I Need You To Know

Prov. 19: 20-21 (NLT) “Get all the advice and instruction you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life. You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.” 

This week I was emotionally hit by someone who told me what I need to do with my body. It was a supposed dear friend who knows what I am enduring with this diagnosis of a lifetime. He went on to tell me that God wants me to take care of my body and I'm being selfish not thinking of my loved ones by not going the slice, dice, and radiate route. I told him that the chemo route could only give me five years and he said it was better than five months. He feels the route I'm taking is limiting me to five months time?

I don't know personally how this person listens to God, but I know how I do and how God listens and hears me! Throughout this slightly traumatic event that this supposed friend put me through, God has reached out through scripture, placing what I need to see and hear in front of my eyes, in my email, or just by chance. I don't believe in coincidence so I know it is God who is giving me messages and not the enemy of attack! God had my dear friends come out in full force of support for me and I know each of them to be Godly Christians, not the twice-a-year Christian. So who will I listen to? Dear friends who God sends or a supposed friend who a month ago told me to go climb back under my rock because I'm not wrapped up in this materialistic world as the rest of the people? I think you know the answer to that.

Friends, let me tell you. I did not make this decision blindly or loosely. I'm not one of those people whose child is dying and I don't take him to the hospital because God is the almighty healer and will fix it all! No, I prayed first and foremost at the beginning (and I still do, just so you know.) God sent me on this path! He heard my prayer and understood so He agreed to be here for me no matter how bumpy and craggy the road got. No matter how many people jumped out in front of me to try and instill fear in me, God would handle them and me! I have not wavered in faith one time on this journey. People have but I have not and I will not apologize for my strength.

The person hit me below the belt. I'm still weak when it comes to opposition, and this opened a door of doubt and fear I wasn't ready for. But God swooped in via scripture and supportive friends to relieve any doubt and fear and has me once again embracing this journey. The person went on to tell me that if what I'm doing is not working I need to get to a doctor immediately. For one, how does he know if what I'm doing is or is not working and second of all, who is he to tell me what to do with MY body? Boy, that really got me unnecessarily riled up! When I need peace the most, I was hit with worry and stress. Interesting, isn't that usually what the enemy uses to attack with? 

Can I paint a scenario of what would happen if I chose the conventional route at ANY time during this illness? Chemo can 'maybe' give me five-to-ten years of life. After cutting me open, radiation, and scientifically known toxic drugs. Oops, they missed some of the yuks, cut me open again exposing the C-cells to air. Oops its spread, cut me open again to remove ovaries, oops it spread again, cut me open some more, remove my lung, my lymph nodes gone, my immune system shot. No fight left in my genetics or my spirit. The next ten years would be putting myself and my family through a chopping block of pain, literally! In and out of the hospital month after month with new trauma after new trauma only to watch me wither, crumble and die in hospice hooked to machines. In the five years of chopping me up, my 105 lb. weight dwindles to 60lbs. How is THAT selfish of me? I want to spare my husband and son that pain AND suffering!

That is exactly what happened to MANY members of my immediate family. They were not distant aunts and uncles. One was my grandmother, my dads' mother. One was my dad's sister and one was my mother's aunt. On both sides of my genetics, this scenario played out year after year with family members that I also didn't even know. I CHOSE not to be a victim of slice and dice. I found too numerous to count testimonies of people who SUCCESSFULLY went a different route! Why would I NOT try this? My family before me chose THEIR route, even though there was no internet of alternative routes available to them. They actually trusted their doctor and the numerous toxic drugs they put in their body. They all died!

Friends, it is inevitable that I am going to die. So are you. Granted we would all rather die later than sooner. We would all love to spare our loved ones the pain of losing us but when in history did that become our choice in when we die? NO ONE has chosen when they die except via suicide. I'm choosing to live as long as I possibly can, maintaining my health on a daily basis and that is more than I can say for a lot of folks who could care less about their health. But I'm the selfish bad guy for wanting to LIVE? Something is seriously wrong with that mentality. 

I can't guarantee that this route will be a success. A doctor can't guarantee chemo either. There are no guarantees in life! I don't want to leave my husband and son but THAT is not my choice! I just want to hold fast to my unwavering faith and show people that God reigns supreme in this world. The world is full of choices in life, many a matter of life and death, you live or you die. I choose God over man; life over death. You make your choices, I make mine unselfishly always putting God first! I may be wrong, I may be right but I know in my soul that eternal life is awaiting me. All praise and glory to God!

