A Healing Journey: Understanding now...

Pss. 118: 23 “This is the LORD's doing; it is marvellous in our eyes.”

A healing journey: Understanding now…

What I didn’t know then

Ever since this healing journey began which pretty much feels like most of my life, flashbacks. Flashbacks are the instances you thought you long forgot but something triggers a memory and you wonder, where did that come from? I believe it is all part of the healing plan and releasing the old baggage to pack a new one filled with the good arsenal that remains. I’m beginning to understand now what I didn’t know then.

When I was diagnosed I kicked into research mode seeking out the causes of this disease and remedies because I knew that nothing I did in life was of the conventional method. I knew from the very beginning that the unconventional route was going to be my journey so I set out on a mission of research and understanding. The first thing I stumbled on was stress. Stress happens to be one of the main factors of many diseases we now know to inhabit our bodies. 

From the outside, you might look at people and say, ‘they don’t look like they have stress’ or you might think, ‘I don’t have any stress’. Allow me to tell you, we ALL have stress that has built up solid walls inside us that if not tackled and taken down WILL surface as an illness now or later in life. While PTSD is a well-known stress ‘disorder’, not reserved just for soldiers, people are reluctant to admit to their own stress disorder lurking like a shadowed grim reaper.

From the Science Daily link:
"Effects of stress on regulation of immune and inflammatory processes have the potential to influence depression, infectious, autoimmune, and coronary artery disease, and at least some (e.g., viral) cancers," the authors write. 

There is PROOF that stress triggers autoimmune disorders. Stress is linked to many other cardiovascular illnesses also. Just type stress and autoimmune into your ‘search’ box and see what pops up. Stress is a leading factor of death. The trick here is to not rely on drugs to assist you in healing. Drugs may be important for some things but not good as pacifiers that are only going to continue to disguise your symptoms. Later on, when you realize the drugs are not helping, you’re going to need to actually mentally DEAL with what caused the stress to begin with, one way or another.

For me, it’s in the way of flashbacks. I’ve had tons to deal with over my life but not as much as many other people, I know, but of course looking from the inside out mine is always bigger. I’m sure everyone feels that their stress is bigger than anyone else’s too. It’s like all this snow we’re getting in the beginning days of spring. Winter and Spring are having a wrestling match and since Spring moved into winter territory for years, winter now feels entitled to waltz right into spring terrain! My winter looks worse because I’m here living through it but when I look out at the world, this winter is mild compared to other states.

While healing from stress you need to look from the inside out. I thought I’ve cleaned out this closet so well that I could now head into an adventure filled path of healing. That’s funny because the more I clean out, the more secret compartments I find to dig into usually in the form of flashbacks. Just one little trigger memory exposes the hidden door. I believe this is where any prescription drugs you are taking masks the hidden compartments and you can’t find a complete healing. Doctor after doctor, therapist after therapist, there will be no healing as long as you’re on drugs; the compartments stay medicinally hidden.

I don’t have the luxury of drugs pacifying my memories and burying portions of my past. The shadow of doors are all open, it’s just a matter of seeing what is behind each one so I can face it head on, release the trauma, and edge my way to a healing spot in my journey. Recently, the further I climb down the rabbit hole the more flashbacks surface and expose an event I overlooked. Now where did that come from I think to myself, but then I know it is all part of the Master’s plan and a big player on my healing journey.

While I’m on the healing path I look out at those who are essentially stricken with the need to kill themselves on the drug route and face death. My brother, who fractured his hip over a month ago, was told he needed surgery. They’ve tried weaning him off alcohol and Oxycontin [gave him a different lethal drug], cigarettes [gave him the patch], and gave him physical therapy to try and mend the too far gone bones in his body. They told him not to walk on his one leg or it will put too much pressure on his already weakened legs. Word came through the wires that he is not listening to anything they’ve told him. How frustrating to hear. Nobody wants to listen and adhere. They all want to be part of the herd. 

