Where I Go From Here...

Isa. 41:10 “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”

:13 “For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.”

Where I go from here…

If you’re not an expert in the field, then please refrain from judging ME and MY way of healing MY body! Your comments HURT more than help and I am in a very FRAGILE state as I face this cell-biting funk in my body! I’m not here to judge the toxins you put in YOUR body daily, I’m here to judge MY daily intake of toxins.

Expert opinions

“All the so-called natural deaths are nothing but the terminal point of high body acidity,” -- George W. Crile of Cleveland, one of the most renowned surgeons in the world.

“The innumerable names of the diseases are not important, but the fact that they all stem from the basic causes is -- too much acidity in the body.” -- Dr. Theodore A. Baroody, book “Alkalise or die” 

“Increased acidification of the body is the cause of degenerative diseases. If there is an imbalance and the body begins to store toxins and acidity to a greater extent, your body will start to experience diseases “- Dr. Robert O. Young.

Saturday, I unintentionally got knocked down a rung or two by a comment and with my impending new oncologist visit on Monday, it almost knocked me back to square one. A social media fast is in order and if you haven’t bookmarked my blog, then you’ll have no idea I’m continuing to write.

One comment, that’s all it took to get my heart racing and my hands shaking allowing doubt and fear to slither in; albeit unintentional, it kicked me in my fragile butt! Sunday I was a mess, even after a sermon and praise. I don’t like to delete people but at this juncture, I am more focused on MY healing than YOUR feelings. 

Monday morning came and a visit with a new oncologist was in order for the day. My anxiety felt high, but I winged it with a great blood pressure reading and not a tear fell down my cheek!
My GP led me to this doctor last week. This was not HER pick, it was MY pick out of the IBS (IckyBoobSyndrome) doctors available. I looked at the faces, I looked at the eyes and this was whom I chose. Little did I know that he is probably one of the TOP oncologists in the STATE of Nebraska, affiliated with a pretty highly ranked Big C Center. It was worth the forty-five-minute drive to me, to US. 

Someone warned me that this man was pretty adamant about not allowing patients to walk out the door without committing them to Chemotherapy. I was warned so I was ready with what little armor I had (I was weak going in, thanks to the unintentional hurtful comment over the weekend) and the doc was extremely almost forceful (hugging me seven times to sway me?) in making his call of having me commit. He wanted to call my son at home, he demanded I commit now before leaving, or he’d lose me (played the guilt card). Almost two hours of pressure but I walked out, informed, enlightened and aware. This was MUCH better than the first oncologist. And no bruising to show for it today!

What I DID commit to was a PET scan, only for the very reason being, to know if this crud is spreading through my body. I NEED to know as I continue on with my fight. If it is spreading, I may HAVE to do chemo. So I can live. As he put it, without chemo he gives me a year of cancer eating my brains and bones (with my former unhealthy lifestyle, mind you) to live, WITH chemo he was pretty confident an additional fifteen years. He put up a good argument but like I said, I still had my faith and strength in tact! “What’s stopping you?” Doc asked. My hubby, who was in the room with me, spoke up and said, “We need to pray about this! She’s told you her reasons why. Now we need time.” The man was not giving up! 

This is how firm he was. He ordered the PET scan from his office to my local hospital and of all the nerve, he wanted me to visit his office forty-five minutes away after my PET scan to sign up for the chemo!!!! He almost demanded and I said NO! If any of you have had a PET scan you know the twenty-four hour protocol? No eating, no drinking etc.? He needs results before I make ANY sort of commitment because it will change the plan a little that he had set out for me. “Friday, how about Friday?” he demanded. “NO!” I shot back! Pressure! My chest felt a tight pressure closing in on me!

His navigator lady was extremely helpful and very explanatory and also said, “In the end, it is YOUR body! YOUR decision!” I have to remember that I need to stop being a people pleaser for this duration. I only agreed to this visit to appease my GP. I wanted to go back home before entering the office and hubby started the truck and said, “Let’s go!” I told him I NEEDED to hear what this man had to say for my own sanity, good or bad, I NEED to hear it and that I did. 

