Change taking places...

1 Sam. 21:13 And he changed his behaviour before them, and feigned himself mad in their hands, and scrabbled on the doors of the gate, and let his spittle fall down upon his beard.

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Change taking places...

Okay, I do believe I’ve bored you enough with the week of change. Thank you ever so much for tolerating my week of Compassion, and then to jump into a week of Change topics, you all are real troopers. We have to end on a high note, a positive in the world of negative.

A miracle changed and shaped my life as of October 10, 2011 when the cornea transplant took place. I liked staying in a hotel, having a continental breakfast, eternal coffee around the clock, and the lovely confusing Omaha. It started to feel like home, since we’ve been back so many times. All in all it’s been good.

For two and a half years we’ve lived here in Nebraska, about ten miles from his hometown where he grew up. He hadn’t ‘seen’ it since we came up from Texas a few years before that and I know it was killing him not being able to see his old school, and the demise of it as it got torn down, new buildings emerge and life in Little Town Nebraska taking on new shapes and memories.

His sight has returned and everyone assumes yippee 20/20, easy peasy. It has been anything but ‘easy’. It has been a challenge and breathtaking all at once. I say a challenge because we never know what to expect with each new day, and breathtaking in watching him see a snow squall for the first time in years, watching Sassy our dog recognize that, “Hey, Papa man can see again.”, and seeing him change his blogs, The Drums in the Deep and AudioBook Heaven, to a more aesthetic view, with charm oozing out all over the place. This has been an amazing, quite astonishing sight, literally.

I notice people posting pics, as if he even goes to facebook, but they post in hopes he’ll look, but he can not SEE THAT WELL YET!!! Give the man time! So much is hitting him, that it exhausts him. A day of looking out the window, seeing the sun, sky, grass, leaves can be very tiring to a man who has seen total darkness for years. It’s kind of funny watching the people react, who’ve seen him as a blind man, take in this miracle.

The people at church for instance, each week (as always but with new vigor) smile with a gracious smile, shake his hand and can not say enough about how happy they are for us. Us? Well happy for him that he can see, and me, they are happy to see my elbow free and him walking in the door all on his own and finding our regular seat. :)

His mom and sister have come out to see him, (they were great help while we went to Omaha, taking care of our beloved Sassy) and people want him to come here and there, ride here and I think they have the idea in their heads that he is one hundred percent healed,  eager for a visiting frenzy and ready go running around all over the place and drink in the beauty of all that awaits him, and return to being that old guy of his past.

I say the old guy of his past because when I met him eight, almost nine years ago, he was a completely different man. He was a man I didn’t like too much, but had fallen in love with and was determined to ‘stand by my man’ and all that entails. It means putting up with nasty habits, enduring the slimey pieces to get to the solid middle. He began the change about six years ago when we began going to church.

No, it was no miraculous event and it took its good old time, but I’m telling you now, the man before me today is not the man I met 8 years ago, he’s the inner man that I fell in love with. And with that, a miracle unfolded, and we both are here enjoying the newness of life, taking in every grain of sand; finding pleasure in the changing of a clock, the making of a bed, the vacuuming of the floor, the petting of a dog (who, by the way, doesn’t move out of his way, because he can see now!) and the loving of a snowflake.

I’m not preaching to you to change, but one day, you might wake up and say, What is wrong with my life? You’ll look in the mirror and realize, you’re what’s wrong; and your kids, your family and everyone in between sees you, and you then realize in an instant, I need to change something.

Go on, make that change. Miracles await you, too.

 
***

Pss.55: [19] God shall hear, and afflict them, even he that abideth of old. Selah. Because they have no changes, therefore they fear not God.
Prov. 24:[21] My son, fear thou the LORD and the king: and meddle not with them that are given to change:

And the Beat Goes On...

Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. ~World Health Organization, 1948

Months of Healing

I know as the tale moves forward, the beat goes on. In my head I hear the drums of the Native Americans, edging us forward to one more day of healing and we dance right along not missing a beat.

A lot of people have expressed amazement (even the doctor) at this wonder of wonders, the Blind seeing again, and how proud must that doctor feel, knowing his was the hand chosen by God to bring forth this miracle. He probably doesn’t see it that way, because he is a man of science after all, but we know, as the journey moved along, we were being led and guided by a higher power that man can not ever explain.

Now it seems everyone thinks it is 20/20 onward and upward. Well my friends, it is a little  more than blink and all is well in the household. He gained sight from the moment the bandage came off. What did he see? Blur. Point blank, blur. But he SAW a tree and cars and colors, all things he had not seen for two and a half years.

The next day it went from blur to a smudged blur, and that is why we’ve had so many trips to Omaha. But by Mondays visit, the blur is improving. The doctor has him on many eye drops and anti-infection meds, he MUST sleep with the patch on at night possibly for a few months. And he can not lift anything over five pounds! AND he can not play his saxophone for a month or two. What? No SAX??? Oh, that will surely put a damper on the Christmas party, but like I said, “You’re family will much rather come to see you SEE, than to see you PLAY!”

