Show vs. Tell

Joni’s going to write a blog post today.

Joni sits at her desk, pencils, paper, stapler surrounding her. A deep sigh leaves her mouth as she sits contemplating, ready to tap on the keys preparing to write today’s blog.

Aha! I think I’ll write about SHOW vs. Tell! In the first sentence I told you what Joni was going to do. In the second sentence I SHOWED you.

I often read from beginning writers, ‘What is the difference in show vs. tell?’ I read many mentor’s critiques exclaiming, ‘You need to show more than tell’.

Showing is more specific in terms as it lays out the picture for you. General terms are good when you need to tell when something is happening that is brief in the story. Whereas, showing moves the story along from point A to point B.

To tell a story, one only needs to say,

Mary went to the store.

To help in getting the picture across to your reader, the ones who are following your every word, you need to learn how to SHOW them the story.

Mary grabbed her purse, hurried out the front door to walk down to the corner store. The screen door slammed as her mother called from behind, “Don’t forget the bread.”

You can see Mary in your mind, can’t you? You no longer are holding a non-descriptive image of Mary, you now see a woman grabbing her purse and rushing out the door, only to be halted by the voice of her mother.

Think of yourself reading a book. You don’t start at the end, you begin at the first page. You take it slowly and read one page at a time so you can grasp the entire picture.

Taken out of context, you can speed read a page here and there but do you fulfill your journey of enjoyment? Showing and telling can give you the same information. But with the showing the reader gets to savor each and every word in a visual manner.

Creating a mental picture for the reader is important if you care for them enough to read to the end. Children love fairy tales where they don’t need a lot of the weighted down imagery; they get picture books to supply the images. But novels or short stories need to tap into the mental cinema of the reader’s mind.

Telling is fine for trivial things like it was a stormy day. If the storm is essential to moving the story along or part of the immediate scene then showing should be done. Don’t over do it with the imagery so no one says you’re padding your work. Showing should come as a natural flow to you.

I was sad when my dog died.

This is telling you how I felt when my dog died.

I was miserable when my dog died. It hurt so much I could just spit. I never expected him to die and now he’s left me alone and lonely for companionship.

This is padding the telling and not really showing you how I felt. You read that my dog died, I hurt, and I felt alone.

Now let me try to SHOW you how I felt.

Today I was utterly distracted when the puppies in the park were playing Frisbee, it reminded me of my Skippy. My friend for life or so I thought, until he contracted a deadly virus that took him from my life. No longer do I look at his bowls the same way as they still sit on the floor near the door.

This statement gives more specific details, without telling how I “felt”. You can read in my words that I miss him. You can read my hurt without using the word. You can read that I miss my dog and that I’m hurting just by getting the longing feeling from, “No longer do I look at his bowls the same way.”

The point of "showing" is not to drown the reader in a sea of details. Instead, you should pick out only those instrumental details that matter.

Give your reader something to hold onto. Have them frothing at the mouth waiting to read more of your pain and anguish. Give him/her a tale of beauty with ribbons of sensory and imagery. Save the telling for the hairdresser.

Give your writing some music and it will SING!

Showing vs. Telling

Joni’s going to write a blog post today.

Joni sits at her desk, pencils, paper, stapler surrounding her. A deep sigh leaves her mouth as she sits contemplating, ready to tap on the keys preparing to write today’s blog.

Aha! I think I’ll write about SHOW vs. Tell! In the first sentence I told you what Joni was going to do. In the second sentence I SHOWED you.

I often read from beginning writers, ‘What is the difference in show vs. tell?’ I read many mentor’s critiques exclaiming, ‘You need to show more than tell’.

Showing is more specific in terms as it lays out the picture for you. General terms are good when you need to tell when something is happening that is brief in the story. Whereas, showing moves the story along from point A to point B.

To tell a story, one only needs to say,

Mary went to the store.

To help in getting the picture across to your reader, the ones who are following your every word, you need to learn how to SHOW them the story.

Mary grabbed her purse, hurried out the front door to walk down to the corner store. The screen door slammed as her mother called from behind, “Don’t forget the bread.”

You can see Mary in your mind, can’t you? You no longer are holding a non-descriptive image of Mary, you now see a woman grabbing her purse and rushing out the door, only to be halted by the voice of her mother.

Think of yourself reading a book. You don’t start at the end, you begin at the first page. You take it slowly and read one page at a time so you can grasp the entire picture.

Taken out of context, you can speed read a page here and there but do you fulfill your journey of enjoyment? Showing and telling can give you the same information. But with the showing the reader gets to savor each and every word in a visual manner.

Creating a mental picture for the reader is important if you care for them enough to read to the end. Children love fairy tales where they don’t need a lot of the weighted down imagery; they get picture books to supply the images. But novels or short stories need to tap into the mental cinema of the reader’s mind.

Telling is fine for trivial things like it was a stormy day. If the storm is essential to moving the story along or part of the immediate scene then showing should be done. Don’t over do it with the imagery so no one says you’re padding your work. Showing should come as a natural flow to you.

I was sad when my dog died.

This is telling you how I felt when my dog died.