I was told that chemotherapy might add a year or two to my life and the stubborn (or sound?) woman in me scoffed at their offer of drugs that would kill me quicker than any alternative route. I’m sure people laugh and shake their head at me, as they pop yet another pill. I’m sure there are people out there feeling like chemotherapy saves lives, but they’re also waiting for the bomb to drop that well, guess what, the disease is back, the pacifier failed.

As my flashbacks open further doorways in my healing, I hurt for the many who basically live with all of the doors closed and are only willing to follow the herd. I crave life and living while they feed off of neutrality. I long to stand firm and walk on my path while others take the train. I wonder if they knew now what they didn’t know then would anything change, or would they allow fear to reign?

A quote from a Dr. Coldwell:
"Needle biopsies, for example. People need to understand that a tumour is there to save your life. When your body is full with poison, toxaemic and acidosis and you are basically going to die of that poison – your body builds a bag and collects all the poison from your body into this bag, which they call a tumour. So the body did all the work. And now they come and they say "We need to do a needle biopsy." and pinch into this highly toxic tumour; which of course now explodes and pours all the poison into the body. And then they say "You have a very fast growing, very aggressive form of cancer." They GAVE it to you. They created it.

And most cancers disappear on their own anyway, because about 7-10 times, everybody has cancer in their lifetime. If you don’t become unlucky enough to fall into the hands of a medical professional and get a test done and they tell you that you have something bad going on; and the very next day, can start murdering you with chemotherapy, which is based on mustard gas. Mustard gas is forbidden after the Geneva Convention as a war chemical; they put it into your bloodstream and radiate you to death. Or cut you surgically – which always spreads the cancer." – Dr. Leonard Coldwell

"Cancer is not an illness – cancer is a symptom. These cancerous growths, the cell growths, whatever it might be, that we don’t want in our body, is a symptom; it is not the cancer. So cutting the symptom out does not resolve your problem, at all. And that's why it reappears. Or why they kill the entire body with chemotherapy for two years. Now, anything shrinks. Your organs shrink, the brain shrinks – and the tumour shrinks. Because they dehydrate the body. So now, at the same rate at your organs are shrinking, your tumour is shrinking. Now they say "It's working. The tumour is shrinking." It's [chemo] one of the biggest frauds ever." – Dr. Leonard Coldwell

Clearly - Grace Vanderwaal

The Stress Factor

John 4:18 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.”

The Stress Factor

When I began this journey, it all began with fear. The doctors used the fear strategy and failed, the ominous lump visually elicited fear, negative feedback from friends pushed the fear button, abandonment from what I thought were close friends, and the no-care family wasn’t a bonus to winning this disease, stress was at an all-time high.

As God works in His mysterious ways, He has filled me with all that was lacking and placed me on a path where I would find stress to be less intimidating. He placed dear friends to surround and support me; they are pivotal to this phase of healing and are all a part of God working!

If you read my posts over the past year and all the phases I’ve been through, you’ll know it has been a roller-coaster ride of a lifetime. This last week the stress factor was kicked up a notch as I felt alone, isolated and sad. As I said, my pain had returned and I needed to find the culprit. As you know, I don’t believe in coincidence, so when the email came with a link that pointed me in the WHEAT direction, I stood up and took notice! Along with the wheat factor, my stress levels had risen.

As this disease will knock many people out, it has made me move forward in a positive light. I don’t like a pity party or whining sessions, nor do I look for a person to point me in the right direction, I lean on God and not my own understanding. It is no coincidence that my emails are targeting just what has been ailing me. Keep in mind I get a lot of emails from vaccinations, the Big C factor, and many other illnesses but this last week they focused on WHEAT, stress and the auto-immune system. Just last week, a total stranger to my comment section stumbled in and in my eyes was a basic confirmation that I am heading in the right direction. Some may see her comment as a spy-bot because she left a link but I saw her words as God telling me the path I’m on is RIGHT!