Pss. 27:3  "Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident."

*note: both scriptures in today's post were sent to me

by happenstance. Thank you, Lord! 

Food, Glorious Food!

Pss. 51:10 “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” 

Food Glorious Food!

Over the past four months, I’ve groaned, I’ve grumbled, I whined and complained all about… food!!! This week I went food shopping and hit a welcome relief to my shopping excursion; I left feeling good and not wanting to cry my eyes out over what I couldn’t eat or the unhealthy food choices available to me.

I think I’m finally coming to terms with this new healthy lifestyle! I challenge myself every day building my strength by cooking (unhealthy to ME) meals for my hubby and son. It doesn’t bother me and never has so why should food shopping, right? I think because, with food shopping, you’re smothered in opportunities of choices, good or bad.

I’m all about God working in mysterious ways and throw nothing, and I mean nothing to coincidence, I’ve never believed in coincidence and never will. I believe God has plans for each and ever little thing in our life and when ‘things’ happen that others call coincidence, I believe it was really God’s planning the seasons of our life.

Like the stationary bike I wrote about yesterday, God was planning all of those years ago for my hubby and me to benefit from that little piece of equipment. He was also in the planning stages for something else when my husband lost his job over a year ago. 

You see after my husband got his sight back, he had to get back into the workforce. I wrote about how, because of his blindness in one eye put him on the disabled list, his driving limitations were set on his license and he had to take a job that would work with those limitations, hence the minimum wage part time job at WalMart where he was a cart pusher for four years. Just a note: WalMart works with people with disabilities and gives them the opportunity to work, so before making fun of WalMart employees remember, that person just might have a disability you can neither see or hear.

After WalMart, he took a job at HyVee supermarket. This was a newly constructed high-end supermarket that apparently this small town needed even though there are numerous nostalgic, long time food markets in the area. HyVee is a food chain and even hubby’s aunt said they had one in South Dakota. HyVee would hire hubby as an online food shopper. I’ve mentioned before that my sweetheart is a shopaholic, so God placed him in a store where he could shop his heart out, for other people mind you, but still he’s an online food shopper.

HyVee is home to a coffee shop, a diner, a quick-stop gas station and an enormous array of good food; more expensive, as all healthy food is but the store is remarkable at catering to the health conscious of America. You wouldn’t think there was a need for online shoppers but HyVee is an employer to at least twelve online shoppers. How does online shopping work? You place your order online and people shop for you. You get it delivered to your house or pick your order up at the store. 

What I’m getting at here is, not a commercial for HyVee, but to show you how God was making plans all along for this illness of mine. You see, had hubby been working at WalMart, we would have never known the opportunities of healthy food sitting right across the road at HyVee! From fake noodles, grass fed chicken to cheese made from coconut milk, no dairy! That store caters to my needs at this very time.

With him being an online shopper, he knows where everything is in the store, what they sell, what’s on sale (they have GREAT sales BTW) what’s healthy and what’s not. As opposed to WalMart, this store actually has a host of organic fruits and vegetables! They have an entire corner of the store dedicated to the Health Market where there are gluten free, healthy organic processed foods! How awesome is that?!?!

You see, God had this alternative treatment route planned for me all along! The money we save on the unhealthy food I’m not eating goes toward the healthy, non-toxic food I CAN eat. So when I walk into the food store now, I no longer think of what I can’t have (I do still have small tweaks) I am getting better at accepting and enjoying all that I can eat and that is food, glorious healthy food!

Ephesians 4:22-24, “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” (NIV)

Nurturing The Seed Within

Pss. 72:7 "In his days shall the righteous flourish; and abundance of peace so long as the moon endureth."

People are going to ask, how do I nurture the seed within?

Well, I can only tell you what works for me. I think every individual is different and will react to His blessings differently as they begin to nurture, continue to feed, and discipline themselves to receiving all of the knowledge the Lord has to offer. Through good and bad, the seed is within you just waiting for the water so it can blossom.

If you think God handpicks the perfect in society, boy are you ever wrong. He doesn’t choose the most beautiful to guide, He doesn’t ask the strong to come to Him, He doesn’t want the saint that man appoints, nope, he wants the ugly, downtrodden, dirty muddy sinner. Why? Because He sees what is deep inside. If he knows every hair on your head, you can bet your bottom dollar he can see the mud built up on your feet from going barefoot for long walks at a time.

