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2 Sam. 23:4 “And he shall be as the light of the morning, when the sun riseth, even a morning without clouds; as the tender grass springing out of the earth by clear shining after rain.”

The days leading up to...

The days leading up to a chemo treatment are usually filled with anxiety. I try my meditation, my prayers, my refocusing of daily chores and hobbies, but still, I find I’m normal, in so much that, anxiety leaks through. 

I’ve been having good days filled with a lot of pain at night on my right thigh. I guess this is normal too, one of those lovely side effects. I try to understand what I signed up for but I honestly have no clue. I know I signed up for intravenous Herceptin, with no port, and it has side effects. What does it do? Well, one thing it doesn’t do is cure the Big C! It kind of sings it to sleep. 

Why do people assume that chemo is a cure? Do you not see the commercials from the ACS begging for money to help them FIND a cure? Sure they have treatments to prolong your life, but cure? THERE IS NO CURE! Just had to shout that out to those who are reading.

Here are the  COMMON side effects of Herceptin:

Diarrhea - nope
redness or irritation at injection (IV) site - well duh all needles have some pain/redness
muscle/joint/back pain - YES
stomach or abdominal pain - somewhat
Headache - not really
sleep problems (insomnia) - nope
nausea and vomiting (may be severe) _ thank God NO
weight loss - I sure hope not! Hard enough finding clothes now!
Rash - kinda
altered sense of taste - is that what that is?
mouth sores - nope
loss of appetite - still eating like a pig!
Tiredness - most definitely
cold symptoms such as stuffy nose, sinus pain, sneezing, or sore throat. - Runny nose, does that count?

Tell your doctor if you have serious side effects of Herceptin including:

bone pain,
increased coughing,
swelling of the hands/ankles/feet,
sudden unexplained weight gain,
unusual tiredness,
severe headache,
tingling or numbness (e.g., in the hands, feet, leg),
mental/mood changes, - going through menopause, so yes, before Herceptin days.
fast or pounding heartbeat, and
easy bruising or bleeding.

I don’t know the difference in BONE pain and muscle pain, I somewhat have an idea after breaking my femur. But…

THIS is the other DRUG he wanted me taking and I refused. The COMMON side effects alone scared the pants off of me! 

Common side effects of Femara include:

hot flashes,
warmth in your face or chest,
hair loss,
joint/bone/muscle pain,
tiredness,
unusual sweating or night sweats,
nausea,
diarrhea,
dizziness,
trouble sleeping,
drowsiness,
weight gain,
weakness,
flushing (warmth, redness, or tingly feeling),
headache,
constipation,
numbness/tingling/weakness/stiffness in your hand or fingers, or
pain in your hand that spreads to your arm, wrist, forearm, or shoulder.


I would hate to see what the more serious side effects are! When a trusted doctor tells you the side effects are a lot like menopause I beg to differ!!! Unless I’m a rarity among women!

This is MY choice of estrogen blocker that I showed him last Wednesday to see if he’ll ‘allow’ it in my regimen. I’m not giving him a choice.

DIM partial list of side effects:

This is not a complete list of side effects and others may occur.

One of the supplements used for estrogen dominance is diindolylmethane, or DIM, which is a natural plant-based chemical found in many cruciferous vegetables. The effects of cruciferous vegetables, such as cabbage, broccoli, and Brussels sprouts, are being studied as a treatment for cancer.[1] DIM works to create a healthy balance of estrogen and testosterone in your body and is available in capsules or tablets.

DIM Supplement warnings:
If you have a hormone-related condition, make sure to discuss DIM with your doctor, because it can sometimes block estrogen activity. Taking larger doses can be unsafe; possible side effects of using DIM supplements include headaches and nausea.

DIM Side Effects and Interactions
DIM is considered to be safe when consumed from natural sources at doses 100-200mg daily. Taking larger doses such as 600 mg each day, may cause side effects such as headaches, upset stomachs, and can cause reduced sodium levels in some people

TO ME, DIM is much safer than Femara and does the same thing in a natural way, albeit a tablet form. Yes, I’m still on a plant-based regimen! 

The Day of Dread and Doom came and looking for a chair in the chamber was almost impossible, filled with souls getting poison pumped into their systems, bald and aging, wrinkled and sagging. And then there was me with a puzzled look on my face wondering what on earth I was doing there.

The quick session was over (thirty minutes) and I was promised this one would not be as bad as the first session with the chills and pain. It was a lie as I arrived home, I went right to the bedroom cringed in pain, popping pill after pill to try and relieve some of this tension-wracked pain nursing my body and feeding the angst and desperation I never knew before.

Three hours of crying and wriggling in pain, I finally fell asleep. I woke but didn’t want to. I hurt like I’ve never hurt before. Eight years of arthritis and no meds, pain bearable but now, this pain was exhausting and unending. My mind was not accepting this. I did not in no way shape or form want to finish my life out in this kind of angst that is driving my body into the grave. My mind, almost gone. Is this what menopause is like? I don’t think so. Thank you, doctor, for bending the truth YET AGAIN!

Oh and my DIM supplement? He laughed in my face and offered me up another drug to kill me with less side effects. I said no ten times but his ears were obviously clogged so I appeased him, ok doctor, maybe next visit in three weeks.

It has been almost one week and I still feel like the crab on the ocean floor, sucking down the toxic poisons left behind. I still have my hard shell, I can still crawl and be plucked out of the water at any moment but for now, my body is filtering poison through my system and it’s not a pretty sight. Have you ever opened a crab up? Have you seen the filters and the yellow gunk that you’re told NOT to eat of the crab, just the meat? I don’t even have meat left to eat. I am a shell. My yellow gunk is on display. I have maintained my body weight since September, so I know I'm still fighting! 

My husband and son see this change in me; at their wit's end and hubby being sick with walking pneumonia, this isn’t going to fare well. Mother-in-law came out and I feel like she thinks this chemo is the cure-all I need and is good for me but then not after I tell her how it makes me feel. But then again, no one has a clue of the pain and isolation chamber I feel locked into.

I was strolling along enjoying life. Going to physical therapy three days a week when suddenly the rug was pulled out from under me and I fell, hard. Now, I get to the outside world, if I’m lucky, every three weeks for chemo. A doctor visit here and there. A stare out the window, a walk to the back door, and life going on in every way without me. I’m a shell with two eyeballs looking left and right and wondering, is someone going to get me out of here? 