All of this activity has really drained the both of us. As much as you’d think he’d want to get out and go all around seeing people and just run here and there, it is all draining, not just on me, but mainly on him and all that the brain has to take in. His brain has been through a marathon of vision and sights and while he gets his rest, each day out is like a new marathon, a marathon everyone wants him to win, nobody more than himself, but still, a tiring marathon.

So, as we take our breaks, we need respect for our space. There is months of healing to take place and I imagine it’s not going to be easy around any corner we turn.  Everyone wants a small piece of him and he’s more than willing to give and share, but I do believe he likes to breathe in between. And hey...I could use a nap too. :)

Thank you for understanding.

The wings of hope carry us, soaring high above the driving winds of life. ~Ana Jacob

Poetry Sunday ~ The Wonder of it All

I believe in the sun even if it isn't shining. I believe in love even when I am alone. I believe in God even when He is silent.
~Author Unknown ~

The Wonder of it All

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To see the world with different eyes
to bare the soul of its disguise;
to open up a vein and see
a rainbow looking back at me.

The shield in place for far too long
never stealing the inner song. 

The veil it covered all the world
a ribbon of light is now unfurled.

I glance up at the open sky,
all the while I wonder why.
Why does blue look so pure
and fluffy clouds quite obscure.

It is only now that all the trees
wave to me with loosened leaves.
No longer just a crunching sound,
I can see color, coating the ground.

I glance at stars in the night
am truly blessed to have this sight.
My world was such a shaded place
until my Father showed His face.

All the wonder came back to me
as I was granted the chance to see.
A glorious season this one called Fall,
I stand amazed by the wonder of it all!

On a personal note...

If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. ~~ Ps 139:9-10 (NLT)

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Well I know you all are waiting for me to give a little update on me, on a personal note. Tell me you all look forward to it, please?

Well, here I go, dramatics and all! It was a quiet morning just like any other day, I go get myself showered and cleaned before I can get anything done for the day. I step out of the shower to hear voices, off in the distance. I always look skyward, because I think “Wow, God has gotten bold.”

I open the door and creep into the living room, to hear my beau on the phone, saying his thank you and goodbye. “Who was that?” I ask. “Eleanor, says there’s a cornea.” Mr. Smarty pants says as a matter-of -factly, as he goes to sit at the desk. A shock look washed over his face.

My eyes nearly bulged outta my head, thoughts crowded around and began spinning like a carousel on some kind of hyper drug. I felt like shaking my beau and screaming “Tell me more! Tell me more.” But instead I just said, “How do you feel about that?” With him being blind, I can read his facial expressions pretty well, and I could see that this was not the moment to get all aflutter and start babbling. He needed calm and that is what I gave him.

His face said, ‘I’m confused’ but his mouth said, “I don’t know how I feel.” Wow I can read him pretty well, eh? I was about to go dry my hair when a compulsion came over me. ‘We need prayer’. He was sending out emails to our pastors at church and his family, I was busying myself with sending out to my prayer warriors the call for prayer.

By the end of both of our tapping keys, we had reached hundreds of people all gathered to pray for us. The prayers were felt as my body tingled with delight.

Here’s the deal. She (Eleanor) called. Said they had a cornea, but it was in Colorado being tested to see if it was a good cornea. If so, surgery is on Monday. We’ll head to Omaha on Sunday, be at the hospital 5 a.m. Monday, have a follow-up visit Tuesday, and if everything looks good. We may come right home or stay and leave early Wednesday morning. Too early to tell.

But the prayers are strongly needed. Now the confusion begins, chaos ensues. Beau has been so patient throughout these two years. He’s has his bad days, as I think it is understandable if your sight is taken away and you never got a chance to see the very house that you’ve lived in for two years, or the town that you grew up in, or so many other things I can’t even begin to mention.

All I know is this, I’m driving to Omaha. Everything is already taken care of money-wise. The surgery: medicare/medicaid/Lions Club all paid for in advance!! I worry about nothing else because as the day draws near, our food, gas and lodgings will all be paid for too!

God is good...Great even! God bless you all and thank you for your continued prayer. It isn’t over by a long shot, so keep our family in your prayers. 

9:57 a.m.UPDATE NECESSARY: My friends, WE ARE GOING TO OMAHA!!!

Keep the prayers coming!!! PRAISE GOD!!!!

Doctor Conspiracy

Matt. 26:39 And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.
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I’m wondering if there is some sort of Doctor conspiracy out there in the world. Why are doctor’s so unwilling to work with other doctors?

Take for example the doctor in Omaha, who is overseeing my beau’s eye condition. Now I know there is more than one facility in the state of Nebraska, that can do an ultrasound on the eye. Let’s see, there’s an eye clinic right here in Kearney that specializes in lasik surgery, cataract surgery and cornea transplants.

