Friday, December 18, 2009

Freaky Friday~ Sanity

The Heavenly host cried out in joy the day you were born. Know you are here for a reason and REJOICE!
~joni~
***

Sanity...part II

Okay, after reading my post yesterday I’ll get into clarifying it up, hopefully. It sounded like a cryptic message lay hidden in there and if you know me personally, there more than likely is.

The year started off in a weird way. I was searching for myself and somewhere along the line I got lost; what with the move and all. Some thought I was uncertain of the move, unsure of where I wanted to be but in my heart there is only one place I wanted to be and that is here in Nebraska.

My writing took a big back burner because now I was taking on tasks that I never had to do before. I think life got flipped upside down and confetti flew all over the place (those were my brains) and I found myself here on a farm out in the middle of nowhere with chores that needed tending. A good five-six hours were spent mowing, raking, weeding planting, sowing, reaping, washing, drying, all kinds of chores!

I was sure my writing was going to pick back up but excuse after excuse,distraction after distraction kept me from writing. Now keep in mind, I’ve worked hard to become a writer and all of the sudden things stopped. I didn’t want to write, I hated writing. Writer’s block? No, stuff happens. I was putting others before myself and my writing was what got cut short.

If I could put the year in review? I put my heart and soul in the blender and pushed ON! There I go, look at me twirling all around, jumping through hoops, press STOP and I find it’s Christmas already!

Last week, something happened. I felt a shift in the atmosphere. I got hurt. Hurt to the point I’ve been trying to pull myself together like a worn old teddy bear needing someone to sew his arm back on. I’m not one to dwell on crap, so I move on, but I’m telling you...it was a polar shift and I don’t know if all the pieces will fit together again. Where do *I* fit into this puzzle? I don’t have nostalgia here, or old friends, family, memories. Nothing, so where do I fit in? :::shrugs:::

I was moving right along, enjoying everything this world has to offer then, WHAM, this boulder started rolling like in the Indiana Jones movie? Rolling, I’m running, running, it’s rolling and WHAM! I’m crushed! Like a cartoon character I pick myself up, stick my thumb in my mouth and blow, POOF, I’m whole again.

Come January my writing is going to take precedence in my life once again. No more excuses. No more problems getting in the way! I’m doing it and that is final!! I need to find myself once again and I will turn to the strength and love that has come to comfort me in my darkest of moments, my Heavenly Father. I know I’ll make it because He is going to carry me as if I’m a feather!

godspeed my friends...

6 comments:

Stormcrow said...

You can do it!

Broken Cistern said...

Wow! What can I say...here's to you, Joni, the many joys of writing, muses, critiques and all. *clinking cyber champagne glasses*

Caroline

joni said...

*clink* I'll drink to that!!! :-)

Raven said...

Go for it, Joni!

I try to follow Ray Bradbury's advice to write like your life depends on it. There are days when writing feels like a lifeline.

Tossing you a rope, Joni. Grab hold. We'll get you out of there in a jiff.

courage.

Raven

Raven said...

Go for it, Joni!

I try to follow Ray Bradbury's advice to write like your life depends on it. There are days when writing feels like a lifeline.

Tossing you a rope, Joni. Grab hold. We'll get you out of there in a jiff.

courage.

Raven

June said...

Love your attitude and courage, Joni. :)

You go!!

And remember that I'm here for you. Always.

Here's a quote from OH, SHI*F*T! How to Change Your Life with One Little Letter by Jennifer Powers:

"It's the little choices that collectively make up the big picture -- life. Change your choices, change your life."

Best Wishes!
June