I’d like to add that with one day of no wheat, now almost a week, I FEEL the difference in my body. I’m also watching a new module series on “Autoimmune Secrets” and am enjoying the different levels that diet plays in over 80 auto-immune disorders, from Hashimotos, Lyme disease, arthritis, MS and a host of others. I knew from the beginning that it wasn’t ‘just’ cancer invading my body, my immune system had a battle raging in there with other illnesses as well.

My apologies for not giving you the link to sign up for the ‘Autoimmune Secrets’ module series but I didn’t think I would be able to watch it myself but ‘something’ told me I needed to see and hear what was being said strictly about the immune system. I’m on episode five now! Keep in mind that the word cancer is just a label of fear of many underlying autoimmune conditions invading every single person’s bodies right at this moment.

The toxins we added to food and water triggered the autoimmune epidemic we set in place in the nineties (glyphosate, Round Up, fluorides etc.)  and what we thought was nutrition went into our bodies like meats, dairy, starches, bread, processed sugars, etc. hence the rise in autoimmune disorders and the advent of an overweight uncaring society. When you say that your body NEEDS meat, what your body is saying to you is that you are nutrient deficient. Your gut health is 80% of your immune system and a failing gut are just fingers stretching out the deficiencies in your body calling out to you to save your own self.

Every day I wake, I’m granted the opportunity to educate myself and learn. We are all given this opportunity but too few actually care enough to do anything about their health. I’ve learned also that Adverse Childhood Events – emotional trauma are root causes of autoimmune disease. Physical, emotional, developmental abuse and neglect, substance abuse, sexual abuse are all stress induced corridors to look into if you are fighting an autoimmune illness. 

Working to heal the emotions, the stresses, healing your gut, are all going to benefit you as you stoically walk the path of healing. Hiding and masking pivotal emotions are only inflaming your inner organs and don’t worry, you’ll be a medically sick drug addict in no time.

Me, when I’m confronted with this adverse reaction to information, negative, controversial, or conflicting, I need to write it out, get it down and tackle the incoming flow so I can be rid of the effects on my immune system. Our bodies are the greatest pharmacists in the world. God made our bodies with every capability of healing and when an illness arises, that is the transforming phase toward healing. If you do nothing or just do one thing like eat a salad a week, you are not healing, you’re pacifying.

When your body craves food, your stomach growls loudly and demands to be fed and more times than not we are feeding our nutrient-rich bodies a toxic stealer of health just to satisfy the craving only making our immune system kick into high gear to ward off the toxic element it doesn’t recognize. Instead of iron, you give your body meat that has been drenched, bathed and processed in toxins. You say the meats taste good but your gut is reacting to the foreign substance and you get sick. Our bodies need fiber and fiber is never found in meat. Our bodies need glucose, but we feed it processed sugar instead. The list is endless to all we’re doing wrong with our bodies and yet again no one cares.

I once again am finding what works for me. The gluten was a big eye-opener. I hear people laugh and joke about not having gluten problems before and now all of a sudden we have a gluten intolerant nation. Just thirty years ago we didn’t have glyphosate and round up and GMO treated foods. The organic industry is on the rise BECAUSE of the toxic world that people in denial are not seeing. Can you see the rise in Dementia, Alzheimer’s, MS, Parkinson’s diseases as well as a broad spectrum of cancers? Can you see a rise in violence? And what, you think it’s just bad genetics? Now it is my turn to laugh at you. Genetics is only about 3 percent of the reason for the rise; nutrition and the stress factor are the other portions of reasons. 

We’ve damaged our organs, our built-in defense mechanism the immune system, we’ve damaged our brains and all we can do is laugh and continue on this toxic-filled path and point fingers at everyone else? Pop a pill and all is right with the world? Imagine a fork in the road; change your diet and heal or go down the medicinal dependent lifestyle you’ve come to know and love. Which do you choose? I choose health and healing over death.

