The Bombardment: Doubt and Fear

Baltimore, Maryland - Fort McHenry

The Star Spangled Banner was written out there

Pss. 57:6 “They have prepared a net for my steps; my soul is bowed down: they have digged a pit before me, into the midst whereof they are fallen themselves. Selah.”

This week and last week I’ve been hit with a bombardment of emotions. I’d wake in the morning to tears, look out the window and all I saw was a dense fog, so deep there was no seeing a light, a blade of dead grass or even a winterized tree, just deep snow packed lawn, fields and a mist.

It all began as a flurry of uncertainty the minute I accepted chemo as a way to heal this crud. If you all have been with me throughout this ordeal you’ll know I’m dead set against chemo (no pun intended) as this being any form of healing. I see chemo as a death sentence and I can’t get past this unnerving grating feeling deep inside me.

At the beginning of this trial, the only family member I told was my niece. She was the only one I trusted to care. My hubby told his family also. I had expected care and compassion to crawl out of the woodwork but say the words ‘alternative’ to a conservative nation, you’re going to be met with a bombardment of questions and doubts and a sort of wall to be built that you’re not allowed over. All negativity I tried to avoid came creeping in, in unexpected ways! 

Here I am two years into this affliction and I’ve grown and have learned so much! My diet was never bad, I’ve been 125 -135 pounds since I was in my twenties. I didn’t keep that weight because I pigged out on all the wrong foods with no exercise. No, I pretty much cared for my health until about five years ago when living in a carnivorous world finally caught up to me. All the meat and potatoes could not be excreted quick enough with exercise, that’s for sure! But two years ago, with this diagnosis, I dove into research on natural treatments and possible cures for one of the deadliest diseases that in over one-hundred years has found no CURE! 

I found that a plant-based diet and supplementation could be the secret to healing and in two years, I’ve witnessed the success of MANY women going this route. No surgery, no chemo, no drugs, just the fruits of the earth to replenish their damaged body. I tried that route and was succeeding until last year when my world came crashing down. I realized I needed more than the food and supplements to get through this and it was the only reason I tried Oral Chemo.

What I was not expecting is finding a doctor I liked (finally) and being met with lies and fear tactics. The first doozy came in the way of telling me I should focus on the tumor/lesion on my brain. “OOPS, I must’ve been reading the wrong file, sorry.” There was no tumor, that was just a fear tactic to get me to jump into chemotherapy! Then there were the months he told me my markers were going down when in FACT they were rising! 

Assuming once again I’d jump into chemo, “Stop taking your meds, they’re not working!” 

I stopped taking my meds, I didn’t jump into chemo, then the disease started gnawing at my bones! I could FEEL it, chomping and weakening me. Doc says, “Now start taking your meds again until we get in here and get the poison in your veins to fight the battle.” 

All of the hard work I did at building up my strength in physical therapy was dwindling. I at one time was the champ of the place, meeting and exceeding my goals but just yesterday I came home and could hardly bend my knee. I climbed into bed and wrapped ice packs at different parts of my leg.

Last week I hit rock bottom. Feeling isolated and alone. Everyone seemingly has abandoned me except for my husband, son, my Physical Therapists and my loving Spiritual Online family. They are my anchors in getting me through this. Whether it’s through faith, religion, or just a positive presence, these people are the ones I’ll credit with any healing that takes place!  

I’ll be the first to admit, in all honesty, I even felt like God bailed on me. I’m just dangling on the end of this thread and it’s about to snap but luckily I’m grotesquely underweight that even a thread can hold me. Doubt and fear knocked on my door and like a fool, I let it walk right on in. 

I fear the chemo won’t work. I doubt that it is the cure all I seek. The doctor tells me of a lady who has been on Herceptin for TWENTY YEARS, and she’s still alive. And I’m supposed to find hope in that? I don’t! I will not be on this poison for one year let alone ten or twenty. That’s ridiculous! I’m concerned that the chemo, as I’ve read in all of my research, will destroy my immune system. For two years I have worked to build up my immune system! As I watch friends get sick month after month with a cold, flu, and any other illness, I’ve been the picture of health except for this one debilitating illness. I actually care about living and work my tail off to secure my strong immunity, now is chemo going to come in and destroy all I worked to build up? Am I going to lose MORE weight? How much can this tiny frail body take?