1 Sam. 16:7 (KJV) “But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.”

Going barefoot is like a man who never knew or wanted to know the likes of Christ. He’s washed his hands of everything to do with God and is living the life that he has planned for himself. You know what? That is the kind of man or woman that God has set His sights on even when you think there is nothing, there is something calling you to Him. You might not acknowledge the pull, but you know, deep in the night as you try and fall asleep, the stars are out there twinkling and you wonder.

You might think He’s washed His hands of you but I can assure you, God did not create us to dispose of us because we don’t fit His bill. No siree, God has his eyes on you when you think you’ve ridden yourself of Him. Even when you shun Him and don’t seek him he has landed his eye on you and is deep within you pulling you toward him, to an eternity with Him. 

Samuel chose David over all of Jesse’s sons, the ones who were taller, smarter and better looking for small little David who was out in the fields tending the sheep. Did God overlook David? No, he saw in him a King and that is what David would later become. 

If you read the book of Samuel you’ll see, David, the one who would one day be king, is the same boy who fought Goliath. Was it an easy task? Did he just walk up to him and say Boo, be gone? No, I do believe David struggled all of his life to be accepted by his family, fought to want to be included as a warrior but was overlooked by man and was tread upon and ground into the dirt but overcame a giant! HE was the one chosen by God.

This is the God I love and praise, One who sees me in all my tattered clothing, broken body, dry crinkly skin, He sees in me a King, so to speak. As I realize this, I begin ACTING like a king, in character and dignity and carrying myself for the entire world to see God IN me!

He sees something in each and every one of us no matter how small we think of ourselves, He’s choosing us to come to Him. That is how we nurture our Spirits. We fill our lives with everything God. From animals to plants, from flowers to trees, from the clouds to the moon, He is all, living in all and once you start seeing Him in everything you begin to want to know more and more about this God.

Does this mean He’ll heal you of your pains and illnesses? No, they’ll become bearable. Will He pay your high electric bill for you? No, but you’ll have the means to do it. You have to be willing to SEE the blessing instead of seeing a coincidence. Sometimes we have to sacrifice our WANTS for our NEEDS to be fulfilled. That right there is God working in you. You are important to Him. As with anything that is important to you, you take care of it, you nurture it until the seed becomes you, the you God intended. 

When you finally accept that science will never find Him or ‘prove’ Him and live with the faith that KNOWING Him is well enough for your soul, blessings and miracles fall like sparkling confetti and you see them and know they are from Him, the Him you didn’t even believe existed. May the Spiritual seed that God planted in you be nurtured until you bond together, grow, and flourish.

Praise be to God!

1 Samuel

Lent: Day Twenty-nine ~ Coincidence?

Pss. 104:2 Who coverest thyself with light as with a garment: who stretchest out the heavens like a curtain:

Coincidence?

Was it coincidence I was born on my mother’s birthday? Was it coincidence that has been the ruler in my life throughout the years? I can’t name ALL the things that people would deem ‘just coincidence’ but like ‘luck’, coincidence holds no weight with me.

I think people blame coincidence on things they can’t explain. God forbid should they think that the Almighty God reigns supreme in their life. Sure the great universe works in threads, threads that tie instances into happenings, weaving a blanket called life that covers you.

Nature plays a part too. Some call it Mother Nature I call it Father God. The only Great Spirit out there with a needle and thread is the Master Creator himself, God. There isn’t a slew of gods out there in the cosmos directing your paths. There is no Mother Nature or Father Time there is only One true God. Coincidence? I think not.

Now a lot of times people accept explanations of the scientific nature because they have been so absorbed with finding the truth (or proof) of a situation that they never find  real answers due to blindness. If you don’t believe in the trinity, you might not get my meaning.

God the Father is the Son and dwells in your life daily via the Holy Spirit. There it is, the word Spirit. In the bible it states, “No one comes to the Father, except through Me”, (John 4:16) Not believing in the Son of God as man flesh, you’ll never come to know the Holy Spirit and will always be searching for some great scientific truth whether it is in Astrology, Astronomy, prophets or religious leaders; you’ll search endlessly seeking some great Spirit all because you don’t want to accept God, Jesus and the HOLY Spirit.

