The Echo of Change

Echo, echo, echo…

Life is an echo

What you send out, comes back.

What you sow, you reap

What you give, you get

What you see in others exists in you

Remember, life is an echo

It always gets back to you

So give goodness!

~ Zig Ziglar

This is the year of change. I don’t say this because it is January 1st, I say it because it is an actual fact that has been burning inside me for a few months now. So many people wait for the New Year to make resolutions, only not keep them and then feel the disappointment fester when they fail. I’m not making a resolution here; I feel a life change coming around the corner.

As I climbed into bed last night around ten, I thought of New Years that have passed away like the fallen confetti, gone but not forgotten. I would stand squished between friends and family around Baltimore’s Inner Harbor waiting for the 12 o’clock firework show with a beer in my hand and smoking weed (because with 250,000 people no one could tell where the smell was coming from).

Then as I grew older my light show was sitting in my warm home at the window (no alcohol or drugs), with my niece who loved to come to my house on New Year’s Eve to spend the night and stay awake to watch the fireworks. I lived so close to the Inner Harbor that you could hear the revelers whooping and hollering. Cars would blare horns, kids would clang pots and pans and I just sat still with a smile watching the splendid light show.

As I made my way to Texas in later years, New Years Eve took on a different shape and form. I never anticipated fireworks and often I was in bed before the 12 o’clock ball drop. Not much for New Years rockin’ eve, I had grown and matured. Life became more subdued, no longer did the bottle hold me prisoner. I no longer felt compelled to mark my New Year with booze.  

Now as I mature further as an old fuddy duddy, I don’t understand why people, some who never drink, decide that on New Year’s Eve to take some wine or champagne and drink to the New Year. I think conformist follow what other people do in carrying on traditions. Since I’m not a conformist I see no point in celebratory events to mark the flipping of a calendar page.

I had to do some research and see why; why on earth do we ring in a New Year. Just as I suspected, it is a celebration handed down through other gods. It is solely based on superstition and the human race needing to be a part of ‘the world’ follows along.

I wonder if I’m alone in not wanting to be a part of the ritualistic and occult practices? I wonder if anyone sees nonsense in the eating of beans for good luck, having a drink at midnight to bring on a prosperous new year and other ritualistic traditions handed down by the Babylonians.

My dad used to eat pickled herring on New Years Eve; I used to think clinking a bottle would give me a promise of a good year. They were false illusions that I’ve come to realize over the years. Will my year be hellish if I don’t participate? Will the gods curse my year of growth and change? Are we to follow omens and the occult?

Is it just me who wants to turn the New Year into a flipping of a page as my consuming practice on January first? I knew I was weird but I think I’ve gone and taken it to new heights in my transcending timeline called life. I’m different and I’m okay with that.

Like I said yesterday, my life has been and always will be more spiritual than following rituals and traditions of the past. I like to start my own traditions being as different as they are.

Deut. 18: 9-14 “When thou art come into the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee, thou shalt not learn to do after the abominations of those nations.

There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch,

Or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer.

For all that do these things are an abomination unto the LORD: and because of these abominations the LORD thy God doth drive them out from before thee.

Thou shalt be perfect with the LORD thy God.

For these nations, which thou shalt possess, hearkened unto observers of times, and unto diviners: but as for thee, the LORD thy God hath not suffered thee so to do.”

I know many people will put their spin on scripture, picking pieces out to call truth and bend that truth to fit nicely and neatly into their life so they feel justified in doing what they’re doing. I do the same thing. Yes, I’m a sinner and yes I do wrong, but this is going to be the year of change in me as I prepare my soul for my eternity. My previous years have been based on growth. This year I learn from that growth and change. The echo I release to the world will be one of hope and love. I will not be a part of the negativity that so many cling to on a daily basis as their compass in life.

This is not a resolution per se, this is growth and with growth, just like the seedling, comes change. My echo will be heard. 

Have a blessed year growing with God!

It is finished...the year that is

Baltimore's Inner Harbor

Gen. 2:15 And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.

The year has come and gone in a whirlwind of speed.

As I rip the last calendar month off, I reflect on the year it was. T’was a year of uncertainty, the loss of a dear cousin-in-law and a facebook friend to colon cancer. I think of the sad months and the joyous months also, that I leave behind in a heap of dried leaves left for springtime removal.

I end the year in uncertainty too as I’m not quite sure where I fit into this life anymore. I’m sure my days as an inspirational writer are over. How can I write to inspire when I have nothing to inspire people with? We'll see.

