OPTIMISM: A New Day

Pss. 34:4 I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.

Optimism: A New Day

For the past two and a half weeks I’ve been walking around in a veiled fog. My brain couldn’t wrap itself around the simplest of things. I knew without the Oral Chemo I would start to fail. I don’t know why the nurse assumed, two weeks ago, I would jump right into the chemo Herceptin, she knows me and has been working with me for seven months but she went ahead and stopped all further shipments of my meds and didn’t, it sounds to me, get the doctors okay. He wanted me back on what I had left here at home, pronto! And as soon as I started taking it again, my body, muscles, and brain all connected, finally.

I was angry and bitter at just about anyone I came in contact with. I put up a good front (or not) but I muddled through each and every day. If you’ve been reading my blog over the years, you know I am an optimist at heart. I take everything to the Lord and listen ONLY to Him. Not my husband, son, doctors or family can tell me anything, I listen to God and wait for what He has to say ALL of the time.

This instance was no different as I told you last week. I prayed, I heard, and I listened. I also told you I didn’t like the answer I got and for that, I became bitter and disgruntled and in all honesty, ready to pick out my urn! Just an FYI: I want the cover of Dark Side of the Moon on it. Inscription will say: "I'll see you on the dark side of the moon."

Pss. 34:6 "This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him and saved him out of all his troubles."

God wants me to go the Herceptin route and for the life of me, I cannot conceive why. Why would He do this to me? Why can’t I just be healed like everyone imagines how healing is done? You don’t have to answer that I already know the answer. GOD DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY! 

With all of the healthy eating and supplementation, my body was being prepared to handle what the damaging poison would do to my system. It’s a fact that chemo destroys, it’s a fact that we have the power within ourselves to heal so we need to step up and take action to see healing through. I worked hard to build up my immunity and it may just be time to see if it is strong enough for the poison while the poison attacks the C cells. A science project in motion, if you will.

My body was ready for the Oral Chemo. After sifting through the lies that the doctor told, I had no idea the Oral Chemo was a short term route. I was led to believe ‘that I would see ANOTHER Christmas’. Well, if I don’t go the Herceptin route, I might not see another Christmas!

I have said over and over and over again, this illness is not like a cold. You eat some soup, take some vitamin c and you’re all better. There is no clear indication that just changing your diet to an organic plant-based and taking supplements is the secret to healing the Big C! I’ve NEVER EVER said that or misled anyone to believe that. I made it perfectly clear that there is an entire chasm of healing tools and chemo is NOT the only way to go either! And also, cancer is NOT the death sentence that doctors would like you to believe it is, it’s an enemy of your system, but it is YOUR system, your body, your healing, no one else can heal you but God and you!

The women I see healing alternatively have money, the choice of fine doctors at their fingertips, chiropractors, have been to the clinic in Mexico, have access to the UV saunas, have within their reach the ability to afford all the crazy organic Plant Based food, and many live in states where Medicinal Cannabis is legal. They have family supporting them and maybe they’ve never had a life of trauma. Yes, I know, we’ve all had hard lives but again TRAUMA is different than losing a dog when you were a kid or being whooped because you were bad. TRAUMA is stress that needs tender loving care to get through and it doesn’t happen in a meditation session, or on a psychologists sofa, or with drugs! There are elements to healing this disease that the poor impoverished person has a much deeper struggle to contend with.

So with that, yesterday I woke with an answer. Optimism! I’ve had a gung-ho attitude through all of this but in recent weeks my pep pooped out! Today, my poop got pepped! Ewww. Wait. Today my perk got prepped! Yeah, that sounds better. God said to me if I go into chemo thinking it’s going to destroy and kill me, by all means, it will. If I go in with the optimism that this is just another supplement (albeit a poisonous one) needed in my healing then we’ll find success, then so be it! We’ll find healing! 

God is not a God of fear tactics and scare traits. He wants me to see this as a love potion to add to all of my other healthy eating, exercising, and supplementation. This is just an odd leg of the journey that I did not want to accept. You heard me right, I didn’t like what God wanted me to do! After asking for forgiveness in my doubting Him and asking Him to hold my hand and lead the way, He shouted, OPTIMISM! We’ll walk with optimism so I can see a new day every day and see many more Christmas’! 

I don’t have to do what the doctor says, I’m in the passenger seat of this vehicle and God is my Almighty Driver! The doctors fear tactics have me on this Herceptin for years, ten to twenty. Look, people, I’m not a prisoner doing ten to twenty years for something I didn’t do. I am going to show the world that this disease can be licked, all wounds healed and scars tended to. Years down the line, the scars will be minimal with caressing, rubbing, touching, acknowledging and coming face to face with what brought them to me. 

My mantra will continue - I am HEALED, I am Healthy and I am WELL! 

All praise and Glory to my God! 

Pss. 34:1 "I will bless the LORD at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth."

Closing Up Shop...Soon!

Gen 2: 2 “And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.”

Some of you might or might not care but I am closing up my blog for a while. I have given you ample time to read my story, learn from all I’ve shown you and time to benefit from my hard work and research. I have not fiddled around once, I’ve given you my heart, my soul, and my truth. It’s time for me to rest, but not really rest.

Some will say for me to leave my blog open so others can learn from it, but honestly, if you’re not from my inner circle, you can read it when my story hits the bookshelves. If you’re from my inner circle then you should be fully aware of my story, my stance, and my advice. As for total strangers reading and gleaning from my words? They’ve had their chance and five to ten hits a day doesn’t warrant an open blog.

My Spiritually Family knows who they are! Daily or occasionally my link will slink up their newsfeed and they’ll click and read or roll and scroll. I’m okay with that because I am at peace with the timeframe of all that has happened, from diagnosis, to fracture, to healing to HOME. When all is said and done, it’s time to write and put together my story! I have nothing against self-publishing but I’d like to go a different route if possible. I don’t know, we’ll have to see where God leads me. And no, I'm not in a hurry, I'm going where God leads, not where man or the old selfish me wants to take me.

God’s not done with me by a longshot. He now wants me to focus on me; my writing, querying, my publication. As a writer you know the rules, my work cannot be anywhere on the net. Even as an unseen personal blog my works, my words, my strategy, and my end game are already out here for the world to see, as such, it is considered published work.  And yes, I’ve done my homework on that too, it cannot be already published and I am willing to give publisher's publishing rights to my work.

If you’re reading this now, know, you are my family, my friends, my supporters and followers who have watched me grow in writing and in life. Now I am going out into the fields of life to see what is out there waiting for me to blossom. Wish me Godspeed because I am once again, following where He is leading.

I will NOT cease to exist out here, I am going to become a somewhat reclusive writer who peeks out and checks on everyone from afar. You’re my inspiration, so I need to see what motivates you and keeps you going. My writing friends will KNOW where to find me, where this honing of my writing skill all began! 

