Light In The Dark

Outside my back door!

Pss. 1:1-2  "Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.

Light in the Dark

Well, I’m taking a much needed break from the internet activities that had absorbed my world. Hey, I’ve even gotten some cleaning done in the process. It’s pretty amazing what happens when you prioritize your time and eliminate the Black Hole of negativity that tries to consume you on every click. 

I’m still here writing! There is no Black Hole that can take that away from me because basically, it is my medicine to get all the dark out and let the light into my world. I’m trying to be a light in the dark and while some might see me as a self-righteous snob others see me as the inspirational message that they might need to hear on any given day. 

I need to say this in my own defense of my recent ramblings. If there is a person out there reading my words and thinks I’m speaking about them directly and their lives then you need to do a deep soul searching to find the reason you feel that I’m speaking about you in particular.

When there are hundreds or thousands, possibly millions of people on the same conscious stream, meaning everyone thinking alike, you are bound to think I am targeting you in general. That’s what a writer does without pinpointing one person.  We write about the collective whole and finding the vein that pulsates from your weakness. And technically, that is what it is, a weakness you have embraced and not healed from within yourself. 

We all hold a light force deep within us but many allow the black hole of a negative society to own them. The light cannot and will not shine no matter how much you fake the you that you display to the world. There is a healing place and the only one that I’ve found for myself is not from friends or family, because sometimes they are transmitters of negativity and if anyone knows my family, you would say, run for your life child. 

No, my healing place is meditation on the Word. I find positive energy in the Light and love of the Psalms and Proverbs. Yes the entire bible is to be read (Old and New Testament) but to actually find the light force, you need to meditate on the positive elements, not the chronological aspects that might leave you with questions, bewilderment, a need for proof and more answers. 

There’s a healing place that is not meant to be hidden in the bible, but so many get lost with the metaphors or timeline of events and the shroud of darkness that is in the Bible; elements of incest, rape, and murder. They get lost trying to figure it all out when the Bible was meant to be a tool for you to build or rebuild the life you have before you.

Do you think it was coincidence that the chosen ones were sinners among men? Do you think that Joseph, the carpenter, wasn’t some form of symbolism of the life we are to build in Christ? The bible is heavy laden with metaphors and symbolism and God asks us not to get tied up with dissecting them but to hear the word, live the word and build your life around the word. Then and only then will you emit a Light that no dark hole can ever swallow and penetrate. 

As I watch a dark hole swallow up the people in society, I want to reach right in and grab them before they get pulled so far into the hole that they can never get out. You can and WILL lose the battle because the oxygen sustaining life will be sucked right out of you and there is no turning back.

I apologize to anyone whom my words hurt, if any. I write to make you (people in general) aware of the fine line between right and wrong. Yes, I’m a sinner and get tugged on more occasions than I care to mention but I fight, fists first to win a battle of good and evil, for me, good always wins! It’s the optimist in me. I will always see the Light in the dark and BE the light in the dark times. 

Praise be to God!

Joel 1: 15-20 “Alas for the day! for the day of the LORD is at hand, and as a destruction from the Almighty shall it come. 

Is not the meat cut off before our eyes, yea, joy and gladness from the house of our God? The seed is rotten under their clods, the garners are laid desolate, the barns are broken down; for the corn is withered. How do the beasts groan! the herds of cattle are perplexed, because they have no pasture; yea, the flocks of sheep are made desolate.

O LORD, to thee will I cry: for the fire hath devoured the pastures of the wilderness, and the flame hath burned all the trees of the field.

The beasts of the field cry also unto thee: for the rivers of waters are dried up, and the fire hath devoured the pastures of the wilderness.

No Doubt

"Squelch the doubt with a challenge, you'll be surprised how high you climb." ~Joni

I sometimes come off as harsh, and if yesterdays post offended anyone, please accept my apologies. Anyone that knows me, knows I’m honest, to a fault. I tell it like it is and I tell the truth. It may not be YOUR truth but it is all I know to be TRUTH. And yes, the truth hurts some of the time.