I left the office with no other commitment but a PET scan on Thursday. He wanted me to schedule a visit for next week but I had to decline so I can see what my husband’s schedule is going to be like. Pressure! Pressing down on me. I do hold in my hand a copy of the results of my tests on January 25, a booklet on the guide to reading those tests and what they mean, and a book ‘Straight Talk about BC’. 

It sure doesn’t feel like MY life and MY decision but I guess this is normal. 
I’d like to add that with each doctor (4) now, they have seen my arsenal of supplements and my new eating habits. I get the feeling they know I’ve done my research and each supplement is targeted at my cells!

I pray that God gives me the strength to hear and follow what He wants me to do and I pray I’m hearing rightly and not blinded by what I want. I need continued prayer from the warriors who’ve been praying. Please don’t let up. Put my name in Prayer requests in all of your churches. PRAY FOR ME! 

Isa. 11:2 “And the spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD;”

Ten Things I Observed In 2016

Num. 16:30 “But if the LORD make a new thing, and the earth open her mouth, and swallow them up, with all that appertain unto them, and they go down quick into the pit; then ye shall understand that these men have provoked the LORD.”

Ten Things I Observed in 2016

1) Every one of US is judge and jury.
(Think about it, you’re judging that statement right there)

2) Not everyone who says they’re a Christian IS a Christian.
(There is still tons of work to be done)

3) Every church is filled to the brim with sinners.
(As it should be. If all were perfect, there would be no need for a church)

4) Politics can destroy sanity and friendships.
(I see many people differently after this year)

5) Opinions are like an anus, everybody is born with one.
(I tried to be discreet here)

6) Life is filled with more questions than answers.
(Age old question, WHY?)

7) Not EVERYONE has all the RIGHT answers.
(They think they do but they are mere fools.)
Proverbs 18:2 (NIV) “A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.”

8) Birds are the most pure in Spirit
(They weather below freezing temps, they know their place, have no opinions, and learned to soar with all that they’re given to survive!)

9) Death is just a transitional phase.
(Those who think otherwise need to do some deep soul searching)

10) IT’S OKAY TO GRIEVE!
(It’s okay to be sad for others who are hurting. It’s okay to be pained by a loss. It is okay to be sorrowful. There is a time to mourn and a time to move on.)

I’ve come to appreciate every second I’m alive, not just the days I make it through. Life is too short to judge the person sitting next to you whether homosexual or not, black or white, etc., these are your brothers that God wants us to LOVE! Love your neighbor as you love yourself. When you judge someone by their looks or sexual preference, the race, religion or color you are judging all the things that you yourself lack. 

Be wise in the New Year but most of all, BE BLESSED!

"There is more to life than what is in front of your eyes. May 2017 be the year that you embrace what you can't see." ~Joni

It Affects The Whole

Job 34:13 "Who hath given him a charge over the earth? or who hath disposed the whole world?"

What you say and do affects the whole!

When someone says, “Oh that don’t affect me.” I seriously believe they are lying to themselves. I try to say I won’t let all of this negative barrage of false information affect me but it has me feeling like a scrambled egg in a hard-boiled world!

I took a much-needed break last week from writing BECAUSE the negativity is wearing me down! I had a cold on Saturday; I call it my once a year cold because I only get a cold once a year. I didn’t get it when Steven had his a month ago but Adam was off of work for his cold and well THAT is the cold that latched onto me like a leech to fresh skin.

With all the negative mudslinging and me trying to get away from it, the cold snuck up on me, sank in and had me feeling not too well so I, the woman who never rest, rested! A much-needed rest from writing and playing into the hateful hurtful hands of a society gone mad.

It can’t be just me but when I was being raised I distinctly remember being told not to talk about money, religion, or politics. The Social Forums have become my ancestors’ worst nightmare where people actually think that THEY can change your mind by filling the newsfeed with HATE!

I’m not force-feeding my Native American friends my religious views nor me their Spiritual views. We have a mutual respect for one another. So why can’t political views be the same? Why the force-fed inundating hate-filled political views? And we wonder why we have such lousy choices to choose from? People, young and old, male and female cannot be civil beings and respect one another, that’s why!