My health-filled cleanse is in full swing, my healing is upon me; my stress factor roadblocks are learning tools as I make my way around them. I soar down the highway to mending at a comfortable coasting speed. I’m reducing toxins, releasing stress, and minimizing the influx of negativity; a win/win on my spirit-filled health-full journey. Just as the weather is in a season of change, so are my mind, body, and soul!

All praise and Glory to God! 

Prov. 12:18 “There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health.”

Our Daily Bread

Matt. 6:11 "Give us this day our daily bread."

Daily Bread of life

Did you know that doctors are legal drug dealers, they are not our bread of life? If you go to a doctor chances are you’re being dealt legal drugs. You think because he/she is a doctor they know what is best for you for certain. I think we blindly walk into the office thinking this man or woman has got the cure our bodies’ desire.

The mind is a powerful essence. Have you ever gone into a doctors office, left with a prescription, got it filled and went home and popped the pill in your mouth? Did you do any research on the dangers of the drug first? Of course you didn’t because you trust that the doctor knows what is best for you. Your mind is conditioned to believe anything a doctor says.

If you watch television, I’m sure you’ve seen the legal drug commercials, you know, the ones telling you they have the cure for cancer, arthritis, MS, depression and a host of other illnesses. It shows a beautiful, thin person, running, jogging, smiling, no sign of pain? Yeah, because she’s on drugs. She is now a drug addict. A legal drug addict but a drug addict nonetheless.

Did you ever listen to the extremely quickly spewed side effects? May cause liver damage, suicidal tendencies, migraines, brain fog, heart palpitations, skin disease and more. This is what the legal drug dealers sell to YOU! You’re fine with it because the person that sold them to you is a doctor and he MUST know what he’s doing right, he wouldn’t basically kill you now, would he?

I, along with you, have seen too many stars die from these legal drugs just to name some from my era, Michael Jackson, Prince, and Robin Williams. I know you’re gonna say that they abused these prescribed drugs but the truth of the matter is, they TRUSTED their doctor, just like you, to cure them of what ailed them. They too did not read of the side effects because they TRUSTED their doctor.

When I was diagnosed with this dreaded disease and they wanted to sell me their product with words like cure, cure, cure, life, life life, do it, live. The words echoed in my mind like a tuning fork. When I very simply, calmly asked for time to think about it, research the drugs, there was marked frustration and anger filling their voices. I’m talking two oncologists, trained doctors whose job it is to heal! The Hippocratic Oath jargon? They don’t heal; they are drug dealers, nothing more. The antagonists went on to say words like non-committal, fear, and death. Yes sir, those are words you want to hear from a doctor. I myself would like to hear words like heal, health, nutrition, but it is not to be so with doctors, the majority of them anyway.

From Wikipedia: “It is often said that the phrase "First do no harm" (Latin: Primum non nocere) is a part of the Hippocratic oath. The phrase as such does not appear in the oath, although the oath does contain Latin: ... noxamvero et maleficium propulsabo (Also ... I will utterly reject harm and mischief). The phrase "primum non nocere" is believed to date from the 17th century (see detailed discussion in the article on the phrase).

The very Oath that a doctor will swear by is to DO NO HARM, yet they prescribe drugs that are basically going to destroy that which God made. I find it kind of ironic that some dentists don’t like to prescribe antibiotics or pain medications. The dentist I went to told me that the body was made in such a way to heal itself, antibiotics can hinder the immune system from doing what it was made to do.

Faced with this illness, research led me to the prescribed antibiotics I took as a child for mononucleosis, tooth loss, infections, and mercury fillings; as a child! Yes, the illnesses and the prescribed drugs have now come back to haunt me.

So as you sit there ingesting drugs on a daily basis, try to think of the illnesses that ARE going to strike you down the road and rest assured they will strike. What is going to be your first line of defense, taking more drugs from the pill pushing doctor? Sure, because you don’t believe that health and nutrition are the actual cures.