A lot of times as I’m writing I have no specific person in mind, but often I’m told, “That spoke to ME!” I’m glad that in my writing, you can see yourself there. Honestly, this is more about me, finding my place, but if it speaks to you, well then, all the better.

We as writers live in self-doubt. We always doubt our work, our sincerity, our façade. What? You don’t have a façade? Come on now, be honest with yourself and you’ll feel better. A façade is like a mask. You wake in the morning, slide your foot into your slippers and shuffle off to make coffee, making plans in your head of what needs to be done for the day.

You put your face on as you listen to the computer hum to life. “I’m feeling good about this today.” You say to yourself, “I’m going to write.” Then it happens, the façade slips over your face, you head somewhere you have no intention of writing and spend your day, wallowing in self-absorption for hours on end and then wonder, “Hey, where did the time go?”

No writing was accomplished and that was truly your intention when you slid in the chair in the morning, but by now it is afternoon, and you have so much more of life to take care of, like washing clothes, cleaning, the mundane chores. Then when it is time to slide into bed, there it hits you, the self- doubt. “This just isn’t for me” you say, “I’m no good.” Blah blah blah.

To get over this hurdle of self- doubt, you need to prioritize your time! Sometimes we have every intention of coming in and writing but we’re sidetracked, not because we found something more interesting but because we’re really trying to subdue our intent. We intend to write, but we’re not forced to do it, so we don’t.

Make writing a priority. To do this, open word document instead of the Internet. I, a lot of the time, get lost in my email and reading today’s Top Stories, then I need to share what I’ve read and then it’s gone, the precious moments of the morning in which I choose to write.

Note to self:

1. Prioritize – If you are really serious about being a writer, you must make it a precedent and force yourself to ignore emails, facebook, Top News.

2. Mantra – Adopt a mantra that you’ll repeat over and over again. “I’m going to write!” or “I can do it, I know I can.”

3. Set goals – This is important too as you don’t want to start off like the Hare in the Turtle and the Hare race. We all know what happens there don’t we? “I’ll start off with 500 words a day, and raise it when I’m comfortable.”

4. DON’T GET DISCOURAGED – This is easier said than done. Sometimes we see we’re not getting anywhere, so we give up. If you hit this block in the road, it is important to find an avenue you’re comfortable with. Find a site that offers prompts, copy many of them down, and get off the internet to WRITE!

5. Turn off the voices – You know we all have them, that’s where self-doubt rings in our ears. If they become too insistent, play music. It sometimes distracts you from the voices, puts you in a zone to write.

6. Determination – Be determined in your writing. Determined to accomplish a great feat. Determined to alter the negative voices into positive inspiration that will feed you on your journey.

Now get writing. Stare at the blank page as if it were a conquerable mountain that you dare to climb. Dare yourself to go there and write as if it is a challenge that you’re going to tackle head on. Our voices don’t like challenges, because that is where self-doubt is born.

I can’t encourage you every single day to write your heart out. I can’t hold your hand and walk you through this but I can offer you a positive, uplifting voice, that you’ll never hear, only read. It is now up to you to go forward with NO DOUBT.

Procrastination!

Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. ~William James
***

Have you ever heard the words, “Don’t put off til tomorrow, what you can do today?” With me, procrastination seems to be my middle name.

I’m always putting off something one way or another. In my writing world, I’ll say, “I’ll write about that tomorrow.” And guess what, four days later I’m still trying to put it all together in my head so I CAN write about it.

Even this post, I started writing it and wound up veering off topic and wrote a poem instead. At least it is writing, right? I wanted to start a new blog, I put that off. I wanted to wash up the floor, and beau began to wash the walls. I wanted to wash clothes but instead I played computer chess (which I won a few games, I might add!)

I just want to procrastinate, I think it is in my blood, the genetic gene pool. I believe it was inbred into my system to put off whatever I can and it will just go away! I don’t believe that, but if it is genetically mutated into my system, how do I get rid of it?

How much do you want to bet that this post gets put off again. It is 9:00 am Monday morning, and this is not getting posted within twenty minutes that’s for sure!

Okay, let’s figure out what causes this Procrastination.

