What Can I Do For You?

Dan. 10:10 “And, behold, a hand touched me, which set me upon my knees and upon the palms of my hands.”

I asked Him, what can I do for you?

As I teeter on the brink of the beginning of the Lenten season, I asked what I could do for God. As in earlier years when I talk to God, He listens intently then gives me a softly whispered reply. This year his reply was ‘think about it’. What? Think about what? No, He’s not a God of confusion I knew what He meant but like so many other people who pray and want a simple answer, it is what it is, a simple reply.

You see, in years past I sacrificed by giving up meat, or Pepsi, one year I was told to blog for forty-five days straight. Since my illness has me sacrificing basically everything and He knows I’ve been a stoic woman strict in my protocol, God called for something different from me that I wasn’t expecting. Think about it. Now, you’re wondering, what, what did He want you to think about.

Here goes… He wanted me to prayerfully think about everything. Wow, that’s a tall order, you might say. Seriously, to me, it doesn’t seem like a sacrifice at all, and I wanted to do something grand, but there it is, ‘think about it’ plain and simple. 

Now you being on the outside looking into my window, reading my thoughts I put on my screen, you’re now thinking about it. Define ‘it’ if you can. Not so simple is it?

Before I write, I need to think of what I’m going to say. Before I pray I need to think what will be heard. Before I judge I need to think about the truth and if it will do more damage than good. Before I speak, I need to think. You might be saying that this is a quite simple task but not for me, the person still being molded into all He created me to be.

He knows me all too well, He knows I have a tendency to jump to a conclusion without thinking the scenario through and reacting to that too swiftly. Now He’s asking me to think before I act. You might be saying to yourself, “Oh I do that all the time.” Maybe you do but I don’t. Right there is a perfect example, I was going to write, “Yeah but you drink, eat, and fill yourself with toxins…” but I stopped and thought. Wow, He's quick! 

Yeah, it’s not going to be easy for me to think first. Luckily I have two more days to tell you what I really think. I’m kidding. I always speak my mind and sometimes, or so I’ve been told, I can be brutal in my honesty. I need to think before I speak/write and put my words more softly on the page before tapping out my aggravations. I can save my aggravations for my private pages of writing but even then, I will filter my thoughts and think first. You don’t know how challenging this is going to be for me. 

Now many of you might be familiar with the ‘Daniel Fast’, Lent is not the Daniel Fast. Lent is the season of remembrance of the days leading up to the Crucifixion of Christ, forty-five days to be more precise. They are similar in their purpose, to become spiritually closer to God, hunger for Him, physically and mentally in everything we do.

While some of you younger Christians, new to the faith, might misunderstand all of the activity surrounding lent and anything to do with fasting, let me try to explain it, gently. 

Let’s say you’re a new driver, what do you do to prepare for the exam? You study, you study your heart out so you pass, right? No, Christianity is not a test or the preparation for one, get that out of your head right now. New to the faith, you will read and read, and study the bible over and over until you feel comfortable with where you’re driving your life.

God is not a God who wants you comfortable because comfort causes complacency. God is a God of growth, we can only grow if we give new life to the skills we already have. We’ve studied and learned, we’ve passed the test but now we’re comfortable driving, in any kind of weather, we are in the driver seat. There it is, you are NOT in the driver seat. As a weathered Christian, you’ll learn quite quickly that God is always in the driver seat.

With your license in hand, well versed in driving the open roads, you need to learn something new that will enable you to drive on an ice skating rink. This is where fasting comes in; to spiritually grow we need knowledge and to fill up the tank for the long drive. Since we’re smug in our sense of security, if you’ve lived in Florida all of your life and you move to Colorado, you’ll quickly realize there is more to learn with your driving skills. There is always more to learn as a Christian. God does not like conceited Christians.

Fasting humbles the soul. I’m reminded of the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5:3-12

Blessed are the poor in spirit, 

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 

Blessed are they who mourn, 

for they shall be comforted. 

Blessed are the meek, 

for they shall inherit the earth. 

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, 

for they shall be satisfied. 

Blessed are the merciful, 

for they shall obtain mercy. 

Blessed are the pure of heart, 

for they shall see God. 

Blessed are the peacemakers, 

for they shall be called children of God. 

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, 

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." 

Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

The Daniel Fast (Old Testament) is the epitome of the Beatitudes (New Testament). God wants us to draw spiritually closer to Him. He knows we don’t have much time left. He calls each and every one of us to be filled with the Spirit and He also knows the only way for humans to appreciate all that we have is by taking something away, hence the fasting. It brings about a spiritual closeness to God that we may have never comprehended. We allowed our egos to drive our car and control our every step for far too long. Now I’m going to ask you, my friends, to ‘think about it’, plain and simple.

