The Road Less Traveled

 2 Cor. 10:17 “But he that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.” 

The Road Less Traveled

Out here where I live, the roads less traveled are marked as ‘road not serviced’ meaning the dirt road is not graded and will be bumpy and uneven in places. We sometimes go down these roads just out of curiosity and intrigued by what lies ahead.

I’ve noticed in these very trying times, many people are more than likely to stick to the here and now familiarity. To me, it seems God is not allotting time for the familiar and is throwing us all on the road less traveled. I see over and over again people thinking that they control their circumstances and don’t really rely on God. It’s as if He is the ‘go to’ guy and not the depended upon King of Kings that He is!

When I was diagnosed with this ‘dire disease’ that everyone has their own ideas about, but me, being different as I am, I chose the road less traveled. On this bumpy and at times uncertain road I’m met with the ungraded surface of people that don’t understand and are not willing to even learn. Is society so set it in its ways that there is no room for growth?

I’m alive in a time of miracles and people move in a robotic routine state on the conveyor belt of life. As winds and storms take aim, as civility has ceased to exist, as doctors are no longer the healers of their profession but basically drug dealers with a license, the world is in utter chaos.

I’m alive and grateful for every living day. As I continue on down this road less traveled, I don’t have to see the hurried people on the highway of life. I don’t have to be a witness to the ‘me first’ society on the roundabouts that hurry people along. I don’t have to be a part of the political correctness of the world. I bow to no one but my Lord and Savior.

While blessings abound in my neck of the woods, I do get to witness God and all His glory. While some might not see a simple change in the schedule as a blessing, I don’t and never have believed in mere coincidences. We’ve had high winds for close to forty-eight hours now. I’m not talking about 10-20 mph winds, I’m talking 30-35mph sustained winds which means constant and unending, with GUSTS hitting the fifty and sixty mph range. Two whole days of unending wind, which doesn’t make travel easy, now does it? 

It doesn’t show up in news reports of our wind because I’m out in the middle of nowhere in a state that basically is invisible in a country overrun by big cities facing their own impending storms and damage. A blessing (to me) was when a girl at my husbands' job wanted to ‘switch’ days off with him. I knew today would be another day of hard to drive into work on our measly two-lane roads. Let a wind gust push you into the oncoming lane’s traffic, which happened Sunday as we went food shopping. Hubby said that yesterday the wind pushed him all over the road going to work, so I was not looking forward to both my guys having to drive in this stuff. Yes, God will protect them no matter what.

Today both hubby and son are off of work! Coincidence? I think not. A gentleman at my son’s work asked (last night) if he could switch days off and my son was more than happy to oblige. To me, that is two blessings! God is keeping a careful eye on my stress levels and keeping my family safe. After trying to venture outdoors yesterday and nearly getting pushed down the stairs by the gusting winds, I barely made it back up the steps to come in the house and the entire incident left me kind of shaken. I think I’ve lost more weight than I thought.

Today, tossed into the mix, is a light snowfall where north of me is facing blizzard conditions after a seventy-degree weekend! I thought Spring was in the air but God has other plans for the world and it isn’t a gay old merry day for Spring, it’s downright winter until March 21 and then some. Maybe another blessing will be in the forced Changing of the Clocks this weekend. Yes, we SPRING FORWARD to lose an hour but we gain an extra hour of sunlight that just might possibly warm our days. Not that I’ve seen much sunlight this winter anyway and I’ve done an abnormal amount of complaining this winter season too. I pray for change with my coming New Year celebration on April 1st.

1 Cor. 15:51 "Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,"

Merry Christmas Friends!

Luke 11:13 “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?”

My Spiritual Family: Merry Christmas

Oh come all ye faithful and lend an ear

To the sounds of the season with joyous cheer

People are laughing, the children playing

The angels are dancing, singing and praying.

Look at the sky see the blazing sun

Christmas day is for the unearthly One.

The Spirit of Him resides in us all

It’s up to us to run with the ball.

It is our choice to give or receive

The source that causes all to believe

Love is the element that breeds within

The true Light aglow of all that has been.

Awaken on Christmas understanding the reason

Of all that holds hope this holiday season.

My Spiritual family a blessing from above

Rained down on me in a show of true Love.

To my family of virtual friends, you have filled me this year with the utmost support and to YOU I wish a most blessed Christmas Day. My prayers will shower over you this Christmas season as the only gift I have to give. I love you all!

God Bless you all! 

Matt. 2:11 “And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh.”

Quotation Saturday ~ Seasons - Changes

Pss. 55:19 “God shall hear, and afflict them, even he that abideth of old. Selah. Because they have no changes, therefore they fear not God.”

SEASONS

“Is not this a true autumn day? Just the still melancholy that I love - that makes life and nature harmonise. The birds are consulting about their migrations, the trees are putting on the hectic or the pallid hues of decay, and begin to strew the ground, that one's very footsteps may not disturb the repose of earth and air, while they give us a scent that is a perfect anodyne to the restless spirit. Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns."
[Letter to Miss Eliot, Oct. 1, 1841]” 
― George Eliot

“I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says, "Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again.” 
― Lewis Carroll

“Spring passes and one remembers one's innocence.
Summer passes and one remembers one's exuberance.
Autumn passes and one remembers one's reverence.
Winter passes and one remembers one's perseverance.” 
― Yoko Ono

“If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome."

[Meditations Divine and Moral]” 
― Anne Bradstreet

“At no other time (than autumn) does the earth let itself be inhaled in one smell, the ripe earth; in a smell that is in no way inferior to the smell of the sea, bitter where it borders on taste, and more honeysweet where you feel it touching the first sounds. Containing depth within itself, darkness, something of the grave almost.” 
― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters on Cézanne

 “The leaves fall, the wind blows, and the farm country slowly changes from the summer cottons into its winter wools.” 
― Henry Beston

“SEASONS OF LIFE

Sometimes I fall
And feel myself slowly wilt and die,
But then I suddenly spring back on my feet
To go play in the sun outside.
I am no different than the weather,
The planets or the trees;
For there do not always have to be reasons
For the seasons turning inside of me.
The magnetism that swirls
In the sky, land, and sea
Are the exact same currents found twirling
In the electric ocean within me.
I am a moving vessel of energy.
And if my emotions do not
Flow up, down,
Within and around,
Then I am not alive.” 
― Suzy Kassem