Again, feeling abandoned, I prayed. In the wee hours of the morning, for hours, I prayed. I woke to this message:

Prov. 13:12 (ESV) “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” 

That is exactly what happened with all the talk about chemo. It brought in negativity that I didn’t know how to deal with. I’ve shunned negativity for so long when it beats me over the head, I think it’s personal and wants to fight. I think that’s the city girl in me, always ready to battle. Chemo knocked all my hope out the door. 

So what is my desire? To live! I don’t want to live until I’m ninety, but a good seventy-five - eighty would be nice. There’s my hope, right there! 

The realization of HAVING to go the chemo route is this. My diet and exercise can only save so much of me. I live within one-hundred yards of a substation, an element that cannot be removed from this healing equation. Move? Not an option, it’s Nebraska, substations are a part of life. Money would help too, then I could move. Then there are crop dusters, dropping poison on the crops to save the crop from bugs while damaging humans in the process. Such is life, I’m surrounded by fields and fields of crop dusters. I also have dealt with black mold for the ten years here. Then there is the chronic illness I’ve had all of my life and that is psoriasis. Sure supplementation has put it to sleep over the years but I do deal with flare-ups on occasion. 

I’ve been back on my plant-based diet for about three weeks now. I will continue exercising as long as my broken body and weakened limbs allow. I'll continue to meditate and pray. I’ll waltz down the organic route, the non-chemical use of body lotions and sprays, shampoos and soaps. I’ll pursue doing my part of the healing, God will do His part in protecting me, and my family will continue doing what they do, live in a toxic world right along with me.

I will wake every day and see hope in the hopeless. I will pound through these doubts and fears. Next week will come and instead of tears, I will hold hope instead of kleenex. A smile in place of a frown. Joy instead of sorrow.  I heard yesterday someone say that the simplest form of bravery is choosing to wake and take a step. How true is that?

May God bless you all in the steps that you choose to take.

Winding Down... A Grand Finale

“The one who gets wisdom loves life; the one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper.” Proverbs 19:8 (NIV)

This might be one of those 'must read' posts as I wind down my blog. I've gone on hiatus many times over the years but this one is timely and essential as I need to continue healing. 

It all began back in 2005 when I started this blog, the posts didn't really feel right so I deleted the lame posts from 2005 and 2007. Then in 2008, it took off and I started getting followers and meeting other bloggers, some whom I am still friends with to this day on Facebook. It was a writing blog. A writer helping fellow writers follow their dreams as I too followed my dream of becoming a writer all the while sharing my love of God. 

Some liked that I spoke of God and I'm sure some were turned away by it, but those who liked it became my friends on Facebook, getting to know me on a more personal level. I don't remember the year the transition happened, the blog name went from One Voice, Write Right to Joni's Muse: The Poet Within. I know the transition happened at a time I was being called on every typo, misspelling and faux pas of my writing posts so I no longer felt like a reliable writing source to my fellow writers. It was no big deal, I'm a writer and we need to take criticism but sometimes, people are not gentle in their critique and even unintentionally downright hurt you!

I turned my writing muse to God and all that He's done for me. I didn't strive for grammar perfection, I just wanted to share my life story and all that I've learned over the years. No one could critique my story because it was/IS mine! My life, MY wounds, MY scars that I was sharing! People liked reading my story because I had an edge of reality, a blunt truth that not many people are willing to go into the depths of their soul and share. I shared over the years parts of my past that some would have rather kept buried but I brought it to light. I needed healing in my writing and releasing all the past wounds really helped me to find an inner peace. 

My blood family has no interest in my story. It is not their story but when I'm gone and they look over the truth, I'm sure they'll sit in shock that my story of the dysfunctional life I LIVED, is out there for the world to see. Not that the world reads my blog but many will reread all that they missed. While they [family] are back east living the life of caged emotions I am moving on and healing, not giving their lost love a second thought.