I wake in the morning and don’t like who I see. I’m filled with anger, disgust, discouragement, hate, bitterness, pain and misery; all of these things are foreign to the me who just a month ago was enjoying the physical therapy, loving life and feeling God deep within every step I took. Now...it’s only fitting that during Lent, the season that is being swallowed up around me, I should be tempted and filled with everything the dark lord stands for. 

I’m here...waiting for the crab net to come swooping down. Run along now...it’s not a pretty sight.

Pss. 95:8 “Harden not your heart, as in the provocation, and as in the day of temptation in the wilderness:”

I’m hanging in here, Lord. Don’t leave me dangling...

Isa. 58:8 “Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the LORD shall be thy reward.”

Poetry Sunday ~ Two Alpha Males

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Gen 4:9 “And the LORD said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper?”

Two Alpha Males

Two Alpha males; stiff raised tails 

Evident hate for one another

Circling around with insolent sound

not friend, not father nor brother.

They’ll never know the daily blow

my soul had to take for them.

They’ll never know the pain although

they pool in their self-made phlegm

They think they’ll undo all that’s done

though no one holds the power

to fill my soul in a crumbled soup bowl

in their passive clouded shower.

Their souls misaligned I can’t define

the mismatched ego's they boost.

No one saw the pain; my time in the rain

Abandoned was I to roost.

Will one of them dare to give a care

for the woman they leave behind?

Grieve all alone, no soul of their own

I’ll soon be gone from their mind.

It pains me to say to this very day

the males make the path they take.

No Omega to roam the place called home

their lives a shattered earthquake.

May one day they see the deserted me

while chancing my love with their dance

I’m not impressed with fist thumping chest

Drifting alone I advance.

God be with you both 

Isa. 40:6-8 “The voice said, Cry. And he said, What shall I cry? All flesh is grass, and all the goodliness thereof is as the flower of the field:

The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: because the spirit of the LORD bloweth upon it: surely the people is grass. The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: but the word of our God shall stand for ever.

The Spirit of Christmas Gone Wrong (a poem)

1 Cor. 16:14 "Let all your things be done with charity."

Spirit of Christmas

Where has all the loving gone

in the hectic busy throng

of people scurried and buried

in the hustle and bustle gone wrong.

The spirit of Christ left behind

nowhere to find the peace

within my mind as all the souls

entwined by greed are blind.

Empty souls filled with hate  

it's clearly too late as your fate 

is sealed in a tomb with no room

for the saving grace to bloom

The spirit of Christmas shed

dead for the One who bled in 

His word we were led away 

from the dread that bears the dead

From where I stand my life is grand

the world is bland in no man's land

flames all fanned by the hate of man

it is with the love of Christ I stand.

The Spirit of Christmas will thrive

strive as I might to stay alive when

the peace surrounds me that I’ve 

been forced from man to survive.

HOPE

Job 14:7 “For there is hope of a tree, if it be cut down, that it will sprout again, and that the tender branch thereof will not cease.”

HOPE

I hear over and over the hope echoing in the world, behind fear there lays HOPE. The haters, the finger-pointers, the name callers (calling someone stupid, whiny, libtard is indeed name calling) are no different instilling fear and anger than anyone else out there destroying property, it’s okay because there are tons of people ready to back up your fear and enmity that you spew with PRAYER and HOPE!

I’d like to see the world bow in prayer. I have hope that the few can change the many. While I was never a part of the massive amount of animosity that people (republicans AND democrats) spewed, I sat back and took it all in and watched as the cookie crumbled, so to speak.

In the movie Oh God when Jerry (John Denver) asked why God chose him to deliver the message to the people, God replied, “why not?” People today do not want to hear that ‘God placed something on a person’s heart’ or hear them utter ‘what God has shown me’ it’s all hokey to them because God isn’t showing them personally anything and it undermines the years they’ve put into this religion and God stuff. 

It isn’t my fault I sense and see things others don’t; I didn’t create me. It IS my fault that I’m so filled with the Holy Spirit that I see hope where disaster lay. I do blame myself for bringing you a message of hope when everyone (believer and non-believer) are wallowing in an ego and arrogant display of one-upmanship in their own life. I also hear bellows of an ‘entitled generation’, to my eyes, you’re displaying the ego generation.

Luke 8:10 “And he said, Unto you it is given to know the mysteries of the kingdom of God: but to others in parables; that seeing they might not see, and hearing they might not understand.”

I’m not going to apologize because I don’t allow outside influences to shape my thoughts and being. My mind is shaped BY the Spirit, FOR the Spirit and my hope lies IN the Spirit!

John 12:45 “And he that seeth me seeth him that sent me.”

I often wonder why I was raised in a bustling city for thirty-some-odd years (Baltimore, Maryland) only to be led to a bigger city for 6 years (Dallas, Texas) to be led out in the middle of nowhere (Nebraska) for seven years, so far. But I SEE the bigger picture, and I’m not asking you to see it. I share it with you but even then you don’t see what I’m trying to show you. Life is like that, a person comes along and tries to help you along and stubbornness and arrogance jump in, to cloud your view and all you allow is your ego to drive you into the unneeded rhetorical hate!

I AM an optimist! I like and I love. I sometimes love so much it hurts and wonder if this is the way Jesus felt. He knew God brought Him into the world, He knew God led His life from infancy, and before. There were believers following Him and non-believers slashing Him and flogging Him, but He STILL walked to the cross to be hung because He had HOPE in changing man so they could live eternally and not just rot and die. He gave us purpose although not everyone can see what purpose they have in this life.

Isa. 41:11 “Behold, all they that were incensed against thee shall be ashamed and confounded: they shall be as nothing; and they that strive with thee shall perish.”

Hope is in the world today in the innocent newborn child. Hope is breathing inside a family that still connects and loves you. Hope is alive and well where LOVE is home to dwell. It isn’t a matter of who’s right and who’s wrong. It all boils down to loving your neighbor, helping a stranger, befriend man, woman, gay, straight, rich or poor. If love is not the first thing out of your mouth upon rising each day and carried with you as you scan the social media and play out your day, then YOU are the same root of the problem you point fingers at.

I myself wish I could bring the Beatitudes of the Sermon on the Mount alive again today but we are too filled with fear and hate to see the HOPE in them! Make the Beatitudes go viral. Share this, I bet you won’t. 

Gospel of Matthew 5: 3-10
THE EIGHT BEATITUDES OF JESUS

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, 
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 

Blessed are they who mourn, 
for they shall be comforted. 

