Light In The Dark

Outside my back door!

Pss. 1:1-2  "Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.

Light in the Dark

Well, I’m taking a much needed break from the internet activities that had absorbed my world. Hey, I’ve even gotten some cleaning done in the process. It’s pretty amazing what happens when you prioritize your time and eliminate the Black Hole of negativity that tries to consume you on every click. 

I’m still here writing! There is no Black Hole that can take that away from me because basically, it is my medicine to get all the dark out and let the light into my world. I’m trying to be a light in the dark and while some might see me as a self-righteous snob others see me as the inspirational message that they might need to hear on any given day. 

I need to say this in my own defense of my recent ramblings. If there is a person out there reading my words and thinks I’m speaking about them directly and their lives then you need to do a deep soul searching to find the reason you feel that I’m speaking about you in particular.

When there are hundreds or thousands, possibly millions of people on the same conscious stream, meaning everyone thinking alike, you are bound to think I am targeting you in general. That’s what a writer does without pinpointing one person.  We write about the collective whole and finding the vein that pulsates from your weakness. And technically, that is what it is, a weakness you have embraced and not healed from within yourself. 

We all hold a light force deep within us but many allow the black hole of a negative society to own them. The light cannot and will not shine no matter how much you fake the you that you display to the world. There is a healing place and the only one that I’ve found for myself is not from friends or family, because sometimes they are transmitters of negativity and if anyone knows my family, you would say, run for your life child. 

No, my healing place is meditation on the Word. I find positive energy in the Light and love of the Psalms and Proverbs. Yes the entire bible is to be read (Old and New Testament) but to actually find the light force, you need to meditate on the positive elements, not the chronological aspects that might leave you with questions, bewilderment, a need for proof and more answers. 

There’s a healing place that is not meant to be hidden in the bible, but so many get lost with the metaphors or timeline of events and the shroud of darkness that is in the Bible; elements of incest, rape, and murder. They get lost trying to figure it all out when the Bible was meant to be a tool for you to build or rebuild the life you have before you.

Do you think it was coincidence that the chosen ones were sinners among men? Do you think that Joseph, the carpenter, wasn’t some form of symbolism of the life we are to build in Christ? The bible is heavy laden with metaphors and symbolism and God asks us not to get tied up with dissecting them but to hear the word, live the word and build your life around the word. Then and only then will you emit a Light that no dark hole can ever swallow and penetrate. 

As I watch a dark hole swallow up the people in society, I want to reach right in and grab them before they get pulled so far into the hole that they can never get out. You can and WILL lose the battle because the oxygen sustaining life will be sucked right out of you and there is no turning back.

I apologize to anyone whom my words hurt, if any. I write to make you (people in general) aware of the fine line between right and wrong. Yes, I’m a sinner and get tugged on more occasions than I care to mention but I fight, fists first to win a battle of good and evil, for me, good always wins! It’s the optimist in me. I will always see the Light in the dark and BE the light in the dark times. 

Praise be to God!

Joel 1: 15-20 “Alas for the day! for the day of the LORD is at hand, and as a destruction from the Almighty shall it come. 

Is not the meat cut off before our eyes, yea, joy and gladness from the house of our God? The seed is rotten under their clods, the garners are laid desolate, the barns are broken down; for the corn is withered. How do the beasts groan! the herds of cattle are perplexed, because they have no pasture; yea, the flocks of sheep are made desolate.

O LORD, to thee will I cry: for the fire hath devoured the pastures of the wilderness, and the flame hath burned all the trees of the field.

The beasts of the field cry also unto thee: for the rivers of waters are dried up, and the fire hath devoured the pastures of the wilderness.

And The Beat Goes On

Rom. 7:10 “And the commandment, which was ordained to life, I found to be unto death.”

And The Beat Goes On

Every day gets a little bit easier and every moment of the day brings about memories and not tears. I’m being very strong for my mother so that she too can be strong. I think we’re feeding off one another to be the strength when we are weak.

My calls to my mother are back to once a day since my sister is there and calling her daily, as are her sons (all except one). Yesterday she told me that she inadvertently found the military discharge papers that she needed last week to have my dad buried at Crownsville Military cemetery where his brother is buried. It wasn’t meant to be at the time but she has up to two years to decide if that is where she wishes his ashes to be placed for his final resting place. Now with the Military discharge papers, she might give him his final wish.

It takes time to sort through a life and a death. While I’m here grieving in my own way, my mother is letting go of the physical remains in the form of papers, bills, meds, and a mountain of other things that need to be taken care of during this time.

The beat goes on for us kids, we’re trying to go about our normal routines but in the back of our minds, he’s still there, my dad, lingering in our thoughts. I cry a lot less and yes I know it will get better with time but this is all still so fresh to me, I’m allowed my time of grief. I imagine the holidays are the hardest part of the grief process, muddling through and putting on a brave face, answering questions and drinking in all of the love and compassion that people offer.

Tomorrow will mark three weeks since my dad passed and sure enough it has felt like the earth has stopped and I’m in a bubble waiting to breathe in the springtime air once again. No, instead I’m sitting here in the middle of autumn with Thanksgiving closing in around me waiting for Christmas to smother me with all its lights and hoopla.

Just yesterday my mother had my dads remains returned to her. Her and my sister had to go and pick up the ashes, purchase an urn and get the Death Certificates that she needs to tie up loose ends. In death, everything seems so tedious but I know… the beat goes on.

A friend’s husband has been suffering with COPD and another friend just lost her father this week. While I know that death is a part of life, it doesn’t make death any easier knowing. Death isn’t just taken lightly because you know God and are a Christian. Death isn’t something you just ‘get over’, no, death is something you live with day in and day out. It becomes the sunrise and sunset. It becomes the spring and the winter; it is perched in the ups and downs; it is fed daily by life itself.

I’m not saying death is consuming my life but the reality of it is that life is death and death is life. Now I can honestly say that if I didn’t have my faith I would never be able to endure such pain. My faith is my light, life and breath. I carry my faith around and I find strength to continue this life no matter what comes my way.

Every day gets easier, every day the breath of me gets stronger. Every day the beat goes on. La-dee-da-dee-dee, la-dee-da-dee-da

May God bless each and every one of you with the Light and love needed to get you through life… and death.

John 6:47-48 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life.

I am that bread of life.