Then something happened in 2017 on the road to discovery, an illness to beat all illnesses wrapped around my body and carried me to a cave where I needed reflection and time to think just what all of this meant. I lost quite a few of what I thought were dear friends because I'm not a conventional gal by any means and they are smothered in conventional life, treatment, diagnosis, and illnesses. They live and breathe conventional where I breathe freely the air of truth that I'm given. I may be on my own with a few dear friends, my spiritual family, that have stayed with me and encourage and believe in the path I've chosen because they know, it wasn't MY choice it was the path that God chose for me. Who is anyone to judge another person's path? Whether right or wrong, it is their path, no one else's.

While I hurt over the abandonment, I see that maybe the ones who left were not really true friends and I've become okay with that. I've been alone most of my life anyway (yes with God by my side) and I'm used to not being the accepted one. Shoot, I didn't get bullied because I was Miss Popular! Then there is this year, the year of uncertainty. I'm healing, I'm moving on but from the outside world I sense fear and doubt that I can't handle on a daily basis. I don't feel many people understand what having an extra sense has caused me throughout my lifetime. People laugh and scoff in disbelief and I'm okay with that too. My own sister used to call it, 'that thing' that Joni has. She knew the extra sense existed but was never sure what to call 'that thing' that I have.

With the advent of change -- via Facebook (snooze, unfollow, and many more) options, Blogspot with their not sending my comments to my email and the ad thing from the European Union? along with not allowing 'followers' anymore, and my hits going from the 50-70 range down to the 10-20 range; everything is changing and I need to change right along with the times, it is calling me to change. 

We're also coming to a dim period of having to put my fourteen-year-old dog to sleep. It's a difficult decision for any family and this will surely keep me in my room crying for a spell. Change is coming on a personal level and a worldwide level whether anyone wants to believe it or not. I'm done listening to people who say memes annoy but then post their own. I'm tired of people not knowing a typo from a grammar mistake. I'm tired of everyone finding fault with everyone else but won't look in the mirror at their own faults. I'm also pained by watching a world silently killing themselves on drugs and toxic eating without a care to LIFE and living and making excuses for why they are the way they are.

I won't be alone. I have a strong faith and belief in God and we'll walk together on this journey and wherever we wind up will be by His grace and His alone. Just know, I AM healing and the journey IS moving right along as God has planned. I may continue to post poetry and pics, but my sharing days are done. I need me time for a bit. You all have the grace of God carrying you and may you all pace yourself where an inner healing takes place.  I pray my work for God was well received and that one person, because of my words, was changed in some way. I love you all!

Angel Always...Godspeed, my friends

Psalm 61:2-3, “From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety, for you are my safe refuge, a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me.” (NLT)

The Branch

I crawl out on the lonely branch, 

that can't sustain my weight. 

I try to creep so still in thought, 

reflecting on my fate. 

Up on top this tree so tall, 

I find a quiet place. 

Still are sounds that whistle through, 

the leaves a patient pace. 

What is this that breaks my thought, 

I’m not alone anymore? 

The presence is surrounding me; 

it haunts my very core. 

No longer alone, my thirst is quenched, 

my essence fed by might. 

Surrounded by the stillness of, 

the Radiant Branch of Light.

Nurturing The Seed Within

Pss. 72:7 "In his days shall the righteous flourish; and abundance of peace so long as the moon endureth."

People are going to ask, how do I nurture the seed within?

Well, I can only tell you what works for me. I think every individual is different and will react to His blessings differently as they begin to nurture, continue to feed, and discipline themselves to receiving all of the knowledge the Lord has to offer. Through good and bad, the seed is within you just waiting for the water so it can blossom.

If you think God handpicks the perfect in society, boy are you ever wrong. He doesn’t choose the most beautiful to guide, He doesn’t ask the strong to come to Him, He doesn’t want the saint that man appoints, nope, he wants the ugly, downtrodden, dirty muddy sinner. Why? Because He sees what is deep inside. If he knows every hair on your head, you can bet your bottom dollar he can see the mud built up on your feet from going barefoot for long walks at a time.

1 Sam. 16:7 (KJV) “But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.”

Going barefoot is like a man who never knew or wanted to know the likes of Christ. He’s washed his hands of everything to do with God and is living the life that he has planned for himself. You know what? That is the kind of man or woman that God has set His sights on even when you think there is nothing, there is something calling you to Him. You might not acknowledge the pull, but you know, deep in the night as you try and fall asleep, the stars are out there twinkling and you wonder.

