Peace Be With You

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Isa. 26:3 KJV “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”

Peace Be With You

When I listen to Josh Groban sing, Oh Holy Night, tears puddle my eyes and begin the descent down my cheek. This is what happens when I hear songs of Christmas like Oh Holy Night, Silent Night, or Mary did you know. I’m not the jingle bells kinda gal when it comes to Christmas music. I want something that touches my soul from a voice and words who understand the meaning of what a holy night is.

Here lately it doesn’t take much for my eyes to water but it does take a lot for me to cry. Pain usually does that but during this season, some songs touch me so deeply I cry like a baby waiting the day I meet the Lord in His home, instead of the other way around.

This season calls out to me to share peace and love. While I can visually see the negative taking place in the world I’m like a horse with blinders on for this month and not seeing the darkness that will eventually smother the country. For this short time, I’m spreading peace and love to people so they understand the Glory of God in times of turmoil.

How can a person who’s been diagnosed with cancer find peace on any given day? I was telling my husband just the other day that people take life too seriously. I realized when I uttered those words that that is what makes me different. I don’t take life too seriously if I take it any way it would be in peace. The diagnosis may have come out of left field and I could’ve taken it so seriously I succumbed to the illness but in my eyes, I see it as just another hurdle and another day to share my Lord with my readers.

I know I said I won’t use the word for this disease, but sometimes I need to brush my face with a bit of reality, it really keeps me grounded and helps me to visually see the strength I carry with me every day. Some days I don’t feel like a strong person, I cry, I hurt, so I review my year and realize golly doggone it, I AM strong. It then fills me with the resources and confidence I need to move forward and to share my gracious words of truth with you.

When I speak to my mother she always asks what I’m doing or what I did on this or that day and I’m always telling her I’m writing. I told her I had a blog and I share my life story on a daily basis. I’ve told her this numerous times before but nothing sinks in unless it is negative then she holds onto it for years upon years. She said to me, “Well, you don’t share the bad stuff in your life do you?” I let her know quite bluntly (again) the same thing I bluntly tell my readers. “I am an open book! Good and bad, I hide nothing.”

I think she was shocked because after a few more words she said she was getting nervous and her voice was obviously agitated. I have told her numerous times that I'm a writer over the years but this time it sunk in for a brief second. This is the very reason she has no idea about my illness, she cannot handle the truth in any way shape or form and everything becomes negative. I sometimes wonder how I ever turned out. I know I shouldn’t badger my family and I don’t specifically pinpoint one person as the culprit of all the bad that took place in my life, I tell MY story.

Let me ask you this if you read my blog and day after day I told you how great and perfect my life is or my upbringing was, would my blog be worth reading? Honestly, don’t you like to read about someone who is just like you a sinner, having hard days, surviving a hard life against all odds just like everyone else on the planet? 

I’ve never been one to pretend or hide the truth of how I got to where I am today. I lay it out like an indoor/outdoor carpet and let everyone walk over the words and take them for what they need. I am who I am today not because of my mother and father, not because religion shaped me but because I found my God to be more trustworthy than any man walking the face of the earth.  I NEED to let you all know what He has done for me. The pits were pretty dreary and difficult but yes, we can all be pulled from the depths of hell and be carried into the Light.

I find a peace wash over me this holiday season knowing I am honest, loving, and caring. The stress that sometimes accompanies the holidays has not bitten me in the rear. I’m not even dreading the family dinner come Christmas day because my plan is to take for myself a mega salad that I’ll enjoy immensely. I may even eat a piece of ham and have a bun. They need to see God shining from me too as much as my readers need to see it. If you walk away with anything from my blog, walk away with seeing and knowing that God is ever present in this world, in me and through me, let the Light shine through.

All praise and Glory to God! 

They'll Never Know

Gen. 18:21 “I will go down now, and see whether they have done altogether according to the cry of it, which is come unto me; and if not, I will know.”

They’ll Never Know

They’ll never know the loneliness I felt, the emptiness that resided in me. They did nothing and could have done everything. They left me, isolated and alone, out in the pastures of life.

They’ll never know the hours I spent staring out the window, chasing birds with my mind wanting to fly away from the very sedentary life I live. I wanted to live but no one, nothing gave me options, they left me alone.