You cannot change my view on abortion by showing me a late term abortion where a living baby is being pulled (yanked) out of a woman and tossed in the trash! Especially after hearing amazing stories by amazing women about choices that had to be made, and they chose wisely! Another friend was told by the DOCTOR (as happens more than YOU know) to abort her baby and she CHOSE to listen to her instincts and not to!

You cannot make me become a republican by trashing the democrats and vice versa! Do you honestly feel you’re HELPING an already destructive warpath? You’re NOT! You’re adding fuel to the fire and I consider you walking merrily with Satan hand in hand looking like a family. A family that hates together stays together!

Why am I talking about this with you? Because your negative infectious antics have AFFECTED ME! I’m sick, I’m tired, and I just want to write about the blessings that this world has and all anyone can do is rant about what they hate in the world. It has literally made my body susceptible to a normally fought off cold!

People are deleting long time friends, people are arguing over the who’s right and who’s wrong in society, cyber attackers are taking down websites, and  scary clowns are turning fun happy clowns into something sinister. Do we really think this is going to end after the November elections are over? I’m afraid not my friends, this is the beginning of the end and I’m going to be off in my own little world with my happy thoughts thanking my Lord for saving me from the chaos about to ensue. 

God be with you all! 

Heb. 2:4 “God also bearing them witness, both with signs and wonders, and with divers miracles, and gifts of the Holy Ghost, according to his own will?”

The Year Ends

1 Thess. 5:4-6  But ye, brethren, are not in darkness, that that day should overtake you as a thief.
Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness.
Therefore let us not sleep, as do others; but let us watch and be sober.

Well another year has come and gone. I posted more this year than last year but less than the year before. Just in case you were interested. Has my year been great? Not really, it’s been about the same as the other years.

I am happy to report that my son graduated high school this year and that was a highlight I’ll not soon forget! The rest of this year whooshed by so quick I can’t remember too much excitement. But I’m okay with that, I’m a quiet gal that doesn’t like the outside world barging into my life, and I’m okay with that too.

While many people are out making resolutions before the New Year begins, I save my new beginnings for the reflective Lenten season that *I* celebrate that culminates in MY New Year.

I know you’re thinking that I reflect a lot and you’re right. You can’t expect God to move you to change if you don’t reflect on what might need changing now, can you? I’m still enjoying the Essay course that I’m taking and I’m still enjoying my position at WVU as a handy-dandy-help mate.

The next couple of months I’ll be reflecting on life, truth and me. Not some truth that man begs for or a truth that man tries shoving down my throat but truth and what it means to me. I’m not going to seek out this truth online or in some storage place that man has formed for himself and wants others to believe in his opinion. No, truth cannot be found in some book of the month. Yes I read the Bible but my faith is not based on just the bible or anything some scientist throws at me as fact. My faith is based on Him and Him who dwells within ME.

Mark 8:18 Having eyes, see ye not? and having ears, hear ye not? and do ye not remember?

I understand opinions are like eyeballs, everybody has them but not everyone uses them (and some can’t) but I like to use my inner eyes for my opinions, not a man made opinion accepted because that’s the flavor the month. Nope, my inner eyes are solely my opinions and rarely accepted or believed as anything BUT my opinion.

I’m very vocal with my opinion because I like to write, so I write my opinion down. I understand that people are human and that they base their opinions on what they SEE and read, can touch and feel but my opinion comes from something greater than what I see with my naked eye. My opinion is grounded in faith and what I FEEL. Maybe this is what God meant with the sleeping man will wake. Maybe he’ll begin seeing with his inner eyes instead of clinging to all the false opinions (not facts) of what others say or write.

Rom. 13:11 And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed.

Imagine a world where people are not so opinionated because of something they read whether in a book, in the news, the entertainment section, on some website, social or otherwise. We would need our inner eyes to see what was right in front of us. Our opinions would then be based on a reality of all we see with our inner eyes manifested into the physical world. I know I’m a rarity and I know this could never happen to ALL men. We just have to all hold on and wait for the day we’re called off this planet into a realm unknown to us. Our opinions won’t matter, all that we read won’t matter and all our human ways won’t be a part of what we become.