You might think He’s washed His hands of you but I can assure you, God did not create us to dispose of us because we don’t fit His bill. No siree, God has his eyes on you when you think you’ve ridden yourself of Him. Even when you shun Him and don’t seek him he has landed his eye on you and is deep within you pulling you toward him, to an eternity with Him. 

Samuel chose David over all of Jesse’s sons, the ones who were taller, smarter and better looking for small little David who was out in the fields tending the sheep. Did God overlook David? No, he saw in him a King and that is what David would later become. 

If you read the book of Samuel you’ll see, David, the one who would one day be king, is the same boy who fought Goliath. Was it an easy task? Did he just walk up to him and say Boo, be gone? No, I do believe David struggled all of his life to be accepted by his family, fought to want to be included as a warrior but was overlooked by man and was tread upon and ground into the dirt but overcame a giant! HE was the one chosen by God.

This is the God I love and praise, One who sees me in all my tattered clothing, broken body, dry crinkly skin, He sees in me a King, so to speak. As I realize this, I begin ACTING like a king, in character and dignity and carrying myself for the entire world to see God IN me!

He sees something in each and every one of us no matter how small we think of ourselves, He’s choosing us to come to Him. That is how we nurture our Spirits. We fill our lives with everything God. From animals to plants, from flowers to trees, from the clouds to the moon, He is all, living in all and once you start seeing Him in everything you begin to want to know more and more about this God.

Does this mean He’ll heal you of your pains and illnesses? No, they’ll become bearable. Will He pay your high electric bill for you? No, but you’ll have the means to do it. You have to be willing to SEE the blessing instead of seeing a coincidence. Sometimes we have to sacrifice our WANTS for our NEEDS to be fulfilled. That right there is God working in you. You are important to Him. As with anything that is important to you, you take care of it, you nurture it until the seed becomes you, the you God intended. 

When you finally accept that science will never find Him or ‘prove’ Him and live with the faith that KNOWING Him is well enough for your soul, blessings and miracles fall like sparkling confetti and you see them and know they are from Him, the Him you didn’t even believe existed. May the Spiritual seed that God planted in you be nurtured until you bond together, grow, and flourish.

Praise be to God!

1 Samuel

Weather the Storm

Pss.148:8 “Fire, and hail; snow, and vapour; stormy wind fulfilling his word:”

Many many people go through trials and tribulations but not everyone handles the storm they’re passing through in a graceful manner. I’ve been through too many storms to count but always I try to hold my head up in optimism and trudge through the blaring winds that season my face.

I don’t allow the storms to break me instead I let them build me up into a stronger being. By writing about my storms, I share with you the fact that not all storms are damaging. Take for instance Friday when my hubby came home from work and told me he lost his job. Granted it wasn’t a great job to begin with but it was a job. 

Him being ‘disabled’, blind in one eye and limited driving, he has to take what he can get which makes finding a job pretty challenging for him. He’ll never be able to go back to the forty-hour workweek like he had when we lived in Texas and he worked for UPS on the high-income end of the tax bracket. No, since he went blind for two and a half years it humbled us beyond measure. We took on a new way of living. 

We normally take on storms like brushing hair out of our eyes; we just whip them away and move onto the next challenge. That’s how we roll. This time is no different; I didn’t shatter into a million pieces nor did he when he was ‘let go’ to put it mildly.

I twiddled my thumbs anticipating the anxiety he must have felt being the breadwinner of the household. Since I’m disabled, can’t work and can barely take care of the household things that need to be done around here, of course I wondered what his next course of action would be in this matter.

Monday he was online filling out applications and Tuesday he received a call for an interview on Wednesday and Wednesday found him at the job interview and it ending with ‘come in Sunday to train’!!! Wow, talk about a storm passing over! Praise God!

There are drawbacks but none my man can’t handle. It’s not a lot of hours but he can’t put in more than 30 with his limited driving. He can’t drive in the dark and cannot exceed a sixty-mile radius, which really puts him for whatever job is out there in the Kearney area that is willing to work his limitations into their schedule. I know with summer months we get more daylight but many won’t work around him to satisfy their job requirement. 

