Putting The Puzzle Together

2 Cor. 8:2 “How that in a great trial of affliction the abundance of their joy and their deep poverty abounded unto the riches of their liberality.”

Putting the Puzzle Together

A lot of the time people ask, ‘why God, why me’ but me I ask what in the world did I do wrong? Then, as in years past, I begin to lay the puzzle pieces scattered about on the table, in this case, string together words, facts, and such, and begin to put the puzzle together.

Maybe this diagnosis was to get me to open my eyes and visually SEE all the wrong I’ve been doing over the years, mainly my eating habits. Connecting my ills to my eating habits was just one piece of the puzzle but we’re talking about a lifetime of puzzle pieces here. Research has helped me connect the dots.

First, let me say, I cannot say enough about The Truth About Cancer! If it was not for them educating me in all I NEED to know to battle this crud, I’d be sitting here today a victim of chemotherapy. I think it started with Chris Beat Cancer but I also think those two are now awesome collaborators together! They are shaking this disease up and making a true mark on the illness! Want to know what the BEST part of these two teaming up? They are BELIEVERS in God!

I am nine weeks into my HEALING and at this time I would have had two rounds of chemo, nearing my third. I’d be curled up in a ball, relinquished to my bedroom and on drugs to keep me from vomiting my guts out. The clumps of hair would have begun lining and clogging the tub, the weight loss would be from the toxic input of chemo, and I would now be a toxic fume in my house bothering the tenants with the remnants of odors emanating from me. It’s called second-hand chemo – and yes there is facts to back this up!

Instead, nine weeks out I’m walking twice a day, eating right and healthy, listening to calming music, healing parts of myself that I didn’t know needed healing, and finding supplements that will be a part of aiding my healing. But first, I need to know how I got this disease in the first place and TTAC has a module series (I’ve watched twice, for free!) that has helped me immensely understand these puzzle pieces. 

I have God front and center in this journey so don’t think for a minute I’m just listening to the worldwide web for my healing. God is first and foremost, front and center! My spirit-filled world is absorbing the healing and I’m being led to give YOU a message. It’s a win/win situation.

I’ve heard, on too many sites to list, that the disease has been inside me for a very long time. I needed to go back and see where it all began as POSSIBLE reasons. To begin to tie it all together were the vaccines we as children that we were given, mainly the polio vaccine. That’s just one tiny piece of the puzzle. And don’t worry, there are many government websites to say this is a fabricated lie, but who will you believe is up to you.

Another piece of the puzzle was traumatic events as a child, possibly before five years old. Now take note, these are not the CAUSES of this disease, they are merely contributing factors. These are pieces of the puzzle that many won’t look into, they will just hear the diagnosis and trust the oncologists with their fear, slaughter, and poison tactics and ‘get cured’. It’s NOT going to happen! If you haven’t looked into, researched and HEALED the cause, there is nothing in this world capable of finding a cure.

I had a traumatic event happen when I was three and a half, I won’t go into too much detail here, I’m saving it for the novel portion of my tale. I was being pushed too high on one those old aluminum swings. I feared it being tipped as I was being pushed too high. I jumped, catching and splitting open my wrist. Long story short, I now have the scars on my left wrist (I’m left-handed, BTW) looking to some as if I was suicidal at times. (a whole different story there) Rest assured, three and a half, traumatic event, another piece of the puzzle.

The next piece of the puzzle is the correlation to a loss. At sixteen the loss of a child had to top the traumatic events in my so far, short life; then another loss of a child at thirty-seven which is enough to cause anyone to be put out to pasture. Nope, not me, I kept fighting and standing strong. My Lord will protect me and He did! Many people around me wanted me to be mad at God but it is when He made me the strongest! 

Apparently, my puzzle is one of those fifteen hundred piece puzzles or more! 
The next piece of the puzzle is dentistry. From mercury fillings of which I had too many to number, to the root canals that I had, to the major dental infection I had just five or six years ago!

Then there is the messed up spinal column. Ironically, my back pain began right around the time of my major gum infection. Coincidence? I don’t, DO NOT believe in coincidences! This is when I began my B12 consumption because I read that the nutrient could repair nerve damage. I attribute vitamin B12 with my never needing drugs for my pain because it worked!

And now, here I am with the disease of a lifetime. I’ve connected the dots from birth until now and now KNOW the cause that led to this. Keep in mind, we all have different dots to connect. As unique as this disease is to every person, so is the treatment for each individual and the very reason you shouldn’t choose chemo because of FEAR! A decision made out of fear is usually the WRONG decision to make.

Now that I know the CAUSE, I will put a little physics into the equation! The action causes a reaction! (Sue me, I use too many exclamation points.) My EUREKA moment for all to behold!!! The actions of HEALING my body, inside and out, will cause a REACTION, inside and out. Praise be to GOD!

1 Pet. 4:12 “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:”

Miracles Do Happen!

Pss. 40:3 (KJV) “And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD." 