CHANGES

“Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.” 
― Joss Whedon

“Half of me is filled with bursting words and half of me is painfully shy. I crave solitude yet also crave people. I want to pour life and love into everything yet also nurture my self-care and go gently. I want to live within the rush of primal, intuitive decision, yet also wish to sit and contemplate. This is the messiness of life - that we all carry multitudes, so must sit with the shifts. We are complicated creatures, and ultimately, the balance comes from this understanding. Be water. Flowing, flexible and soft. Subtly powerful and open. Wild and serene. Able to accept all changes, yet still led by the pull of steady tides. It is enough.” 
― Victoria Erickson

“The purest form of faith happens when you reach the bottom of your reasoning and find there is nothing that you can do that will make sense out of what you have been through.” 
― Shannon L. Alder

“Sacred blessings and divine opportunities appear in your life disguised as unforeseen changes and challenging circumstances.” 
― Miya Yamanouchi

“When you receive God's love, it means you're getting close to Him, spending time in His presence, opening your heart to Him, seeking to know Him, and desiring to be more like Him. Remember that choosing to receive God's love changes your life.” 
― Stormie Omartian

Blessed Bounty

Joni's blessed bounty of 2012

Pss. 136: 25 “Who giveth food to all flesh: for his mercy endureth for ever.”

He’s In Here

As many people think of Christ up there looking down on all you do, or over there watching you, or even beside you walking with you, that’s a good feeling because you know He’s on the journey of life with you.

Now think of Him right here, IN you instead of over, beside or under. It’s like this: Say you’re invited to dinner and the host has a bountiful display of food for you, over there. That’s what reading the bible is like, the bible is over there sitting, just waiting for you to partake from. 

Okay, now the host says the food is ready, go and fix yourself a plate. You walk toward your bible, pick it up and begin reading. As you fix your plate you put all of the good food on there and then she says, don’t forget the broccoli, but you hate broccoli but this looks so nice you oblige her and take a few stalks. 

You begin reading your bible, filling yourself with all of the good stuff, happy, cheerful, loving good stuff then it happens, you’re full but have yet to touch the broccoli. There are some dark, bitter tasting words in the bible that you just want to gloss over but you don’t want to leave the host hanging so you indulge.

Oh dear, you’ve touched on rape, incest, murder, and polygamy. You’re tasting the bitterness of the broccoli and just want to spit it out and pretend you never had it but you begin to chew and chew and read and read so you can understand that ALL of the bible is the Lord’s buffet, broccoli and all. Mingled with the good is the ugly and all those words are left for you to discern whether you continue in the meal.

Now, you’ve finished the entire meal, you’ve read the entire bible, sat it on the table and wiped your mouth of any leftover gravy that might be on your lips. You walk away full, filled with the meal you’ve just eaten, filled with the words you’ve just read. You can see it as a fictional tale because honestly, some of that stuff was over the top fairy tale stuff. A whale swallowing a man and for three days he was in the stomach. A man called to build a big ark to carry two of every animal away from the impending flood, a man lying with the lions. Give me a break, right? (Oh there’s more crazy stuff for you to read)

You thank the gracious host and are on your way home, only to realize instead of leaving the bible on the table, you’ve taken it with you and it’s sitting in the other seat as a companion on the ride home. Your mind starts going over the wonderful meal you had with the mashed potatoes and delicious brown gravy, the juicy steak, meaty turkey and ham all of which melted in your mouth for you to savor on the way home.

The vegetables were a bit over the top with the likes of spinach and okra, eggplant and corn, carrots and yams, then the broccoli, the bitter tasting broccoli which climbed back up into your throat allowing you, in the quiet confines of your car, to let out a loud releasing burp. Ah, now you feel better. 

As you approach home, you glance over at your bible, you realize that there was some truth in there that you might want to believe like loving your neighbor, turning the other cheek when someone hurts you and forgiveness, yeah you like that one, the ability to forgive.

You arrive home. Do you leave the bible in the car, take the book with you, or place it in the trunk because it really wasn’t something you’re into? Your mind lingers to the host, the creator of such a grand meal that the remnants are still lingering in you. The piercing eyes, the heart of gold, the sweet laughter of a child on the merry-go-round, the host is lingering.

Imagine this: God being the host. He’s created such a grand meal in  the way of planet earth, giving you everything to partake of, the good, the bad and the ugly bitter tasting remnants. Man and woman were happy at one time with all of this bounty, so much so we had a day of celebration called Thanksgiving for all that we have.

Today, man has left the host in the trunk of the car pretending they didn’t partake of any of the hogwash they read over dinner. Some people got out of the car remembering the bible and took it with them carrying it close to their heart and went in the house to place it on the table, so it would always be close to them. 

What I’m saying is this, some people put Him back there to take Him for a ride, some put Him over there so they can glance at him once in awhile, while some see Him up there looking over them as they journey through life and me, I see Him IN HERE, my heart, my soul, my veins to always carry Him and His words with me and savor every last drop. How about you? 

I'm Not Worthy

Rev. 4:11 (KJV)  “Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.”

I’m not worthy.

How many times have you said THAT in your lifetime? I hear so many people say they don’t want to put faith in God or become a Christian because he ‘expects’ too much from them.

Too much? Let me ask you a question, a scenario if you will. 

Your mother calls you when you’re on your way home from a long days work.

“Can you pick me up a loaf of bread, honey?”

“But I’m heading home, I really want to get home.”

“I haven’t eaten all day and really would like to make a sandwich.”

“Oh, okay mom. See ya in a few.”

Was that expecting too much from you? Why because it’s out of your way? You’d do anything for your mother, right? Was she expecting too much in the way of asking you for something and you getting nothing in return?

Well think of God as your father, he’s asking for a few things. Like what? Oh, you know, He don’t want you to murder nobody, steal anything, gossip about everyone and everything (that’s a hard one), want what your neighbor or friend has, He doesn’t want you worshipping other God’s (think loving someone else more than you mother!) or worshipping those fake images of Him, oh and don’t curse Him. When you say ‘Jesus Christ Almighty’ let it be in honor of Him not to dishonor Him. Honor your MOTHER and your FATHER. < See, he wants you to respect, love and honor them as much as He wants your love honor and respect. And no cheating on your wife! 

There, is that too much to ask? It’s like your mother asking for a whole list of items instead of just a loaf of bread, eh? Well, let me tell you something that works for me. When I try to live by these ‘Ten Commandments’, I say try because you know what, they’re hard for everybody not just you, I get closer to Him and start to act differently too. It becomes easy and the whole personality shifts and things just start happening, in a good way that you can’t explain (I know, science will call it coincidence) but you start to FEEL differently.