My Spiritual Friends will spot a post or two from me on Facebook. I’m not going anywhere I’m just letting you know which way my writing is heading. If nothing pans out and I give up the ‘old let's get published’ game, I’ll let you know, but I think one thing you have all learned from me is, Joni never gives up!!! 

I wish I could thank you all by name but I can’t because each and every one of you hold a special place in my heart and life. If you click like on this post, I thank you, you’re the real people that keep me motivated every single day. If you like a post on my progress, you’re my growing Spiritual Family who really does care how I am doing. If you don’t like this post and a month down the line you wonder where my blog is, I’ll pray for you, you need more light in your life, I’ll pray! If you post a comment then delete it thinking I didn’t see it, I saw it, and now wonder. I pray for you.  God was out here performing a miracle and you missed the beauty of it all.

Maybe I’ll be inclined to start a NEW blog… a new adventure, whatever the case may be I’ll still be around, alive and the woman you’ve all grown to love. May you all find the truth I’ve shown you. God is alive and still in the business of seeing miracles through. May you all learn to understand HIS time and not selfishly of your own time. Patience IS a virtue. I’m living proof that the diagnosis of cancer is NOT a death sentence! Trust, faith, and patience! 

God Bless you and me on the journey of a lifetime! 

Angel Always... Godspeed! 

The Story Begins - ER visit One

2 Cor.12:9 "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly, therefore, will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

ER visit One...

The first ER visit was the one that got the pebble rolling wherever I was being led on this path. The ride of a lifetime was sweeping me into its arms. And so the journey began. I'm not going for time consistency right now and will get back to it at the editing phase and make the timeline more clear. After the first ER visit, everything seems a fog, it was the first time in many many years that a hardcore drug entered my body, Percocet.

I couldn't breathe that night, my chest seemed to be tightening, the air in my lungs minimal and by morning, Steven accidentally missing his alarm, called for him to be at home that day and me needing to be driven to the ER. We drove to the Emergency Room entrance, pivoting to a (hospital owned) wheelchair, making it from car to hospital sign in, the formality and tagging began. This is where my birthdate would be the most uttered words over the next couple of months.

The ER2, 3, and 4 were all maddening visits in their own stage. While in ER1 I was told what the x-ray had shown. That my disease had metastasized (spread) to my liver. "Mets to the liver," he said. I didn't blink. I sat, I stared and quite honestly thought, 'and so it begins'. Don't ask me what 'it' was, I hadn't figured that part out but was assured in the deepest depths of my being, my sacred place, that I would know, and also I would know when it was time to share.

I left the hospital in tears, only a cane in my hand and my husband by my side. A blur, that is the only way I can describe it. I felt like I wanted to shelter this news in a cocoon and allow only one or two (okay, maybe three) people know that I was now Stage 4? I think that's what they call it when it has spread. Hey, some is still a blur. I'm still in my healing phase. It was at this time that I was told that I should use a walker at all times and think about getting a wheelchair. I should also make an appointment with my GP (General Practitioner) if for my pain and my inability to breath should I need medication to continue. The spot, I was told, was pressing on my lungs, making it feel like the air was being restricted. My oxygen level was 97%. 

Rolling right along I went. I made a GP appointment and thus began the struggle between illness and law. She was hesitant in prescribing Percocet 'because of the 'LAW', so she prescribed a delicate drug that did minimal assistance to my pain. Being raised in MG's placed me in the ER again, the pain too much to bear.

ER2 found me visiting by my first ever ambulance ride. Unable to breathe and a lot of pain in my lower extremities. The meds my GP gave me, obviously were not working and little did I know that the Opioid crisis running rampant across the nation would imprison medication to aid me but could be prescribed for 30 days only, then its, "SUFFER American, your illness means nothing to us, we have a drug problem here!" My illness is defined by legalities, stigmas and the good old Almighty Dollar! UNLESS you find a caring doctor.  

This doctor had NO PROBLEM prescribing my medication. I am Stage 4, what's going to happen to me, I'm going to become addicted in a couple of months or worse overdose and die? Get in line, we're all going to die some way somehow eventually and DRUGS are NOT going to take ME down! BUT I was now given a choice. I was ‘encouraged’ to go the chemo route. I was gently nudged to an Oncologist. I also sat nodding my head in utter disbelief I was going through this. I needed my son and husband. I had no idea what to do.

I think this is where I hopped on the merry-go-round for a spell. FEAR wrapped its long fingers around my neck gripping with flames of fire. Messages, mixed and otherwise were scrambling through my head. I heard them but I could not discern. Surely enough, I was on the fatal merry-go-round from a Ray Bradbury novel.

Friends and family were getting concerned, seeing that this was my second visit to the ER after all. I made the decision to see an Oncologist. Miracles were evident and prayers were being answered at this time. Some people like instantaneous answers to prayers but I AM LIVING PROOF, prayers are answered in the most minute ways. You might not see Steven missing his alarm clock as an answered prayer, but had he been at work and I, home alone? ER visit 2 brought me to a possible third oncologist looking at my disease since last year.
Think about the ramifications had God not intervened.

To be continued…

“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10 (NIV)

Winding Down... A Grand Finale

“The one who gets wisdom loves life; the one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper.” Proverbs 19:8 (NIV)

This might be one of those 'must read' posts as I wind down my blog. I've gone on hiatus many times over the years but this one is timely and essential as I need to continue healing. 

It all began back in 2005 when I started this blog, the posts didn't really feel right so I deleted the lame posts from 2005 and 2007. Then in 2008, it took off and I started getting followers and meeting other bloggers, some whom I am still friends with to this day on Facebook. It was a writing blog. A writer helping fellow writers follow their dreams as I too followed my dream of becoming a writer all the while sharing my love of God. 

Some liked that I spoke of God and I'm sure some were turned away by it, but those who liked it became my friends on Facebook, getting to know me on a more personal level. I don't remember the year the transition happened, the blog name went from One Voice, Write Right to Joni's Muse: The Poet Within. I know the transition happened at a time I was being called on every typo, misspelling and faux pas of my writing posts so I no longer felt like a reliable writing source to my fellow writers. It was no big deal, I'm a writer and we need to take criticism but sometimes, people are not gentle in their critique and even unintentionally downright hurt you!

I turned my writing muse to God and all that He's done for me. I didn't strive for grammar perfection, I just wanted to share my life story and all that I've learned over the years. No one could critique my story because it was/IS mine! My life, MY wounds, MY scars that I was sharing! People liked reading my story because I had an edge of reality, a blunt truth that not many people are willing to go into the depths of their soul and share. I shared over the years parts of my past that some would have rather kept buried but I brought it to light. I needed healing in my writing and releasing all the past wounds really helped me to find an inner peace. 

My blood family has no interest in my story. It is not their story but when I'm gone and they look over the truth, I'm sure they'll sit in shock that my story of the dysfunctional life I LIVED, is out there for the world to see. Not that the world reads my blog but many will reread all that they missed. While they [family] are back east living the life of caged emotions I am moving on and healing, not giving their lost love a second thought.