Blessed are the meek, 
for they shall inherit the earth. 

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, 
for they shall be satisfied. 

Blessed are the merciful, 
for they shall obtain mercy. 

Blessed are the pure of heart, 
for they shall see God. 

Blessed are the peacemakers, 
for they shall be called children of God. 

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, 
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."


I will toss what I sense and see out the window like lint in the wind. I will see hope where there is none, I will wrap my heart around the joy left in the world. As I watch what is deemed the Super Moon set in the west like so many summer sunsets, the big bold orb will sleep as the sun rises in the east, there IS hope! Coming over the horizon like a mouse creeping up on cheese, the sun peeks in a slither of a cloudless sky. I’m awakened and greeted with the morn. 

May God Bless you always as you too seek out the HOPE that remains in the world!

Joel 3:16 "The LORD also shall roar out of Zion, and utter his voice from Jerusalem; and the heavens and the earth shall shake: but the LORD will be the hope of his people, and the strength of the children of Israel."

Quotation Saturday ~ Quotes to think about

Pss 16:9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.

CHANGE

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” 
― Leo Tolstoy

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” 
― Albert Einstein

“Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change.” 
― Mary Shelley

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” 
― Lao Tzu

ACCEPTANCE

“No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.” 
― Alice Walker

“to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you've held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.” 
― Ellen Bass

“Hate is a lack of imagination.” 
― Graham Greene

“If God were our one and only desire we would not be so easily upset when our opinions do not find outside acceptance.” 
― Thomas à Kempis

HATE

“I have decided to stick to love...Hate is too great a burden to bear.” 
― Martin Luther King Jr.

“I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.” 
― James Baldwin

“Now there is a final reason I think that Jesus says, "Love your enemies." It is this: that love has within it a redemptive power. And there is a power there that eventually transforms individuals. Just keep being friendly to that person. Just keep loving them, and they can’t stand it too long. Oh, they react in many ways in the beginning. They react with guilt feelings, and sometimes they’ll hate you a little more at that transition period, but just keep loving them. And by the power of your love, they will break down under the load. That’s love, you see. It is redemptive, and this is why Jesus says love. There’s something about love that builds up and is creative. There is something about hate that tears down and is destructive. So love your enemies. (from "Loving Your Enemies")” 
― Martin Luther King Jr.

“When swimming in an ocean of hate, we never see ourselves as the shark.”
~ Joni Zipp

ARROGANCE

“Arrogance is someone claiming to have come to Christ, but they won't spend more than five minutes listening to your journey because they are more concerned about their own well being, rather than being a true disciple of Christ. Blessed is the person that takes the time to heal and hear another person so they can move on.” 
― Shannon L. Alder

“The biggest challenge after success is shutting up about it.” 
― Criss Jami

“Arrogance is a creature. It does not have senses.
It has only a sharp tongue and the pointing finger.” 
― Toba Beta

“A prig is a fellow who is always making you a present of his opinions.” 
― George Eliot

“It may be a species of impudence to think that the way you understand God is the way God is.” 
― Joseph Campbell

DIGNITY

“There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.” 
― Jane Austen

“These are the few ways we can practice humility:
To speak as little as possible of one's self.
To mind one's own business.
Not to want to manage other people's affairs.
To avoid curiosity.
To accept contradictions and correction cheerfully.
To pass over the mistakes of others.
To accept insults and injuries.
To accept being slighted, forgotten and disliked.
To be kind and gentle even under provocation.
Never to stand on one's dignity.
To choose always the hardest.” 
― Mother Teresa

“Self-respect is the root of discipline: The sense of dignity grows
with the ability to say no to oneself.” 
― Abraham Joshua Heschel

“When people want to win they will go to desperate extremes. However, anyone that has already won in life has come to the conclusion that there is no game. There is nothing but learning in this life and it is the only thing we take with us to the grave—knowledge. If you only understood that concept then your heart wouldn’t break so bad. Jealousy or revenge wouldn’t be your ambition. Stepping on others to raise yourself up wouldn’t be a goal. Competition would be left on the playing field, and your freedom from what other people think about you would light the pathway out of hell.” 
― Shannon L. Alder

HOPE

“Those who make us believe that anything’s possible and fire our imagination over the long haul, are often the ones who have survived the bleakest of circumstances. The men and women who have every reason to despair, but don’t, may have the most to teach us, not only about how to hold true to our beliefs, but about how such a life can bring about seemingly impossible social change. ” 
― Paul Rogat Loeb, The Impossible Will Take a Little While: A Citizen's Guide to Hope in a Time of Fear

“Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.” 
― Lemony Snicket

“Hope is such a beautiful word, but it often seems very fragile. Life is still being needlessly hurt and destroyed.” 
― Michael Jackson

“Whether we wound or are wounded, the blood that flows is red.” 
― Eiichiro Oda

Pss.42:11 “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.”

Job 8:13 “So are the paths of all that forget God; and the hypocrite's hope shall perish:”

It Affects The Whole

Job 34:13 "Who hath given him a charge over the earth? or who hath disposed the whole world?"

What you say and do affects the whole!

When someone says, “Oh that don’t affect me.” I seriously believe they are lying to themselves. I try to say I won’t let all of this negative barrage of false information affect me but it has me feeling like a scrambled egg in a hard-boiled world!

I took a much-needed break last week from writing BECAUSE the negativity is wearing me down! I had a cold on Saturday; I call it my once a year cold because I only get a cold once a year. I didn’t get it when Steven had his a month ago but Adam was off of work for his cold and well THAT is the cold that latched onto me like a leech to fresh skin.

With all the negative mudslinging and me trying to get away from it, the cold snuck up on me, sank in and had me feeling not too well so I, the woman who never rest, rested! A much-needed rest from writing and playing into the hateful hurtful hands of a society gone mad.

It can’t be just me but when I was being raised I distinctly remember being told not to talk about money, religion, or politics. The Social Forums have become my ancestors’ worst nightmare where people actually think that THEY can change your mind by filling the newsfeed with HATE!

I’m not force-feeding my Native American friends my religious views nor me their Spiritual views. We have a mutual respect for one another. So why can’t political views be the same? Why the force-fed inundating hate-filled political views? And we wonder why we have such lousy choices to choose from? People, young and old, male and female cannot be civil beings and respect one another, that’s why!

You cannot change my view on abortion by showing me a late term abortion where a living baby is being pulled (yanked) out of a woman and tossed in the trash! Especially after hearing amazing stories by amazing women about choices that had to be made, and they chose wisely! Another friend was told by the DOCTOR (as happens more than YOU know) to abort her baby and she CHOSE to listen to her instincts and not to!