Does adhering to these Ten Commandments make you worthy? Let me tell you the truth, you don’t have to do anything and you’re already worthy to Him. You feel unworthy because PEOPLE make you feel unworthy. God hasn’t done anything to make you feel unworthy, has He? Think about that a moment, you feel unworthy of having a relationship with Him because the people around you tell you that you need to do things a certain way to feel worthy.Try not listening to outer influences and let God tell you how to feel. God just wants you to love Him and others.

Mark 12:30-31 “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.”

People make Christianity out to be this big bad evil venture of wants. The church wants too much, people want too much, God wants too much. Wants, wants, wants and I see nothing about the NEEDS of mankind. Man needs a moral compass, man needs to live in a content state, we NEED to find respect for one another. God is not as hardline as people make Him out to be. 

People see God as the problem? I think that the person bringing God to you is the problem. They’re supposed to be on a mission to bring you the humbleness of the Lord but sometimes they make you feel unworthy by placing demands on you that you can’t seem to fulfill. It’s too much work so you give up on God altogether. 

Mega churches only get bigger because man, hundreds, and thousands, are supporting the Word these places feed them. Is it twisted? Distorted? To me, it is, only because I see a broken nation of poor and needy and these mega places are not finding that portion of society to help and in the end, many are turned away from Christianity because they feel unworthy. I don’t believe for one minute that the poor is funding these mega institutions.

Now I’ve heard some say, “I went to church once and they begged for money by putting some kind of offering basket in front of me. That was a big turn-off for me. I’m poor, they should be helping ME.”

It’s ironic, you walk into a church, right? You see lights, musical instruments? You know they have youth groups full of activities preparing children for the future. Do you assume that God Himself is keeping the electricity on? Do you also assume that the basket (which is called tithing, by the way) of money is kept for the greedy church fingers? The money is used for church NEEDS to keep the church ALIVE! Without your one dollar, or a penny, they will close and you’d have nowhere to attend church. The mega churches more than likely need a hundred thousand dollars a week to run and that is why the rich keep them funded, so they have a place to go on Sunday morning.

In a nutshell, to feel worthy, you need to feel the love of God run through your veins. However you bleed God out of your system is between you and Him. Sometimes I feel unworthy because I feel I have nothing to give Him. Then I sit down at the computer and fill this blog with the Word that flows from me like a running river. This is what I offer Him and this is what I lend to you. 

Galatians 5:16-17 (NIV)

So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.

Nurturing The Seed Within

Pss. 72:7 "In his days shall the righteous flourish; and abundance of peace so long as the moon endureth."

People are going to ask, how do I nurture the seed within?

Well, I can only tell you what works for me. I think every individual is different and will react to His blessings differently as they begin to nurture, continue to feed, and discipline themselves to receiving all of the knowledge the Lord has to offer. Through good and bad, the seed is within you just waiting for the water so it can blossom.

If you think God handpicks the perfect in society, boy are you ever wrong. He doesn’t choose the most beautiful to guide, He doesn’t ask the strong to come to Him, He doesn’t want the saint that man appoints, nope, he wants the ugly, downtrodden, dirty muddy sinner. Why? Because He sees what is deep inside. If he knows every hair on your head, you can bet your bottom dollar he can see the mud built up on your feet from going barefoot for long walks at a time.

1 Sam. 16:7 (KJV) “But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.”

Going barefoot is like a man who never knew or wanted to know the likes of Christ. He’s washed his hands of everything to do with God and is living the life that he has planned for himself. You know what? That is the kind of man or woman that God has set His sights on even when you think there is nothing, there is something calling you to Him. You might not acknowledge the pull, but you know, deep in the night as you try and fall asleep, the stars are out there twinkling and you wonder.

You might think He’s washed His hands of you but I can assure you, God did not create us to dispose of us because we don’t fit His bill. No siree, God has his eyes on you when you think you’ve ridden yourself of Him. Even when you shun Him and don’t seek him he has landed his eye on you and is deep within you pulling you toward him, to an eternity with Him. 

Samuel chose David over all of Jesse’s sons, the ones who were taller, smarter and better looking for small little David who was out in the fields tending the sheep. Did God overlook David? No, he saw in him a King and that is what David would later become. 

If you read the book of Samuel you’ll see, David, the one who would one day be king, is the same boy who fought Goliath. Was it an easy task? Did he just walk up to him and say Boo, be gone? No, I do believe David struggled all of his life to be accepted by his family, fought to want to be included as a warrior but was overlooked by man and was tread upon and ground into the dirt but overcame a giant! HE was the one chosen by God.

This is the God I love and praise, One who sees me in all my tattered clothing, broken body, dry crinkly skin, He sees in me a King, so to speak. As I realize this, I begin ACTING like a king, in character and dignity and carrying myself for the entire world to see God IN me!

He sees something in each and every one of us no matter how small we think of ourselves, He’s choosing us to come to Him. That is how we nurture our Spirits. We fill our lives with everything God. From animals to plants, from flowers to trees, from the clouds to the moon, He is all, living in all and once you start seeing Him in everything you begin to want to know more and more about this God.

Does this mean He’ll heal you of your pains and illnesses? No, they’ll become bearable. Will He pay your high electric bill for you? No, but you’ll have the means to do it. You have to be willing to SEE the blessing instead of seeing a coincidence. Sometimes we have to sacrifice our WANTS for our NEEDS to be fulfilled. That right there is God working in you. You are important to Him. As with anything that is important to you, you take care of it, you nurture it until the seed becomes you, the you God intended. 

When you finally accept that science will never find Him or ‘prove’ Him and live with the faith that KNOWING Him is well enough for your soul, blessings and miracles fall like sparkling confetti and you see them and know they are from Him, the Him you didn’t even believe existed. May the Spiritual seed that God planted in you be nurtured until you bond together, grow, and flourish.

Praise be to God!

1 Samuel

My Own Little World

My Own Blessed Little World

1 John 4:16 “And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.”

Out here in the middle of nowhere, I sit in my own little world. People expect me to be absorbed in the virtual world but no, it serves no purpose in my life so I sit in my own little world tapping on keys writing to my hearts content. 

The mornings here in this springtime world are bathed in sunshine, after almost a month of gray clouds and rain. The crisp cool mornings are still upon us where a light jacket is needed in the morning but by afternoon, no jacket is required, just sun, grass, and endless fields.

The pivots are making their morning stroll releasing a mist to the newly planted fields. Big-wheeled tractors are making their morning rounds discharging a fertilizer to protect the greenery from insects. Then there are the cottonwood trees freeing the clumps of cotton-like substance landing on the ground looking like a newly fallen snow.

