A Deadline Looming

Pss. 95:1-2 “O come, let us sing unto the Lord: let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation. Let us come before his presence with thanksgiving, and make a joyful noise unto him with psalms.”

Deadline Looming

You might be wondering how I hold back the fear from creeping into my days and nights. You might also wonder how I can prove that fear doesn’t rule my being. Well for one, would I be able to sleep for eight hours a night if fear was leading me into bed? Would I be a happy-go-lucky face the day kind of gal if I allowed fear to run my days? That’s my proof right there and all the proof I need.

A year and a half. That’s what the oncologist gave me. His exact words were, “I give you about a year and a half to live without chemo.” I don’t know if that’s the type of fear he instills in all of his patients to get them to submit to slice, dice, drugs, and radiation, but in my eyes, it is a brutal fear tactic that wasn’t working on me.

Sure I wanted to crawl in a box and hide, never to be seen again but that was just my way of accepting this diagnosis, knowing full well I was not committing to what TWO oncologists wanted for me. The first oncologist pressed on my tumor and lymph nodes so hard, tears came to my eyes. It was a most painful exam. I had the bruises to prove that it was not a normal way of examining a person but when I complained I heard the ‘pffft’ sound as if my pain was being waved off.

The second oncologist spoke ill of my first oncologist saying, “she’s not right in the head.” This showed me that the only two oncologists in my area were vying for the money and would take great measures to work against one another. I don’t know if that is normal but I do know that BOTH were supposed to be working for ME, not the other way around. 

I set out on my adventure with just a canteen full of water and a backpack. The doctor’s and I had a parting of the ways since they felt I was killing myself and I thought they wanted to kill me, instead of helping me. That’s what it feels like out here in the middle of nowhere like my Lord and me are climbing a mountain alone. All I have is natural water from the stream and the fruits of the earth surrounding me on my journey. I’ve been climbing, step by step to get to the summit, the summit where I’ll declare I’m healed of this dastardly disease.

July 2018 is looming in the shadows, which is the year and a half mark, the mark that I’m still alive and thriving in LIFE. While I’ve lived my life grateful for every twist, every turn, every up and every down, this year is the one I’m most grateful for. I’ve had the chance to see who my true friends and family are that really care, I’ve had the luxury of losing weight that I didn’t even know I needed to lose! I’ve had the wake-up call of a lifetime and am being granted the opportunity to CHANGE! 

We wake up every day with a sunrise and a chance to change our lives. Some choose not to change, some choose to stay the same but will whine and complain consistently, some will wake and want to change but don’t know where to begin. I say have HOPE! There is hope in every aspect of life and if you can’t, won’t or don’t embrace HOPE, you are not embracing life or the chance to change for the better.

When the oncologist gave me a year and a half to live, I gave myself HOPE that only God gets to decide when I live or die. There are many people who choose to guide their own life, make their own decisions on which way to go. Me, I let God decide for me what path I take to reach the summit.

Many people walk in fear. When a doctor gives them an ultimatum, they have no choice but to believe what they say because they were raised to believe that the doctor would never lead them astray. As I watch with eyes wide open at an addicted and overweight nation, I pretty much can see that the doctors have led these people to slaughter. The doctor is choosing when the people will die and that is the bottom line. They hold lives in their hands and I’m not seeing a rise in success stories, I’m seeing a rise in deaths. 

I sometimes amaze myself with which the stamina I have in every waking day. I never wake and think of what can go wrong in the course of a day; I rise, put a few coals on the fire and face the seconds wrapped in the warmth of my Lord knowing each moment will be a day of gratefulness in living. I never allow fear to hold the reins of my life. 

When I view my life, I see black and white, pages and pages of paper with words on them filling in my life story. When I glance out at the world, I see a stack of blank pages. People are blank papers with no story, no gratitude, no life worth writing save for but a few.

I realized something yesterday as we were shopping for our Thanksgiving Day meal; there were stacks of blank pages all blowing in the wind as if a high-powered fan blew them into existence. People not concerned for the person in front of them or behind them, they were more concerned with what was in the palm of their hand, a technological tool that steals their soul and leaves them empty.

I came home from the store to find the gratitude I woke with. I have food, delicious earth formed food right at my fingertips. I have love and hope for every waking day. I’m thriving putting words to paper and living each day to what I deem worthy of ME! While the technology of my life may sit in the backseat for the next seven months, I’ll be driving the healing home where it belongs, thriving in me! This Thanksgiving I will celebrate being alive and eternally grateful for the chance to CHANGE all that has gone wrong inside of me and to face any fear by throwing hot coffee in its face! Take THAT! 

Pss. 23:4-6 “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.”

AMEN! 

Beating Cancer: One Day at a Time

Jer. 17:14 “Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise.”

You Are What You Eat

I think I’m officially a fruitivore, a term I stole from Dr. Morse. I’ve never looked at so many cancer-fighting videos/pages in my life, and more than likely, neither have you. Why, because cancer equals death in many a mind. We’ve been conditioned to believe that cancer is a death sentence, not a second chance to change your lifestyle and eating habits.