Our daily healthy life sustaining bread has been in us all along and we only needed to tap the source to find a healing or a CURE for ANYTHING that ails us! God wasn’t messing around when He created us, He made our systems in such a fashion that we have the ability within us to heal. Granted, we DO need doctors because we’ve ignored the Holy Spirit, the sustaining waters and bread of life, all of our lives and now we need a pacifier to make us feel all better and to shut us up, we’re programmed that way.

Luke 4:4 "And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God."

Transforming

Rom. 12:2 “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

Transforming

There are numerous scientific studies that show the way we habitually think changes our physiological makeup in our brains. To me, it shows that the biblical verse telling us to be transformed means so much more than just follow Christ. I read so much more into scripture and it is never a clear-cut literal meaning to me when I read something from the Holy Bible.

God wants us to be transformed. He didn’t want us following the ways of the world because He knew even back when he was creating, that this world would be corrupted and we needed to be strong in our minds to stand up against the wiles of the world.

2 Cor. 11:13-15 “For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ. And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.”

When I write about healing this dastardly disease, I in no way think I’m doing this all on my own. I know there are many out there that think I’m crazy, “change your diet and heal” how silly is that. If that were the case doctors would be prescribing healthy food change instead of the poisons they so often dish out, right? Wrong. Doctors are trained to dish out pharmaceuticals. They’re not in the health business nor will they promote it. They to me are no different than drug dealers, they just have legal means to get through the red tape.

While I’ve always been a follower of Christ, being transformed is a whole different matter. When you think of someone who has gone through a transformation what is the first thing that comes to your mind? That they’ve changed in their entirety right? Not just something as physical as a nose job or facelift. Facial physical features usually conjure the words, they’ve had work done. Think about that, there is a difference in a physical transformation and a spiritual metaphysical one.

Rom. 2:19 "And art confident that thou thyself are a guide to the blind, a light of them which are in darkness."

I myself am not conformed to this world but there is always room for growth within the realm of transformation. While I may have physically appeared to be transformed on the outside, this illness has caused me to transform on the inside as well. If I were to look at an x-ray of my insides I more than likely would be looking at the transformation this disease has wrought on all the cogs of this machine I call my body.

Now if a doctor looked at my x-rays, as they have, seeing everything askew, the first thing they offer is drugs, not health and diet changes. They want to physically chop me up and radiate me and I just don’t feel like conforming to their method when God Himself tells me to ‘be transformed’. Again, a transformation is nothing physical to ME!

If I thought in my mind for a minute that the slice and dice method was for me, I’d go that route with no hesitancy. Instead, my mind is conformed to the way of God and I’m being transformed physically, mentally and spiritually! 

It’s ironic, have you ever wondered why you need a doctor in the first place? You botched up your health (temple) and you need the doctor to pacify you. You NEED the drugs. To transform your health is quite difficult so the road most frequented seems like the right road to take. It is quite obvious to me that I screwed up taking care of my health, so when the doctor offered a pacifying method, I chose to go to God and see what He says. I need to clean and take care of my temple (body) and treat it as the sacred place of God if I’m ever to survive this disease.

1 Cor. 3:16- 17 “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person; for God’s temple is sacred, and you together are that temple.”

Here I am today, in a transformation stage. I feel like a butterfly inside the cocoon wriggling and squirming, waiting to be set free. Then it happens, I wake one day and look in the mirror and don’t see the same ol’ unhealthy person that used to be there, I’ve been granted wings to FLY.

Isaiah 40:31 "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

He’s arrived. I waited; He showed up and gave me wings to fly, to be transformed, to heal, inside and out. He gave me the ability to run and not be weary, to walk and not faint. He’s allowed me to soar and not be conformed to this world. I am transforming!

All praise and Glory to God!