Then there is the insect world. The spiders have been awakened from their winter slumber, the flies are mounting an army to attack any living creature in their way, and the hummingbird moths have made their appearance on my Salvia bush. Butterflies flit off in the distance inspecting the newly bloomed Marigolds that resurface every year. Note that marigolds are not perennials but the mild winters have been protecting the seeds as they fell from last year and so I am blessed with hundreds of marigolds each season.

I was in a bit of depression a few weeks ago and my one friend asked me what was wrong. I didn’t really give him any clear answer but sure enough, a week later he prodded further and I told him I was healing. I had been down for who knows what reason but I was now working on myself and finding healing. That’s a friend, who senses when you’re down and actually cares enough to poke in your business to see what the problem is and checks up on you to make sure you’re doing okay. 

He assured me that I am blessed and it hit home. I began counting the blessings in my life instead of focusing on what I can’t do. You see, I’m not an idle person; I always like to be moving whether planting in my garden, digging up weeds, mowing, cleaning, and doing laundry or whatever. I type/write in the few minutes of rest that my disabled body needs, then I’m back up moving around. 

My disability gets me down a lot of the times. I don’t even know what the disability is but I do know if I was pulled over and asked to take a sobriety test I’d fail for my inability to walk a straight line and not from alcohol either. My vision isn’t too good either so I stopped driving for my safety and the other drivers, too. I was diagnosed with arthritis in my back but after reading the M.S. symptoms, I’m not going to rule that out.

After I throw myself a pity party, I find a healing place in counting my blessings. I know this doesn’t sound like a blessing but my neighbor finally mowed down her waist high grass. Her riding mower needed blade repair and a push mower that she bought (so that she could lose weight, she told me) was too hard for her so she had her riding mower repaired and spent four hours for three days out there in the sun, stirring up my allergies, but I was feeling blessed by not having to see the eyesore any longer.

On the cooler days, I take advantage of getting outside, in my own little world. Sometimes I mow (carefully, knowing my limits) sometimes I just sit out there watching trucks roll by, other times I’m out there, counting my blessings.

While many people are consumed with what they don’t have, what they HAVE to have, what they WANT and what they’ll spend their money on, I’m here in my own little world counting my blessings of all that I HAVE! Cherishing the fact that I have all that I NEED and want for nothing but cool nights so I can continue sleeping with my windows open and the breeze chilling me so much that the quilt is pulled up to my neck!

I know spring will end and summer will arrive, and in my own little world, that will be fine by me! I’ll just continue to count my blessings!

Deut. 28:2 “And all these blessings shall come on thee, and overtake thee, if thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God.”

Angel Always... Godspeed

Pss. 104:4 “Who maketh his angels spirits; his ministers a flaming fire:”

Have you ever had one of those really good weeks where you wonder when the bottom is going to drop right out? It’s been that kind of week. 

Let me take you back two weeks when a dog, a yellow lab rounded the corner of the big blue barn-shed beside my house. Timid and scared, she made her way through my garden, around to the front of the house only to come back and sniff me out to see if I was an evil master or a good angel that she could trust. Anyone who knows me, knows she found a good person to trust in, right? 

I put up signs the next day looking for the owner, I searched lost dog sites and Facebook Lost Pet society to see if ANYONE owned this beautiful but scared dog. The one dog I saw on FB was named Reilly and this dog, for some reason, was responding to that name, but after posting a pic, the lady said it was not her dog. 

I own a dog, a pretty sizable female dog, so keeping Reilly is not an option but every day I’d wake and find her on my front steps or curled up in my garden. The days pass by and she’s still here letting us know she isn’t going anywhere. 

She has one of the deepest barks I’ve ever heard and keeping my neighbors and myself awake at night was going to be a serious problem! I bought a leash to hook her up to in the evening for when she goes on her midnight romps of chasing deer, skunk, raccoon or whatever she can bark at and it is working. She fell silent the nights hinged (a long chain with a collar) to a tree so I’ve since let her off to allow her the freedom, she barks it’s back on but this intelligent dog knows, just knows what I’m doing or trying to teach her. 

I posted a pic and my niece, Sara, right away said she looked like a dog I used to own named Shannon and that I just HAD to keep this dog. Another friend said that I HAD to take care of her because, Angel always? (my signature from way back) And that God would never turn ME away (yeah, the guilt card) and I’m kind of buying it but my husband has not softened up to her, yet. My sister said the dog was an angel sent for me. Oh my…

This was right around the time my husband lost his job but also right around the time he applied for a new job and got a call right away. Now, we can’t feed this oversized dog AND our oversized dog AND feed the family since well, no job and the time it will take to get money from the new job. Everything is stacked against me, or so it seems, from keeping this dog.

My neighbor has two small terrier dogs, a miniature Chihuahua and Reilly seems to think they’re her play toys. One day she played with them all day acting like the puppy that she is, not hurting them mind you, just jumping all around them telling them to play. Being older dogs they wanted nothing to do with Reilly. It brought back some unsettling memories of me as a child wanting to play and no one wanting to play with me because I was annoying or just the riff-raff type that their mothers wouldn’t allow their kids to play with. (Thanks Reilly)

Just so you know, I HAVE been feeding Reilly and giving her food and maybe THAT is why she won’t leave. When a thunderstorm hit the other night I was totally nervous for this dog being outside and I tried so hard to get her into my shed but she just shied away from me. Yesterday’s rain had me calling her again but she sauntered off and went under my neighbor Lisa’s trailer that she keeps as a doghouse for her dogs. It is just a trailer full of junk like old books and papers, magazines, old rugs and stuff. Reilly is one smart dog!

That brings me to today. Yes Reilly is still here wandering around this big old run down Turkey Ranch and greeting us when we walked out the door this morning to take my son to get his driver’s license. He had to take the same test that he failed three times before. But today would be different yes? YES!

Different from the other times was Adam’s optimism and confidence. I allowed him to wear my thumbprint necklace, which is a thumbprint of my deceased father. I wanted a part of my dad to be a part of this day. When Adam walked out the door of the DMV with a MALE who was going to test him, I knew, I just knew that this would be the day he passed! I even said, “He’s going to pass.” Just by seeing whom the tester was.

The other times he had a female to test him and Adam was not confident with them. This time was different Adam left with a smile and returned with A SMILE! A smile that signaled to me, he passed! I cried! I didn’t bawl my eyes out but tears began trickling out of my eyes. He came out the door with his temporary license in his hand, a smile on his face and I gave him the biggest hug ever! 

The week has been richly full of blessings. My mother has seen to it that we can make it until we get a real paycheck again by sending me ‘a treat’ which will buy me food and me taking care of Reilly is essentially ‘paying it forward’.