Eph. 6:10 “Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.”

Luke 22:43 “And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him.”

Where I Go From Here...

Isa. 41:10 “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”

:13 “For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.”

Where I go from here…

If you’re not an expert in the field, then please refrain from judging ME and MY way of healing MY body! Your comments HURT more than help and I am in a very FRAGILE state as I face this cell-biting funk in my body! I’m not here to judge the toxins you put in YOUR body daily, I’m here to judge MY daily intake of toxins.

Expert opinions

“All the so-called natural deaths are nothing but the terminal point of high body acidity,” -- George W. Crile of Cleveland, one of the most renowned surgeons in the world.

“The innumerable names of the diseases are not important, but the fact that they all stem from the basic causes is -- too much acidity in the body.” -- Dr. Theodore A. Baroody, book “Alkalise or die” 

“Increased acidification of the body is the cause of degenerative diseases. If there is an imbalance and the body begins to store toxins and acidity to a greater extent, your body will start to experience diseases “- Dr. Robert O. Young.

Saturday, I unintentionally got knocked down a rung or two by a comment and with my impending new oncologist visit on Monday, it almost knocked me back to square one. A social media fast is in order and if you haven’t bookmarked my blog, then you’ll have no idea I’m continuing to write.

One comment, that’s all it took to get my heart racing and my hands shaking allowing doubt and fear to slither in; albeit unintentional, it kicked me in my fragile butt! Sunday I was a mess, even after a sermon and praise. I don’t like to delete people but at this juncture, I am more focused on MY healing than YOUR feelings. 

Monday morning came and a visit with a new oncologist was in order for the day. My anxiety felt high, but I winged it with a great blood pressure reading and not a tear fell down my cheek!
My GP led me to this doctor last week. This was not HER pick, it was MY pick out of the IBS (IckyBoobSyndrome) doctors available. I looked at the faces, I looked at the eyes and this was whom I chose. Little did I know that he is probably one of the TOP oncologists in the STATE of Nebraska, affiliated with a pretty highly ranked Big C Center. It was worth the forty-five-minute drive to me, to US. 

Someone warned me that this man was pretty adamant about not allowing patients to walk out the door without committing them to Chemotherapy. I was warned so I was ready with what little armor I had (I was weak going in, thanks to the unintentional hurtful comment over the weekend) and the doc was extremely almost forceful (hugging me seven times to sway me?) in making his call of having me commit. He wanted to call my son at home, he demanded I commit now before leaving, or he’d lose me (played the guilt card). Almost two hours of pressure but I walked out, informed, enlightened and aware. This was MUCH better than the first oncologist. And no bruising to show for it today!

What I DID commit to was a PET scan, only for the very reason being, to know if this crud is spreading through my body. I NEED to know as I continue on with my fight. If it is spreading, I may HAVE to do chemo. So I can live. As he put it, without chemo he gives me a year of cancer eating my brains and bones (with my former unhealthy lifestyle, mind you) to live, WITH chemo he was pretty confident an additional fifteen years. He put up a good argument but like I said, I still had my faith and strength in tact! “What’s stopping you?” Doc asked. My hubby, who was in the room with me, spoke up and said, “We need to pray about this! She’s told you her reasons why. Now we need time.” The man was not giving up! 

This is how firm he was. He ordered the PET scan from his office to my local hospital and of all the nerve, he wanted me to visit his office forty-five minutes away after my PET scan to sign up for the chemo!!!! He almost demanded and I said NO! If any of you have had a PET scan you know the twenty-four hour protocol? No eating, no drinking etc.? He needs results before I make ANY sort of commitment because it will change the plan a little that he had set out for me. “Friday, how about Friday?” he demanded. “NO!” I shot back! Pressure! My chest felt a tight pressure closing in on me!

His navigator lady was extremely helpful and very explanatory and also said, “In the end, it is YOUR body! YOUR decision!” I have to remember that I need to stop being a people pleaser for this duration. I only agreed to this visit to appease my GP. I wanted to go back home before entering the office and hubby started the truck and said, “Let’s go!” I told him I NEEDED to hear what this man had to say for my own sanity, good or bad, I NEED to hear it and that I did. 

I left the office with no other commitment but a PET scan on Thursday. He wanted me to schedule a visit for next week but I had to decline so I can see what my husband’s schedule is going to be like. Pressure! Pressing down on me. I do hold in my hand a copy of the results of my tests on January 25, a booklet on the guide to reading those tests and what they mean, and a book ‘Straight Talk about BC’. 

It sure doesn’t feel like MY life and MY decision but I guess this is normal. 
I’d like to add that with each doctor (4) now, they have seen my arsenal of supplements and my new eating habits. I get the feeling they know I’ve done my research and each supplement is targeted at my cells!