You cannot make me become a republican by trashing the democrats and vice versa! Do you honestly feel you’re HELPING an already destructive warpath? You’re NOT! You’re adding fuel to the fire and I consider you walking merrily with Satan hand in hand looking like a family. A family that hates together stays together!

Why am I talking about this with you? Because your negative infectious antics have AFFECTED ME! I’m sick, I’m tired, and I just want to write about the blessings that this world has and all anyone can do is rant about what they hate in the world. It has literally made my body susceptible to a normally fought off cold!

People are deleting long time friends, people are arguing over the who’s right and who’s wrong in society, cyber attackers are taking down websites, and  scary clowns are turning fun happy clowns into something sinister. Do we really think this is going to end after the November elections are over? I’m afraid not my friends, this is the beginning of the end and I’m going to be off in my own little world with my happy thoughts thanking my Lord for saving me from the chaos about to ensue. 

God be with you all! 

Heb. 2:4 “God also bearing them witness, both with signs and wonders, and with divers miracles, and gifts of the Holy Ghost, according to his own will?”

Time In A Bubble

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Time in A Bubble

“Time changes everything except something within us which is always surprised by change.”  ~Thomas Hardy

Here I sit in an isolated bubble of my own making. I like to think outside the bubble but seriously I feel safer in here and protected by the walls of Christ I’ve built around me that nothing can seemingly penetrate.

Four very important words in your life are love, honesty, truth, and respect. Yes, I know there are many more important words but these four keep me in my bubble. You know why? Because not many people can handle the truth or honesty and I do believe that it earns me respect and love. 

Often I’m labeled ‘weird’ for my intuitive insights but I’ve never allowed it to cloud my judgment when sizing up a person, place or thing. Instead, I let my mind and all of its beautiful intuitive qualities lead me into a greener pasture where no one dares to go.

“Be the reason someone believes in the goodness of people.” I couldn't make out the name of the author who wrote this quote but I’m certain different people have said it many different times during many different eras. This could be my mantra that I dangle in my little bubble. I want people to see a goodness in me and I want that to be one of the reasons they share their goodness with others. 

I was so unlike myself yesterday, waking in a grumpy mood and staying there all the way through the horror movie, The Shining! I rarely watch movies with foul language and nudity, not because I’m better than anybody but it is my preference not to put myself through such a demeaning show of the controlling display that Hollywood/media has gripped the world with for years. But I love a good creepy movie.

But I’m telling you, I woke in such a mood yesterday, I don’t know how my family could stand being around me! First, living out on a farm we’re inundated by flies! We’ve gone through about five or six boxes of fly strips (that has ten strips in it) this season alone. They are getting so aggressive with the weather changing I could swear they were beating holes into my door to gain entry. We’re not talking a fly here or there, we’re talking waking up to at least fifty scattered around on the ceiling and throughout the day, hundreds making their way in the slightest opening of the doors. I won’t put the fly strips in the kitchen and living area but they work back in the laundry area. I’m talking thousands of flies, enough to drive any human insane! My outside wall looks like an animated moving wall!

Then there are the instances that have taken place over the weekend that are also driving me mad. I won’t mention names, I’m not a political person, I just live in my little bubble that I feel is going to burst come November 9th, if you get my meaning. Until then EVERYONE (but maybe one or two) is on a venting WAR PATH! This is so ridiculous I want to seal my bubble with crazy glue so nothing can pop it! Let me tell you, the anger SEEPS. 

Have you ever heard that you can’t unsee what you’ve seen? Well, that is what all the raging is doing to me, seeping into my bubble and I need to shrink into a tiny dishwashing bubble so no one can see the light I emit. They can’t have it! They will dirty the bubble and make me appear as scum. They are not going to make me despise and hate no matter how much they try! There’s really no place for fun anymore in the virtual world, people have all strangely morphed and not in a good way where I want to be around. 

Here's an interesting read from Max Lucado and what he says about Jeremiah. I never saw Jeremiah this way but thank you, Mr. Lucado, for shedding Light to this darkened world and helping me to see things from a wise and different perspective. Thank you.

Romans 8:28 “In everything God works for the good of those who love him” 

I believe I will wake November 9th  and either way this whole clown (literal and figurative) fiasco will be over and my God will still be the Sovereign King of my heart and soul! My bubble won’t burst and I’ll live happily ever after. I will have a clear conscience and feel GOOD about my verbal, mental and physical choices I’ve made this entire election year as well as my entire life!

Prov. 2:9-12 Then shalt thou understand righteousness, and judgment, and equity; yea, every good path.

 When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul;

 Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee:

 To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things;

Quotation Saturday

Eph. 4:18 “Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart:”

NEGATIVE

“Save your skin from the corrosive acids from the mouths of toxic people. Someone who just helped you to speak evil about another person can later help another person to speak evil about you.” 
― Israelmore Ayivor

“Bloodshed begets bloodshed. Hatred begits hatred.” 
― Hiromu Arakawa

“Thoughts are like an open ocean, they can either move you forward within its waves, or sink you under deep into its abyss.”
― Anthony Liccione

“Beware of those who are bitter, for they will never allow you to enjoy your fruit.” 
― Suzy Kassem

POSITIVE

“When you are joyful, when you say yes to life and have fun and project positivity all around you, you become a sun in the center of every constellation, and people want to be near you.” 
― Shannon L. Alder

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.” 
― Ashley Smith

“Do not dilute the truth of your potential. We often convince ourselves that we cannot change, that we cannot overcome the circumstances of our lives. That is simply not true. You have been blessed with immeasurable power to make positive changes in your life. But you can't just wish it, you can't just hope it, you can't just want it... you have to LIVE it, BE it, DO it.” 
― Steve Maraboli,

“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity.” 
― Roy Bennett

IGNORANCE

“Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.” 
― Eoin Colfer

“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” 
― Martin Luther King Jr.

“The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.” 
― Daniel J. Boorstin

“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.” 
― Harlan Ellison

TOLERANCE

“Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the wrong. Sometime in life you will have been all of these.” 
― Lloyd Shearer

“It's an universal law-- intolerance is the first sign of an inadequate education. An ill-educated person behaves with arrogant impatience, whereas truly profound education breeds humility.” 
― Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

“Laws alone can not secure freedom of expression; in order that every man present his views without penalty there must be spirit of tolerance in the entire population.” 
― Albert Einstein

“Don't be in a hurry to condemn because he doesn't do what you do or think as you think or as fast. There was a time when you didn't know what you know today.” 
― Malcolm X

A Break... I'm Not Clay

Pss. 38:10 “My heart panteth, my strength faileth me: as for the light of mine eyes, it also is gone from me.”

