The Tunnel Season

Job 6:11 “What is my strength, that I should hope? and what is mine end, that I should prolong my life?”

The Tunnel Season

I’m calling this the tunnel season because this is the season of my life I trek through a long dark tunnel. I don’t know if any of you have ever been in an underwater tunnel that gets you from one side of the city to the other side but back home, we had TWO. The Harbor tunnel was a long stretch, dimly lit four-lane tunnel, two lanes in and two out. I remember when I was a kid my mother always dreaded driving through that tunnel as fear and claustrophobia gripped her. She would often choose the route through the congested city to get to my aunt’s house instead of putting herself through the trauma. The tunnel runs 1.45 miles under the Inner Harbor.

When I began this journey of a lifetime back in January, I thought the walk through the tunnel would be difficult but definitely doable. I’m about two or three city blocks into the tunnel and the end is not in sight yet and I’m feeling my own claustrophobia rattle my brain. I chose to walk through the tunnel and not go through the city streets to reach my destination; I chose to take the hard, isolated, lonely way.

You see, to me, the chemo slice and dice method is taking the route through the city. There are benches placed at bus stops for you to rest, there are blinking crosswalk signs to get you safely across the street, there are even garbage cans along the route for you to dump any extra baggage you might be carrying. Me, in the tunnel of solitude, I don’t have those luxuries. I have gas emissions from the cars (toxins) to inhale; I have dim lighting (people for me and against my choice); I’ve chosen to walk the walk as opposed to driving, and thus far, it feels as if I’m walking on my hands.

My life has been turned upside down and there is no dispute about it, this is the challenging route. I’m a quarter of a mile in the tunnel and it seems one of the cars broke down up ahead. It started out an empty tunnel, a car here, a car there but now as I look ahead, I see the backed up cars. This journey isn’t getting any easier or lighter to bear, no this is getting more difficult and heavier than expected. I expected ups and downs, stops and starts, but I wasn’t expecting a traffic jam where everything comes to halt and looks as if the jam is not a jam it’s a crash that emergency crew help is having trouble getting to the scene. They’re not here for me anyway.

I’ve been a little depressed lately as my three illnesses battle each other with each one individually wanting to take front and center. With my arthritis, I have a swelled typing finger and a right knee that is pained feeling what little weight I have left bearing down. My psoriasis gets inflamed with sun exposure and this other crud I’m carrying NEEDS the sun as a vitamin D natural source. Then my neck started in with its seething pain. I believe it to be from sleeping wrong but the pain won’t let up and I’m not willing to take pain medication.

Then the eclipse happened and things took a weird turn. Just weird things started happening and I want to attribute it to the eclipse but the reality is, crud happens. Besides the spectacular orbs in the sky shadowing each other, then there's the echoing posts on Facebook and the other day my trusty laptop stopped connecting to the modem. It’s been fine for eight months but suddenly just stopped working and my tech savvy man is finding it difficult to fix. Then there’s the concern that in January when my vitamin supplements run out, the funds are depleted, I will battle on empty handed. That’s just the way my life is, drag me behind a fast moving car and let’s see if I live. Never a dull moment. This is it. I hope I can climb out of this funk because as it looks right now…it’s gonna be awhile.

Then I feel SO petty with my mundane complaints when thousands are out there struggling through the Storm of the Century, Hurricane Harvey hitting Houston! I pray, I meditate and I cry, all stress that is not doing me any good. 

Everyone pretending to be happy shakes my faith in society as a whole. Now some people are finally starting to see what I’ve been seeing for months now how we are basically under a governing regime. From food, water, to medical needs the government turning a blind eye except where their money is concerned. I am left to wonder…

Thank you to all who stood stoically by my side. And to the ones who don’t give a flying fig but pretend you do…. I got nothing.

Job 7:6 “My days are swifter than a weaver's shuttle, and are spent without hope.”

Total Eclipse of the Soul

Prov. 3: 5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

Total Eclipse of the Soul

I wasn’t expecting too much yesterday because weathermen tried to ruin the suspense but I was hoping I would get to see the once in a lifetime total solar eclipse in its totality and let me tell you, it was everything I expected and MORE! I set my lounge chair up outside directing it toward the sun. About ten minutes before the moon began its trek in front of the sun, I posted my blog yesterday. Sloppy as it was I was in a hurry and wasn’t much caring about typos or grammar at that point, I wanted to witness the breathtaking total solar eclipse, the spiritual experience of a lifetime.

I hurried outside, plopped in my chair and the hours passed by like liquid pouring from a cup. My neck has been in a lot of pain this past week, I think from sleeping wrong but yeah a lot of pain for days now. I couldn’t sit in the normal lawn chair, I had to use the one that enabled me to stretch out allowing me and my neck a relaxing position without hurting myself.