It really stinks being limited but hey, living in the midst of a storm constantly is a learning experience not too many could handle. We weather these storms wrapped in God’s loving arms and just when you think it is settling down, WHAM another storm.

“Life is not about waiting for the storm to PASS, it’s learning to DANCE in the rain!”

I wonder why a candle with that quote is prominently displayed on my table? Because I love dancing in the rain. When God tosses a storm my way, I don’t run and hide under an umbrella, I let the rain roll down my cheeks, I let the wind blow through my hair, I sometimes tremble at the ferocity of the lightning but then I still, dance in the rain.

God’s like that sometimes, He tosses storms your way to see how you’ll handle what He throws at you. You either become a testimony for His greatness or you hid under a rock, the choice is always your own.

Isa. 25:4 “For thou hast been a strength to the poor, a strength to the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm, a shadow from the heat, when the blast of the terrible ones is as a storm against the wall.”

God calls us to DO His work

^ BigStock photo ^

Rev. 3:15-16 I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

God calls us to do His work

Have you ever woken up on a cold brisk morning, felt the comfort of the warm soft blankets surrounding you wishing you could rest for the day right where you are? Sure  you have. Nobody feels like waking up and embracing the cold, getting wet, or facing yet another back-breaking day at work. Rest, you just want rest.

We work because we have to; it puts food on our table, a roof over our head and gets us to the next day where we do it over and over again. Kinda mundane isn’t it, but you get rewarded with food, warmth and comfort. The necessities of life are what carry you through your day-to-day life. Without them you’d be homeless, right? Day after day you trudge along, reaping the rewards, sometimes the smallest of rewards but you know your work at the end of the day was worth all the toil and trouble.

Here lies the difference between a mere believer and a Christian/follower of Christ; a believer believes, has faith and reads his/her bible. A Christian is one who works for God, strives to be Christ-like, and WORKS to be a better person. A believer wakes up, eats, takes a nice hot shower, goes to work, comes home, eats, and rests knowing he paid his dues to society.

Isa. 2: 8 Their land also is full of idols; they worship the work of their own hands, that which their own fingers have made:

A Christian wakes each day and glorifies God. He/she begins their workday for God. “Lord do with me what you will,” they say. Whether in the workplace where every person surrounding them becomes an opportunity to shower them with God and do His work; He’s in the boxes you stock on shelves, He’s pushed out in the inkjet printer you use, He is the guide at your fingertips as you type. God is everywhere to a Christian!

Sunday arrives. We did our work throughout the week and Sunday arrives in flaming fire! There may be no sun but it arrives; it is our day of rest. Do we sit at home on Sunday because it is the day of rest, no, we go out in numbers and worship the God who gave us a fruitful week.

Jer. 7: 13 And now, because ye have done all these works, saith the LORD, and I spake unto you, rising up early and speaking, but ye heard not; and I called you, but ye answered not;

A Christian doesn’t attend church to show everyone, “Look at me, I’m here. Look at my new shiny shoes. I wore my new dress. Hey, look at me!”

No siree, a Christian wakes on Sunday, puts on his jeans (possibly from the dirty laundry) puts on his/her tee-shirt, same old sneakers they’ve worn all week to the work place then heads off to visit his family and worship with them sharing their love of God.

You might say, “What? You go to church looking like THAT?”

I might say, “Does God care what I wear? If the people there are judging me for my clothes, they NEED to be there, to learn the Truth! God doesn’t care what you wear! He cares that you’re THERE!”

To a Christian, a church is a family of Christ. You might rejoice in another building in another state, but to you, your brothers and sisters are rejoicing in a building somewhere out there praising the same God that you praise. The believers are sitting at home, tucked under their covers awaiting the sun to shine in their window so they can trudge on yet another mundane day. “I wake, I have faith, I read, I believe.” Such an empty life.

A Christian has a spirit-filled, God-filled life to live. Sunday is our payday, our reward for all of our work we did throughout the week. We get to celebrate the day by rejoicing in all the blessings the Lord bestowed upon us throughout the week with our family, our brothers and sisters and most importantly, with our Father!

Can you imagine a Buddhist calling himself a Buddhist but never doing the work of a Buddhist? Can you imagine calling yourself a Jehovah’s Witness, never doing the work required to BE a Jehovah’s Witness? Then why do Christians call themselves Christians when they don’t feel the need to do the Lord’s work for Him?