Then something happened in 2017 on the road to discovery, an illness to beat all illnesses wrapped around my body and carried me to a cave where I needed reflection and time to think just what all of this meant. I lost quite a few of what I thought were dear friends because I'm not a conventional gal by any means and they are smothered in conventional life, treatment, diagnosis, and illnesses. They live and breathe conventional where I breathe freely the air of truth that I'm given. I may be on my own with a few dear friends, my spiritual family, that have stayed with me and encourage and believe in the path I've chosen because they know, it wasn't MY choice it was the path that God chose for me. Who is anyone to judge another person's path? Whether right or wrong, it is their path, no one else's.

While I hurt over the abandonment, I see that maybe the ones who left were not really true friends and I've become okay with that. I've been alone most of my life anyway (yes with God by my side) and I'm used to not being the accepted one. Shoot, I didn't get bullied because I was Miss Popular! Then there is this year, the year of uncertainty. I'm healing, I'm moving on but from the outside world I sense fear and doubt that I can't handle on a daily basis. I don't feel many people understand what having an extra sense has caused me throughout my lifetime. People laugh and scoff in disbelief and I'm okay with that too. My own sister used to call it, 'that thing' that Joni has. She knew the extra sense existed but was never sure what to call 'that thing' that I have.

With the advent of change -- via Facebook (snooze, unfollow, and many more) options, Blogspot with their not sending my comments to my email and the ad thing from the European Union? along with not allowing 'followers' anymore, and my hits going from the 50-70 range down to the 10-20 range; everything is changing and I need to change right along with the times, it is calling me to change. 

We're also coming to a dim period of having to put my fourteen-year-old dog to sleep. It's a difficult decision for any family and this will surely keep me in my room crying for a spell. Change is coming on a personal level and a worldwide level whether anyone wants to believe it or not. I'm done listening to people who say memes annoy but then post their own. I'm tired of people not knowing a typo from a grammar mistake. I'm tired of everyone finding fault with everyone else but won't look in the mirror at their own faults. I'm also pained by watching a world silently killing themselves on drugs and toxic eating without a care to LIFE and living and making excuses for why they are the way they are.

I won't be alone. I have a strong faith and belief in God and we'll walk together on this journey and wherever we wind up will be by His grace and His alone. Just know, I AM healing and the journey IS moving right along as God has planned. I may continue to post poetry and pics, but my sharing days are done. I need me time for a bit. You all have the grace of God carrying you and may you all pace yourself where an inner healing takes place.  I pray my work for God was well received and that one person, because of my words, was changed in some way. I love you all!

Angel Always...Godspeed, my friends

Psalm 61:2-3, “From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety, for you are my safe refuge, a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me.” (NLT)

The Branch

I crawl out on the lonely branch, 

that can't sustain my weight. 

I try to creep so still in thought, 

reflecting on my fate. 

Up on top this tree so tall, 

I find a quiet place. 

Still are sounds that whistle through, 

the leaves a patient pace. 

What is this that breaks my thought, 

I’m not alone anymore? 

The presence is surrounding me; 

it haunts my very core. 

No longer alone, my thirst is quenched, 

my essence fed by might. 

Surrounded by the stillness of, 

the Radiant Branch of Light.

Jar of Clay

2 Cor. 4:7-9 KJV “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair: Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

ESV 7 “But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;”

While I prefer the KJVersion many find the ESV an easier read. That’s okay with me because I’m a fragile jar of clay spilling out the word. It is not mine to shape and twist for easier reading it is mine to pour out of my earthly vessel.

Many people fear the Word, the Light, the Love that God showers on the world. I find in this physical world that people embrace hate easier than they do love. Love makes people vulnerable. Love is an open wound and touching love brings forth pain. Like salt on a wound, your pain becomes visible to the world. Hiding behind hate and anger is so much easier.

So here I am, an open wound. I have a disease that has people curling up in fear, writhing in pain, losing all sense of self. This illness leaves many alone in a struggle with the only thing in their faces is fear.

Fear tried to afflict me in the earliest of days. I quickly turned to Light and Love and the entire perspective changed for me; I may have been struck down but I was not destroyed! I know quite a few friends asked where my strength comes from and I have to be honest, from the Holy Spirit residing in me, there can be no other place in me to hold such a magnitude of passion except this jar of clay.

Fear was strewn outside the vessel trying to shatter the fragility of the jar but I could not, I would not allow the hardened clay to be tapped by fear. I will not break because someone thinks they know what is better for me. I will defend my honor and hold fast the truth that is a vine climbing inside of me.

A Puritan they say, well praise be, if you think of that as an insult you’d be wrong, if you see the purity in me, you’d be right. A puritan, I’m honored. 
Puritan defined - a person who is strict in moral or religious matters, often excessively so.

I may be an excessive moral person, a strict spiritual person but I am not a religious person, but I like that about me. It surely doesn’t make me any better than you. I am not above anyone. I am a sinner who, if God doesn’t chastise me, I will correct myself. I’ve walked the rigid path, my bare feet scarred by the stones, glass penetrated me and I bled, but I am now healed and I want the world to know of this healing. Is that wrong in wanting to share the Light of the road less taken?

While a doctor tries to use fear, a browser tries to use dominance, people try to use doubt, God uses me to pour out all that’s in this vessel. I’m okay with that, I feel I have a purpose and it isn’t in the materialistic society. I have a Spirit filled with love and everything that entails. I share the love. Judge if you want, I’m okay with that too, if you have a problem with love then you need some deep thinking sessions to see what is missing in you.

I could say the weight of an illness is on my shoulders but no instead I feel the weight of the Lord pressing in on me to spill out all He has shown me. I’m a basin full of living water just waiting for someone to dip their fingers into, to wash their face. I want to share all that the Lord has shared with me. Is that wrong? Is that moral high ground?  

Though some look down on me trying hard to ignore the Light I bring to the table, I see you and it makes me love you all the more. I will not break, I will not shatter, I will not be swayed or inhibited by persecution. I will rise above this disease and look at it from afar, it will be buried in the chasm of my healing cells never to be seen of again.

My hope for the world is that more and more people will be brazen enough to step up to the plate and not be shamed for spreading the Word. But can I give you some advice? Don’t share the Word then turn around and shew forth hate, it kind of gives off a mixed message. There is no confusion where God is concerned. 

Onward Christian 

Rom. 10:17 “So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”

Gateway To Health: The Journey

Rom. 8:25  “But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.”

Gateway to Health: The Journey

On this journey, have I always been filled with confidence? By no means! No one can get a life-altering diagnosis and walk away being filled with confidence. I can honestly say that the only thing that I had the utmost confidence in was God and His promises. I kept that front and center of my mind before I took the initial step of Natural Healing as opposed to chemical healing.