I am the plague that they fear catching. The disease that they’d rather keep away from their life; the very fear that festers inside of them that they’ll one day have to face alone. It’s no fun this solitude that haunts my mind. It saddens me to think I will die and they’ll never know of my life, my real life.

They’ll see the pictures I painted for them, the fragments as breadcrumbs dropped on the ground for them to follow. They’ll never find the real source of my pain because it is dwelling in them, they’ll never know. They’ll never know that the picture is false; the painter is never the painting it is just an expression of what they see. I am the artist creating an illusion of a world you’ll believe. I am the game endlessly played never to be won. I am your addiction, the one thing you need to be real.

Deep down I am the smear, the painting went wrong, the mistakes you’ll never see. I am the routine never to be broken. I am the vase sitting on the shelf with no flowers. I am the desert, dry and never to be rained upon. The hour never to be changed, the life day in and day out staring into a windowed world sharing a love for people I’ll never meet, a spiritual family that deeply cared from afar.

They’ll never know the turmoil I faced. They’ll think I was strong because I never allowed the shards of glass to cut them open. I only allowed the brokenness to shut me down to leave me vulnerable to what it is that surrounds me in my physical world. Alone, I am alone and pained by my surroundings. 

They’ll live thinking they did everything and knowing they did absolutely nothing. They’ll never know I was used, abused and diffused; a live wire with no connection to sustain the energy that thrives within me. I loved too hard, I shined too bright, and I was everything they were not nor ever could be.

There can be no healing as long as I’m demeaned, pushed down into the box and smothered. I spring forward like a jack-in-the-box daily with my polka-dot suit and painted smile I show everyone what they want to see. I make them smile waxing nostalgic over the times of their youth when they cranked the music and watched as the toy came bouncing into life. They never saw the real me, they’ll never know.

The blood, they claimed to love but they’ll never know that it was only I who loved and they shed me like dry skin to be swept away from the scene. I became the disease that they dreaded to see; they dared not look at. They went on in their fantasy playing charades and showing the world their imagined perfect life. They lived while I died, but they’ll never know.

To sum it all up, I was flourishing in the warmth of the sun, growing and turning towards the sunlight as the orb drifted overhead and I carried the rays like a candle into the night to show me the way. Then one day in all my splendor I was mowed over, severed and left in mere rubble, kicked about and wiped off the bottom of the shoe, I was done. To them I am nothing, to me I am all, to Him I am worthy. I am everything. In their obscured selfish bliss, they’ll never know.

Who are they? They are the ones who sat in their passive state and said they cared. They are the ones who did nothing as my body slowly withered and decayed. They are the ones who afterward wondered what they didn’t do carrying guilt like a different handbag of the week. They are the ones who went on, to live, to breathe. They know who they are but then again, they’ll never really know.

Ezek. 39:8 “Behold, it is come, and it is done, saith the Lord GOD; this is the day whereof I have spoken.”

Joni, The Rocky Champ

James 5:16 KJV “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

Joni, The Rocky Champ!

I must admit, I feel a little guilty feeling so good. I saw my sister-in-law, yesterday on the 6th at my niece’s graduation and she said after looking me over with a broad smile on her face, “You look great!”

I responded with, “I feel great! You wouldn’t know I have this dreaded disease would you?” 

The place we were at was a pretty big place with thousands of stadium style seating. It had an elevator to accommodate people or an open-aired staircase which allowed people to ascend via the stairs. 

Fear gripped me when I saw all of those steps, but seeing the family and their faces, telling me they’ve been praying for me made me feel ‘flighty’. I felt as if I could accomplish anything. So when my husband asked if I wanted to take the elevator, I boldly stated, “NO, I’ll take the stairs.” 

My other niece, daughter of my s-i-l, my mother in law, an uncle and I and hubby all began the ascent. Step, step, step, step I went, keeping pace with the floods of people in front and behind me as well as my niece and s-i-l. My sister in law gazed over at me at me keeping up with her and said, “Go Joni!” A platform then twenty more steps I went! I heard my husband behind me saying, “Show off.” Jokingly of course because all were quite amazed that this little woman who used to walk every step on a flat surface in pain, cringed with every hug because of my back pain, dreaded going to the store because of my pain, was now the Rocky Balboa of Nebraska ascending the stairs like a champ! 

