Encouragement Through Discouragement

Col. 3:17 “And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.”

Encouragement through Discouragement

Ever wake up and feel discouraged only to find encouragement along your day? Yesterday I woke up, second-guessing my wanting to get back into writing fiction. I spend so much time writing nonfiction and posts for my blog the recent pull back into fiction writing was a welcome surprise. 

Here’s the problem, in my blog posts, I don’t seek out hits or ask for critique, that’s with all my nonfiction, if I want a crit I’ll be vocal enough to ask for it. When I ask for a critique on my fiction writing and don’t get anything, it discourages me and makes me wonder if fiction is REALLY what I’m being called to do. 

Here lately, I’ll admit, I’ve been down, not too peppy these days and I lost the bounce in my step. As warbled and limply as my steps are, it makes me feel insufficient. I can’t do this, I can’t do that, blah blah blah, wah wah wah. Yup, that’s me crying myself a river.

I have dear friends who will see to it that I don’t go down that bumpy road of darkness I like to deem as ‘depression alley’. Oh, I could wallow in that dark cave for days at a time and as our first heat wave of the summer smacks us upside the head out here in the middle of nowhere and no air conditioning in my car, I’m pretty much stuck out here like flies to honey.

Speaking of flies, they are horrendous this year. We had a problem last year because of all of the unused turkey sheds and the piles of mill seed that went unattended except for the flies, but the owner took care of that and we thought it would help with the pesky peasants this year but no, they’re just as bad. That is saddening in and of itself. The little buggers are out for blood! They land on you and sit and bite until you bleed! Yes, the red dots on my legs are from THEM blood-sucking varmints!

Back to my discouragement post, you didn’t think I’d forgotten, did you? Well, posting my fiction made me feel vulnerable, like an open wound not yet stitched up. I was apprehensive because something in the back of my mind was saying no don’t do it and something else was saying oh, what the heck. I was being encouraged to post my writing because after all, I had done some nitting myself so, okay, I’ll post, get some nits and send the work out.

I’m thinking of taking it off the forum but I’ll wait, I’m patient, it’s summer and times are slow but I really just want to get it sent out before I talk myself into not submitting the story. A lot of the times they [the magazines] don’t like it viewable online anywhere, even in a private forum setting. I did get one good crit and that made me feel good, encouraged even. 

I need to learn to not be discouraged. With 100-degree+ temperatures, it’s real easy to fall into the pit if discouragement hence the reason for my post on facebook yesterday:

“Have you ever been discouraged to the point of giving up (writing) and you fight tooth-and-nail to get back in the game only to be discouraged AGAIN? Yeah, that's what I'm up against. This thing called 'writing' a tough job but hey, somebody ELSE needs to be beat up, why not a writer.”  *deep sigh*

My friends came out of the woodwork to encourage me to NOT be discouraged. They offered kindhearted words to lift me up and told me how often that I had been their light to lift THEM up. I had not realized what an impact my writing, or my words had on people (keep in mind not all the comments were from my writing friends from the ‘private’ writing site.)

I had over 17 comments on that post, ALL encouraging and uplifting!

VJ wrote: “Know that your impact and reach extend further than you can see. You were one of the first people to encourage me to write. You have a tremendous amount of skill and talent. Don't despair...opportunities abound when you are least expecting them!”

Miss DonnaM wrote: “Your writings are reflected with grace ...
Do not be discouraged because I got good news for you ...
It is no secret what God can do...
What he’s done for others he can do for you ...”

These are just two of the many. I love my friends. Is that weird? To love people you’ve never met but inspire you more than they even know and you just want to hug them so tight and all you can do is thank them with words? 

I wonder if they knew that this would wind up being a blog post? Probably not, they DO have a life but you know what? They took time out of their day to encourage ME! How cool is that??? Refreshing on a hot day, I can tell you that. 

I will continue to work through the discouragement I feel on the encouraging words of some of the most amazing friends that really give me hope out here in this world. There are caring people who see when people are down, know it all too well, and go out of their way to lift that person off of their battered feet! 

Thank you, my dear friends! I truly do love and respect your open and honest hearts of gold! You ARE the encouragement through discouragement that I needed!

 God bless you all!!! 

FOCUS

One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it. ~Sidney Howard
***

I’ve set in motion a plan that I have for my life but somewhere along the line I got sidetracked by all the cute rides at the carnival. The roller coasters, the Carousel, the games and stuffed animals, what happened? This isn’t the picture I had in mind for myself.