I lay there, glasses on and sat watching, waiting, wanting. For some reason, I was expecting something metaphysical to happen because when I watch the stars, the clouds, the leaves, nature, in general, I always have the experience to write about even if it’s meant to be just for me. But yesterday, the eclipse was for millions to witness but would we all see it the same way? Would we all feel that universal connection to the heavens?

My tee shirt logo

Hubby purchased tee shirts a month ago in eager anticipation of what was going to unfold. As the day the eclipse was set to happen, you could feel something brewing in the air even upon waking. Now we’re in no way extravagant, but we felt we needed to mark this day in history by something more significant than a picture. A tee shirt was our little taste of extravagance for the special day. The above pic is mine and my son's workplace provided their own tee's for the occasion. This event is big for Nebraskans.

The entire week leading up to the day had been sunny but forecasters called for this special day to be huddled in clouds. At best the eclipse would be hit or miss. Not expecting anything because of what the weathermen said, I still waited on the Lord to put on a spectacular show; if he can move mountains and part the sea, He certainly can make sure the clouds are moved so that those who needed to see the blazing glory had the chance. 

The temps were in the eighties. the breeze swift and I could feel myself getting a little anxious. Like a teenager anticipating a first date, I awaited my escort to show up. The shadows were playing tricks; dancing silhouettes spun on the ground. The sky looked like a fluorescent light bulb casting shadows in a strange flickering light.

Shadows on the ground minutes before totality

As the moon crept over the sun the sky was slowly becoming the celestial event of a lifetime for me. As it neared totality, the wind ceased. The birds quieted. My husband and I basically were holding our breath. Do you remember the scene from The Ten Commandments movie where Moses is facing the burning bush? He took his shoes off because he was on the Holy ground? That is exactly how I felt as the minutes ticked toward totality, the seconds became the moment, and totality kissed my face, brushing my hair in darkness, whisking my mind to a euphoric high. The sky darkened, the stars briefly appeared, birds silenced as crickets chirred to life.

It happened, the gentle kiss upon arrival, a ring of fire lit 'round the moon. I could see a pinkish light to the right of the moon as if to blush at seeing me. The rest of the circle was a shiny silver plate setting at the King’s castle. Then something happened I wasn’t expecting, tears flowed from my eyes and I bowed my head in the palms of my hands and thanked the Lord for this chance to see His beautiful creation in full splendor. Points of light shone round about like a silent explosion. I bawled my eyes out trying to see all this beauty while fireworks went off in the background twenty miles away in the instant darkness graced the earth. I was basking for a moment in the presence of my Lord.

Totality

While I’m seeing images from around the U.S., some real and some obvious fakes, some over filtered, some raw, there is nothing like actually viewing with your naked eye. Nothing captured what I actually observed with my own eyes, heart, and soul. For a twinkle in time, people stopped, the earth paused in adoration, kids stopped texting and saw the event that would give rise to higher thoughts. My hubby used his eclipse glasses as a shield to click a picture of the total eclipse. He took one with his phone and one with the camera. Me? I was lounging in awe, silently rejoicing in my Lord for the majestic event of the day, looking forward to when we’d meet again. While not everyone was consciously focused on the same thing, I was only focused on Him. Not the sun, not the moon, Him, just Him, the One and Only Son!

Dan. 4:3 “How great are his signs! and how mighty are his wonders! his kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and his dominion is from generation to generation.”

Acts 2:19 “And I will shew wonders in heaven above, and signs in the earth beneath; blood, and fire, and vapour of smoke:”

Signs and Wonder

Pss. 71:7  “I am as a wonder unto many; but thou art my strong refuge.”

SIGNS AND WONDER

I’m seeing the signs of healing and I wonder, is all of the hard work worth the time and effort to get to a healing point? I have to say yes because I know God has a purpose for everything. God uses pain and suffering to show you the miraculous. You might not see it as miraculous but trust me, to the individual the suffering is happening to, it is nothing short of a miracle.

It has been three months since the devastating blow to my ego, to my everyday life, to my harmonious routine, the blow to the core of my being. Why hadn’t I seen the signs leading up to this prognosis? Why did I ignore my instinct when any other time I listen wholeheartedly? I’ll tell you why I didn’t want it to be true. 

Back when I did a post Putting the Puzzle Together it made me think of those little pictures I used to do to connect the dots and in connecting the dots it formed a picture? Remember those? I used to have big thick coloring books filled with them. I loved putting puzzles together too and there is nothing worse than getting to the end of the puzzle and finding you’re missing a couple of pieces, or in connecting the dots you missed a number and the picture isn’t fully complete. 

I traced the puzzle pieces all the way back to childhood trauma of injury and the rancid acts of sexual abuse and have been mentally working on those elements to heal portions of me that need mending but I see I’ve missed a couple of pieces that were instrumental in completing the puzzle namely psoriasis. Why had I skipped it and left that major piece of the puzzle out? Shame? Embarrassment? 

