A Milestone...Changes ARE Happening

Isa. 60:19 "The sun shall be no more thy light by day; neither for brightness shall the moon give light unto thee: but the LORD shall be unto thee an everlasting light, and thy God thy glory."

A Milestone

I wanted to share a bit of a milestone that really came out of nowhere. You remember that for years I thought I had MS and that my unbalance may have been a symptom? I have posted numerous times telling of my pains in my back, knees and everywhere else. 

I know I have one friend that remembers the intimate details I displayed for you all here on my blog. If you’re a follower, you know my story. If you’re not a follower, there are previous posts links over there to play catch up.

Being unbalanced left me either sitting or standing and holding onto the wall but never could I stand and put my pants on in about four years now; it was just too uncertain.

Yesterday it happened, I had to go into my bedroom and get pants. Without even thinking, I stood in the middle of the room and put my pants on, one leg at a time. No wobble, no uncertainty, no holding onto anything, nothing. After pulling them up and buttoning them, I stood there and thought, ‘did I just do that’? A tear came to my eye because it had been four years since feeling like a somewhat normal human being.

My body is changing for the good. Apparently, a healthy lifestyle is what I needed to regain my balance. Not only has the loss of thirty pounds made a significant difference in my wardrobe (115 lbs and holding), the adding of pertinent supplements and healthy eating all around has made a difference in my showering, the way I dress, the way I walk and just about everything in my life. 

This week though, I’ve been on the defense in so many ways. I’m thinking October 29th, the second anniversary of my dad’s passing is taking a toll on me that I never seen coming. I am at peace with his passing but I do have to contend with my mother, very much alive who misses him terribly on a daily basis. She says she can’t figure out why she was kept here alive and I told her point blank, maybe it’s for ME! I think God is going to keep me alive for HER as well.

My mother has no idea I have this ugly disease, she would become paranoid (as usual) and worry too much and try to instill fear in me so I think her NOT knowing is for her benefit as well as mine. I think God has kept her alive for me since she is really the only family that I’m in touch with on a daily basis, my grounding so-to-speak. I’ve always been very close to my mother and not physically seeing her for over ten years has its own stress factor but to hear her voice daily helps relieve the stress immensely.

Another milestone is the tumor itself. I’ve been feeling some sharp pains here lately and instead of fear and panic I kicked into research mode and conferred with ladies experiencing the exact same thing as I, as we are all on an alternative path together. I’m going to get a little (a lot) personal and graphic here, if you’re a man, turn away now. 

The tumor is in the rapid cell die-off phase. Without a doctor, you might be wondering how I know this. Well, let me tell you. The tumor is big. I’ve already done immeasurable research on this and have found that the tumor is not cancer. The tumor is a result of the cancer, a reaction if you will, it is NOT the cancer itself. Back in January when the disease was discovered, I went to the doctor with a C+ cup size of my left breast. I, my life since teenage years, have been a very comfortable B size. 

With my diet change and weight loss, I’m bound to lose breast size so that isn’t the telltale sign I’m looking for in healing, no, the pains are. Over I’d say this past month (since a miraculous herb literally walked in my front door) or two I’ve had a reduction of breast size on the LEFT side. No longer a C+ or even a C, I’m fitting comfortably back into my B cup! You might see that as no big deal, but visually it IS a big deal because I SEE the healing taking place! The tumor is still there but if the pains are a telltale sign of rapid cell die off, I’m winning this battle, a little pain at a time!

I have to share this graphic tale with you as I move toward the continued healing part of my journey. I’m still edgy and defensive but hey, maybe a lack of sugar and carbs is having that effect nine months later. I still have my sense of humor, I took a six-week writing course, and while a little stressful for me, I took it as a challenge to stretch my writing muscles even further. I’m still maintaining strict eating habits that I’m coming to enjoy, I’m still walking and exercising, still loving life and still have problems with my defensiveness. I can work on that though. I’ve done so much work this year that finally I’m seeing the results of my labor. A little defensiveness is nothing to tackle.

All my praise and glory goes to my God on most high! I could not and would not be where I am today without Him holding the reins! My supportive friends are very much an aspect of this healing too! Thank you, and God bless! 

F2K Again...

Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

F2K Again…

Well friends, I decided to take the beloved F2K again. That’s the six-week Creative Writing Course that I used to mentor for many years and I allowed it to fall to the wayside. I still carry the knowledge, who am I kidding, it changed my writing life, and much of my entire life, completely.

As many of my writing friends are taking the course again because we love it so much, I decided this year of all years, I NEEDED this course to ground me.  The learning, the camaraderie, the fun and the lasting friendships are worth the course alone. The reason I’m taking it this year? I need to focus on something other than this stinkin’ disease.

I’ve been in a nonfiction group at WVU writing nonfiction, meaning my true-life tale, so when I signed up for F2K, short for Fiction2000, I had every intention of writing nonfiction. Then I thought about it after my first lesson, this has to be fiction; then out of nowhere, my day was spent writing an amazing fictional tale with my true life story weaved within every sentence.

I wanted the story to be about faith, hope, and love in the midst of turmoil. It’s all about weathering the storm with an illness in tow. Intertwining every word would take some skill, skill I know many of my friends have but I never felt that I was that good of a writer to pull it off. To actually write a fictional tale that could hold its own weight. Telling my story through the eyes of a character. I should also say I know I'm a good writer but I believe all writers lack the intense confidence in their work.

I may eventually post the work on here, my blog, but right now it is too raw and unedited. After it gets perfected, sent out to a few places, I may eventually put the story on here. Unless of course, you’re in my class, you’ll see the tale firsthand. Please don’t give me any suggestions on the story as I’m still weaving the threads. The story is already complete, I’m just in the editing stages, so no advice will be helpful at this point to shape my tale, but thank you. This is my gem.

I believe that everything happens for a reason and in its time. Anyone who has ever read my work knows me virtually or personally knows that about me. Recently, some things have been happening that I know are from Him. Like F2K happening at this precise time, the story unfolding like a blanket at a picnic, and in essence finding a source for my healing.

First let me say, I never buy into conspiracy theories and never get easily swayed by supposed prophetic events and this weekend was no different. This is the weekend 9 24 17 that the world was going to end (again) because a scripture lined up with the signs. I haven’t lived that long on this planet but I know, the prophecy never ends, it’s been going on for a millennium.
While everyone is out trying to make sense of these ‘prophetic’ words looking at every sign and wonder, conjuring up fear in themselves and their families, me, I’m looking for signs that pertain to me.

Ephesians 4:14 (KJV) "That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;"

I’m finding them in hope. Hope in each new day I wake and see another day. Hope in finding pleasure that each week of food shopping has everything there to sustain me. I look for natural healing remedies and I have hope that they’ll surface and they have been. I will take legal and illegal measures to heal and if they come to my door, what am I supposed to do, turn the opportunity away? I take everything God sends my way as a sign of my full healing, so when F2k came along, to me, it was a sign to continue my healing journey via words. 

My story is about Faith, a happy-go-lucky blonde out in the cool autumn temps climbing her happy tree to rest on a limb so as to watch the world below go on while she escapes the turmoil. She hears a commotion and to her surprise from the world inside the Immune System below the gangs of the village are at war with one another. The SeaCells and the BloodCells are busy destroying all that was created. Faith sits up and takes notice, a wake-up call so to speak.... 

I’m not saying much more because my story unravels in a pretty methodic way exhibiting an illness that is taking over a body and the miraculous healing that eventually takes place for all of the world to see. What will be the cure that saves her life?

Let me just say, if you think a miraculous healing takes place in the blink of an eye, you’re pretty naïve in understanding the way the Lord works. When Sara cried out to God for a child, was she instantly pregnant? If I remember correctly, she had to wait years and when she felt defeated in her plea, she became pregnant. But then again we have the bleeding woman who touched Jesus' robe and the bleeding stopped, immediately!

Sometimes we need to wait on the Lord, for in His timing, and our patience, we receive the blessed event. I don’t go looking for healing I allow it to fall into my lap, see it for what it is and become blessed by receiving the healing taking place. I give all glory to God because alone, I can do nothing. F2K has been a blessing and a healing point in my life. The course keeps me on course to where it is I’m supposed to be and do what I’m supposed to do at a precise timing in the Lord’s plan. Yeah, I’m weird and get all of that from one little writing course. 

Praise be to God!

John 15:5 “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.”