May the week continue to be joyful and prosperous as I head into my birthday week!

Angel Always, Godspeed.

Ezra 5:31 “Now when I had spoken these words, the angel that came to me the night afore was sent unto me,”

Reilly

The Year Ends...A New One Begins

Jeremiah 29:11-13 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. 

The Year Ends… A New One Begins

Now that I have my shine back, I’m going to attack 2016 with a vengeance. I’m not one to make New Year’s resolutions because to me tomorrow is just the day we hang a new calendar. But I digress; it is a new year with a new number! 

The year that just passed was an odd number, an intermingled bad year with a good year. My marriage took place so I thought for sure the rest of the year was going to be a good one full of blessings galore. I see every day as a blessing no matter how down I am, so yeah, I had 365 days of blessings! I survived, what a blessing!

While in previous years I’ve always celebrated the New Year on Easter Sunday, this year is going to be a little different since I’m going to tackle the New Year on January 1st! Not only am I going to flip the calendar I’m going to flip my energy to a positive growth spurt this year and what better day than on the first of the year.

While I’ll still celebrate my spiritual New Year on Easter, the physical New Year will begin on the first of January leading into the new digits 2016. It is going to be a year of promise, hope, sincerity and truth. Even if death encircles me I will tackle the gloom like a linebacker with every ounce of force within my body.

I’m definitely going to make a comeback with my writing even if I have nothing to say but God Bless you, my challenge to myself is to awake every day with hope in my heart and words on my fingertips! Yeah, that’s a challenge seeing last year I barely wrote. Even if no one reads me, I’ll write to insure my sanity, as without writing I might as well be comatose.

This looks to be an exciting year with the aspect of a new president. I get to watch all my friends fall all over themselves as if stone cold drunk in the political postings of the day. I’ll watch as their year is consumed with hate of this, that and the other thing, all the while posting scripture to defend their stance. 

Facebook may have to become obsolete in the coming year as my fellow Americans make fools of themselves and not even being aware of what asinine behavior they are adhering to in the name of egotistical rights. Yes, we have Freedom of Speech, I just wish everyone could take a look at the dignity mirror and see if hate-filled spew is going to be a part of their year and whom they appear to be mirroring in the mess we call politicizing.

People assume I turn a blind eye to the happenings in the world but little do they know I CHOOSE not to consume my inner strength with false cares of the world. I choose to see the end product because let me tell you, we are all going to die and if your world is so consumed with the here and now, what is your eternity going to look like? 

Again, my new year will not be absorbed by the here and now, it is going to be focused on the end of me and what will become of my spirit in the hereafter.

When I go to bed at night I want to know that I feel good about myself inside and out. After spewing hate, do you feel good? That is temporal and will not carry you through eternity. Sure being consumed with the worldly might get you through the day and maybe that is who you are and you like who you are.

Does God participate in you trying to guilt people into a repost? 
Romans 12: 2 says:  “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” Does God participate in your life at all? 

2016 will be a new year and a new life for me and my participation in God himself will be the driving force behind an extremely good year because I WILL NOT be conformed to this sad world. 

My prayer journey will continue as in years past for change in the human psyche so that humans might be in touch with their spirituality so that they can release the negativity in the privacy of their own minds, not out in the open for the world to see. Because if WE see your evident hate, I wonder what God sees in you?

As you celebrate the ending of the old year and the New Year begins… celebrate life and the spiritual journey. Make a change that you can actually FEEL!

Be blessed in all you do! 

Godspeed! 

Blessings

Eph. 1:3 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ:”

Blessings

In the midst of grief, blessings arise. Can you imagine laughing and smiling less than five days after your father passed away? Believe it or not, I’ve even shed some happy tears along the way this week.

I have traveled down memory lane and clung to all the happier times and the dimmer days don’t even seem to be in my memory base. As I sit out here in the middle of nowhere, I find myself being a light in a tunnel where darkness might try to seep in.

Last week my brother was shying away from visiting my father all because of earlier disagreements with his brother and sister. I’m too far away to slap him upside the head but what I did say encouraged him so much that the next day he walked in the hospital, head up, and spent three hours with our mother, father and siblings. He came home and called me right away and thanked me.

The next day my father passed away. My brother again called me and thanked me. He said had I not told him what I told him he may have never had those last moments with my dad. There are blessings in death.

Last week on October 29^th when the news of my dad dying smacked me upside the head, I struggled with thoughts of not being there by his side. I went outside and looked at the night sky as tears leaked out of my eyes like a faucet. I talked to my dad and said how sorry I was for not being there, in that moment the brightest star I’ve ever seen fell from the sky. A smile replaced the streaming tears and I said, “Thank you, Dad.” That is why when I saw the shooting star dance across the sky the other night I called him a show off.

I imagined my dad, dancing across the sky in happiness that there would always be a way to communicate with me. He was happy, breathing easy and knowing not only would we all be okay but that my mother would be fine. He is dancing in the eternal sky and the heavens are now his home.

Many people, not just me, see their loved ones in one form of communication or the other. Some see them in fluttering birds who land in odd places and chirp or butterflies who show up at odd times of the day and land right in front of you or on your hand even, some see their loved one communicating in something as simple as a frog appearance where frogs/toads wouldn’t normally show up but deep inside they KNOW, it is their loved one communicating. They see what others don’t want to see and they acknowledge it as just what it is; they are blessings, communication from beyond.

Then there are different blessings like the one my mother received yesterday. As you can imagine she has the new worry of living alone and paying rent and bills. My mother paid her rent for November while my dad was in the hospital. My dad always took care of that stuff but he wasn’t home or able to at that time so my mother took charge. The landlord called her yesterday and announced that my mother had paid too much rent for November! Since my father passed on Oct. 29, and she would be living alone, her rent would be reduced by almost $400 dollars!!!

As you can imagine my mother cried her eyes out but finally in all the dismal weeks these were happy tears. She called me right away and told me, I then unleashed some of my own happy tears! It felt good that my tears were not for being sad but were comfort in knowing this blessing, and that’s just what it was, coming a day before my father was put to rest.

Blessings come in all shapes and sizes and each of us needs to be open to see the spiritual blessings that reside in every thing. Today, November fourth, my father’s funeral is taking place back home. I need to reflect and see what blessings come on this grim day.

Gen. 49:25 “Even by the God of thy father, who shall help thee; and by the Almighty, who shall bless thee with blessings of heaven above, blessings of the deep that lieth under, blessings of the breasts, and of the womb:”

We're Getting Married

Rom. 6:14-15  “For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace. What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid.”