I was miserable when my dog died. It hurt so much I could just spit. I never expected him to die and now he’s left me alone and lonely for companionship.

This is padding the telling and not really showing you how I felt. You read that my dog died, I hurt, and I felt alone.

Now let me try to SHOW you how I felt.

Today I was utterly distracted when the puppies in the park were playing Frisbee, it reminded me of my Skippy. My friend for life or so I thought, until he contracted a deadly virus that took him from my life. No longer do I look at his bowls the same way as they still sit on the floor near the door.

This statement gives more specific details, without telling how I “felt”. You can read in my words that I miss him. You can read my hurt without using the word. You can read that I miss my dog and that I’m hurting just by getting the longing feeling from, “No longer do I look at his bowls the same way.”

The point of "showing" is not to drown the reader in a sea of details. Instead, you should pick out only those instrumental details that matter.

Give your reader something to hold onto. Have them frothing at the mouth waiting to read more of your pain and anguish. Give him/her a tale of beauty with ribbons of sensory and imagery. Save the telling for the hairdresser.

Give your writing some music and it will SING!

Book bites:

Showing & Telling by Laurie Alberts

For powerful and balanced writing

See Yourself Here?

Pss. 73:20 As a dream when one awaketh; so, O Lord, when thou awakest, thou shalt despise their image.

 

Do you see yourself in my words?  Last weeks posts were all about having you see yourself in my words as I sorted out the state of my mind. Although I know my mind is not your mind and we are all different, we are the same in many ways, for one, we’re writers and as such we share a common bond; a string that links us together whether you like it or not.  I know that through the years, many people I’ve known have looked to doctors, and pills, alcohol and social scenes on the net, just to feel like the pit isn’t so deep and swallowing them whole. I have not been exempt. Nope, I jumped right in, feet first, and wallowed in the abyss with everyone else, and must say, I enjoyed it, it was fun!

But I stood back, looked at the pool and it was a green mossy goo and grimy. It was as if the sludge had covered all the bodies and scenes of a horror show came to mind as only the faces surfaced, distorted in a grotesque fashion, and I knew, something had to change. But I was not going to change. I was enjoying myself, justifying my actions, I continued. Until that is, while my head was turned, I smacked into a solid brick wall! Not the soft ones that your mind conjures and you walk into without a bump on the head. Nope a rock solid brick wall.

I was forced to change. You see how these posts came full circle? I went from facebook forcing a change in my social scene addiction to today’s post of  the All powerful God, forcing a mighty change in my life! You might again say, “That is not me, I have no problem.” But He sees in me what He himself created, and I’m not using it so He took action to make me see.

I am a writer! God created me to write and as I lost sight of that, got lost in the murky water, I realized why my face was poking through, all of our faces, because that was to keep us breathing so we can take action and change, or stay covered in the marsh, floating on your back, with just a grotesque face showing.

Do you see yourself here? In all of my writing, whether my poetry, in the scripture I share, or in a story I tell, my goal as a writer is for each of you to see yourself, take a look in the mirror, and see if that is the you that God intended, or are you just another character in a story hiding among the myriad of words behind the masks that you yourself have created.

Through this blog, I want you to see yourself AS a writer. If God intended that for you, then embrace the words He puts in your heart and give the world a you, that you can be proud of. Share stories, journal your thoughts, learn how to build word  upon word, a story that everyone else can see themselves a part of. Don’t make it all about you. Connect in ways that you were born to connect with. Thread by thread you will be building a blanket of warmth that lights the heart and souls of others, just the way that He intended.

Writing~ A home within my home ~

Pss.19:4 Their line is gone out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world. In them hath he set a tabernacle for the sun,
***

A writer sits nestled behind the short wooden desk, a lamp that looks like a small crane reaches out its light to cast dreamy whiteness onto the keyboard. Fingers can be seen tapping on the keyboard as many words fill the page.

The image of the writer spending many days and nights in this very position of straight back, legs curled up under, possibly a warm fuzzy blanket wrapped around to take off any chill that might drift by, and silence. Silence fills the air except for the keys delivering a cabaret in the stillness of the morning.

The writers mind envelops many worlds, wired to fantasy outside of home. Clinging to thoughts that have passed over time and now adhering like a wet blanket to the mind waiting to be spilled onto the white page.

The roads are dark and treacherous, the clouds ominous, the sounds piercing, the people all held within a conflict of the world that spins around them. Material and immaterial presence is lurking around every page, stones skip in a river, boulders tumble down the side of a mountain, barely missing the few that have wandered this road.

This is the eclipse of the writer as she destroys families, rebuilds friendships, molds characters, misplaces words, only to find them resurfacing on another page, another chapter in time of the story, waiting to be used for the most poignant part of the clincher, the revealing of the truth that created this story to begin with.

Sentences all line up like soldiers, dark and mysterious, forming gripping paragraph after gripping paragraph. The reader is in the mesmerizing throes of the pages that have formed the story and the writer, the quiet, beautiful writer has cast a spell holding the one who reads the story in the palm of her hand.