In the past three months of researching the causes of this illness, I found a missing puzzle link in the fungal skin disorder psoriasis and another one in underwire bras. I know right, who would’ve thought? I’ve worn underwire bras my whole life and thought nothing of the warnings that they could cause breast cancer. I just thought they were trying to scare people but now I think differently. 

I have bought hundreds of bras in my lifetime and some have padding in them BUT there is a slot where you can slip out the padding? You ladies know what I’m talking about? Well, there are no slots to slide out the underwire. I hope by this posting and putting the thought out there, it will soon come to fruition and makers of bras will make slots to REMOVE the underwire, to protect women instead of worrying about making money off of them. 

As much as the Big C is a billion dollar industry, so are women’s breasts! We have organizations that fight for animal rights, for abortion laws, we have people fighting for the food industry but why are women not fighting for their dignity back? They continue to allow men to demean them in ways of Fredrick’s of Hollywood, where they are allowed television time to be displayed and flaunted all the way down to fast food restaurants like Hooters and Twin Peaks. It’s demeaning and degrading and women worldwide are allowing this to happen.

While I’ve made marked changes in my undergarment wearing, I’m seeing the signs of healing and no longer wonder. Rarely in my lifetime has my psoriasis cleared up, but now it has been clearing. I had irregular periods last year (due to being perimenopausal) but recently it has returned, when it would stop for months at a time. There are signs I need to look for since I have no doctor willing to do any tests to see my progress, I need to be vigilant and actually look and SEE the signs of changes. Hopefully, I’ll listen to my instincts this time if it tells me this alternative method is not working. Right now, it IS working and my healing is moving forward.

I’m aching in places that fill me with wonder. Every bump I feel, I wonder. Every bite of food that goes in my mouth, I wonder. Every day that passes I wonder. The difference is this, I don’t wonder out of fear, I wonder out of expectancy… the expectancy of HEALING taking place!  

Pss. 139:6  “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

Just A Meme To Me

Just a Meme to Me

I learn who you are through memes

The new world order so it seems

I don’t understand

The image is bland

Lies in disguise as one deems.

I often am left to wonder

Why people choose to plunder

What once was great

is it now too late

to dig out what has put us under.

I’d love to learn from word

What actually you heard.

Lines so discreet

The lies of deceit

The image you paint is so blurred

I learn who you are through memes

Intruding through the seams

You’re foreign to me

No words do I see

You’re rendered in picturesque themes.

Pss. 33:4 “For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.”

The Truth Hurts

Gen.1:1 “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.”

The Truth Hurts

Well, yesterday was a good day even with summer rearing its ugly head to let me know it hasn’t gone too far away. Sometimes summer does that, it holds onto the season until the very last day and sometimes longer not wanting to let go and release the cooler temperatures of autumn!

After a quite refreshing couple of days in the fifties, eighty degrees raised the bar yesterday. Sure I stayed inside and did my work but I could feel the warmth tapping on the closed windows wanting to heat the house. Then last night we had a thunderstorm that washed away the heat in a light show beyond comparison. Flashing across the sky, lightning lit up the south, west and northern portions of the sky, the strobe light blinked in red and bluish hues. 

You could say I got a wake-up call yesterday in speaking the truth, right or wrong? I called my mother like I normally do at the same time every evening. I was in a relaxed mode as we had settled in to watch our movie but I pause the movie every evening to call my mother back home.

I could sense harshness in her tone but I shrugged it off as the conversation continued. She had said that she had a bad day, I knew what that meant but I prodded for more info and maybe I should have just ended the call by saying maybe a better day tomorrow but  it’s my mother, I needed to know if she was okay. 

A little back-story might help you with where I’m going with this. My mother lost her best friend, her husband of sixty years and she misses him intensely! A bad day means she just sits there thinking about him, his illness, his hospital stay, and most heart-wrenchingly, his death. As is to be expected, she has her good days and her bad days.

It hurts me to no end that I can’t be there for her but my calls have got to be enough at this juncture in my life and MY healing. She went on how my sister took her out to lunch and a little shopping. I know it’s good for her to get out and that is her healing mechanism, to shop. It always has been.

She told me about a book she read (this is where the conversation went downhill) about a young boy who died and went to heaven and came back and told this story of meeting Jesus in heaven and his deceased sister (that he had no knowledge of before the coma). The story Heaven Is for Real is the book she was referring to. 

She went on to tell me that because of THAT book she believes Heaven is for real and that ‘I’ should read the book to see for myself. I told her I READ a book that tells me heaven is for real called The Holy Bible. She retorted, “Oh, I’m going to read that one too.”

But then her tone became one of anger and she started berating me, “Why do you always have a conflicting response? Everything I say, you always try to correct me!”