Rom. 16: 18 For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple.

Did you know that upon doing a word search of the word WORK, there are 964 entries in the Bible? Why is that? Because it is asked of ALL Christians (not just some of us) to do the Lord’s work. He calls to us, we are honored to act.

Pastor said something like this, “Do you know why the atheist are gaining strength in society; Because people calling themselves Christians don’t look Christ-like. They are demeaning a faith by their gossip, drinking, cursing and sinning.”

Even churches across the world are separated; teaching/preaching one thing then doing another and it confuses those who are seeking the One true living God. Yes atheist are searching for SOMEthing to believe in. Believers are searching too, but they sit at home forming their own truth.

Let me ask you this. Back when Jesus came into the world, do you think people sat at home in the comfort of their beds, READING the Bible or did they wake, embrace the cold or heat and walk miles and miles to HEAR the gospel, from the Messiah who was delivering the message? They sat around in groups of listeners, thus forming the first Christian Church, becoming the first Christians.

Jesus is the CHURCH that they went to for comfort, a message of hope, of promise, of everlasting love. They couldn’t get THAT from their safety net called home. They LIVED for Christ, strived to be like Christ, sinners were now accepted in Christ.

Jesus chose sinners to carry on His work. But He DID require them to WORK. Yes you are saved by the blood of Christ, but remember that blood was at a cost, Jesus’ LIFE on the cross. HE did that for you, what do YOU do for Him?

As you seek out to BE a Christian, don’t demean the name of Christ and Christianity. Call yourself a ‘believer’. When you seek out a church that delivers Jesus’ message, and you listen intently as the Truth of the Word washes over you and is filling your soul and you praise the Man that died for you, when you LIVE for Christ, not sin, THEN call yourself a Christian.

“On Christ the solid Rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand…all other ground is sinking sand.” ~ a Sunday worship song

Are you standing on the Rock or on sinking sand? Think about it. I think about it everyday; and I’m STILL not done my work for Him.

Praise His Holy name!

Rom. 8: 28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Col. 2:6 As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him:

To be continued…

Links, Files, Writing! Oh my!

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
~Scott Adams

In the world of writing there are many useful toys in our body of arsenal that we use on a daily basis. I myself like links! Links to many different writing sites to where I can stick them in my favorites file and thank goodness for a history link in my browser because if I begin something on Monday, surf through some sites, get busy doing something else by Wednesday, I can check my history and find the sites that I was perusing and all is right with the world.

Unless your a delete freak who deletes the history daily. Sure, deleting the history on a weekly basis keeps your machine running smoothly but does doing it daily really need to happen? I’m not as young as I used to be (well, are any of us really?) and by Wednesday, I forget where it was on the net that I was reading from and doing my research on. I need the history intact! I need the history button to let me know where on Monday I visited, to get information, so on Wednesday, I can finish what I started!

Now if you live in a household on a shared computer, I can see why when you accidentally type into the google search, Naked Asian Women, you might want to delete THAT, but seriously, you, the writer, need to inform the other users of the computer to leave your writing links history intact or you’re going to be faced with a challenge of a research do-over.

I started this post on Monday, all my links were deleted so I had no idea what I was researching. I often go to writing sites because I’ll be reading about the structure of a story, or outlining a novel, and I’ll start tapping at the keys with an idea for a blog post. But when the history is deleted, all my ideas went with it and I have to start over.

I was going to do a blog about this being National Audio book Month, but lo and behold, my links were deleted, I lost my train of thought of where I was going to take the post, and I wound up scrapping the idea altogether. We writers are not image searchers. We don’t surf through pages and pages of images in hopes we don’t get snagged by the nudity bug. We search through words! Writing words and anything to do with writing. Now I have fallen upon sites with picture writing prompts, but that is not for me. I am a woman of substance who hangs on the written word.

What am I trying to relay in this post? Hold onto your writing links for at least a week. Delete around them if you must; if you’re hiding something or unscrupulously doing nasty searches of the Geisha Girls on Mars, by all means delete them from the computer, because many-a-times along with the nasties, comes a virus or spy into your computer that eats all your hard work anyway! But the writing links, leave intact so you’re already fried brain knows exactly what it had in mind, and where it was going!