I pray that God gives me the strength to hear and follow what He wants me to do and I pray I’m hearing rightly and not blinded by what I want. I need continued prayer from the warriors who’ve been praying. Please don’t let up. Put my name in Prayer requests in all of your churches. PRAY FOR ME! 

Isa. 11:2 “And the spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD;”

Lent: Day Thirty ~ Power in Prayer

Prov. 15:8 The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the LORD: but the prayer of the upright is his delight.

Power in Prayer

I love to hear the words, I’m praying for you. That means a person is actually calling out to God with my name and asking Him to bless me. But wait, is everyone who utters the words I’m praying for you mean that they are praying?

The heart of a Christian is bathed in prayer. Prayer is the cleansing, the healing, the nurturing of the spirit. I believe the world is bound to prayer. I think even the atheist in some way believes deep in his/her soul that there is a God. The reason they call themselves atheist is because God didn’t answer a prayer of letting their mother live while she lay dying, or maybe their sister died and they prayed for her to live.

Usually something tragic has to happen for an atheist to not believe, or they are raised by a non-believer and adopted that belief system. But to give up on God because of unanswered prayer? That is just silly. They seek proof of a physical existence and are never satisfied with any answer they receive.

Humans are fashioned to pray. Some believe they are just talking to their conscience and that there is no force or spirit driving them and when they pray they are actually praying to themselves. I hate to burst their bubble, but God is hearing them. Will God send a bolt of lightning down and give that person all that they prayed for? Nah, He’s waiting for them to acknowledge that He exists. When their prayer is answered will they thank God?

People falsely assume that prayer is about asking and receiving and just because they asked and didn’t receive they turn from Him. Prayer is so much more than asking and receiving, taking and taking, it’s about compassion of the soul.

I like to meditate. I like to go so deep within my mind that the universe and all the cosmos responds to me and it is in that place I voice my prayer, fervent prayer.  I can feel the energy flow slowly through my veins, pulsating through my body and reaching into the depth of my heart making it beat to the drums of the orchestral heavens.

Pss. 54:2 Hear my prayer, O God; give ear to the words of my mouth.

Prayer to me is not found in a virtual emoticon, it cannot be conveyed as a heartfelt prayer that way. Prayer is found (to ME) in the words something like, “I’m lifting you in prayer,” assuming the person praying knows what the lifting you in prayer means. But prayer is never found in non-words. People asking for prayer are desperately reaching out to God’s children and they need to hear/read words to comfort them in the struggles they are going through. I cannot and will not diminish someone’s pain by not giving him or her comforting words of my offered prayer.

To me, lifting someone in prayer means I am going into a deep meditation of compassion where I sweep myself into the pit of my stomach and feel the churning rising up within me encompassing the outer banks of the cosmos in a compassionate plea to the Almighty Lord of my soul. The Holy Spirit is there in the realm of conscious meditation and He hears the calling of a need out of your compassionate plea for another.

Saying the words, ‘praying’ does not necessarily mean that a person is praying but their thought of prayer for you is heard. When people extend their words out in number to pray for the same thing it is then felt and when lifted inside you, it is received then answered.

Prayer is the mighty power of the Lord, mounted up inside of you weaving through your thoughts and is carried to the outer banks of the spiritual realm. Our impassioned plea reaches through a timeless expanse into the ear of the Creator and all His creation. This is where our soul resides and this is where the Holy Spirit dwells awaiting prayer.

Can people pray for themselves? There is no particular way to pray but if you are praying selfishly asking the Lord to send you money, or to pay your bills, or to bless you with riches beyond belief; please know that those prayers are heard but will not be answered in the way you think or want them to be.

If you are hungry, He will give you food. If you are tired, He will give you rest. If you are thirsty, He will give you drink. If you are poor, He won’t give you money. In the depths of prayer, there is no evil. Evil only resides in the man who embraces sin. Where there is prayer, satan can not cross the boundaries lest you allow him in via greed and selfishness.

Our soul calls us to pray. Fervent prayer is the rich soil in which you will plant the seed of love and allow it to grow to the magnitude that darkness can never enter. Through prayer you will never know hate, you will never feel the need to release any anger that is welling inside you. Prayer is the calming affect of peace that your soul craves and if all men believed in the power of prayer, there would be no wars.

Prayer is the very essence of your soul. It is calling you to a union that binds you in the love and precious Light of the Lord that resides there. Prayer is the very magnet that draws you to God. Some will fall to their knees and place their hands together, some will raise their arms in praise of the Mighty Deliverer, but prayer is never entered into lightly. Your words become power and there is Power in Prayer, use it wisely.

2 Chron. 6:40 Now, my God, let, I beseech thee, thine eyes be open, and let thine ears be attent unto the prayer that is made in this place.