2 Cor. 4:7 “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.”

The first day after the diagnosis I sat in tears for hours on end. I felt for sure my eyes would burst from all the stress I put on them in one day. This was my day of mourning; the day that I put my past unhealthy life behind me and started off on a new journey. With staff in hand, I arose the next day with a mission, a mission of life-altering change! If you remember my former posts you’ll know the staff was needed for balance. My balance wasn’t so great so off I went…

My first line of defense was knowledge and understanding meaning a massive amount of research in what was going on in the disease world, specifically the Disease of Fear. Yup, that’s what cancer is, a disease of fear. That was one of the first things I learned on my step into the future. The disease is wrought with fear, chemicals, drugs, and misdiagnosis. To regain HEALTH, I had to wipe that off the slate right away and keep moving forward.

Some people will say that the disease is not one of fear but they’d be lying to themselves. It’s okay to lie to yourself but I went into this illness with TRUTH. God is my truth and God would guide me. Good or bad, I would accept whatever and wherever I landed. I landed on The Truth About Cancer page as well as Chris Wark’s page ChrisBeatCancer. Why would God lead me here if chemo and fear were the right routes to go, FOR ME?

Reading through these two sites (and many, many more I might add) I was being armored to go against what oncologists demanded of me. Demanded! They were not giving me anything but demands and fear-ridden protocols. When I asked for time to think it over, they demanded I make a decision right then and there or I would DIE! I smelled fear but once again I had to shrug it off and walk on and trust my instincts and most of all trust God.

Some will say, ‘how do you put so much trust and faith in a God that might or might not exist?’ Well let me tell you, I believe He created me, so if He wanted to take me away from this earth he could very well do so and he’s left me here this long. My entire life has been shaped and built on faith and trust in God, why would I NOT trust him now? Why would He let me down, NOW? Because this disease is a life or death matter? I digress, ALL of our lives are life and death, this diagnosis doesn’t change that.

Onto the next leg of the journey, drastically changing where the cause of this illness began, food, stress, and mind. One at a time I went through changing the food protocol, (plant-based for six months) NO CHEATING! And that includes sugars, carbs, and processed foods! 

The mind is a powerful organism. It can make or break you. If you don’t work hard to release the traumatic stress in your life that you subconsciously hold onto, you might as well go the chemo route because nothing will work for you. That’s how vital stress is to this disease or any illness for that matter. 

I was now dressed to change my life or die, I chose life. God chose life for me so the least I can do for Him is choose life also. I watch as so many people are given a life-altering diagnosis, like heart disease and the doctor says, change your diet, and no one does, just give them a drug to keep their heart ticking. Diabetes, the doctor says change your diet, and no one does, just give me a pill to keep my blood pumping. Obesity, change your diet but you say it’s too hard, give me a pill to help me along. Arthritis, change your diet. Psoriasis, change your diet. Do you see the pattern? But for cancer, the doctor NEVER says change your diet! But EVERY website I landed on pointed directly TO the diet! This is the only time in my life that I’ve found YouTube to be vital to aiding me in my healing plan. Using your Immune System to Fight Cancer was just another informative lesson for me to heal.


I am not in the fight for my life, I am on the journey of a lifetime, bringing about the change necessary to LIVE and THRIVE! While the doctors have all abandoned me, and me being in a state that doesn’t support LIFE, it supports doctors and pharmaceutical companies, money and greed, not HEALTH! The only One I can trust on this journey is my FAITH, my God, and my eternal Spirit!

While doctors are only given eight hours of training on nutrition and health, they don’t see the healing power of  ‘you are what you eat’. Their years of training are to pinpoint the illness and medicate. Some will tell you to change your diet and medicate at the same time instead of seeing if it is the overindulgence of bad eating habits that is the CAUSE of the illness or disease you’re experiencing. I think they know you won’t change and would rather stay the same and become dependent upon medication, they’re banking on that.

You may be too far gone to change (I don’t believe that, I do believe you won’t EMBRACE change, even when your life depends on it) and you may be in a state that is for the patient and not against the patient. We all have a CHOICE in the matter, that’s the greatest thing and even with this diagnosis, I CHOOSE LIFE! I am embracing the necessary changes to healthy living. My life depends on it! Your life depends on it. It’s what we do with that knowledge that brings us to the Gateway to HEALTH.

I live with the patience to endure day after day. I’m healthy, I’m alive and the change is worth a few added years to my lifespan. The only way I’m going out of this world is if God decides He needs me more there than doing my work here.


Rom 8:26-31 “Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.
Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.
What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?

A New Year

Psalms 116:8 “For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.”

A New Year

Winning! Victory! Health! Out with the old in with the NEW! 

This New Year is going to be all about health and what the mind can do to help you organize a mindset of winning, for your health. Healthy living is hard. Expensive? If you’re sitting there with cable television, internet, a new iPhone and other gadgets, is your internet use more important than your health? You say you can’t afford healthy food but again, there you sit with gadgets out the gazoo that you pay monthly for upkeep but why isn’t your health worth the same upkeep?

Then I see people trying to navigate their health with supplements. When this disease hit me I turned into a research guru on health and am certainly more knowledgeable than I was a year ago. 

Your health cannot be obtained by supplements and this year my journey is all about healing and health. This year isn’t about a disease or illness. It isn’t about how bad I’m doing, this year is about how GOOD I am doing! Not many people want to know about healthy living but if you do, join me on my journey.

You might be asking yourself where does my strength come from. I hope you know me well enough to know but if you don’t and want in on my little secret, again, join me on this wondrous journey of health and healing!

Many people are amazed at my willpower and I myself am kinda shocked at the will I have to want to remain alive and healthy. I assumed everyone was like me but as I’ve seen my husband struggle with giving up this or that I realized that not everyone has my iron strength. Don’t think this as me stroking my ego because I’ve said numerous times I don’t know where it comes from but I have a clue.

As the New Year unfolds and people are making fake resolutions that they know full well they’ll break in a month, try giving up something on a smaller scale. Not as a resolution to break but as a victory to gain your health! Make it a goal to finish by years end instead of in one night of wanting and wishing. This year I challenge you, strive to give up three things: sugar, dairy, flour/grains. I myself have given up these three things and more, like meat, unhealthy carbs, and toxic living.

My strength comes from what I think is a culmination of multiple things put together. Think of a brick, alone, it is just a brick but where two or three are gathered it becomes a protective wall one that the Wolf in The Three Pigs doesn’t easily huff and puff and blow down. So when asked where mine comes from I have to say, there is strength in the number of bricks I use.

Number one is faith. Walking a fine line between doubt and faith will not work. God was right, man cannot serve two masters. You either walk strong in your faith or you walk a line of doubt. Minimal faith doesn’t cut it when your life is on the line. Take the word ‘but’ out of your vocabulary. I ‘think’ I can do it with God, ‘but’. There it is, the fine line of doubt! Get it right to find success.