A Break… I’m Not Clay

It is with great distress that I need to announce a break. Whether physically or mentally I know myself too well to stick around to watch the hellfires consume the people I love. I want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart who has inspired me to continue writing. This year has been an active place of healing for me, and I thank you with love.

You’ve told me over and over again how I lift your spirits, how you love my honest writing, how it is I that inspires YOU when it is some of you that inspires ME! I look for that inspiration every day in my life but don’t always find it where I look. Am I looking in the wrong places? Apparently yes. 

Facebook is becoming a desert, a desolate place where vultures linger and seek to suck every bit of life out of one living cactus. I’m a very sensitive person to the point the tiniest pinprick causes me to burst in a way I’m not accustomed to. Sorry, I don’t play your little games of ‘popularity’. Games, that’s all it is behind your mask. Well, I’m not clay, you’re not going to shape me into a hater, racist pig. I see people thinking they’re helping by spreading hate but they are a part of the demolition crew that is destroying this world.

Whether it is in YouTube comments or Yahoo comments or on Facebook, the vultures feed off of the sensitivity and I cringe when I hear/read the battle cry of joy when they’ve doused the light of the one shining brightness in a darkened world. They enjoy seeing people in pain. It is some kind of sickness that they embrace and I totally need to step away, to breathe.

A reality hit me last week when I had the pleasure of listening to this tiny little twelve-year-old, Grace VanderWaal, sing her heart out. 

One of her songs went like this:
I don’t know my name
I don’t play by the rules of the game
So you say I’m just trying
Just trying… to find my way.

Another of her songs Clay was one of my favorites. It touched me in a place that not many long time experienced writers touch me and here was this little girl, thinking she couldn’t sing, taking the world by storm and marking her spot in history. The elite vultures are going to devour her and place the obstacles of fame and popularity on her doorstep and while she has loving parents to protect her, they can only do so much.

“Your silly words
I won't live inside your world 
Cause your punches and your names
All your jokes and stupid games
They don't hurt
No they don't hurt
Watch them just go right through me
Because they mean nothing to me

I'm not clay” 
~ 12-year-old singer/songwriter Grace VanderWaal lyrics 

Like me wanting to protect people from their harsh reality of prejudice, racism, bigotry and hypocritville, people fall victim day in and day out and there is no protector. Sure they claim they have God as a protector, but too many times I see them as food for the vultures more than I see the Living God in them. They are being devoured and I have a weak stomach for mangled flesh.

Yesterday my stomach churned as if I was on the Zipper at the fair. I watched a good movie but it wasn’t enough to help relieve the motion sickness I felt in my stomach for mankind. Satan is trying to attack me from every angle whether it is my son (who will be out of his new job in two months due to the store closing down) or my love of nature; my ceramic birdbath fell yesterday cracking like a clay vase falling from the thirteenth floor with irreparable damage. Then there is the loss of respect for friends I once admired and looked up to as they slither in the snake pit, now I only see a darkness shrouding their beings. It’s all too much for me to bear and TRY to be a positive light in these dark and solemn times. I need to re-energize.

Maybe a break will help. Maybe I’ll unplug the computer completely and just vanish in an air of shrouded mystery. Maybe a day or two will be enough or maybe I need more time, only time will tell, eh? I need to breathe and only my commitments will stay while I take a step back from virtual reality. It’s not and never was a nice fit for me. TO ME, the virtual world is a huge department store on Black Friday filled to capacity with nude mannequins. I see a human off in the distance but I’ll never reach them because the mannequins will topple on top of me and smother me to death.

When I feel the anger and negativity start to boil over like water left on the stove, and I begin to lash out with hatred in my veins I know it’s time for me to get away from that which sickens me. I won’t be molded and formed into the hate-filled people that seem to run the virtual society. People are vicious and they hold no shame. Me, I’m ashamed of this place. I need to breathe because I’m NOT CLAY!

Author's note: *
*sorry Mike, I tried to see the good in a damned world. 
* I'll continue writing, bookmark my blog 

Deuteronomy 31:6 KJV 

Be strong and of a good courage, 

fear not, nor be afraid of them: 

for the LORD thy God, 

he it is that doth go with thee; 

he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.

Quotation Saturday ~ Family

Quotation Saturday

FAMILY

“All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.” 
― Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

“When God Created Mothers"

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said. "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one." 

And God said, "Have you read the specs on this order?" She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts...all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands." 

The angel shook her head slowly and said. "Six pairs of hands.... no way." 

It's not the hands that are causing me problems," God remarked, "it's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have." 

That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. God nodded. 

One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, 'What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word." 

God," said the angel touching his sleeve gently, "Get some rest tomorrow...." 

I can't," said God, "I'm so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick...can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger...and can get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower." 

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed. 

But tough!" said God excitedly. "You can imagine what this mother can do or endure." 

Can it think?" 

Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator. 

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. 

There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model." 

It's not a leak," said the Lord, "It's a tear." 

What's it for?" 

It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride." 

You are a genius, " said the angel. 

Somberly, God said, "I didn't put it there.” 

― Erma Bombeck, When God Created Mothers

“You must remember, family is often born of blood, but it doesn't depend on blood. Nor is it exclusive of friendship. Family members can be your best friends, you know. And best friends, whether or not they are related to you, can be your family.” 
― Trenton Lee Stewart

“Unfortunately, some family members are so psychotic that no matter how hard you try to forge a healthy relationship, nothing will help. Now that you're an adult, take refuge in the fact that some things are beyond your control. You owe it to yourself to steer clear of people who are harmful to your health.” 
― Andrea Lavinthal

“This, after all, was the month in which families began tightening and closing and sealing; from Thanksgiving to the New Year, everybody's world contracted, day by day, into the microcosmic single festive household, each with its own rituals and obsessions, rules and dreams. You didn't feel you could call people. They didn't feel they could phone you. How does one cry for help from these seasonal prisons?” 
― Zadie Smith,

DYSFUNCTIONAL

“It's my opinion, with some people, just knowing they are alone, living inside of their own miserable, self hating, dysfunctional mind, with their own immature, insecure, self pitying self is its own revenge. Their existence is their karma.” 
― Colleen Truscott Fry

“This is what we desire in intimate relationships but this deep connection is often so frightful that most do not take advantage of the opportunities presented for honesty.” 
― David W. Earle

“The dysfunction we are facing cuts deep into our social and moral values. Solutions are plentiful, but responsible co-creation is not (yet). We can no longer solve the many challenges by simply coming up with quick fixes. What we require is a transition in the way we co-create and experience reality. To step on the path of recovery and growth, we must establish clear and definitive objectives: 

- Institute effective and righteous democratic processes;
- Hold politicians, governments, and corporate entities, in particular, the financial sector and the media responsible to society;
- Reduce global inequality and improve collaboration;
- Improve relations and trust between various nations and groups;
- Simplify legislation and invest in a holistic education for all;
- Raise the value of righteous behavior and lessen the importance of material wealth.

