Happy Birthday to ME!

Pss. 118: 17  “I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD.”

Happy Birthday to Me...I am Special

I had a dream last night with my brother-in-law, M, and sister-in-law, B, in it; they crept into my dream to point out that I am special. In the dream, he said I couldn’t go to the store he goes to because I wouldn’t be allowed to register. M went on to say that I was above that store, meaning I was too good to shop in the store. At first, I was offended but my S-I-L was saying that he meant it in a good way. He said that I was special in my thinking and very rare and that the people wouldn’t allow the likes of ‘my kind’ in their store. Geez, I never even got to see what kind of store I was too good for, but since he is an avid member of agriculture and all things Monsanto, it might have been a feed store, in my mind anyway.

I have to admit, I am kind of special. I came into this world on my Mother’s twenty-ninth birthday, the last of six kids. Every year on our birthday my mother gives each of us kids our birthday story and of course, my day was special for different reasons than theirs. Besides the special day, the thing that stood out to me the most was her doctor had told her she had plenty of time before delivery and to relax. He left the room and within minutes I popped out! As the nurse called the doctor back into the room, I was already in her hands, covered in ooze for the doctor to clean up. 

Ironically, in my twenty-ninth year, I gave birth also. It wasn’t on my mother’s birthday instead it was three days before my dad’s birthday, both right after Christmas! And my doctor did the same exact thing, he said I wasn’t ready to deliver; I was hours away from delivering. I said to him, “Stay close because that is exactly what my mother’s doctor said when I was born and made a hasty arrival.” The doc left the room chuckling and bam! I was so ready to push! He wasn’t minutes out the door, he didn’t even have time to put his scrubs on, hurrying back to the scene and there my son was, arriving in a hurry, my after Christmas special surprise.

Then there is the fact that I’m the baby of the family. My mother always treated me special and my siblings made sure I knew that she treated me more special than them. 

Then there’s God. I woke this morning to gusty winds and clinging cloudy skies. I sighed. But it’s my birthday, I’m special remember I uttered softly to the morning. As I continued on in the quiet of the morning reading my scripture I could see light outside the window meaning morning was near. I opened the curtain a little because I love looking out at the sunrise. It sure didn’t look like I’d get one today with all of the clouds.

Then it happened, the clouds parted just enough for me to see a glimmer of sun streaking its rays out of the clouds. There it was, God said to me, “You ARE special!” I hurriedly snapped a picture. Then I sat down and the sun burst momentarily through the clouds so bright I had to close the curtains a little! I looked at the weather for the day: windy, clouds and chance of storms later. 

3 23 18 Sunrise

Yes, I am special! A thunderstorm this evening will be icing on my cake! No, I didn’t have cake, I don’t miss it either! I had a glutenfree pizza! That’s my Friday treat. It’s been five days without the use of my cane. I went shopping yesterday on a sunny 65-degree day and am almost (not 100%) myself again! I’m special!

I have wonderful friends who all took time out of their day to wish ME a Happy Birthday! I thank them from the bottom of my heart! My sister called, my husband was home as was my son, my mother-in-law gave me a beautiful card and an enormous fruit tray! And to finish off the day… A thunderstorm! It is well…with my soul! 

God Bless you ALL! 

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well with my soul.

Refrain:

It is well with my soul,

It is well, it is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,

Let this blest assurance control,

That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,

And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!—

My sin, not in part but the whole,

Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:

If Jordan above me shall roll,

No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life

Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,

The sky, not the grave, is our goal;

Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!

Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,

The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;

The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,

Even so, it is well with my soul.

One of my favorite songs!

Astri Celia ~ Still Born

Hos. 9:11 “As for Ephraim, their glory shall fly away like a bird, from the birth, and from the womb, and from the conception.”

Astri Celia 

b. 4-26-04 d. 4-26-04

So many have forgotten her

They never knew her name

What people here don’t realize 

I’m left not quite the same

I held her tiny body

My fingers brushed her face

Life was taken out of her

Right from this earthly place

She never felt the sunshine

No chance to run and play

I was faced with living

Without her near me every day.

Seven months of bonding

As all pregnant mothers know

You’re threaded by conception

To this child you’ll watch and grow.

So many have forgotten her

Astri Celia was her name

What people here don’t realize

I’m left not quite the same.

Ecc. 7:1 “A good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one's birth.”

Graduation

Prov. 8:10 Receive my instruction, and not silver; and knowledge rather than choice gold.

Well this is it, two more days and my son graduates from high school. I remember five years ago when we moved to Nebraska and Steven said we should put him in school. I was so not up for putting him in school.