Yes, I did a little fist raise at the top of the stairs, through panting breath I exclaimed, “I DID IT!!!” I was more raising my hands thanking the Lord for the strength than I was thinking of Rocky. But yes forty-some stairs and I made it. (Keep in mind the steps it took to get through the parking lot, to the front door, to see the stairs.)

While I felt I had the strength of a thousand men behind me, I looked at the stadium style seating with exasperation and fumed, I cannot go DOWN all those steps. Uncle said, “Why because you just made it up all of those steps?” A little out of breath I stated, “That, and my fear of heights!” After a little chuckle we found seating at the top and found they were pretty comfortable heavily plastic seats, not the bleacher style seats that we faced at a previous graduation two years ago, where I had been in so much pain, I had to leave the event and wait in the car.

Not this time, this time I was a champ! And to think I was hesitant in even wanting to attend the event. But my niece was graduating. This little lady has spent eight years trying to get this diploma to be a nurse. The course was full if I remember correctly when she first signed up and she was put on a waiting list where she tried to wait patiently. In the meantime she took on three jobs to fund her schooling, working at nursing homes and other duties of the field to prepare her for this day. She found the most money-making job in delivering pizza’s believe it or not.

I was hesitant in attending mostly because I would have to face many family members that I haven’t seen since my diagnosis. I prayed of course for guidance and God always tells me, “We got this!” So again, I took His word and barreled on. I didn’t attend the after party where too much food would be that I couldn’t eat. But we came, I conquered, and I felt GREAT! I made sure each and every one of them knew it too!

The other reason I was hesitant was my bladder. A forty-five-minute drive? Could I make it after having two cups of coffee and some water? Guess what people, I made it!!! We sat through an hour of the diplomas being handed out before I made my way to the restroom to relieve my bladder before venturing on another forty-minute drive home!

I’ll have to admit, I’m pretty amazed myself! When God said He was healing all of me, He meant it! He’s not laying down on the job expecting me to do all of the work, nope we’re a team! I’ll climb those stairs as long as He fills me with strength! I’ll bask in the sun as long as my friends and family are behind me cheering me on, I’ll continue on this promising road as long as God allows His Light to shine through me! Yesterday I was living proof for all of those who needed to see, SEE!

All Glory and Praise to Him on High!

Praise be to God!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 KJV “Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

AMEN!

A Little Scare

Luke 12:2-3 “For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known. Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops.”

I Had a Little Scare

I’m baaaaack! Did ya miss me? <3 b="" nbsp="">

Last week my hubby came down with a cold, just as Holy Week was beginning. On the eighth, he had to come home early from work because his head was more congested than a California highway during rush hour. He really gets bad this time of year with allergies and his asthma. I kicked into high gear and made him a small pot of chicken noodle soup, all for himself. 

By nighttime, his head was more clogged than the New York City streets on New Year's Eve and the box of Kleenex had dwindled. I asked him if he’d be willing to take a dose of vitamin C for me and he felt so bad, he complied. He had been talking earlier about going to the doctor on Monday so here he was, desperate (as all men become when sick) seeking the vitamin I offered. It’s a 5,000 mg powdered version that I take for my illness, and he drank it reluctantly but got it down like a good boy. 

When he rose from bed Sunday morning, his congestion had subsided and it was minimal. By Monday, he felt fine enough not to call the doctor and even did little things around the house. This is where my little scare came into the picture. 

While I was feeling fine, my throat was a little sore and I thought of the TTAC series that I had watched. What came to mind was a doctor saying, “It’s not cancer that will kill the person [fighting the illness] it’s the common cold. It’s pneumonia.” Patients fighting this illness are already immune-deficient and a cold could be detrimental. 

So, knowing the possible cold germs were invading my home, I had to be careful. Have I been taking supplements long enough for them to boost my immune system enough for me to evade this common cold bombarding my house? I’d have to wait and see. My diffuser was turned on and the air was being cleansed as I wrote. 

I rose Tuesday feeling somewhat fine but by midday, my congestion won out, I was on the sofa, head in hands saying, “what now Lord?” That’s when a little scare crept in. I’ve been doing so good in my healing, would the Lord allow this little invader to take me out? I know He wouldn’t but I also know what would! The place of fear and doubt and whoever is placing THOSE thoughts would take me out!