It is not some grand coincidence that the world was formed. Not one ounce of coincidence knows you by name, knows the hairs on your head and calls you blessed. It is not by coincidence that we exist and seek continually to find an answer as to why we are here and where we go afterwards.

I love to think of us as a blanket put together one thread at a time making us all different but all part of the same blanket. Each seam brings us together and this is why people, certain people, enter your life. Whether through friendship or a divine draw that places you as a thread to make up ones blanket in life.

I am a part of your blanket as you are a part of mine. You read me so then you too become a thread tying together the quilt that makes for a comforter to cover you when you’re cold.

We are all part of the collective conscience that brings together two beings. God is the weaver of this blanket, Jesus is the thread that knits us into each others life, and the Holy Spirit is the warmth of energy we feel when relationships are formed. We become a blanket for each others soul connected by the One and only master Creator, not by coincidence.

If you are bound to trees, to animals, to love, to compassion then it is not a coincidence that we have met or have been woven together. God is the force that binds us together through the love of nature, animals and all things created. Did you ever wonder why we’re friends? God saw to it that our lives intertwined. He saw to it that we formed a square in the blanket.

Was it coincidence when Steven and I needed a place here in Nebraska, this house, totally affordable, was available? Was it coincidence that two years my man was blind and he finally got his sight back? Was it coincidence that found him a job that was willing to work around him not being able to drive in the dark? Was it coincidence that an affordable car was right there on the parking lot where he worked? Was it coincidence that two weeks later his truck would be totaled and he’d walk away without a scratch?

I think I have the secret to what people call ‘luck’, I have the key that will open the door on the mystery of coincidence and it is simply defined as blessings. If blessings don’t fill your cup to overflowing then you believe in coincidence. If you do not feel rich beyond all meaning (and I don’t mean money) then you are wrapped in the belief of luck.

My cup over flows, I’m rich beyond all measure, and my Spirit is filled with the love of God! I am a part of a blanket that is here to offer you warmth. My friends, we are one with the Spirit of Christ. Whether you believe that it is just a coincidence that we met, I’m here to tell you, there is no such thing as coincidence.

God be with you all!

Pss. 91: 4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.

Isa. 3:1 Woe to the rebellious children, saith the LORD, that take counsel, but not of me; and that cover with a covering, but not of my spirit, that they may add sin to sin:

 

 

Mere Coincidence

Coincidence? Serendipity? Fate?

Is it coincidence that we write what we know? I always find myself writing about subjects that I’m familiar with. Whether it is spirituality, the cosmic world or plants and animals; I’m always writing what is familiar to me.

Even names for my characters are chosen because I find myself accustomed to them. Places I’ve been and explored all come out in my writing. But I have to say, some of my writing has had a psychic aura to them.

I’ve written a story (which I’m revising but not changing any of the premonitory factors.) My character winds up in Broken Bow Nebraska after her husband passes away. I wrote this story, all thirty three chapters of it, three years ago. I’m finding so many similarities now in my present life, I’m wondering if it was all coincidence or a precognitive thought that I relayed into a story.

I was living in Texas (after separating from my husband), but now I’m in Nebraska, extremely close to Broken Bow. (you’ll have to read the haunting story of Angel when it gets published.) I was going to title it Mere Coincidence but changed my mind and I think I’m going with Crossroads. But after realizing how much coincidence lies within the pages, it might just be titled Mere Coincidence.

When we write, we do our research, we create new characters and we forge ahead with a story. It can become quite ironic when your story begins to correlate to your real life. I try not to write too much of my real life in a fictional tale but little slithers of my life will filter through into my characters or incidence's in my life will weave their way in and out of my story like a car in traffic.

I envy people who can write about pioneer times when they have no concrete physical knowledge of the times; only what was read about or learned. I read these tales with great interest and I’m always wondering what experience the author had with the story they wrote. Sometimes it’s a story handed down from generation to generation and sometimes it’s just a matter of really good researching.

Stephen King, as you may have already guessed is one of my favorite author’s, is also a writer whose life slips into his stories. He may deny it, but when I read “On Writing”, I saw the similarities of many of his characters well defined in people and places in his life. Even though Castle Rock Maine is a fictional town, it is no coincidence it is in Maine, his home state!

My point in all this being, write what you know and what you don’t know. Someday, what you thought you didn’t know may become an experience that you’re all too familiar with and you’ve written about it before hand and are now “in the know.”

Did that make sense?

Of course it did. If it didn’t, it will one day. :-)