The second bit of strength I find is in support. If you don’t have support, anything you try, you will fail. When I was first diagnosed and told my friends I was going the holistic route and trusting in God and my faith, some were in shock and fled, others were extremely opinionated while others moved in closer to give me their full support. Unload the non-supporting crowd, they are not worth having in the first place.

The third portion of my strength is DETERMINATION! When you want to quit drinking, smoking, to lose weight and become healthy you MUST be determined to succeed! Have you ever taken diet pills to lose weight and they didn’t work? It’s because you thought the pill would do all the work for you. That’s not how it works. Your determination is the WORK you yourself put into your eventual victory.

Number four is CHANGE! To become healthy, lose weight, quit drinking or smoking you must change! Change your diet, change your habits, change your routines. To SAVE your LIFE, CHANGE your life! In the beginning, my husband was an obstruction but to me I saw it as a challenge. When he reached for a smoke, I took a walk. When he reached for a Pepsi I refilled my glass of water. When he ate candy I ate fruit! Over time, the weight melted off like butter in the sun and I felt healthy and the best I've ever felt in my entire life. I started feeling better, eating better and living better. Guess what happened? I was having an influence on my hubby and others. In just two months he has given up sugar and is actively changing!

His health is changing, his weight is changing and this wasn’t because he made a resolution in the New Year it’s because he was determined to stay alive! Isn’t that what we are all striving for? In the coming year, the majority of my posts will be about health, eating right, exercise, strength and determination! I might even toss in a few recipes. Live or die!  I wish someone had said that to me more bluntly in my early years, maybe I wouldn’t have shrugged off healthy living for the lusts of the flesh. A Happy, Healthy New Year to you! 

Gal. 5:16-17 “This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.”

The Ten Commandments to Kill The Toxic Invader

Ps. 9:2 "I will be glad and rejoice in thee: I will sing praise to thy name, O thou most High."

The Ten Commandments

To Kill The Toxic Invader

1) Open a vein and look inside the window to your life. Observe yourself and all of the past open wounds that have been seeping all of these years. If you feel scarred, you will feel glass separate you from your inner self, the you in your past. Look deep within your relationships, go back in time to nurture, face and heal those intimate sections of your life that might have been buried. Look at what shames you and causes you to turn your head if people were to know the truth that you’ve burdened yourself with. What guilt do you carry around with you that has kept you from healing that part of the child, the teenager, the woman? Look at the stress and all of the ugly pain associated with that part of your life. Number one will be the hardest thing you face in this healing journey. You know what they say, ‘One is the loneliest number.’ 

2) Be honest with yourself. If you’re going to stand and look in the window and see a perfect person, who knew no sin, then you are the toxic invaders next victim! Honesty is a healer. It can slowly stitch up the severed portion of your skin so it can begin scabbing over and healing completely with no scar left behind. Yes, that’s right, no scar left behind! Be honest in your healing, the non-truth will only hurt you. You’re the one that needs to heal.

3) Change… the norm! Change your fears, change your shame, change your diet, embrace a new you. There are going to be many challenges and changes in every way, shape, and form, literally. Two years from now you’ll look back at this time and wonder who you are right now. You won’t be staring in the window of a traumatized person, you will be looking into the face of a healed wounded soul. Change your way of thinking. Change your food, change your water, change everything from pots and pans to the soaps and shampoo you use. Now is the time for change…drastic change!

4) Pray and meditate! To whatever you believe in, now is the time to pray. My earnest faithful prayer is toward God in heaven. If you’ve ever read any of my blog posts, you will know, God is first and foremost in my life. Without Him, I would never attempt alternative treatment. If Jesus isn’t everything to you, then He is nothing to you. If healing is taking place in you then you know what it feels like to touch the hem of Jesus’ robe. 

Meditation also brings the healing to the surface as it slowly simmers the blood in your veins. You face what has leaked into your body to cause the cells damage head-on, you face the trauma in you with the One and only healer. I cannot attest to any healing taking place if you believe in nothing. All the diet change in the world won’t save you, it might be able to help you deal with chemo, but that is NOT an alternative route to healing this disease.

5) Just say no! We all have the power to say no, but we all know that sometimes we can be weak and never say no to anyone or anything. Take for example our food choices, we know they’re no good for us, our doctor has warned us, you’ve read about the dangers but you still reach for tempting, heart-damaging, health ravaging toxins. Say no to chemo, so no to oncologists that only believe in the almighty dollar. Believe in the power of real healing and you’ll begin to feel a real healing taking place. The only way to accomplish that is Just Say No! 

6) Research. Research your heart out. You might feel overwhelmed with information but then you’ll need to surround yourself with supportive like-minded individuals. The more research you do, the more empowered you’ll feel in your fight against naysayers who think you’re crazy. The more empowered you feel the more doorways to healing present themselves and God Himself walks beside you allowing channels to miraculously open that you thought might have been closed off to you. 
As the months' pass, you’ll feel the best you’ve ever felt. Pounds will shed like dandruff, food will have an enhanced flavor, skin and hair will take on a new luxurious look. While other cancer patients are falling ill, vomiting, sick in pain, you’ll be feeling great and wondering why more people haven’t gone this route. Fear, they fear the stigma surrounding the diagnosis, not the disease itself.

7. Supplements. Your body has announced over the bullhorn to you that you're sick, something’s not right and the noise and static have starched you into attention. Your cells are screaming out that they’re damaged and need repair. The symptoms have been clawing at you year after year, your instincts have been poking you with an icepick for you can’t remember how long, you’ve waited and waited it out and the problem never went away. Now with your immune system shot, your cells are done, they’re dying. Unless you save them! SAVE the cells you’re blessed with! Wake up and take charge, seize the very moment you’ve been given. Your doctor might want to hand you drugs and you readily take them because after all, he is a doctor. If he/she has heard of supplementation, ask if they are willing to work with herbs and vitamins BEFORE the drugs. They will, of course, say they can’t because they don’t know enough about them. It’s okay, you know why? Because you have already read through number six and are now aware of more than when you walked into the doctor's office.

If it is a matter of life and death: like you’ve had a heart attack and they need you to take medication to live, then by all means, listen to your doctor. If he tells you that you have the Big C, that leads us right to number eight.

8. Never fear! The word cancer in and of itself conjures fear. WHY, because everyone has lost someone to this disease. They’ve never heard of or known that there was another way to healing, why? Because of fear. The doctors' race in with the fear tactic even when you’re stage one, non-invasive. Did you know there are four stages? Why would a doctor tell a young mother who has found a rice size lump that she is going to die if she doesn’t get that piece of rice slaughtered out of her breast? Then they’ll radiate her to make sure they got it all and more times than not, they NEVER get it all. That’s because the tests, the digging, the radiating, the chemo all cause the C cells to spread. They don’t tell you that do they? No, they sure don’t. They tell you they got it all, send you and your drugs on their merry way and if you’ve done nothing to change your life, I can guarantee the C will resurface. But because of the research, you did in number six, you no longer live in fear!