I turned to prayer and worship! I went on facebook and asked all of my spiritual friends to lift me in prayer as I fight this enemy, right now in the form of a common cold. I prayed and prayed along with meditation and some great worship music to soothe my soul, please be allergies! By nightfall, I was well ready for bed and looked forward to sleeping for eight hours. 

I woke to a sore throat. It felt as if I had swallowed razor blades. I needed something hot on my throat. I allow myself two cups of coffee and it was a sweet reward after a good eight hours rest. Then the sneezing began coupled with blowing my nose, numerous times. Here’s hoping it's just allergies from the seasonal blooming trees. The more the wind howled, the more I sneezed.

I could tell a force of nature, possibly a dark force, was driving this fear of a cold. I opened my email to see some spammer had tried commenting on my blog. This is the reason I have to verify comments but I haven’t seen a spammer in a couple of years since ‘modifying’ comments.

On an older, My Spiritual Friends post this woman was offering me a voodoo doctor. Seriously? A voodoo doctor? I’m obviously a spirit filled person for GOD why would someone think I’d be interested in voodoo? Then my husband on his YouTube channel posted opening and closing credits of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, yeah, don’t ask. I was being hit all around by the dark side, literally. I just added extra garlic to my morning breakfast. Hahahaha, that’s a joke!

I don’t fear the dark side attacking me instead, I prepare and fight back. Monday night my movie pick was God’s Not Dead! Ha, take that. Along with my bible reading and praise and worship the dark was sitting a mile up the road in way of darkened skies and cold temps. Monday, April 10th our high was 43 degrees with a windchill of 30! That’s spring for ya. 

Although the clouds, high winds and cold have kept me from my daily walk, I’m okay with it because I see it as God telling me I need a rest. For every negative, I see a positive! With this cold, I see it as seasonal allergies. With the cold weather, I see it’s time to do some inside cleaning of the house. As dark tries to creep in, I shine my Light so it has no place to dwell!

Wednesday night my movie pick was God’s Not Dead 2, Thursday Prince of Egypt, Friday’s pick Exodus, Saturday a documentary on Christ. My Holy Week had me drowning in the Holy and loving every second of it. No writing on my blog to bog my friends down with Joni’s woes, nope, I shared my heartwarming poetry for the entire week! This week I’ll be back writing, letting you all know how I know what I’m doing is working, maybe share some recipes of my new boring forced diet, and possibly share the dozens of supplements I’m taking. 

*By Saturday the 15th, whatever it was that had gotten to me, a cold, allergies whatever, it was gone and I was feeling almost back to normal. Not 100% but well enough to do some work around the house. 

I wrote this post during Holy Week because well, you just can’t keep a good writer down! I’ll update* this if need be but I hope you all had a most blessed Resurrection Sunday! 

Rom 5:1-5  “Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: [5] And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.”

Light In The Dark

Outside my back door!

Pss. 1:1-2  "Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.

Light in the Dark

Well, I’m taking a much needed break from the internet activities that had absorbed my world. Hey, I’ve even gotten some cleaning done in the process. It’s pretty amazing what happens when you prioritize your time and eliminate the Black Hole of negativity that tries to consume you on every click. 

I’m still here writing! There is no Black Hole that can take that away from me because basically, it is my medicine to get all the dark out and let the light into my world. I’m trying to be a light in the dark and while some might see me as a self-righteous snob others see me as the inspirational message that they might need to hear on any given day. 

I need to say this in my own defense of my recent ramblings. If there is a person out there reading my words and thinks I’m speaking about them directly and their lives then you need to do a deep soul searching to find the reason you feel that I’m speaking about you in particular.

When there are hundreds or thousands, possibly millions of people on the same conscious stream, meaning everyone thinking alike, you are bound to think I am targeting you in general. That’s what a writer does without pinpointing one person.  We write about the collective whole and finding the vein that pulsates from your weakness. And technically, that is what it is, a weakness you have embraced and not healed from within yourself. 