*DEEP SIGH* Did you get all that? Good. Now get back to writing, researching, and hold onto those links! They DO help you as a writer.

FUN!

The worth of a book is to be measured by what you can carry away from it.
~James Bryce

***

In my writing, sometimes I can be so dramatic as to lose sight of what I’m writing. An outline is good in those instances, but my fun comes when I just sit down, free write and have fun doing it.

A lot of my poems just flow from me like one of those rivers that are at peak capacity? When my words come across as dark, dreary and depressing, or redundant and quite annoying, then usually my life is in a silent whirlpool vortex that spills words out like gum balls from a broken machine.

You notice that the gum balls scatter all over the place, like my words, and you look at all the pretty colors, like the imagery in a poem, and you want to pick each and every one of the gum balls up, like the work of tightening my poem. Then you realize that it is fine the way it is and is a little obscure so that the reader has to figure out the meaning.

I like to think my readers are intelligent, so I give them words that they have to sort of disassemble. Their minds have to think on the profundity of the subject at hand. Not that I want them confused as the poem strikes them upside the head, but I want them to think, “What is in this woman’s mind!” I want the poem to reach inside their mind and become  a tornado of thoughts and a hurricane of explosion.

Just as a short story should leave you wondering in awe of the fluid beauty of it’s delivery, poetry has to become that same form of delivery. I don’t hit my mark with everything I write and that is what we writer’s need to take into consideration when being the pizza man for readers. We need to allow the reader to call us up, (picking the book up) and we need to give them great service (delivery of a good story) and make sure they inhale all that we offer (our words, not the pizza.) ;)

Now isn’t that what writing is all about? Fun? Well you know you can write, have fun AND eat pizza, but please know, it could get messy on the keyboard. Now, where was I? FUN. That’s what writing is! I’ve been told I have wit, wisdom AND beauty and that is what I intend to carry to my work. But most importantly have fun doing it, or the work will come off as forced.

Now what are you going to do??? Write? Eat some pizza and have some fun! :) Go get ‘em!

Labor Day

“When pure sincerity forms within, it is outwardly realized in other people's hearts.”
-Lao Tzu

They say it is Labor Day, but why do they give people the day off? That’s not labor.
 

Labor Day, the first Monday in September, is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country.
 

If it is to recognize the achievements of American workers, why does Canada, and Non-American workers, get off of work?
 

I think holidays are just a way for the government to get a paid holiday for themselves. Holidays are a time for cookouts, get together's and fun with family. I had a great time with Stevens family yesterday and today do I get the day off? Not at all, I’m tapping on the keys and segueing into a post.
 

We have to be prepared. Labor Day might be for the workers of this world who need recognition of their labors and work, whereas for me, I will work my tail off this day in honor of LABOR!
 

I need to announce the next f2k session, which will be rolling around real soon, October 6th, and I’ll write more this week. F2k is the FREE Writing course that Writer’s Village University offers. Yes, it is FREE, and it is a seven week course that leads you into the labor of writing. If you’re a pro, the class offers a refresher in the basics. If you’re a new writer, then it offers you a chance to see if you have what it takes to BE a writer.
 

Writing is a laborious job. Some people enter class thinking they can whiz through because what, writing is easy? It’s a hard job that takes a lot of thought, persistence and patience that pays off in rewards beyond your imagination.
 

So on this Labor Day, take a moment to register to write. Take the initiative and give yourself the journey that keeps on giving. You WILL NOT gain entry until October 6th, but we do have a Social Scene set up (similar to facebook) that allows one and all a chance at viewing the format. Look for Writers Village University on facebook, we have  a page loaded with info and friends you might already know. :)
 

Have a wonderful day. Don’t stop working just because ‘man’ has given you a holiday. Persist! Work! Live!

I LOVE my job!

Matt. 25:15 And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey.
***

“What? You got a job?”

“Well...”

“But that’s great, you got a job!”

The truth be told, my job is writing. Like it or not. My job is writing.

“Now that Adam is off at school you can go out and find something.”

“Find something? I’ve been working my tail off educating myself, volunteering, networking, getting my name out there, and you what? Want me to quit this job?”