9. Repair. Do everything and anything, legal or illegal to save your own life because rest assured there is nobody going to do it for you. Everyone is out for their own selves in this dog eat dog world, so save yourself with the love and strength of God and most importantly keep the faith in healing. Repair the inside and outside of you with all of the above tools. Fight like you’ve never been in a boxing ring but are well prepared to go a few rounds. Come out fighting and believe you're winning!

10. Rejoice! This is one you’ll want to do every day that you wake up alive and get to look in your husband or son’s eyes. Another day to be with the ones you love who are there for you in your world, making your concern their priority. You’ll want to rejoice in your healing. Praise God for the opportunities in front of you. You need to REJOICE in the midst of doubt and fear; wash off the dirty sediment that fear tries to sling at you. Rejoice in being alive. You are HEALING! Live it! BELIEVE it!!!

God Bless You!

A rock God placed in my path! 

Illness Knows No Bounds

Pss. 67:2 "That thy way may be known upon earth, thy saving health among all nations."

Even the Healthy Get Sick

I just read an article about a young woman age thirty-two who was a vegan, health nut, she exercised daily, non-smoker in her prime, and she has stage four lung cancer.

I pretty much know how I contracted this disease, and knowing is part of the healing. But this young lady has no idea. She was doing everything right and yet, she was still hit by this disease.

To me, this is proof of the toxic world we live in. She ate the right foods, more than likely non-organic because organic is more or less a new thing. She didn’t smoke but was an avid jogger. I imagine the toxins she inhaled jogging daily was worse than smoking five packs of cigarettes a day. She washed her hair, probably dyed it too, she used deodorant and soap put out with chemicals in them. Then she probably drank water either toxic faucet water or water in a plastic bottle. All toxic.

When we think we’re doing the best we can for our health, we’re smacked with the truth that no, we are not doing everything that needs to be done to stay alive. We are not vigilant enough when it comes to our health. We’re vigilant when it comes to posting on Facebook, we’re active when something happens in our nation, we throw our support behind the wrongs and right of society but our health? That takes a back burner while we’re looking the other way, the wolf is sneaking into the den.

We have defiled God’s plan for man and beast!

Psalms 104:14 “He causeth the grass to grow for the cattle, and herb for the service of man: that he may bring forth food out of the earth;”

Did you read that scripture? At one time, it was the norm for cattle to be raised on grass, herbs were the source of medicine, and oils were the tincture they turned to. Now if someone says they eat grass-fed beef, they’re looked at as if they’re not normal. 

I love it when people say, “I’d die before I gave up ______.” Fill in the blank, is it beef, coffee, sugar? What would you die for before you gave it up? Think about that seriously. Because when death taps you on your shoulder like you’re given a life-altering illness, would you still rather die before giving something up? I wouldn’t rather die. I know some of my posts sound otherwise, but honestly, I do want to live and get this, I’ll DIE TRYING to live! How funny is that? (not haha, ironic)

I’m sure some of you understand the gamut of emotions I must go through in a day, a week or a month but the emotions don’t cling to me and shape my healing. I write about them good or bad, express the inner turmoil, have people nodding their head in agreement because they too are doing everything to stay alive. 

Often when I’m feeling my lowest asking the why’s I’m doing what I’m doing, I’m told from the higher ups that these struggles are to attain the home that they have waiting for me. It’s like they saved me a spot and they want to make sure I get there, but I need to run the race first.

We’re all in this race together. It’s like running a marathon; some are slow, some are fast, some drop out mid way, some collapse from exhaustion but there are a FEW who make the million-mile stretch to the end!

1 Cor. 9:24 “Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain.”

The Lord doesn’t ask us to give him half of our self, He’d like it if we gave it our all and submitted all of our self. I can’t hammer this truth home hard enough, our bodies are a temple, we should move full steam ahead in treating it as such. Why do we treat infants with gentle loving care? Because they are precious! Why do we tend our gardens with such intimate grace? Because more times than not our gardens are taking care of US! So why would you treat your body any different? Why are your health and life not as precious as an infant or a garden? Let me tell you, IT IS!! Treat it as such and you too will win this race before us. 

1 Cor. 6:19 “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?”

Be Not Conformed

Rom. 8:4 “That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.”

Be Not Conformed

Yes, not choosing the mainstream chemo/slice and dice method is my choice and I have to live with this choice while people swim upstream to bask on the sunny beach along the shore. I see my battle from inside my own mind and never really thought about how it looked to other people on the outside looking in.

To some I appear a little bit crazy probably because they’ve never seen anyone take a diagnosis like this and tackle the healing part on their own, it’s just not done! If I were truly alone, I can assure you, I would have never gone in this direction.

Rom. 8:2 “For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.”

To me, the conformists I’ve read about can be Christians but they’ve conformed to the ways of the world. They read the Bible, see all of the amazing miracles, works, jobs, or duties of the men and women written about but for some reason, I guess they think God stopped working miracles when the man physically stopped writing the bible. 

They might believe miracles still happen but ‘to other people’, you know, those rare instances where the media pushes the story, or people are so loud a person hears about it via word of mouth. Yeah, miracles only happen to ‘those people’?

What about infants? I always hear people saying ‘what a miracle’ a baby is but do they really believe that? What concept do you believe that miracles happen to other people and infants are miracles? Look at the whole picture, we were all infants once; we were just a passionate thought of two people and God blessed the joining of two and out came…YOU! Yes, that’s right, you are a living miracle. It is what we conform to that makes us a not so special miracle anymore.

Do you ever think of the Lazarus story? He was a miracle, brought back to life. We’ve read about it, believed it, but what happened ten years down the line? Did he go back to being a ‘man of this world’ or did the miracle of Jesus bringing him back to life change him?

We have to think about these things if we are ever to become devout Christians. Too often I’ve read ‘be not conformed to this world’ yet when I look around all I see are people, conformed to this world, whether they’re Christians or not; conformity thrives and is very much alive.

While no one is perfect and we’re all out here just striving to live, to me be not conformed takes on extreme meaning. Conformity to me is being like everyone else, following the herd, walking the same line, and thinking inside the box. Well let me tell you, I’m not a rebel, I’m a ‘thinking outside the box’ kind of person. When you see a box as square I can show you how it is really round as the globe, with infinite possibilities, whereas you see the box as square because that is what you were taught. You take everything at face value.

Do you see what I’m getting at here? When I look up the word conformity, it gives me this meaning: action in accord with prevailing social standards, attitudes, practices, etc.. Can you see by the definition, that you have been conformed to the world? Even though the very bible you read daily tells you not to be conformed, you conform anyway because that is what everyone else is doing and for some reason, you have a need to fit in with this society. 