We’re Getting Married

After thirteen years together we’re finally getting married on Wednesday, May 13th. Many will ask, “A Wednesday?”

Yes, a Wednesday at the Historic Courthouse of Minden, Nebraska. (see pic above taken from google pics)

Why a courthouse? Well let me tell you.

When Steven realized I didn’t want all the glitz and glamor of a wedding (been there done that) I think we both realized it might be time to get married. We’ve had a tough road laid out for us in the beginning, what with meeting online, both committing sin neither of us were too happy about committing. (He being divorced, me being married but separated kept us from nuptials.)

We both talked about marriage, we both wanted it but with obstacles in our way and climbing hurdles the task became too much. I won’t say money hindered us because any time we needed ANYTHING the good Lord provided for us, so it wasn’t necessarily money keeping us from marriage.

Many of my friends and readers know about Steven going blind a few years ago, so there was that. Then we had doctor appointments upon doctor appointments, in Omaha no less and yes funds came out of the woodwork to get us from point A to point B.

Our church made it quite clear a few times (not just once) that they could not marry us as long as we were living in sin! They told us point blank that we needed to separate for a few months, date other people and if we found our way back to one another than this is what God has brought together.

Umm…wait, God didn’t bring us together thirteen years ago? For crying out loud we met through a screen! God had no hand in that? We chatted online for ten months before my husband threw his son and me out of the house and told us he never wanted to see us again. (Trust me on this one, it had more to do with his mental instability than any friend I had online.)

My ex had been struggling for YEARS (I stayed 20 of them) and there was no help or aid on this earth that could see this man through (and to this day still hasn’t). He wanted nothing to do with his son, he only wanted to control and obsess over me and a friend on the net came and saved my life! THAT is how *I* see it.

To this day I still say that it was God who brought Steven to my front door. While on the net, there were many girls and guys who knew my predicament and wanted to help but Steven is the only one who loaded up his truck and made his way from Texas to Baltimore to save me, a damsel in distress.

Where was my family? They knew my ex was obsessed with me and a control freak and my brother-in-law even tried to get his minister to help. It didn’t help, my ex just tried to control and manipulate that situation too. My family was giving up on him and saw no way to help my son and ME so I left and have NEVER looked backed!

I chose the road less traveled! Now to be told by the church and the very people I was trusting with my life that Steven and I had to separate, put me in a whirlwind of confusion. Where would I go? I can’t go back home. I don’t want to SEE other men. I don’t want to separate. Those were the rules. Rules we never agreed to so we settled on a courthouse wedding where the LAW wouldn’t deny us.

Thirty-seven years of always being controlled and owned I was thrown into a new state, Texas, miles and miles away from home for the first time in my life. The first weeks maybe months I was scared, so much so anxiety attacks took over and many nights of tears were being shed for my loneliness and my son who was seven, who didn’t understand one thing going on around him.

Steven and I grew. We fell in love. I was urged to divorce my (ex) husband after all of his false promises to do so fell apart. To this day I don’t even know if he knows we’re divorced. I do know he is living in Florida somewhere with his brother, but he still has no contact with the son he left behind.

The light at the end of the tunnel, Nebraska, became our saving grace. In Texas, Steven was going blind and he wanted to be near his family. His family and the good Lord saw to it that our journey was well blessed. A home, food and a good family surrounding us, we were well on our way. ONLY with God’s blessing did we get this far; and now we’re asked to separate by our Church, whom we’ve grown to love and trust?

I asked God what He wanted and well, marriage was the answer to our dilemma and again HE said He’d bless our journey. I’m not going to get into what God said to me, I DO have some things I keep private. I’m glad Steven and I took the time to get to know each other and grow in love together before we jumped into marriage. Nowadays marriage is not a sacred ceremony, people do it to just get it done and over with but we waited for God and HIS blessing on this union and so here we are.

We could have searched and found a church in Nebraska to marry us but we kind of feel let down by the entire institution. Don’t get me wrong; I understand completely that it is OUR sin that was not accepted and I’m okay with that, but you know what? Jesus died for OUR sin and HE accepts us.

Rom. 8:2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.

Instead of a rinky-dink newly built courthouse, I chose the Historic courthouse of Minden Nebraska, built by the some of the very first settlers in the state of Nebraska.

God has blessed our journey and has brought us to this path in life. May He continue to watch over and fruitfully bless our journey.

Happy New Year to You & ME!

Pic taken from the web

Rom. 8: 29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

Happy New Year

So starts a New Year for the poet within me. Since my shift in my goals last year from Write Right to Joni’s Muse, I have felt physically better, emotionally better and most importantly spiritually better.

I no longer have any desire to write fiction and my tales of non-fiction are all on display right here for the world to see. I don’t know what came over me but the change has been for the better and I actually FEEL better. That’s what is important to me.

Not that I’m being selfish or anything, I just feel the need in these darkened days to touch people in a different way. Life is not all about writing, the craft and learning new writing skills, at least not for me any more.

There was a time I craved learning the writing craft. I had friends that were all on the same path and we were all walking the same road to knowledge in the field of writing. Something happened and we all journeyed down different roads. I went this way, they went that way and we’re all embarking on different legs in the journey.

Now mind you some are still on the same path together, and they’re happy with that part of never changing just staying on the same path. Me, I’m a rebel, I had to leap off the path and leave some behind because we weren’t headed in the same direction.

As you can read from all of my final posts before the New Year began, I’ve gone the way of a shepherd instead of a sheep. I never did feel right just following along, I always liked the position of being a leader and not a leader among writers either.

And with that change came new friends with the same passion that I have, a love of God. You knew I’d mention Him sooner or later didn’t you? It is amazing to see God work and bring people to me. I definitely feel a pull toward the wholesome path and not a run down rock filled path where the sheep just kick the rocks to the curb and live happily in a rose-colored fog-laden world.

Rom. 12: 2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

I cannot and will not conform to this world and as many people try to lead me back to the lonely path to nowhere, I will continue down the path I began towards the end of last year, one full of Light and love! I have to, to save possibly others and myself who are tired of idle idols.

I will have opinionated pieces too mixed with all the poetry but like I say, it is MY opinion and not that of others. You can agree, disagree, love it or hate it, but it is just an ‘opinion’ and like eyeballs, everybody has them!

Enjoy the New Year, enjoy the journey you are on at this moment as I am enjoying mine. We don’t all need to be on the same path to be friends but it sure is nice having company.

Also I’d like to add, as my blog came to an almost complete halt; I feared a total crash and burn meaning I was headed in a ‘delete the whole thing’ mood. I came out of the quagmire with a new lease on the blog and I finished the year with 162 total posts in 2013! Already 4 posts in 2014!! Kudos to me for not listening to the inner demons!