As the New Year rings in at midnight and people will either be glued to their television watching the bane of society dancing and gyrating across their screens, tucked away at some bar chugging in the new year, or huddled in coats and blankets watching the firework shows going off in many cities (like Baltimore) across America. I myself will be fast asleep and won’t wake until six in the morning to see just what went on while I slept.

While horns will be blaring, guns will be shot in the air, pots and pans will be banged on, tooters will be tooting and again, I will be fast asleep as the world rings in a New Year. Do I resent people partying and ringing in a New Year in a fashion that I once, in my youthful years, was an active participant in? Not at all. We all need to celebrate SOMEthing in life and if a New Year beginning is what works for you, don’t you dare judge me for not finding excitement in just another day and night.

As I’ve said earlier, I don’t do resolutions, I no longer party, and as I get older I no longer stay up past midnight for ANY reason. Some people use a holiday, any holiday as an excuse to drink and party it up. In my day, I was one of those zombies. Not any more and I’m grateful for that. I no longer allow alcohol and partying to rule my world.

I guess I grew up somewhere along the line. I became a fuddy-duddy when I was out seeking my soul. I’m still seeking my soul purpose as I’ve always done and it will never end until my time here on earth ends. We’re not born to just diddle and dawdle away our lives, we’re placed here to SEEK. From the very first book in the Holy Bible, Genesis, we were created to be pure and knowing of no evil.

We faltered and fell and it has always been our destiny to seek out and become like the Adam God created, knowing of no evil. While some will linger in evil for their lives, banking on the forgiveness that Christ gives, we are not to be sinners as a rule because of forgiveness, we are to be sinners and know better before sinning again! After begging for forgiveness for a sin committed, we are to turn from that sin, we’re not to commit it over and over again thinking our forgiveness is a get out of jail FREE card.

The soul seeker in me seeks to purify my soul by any means and if that means giving up the wages of sin, if that means walking in the Light instead of the dark, if that means to be the best person God created me to be, then so be it.

Tomorrow I will wake and a new calendar will be in place. A new day will be here for me to embrace and my soul will rejoice in seeking out all that is good in the world. My heart will be light and as fluffy as the newly fallen snow and I will strive to be everything God intended me to be when I was formed. I will not try to be who people expect me to be, I will Be. I will be ME!

Happy New Year to all who celebrate! May blessings abound in this new calendar shift. 

BE SAFE!!!

Ho Hum Monday...

Well my friends it is Monday again. It seems like it was just Monday the other day. Maybe all days are beginning to feel like Monday. Oh dear. Ho hum...

This weekend was our (I say our, as in America’s) Fourth of July, Independence Day. That means cookouts and fireworks!!! We didn’t have any cookouts to attend, but we did go to Bobbi’s for some fireworks. Her kids just love putting on a show of spectacular fireworks and I have to admit, they did a great job. The rest of the country remembers our FREEDOM and Independence on this day.

We didn’t get home until the wee hours of the AM, about 12 am. I have trouble driving on these dark roads with blinding headlights and swerves and curves, so it took me longer than normal to just ‘drive home’. But it was a fun evening, for me and Adam.

I imagine my beau had a nice time. I can’t imagine being blind and hearing all that commotion, loud noise and popping sounds without being able to see the arcs of the brilliant light showering down. Ho hum...

There is something I look forward to this week and that is the beginning of F2K. It always gives me a sense of purpose, running around the halls, helping people along in their writing endeavors. I love helping people and most of all, I love teaching people something new and answering questions. There’s not much that I look forward to, but this is something I look forward to four times a year.

I’m going to put my writing on hold for a while. Don’t know if that means my blog or not, but I’ll keep on writing my poetry. Why am I putting my writing on hold? Well, sometimes in life, things happen and we just have to do what we have to do, and I have to prepare my son for school.

You see, he’s been home schooled all these years and now he wants to go, and really it is quite a necessity in the money department. I need a job so he can get new clothes, books, shoes, and tools, and everything that a real school entails! Home school has always been frowned upon. I hear, “It’s nice, if you can AFFORD it.” or “Wouldn’t he be better in a school doing ‘normal’ things that kids do?” and so many other demeaning, hurtful comments.

Yes, I’m proud that all you parents did such an exemplary job in sending your kids to school and showed the world how great a parent you are. I hope all your kids grew up and turned out to be all that you expected them to be. Me, I expect nothing from my son. If he succeeds in life, great. If he fails, I’ll be there to catch him. It’s what mother’s do, I think. It’s called support your child? Home schooled or Schooled, we all are the same, we’re mother’s.

Writing for an hour here and there is just not cutting it for me. I need to expand, grow as a woman, and be a ‘real’ mother. Ho hum...

Have a sun-filled Monday and hang in there...life has a way of taking the hum out of the hoe. lol