Rom. 12:2 “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

As you can imagine, I’ve never fit in. Growing up I was called the rebel, I was always the one who thought about the broader spectrum of life, like of an infinite cosmos or eternal life. To me, these things were real as for others they were just a part of what they conformed to or were taught. Do they actually live and believe? Ask yourself that question when judging my choice in this diagnosis and treatment.

The other night it hit me pretty hard how I might be seen by other people when a friend (thank you Angela) directed me to a movie, Trolls. It was a kiddie movie (cute as all get out nonetheless) but it held a deeper meaning to me and helped me to see how some people might be viewing my incredible route I’m taking. Thank you for seeing outside the box! 

Rom. 8:1 “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.”

Let me share the lyrics of one of the songs in the movie with you, I’ve colored them to fit my story: 

I really hope I can do it

'Cause they're all depending on me

I know that I must leave the only home I've ever known

And brave the dangers of the forest

Saving them before they're eaten

I mean, how hard can that be?

Looking up at a sunny sky, so shiny and blue and there's a butterfly

Well, isn't that a super fantastic sign

It's going to be a super fantastic day

Such marvelousness

It's gonna bring a pocket full of songs that I'm gonna sing

And I'm ready to take on anything

Hooray!

Some super fun surprise around each corner

Just riding on a rainbow, I'm gonna be okay

Hey!

I'm not giving up today

There's nothing getting in my way

And if you knock knock me over

I will get back up again

If something goes a little wrong

Well you can go ahead and bring it on

'Cause if you knock knock me over, I will get back up again

Whoa oh oh oh, get back up again, whoa oh oh oh oh oh

I'm marching along I got confidence

I'm cooler than a pack of peppermints

And I haven't been this excited since

I can't remember when!

I'm off on this remarkable adventure

Just riding on a rainbow

What if it's all a big mistake

What if it's more than I can take

No, I can't think that way 'cause I know that

I'm really really gonna be okay

Hey!

I'm not giving up today

There's nothing getting in my way

And if you knock knock me over

I will get back up again

If something goes a little wrong

Well you can go ahead and bring it on

'Cause if you knock knock me over, I will get back up again

JESUS Loves Me!

crop duster

Zephaniah 3:17 “The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.”

Jesus Love Me

I sit here suffering from a disease of a lifetime of which I ignored the detection signs and some might ask, “Really, you think Jesus loves you? He gave you that disease.” I would love to take a wet sock and slap a few people over the face with it who think that. Jesus did no such thing as give me a disease. The blame game happens all of the time, even when a child dies people fall away from Christ because they ask how could a loving God take away a child?

I have written over and over again how through suffering the Light of our God shines the brightest through us, but some people would just rather go on with their day to day monotony than to see a Shining Light.

Do you blame God for forest fires? Or do you only blame him when a firefighter loses the battle of living trying to fight the fire? Do you blame him for arctic ice melting, floating downstream to devastate a coastline? Do you blame Him for hurricanes and storms, or just the aftermath of its destruction?

You see, God isn’t in the event that is happening; He is in the reaction of a people who would rather lay blame on something or someone other than themselves than to take action to remedy the situation. The storms are a reaction to what is going on with the climate. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that one out.

He is not in this manmade disease; He is in how I react to it. I don’t call the disease by its name because I won’t own it. That is not denial it is reacting to what is living in me besides my heavenly Father, I prefer to shed Light on Him than any disgusting disease. But people need to know that God, in all His beauty shines a Light on the dark desperation one feels when facing disaster.

You know, I actually know people who think the GMO scare is all a farce? At a cookout, I’d like a nice bottle of roundup sitting on the table along with ketchup and mustard and when someone says, what is that doing here, that’s poison. I’d like to say, “Well, that is on the majority of your food you eat, it’s not much different than a condiment at the table.”

The ‘Christian’ farmers I know actually think that the toxins and GMO's are a necessity to ‘protect’ you; they don’t see how much it is actually KILLING. They play the blame game pointing fingers at everyone except man because well, that would be pointing fingers right in their own faces and they can’t have that now can they?

I happen to know that Jesus loves me. Amid all the turmoil in the world, all the death and disease, destruction and annihilation, Jesus loves ME! And I love Him but for some reason, I feel it is not nearly as much as He loves me.  Call me crazy if you want, it’s better than being a finger-pointer playing the blame game. 

I’m trying to bring Light and Hope to a world set in its ways to destroy and die.

Just some information for you to sink your eyes into:

MSG’s – Monosodium-glutamate
more on MSG's

GMO’s - A genetically modified organism, or GMO, is an organism that has had its DNA altered or modified in some way through genetic engineering. In most cases, GMOs have been altered with DNA from another organism, be it a bacterium, plant, virus or animal; these organisms are sometimes referred to as "transgenic" organisms.

How can scientists say GMO’s are safe when there hasn’t been enough time to study the damages it is causing? Why are humans all about the almighty dollar, that is all GMO’s crops are all about, not the human destruction. I’ll trust MY instincts on this one and not ‘scientists’ funded by the ‘governement’!

When I look at this disease I’m LIVING WITH, I need to seek out possible causes and I’m 99% sure it is from what I put inside my body, not a stroke of bad luck as GMO fanatics say. It’s not genetics, supposed it’s from Genetically Modified Food that we’ve been secretly ingesting for years, along with other elements. The bottom line is, I’m sick and the ignorance of people is what will kill me and others with this disease.

I’m going to go on LIVING and let you all dissect the climate, the toxins that are allowed, and bow down to the people bringing death upon you while I will continue to bring the LOVE of Christ to a nation who NEEDS love! It is the only thing going to save you from death. 

All Glory to God!  

A New Way Of Living

Prov. 28:1 (KJV) “The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion.” 

A New Way Of Living

When I first went to the doctor in January (and successive doctors) they all seemed to ask the same questions of me and one of the main symptoms of this disease surfaced, “Have you experienced rapid weight loss?” 
“Nope, I sure haven’t; I’ve been a pretty steady weight person not rapidly gaining or losing."
“Bleeding?”
“Nope.”
“Leakage?”
“Nope.” Nothing about me said I had this disease but here I am, four months later battling the disease of a lifetime. 

Everything changed on January 25, 2017. That was the day of my diagnosis; the day my world flipped upside down and everything changed for me. I would never be the same person again after this day. I would be a new tried and true transfiguration of the old me in the coming months. I would be the same me but physically, spiritually and mentally everything would be thrust into overdrive and I’d be in the race of my life, for my life.

While people are out there in the world trying every weight loss concoction imaginable from Slim Fast to Weight Watchers, to Jenny Craig, so you can spend hundreds of dollars on their product to lose the weight you’ve struggled your life to lose. From pills to shakes to patches, everything under the sun is used to promote these products. Do you know the one thing that is cheap and isn’t readily accepted? Change in the diet! A new way of living.

While I don’t know or understand the struggles of losing weight I am not one to inform you on the nutrition craze of the race I’m in. Promote nutrition? When doctors across the world are promoting drugs and pills, surgery, and lifelong commitments to their ‘programs of pharma’, the people who promote nutrition and health are laughed and scoffed at, only because we live in a world of quick fixes.