We all hold a light force deep within us but many allow the black hole of a negative society to own them. The light cannot and will not shine no matter how much you fake the you that you display to the world. There is a healing place and the only one that I’ve found for myself is not from friends or family, because sometimes they are transmitters of negativity and if anyone knows my family, you would say, run for your life child. 

No, my healing place is meditation on the Word. I find positive energy in the Light and love of the Psalms and Proverbs. Yes the entire bible is to be read (Old and New Testament) but to actually find the light force, you need to meditate on the positive elements, not the chronological aspects that might leave you with questions, bewilderment, a need for proof and more answers. 

There’s a healing place that is not meant to be hidden in the bible, but so many get lost with the metaphors or timeline of events and the shroud of darkness that is in the Bible; elements of incest, rape, and murder. They get lost trying to figure it all out when the Bible was meant to be a tool for you to build or rebuild the life you have before you.

Do you think it was coincidence that the chosen ones were sinners among men? Do you think that Joseph, the carpenter, wasn’t some form of symbolism of the life we are to build in Christ? The bible is heavy laden with metaphors and symbolism and God asks us not to get tied up with dissecting them but to hear the word, live the word and build your life around the word. Then and only then will you emit a Light that no dark hole can ever swallow and penetrate. 

As I watch a dark hole swallow up the people in society, I want to reach right in and grab them before they get pulled so far into the hole that they can never get out. You can and WILL lose the battle because the oxygen sustaining life will be sucked right out of you and there is no turning back.

I apologize to anyone whom my words hurt, if any. I write to make you (people in general) aware of the fine line between right and wrong. Yes, I’m a sinner and get tugged on more occasions than I care to mention but I fight, fists first to win a battle of good and evil, for me, good always wins! It’s the optimist in me. I will always see the Light in the dark and BE the light in the dark times. 

Praise be to God!

Joel 1: 15-20 “Alas for the day! for the day of the LORD is at hand, and as a destruction from the Almighty shall it come. 

Is not the meat cut off before our eyes, yea, joy and gladness from the house of our God? The seed is rotten under their clods, the garners are laid desolate, the barns are broken down; for the corn is withered. How do the beasts groan! the herds of cattle are perplexed, because they have no pasture; yea, the flocks of sheep are made desolate.

O LORD, to thee will I cry: for the fire hath devoured the pastures of the wilderness, and the flame hath burned all the trees of the field.

The beasts of the field cry also unto thee: for the rivers of waters are dried up, and the fire hath devoured the pastures of the wilderness.

Authentic

Pss. 50:15 “And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.”

Do you know what it means to be authentic in your faith?

If we live in Christ, if we live our true identity our community, our world will never be the same. That is the message Jesus gave to Paul and Paul delivered to Ephesus. He wanted us to be authentic in what we show the world. If we are authentic then the world sees our unified Light. The more light that shines, the more illuminated the world will be during the dark times.

I often hear, “I can’t believe you wrote that, that you just put all of you out there.”

My response is, “It’s my truth.” That my friends is my authenticity. I am who I am and I don’t hide behind false bravado. If Jesus himself came knocking on my door, would someone else answer? He would see through me, He sees through everybody’s mask.  Would I put on a mask and pretend to be someone I’m not? Would I hide all the dirty dishes? No, because there are none. What He would see is the real me, just as He sees me every day. Not that He cares if you have dirty dishes, he would see you trying to hide them and your feelings of embarrassment and being caught unaware that He was coming.

Can everyone say that they were prepared for His visit? No? You attend church on Sunday, then come home, kick off your shoes and pop open a bottle or can of some booze and then go to the web and just accidentally fall upon the pornography or undesirable sites? You feed yourself junk and that includes the hate and disgust of the world until the next Sunday comes around when you put on that ‘Sunday face’ again? You then repeat the same thing over and over until each Sunday comes around? That is not being authentic.

Let me tell you another thing about me I’ll just toss out there; life’s tough. There is no easy road to being a person who is authentic in nature, God loving. That road is full of debris that hinders the path so going along smoothly becomes a rocky road and I don’t mean cheesy peasy ice cream easy, either. You might say, “What? Are you telling me you’re Miss Perfect?” And I’ll tell you right up front, in no uncertain terms, I AM NOT perfect, I am authentic! I wait for His coming and I prepare myself daily for His arrival.