Praise be to you know who… GOD!

p.s. Just as an added footnote: I won’t be sharing EVERY post on facebook so please have my page bookmarked for an easy return visit.

Love and blessings, Joni

2 Cor. 6: 14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

Common Bonds?

Pss. 97: 10 Ye that love the LORD, hate evil: he preserveth the souls of his saints; he delivereth them out of the hand of the wicked.

Prov. 8: 13 The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.

Common bonds?

Bond in hatred, bond in love

Nothing makes any sense.

How can one be devoted

To a life that’s so intense?

Bond in glory, bond in joy

Blessings mount on high.

With humble adoration

My Savior’s drawing nigh.

Bond in hate, bond in love

There rises inner conflict.

Turmoil then slowly erupts

By the pain you chose to inflict.

Bond in glory, bond in joy

A peace-filled soul pursue.

You’ll never be at a loss

For blessings that ensue.

Bound to glory, bound to joy

My life is full of love.

Bound in peace, bound in mercy

Blessings rain from above!

Deut. 28: 2 And all these blessings shall come on thee, and overtake thee, if thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God.

Thank you my friend in Christ who rained unexpected blessing upon me. You see Christ in me, and I thank you! God Bless!

Quotation Saturday ~ Blessings, Karma, Destiny

Prov. 28: 20 A faithful man shall abound with blessings: but he that maketh haste to be rich shall not be innocent.

*** ~~~ ***

BLESSINGS ~ a favor or gift bestowed by God, thereby bringing happiness.

“When we lose one blessing, another is often most unexpectedly given in its place.”
~ C.S. Lewis

“You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestation of your own blessings.”
~ Elizabeth Gilbert

“Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering.”
~ Steve Maraboli

“For Equilibrium, a Blessing:

Like the joy of the sea coming home to shore,
May the relief of laughter rinse through your soul.
As the wind loves to call things to dance,
May your gravity by lightened by grace.
Like the dignity of moonlight restoring the earth,
May your thoughts incline with reverence and respect.
As water takes whatever shape it is in,
So free may you be about who you become.
As silence smiles on the other side of what's said,
May your sense of irony bring perspective.
As time remains free of all that it frames,
May your mind stay clear of all it names.
May your prayer of listening deepen enough
to hear in the depths the laughter of God.”
~ John O'Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings

DESTINY ~  the predetermined, usually inevitable or irresistible, course of events.

“I told you. You don't love someone because of their looks or their clothes or their car. You love them because they sing a song only your heart can understand.”
~ L.J. Smith

“There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be...”
~ John Lennon

“There are winds of destiny that blow when we least expect them. Sometimes they gust with the fury of a hurricane, sometimes they barely fan one’s cheek. But the winds cannot be denied, bringing as they often do a future that is impossible to ignore.”
~ Nicholas Sparks, Message in a Bottle

“I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life”
~ Savage Garden

“Your soul knows the geography of your destiny. Your soul alone has the map of your future, therefore you can trust this indirect, oblique side of yourself. If you do, it will take you where you need to go, but more important it will teach you a kindness of rhythm in your journey.”
~ John O'Donohue

KARMA ~ the good or bad emanations felt to be generated by someone or something:

“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.”
~ Eckhart Tolle

“When you see a good person, think of becoming like her/him. When you see someone not so good, reflect on your own weak points.”
~ Confucius

“If you send out goodness from yourself, or if you share that which is happy or good within you, it will all come back to you multiplied ten thousand times. In the kingdom of love there is no competition; there is no possessiveness or control. The more love you give away, the more love you will have.”
~ John O'Donohue

“Even chance meetings are the result of karma… Things in life are fated by our previous lives. That even in the smallest events there’s no such thing as coincidence.”
~ Haruki Murakami

Pss. 24: 5 He shall receive the blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.

Carma and Destiny

Carma and Destiny…

Ezek. 34: [26] And I will make them and the places round about my hill a blessing; and I will cause the shower to come down in his season; there shall be showers of blessing.

Well since Steven pretty much told of the exciting day we had on Thursday the 8^th here, I thought I would add to the specialness of the day.

  

First allow me to tell you of Destiny. That is what we deemed his ’99 Explorer after his purchase of his truck back in 2003. It was destiny that rode into my life, in the fashion of a galloping blue steed, with Steven behind the wheel.

I saw that day back in May of 2003 as the day my life would be changed, altered, and would never be the same again. It was a year I would never forget and destiny was all a part of the swiftly changing scene; it only seemed fair that we gave her that name.

I know you think only guys name their cars, but this truck swept me off my feet into another state; another world than what I was accustomed to living. I had been living a sheltered life with a man who was ripping at the seams and for the protection of my son, I basically fled, with his blessing mind you, because he knew he was becoming volatile.

Destiny waved her colorful ribbons all caught in the moment of windswept storms. We dwelled in Texas for six years, and it is where I home schooled my son, got my license (at age 37) and watched as my son grew into a respectable human being. After six years in Texas, we were destined to be in Nebraska, where I sent my son to school for the first time. Now a senior, embarking on his last year of high school, he turned out to be a fine young, albeit tall, young man. Destiny was good to him too.

Now Destiny, the truck, had her inhibitions. She liked to stall on occasion, but nothing we couldn’t talk her back into a good rev. When I lost control a few years back, I planted Destiny in a ditch, and with airbags exploded, the tow- truck driver said, “You might as well junk it.” The undercarriage had been immersed in water and he felt she would never ride again.

Would you believe, the next day she started right up, we rode to his brother’s house, (he’s a mechanic) and he said she’d make it! Well, we KNEW she would, it was our Destiny! And ride she has for the past four years, never letting us down.

Now let me tell you. Here in Kearney, they have a car dealership named Crossroads. Wouldn’t ya know it that was the title for the novel I’m writing? That was its decided name BEFORE I moved to Nebraska and saw this car dealership. I had said from day one, “If I ever buy a car, it’s going to be from Crossroads, because that is like an advertisement for my novel.” I had even mentioned it again a few weeks ago, maybe even every time we ride past the dealership.

Now go back and read what a wonderful day we had yesterday. Everything went perfect, the car we wanted to buy seems perfect and too many things fell into place to not think something greater was at work. We road past Crossroads and again I said.. “I always wanted my first car to be from there.” You know what Steven said?

“I forgot to tell you, the back of the car? It has a Crossroads emblem on it.” Chills ran up my arms, tears built up without overflowing my eyes.