I had a picture of a professional writer. One who becomes published with a real hard cover book sitting on the shelves at Barnes and Noble and maybe a few articles submitted, and Short Stories published, and most definitely a few books of poetry out there. All sidetracked by play time?

Not any more. A rude awakening! I’ve been God Slapped! I’m tired of being discouraged to the point of depression. I’m tired of putting my goals and dreams aside for a few moments of howdy do’s, a few games of yo/farm/hippie ville and a wave and a few hugs. Is this all worth it, for real? Is my sanity worth it?

I don’t think so. I have an email, I have a blog, if people really cared to see me or wave to me or give me a word of encouragement, I am a part of an online writing site, you can all wave and flutter by there can’t you? Or here?

I am normally a fun-loving free-spirited person but here lately things of the smallest caliber have crawled under my skin and turned to worms in my stomach making me want to vomit, and it can all be very discouraging.

When I see people make fun of God, and spew vulgarity, while others wink wink and say “Oh you’re going to hell.” Am I supposed to just sit like a carved statue on the side and listen but not react? Well, I  have chosen to focus on me and my writing. Through my writing I may rant and rave and get a whole lot of ugliness off of my chest that I’ve carried around a lifetime.

Let them laugh, mock, pretend; let them wallow in hypocrisy and drown in their own sorrows because me, I’m focusing on me as I change and grow to be the woman that God himself carved me out to be. I just hope that some people know that the way to encourage someone is to support them. That simple.

As my family, who is all back East and I in the Midwest, survived an Earthquake that by Maryland/DC/Va standards was big. As I watch people laugh and mock, natural disasters, I will celebrate the tenth Anniversary of September 11 attack with a candle and some prayer. Not on facebook, where it will be turned into a hatefest, racial slurs, religious taunts and all the ugly you can imagine. It is time for me, to become me, and time for you, to become you. What an enlightening week.

Now is the time to focus not just inward...but upward. As I grow and change, as the world shifts...will I stand alone? Only time will tell.

What's in a grade?

Mic. 7: 4 The best of them is as a brier: the most upright is sharper than a thorn hedge: the day of thy watchmen and thy visitation cometh; now shall be their perplexity.
***

Well the other day report cards came out. Believe it or not this is the third one since August 16th.  I was reminded of how, in my day, (didn’t you always hate hearing those words, in my day? Now I’m one of them.) a report card came three times a year? December, March and our final one in June.

Now I don’t get grades on my writing, but if I got a report card, it would scare me I imagine, as it scares kids when they don’t know what will be on that report card. Writers want to hear good things about themselves and again, I think kids do too.

I home schooled my son all his life so this report card thing was new to me. A government run school system grading my child and taking matters in their hands as to what is best for him, that scares the beejeebies out of me. I don’t trust very easily, and with each report card, I see why.

My neighbor kid told me he passed last year with straight C’s. I said, "well that’s not good." He went on to tell me he already knew everything so school was stupid anyway.
A ‘C’ to me was a 70 average.

My son this week, received an Ace Award for his excellence in Art. He loves art, excels at the class and was honored to receive such acclamations from his teacher. Kids love praise, there’s a no brainer. At the parent/teacher meeting he got all excellent reviews on how mannerly, responsible, respectable and how he’s an all around great kid.

Grades...they numb the child. Never having been in school in his life, the past three months have been challenging to him to say the least and I see him growing with each obstacle. I am not the kind of parent who needs to have an over achiever in my family so I look good. I am happy because my child is happy. Parents will agree, they want nothing more for their child than to be happy.

The grading system in my brain: 95-100 ‘A+’, 90- 94 ‘A’, 85-89 ‘B+, 80-84 ‘B’, 75-79  ‘C+’, 70-74 ‘C’. So when my son’s report card came in the mail, and I see a straight line of eighties, I’m happy! Only to find that the schools grading system has the letters listed as C’s and C+'s. ???? I don’t understand. Now I'm discouraged!

I remember years ago, they said they were going to do away with the Alpha system because it put pressure on the kid. It made them feel incompetent in places that they knew they did their best. Isn’t doing their BEST, what it’s all about? To me it is and it is acceptable. I EXPECT NOTHING MORE!!!

While parents and school systems push their children into athletics and over-achieving, I am happy my child, taken from a home based school system being thrust into an extremely difficult society of, sex driven over achievers, he is doing his best and I am a proud mother.

You want more from my child? When you get blood out of a turnip!

Encouragement?

Tim 4:8 For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come.

Encouragement is not an ugly word! Discouragement is.