To achieve this we don’t need a revolution, we need responsible evolution! There is only one path that leads to long-term prosperity: the path of truth. It doesn’t demand responsibility; it embodies it.” 
― Joseph Rain

When The Cock Crows

Matt. 26: 34 “Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, That this night, before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.”

When the Cock Crows

Every morning before the sun peeks it’s lovely head over the horizon I hear something off in the distance, a rooster bidding me good morning. I always think of those words Jesus said to Peter, that he would deny him three times before the cock crows.

I often think of the bustling world out there. People rising from bed, going off to work, eating, coming home, sleeping to do the same tedious routine over and over again. Many people get into the mundane routine daily denying Christ. They don’t think they’ve been denying Him because hey, they read the bible, pray for people, go to church. What else could there be?

I feel like I’ve been picking on the Christian faith lately and I’ve prayed about why God is calling me to write what I write. I get this answer, “Because they are denying Me.” Well thanks God, could you give me a little more to go with? Then I wake up, hear the cock crow and on my heart is writing as I breathe in the morning air.

What does God mean when He says they are denying me? Think about it, what did Jesus mean when He told Peter? He knew that His beloved Peter would claim not to know Him in his WORDS and his ACTIONS! One night Peter is declaring his undying love, claiming he’d walk through fire for Jesus, then when Jesus needed his support the most, he denied knowing Him.

This is what has become of the Christian faith. People claim to follow Christ but in all of their actions and words they are denying Him on a daily basis! Sure you can place a little fish bumper sticker on your car to declare you’re a Christian but as you load up the car with a case of beer, what is that SHOWING the world? That you’re just buying booze for your mother? Why not, she’s a Christian too, right?

I do understand the whole drinking in moderation but when it becomes a weekly bout of inebriation is that what the Bible meant when it said ‘drink and be merry’?

Luke 12: “And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.”

When Jesus declares ‘bridleth your tongue’ did he want you to cross your eyes and look at yourself sticking your tongue out? No! He meant that what comes out of your mouth will show your true identity in Christ. What you show the world is how you show Christ in you. The mask you hide behind in your daily routine is denying Christ. Imagine Peter when he wasn’t
surrounded by his friends in Christ, trembling and shaking when it came time to declare knowing Him. 

James 1:26 “If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.”

Is drinking alcohol denying Christ? No. Is disobeying the Ten Commandments denying Him? Not at all. Is denying Jesus [in you] to the world denying Christ? You bet. 

Mark 12:30 “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.”

33 And to love him with all the heart, and with all the understanding, and with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love his neighbour as himself, is more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.”

The people of the world are so busy conforming, trying to fit in, and one-upping their neighbor for popularities sake, they lose the Christ in them and are content with just knowing Him. Here it is in a nutshell, just knowing Him is in essence denying Him. To love Him with all of the heart, all understanding, strength, and to love thy neighbor as you LOVE THY SELF! 

If you hate a person just because their values don’t agree with yours, that is hating your neighbor. I pray for the souls who don’t understand what it means to have Christ in them, shining out ward to the world so that the world sees Christ IN YOU! 

Matt. 10:33 “But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.”

While Jesus showed anger at the demoralizing of the church, He did not HATE the men [neighbor] who hung him on the cross. What you see around you in the world today is the cock crowing, the world has denied Christ. Through images and idol worship, through the demeaning demoralizing of the Church, Christ is being denied. Through your actions and words you have denied the living God.

May God have mercy on you, bless and keep you. 

Thank you Lord, for allowing me to be a messenger.

Prov. 10:20 “The tongue of the just is as choice silver: the heart of the wicked is little worth.”

I Think Too Much

Matt. 26:53  "Thinkest thou that I cannot now pray to my Father, and he shall presently give me more than twelve legions of angels?"

Wow, Joni thinks too much, who’d a thought that? Well, my dear, sweet friends that’s who! Boy, when you’re feeling discouraged or depressed they make sure that frown is turned upside down! Apparently, I think too much and should just write about it so here goes. 

I could allow memes to speak for me but where is the originality in that? I could also allow a copy/paste guilt trip to speak for me but where is the sincerity in that? I mean a meme here and there but a constant stream of memes becomes tedious in just the action it takes when my fingers could be used typing a blog post or writing a novel.

I’m not judging the people that do the meme stream, sometimes people have nothing to really say and it can become easy to allow someone else to do the thinking for you via the meme-stream. I was once that person until I was God-slapped into waking up. I usually try to allow bible verses or quotations to express the way I’m feeling or sometimes I open my mouth and my fingers let out what is considered truth-nobody-wants-to hear. Is that a bad trait? Nah, its justice to my soul is what it is!

The meme-stream opened my eyes when ‘your memories on facebook’ popped up every day. I’ve tried to close it down but it keeps popping up but you know what, they’re not my memories. They’re just some beautiful meme I shared years ago and I realized I allowed someone else to speak for me and that isn’t a memory because I can’t for the life of me know what I was thinking or doing when I shared the image. 

We’re living in a world where we’ve grown accustomed to others speaking for us because basically, that is all that social media is, a stream of thoughts, even if they’re the thoughts of people you’ve never met, the meme stream is the ‘in’ thing. Now, what could be wrong with a society that is full of people not thinking for themselves? Well, we’ll see when November rolls around, won’t we?

We’re all so pre-occupied with the meme-streaming that something is happening out in the REAL world that has gained control and nobody has the time to take action because the reins of the meme-stream are ruling over them. The reason people believe the lies are because they are fed the lies in ticker-tape fashion through memes disguised as truth. Society disappoints me more and more on a daily basis than it does in giving me hope for the future. 

