Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Still Waiting...

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
Isaiah 40:31
Ahh, we’re here still waiting. Since I don’t give my perspective on this too much, today I think I’ll break away from all of the f2k bashing and just get down and talk about me.

They say I’m loved. Out here in the middle of a potato field, and I’m surrounded by love. I look to my left, to my right, and I’m alone. Where is everybody?

Here lately I’ve been doing a cleansing of sorts. Getting out of my system the things that are hindering me from growing, and I have to tell you, in about three weeks...I am going to be breathing free again.

May ninth was an eye doctors visit that gave me a whole lot of hope. I ran around here cleaning the house like a mad woman, I felt sucked into the vortex of happy and promise, and slowly the weeks began to pass. I put off doctor visits for Adam because I didn’t want to have to cancel them at the last minute when we got, ‘the call’.

The call? Yeah, the anticipated call to get to Omaha NOW, we’ve got a cornea! Yes, my fiancĂ© is awaiting a cornea so he can see again. And awaiting is what we are doing. Day after day, we wait, the phone rings and we run to it, all summer long this has been the case. We’ve occupied ourselves with, for him audiobook reviews and myself, mowing and cleaning.

Now with Adam in school, we’re still waiting. Beau missed an August 11 appointment with the eye doc because back in May, they said it was a ‘follow up’ visit, after the surgery. Well she called us and let us know, that that visit was a mandatory visit to keep him on the waiting list. So back to the eye docs we went in the beginning of September, and tomorrow another physical at the primary doctor.

I sure wish they were more clear with their information. It seems like all a big secret until the day you’re under the knife letting them plunge into your eye. And one wonders why I’m stressed? Then there's the Lion's Club lady...

I wasn’t even going to do f2k this session because of the added stress I’m under but after a new laptop arrived, free to me, I agreed to do this session, and now I wish I would have just listened to my heart, instead of feeling pressured. I have to remember me, because no one else knows, or understands the pressure I’m under.

They say they care, but really? It is just part of their daily ritual to spew out of their mouth. “I care” then they’re on their way going about their happy-go-lucky life. But wait...it isn’t a happy go lucky life is it, I have to remember that. They wake to sit at the computer, they long to ‘see’ names, they yearn to be a part of something and eagerly in their own isolated way, they find it online. In their loneliness, the people online are all they have.

Me, I have more and am grateful and would do well to remember that my online friends love and care for me, I may be all they have in a stressful, lonely, longing day. Me, I have potatoes! :)

Words from The Clarion Call; Kay says: The world frowns on sitting and waiting when they can't see why we are waiting. We won't be popular if we say, "No," to something that seems to be the right thing. We must walk in the Spirit, listening for God's voice. We must be looking for His direction all the time. We must also NEVER make assumptions about what God wants us to do.
Waiting is often not easy. It takes practice to learn how to wait. The more we purposely wait on God before we act, the easier it gets.

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