Maybe my New Year will be looking inside towards Heaven, because God knows, there is no Heaven here on earth. Earth is but a place for opinions to be formed not a place to shape a soul. A soul can only be formed from the INSIDE.

So while you’re here basking in all the prosperity, in all that you acquired or didn’t acquire, running barefoot and blind through the fields of life, remember it will all be gone in an instant and all you have to hold onto is your soul!

1 Cor. 15: 51 Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,

 

 

 

Lent: Day Thirteen ~ Muslim

Gen 17:18 And Abraham said unto God, O that Ishmael might live before thee! And as for Ishmael, I have heard thee: Behold, I have blessed him, and will make him fruitful, and will multiply him exceedingly; twelve princes shall he beget, and I will make him a great nation

Muslims

Did you just squirm at the mere mention of the word Muslim? Why? Because they’re vile despicable people who maim and torture Christians who also wish you the infidel were dead? Makes sense to me. Well, not really. I don’t understand hatred very well.

Maybe it is just me but when Jesus told us to love our brother, for some reason, I don’t think he meant just our siblings by blood. For some reason I got the idea He meant it to mean ALL of our brother’s and sister’s; red, white, brown, black and yes Muslim’s.

I see so many Christians hating on them and I don’t just mean hating things they do, they hate THEM as a people. Can you imagine people hating us because we’re WHITE Americans? Lumping us all together, or saying, “The majority of you.” (I’m not blind, yes I KNOW white man is not well liked) I wonder why? Hmm…

A Muslim nation is not a nation of haters; they are humans with DIFFERENT ideologies than you. They are humans, the same humans that Jesus would have sat down at His table with and broke bread. They are mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, just like you.

Now your mind is reeling. You’re gathering up some hate to spew at me because how can I, a young Christian woman, be defending Muslims. “How dare her!” you say. Oh I can hear the names under your breath now.

This topic was placed on my heart a few weeks ago when pastor Mike said something about us all being a server of the God of Abraham. The history of the Muslim peoples began with the prophet Abraham and his descendants through Ishmael, his firstborn son. 

Even Muslims believe in the God of Abraham. Are you listening to me? We all serve the same God, so to hate the Muslim people, you in essence hate the son of Abraham and maybe hating Abraham himself, after all he was of Arab descent. All throughout the bible we read from those Arabs and you say you’re a Christian, read and believe the bible? Then did you skip the part where there is not ONE white American in there??? Oh, I get it; you’re a pick-and-choose person. You pick out what you want to believe, hate what you want and do what you please?

So do you hate Jews? Catholics? Mormons? No, just Muslims. Ever since that day in 2001, on September Eleventh you became a judge a jury for the Muslim people everywhere. Forbidden them Mosques, hated their people. Because madmen of an Al Qaeda terrorist group, that numbers less than thousands of people compared to millions of the Arab nation of people, you choose to HATE all Muslim.

I see your posts of “How could they?” Where Muslims are killing children, killing Christians! How dare they! You say, “I’m a Christian, how dare they kill my people!”

Listen to yourself a minute before justifying what you’re saying. You say you’re a Christian, read, believe every word of the bible as truth, and yet you hate what Muslims are doing? YOU are hating God’s people! Yes, I know it is wrong to kill ANYone.

Let me place a scenario here for you. When God was creating the world, he had beside him Angel’s right? One of those angels was satan. Satan wanted things for himself! He wanted the earth, he wanted to RULE the earth, right? He wasn’t allowed to, right? Tempting God’s followers all the way down to this very day was his lot in this world. By hating people or actions you are falling right into Satan’s hands!!!

The Word of God places generations upon generations of Arabs to WRITE the word of the Bible, the very bible that you read and believe every word to be true. Jesus, Son of God came into the world to wipe out your sin; was He a white American by any chance? No, I didn’t think so. You say, “But really, how dare [the Muslim] kill Christians!”

How dare they? Let me tell you how. God formed the world and ALL its inhabitants; He knows what you’ll do today, and what you’ll do tomorrow. How? His master plan! The killing of Christians is all part of his master plan! To say how dare they, you are asking God how dare Him kill Christians! What a mean God! What a vengeful God. Have you read the Word 'persecuted for Christ's sake'? God is mounting up his army in heaven; to hate what He is doing? That is mans pride in you.