“Does it pay?”

“It WILL!”

“But it’s not going to put food on your plate.”

“I’ll let the Lord worry about my food, shelter, life.”

How many times has a conversation like that been broached. So often I could hurl chunks! I mean, really!

Many many years ago (almost 25 to be exact) when I gave up drugs and alcohol (remember, I grew up in the city. There was no other life except the dark route) I took the initiative, embraced God and moved forward in my life. God had a job for me. Me? Little ol me? Yes!

He said, “Make a difference in people’s lives, change one person at a time. Take care of people, shower them with love, let them know that I AM.” Big job for a little lady. I was twenty-one at the time and people thought I was crazy. God didn’t talk to them, so what made me so special? I’ll tell you. I gave my LIFE for Him! Literally. The old me died and a new one was born.

I set out on a mission to help people in any way I could, often NEVER getting paid one red cent, and many times working in 104 degree heat for one dollar, because to a woman of 100, that was all she could pay. I did it all with grace and enjoyed my work for the Lord.

Then one day, after about 15 years had passed, when I didn’t think I was doing my job to the fullest, He said, “Use the talent I gave you. Change one person at a time.” Me? Here again, lil ol me is suppose to change people with my talent? Oh...I get it.

I dove into my talent. He provided the computer, free of charge, He provided my growth, my initiative and onto the world I went, with my writing talent, to change the world, one person at a time.

I’ve never felt like I was letting Him down. Onward and upward my mission for the Lord goes on, without skipping a beat. He provides the people needed, He helps me to shower them in a light they may have otherwise overlooked and He embraces me in full glory. Wow!

Now that Adam is in school, I feel pressured into getting a job. You know, to help pay the bills, to make ends meet, to let society know “I’m a worker!” Well guess what? I asked God again as satan is approaching me with flames of fire, “Should I get a job?”

His words, “You have a job. You work for ME!”

I don’t expect anyone to understand this concept. This is a hard part of FAITH that many cannot grasp. I put all of my faith in Him who provides every step of the journey, who puts food in my mouth and shelters me from raging storms. I have the faith that He will carry me and mine through the darkest of days. I will hold my head high and move on in a blaze of Glory.

I love my job.

Are YOU a Writer?

Work like a Horse!

I know a lot of people would like to be writer. They sit and tap on the keys or write with the Neanderthal pen and paper, but is what you write consistent with what publishers want?

I am a poetic person so when I write, my language can be very full of imagery. The water doesn’t just glimmer in my eyes it sparkles with an effervescence of lucidity. Punctuation is another key factor to keep an eye out for. Never take it for granted that YOU know what is right or wrong when writing that short story or article.

I have a friend in Helsinki who does short articles for the newspaper there, and when she asks me to look at her work, I have to remember that the requirements are for ENGLISH not American English. There is a difference. In English form (and Canadian) I may labour all the live long day. But in proper American English, I labor all the live long day.

To the left of this blog, What a Writer Need’s you will find an extremely helpful link to your GRAMMAR. Guide to Grammar & Writing AND Grammar Slammer. They are helpful in that they give you some idea of where and WHEN to use a comma properly, when to hyphenate, and when NOT to over-hyphenate. In the blog world, many people are reading what you write, but is what you’re saying making any sense to the reader? Do you do a spell-check to make sure you don’t look like a first grade student

The internet is over populated with acronyms but to become a successful writer the acronyms have to be tossed out the window. You want to be taken seriously so show some professionalism and do your homework before you begin writing your blog.

Now don’t go picking out all of my horrendous grammar mistakes because we ALL make them. A blog is the best place to make them. But in the real world of publishing (the ink, paper and pen field) your grammar expertise is a welcome sight to an editor.

The world can be seen through many windows, preferably you allow your reader to see through a clear window instead of the fog-laden murky window. As changes in the atmosphere causes changes in the weather, so does the changes in people reflect a change in style of writing. But one thing has remained and that would be proper etiquette of the written word.

To be taken seriously, don’t let someone else do your work for you. Achieve your dream by striving to be the best you can be. In a world of turmoil be a voice of the future. Lead one person down the path of enlightenment, write about it to the best of your ability and take pride in all that you do! One day…all your hard work will pay off!