We’re using the Omaha doctor because the Lion lady directed us to this facility. Knowing we live 4 hours away, why would the doctor not send us to a closer facility to say, get an ultrasound? An eight hour round trip, a ten minute visit. It makes no sense to me.

Since I’m not paying for anything and I’ve given it all up to God, I’m not worried where the funds will appear from to pay for all of this. They will come.

The butterflies arrive at knowing all that we have to endure to get from point A to point B.
It is not just beau who is involved here. Adam and I have endured the seven years of doctor visits, infections, ups and downs, first hand. Then there is his family who are all eager for him to see, and his friends who would love for him to come out and play also. But again, getting from A to B is going to take time.

Our first visit was the over view, what can be done. The second visit was to get the ultrasound to look behind the cataract to see how healthy the eye is and if surgery is at all possible, now this third visit, more tests. To see if there are any infections? I dunno, I just get, “Need more tests.”

If there is an infection, that will entail more trips until it is healed and ready for a cornea transplant. Then to be put on the donor list, and wait. Waiting is the hardest part. Then the surgery, then the after care keeping the eye, infection free. I know a dermatologist and sinus specialist will come into play real soon. Roughly, in a years time, he might see again! 

The surgery CAN NOT be done while their is an ACTIVE SINUS INFECTION. You might ask why? Because the cornea transplant is a fragile delicate tissue. A SNEEZE can damage all the work that went into transferring the cornea to the recipient. An ITCH can scratch the cornea. So all this combined HAS TO BE taken into consideration.

Idealistically, a perfect skinned man walks in with no allergies, gets the transplant and can see again. Realistically, we know, all this could be for nothing, and a rapid succession of sneezes is not a good thing with a freshly implanted cornea.

But I do carry hope! I don’t sit in doubt here, I just walk with faith that the Good Lord knows what is best for him and no one else can really say what the plan is. I haven’t doubted for a minute that there is a plan in affect and we are not able to alter the plan even with fervent prayer. When Jesus prayed for God to spare him, in the Garden of Gethsemane, God had a plan in place, and had He said “Yes, okay,” to Jesus. His blood would never have been shed for our sins.

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Matt. 36:45 Then cometh he to his disciples, and saith unto them, Sleep on now, and take your rest: behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of man is betrayed into the hands of sinners.

Good News! To see again...

Matt.19: 26 Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

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Well folks, good news came in the way of a telephone call yesterday.

As many of you know, if you’ve read my blog, that my beau is blind. We’ve been trying to get help, we’ve been praying, and maybe our prayers have finally been answered. He needs a cornea transplant and cataract surgery and we’ve found out that one eye, his right eye, has possibilities.

Our first trip to Omaha was wind swept and the long drive was tiring and back-aching. It’s a four hour trip both ways; that’s four to Omaha and four hours back home. The first trip we met with 35 mph gusting to 45mph winds which, you might think me a big sissy, but driving on a narrow two lane interstate, with wind pushing and shoving the truck to and fro, is not a fun task.

In front of me trucks were swerving left and right trying to stay in their lane, to my left cars flying by me at no less than 80 mph, and to my right, a rippled edge to keep drivers awake? Well at 80 mph hour that ripple helps you in losing control of your vehicle. On that day, I never reached 65mph. It was sixty all the way. To top it off, it was a ninety degree day and we have no A.C. in the vehicle, so it was also a dripping wet travel experience.

This trip was more pleasant. No winds, cool temps, still back aching, but a nice trip nonetheless. We were in the office maybe twenty minutes then it was back home.

The wait. We had to wait for the dr.’s office to let us know, if after looking behind the cataract via an ultra sound, if the eye was well enough to go through surgery so beau can see again.

The call. It came and she (the assistant, never a doctor) said beau needed more test but the dr. thought that the eye looked well enough back there to perform surgery. Good news!!! A resounding WOOHOO!!

Another trip. Well actually it will be many many more trips back to Omaha, but our next trip is scheduled for November 13. The doc is going to do even more tests, hopefully put him on the cornea donor’s list, probably get him to see a dermatologist and a sinus expert (preferably in Kearney) closer to home.

The wait. More waiting as we’ll have to wait for someone to die, to donate a cornea and be a perfect match. To think that God already has someone picked out to die so my beau can see again is scary. His last doctor was scrupulous in picking out a cornea and did all the aids testing, and other transferring tests that needed to be done so that the surgery was successful. He got an eighteen year old suicide victims cornea last time. It had a life expectancy of twenty years and lasted only seven in my beaus body. I pray for that boy and the family who donated his cornea. And I pray now for the next person and their family.

We wait in anticipation of seeing again. If only for a year, two years or seven, he will see once again if things go well! That is certainly GOOD NEWS to share with you all!!!