Let’s say for example if you bumped into someone from Church in the grocery store, would you be the same person they see on Sunday? Suppose you have booze in your cart, would you feel uneasy, ashamed, proud, what? Let’s say a person from Church stopped by your house on a Wednesday unannounced, would you scurry to hide your mess? Would you pretend you’re not home because your place isn’t ‘acceptable’ to look at? 

Think about that seriously. Are you the same person sitting in church on Sunday as the person sitting at home the rest of the week? Yes I stumble, I fall, I skin my knees but sin is not something I commit willingly and usually I’m right up front about my sin; for some reason, hiding doesn’t seem to work. God sees all, so why hide behind a mask? If the truth is out there then it becomes easier to heal, easier to walk the path of authenticity because you’re exposed.

Nobody (except a doctor) likes to see an open wound. No one likes to share the open wound because it feels like you’re seeking self-pity. I like to put my open wounds out there to find healing. “See this scar? That was a wound that’s healed!” 

There are so many non-authentic people in the world the darkness is overloading the system. It’s like a bad virus that has corrupted the files. We want to choose a good cleaner for our system, we want the best anti-virus protecting us but our bad choices often lead us to damage the entire system. 

The authentic Christian chooses Christ to be his/her healer cleanser on a daily basis, not just a Sunday visit. It doesn’t work that way. Can you imagine turning off your firewall, your anti-virus protection on the computer every day of the week except Sunday? The vile, decrepit, sinister beast that will eventually expose your true nature will attack you. You have to have true authentic protection on a daily basis for the armor to hold up in your weaker moments.

This is MY story. This is MY authenticity shining through. Every person is different and has a different level of security set up. My choice is Christ. Has it stopped me from being attacked? Has God blanketed me from all pain? Nope, He sure hasn’t but He HAS been the one who's healed me. The only one who was there with a Kleenex to dry my tears. The only one who dove into my system to take away the crud; charges me up and emits a light that everyone sees. THAT is my authenticity in Christ shining through. 

May the lit umbrella of the Lord become your authentic nature and shine through you all! 

God bless

Eph. 6: 5-6 “Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ;

Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart;”

The Cave Dweller No More

Luke 12:27 “Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.”

It seems like the last year I’ve been living in a cave. The world is going on around me and many things have gone on in this world that I care not to discuss because I can discuss them quietly at home and in the depths of my mind, I don’t need all of my thoughts out there for the world to see.

I stop by facebook once a day to see what people are sharing and well, it’s the same ol’ same ol’ basket full of deceit, cunning opinionated news (usually lies), abused animals, lost children and prayer. My page is full of prayer request and that is just how I like to start my day by being in prayer for those in need. 

I’ve changed my facebook page so much I no longer get the negative feed that was turning my stomach early last year. With every visit my heart hurt, my mind ached and I was left puzzled by some of the things people felt the need to share, so I climbed into the cave crowded by grief and didn’t ever want to come out and view the social world again.

Something happened along the way. God spoke to me and asked me what I was doing sulking in the cold darkened damp cave. Never one to shy away from God, I told Him the truth about what was bothering me. He set me on a straight and narrow path and I came out the other end of the cave dragged there by the light that was pulling on my shirt.

After God showed me what was wrong, I took action to change. Then the New Year erupted and I made a commitment to be more focused on my writing craft. I don’t need a best selling novel, I need to WRITE! If I write one word that changes the way people see the world, one word that speaks volumes to them, one word to encourage them, then my writing is not in vain, my gift is being used the way God intended and the positive energy that comes from my writing will light me up and allow me to SHINE!

Since I don’t believe in coincidence, what do you make from this meme that came across my feed? 

“God wants to bring you out of your cave, out of that place in your mind where you have been lost.”

Now some will say, it’s just a meme. Well, since I believe God works in mysterious ways, more ways than the human mind can comprehend, I believe I was in the right place at the right time. Has that ever happened to you? Well it clarified what was truly on my mind and that is that God doesn’t want me languishing in the cave. He wants me out here in the spinning world sharing my words that are ‘on my mind’ and words that might reverberate in other minds also. 

Also, this lovely sentiment came across my screen:

Believe it... in your mind. 

Receive it... in your heart. 

Achieve it... in your life.