When I was growing up, I never had anyone in my life that encouraged me to ever become a single thing. I learned from my surroundings to drink, do drugs and waste my life in the process, but along came grace and found me in the clutches of the evil one and took hold of me, shaking me into a new being, one where I could believe in myself.

God found me at an early age, lying in the pool of discouragement. No one in this world came along side of me and said, “You can do it!” I found God at an early age, and asked Him if I could do it, and He said, “Yes you can!”

So from about fourteen years old, I learned that God was going to be my only source of inspiration and that He would encourage me when I was weak and just needed to hear those three words, “Yes you can!”

Encouragement can be misconstrued also. Have you ever seen a kid on the football field, doing lousy, shoulders down, eyes to the ground and when you ask him, “What’s the matter.” He says, “I don’t like football.”

“You don’t like football? Then why are you playing it?"

“My dad wanted me to. He encouraged me to play, even though he knew I didn’t like this game.”

“And you always do what you’re told or encouraged to do?”

“Well, yeah. Don’t wanna let him down, is all.”

How many of us, as children, or have watched our friends as kids, have played that game of pleasing the parent and not ourselves? I bet its a lot of you, if you can be honest with yourself.

I’ve had so many writers come into f2k and Writers Village University and say to me point blank, “I’ve always wanted to be a writer!”

And I always say, “So why haven’t you ever taken any action before your seventieth birthday?”

“Well, mom and dad wanted me to be a lawyer,doctor...____________”
You fill in the blank.

Encouragement is a good thing, as long as we know that we’re not putting *our* wants before the person receiving the encouragement. Sometimes people become so selfish with what they want, they don’t realize that their encouragement could hurt or hinder the growth of the individual.

My advice to you, friends. Follow your heart and what it is telling YOU. It’s nice to hear insight from others, but don’t allow it to shape your decision. You are your own person, capable of making up your own mind. Talk to God, ask him if you can and should be a writer. I bet I know what he’s going to say, “YES YOU CAN!”

Please note: If you’ve never had an inkling or ever wanted to be a writer, God might let you know to stay where you are. ;) Also note: If you are not happy doing what you are currently doing, ask yourself, “Am I doing this for me? Or someone else because THEY wanted me to do this?”

Decisions, Decisions...

Everything changes when you change. ~Jim Rohn

Woulda, coulda, shoulda, have to!

Ever run these through your brain.

Have you ever had a decision to be made, only to find that someone else took it upon themselves to make it for you? Can I ask, how did you feel and where did that leave you emotionally?

Me? I run on emotions. I get my fuel from the drinking pool of the Word, but my physical emotional state runs neck and neck with the ‘do this’ pool. I’ve been talking a lot about pools lately. I must miss Texas!

I personally like to make my own decisions. Whether it is to clean, mow, write, mope. These are the decisions I like to make for myself and when someone pipes in, “You have to do (clean)this,” or “You should (write) do that,” or worse, “Joni is going to (get a life) do this...” it always makes me want to run in the opposite direction and do something completely off the wall, you know, just to stir things up in the ‘pool’ of life?

I don’t like someone to tell me or anyone else (gossip) what *I* am going to do, when *I* haven’t even made a concrete decision in what I was going to do in the first place. I don’t like buckling to pressure. I don’t think anyone does. It makes a person feel incompetent in making his/her own decisions.

I remember telling people, I’m going off to become a writer, within a years time, they were like, “Did you write that novel yet? Make any money? You should get a real job! You would be better off. Think of what you could have.”

Yup, it’s the woulda, coulda, shoulda factor.

Pressure shatters me like a delicate vase on the ledge of a windowsill of an opened window. Any minute, I could come crashing down and break into a million pieces. If you’re going to tell me WHAT to do, why not put a vise on my head and turn until my brains pop out?

Yes, I have written a novel, I have a poetry book(s) in the works, my revisions are slow, finding a publisher is next. But will you share the truth of what I just said or will you spin your own take on it?

“Joni has found a publisher!” they say.

“Joni is a writer, and is going to be published. She said so herself.”  they retort.

Love that optimism people. Encourage me to keep it up! Say things like, “I hope you make the right decision.” Help by adding, “I know this decision must be hard and I know you’ll do the right thing.” But please, oh please don’t tell people I am definitely going to do this or that, unless I’ve told you that this is what I’m definitely going to do.

Encourage a writer to write, but don’t discourage them by saying, “You’re not published yet? I thought you were going to do that years ago?” Years ago I said I was going off to become a writer, and yes, that is exactly what I’m doing! WRITING!

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. "~ Franklin D. Roosevelt