I love the pictures that people take of their family (pets are family), their gardens, their weekly excursions with camera in hand. That gives me hope as I visually see the beauty being flooded in from their lives into my little neck of the world. A meme doesn’t give me the same hope in the world since more times than not they’re just used to click-bait the naïve so some megalomaniac can make money off of ad revenue. A vicious cycle if I do say so myself. And the language, goodness gracious me oh my, people post anything! The F-bomb, S-bomb, A-bomb; I realize so-called Christians could care less what they share with the world and allow people to see who they REALLY are. Yes people, Christians curse like sailors and drink like them too. 

Now back to my thinking too much. This is clearly the truth. Why should I care if people live and love the meme-stream? Why should I care what the so-called Christians are doing? I only care because I see a diminished society being ruled not by their world around them but by social media. I love my friends and care a little about facebook since all of my friends reside there. I love communicating via the written word (my blog) but I am totally done with ‘this day in history’ because guess what, nothing happened five years ago that I can share, that are my own thoughts.

I have one or two, five friends tops that convey their day via WORDS, the other eighty some friends meme-stream and I have to wonder, do they even know I exist? They probably do but more than likely block me so they don’t hear my tales of this God and Son that I’m addicted to. I’m okay with that. I’m okay with screaming into the emptiness of space and time and no one noticing. 

I try to lift the spirits of other people but sometimes I get bogged down and distracted by the meme-stream so I have to withdraw for a bit so I can rebuild my strength. I live to write and share my words, uplift not bring people down. I live to live and embrace whatever God throws at me on any given day and no friends, my days are not spent on facebook, twitter or any other meme-stream forum.

The season of slumber will find me reflecting on the previous months in the year, the truths that I’ve shared, and what’s going on in today’s world means to me. When you look at me and read my words, don’t see a hypocrite, don’t see a so-called Christian, see God in me and that’s it!

God bless!

Adopted

Eph. 1: 4-6 According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.

Adopted by Christ

I was not physically adopted. I was actually born into a big enough family and being the baby, my brothers and sister set out to insult me and belittle me and make me feel as if I was an unwanted adopted child. I looked for someone to love me and value me as a child and I only found unconditional love from God. That really set me apart from the family because they all were set in their ways and had their own beliefs so when I was in ninth grade and became a born again Christian my family of  (in name only) Catholics didn’t take to the announcement of my conversion too well.

They all deemed me brainwashed, that the school I was in was a sinister cult because they were teaching me about Jesus. They thought that the family of Christians in my school was teaching me of the dark places that I would be tempted to go when all they offered me was an outlet; the protection of a God who wanted nothing in return but me as His child. Wow, how sinister yes?

Adoption is a conscious choice to make someone a part of the family. I consciously was choosing God over my blood family. Did this decision keep me from going down a darkened path? No way, you have to remember I had a big family (aunts and uncles too) that were all alcoholics, it was the norm. No one stood outside the realm of the family circle to stand up and say ‘protect this child’ but I knew with every fiber of my being, that God was the one and only who was going to protect me.

I never realized the dark force had such an enormous pull on every being around me. When my old friend called last week and said, ‘you were never allowed to be a child.’ The flashbacks came flooding in like a dam bursting open unleashing the darkened waters that tried to drown me.

No one knew that I walked in fear for most of my life. They didn’t care to know, what they did want to know is what I could do for them on any given day. Whether it was babysitting, cleaning, or supplying them with what they needed. Yes, I was a Cinderella thrust into an entire family of ugly stepmothers.

People wonder how it is that I became so close to God and wanted to tell the world about Him. Well let me tell you, when you walk barefoot on coals of fire through the pits of hell and God is the only one that stretches out His hand and found you worthy of being saved, you’d want to tell the world too. 

I’m sure you’ve read stories about people donating hearts to save a life and the recipient wants to meet the family in person to thank them? Or a rescuer who pulled you out of a car sinking in floodwaters, you need to see that person again face to face to shout out a thank you and hug them for their unconditional act of kindness. That’s what God has been to me, a life preserver, literally. My rescuer whom I HAVE to meet face to face but in the meantime, I’ll tell the world about Him.

“The highest reward for man’s toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it.”

~ John Ruskin

After the expanse of my rebellious childhood, if that’s what you want to call it, where alcohol was on hand by eight, marijuana by age ten then a host of other drugs were scattered in my path and I could have become like the addicts you see wandering the streets today. It wasn’t until I overdosed at twenty-one on whiskey, (yeah, death and the whole out of body experience) was I able to open my eyes to a brighter Light that saved me and I would tell the world of this Man that reached into the depths of death and pulled me out, saved me and shaped me into the woman you see (or read) before you today. 

Some people had parents that guided them to the straight and narrow; some had mentors that piloted their route but me? I had an all-loving God who saw in me something I could not see myself. God made me feel chosen, accepted, valued and loved whereas my biological family made me feel – just here.

Sometimes life is like that, you are placed in a loving, caring, nurturing family while others get placed in the center of a tornado and made to fend for themselves. But I’ve found through very many of the years of my life that it was only through the storms that I was being groomed by an ever-loving God who turned this mess into able-bodied lover of Christ WILLING to spread a message of LOVE across the many channels within my grasp. He has never given up on me and I will NEVER give up on Him. I just gently await the day I get meet this Savior, face to face. I day I was adopted by Christ was the best day of my entire life. 

Deuteronomy 26:18 "The LORD has today declared you to be His people, a treasured possession, as He promised you, and that you should keep all His commandments;”

My life was never perfect

Nor did I claim it be

Maybe people will love me

When they read my history.

~ Joni ~

Rose In The Rubble

Deut. 22:9 “Thou shalt not sow thy vineyard with divers seeds: lest the fruit of thy seed which thou hast sown, and the fruit of thy vineyard, be defiled.”

The Rose in the Rubble

The world has become stone-faced in the face of crime, disaster, death and destruction. Nothing is shocking anymore and so many choose to look away. They’re more concerned with the clothes they wear or the shoes that will carry them but they turn a blind eye to all that is wrong in the world, finding it easier to overlook the rubble so all they see is the rose.

Imagine God during creation with a handful of seeds that he released to the earth. Let’s say the seeds were human beings. He fertilized by just breathing His word on the brown gritty earthy soil, stirred the land so we would be well planted, watered us and watched us grow.  
Some of the seeds that were scattered fell between the rocks, never really taking root by being nurtured by Him. Some fell on the sand again not being rooted in the strength He gave them. Others grew on the fertile soil, these are the upstanding righteous few who walk ROOTED in His Son. 