I sat up, took notice and got busy working on the plan God has set before me to change the darkness into light, to take a breath, inhale and exhale the positive flow that needs release to this world of negativity. 

I know it’s a stretch but if others see me actively taking a stance to change, maybe they too will follow suit and by years end I will have changed some small portion of the world. Remember this, social media is not just a place to share pictures, memes, and what the news media wants you to believe, it is also an avenue to share the true inner you that the world has come to know and love. 

Continuing down the same path as last year, you are consciously blocking the pathway to change. The choice is up to you my friends. Live, grow and change! It is after all a New Year.

God Bless each and every one of you!

2 Thes 1:3 “We are bound to thank God always for you, brethren, as it is meet, because that your faith groweth exceedingly, and the charity of every one of you all toward each other aboundeth;”

The Year Ends...A New One Begins

Jeremiah 29:11-13 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. 

The Year Ends… A New One Begins

Now that I have my shine back, I’m going to attack 2016 with a vengeance. I’m not one to make New Year’s resolutions because to me tomorrow is just the day we hang a new calendar. But I digress; it is a new year with a new number! 

The year that just passed was an odd number, an intermingled bad year with a good year. My marriage took place so I thought for sure the rest of the year was going to be a good one full of blessings galore. I see every day as a blessing no matter how down I am, so yeah, I had 365 days of blessings! I survived, what a blessing!

While in previous years I’ve always celebrated the New Year on Easter Sunday, this year is going to be a little different since I’m going to tackle the New Year on January 1st! Not only am I going to flip the calendar I’m going to flip my energy to a positive growth spurt this year and what better day than on the first of the year.

While I’ll still celebrate my spiritual New Year on Easter, the physical New Year will begin on the first of January leading into the new digits 2016. It is going to be a year of promise, hope, sincerity and truth. Even if death encircles me I will tackle the gloom like a linebacker with every ounce of force within my body.

I’m definitely going to make a comeback with my writing even if I have nothing to say but God Bless you, my challenge to myself is to awake every day with hope in my heart and words on my fingertips! Yeah, that’s a challenge seeing last year I barely wrote. Even if no one reads me, I’ll write to insure my sanity, as without writing I might as well be comatose.

This looks to be an exciting year with the aspect of a new president. I get to watch all my friends fall all over themselves as if stone cold drunk in the political postings of the day. I’ll watch as their year is consumed with hate of this, that and the other thing, all the while posting scripture to defend their stance. 

Facebook may have to become obsolete in the coming year as my fellow Americans make fools of themselves and not even being aware of what asinine behavior they are adhering to in the name of egotistical rights. Yes, we have Freedom of Speech, I just wish everyone could take a look at the dignity mirror and see if hate-filled spew is going to be a part of their year and whom they appear to be mirroring in the mess we call politicizing.

People assume I turn a blind eye to the happenings in the world but little do they know I CHOOSE not to consume my inner strength with false cares of the world. I choose to see the end product because let me tell you, we are all going to die and if your world is so consumed with the here and now, what is your eternity going to look like? 

Again, my new year will not be absorbed by the here and now, it is going to be focused on the end of me and what will become of my spirit in the hereafter.

When I go to bed at night I want to know that I feel good about myself inside and out. After spewing hate, do you feel good? That is temporal and will not carry you through eternity. Sure being consumed with the worldly might get you through the day and maybe that is who you are and you like who you are.

Does God participate in you trying to guilt people into a repost? 
Romans 12: 2 says:  “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” Does God participate in your life at all? 

2016 will be a new year and a new life for me and my participation in God himself will be the driving force behind an extremely good year because I WILL NOT be conformed to this sad world. 

My prayer journey will continue as in years past for change in the human psyche so that humans might be in touch with their spirituality so that they can release the negativity in the privacy of their own minds, not out in the open for the world to see. Because if WE see your evident hate, I wonder what God sees in you?

As you celebrate the ending of the old year and the New Year begins… celebrate life and the spiritual journey. Make a change that you can actually FEEL!

Be blessed in all you do! 

Godspeed! 

Shine

Job 3:4 “Let that day be darkness; let not God regard it from above, neither let the light shine upon it.”

Shine

This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine!