Poetry Sunday ~ I Pray

2 Sam. 7: 27 For thou, O LORD of hosts, God of Israel, hast revealed to thy servant, saying, I will build thee an house: therefore hath thy servant found in his heart to pray this prayer unto thee.

I Pray

Now I’ll kneel me down to pray

Lord I know not what to say

The world is filled with so much hate

I pray to you, it’s not too late.

Just because they read the news

They feel the need to share the blues

My prayer is for them to open their eyes

And see some beauty within the lies.

I’ll pray they have an open heart

To give out love as their new start.

To not be overcome with guile

That they instead would give a smile.

As I kneel me down to pray

Please have mercy as they stray

Grant us peace here on earth

Allow in men to see their worth.

Now my knees begin to hurt

For man who sleeps in earthly dirt

Will you love them once again.

Show them grace, I pray, AMEN!

Ephesians 4:32-33 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

Color me weird

Ruth 2: 10 Then she fell on her face, and bowed herself to the ground, and said unto him, Why have I found grace in thine eyes, that thou shouldest take knowledge of me, seeing I am a stranger?

When I wake in the morning and my feet touch the floor, I thank the Lord for allowing me this given day. As I saunter in to make my coffee, words of praise form in my head and I begin humming a praise tune.

When I take my dog out in the chill of the morning while the sky is alight with a full moon, I praise Him for all He has created. I see Him in the stars, the moon, the universe and thank Him for creating me.

I await my coffee to end its brewing time. I sit at my computer and begin prayers for those in need. I have never been short on prayer because each time my windowed world opens, there sits someone in need of prayer. I pray.

With a warm cup in my hands I sit and share love and praise and thank Him for placing the right people at the right time in my life. There is never a shortage of prayer needs. Even when people seem to be smiling and laughing it up, my mind hones in on them and I pray. For behind a smile is a heart; a heart that is in need of prayer as much as anyone else.

In my travels throughout the day, if someone cuts me off in traffic, I raise my hand and say, “I’ll pray for you” because I know in my heart that that person is in such a hurry and has so much on his/her mind they might forget that God is in control. They need prayer not a cursing too.

While shopping in the hustle and bustle of the season, I see people nickel-and-diming it to make ends meet and possibly trying to have a good Christmas. I pray for them while standing at the checkout. Color me weird.

People color me weird because I can’t take my eyes off of God. Sure I have bad moments, yes I hurt and get angry, I’m human but in the midst of one of those instances, God is there reassuring me that He’s got this and that I’m loved and in that moment I’m comforted.

The very essence of being a Christian is not taking your eyes off of God; even when you’re scrounging to pay the heating bill. Even when life is so hard it doesn’t have the color of richness that makes you want to go on. That is when you need God the most to carry you.

Christmas is the season where satan rears his tentacles and tries with everything he has to reach people; to make them feel unworthy, unappreciated, unloved and most of all not able to reach God. It is in these moments that God reaches in effortlessly and gets you through a season for man. Believers and unbelievers alike feel His presence. They might see it in the beauty of nature, they might feel it in a hug or warm well-wishers hand, but they FEEL God touching of them.

Pss. 44: 20 If we have forgotten the name of our God, or stretched out our hands to a strange god;

As church seats fill up during the Christmas season, more and more come to know the Glory of the Lord and for this reason God has allowed man to celebrate the birth of His Son on December 25^th. When the season ends, people go back to the same old same old pagan traditions and forget what it was that touched them during the Christmas season.

Some will cling to that feeling like a snow-blanket hugging the ground. They will rise every morning thanking Him for yet another glorious day to be alive. They will begin each day in praise and worship and end the day in prayer and thankfulness. And people everywhere will…color them weird. I bow my head and pray!

Pss.69: 8 I am become a stranger unto my brethren, and an alien unto my mother's children.

Luke 1: 64 And his mouth was opened immediately, and his tongue loosed, and he spake, and praised God.

A Message to Convey

1 John 1: 5 This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.

A Message to Convey

I rise up in the morning

What to do today?

Lord you’ve given life to me

Please tell me what to say.

The words they flow like currents

Of energy in my soul.

God places on my heart

Some words to make you whole.

The rhyme is always easy

The rhythm soon to follow.

I fill your heart with messages

The truth is hard to swallow.

The world is full of hatred

Your anger feeds the flame.

Satan’s very happy

That you help him play the game.

Demons linger the hollow street

That man will never see

People become too busy

You’ve asked them not to flee.

By allowing anger free reign

You diminish your own light.

You’ll never know peace within

Diminished is your sight.

Hear the words I offer

He’s asked me to convey.

Give to Him all Glory

On bended knee to pray.

1 John 3: 11 For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.