Miracles Do Happen

Five years ago my husband regained his eyesight. You might say it was the doctor who did the cornea transplant but it was way more than just a doctor that put the entire puzzle together to make it work; no, there was a miracle involved from a Higher Power, that’s right, God!

I don’t think blindness is anything you or I could take on easily, sure maybe we think we could but do a test, put a blindfold on for a day and try walking, showering, eating, cooking, all the things we take for granted become magnified.

My hubby went blind gradually, I knew the day he called and asked me to drive him to work after his attempt failed, something he’d done effortlessly for the six years we lived in Texas. The night before, we had been hit with a straight-line wind storm. If you don’t know what that is, it is not much unlike a tornado but forecasters designate it straight line winds because no funnel clouds are present, but the winds are disastrous.

With downed power lines, misplaced roofs and debris scattered in the roads, detours were everywhere making my hubby’s trek into work more difficult; he called me. Fast forward a few weeks and a doctor visit showed he was in need of cornea transplant surgery, again. This time the need was more serious because both eyes were in need and failing. Now jobless and no insurance we needed help, a miracle if you will.

Texas was no longer an option, as the extra help we desperately needed would never come. We had to move to Nebraska where his loving family was and we’d make a new start, blind, penniless, and basically homeless we arrived in Nebraska to the help we needed and then some! 

His family was immensely helpful in this transition from his brother, sister-in-law, and nephew, all missing work and coming to Texas to load us up for the move, to the family in Nebraska waiting to unload us when we arrived. When we finally did arrive, there was food in the cupboards (donated by his mom’s church Gibbon Baptist) as well as an envelope full of money for the basic necessities we’d need. 

Would this blessing train end there? Of course not; month after month for two and a half years the blessings poured in like a dam had burst! The only minor setback was Medicare saying he’d have to be blind for two years before they would pay for a cornea transplant. Well, that’s not too bad you might say but let me remind you, during these two years his corneas were continuing to deteriorate.

When I’m told to patiently wait on the Lord, I’m reminded that everything is in His time and not MY time. I wanted this blindness over and done with now not in two years, but we waited; sometimes patiently and sometimes not so much. By the time we finally received the Medicare we were comfortably accepting he may never be seeing again. Finding a doctor was a challenge because hubby wanted to listen to his mother and uncle when I was clearly pointing him in the right direction. But it took two refusals from other doctors for him to finally go to the doctor I picked in the very beginning.

The doctor was perfect, the transplant was perfect his sight was restored but his one eye was too far gone (thanks, medicare!) and he had to have it removed. A blessing, you ask, to lose an eye? Well, let me tell you, the good eye that received the cornea was being infected over and over because of the bad eye. Do you lose both eyes or lose one eye and keep the good one? Think about that. 

This is where the many, eight-hour round trips to Omaha were doing damage to my back. Sitting for hours, sometimes in high winds or thunderstorms and driving for eight hours with tiny stops, sometimes twice or three times a week did my back in and I lost my ability to walk normal. Was it worth it? I would do it over again in a heartbeat! The miracle of sight is more important than my petty walking ability.

His mother said she could make the trip to Omaha in two hours (remember she LIVES here in Nebraska and has made the trip NUMEROUS times) I’m a native Baltimorean coming from Texas and not used to HIGH winds and doing seventy-five miles per hour to somewhere I’ve never been. So, I let her take him one time and yeah, it took her about six hours. (not four)

The damage to my back was done; no return and I sometimes feel bitter when someone says, “Oh the problem was there all along.” Maybe it was but the long driving spells were what irritated my back enough to finally fail, and that’s the truth of the matter! I’ve lived it and we survived it and the miracle I’m still here and he is still seeing is a package of wrapped blessings with all the frilly bows and ribbons on top!

You could say that this was all coincidence that everything worked out the way it did but I’ve NEVER believed in coincidence. Everything down to the letter happened the way it was supposed to happen and for a reason. Miracles DO happen! I wait with patience to unravel the bows to see the reason although I have faith everything was for the best.

In the midst of heartache and heartbreak we can never see the reason for anything but once you stand back and look at the full picture instead of looking at an unsolved puzzle, you’ll see the beautiful landscape of truth and reason unfold into a blessed miracle.

Heb. 2:4 “God also bearing them witness, both with signs and wonders, and with divers miracles, and gifts of the Holy Ghost, according to his own will?”

The Puzzle

The Puzzle

***

Pieces all scattered about
not formed, it’s incomplete.
Each one has a perfect place
I strive with vain conceit.

The box shows an image
of abundant life and glory;
raging seas all on top
a flower bed of fury.

Colors clash as vibrancy
shakes the solid ground.
The puzzle wreaks redundancy
boisterous without a sound.

The silent spot of  me begins
to see the object form
I see a scene setting in
the puzzle of a storm.

Whirlwinds just like life
the waterspout meets sky.
My pain in life is all washed up
I never know just why.

Clearer now the image
is all said and done.
I’ll stand here now and wonder.
what happened to the sun!