You see, I home-schooled Adam. I didn’t feel society had anything to offer him and putting him in school would only taint him. Boy was I wrong. When we mentioned sending him to school he got all excited. As I often do when I’m faced with a task or something, I pray. And pray I did. Adam and Steven were already on board with the whole school thing and now I needed some guidance.

Adam was seven when we moved to Texas and now at thirteen we were moving to Nebraska. I was shaping him and forming him for the world and now I had to let him go into the world and see how he’d respond. Would society accept him? Would they taunt and tease him? Would they take away from him all the work I did?

His first year of school was ninth grade and they saw that he was different; he was a ‘home schooled homeboy’. He had a lot of city upbringing in him and he was among the country folk who have a whole different way of living. Wouldn’t ya know it, it was the outcasts that accepted him first.

His first year was rough with all of the bully’s eyes on him. He was different, he stood out, he had different beliefs than they had. Sure this was a God loving place but you see, when kids are normally taught God and thrown into society at six, it is society who shapes and molds them. God shaped and molded Adam so he was different in that aspect. It was obvious that society had not shaped him.

I clashed with the rules of the system big time. When Adam got pushed I told him to push back but the system was different. When someone walked up and punched you in the face, you were told to go to the office and NOT hit back! I was raised in the city and if someone hit me, we hit back or get a worse beating the next time if we ‘tattled’. When I see the bully NOT get punished because, “we just want to get him out of the school.” But Adam got punished for hitting back? Yeah, something is wrong with the system!

And we wonder why these kids are getting bullied and going back to the school and killing many? I don’t wonder at all. I know they are angry at a system that sees these kids as their property, not individual human beings! When a school has a dress code and no one abides, there is no punishment for non-adherence. The girls are allowed to wear up the butt tight shorts, but bullies are allowed a free pass? Something is seriously wrong with the system.

By eleventh grade it was a little better, except now Adam had his own mind formed and was learning rights; the rights of the people. He’s not a stupid kid, he could see where the kids rights were stamped on at many levels and this angered him, so much so he wanted his future to be as an activist.

By this time he was seventeen and I felt he was old enough for violent video games. I had never allowed them but now at seventeen, he was obviously his own person able to make his own decisions on what he wanted. Video games didn’t shape him but they allowed him to get out some pent up anger.

Did I force him to get all A’s, no. Did I force him to become like everyone else and aim for college, no. Is this a mistake I made? I don’t feel it is. He is his own person and knows what he wants. He don’t want college and while everyone is telling him it is wrong not to go to college, he knows his rights and he knows that college would just force him into doing things he DON’T want to do.

Now it is graduation year. He is eighteen and knows how to be a human being in society. Sure it is going to be hard, who in this world has it easy? Are any of you in the career that your college choice has you doing? Did you go to college and now work at McDonald’s, farming, the job of your choice? So what was your point in college again? I know, I know, many chose astrophysicists, a teacher, a doctor and that is your line of work, but again, it was YOUR choice right? Or did mom and dad make you excel and you went to college and now are NOT working in your chosen field?

Life is hard. I wasn’t given a handbook saying this is the right and wrong way; I had to wing it just like millions of others. Was all my choices right? By no means. Are they wrong? Not at all. But God gave us the freedom of choice and living in a supposed free world where our rights are infringed upon daily, Adam has a choice and he CHOOSES not to go to college. Is it a mistake? I don’t know. But if it is, it is HIS mistake to make not mine.

I do know that sending him to school was the best choice I could make for him as a child and as graduation day approaches I can SEE the choice I made living in him. He wrote me a Mother’s Day card last week. He told me how he loved me and thanked me for allowing him choices; to choose God, to choose his future and to be able to choose anything he wants in life.

To me… that is what parenting is. To realize that the little human being that has been entrusted to you be allowed the freedom of choice. By allowing society to raise and shape them, graduation day will be the results of that product. Sometimes there will be good results and sometimes not so good results but as I see it, my choice has rewarded me with good results.

I thank God every day that He brought us to Nebraska. Adam was formed by God, shaped by poverty and molded by the land and his surroundings. When Adam receives his diploma, I will see God finishing up what He brought us here to do. My baby is no longer mine to do with what I want, he is now a product of God’s and my best advice to him will be, ‘Go with God.’ I don’t often hold pride in my hand, but on this day I will stand proud of the young man that Adam has become. After all, he is Adam Omega, my first and my last. 

Joel 3:14 Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision: for the day of the LORD is near in the valley of decision.