Yesterday I faced and overcome a battle I knew would take place. I did not allow fear to have me flee, instead, I faced a Q&A from the family. My hubby’s aunt and three uncles were in town from different parts of the U.S. for their yearly get together on Memorial Day and while I didn’t want to be a part of a Memorial Day cookout, his aunt had told me at the wedding a couple of weeks ago, that she’d come out to my house to see me if we didn’t come to the cookout. We went to his moms on Sunday instead where we chatted.

His aunt asked all of the questions, from what are you eating, why no nuts, to my stance on no chemo. I was okay with it, I didn’t feel intimidated or persecuted instead I felt love and compassion. This is the awesome family I never had as a child and I am blessed to even be in their lives. 

I told them how I’m utilizing my Frankincense and soon to be added Myrrh, which is still under clinical studies (and will be for many more years) as to the promise in treating this dastardly disease. I told his, sound biblical family, how the wise men brought these things to Jesus at His birth because these elements would be used at His death, they knew because they were Wise Men. *Chuckle chuckle laugh laugh.*

His family sat mesmerized and quite amazed at my transformation in four months and his aunt offered, you’ve really done your research. I mentioned once again that I’m a writer and that is what we do so we can bring you the most knowledgeable information we have. We try to bring you the truth as we know it so our writing holds credibility. She was pleased. His aunt with the cherubic face was pleased. 

It was an informative weekend as I learned that his aunt, who is eighty or nearing it, who drives from South Dakota to visit her family in Nebraska, was also having medical issues of her own, and that she was a STUDENT OF TAI CHI! 

I left feeling good about the visit and the only thing I feel I left hanging was the error of them assuming I’m against medical intervention where health is concerned. I need my writing community to understand I am not against MEDICINE or the medical community because I KNOW people are still alive today BECAUSE of the drugs they are given by the doctor! What I AM against is the doctors closed minds to anything nutritious that would benefit you. There are doctors out there willing to work with you, but where I am? They’re far and few between!

Like his aunt taking Tai Chi. She said that the class was held, ironically, at a Cancer Center and it is offered to patients (cancer and otherwise) at a reduced rate, to HELP them with what they are experiencing medically. Since moving is not an option, I have to try whatever works for me out here in the middle of nowhere.

While people are out in the world struggling with their weight and other health issues, they’d much rather sink hundreds if not thousands of dollars in programs that are essentially a quick fix to what really ails them and that is their HEALTH! It can all be changed by CHANGE in your diet! There are herbal remedies for thinning your blood, there are herbal diuretics, homeopathic remedies that could possibly eliminate your heart medication and so much more is out there waiting for you to harvest. 

I’m not against the medical community, I’m against them not giving you the entire spectrum of what will heal you. I’m against lies and deception. Whether that is the medical community, political community and yes, even the religious community. I’m against the wicked machinations of them trying to relinquish me to a trembling fear-laden woman. I’d rather fight like a LION and come out roaring. If I live or die in the process, I can say I didn’t succumb to conformity. The easiest not-so-easy diet doesn’t cost a lot of money, it cost a new way of LIVING!

Gen. 6:12 “And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth."

Love!

1 John 4:8 “He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.”

I LOVE YOU!

Three simple words can change someone’s day, make their life feel worthwhile, send out positive signals of endorphins to move you and motivate you to go and have a positive productive day. 

I found this interpretation of love extraordinarily spot on! A good read on understanding the different levels of love. 

While love seems hard to define, my simplest explanation is this; God is love! If you can feel an intense compassion for everyone and everything in this world without being wrapped up in hate and finger pointing, you have found God and know all that He is! He IS love!

2 Tim 1:7  “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

When someone asks me how I’m doing, I’m thinking to myself, ‘well, I’m getting through every day and every single moment in love.’ Love is my emotional blanket and the one thing I will carry with me to my death. God is my love. This might sound weird but Jesus is the first man I fell in love with and to this day I still love all that He is to me. 

God is not anger, God is not frustration, so when you feel these things toward people you are not feeling God or displaying all that He is. The past couple of days feeling those emotions sent me into a repentance phase. Anger and frustration are not me and if any of my friends know one thing about me is I’m all about love. They see God in me through the love I emit.

Angry and bitter people say, ‘I have a right to be angry’ and maybe they do but it is not of God. I understand being angry some of the time but to consistently every day spew hate, anger, and frustration is a negative aspect that really hurts innocent people. Is that the intention of the grumpy angry person? It is certainly not who I am! When I feel that way I feel utterly remorseful and feel a need to repent and search my soul.

Just like this disease I’m carrying around, I didn’t see what my bad eating habits were doing to my body until it was too late and inside smothering me. This is the same effect that anger and hatred have on the people around you, you won’t know the damage you’ve caused until it is too late.

This isn’t just about food and what I can and cannot eat. I may come off as being consumed with telling you all of my eating woes. It has some to do with the Season of Family gatherings. When you say very clearly I can’t go to a restaurant or a reception where meat, booze, and more unhealthy stuff abounds because I don’t eat meat, I only eat organic veggies and fruit. They say oh, I understand, but then turn around and ask if they’ll see me at the Memorial Day cookout they have (every year). Well, the answer is NO, but then I’m explaining myself all over again! And no, booze is never ever served at their family gatherings.

I don’t want people to change for me, I want them to change for themselves. But please don’t expect me to be the same person I was a year ago because guess what, my life HAS CHANGED DRASTICALLY! I am not the same and I am all the better for it, too!

People don’t understand when a person is consumed with love and trying everything in their power and the Higher Power to bask in a healing waterfall. They only understand love when the need arises or when it fits their life. Can you imagine if God only loved you some of the time because He has a right not to love you ALL of the time? How unrealistic is it to feel that way? Well God does love you ALL of the time so what is so hard for people to love all of the time? I know... they're human. 

The enemy is out there lurking, trying to turn the love in the world into hate. I strive every single day to bring forth love and when I can’t, I close myself off from the world until I can come forth in the Light of Love once again to share a positive reflection of God in me. 

This week I lost an uncle, in April his ex-wife (my aunt) passed, and in December his son (my cousin) passed. Their deaths, three in the same family, have left me wondering, why has God taken them and left me alive? In the thirteen years that I’ve been away from my hometown I have lost seven family members that I can remember, it seems they just keep going. I know we all must go but seriously, why keep me alive? Is this the reason He brought me out here?

Mortality is not what I’m consumed with, I’m drinking in LIFE and LOVE and if you’re of the life and love portion of my life, I LOVE YOU; three words that can mean the world to someone. If you’re reading this, I THANK YOU for being on this journey, accepting me unconditionally and truly understanding what I’m going through! 

Thank you for reading. I’m healing and loving the world and embracing LIFE! Praise be to God! 

1 John 3: 22 “And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.”