“This is our car! This is OUR CAR!!” My excitement as we were driving to the man’s house was building up, until we finally pulled up to the car. That is when the tears overflowed my eyes. Breathless I whisperd, “That’s my car! THAT is MY car!”

Adam in the back seat kept telling me to NOT cry, and as I dried my eyes, I got out and approached the car. We took it for a ride, and I knew, it was Karma! Adam kept saying Karma with a C and it stuck. Carma and Destiny met!

Yes, our two vehicles will outlive what the record books say because they were destined to be together. This is where you say, “Awwwwwwwww.” 

 Ecc.3: 1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

Karma, to me, is God working in every way!

Praise God!

My Year in Review

Matt. 6:8 Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.

***

 January – It began, knowing full well I had to find a dentist, I had the money to cover the FULL bill, and was helped immensely by friends, with love and monetarily, in getting vitamins and herbs to aid with my deteriorating body. Thank you friends!

Steven, after being blind for three years, had his one eye restored in October, via a cornea transplant, and my body was not acting right by November. It was as if God was saying to me, “Now it’s your turn.” I’m okay with that.

February – The dentist appointment arrived, but it was only to go over the much- needed work I needed to have done. I think this is when an eye infection hit Steven, and many trips to Omaha were adding more pressure on my back pain rendering me practically unable to walk.

March and April – whizzed by in a flash. Trips to Omaha (they’re 6 hour drives at the least.) Trips to the dentist and Easter were fast approaching. I had a birthday squeezed in there somewhere. It’s a little foggy. (must be old age creeping in)

May- June – Found us in the garden growing pumpkins and tending flowers that were starting to grow. I found myself with many back issues haunting me and more dental visits were creeping along, slowly stealing my sanity. May was also the year my niece graduated so once again, another family function to attend.

Keep in mind, I love his family very much, miss my family, which I haven’t seen in six years, and surely was not feeling like a social butterfly. I wanted to crawl in my shell and just be left alone there. It was not to be. I embraced each function, continued going to Church, and my days were like ships out at sea, sometimes calm, cool and relaxing, while others were raging storms.

July – A very strange month for me. This is the month I felt a darkness crawling into the house like a thick fog. It hovered over the house mid-month so I sought the only refuge I knew, my church family. The one minister we visited with took things I said and turned it into a ‘me’ issue. Not realizing that evil is a sorely shunned issue. It hung like a wet blanket over my days, trying to smother me and I turned to what I know best, prayer and meditation. The Light is a much better trustworthy companion when fighting the dark. Yes I’m weird and strange, but I know there is only one way to fight a darkly lit room, and that is by turning on the LIGHT!

August – Another very hot month and having not a drop of rain was depressing. Farmers were hurting, flowers were struggling, pumpkins were growing, and Steven was getting antsy behind the keyboard and wanting to renew his license. He had gotten glasses, and was now ready to take the next step, getting his license restored; taken away when he went blind, his sight now restored meant a license to drive once again.

He took the test and failed the first time, the second time, but the third time, he passed. With a forty-mile driving range restriction, he was now a functional man once again.

My back pain was still there like a throbbing sore thumb, but I plowed ahead in Joni fashion and took each day as it came.

September – Ah September, the month I found my writing again, forged ahead, forgiving old hurts, and reconnecting with old friends I thought were gone out of my life. Restrictions were placed on the class I took, but I didn’t let it shape my renewal of writing. I was not going to allow the same people, who attacked me a year earlier, to dry up my love of writing once again and the six-week course went forward, I accomplished my goal and was writing once again.

During this time, Steven was job-hunting effortlessly. He would take anything that got him out of the house and made to feel like a part of society once again.

WalMart accepted him and he was happily in the work force once again!

October- November – With sore legs and back Steven worked his 30-hour workweek and the hours in the chill were settling into him. He was/is happy. A shopoholics dream; a job at WalMart! lol

Me, my pain soared me through these last months of the year. I was happy if he was happy and that is all that matters.

Not being a lover of family, WalMart insist its workers work on National Holidays. My Thanksgiving was spent at home, with Adam and I embracing the day and making it a day of Christmas decorating to surprise Steven after a long hard day at work.

Sure everyone told me of their many off day Thanksgiving celebrations, and working on T-day, but this was MY very first T-day without a Turkey day celebration.

December – Well this month was not without its turmoil. In Joni-fashion, it was full of drama. The month of November ended with an eye infection for Steven, but this time it was his bad eye. We really didn’t think anything could happen in that eye but Dec. proved to be a trying and challenging month for us both. The infection was too severe for treatment and we were told the eye had to be removed. A lot of confusion with all of that, I can tell you that much. But four trips to Omaha in two weeks, one week of missed work (thank you WalMart for understanding), and a lot of emotions were running wild. My back responded with rendering me unable to really lift my right leg, leaving me crippled and rendered me almost incapable of shuffling across the floor, dragging my leg behind. All my shopping had to be done online and I missed the stores for the holidays (and who says there isn’t a God?) lol I’m the opposite of Steven in that matter, I hate shopping, hate, hate, hate it!

Steven was back to work after his operation and week off, and the holiday was spent at his brother’s house. Steven had to work Christmas eve, and 8 in the morning the day after Christmas, but he did it.

Me, I’m still wobbly and fighting tooth and nail to be able to walk normal again.

Allow me to have a bragging moment. Adam has been GREAT through all of this. I don’t know about you, but how many boys do you know that would do the vacuuming, and dishes and dusting and stuff, when they knew their mother couldn’t? Mine did, and more! Shoveling snow, putting groceries away, taking care of things I couldn’t! I can honestly say, I’m a pretty proud mom.

You might read this and think, “Wow, that wasn’t a good year.” Or you might say, “Mine was worse than THAT!” But can you say, “I’ve had a year of blessings layered throughout my bad year?” Well I can. Sure I could see this as not a ‘good’ year per se, but know, there have been too many God given blessings for me to say it was a bad year.

In a year where I needed more money than I had, all was provided for. No matter what my need for any given month, God saw to it that my needs were met. He may have used YOU, or YOU, or any number of people to fulfill the needs in my life, but know, my year was a blessing filled year, and not one day has gone by that I haven’t noticed God’s presence in my life.

While all around me people’s lives were torn apart, storms took lives, weather took your crops, insane men were driven mad and took lives; my life has been full and richly rewarded. I’m a living testament to Christ, and without Him in my life and my focus on Him and not me me me, left me spiritually full, richly blessed, and another great year to be alive.

Whomever it is you believe in, just know, YOU are blessed to be alive in these times.

God bless you all!