Do you see where I’m going here? 

Matt. 13:3-9 (KJV) “And he spake many things unto them in parables, saying, Behold, a sower went forth to sow;
And when he sowed, some seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls came and devoured them up:
Some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth:
And when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away.
And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them:
But other fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold.
Who hath ears to hear, let him hear.”

Satan is a deceiver and a distracter. When all you can taste is bitter political vengeance on your tongue, when you keep your eye on what ISIS is destroying or maiming on any given day, when all that you hold in your hand is sand that slips through your fingers, you are being led by the one and only dark one. He has his eyes on you and is feeding you. He is reaping what he’s sown and you are planted right where he wants you, amid the rubble.

When I think of my son and how he has turned away from the church all I can think of is what I did wrong but then again I think of all that satan has done right. He led him,  along with an all too willing society, away from God. And no it isn’t just my son who was easily led away; he just wasn’t rooted right. There are many and I mean many who have been led away all because of society and the media’s choice of what is front and center and more important, the ‘ME Generation’. Some who are rooted on much stronger soil is fully aware of the lure of satan but as for me and my house, we serve the Lord. (My house meaning my body, my temple).

Take note, that just because you are led away does not make you a bad person destined for hell. I know too often people tell me that that is the very reason they were led away because the Christians made them feel they were destined for hell no matter what they did right. Hey, even Christians can distort the truth just like the media. I know I’ll catch backlash for that one but it is true, think Westboro Baptist church versus Billy Graham Ministries. 

The so-called Christians aren’t so perfect and made for heaven either, can you imagine if every single so-called Christian acted like God himself was sitting next to them as they posted on their wall on facebook? Would you see so many lies and mistruths then? No, all I see is satan’s hand guiding the posts on facebook, unless of course if you’re posting my blog. [wink wink]

Before judging me on my poor parenting skills and telling me what I have to do to make my son ‘right in your eyes’, why not look in the mirror, better yet, look at the last years posts on facebook and tell me that YOU are any better than anyone else. Satan has many of us deceived.

I don’t proclaim to have all of the answers to what is wrong with society but I DO have eyes to see (too many weeds) and ears to hear (not enough singing His praise) and I know that satan is pulling on the minutely detailed reins and you’re following just like a puppy needing a place to fit into a family. Don’t hide behind Christianity as if it is some form of agenda for you to fit into society. Look for the rose in the rubble, but be aware, the rubble is there for a reason.

Isaiah 26:8-9 (NIV) “Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts. My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you. When your judgments come upon the earth, the people of the world learn righteousness.”

Peace Through War?

2 Timothy 3: 1-5 “This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

Can we find peace in war?

A simple meme with a child in an Army hat on facebook draws out the roaring crowd; the words anything war can do, peace can do better. Yeah, memes feed my writing these days. The ones I agree with and ones I disagree with.

“Anything war can do, peace can do better.”

Full names hidden to protect the innocent.

Comment from James: “Si vis pacem, para bellum is a Latin adage translated as, "If you want peace, prepare for war". What this means is war is inevitable and peace will never last. So no matter how good peace sounds, sadly there will always be war.”

Comment from Hannu: “It's more like a question about constructive or destructive thinking. I guess war is a good business for some ...but how much good does it really do? Revenge leads to another revenge...it's endless...

Building bridges is better than building walls.

Utopia ? 

So what is it worth to win a battle if the war still gets harder and harder? That's what is happening now...nobody wins...”

Glenda wrote: “If only that statement were true. Wonderful young men & women who have served in our military who have lost their arms & legs. Lost their lives. To protect Americans & their freedoms against those who kill Americans. This post is irresponsible.”

John wrote a well thought out comment: Whenever I see discussions on-line promoting peace in the world, the path to peace is nearly always expressed in ways that indicate that peace must begin with us, and then the world will of course, become peaceful overall. This “peacefulness” as a practice frequently is promoted as a process of Spiritual Passivity, like that observed by practicing Buddhists.

Some 5 or 6 years ago as a result of this topic continually coming up in a discussion group that I facilitate I wrote a (somewhat long) article named: “An Argument Against the Development of Passivity as a Spiritual Practice”, that some might want to check out.

About a third of the way down in the article I state:

“The fact that we must be aware of is that the overwhelming majority of our fellow inhabitants of this planet neither understand, nor are much interested in understanding, our interest in developing a sense of detachment. As a result, they can misinterpret one of the aspects that manifest in an individual as they develop a sense of Detachment through Denial”…

…“The appearance of “outward passivity” has become a prominent goal in many of the Westernized Yogic and New Age Philosophies. It has been promoted as a character trait to be prized and developed on its own, rather than recognized as an outer manifestation of an inner development.” 

“The snag is that Passivity developed as a personality trait alone can actually draw conflict.”

Wow. There are some intelligent comments when you scan facebook but a lot of the times the people are so filled with rage you begin to see why we don’t live in a world where peace is an option.

Last night we watched a movie called The Giver. I’m not into sci-fi but this one had a Tomorrowland feel to it and since I liked that one so much, I gave The Giver a shot. It was not a bad premise. The world had been changed and taken over, minds were erased and there was no hate, war, jealousy, anger, you name the emotion. People-bots floated around in a pristine controlled-life living and raising only children who were worthy. 

Also gone was love. The feeling of love. One person was to receive the memories taken and stored with the Giver and wouldn’t you know it, the chosen one was a rebel going to defy the leader of the new world.

By the end of the movie, I realized something and it might only make sense to me but with everything going on in the world today it struck me as ironic. Without love, you can’t feel hate and with hate gone, you can’t know love. We watched the movie World Trade Center the other night and I believe the end words were:

John McLoughlin: [Narrating] "9/11 showed us what human beings are capable of. The evil, yeah, sure. But it also brought out the goodness we forgot could exist. People taking care of each other for no other reason than it was the right thing to do. It's important for us to talk about that good, to remember. 'Cause I saw all of it that day."

That says it all. While the darkness tries to smother you, while hate tries to take over the world love and compassion will rear its head and you’ll feel what all the angst is for, for us to find LOVE!

Rev. 19:14 “These shall make war with the Lamb, and the Lamb shall overcome them: for he is Lord of lords, and King of kings: and they that are with him are called, and chosen, and faithful.”

Tomorrowland

The Giver

World Trade Center