Here before you lies a tale of the writer’s life. Sure if they’re making millions, they’re probably out having fun in between stories, but for us wannabe’s, we’re here living out this fantasy of putting meaningful words, compelling words, to a page. We can’t just tell you a simple story, with so-so words. We have to pack a powerful punch in each and every single word so that the meaning can carry on throughout an entire chapter, massive amounts of pages, to a finale of complete orgasmic quality!

My mentors always tell me to make every word count and as I scan my sentences I’m always making sure there isn’t a boring word, that will stop you in your tracks and cause you to toss my book/story into the heap of no-good reads of yesteryear.

Did I say orgasmic quality? What can I say. Writing is a euphoric high here in the pine scented confines of my humble abode. Without any inhibitions, writing is, my home within my home.

Giving Up!

Acts 19:40 For we are in danger to be called in question for this day's uproar, there being no cause whereby we may give an account of this concourse.
***

Have you ever thought about giving up? I mean, on so many occasions I thought about giving up this blogging thing for many different reasons. Giving up writing for so many other reasons. Is anyone reading what I write? Is anybody learning anything new? Is everyone leaving here, knowing something they never knew before?

I know the answer is yes, because I try not to post crud. I like people leaving here with a sense of gaining some insight, whether it is about writing or life in general, that they might have had questions about, and found the answer here!

By default, I’m a people pleaser. Yes, another fault of mine. Honest to a fault and a people pleaser. Why I do this, I have no idea. I think it is our innate nature to try and please all of the people, all of the time. We don’t allow ourselves to just say NO to someone, or something that we think might hurt their feelings, but some of us can hurt certain people some of the time. Did you ever wonder why?

We live in a world where hurt and pain are like third arms. We go through life trying to please everyone and someone comes and says, “You stink!” No one’s ever said that to me, I’m just saying...

Writing is like a water well of words flowing onto the screen. We need these words to get our message across, and our words need to heal or educate, not hurt. I’m living in the writing world of indecision. Do I give up, or try to please all of the people all of the time? Do I make the decision alone or ask others what they think?

I think I’ll keep on writing. Stories come to me in waves, thoughts come in crashing thunderous waves, while people come and go like the flower buds in Spring, here today, gone tomorrow. Some buds stay with you a lifetime (like your parents and family) some pass on to another realm, (like your grandparents and the ones before them) and some just fade away like yesterday’s dinner.

Are materials like that? You know, the ones you hold onto and treasure? Do they eventually all get ripped from your life and become just a memory? Not the bud materials like a sofa and furniture, I mean the lasting ones that stick with you a lifetime, do they eventually all just become a memory? Will writing become just a passing fancy and a treasured memory?

This post probably makes no sense at all. I think you’ll walk away more confused than when you arrived. But allow me to say this, NEVER give up! God did not create us so that we could give up. Imagine had Adam given up, or Noah, or Moses. The list is endless.

If we give up, we are giving in to those people we aim to please. We’ll go quietly to our corner, and sulk. Sorry, I can’t give up. It’s not in me. Well, it is, but writing is a passion, not a fancy way with words. Writing is a gift, not a material object that can be driven away by a tree falling on top. Writing is my life, enjoy the journey, or get off the ride.

Poetic Prose

Poetic Prose

I often read books for the sheer beauty of the words written. Okay I sometimes read for good content, but more often than not, I’m always sinking into a prose train of thought.

When I read Tolkien it is like diving into a masters brain. I often read his work just to stimulate my writing. Sometimes I get stumped on what to write, a block of sorts, and when I read poetry or artistic writing, it always inspires me to write.

Creativity will flow through my veins and smear the screen in colorful poetic prose and then that is when I feel my muse is flowing once again. Where are you at in your writing? Have you tried writing prose?

Let me try and put this simple for you. There are writer’s who write words. A lot of the times it’s more of a telling style. Then there are writer’s who leave you enamored with their style of work. There is a way of showing you the story through the prose style of writing that will have your reader sinking their eyeballs further and further into your story.

So what are you saying to me? (oh I can hear/read you) That you can’t write like that? You don’t know how to give the reader what they want? What is this blog all for nothing? I have told you over and over again, yet you’re still telling me you have troubles?

Hmm... the best way to get over this bump in the road is to sit and write for an hour a day. Just free write, not going back to check what you’ve written. Okay, now you’re going to look at it again. But through a poetic window with new eyes.

“The wind blew hard that day in December.”

“The gusty winds swept through my hair on that cold December day.”

It’s just a matter of sprucing up plain words with some more active adverbs and adjectives. I’m always saying, “Don’t overuse those adverbs and adjectives,” but there is a time when your words need that imagery to carry your reader to the next paragraph.

If he/she isn’t interested in your work, than you need to try harder in bringing the images alive for them. Think of the paper/screen as a palette. You are the artist going to paint the colorful scene only you have no paintbrush, you have pen (or keyboard) in hand and your words are your magic wand that will put a spell on your reader after the first sentence.

There are many tools to the left to help you get where you want or need to be as a writer. Are you using them to the best of your ability? C’mon you can do it. I know you can. I see so much activity over the Internet that there has to be room for YOU! Yes YOU can be the writer you always dreamed of being. Learn the craft. Hone the skills. Practice the elements!

Now get to it! There is nothing holding you back but you.