1. The number one cause is DISTRACTION. You can be distracted by an email, a phone call, or by surfing for things unrelated to your writing, like FACEBOOK. By allowing these distractions to consume you, you are also allowing Procrastination to fester like a mold!

2. CHORES - Have you ever had a chore to do, and put off writing, to do that instead? To be honest here, I do it all the time. My chores seem to come first where writing is concerned. Mowing, vacuuming, dusting, scrubbing, all important aspects of my procrastination disease.

3. PRIORITIES - What we see as a priority, may not be a priority, and it takes us away from our only chance at the quiet stillness of the morning. The time, for me,  that I can really dive into writing.

4. ATTITUDE - Yup, attitude. I have the attitude that I’ll get to it when I get to it. I put it off because I think it will still be waiting for me when I get there, not realizing someone might get there first. They’ll grab the thought right out of my head and act upon it, where me, I’ll still be sitting back with my attitude in check, and putting off what was supposed to be DONE!

5. Last but certainly not least....THE POTHOLE SYNDROME - A dear friend told me this weekend: We all have our own roads we must travel on. Sometimes during the ride we run through large, gaping pot holes. Other times it's smooth sailing. No ones road is perfect. So don't worry about it. Just keep your eyes on the finish and God will help us through the pot holes. ~ M.D.

I needed to hear that. I need to fill those potholes with the flowers of my writing and that nasty ol’ disease PROCRASTINATION can hopefully, flee! Finished 9:39 a.m.!

Prioritizing!

1 John 4:7  Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.
***

As a new month begins so does the need to prioritize. Have you ever just been wandering around, doing things just to do them, then find that you’re not really doing anything at all anyway? Well, that’s how it has been here.

I’m not mentoring F2K this session (the free writing course I’m always talking about) and that was one of my main tips in the prioritizing scale. It totally drained me back in the February class, and this time I chose, enough is enough, it’s time to think about me! Not that I’m selfish by any means, I just know there are things more important in life right now, and while I love aiding and assisting the new writer, I have to think of my sanity or I’m not going to be in any position to help anyone else.

I woke this morning and decided that facebook would not be my first stop. That place is a ridiculous mess also, but it is where I can connect with my sister and niece daily, and touch base while inspiring people so they have just one positive to begin their day. Can you imagine never hearing anything positive? So my goal is to greet people in the morning with a note of something positive and be on my way.

Today though, not even handing folks a positive note felt right. I read that Osama Bin Laden was killed and it drew some really uneasy emotions in me since I’m not a political person to say the least. I remember him coming onto the scene as the mastermind of the devastating events of 911, I knew we were looking to kill him, but that’s about it. I'm not up on the latest gossip.

As I write this, I peeked into facebook and was going to just pass on a positive note but I was immediately slapped upside the head with negativity. I can not stand it, when this free country rails against their own president. If it isn’t one thing it is another. And in the history of my life, the Americans who are FREE, choose to degrade, belittle, demean every single president that is in office. (Even the favorites like Kennedy and Reagan.)

You’d think that people would have more important things to do but these folk are bored, tired, angry, bitter, heartless, emotionless people, who have nothing better to do in life. They’ll claim they’re just tired of the government, but tell me, who isn’t? Would you prefer living in a Third World Country? Pakistan possibly? Korea, Russia, China?

Be grateful for EVERYTHING that you have. Stop holding onto bitterness no matter WHAT country you live in. Make the most of the daily life that you must live, and that is NOT slinging mud at others. We are here, we have one shot at life and energy is being wasted on negativity where it could be spent on prioritizing the more important things in life that will get you through a day.

Live life to the fullest does not mean be full of hate and anger people! Fill all those holes in your life with LOVE and maybe your world will be a better place to live, if not for others, then for yourself!

Prioritize

May the sun fall upon you, may the rain drizzle your skin, whatever the weather where you are, let the joy of a new day begin! ~joni
***

It is certainly hard to sit down and write, when outside the window Spring is happening all over the place. I mean, little sprouts of green are popping up everywhere, Robins are doing some kind of waltz on the front lawn, trees are slowly being filled in with buds, evident on each and every stem. Yes, Spring is happening right outside my window!