This is my decision as I head into a new year; I’m going to shine! The light in me shined a little in 2015 but I could feel it being dimmed. Saturated by circumstances my light was fading as the year was closing. I could feel the tug of war going on inside my soul and as I grabbed tightly to the light within my spirit, I felt it had diminished from a thick rope of strength to a small thread of nary any hope hanging out there in the darkness that I had a hard time holding onto.

The year began with a death (1-25), then yet another death (10-29) and is now being led out in chains with a death (12-14). Not a great year by any means. My candle had burned out, no more wax and no more wick to keep it going and I fizzled. It was as if someone came with wet fingertips and just doused the light that was left in me shining. By years end, I could shine no more. I felt like a deflated water balloon left over by kids of summer just lying in the grass. 

My Christmas day was spent with family and it was really the first time I had spoken about the tragedies of the year with someone other than my mother and my husband. I kind of felt good not just writing about it but also vocalizing about my dad, my aunt, and my uncle. When I woke up on the 26th of December I felt a small burning inside of me, a sensation of a new torch being lit by the match within.

I sat and wrote and by Monday the 28th my candle was fully lit, the flame burning high and a new sense of peace washing over me as if I had been reborn and given a second chance on life. The year of gloom that had hung over my head like a wet napkin was slowly falling apart and diminishing into nothing. I realized I had a light that NEEDED to shine, just a few more days.

Writing took a backseat as I wallowed in self-pity. Not that I had writers block or anything, I just didn’t feel like writing and when I did, none of it made much sense. This year I have had the least amount of posts in my blogging history! Well, no wonder my light was dim! Me without writing is like a baby without their security blanket. It left me feeling all whiney inside (sometimes outside)! 

Well let me tell you, my mother sent me one of the warmest blankets I’ve had in years. A security replacement? A warmth more penetrating than a roaring fire! Whatever it is, I feel like I’m coming back from a year long holiday, one that I didn’t take by choice, it was one that life threw at me, forced me into and asked me to just deal!

As the worst year of my life wraps up, I’m looking ahead and seeing a light shining in the not too far off distance, it’s quite close and appetizing to say the least. This little light of mine? I’m gonna let it shine! Let it shine! Let it SHINE! LET IT SHINE!

Godspeed my friends!

Prov. 4:18 “But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day.”

Sometimes...

"Just because a person ‘looks’ fine on the outside, doesn’t mean they aren’t suffering with debilitating pain on the inside. Just as you wouldn’t judge a book by its cover, don’t judge a person because they ‘look’ fine." ~ Joni

Sometimes…

Sometimes… my tears fall down like rain

Sometimes… I smile through all the pain

Sometimes… I’m judged by what you see

Sometimes… there's no fun in being me.

Sometimes… the clouds wash o’er my soul

Sometimes… I’m left not feeling whole

Sometimes… someone should take my hand

Sometimes… I need you to understand.

Sometimes… the sun don’t ever shine

Sometimes… I’m not doing ‘fine’

Sometimes… the tears won’t ever fall

Sometimes… I hide behind it all.

Sometimes… I hear the Lord demand

Sometimes… He says child take my hand

Sometimes… when tears fall down like rain

Those times… He carries all my pain.

Job 33:19 He is chastened also with pain upon his bed, and the multitude of his bones with strong pain:

 

 

Poetry Sunday ~ O Soul of Mine

Isa. 42:25 Therefore he hath poured upon him the fury of his anger, and the strength of battle: and it hath set him on fire round about, yet he knew not; and it burned him, yet he laid it not to heart.

O Soul of Mine

O fretful soul of mine that grieves
Is it thou that freely leaves?
Lost amid the fruitful wine
Fleshing over such fragrant vine.

Will thou remain a mystery;
True divine I never see?
Or wilt thou rain on me with blessing,
Teach me yet another lesson?

Scouring through the murky mire,
Passion snared for earthly desire.
A valiant cross that I must bear.
My heart entwines in thy snare.

O earthly soul for all I gave,
Dwells within a darkened cave.
Allow thy shield of purity,
Seep in through my elegy.

Allow thy light to shine on me,
O soul of mine I thrive on thee.
Bequeath me in thy blazon glory;
Release from me this inner fury.

Pss. 11:1 In the LORD put I my trust: How say ye to my soul, Flee as a bird to your mountain?