During this Lenten season, I see YOU posting hate, posting your judge and jury OPINIONS; does this make you ANY different than those Muslims you hate? You can’t even take one day off from posting hate, during the Lenten season no less; you my friend are no different than the Muslims you hate. YOU are persecuting your own religion Christianity, which to me, is not much different than those ‘Muslims killing Christians.’

Lent is a time to meditate, a time to sacrifice, a time to fast and a time to feast. You are not following the very doctrine that God has divinely given to the world. Nowhere do I see in the bible the doctrine to HATE. Jesus is LOVE. Even His enemy, He loved. Even the killers and murderers He loved. Just as he didn’t give satan dominion over the world, he didn’t make you judge and jury of your fellow man, for a REASON! Unless you’re on a jury, appointed to judge a man/woman of a crime they committed, YOU have NO RIGHT to judge/hate human beings for THEIR choices.

Luke 6: 37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:

If you really believe in the Word you read, than you’ll understand why it was pertinent to LOVE in the midst of hate. My friends, I’m not judging you for the decisions you make, but before you make the decision to become a Christian, know wholeheartedly what it means. The very God who created the Muslims, to SERVE HIM, calls you to be a disciple of His.

Luke 19: 9 And Jesus said unto him, This day is salvation come to this house, forsomuch as he also is a son of Abraham.

Second opinion?

1 Kings18:21 And Elijah came unto all the people, and said, How long halt ye between two opinions? if the LORD be God, follow him: but if Baal, then follow him. And the people answered him not a word.
***

When I write a novel, is my work enough to go ahead and submit? I think when you finish a novel, as many many writer’s will do, they’ll get a second opinion. Stephen King and Dean Koontz both have trusted friends that they turn to when their manuscript is completed.

Sure they’ve re-read the work, edited it, revised a little, but then their gut instinct tells them to let someone with a different opinion read this. It is precious to a writer, their manuscript, and we are not just going to trust our opinion or a family members opinion, on something so precious; we’re going to go with that gut instinct and seek out a second opinion.

So why are writer’s so willing to let their precious art of words, fall into a strangers hand after meticulously finishing a novel? Because we know, we can not bear the burden alone. We know that through a second opinion we’ll get a clearer view of what needs to be changed or fixed.

How come when a medical emergency arises, we take a doctors word as gospel truth? Why are we so willing to put our trust in a man, we barely know, never checked his credentials, his success rate or his ability to perform a major surgery?

I’ve been given ten fingers, so if the doc messes up on surgery on one of them, I have nine more, no big loss. Same goes for my toes. But when we’re talking spinal surgery? I want to know my doctor is up for the chore of performing. Same with my eyes, my liver, my heart. These are tender parts of our anatomy that warrant a second opinion from another doctor.

I know many insurance plans welcome a second opinion from another doctor. If the person was diagnosed, received the wrong info, isn’t really in need of a surgery, then that would save the company a lot of money in the long run. But when you can’t afford medical insurance, you take what you can get.

Take for example my beaus eye surgery. We didn’t have the luxury of choosing a well-known respected doctor, we had to take Lion Lady’s direction, and go to a doctor in Omaha, where the Lions fund the clinic. We get bad news that the left eye is unsalvageable, we get good news that there is a fifty percent chance that the right eye is good enough to have eye surgery, but with further testing. We get the testing, and we need even further testing to make sure the eye can be saved.

Everyone can be heard rejoicing at this news, but really nothing is definite, until we get further testing! Lion lady already called and asked when the surgery was scheduled? Scheduled? Jumping the gun lion lady, WE NEED MORE TEST!

Beau's doctor in Dallas had numerous awards and medical degrees all displayed on her wall. From Boston College to different places across the globe, her training as well as her ability, was visually present for all her patients to see, and for reassurance.

A second opinion can save a lot of heartache of botched surgeries, misdiagnosis, and it can save a writer a lot of uncertainty.

“A bird can not take flight with just one wing.” Joni