I always sit in awe of the glory that comes alive with Spring. While winter rests in dormancy, fall has its departure of leaves and summer has its scorching heat and humidity, Spring has livelihood like no other season.

I often do my Spring cleaning to prepare not only the house but my spirit for cleanliness. It’s as if, if I have a clean house, then my soul will come alive and do a jitterbug and bring into me a buoyant springtime propulsion of zest and zeal!

But Spring is also the time I prioritize. The time I take into consideration those things that are front and center, things that are important to me and have an affect on my life. The computer is not in the forefront of my life, social forums do not hold me captive, games are there but only a shadow to the real meaning in my life.

Writing! That is standing right there in my face looking at me, begging me, pleading with me to drink from the letter pool. Sure I use the computer for writing, but it doesn’t own me. I have a notebook that I can scribble in so this technology is not going to wrap its slithering arms around me and yank me into its vortex.

While the social scene is a fun place to meet with your virtual friends, it is not the end all to all of your existence. Hey people, there is a world right outside your window, balloons written with the words 'REJOICE IN SPRING' on them are passing you by as you bind yourself to a false sense of happiness.

As priorities take the stage and the curtain rises to accolades of applause, you will see that life is not going to pass you by as you sit and enjoy your priorities dance along the stage. They are within reach as you have front row seats. They are physical needs that you need to pay attention to and allow to become more important than a virtual form of bliss and decision makers.

Don’t let life pass you by as you mechanically go through the day-to-day humdrum; same thing every day. New fun, new pages, new friends and new power. Find the power within you to embrace reality, prioritize the real world, make a new beginning of each day and maybe just maybe, Spring, will ask YOU to dance!

Windy Woes...

Psalm 31:7
I will be glad and rejoice in thy mercy: for thou hast considered my trouble; thou hast known my soul in adversities;
***

Ugh... here we are with another Tuesday upon us. A Tuesday where it is supposed to be Spring and it feels like winter! Yesterdays thirty-four degrees upon wake up with a 21 windchill is not my picture of spring in any sense of the word.

Had someone told me Nebraska was a wind tunnel, I think I would’ve ran the other way, found a new direction. As it is, I’m feeling like a part of a vacuuming system. The relentless, gusting, gnawing, bone-chilling vibrations of the winds really can throw off someone who just wants to play in the garden and enjoy spring.

I love Nebraska and all that the beauty it offers to ones soul, but come on, does it really need to be this windy? I lived in Baltimore for most of my life, we had a few windy days, then I lived in Texas for six years, again a few windy days, but here in the wide open plains of Nebraska, I would say that out of the two years that I’ve lived here, more than 50% of those days were spent in wind!

I can bear the back-biting, spine-tingling cold, I can deal with sun scorching heat dripping humidity, but wind? I can not take much more of this. It literally blows my mind!

Today began yet another f2k session, and as I usually post about it before it comes upon us, I didn’t this time because I’m not mentoring this session and possibly the session after that. The wind kind of has me in a state of upheaval, the season (Easter) kind of has me in a state of yearly reflection, the roller coaster weather has me in a state of perplexity, wondering is this spring, or is this winter.

As I coast through my days realizing there comes a time in ones life where we must prioritize and focus on things that really matter, I’ve decided to focus on me. Selfish of me isn’t it? Not at all, I’ve always taken care of everyone else, helped new writers come into the fold of the writing world, basically held out my hand to whomever was/is in need and sometimes I get lost on the path that I was walking down.

So as I focus on things that matter, some things have to blow in the wind, pun intended. I’m going to focus on writing, writing and more writing. And taking care of my family, so they know that THEY are the most important things in my life. My garden will be planted soon, I just know it. I’ll till and plant and watch spring come to life before my eyes. The school year will come to an end and I’ll spend my days out in the yard with my son, going to the doctors with my beau, and just enjoy all that God has put in my life for me to take care of.

The wind will subside eventually, and when it does...I’m going to relish every ounce of rain and sun that we get and allow it to not only drizzle my skin but penetrate my soul until the really important things in life are front and center for me.