Many people hear the word cancer from their doctor and right beside those terms are chemotherapy and radiation treatments. They NEVER suggest a second option or even a possibility of a second option. They themselves have been conditioned, trained, to tell you that chemo is the only way to go and rarely will you find an oncologist that will render ‘other’ options.

You hear those words cancer/chemo and you allow fear to help you make the decision only because you yourself have believed all along that cancer equals death. Did you know that cancer is a billion dollar industry? That’s right folks, along with the pharmaceutical corporations, your cancer is right up there with the biggest money making ‘industry’.  

Doctor’s are not trained to tell you of other option and the only reason is because that is money lost, out the door, not in their pocket! They prescribe meds like a corner candy store and we the people assume they are right because well, that’s what we believe. After being told over a lifetime that doctors know what’s best for us, we begin to believe it and think ourselves less knowledgeable because we don’t hold a diploma from the medical field.

Never before in time has there been so much access to knowledge. Doc’s will say, you can’t believe EVERYTHING you read on the internet, this is true, but as a writer, I don’t take the first lie/truth as concrete, I dig and dig and find multiple places where these facts are. It’s called research! 

Some people are so quick to believe something they just read, they post it on social media without doing a little digging to see if it is the truth! Last year's election proved that lies are not concrete truth! And you know what else, you look like a sucker when you believed all the lies all along. 

That is exactly what is happening with the cancer industry. By the way, how does the term ‘cancer industry’ sound to you? To ME it sounds like I’m being taken for a ride because I have a disease that doctor’s use to make their money. Imagine if everybody sought out alternative treatment, these doctors would monetarily be in a heap of trouble. I imagine their caviar consumption would go down quickly.

Now let me tell you, had my oncologist told me if I don’t get chemo I’d die in six months, I might have jumped at the chemo just because I don’t want to die. It would have been a nice fear tactic and one I might have bought. Forget about all the people leaving this earth at the hands of chemo. But no, the oncologist didn’t tell me that and kind of brushed me off when I mentioned holistic healing as if my body, my disease was not a choice that I’m ALLOWED to decide on how to handle treatment. My instincts told me I was being swindled and I usually listen to my GUT INSTINCTS! 

What am I doing to heal myself? MASSIVELY changing my diet for one.
Every body is different and what works for some, may not work for others. With that in mind my research has led me all over the place in three weeks and what is working for me, is the massive change and added supplements to my diet. I could use more supplements but as I said the other day, no money, no more supplements than what I already have. And this is a two- year program to be completely rid of cancer.

Yesterday I listed all of the supplements I’m taking (yesterday I added a garlic tablet) although I eat gobs of garlic, I still felt I needed more. I’ve modified the diet I’m on to suit ME and the funds I have to spare on it, otherwise, this is all for naught and I might as well go the chemo route and die. 

You see, to ME, chemo is a death sentence, not cancer. Someone said to me something like, “If all that you need is hoity-toity supplements and change your diet, wouldn’t you hear about it more and of the survivors?” You know what I have to say to that? Did you have any idea Trump was going to become President of the United States? No? WHY? Because we are only told what the media and press WANT you to hear! Repeat after me, A BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY!

There are thousands of people out here surviving cancer WITHOUT chemo! Chris Beat Cancer was in stage four! He’s alive twelve years after skipping chemo. There are testimonies all over the internet that support the non-chemo route but you WILL NOT hear about them because the billion dollars they’re making on cancer would collapse and go bankrupt! They can’t allow that now can they? 

I’m going to do a You Are What You Eat series and take you on the journey of what I eat daily. This is just the beginning and this diet is a ninety-day process to see massive change! Three months to know if the cancer is going out the door or whether it is growing and spreading. I think six months of continued therapy MY way will tell me more. It is MY life, MY body and I control what is going to happen. Along with God, my greatest champion, I will either fail or succeed.  If my doctor says something on Tuesday that will change my course of action, then I’ll let you know. Continued prayers as I journey through this.

Jer. 30:17 “For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the LORD; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.”

Poetry Sunday ~ My Mind's Eye

Job 8:16 He is green before the sun, and his branch shooteth forth in his garden.

My Minds Eye
***
In the garden of my mind,
I till, I hoe, but never find.
The beauty that I’ve planted there
the seeds all gone with deep despair.

In the memories I can see
little seeds gazing back at me.
All the ones I forgot to plant
I comb the land and begin a chant.

“Little seed it’s you I sow,
wake up and sing as you grow;
bursting from the dormant soil
may you bloom with little toil.”

Putting all the rows in order
around my mind the visions border.
Full of new things that I’m shown,
plants will thrive once fully grown.

The past is gone, no seeds to mend
new blossoms in my soul I’ll tend.
Forgetting all that's gone before
My new year holds an open door.

Out with the old; in with the new
all the threads that I hold true.
My God is alive and all will see,
fruits of my garden, shine through me!