Calmly I spoke and said, “I think I need to call you tomorrow.” I was not going to allow her bad day to leak through the phone and cause ME to have a bad day (too late) also. It already had in ways you don’t want to know. 

Was I wrong in telling her the truth? Should I let her believe Jesus is up there with a rainbow crown prancing with unicorns? Was I wrong in directing her to the bible? Should I let my mother holler at me like a two-year-old because she is grieving? I did and ended the call and afterward, I cried.

I told my son what had happened because he had overheard me, after talking to my mother, very loudly vocalizing my hurt from the phone call and then suffering a chest-tightening anxiety attack. 

His response? “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” 

Yeah, I spat that at him more times than once, now it was his turn to fling those sentiments at me. Boy, I'm batting a thousand in the feel good vibes!

I explained to him that I respect our difference in beliefs; I don’t force my belief on him, I already lost that battle and he is his own person believing what he wants. But no one wants to respect MY beliefs. So now here I am…

Tears roll down my cheek as I wonder if all of this is in vain. Am I writing the truth, yes I know it is MY truth, to believers or non-believers? Do the non-believers think I’m an overbearing, pompous, bible thumping donkey? Do believers believe the same truth? Prayer…lots of prayer time for ME coming up in the following weeks, I’ll let you know how it turns out.

I know grief has no time limit. I understand the mourning process. I have lost all four grandparents (not the same as a husband), I’ve lost two children (not the same as a husband), I’ve lost a father, along with aunts and uncles to illness or suicide (not the same as a husband); so maybe I don’t understand my mothers’ grief. Maybe it IS normal for her to buy my father's cologne so she can inhale the fragrance he once wore. 

I don’t understand the loss of a husband and truly hope I don’t have to ever cross that bridge but one thing I AM certain of is Heaven, FOR ME! I’m not certain if my father is there, I don’t know if my mother will wind up there, I don’t even know if I’M going to end up there but… I DO KNOW HEAVEN IS THERE! I will strive to reach heaven, long for it, and always feel it within my grasp. 

Maybe I should just shut my mouth and stop my fingers now.

Matt. 18:3 “And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven."

Why King James Version?

Prov. 30:5-6  Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him. Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

Since first grade and my entry into a Catholic elementary school, I was introduced to the Word via the King James Bible. For countless years the King James Bible was my guide. I read it like it was the only book on my shelf from front to back and over and over again through the years.

In ninth grade I went to a Christian school and again, the use of the KJV bible was the one used for our bible studies. I hadn’t even heard of other translations of the bible but our Pastor at CLA (Christian Liberty Academy) told us of numerous ‘other’ translations that were out there and that we should steer clear lest we wanted to be led astray.

I remember one distinct day a conversation my sister and I were having as she was struggling in her faith. She asked me how I understood the bible so clearly when she herself found it so confusing. She knew of my love of poetry and I told her, “It is poetry to my eyes and ears.”

As you can imagine she looked even more confused by stating, “I just don’t get it.”

I personally don’t think the bible was written for us to ‘get’. I think it was written solely for us to feel! A new age guru did not write the words of the bible. He did not set out to explain every minute detail of every single word defining passages along the way. But in many of the NEW translations I feel that is what someone tried to do, write the bible more clearly so everyone could understand the Word it was speaking.

Even at our church, the KJV is frowned upon, seeking the word from the NIV because that was the most closely translated version of the KJV. Pastor Mike would often reference the KJV because the NIV didn’t have the clarity of the words. Many friends find the NIV an easier read, also. Can you all say, DIVIDED?

Does anyone realize that all these versions are simply dividing instead of what the Word intended on UNIFYING. When people hear that there are over 50 different versions of the Bible in the English language alone, they often think, "No wonder they are so divided.”

They might be wrong and they might be right. I’m not here to say who/what is wrong or right, I’m here to say what works for ME! And quite frankly, the King James version has worked for me for over 40 years now, so why would I want to conform to what other believers are believing and using? If the other translations work for you, that is fine, but my house, and me, we serve the Lord and I won’t let other translations cloud my enjoyment of the poetry it speaks to my heart and soul.

The one scripture that stands out to me that is too ‘changed’, and it’s not because of any Charlie Brown Christmas either, is the one from Luke.

KJV - Luke 2:8-14 And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

NIV – Luke 2:8-14  And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.  An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.  But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.  This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

The entire scripture was changed! Did you notice that the NIV omitted the words CHRIST OUR LORD? Yes, I know Messiah the Lord means the same thing but WHY omit CHRIST? How is changing those three words more clearly defining the Word? I find that entire scripture sacrilegious! But then again, that is just ME! And just on whom does His favor rest?

As hard as satan tries to tug and pull me away from what CHRIST has shown me, I will not be led to his lies, fear and doubts he tries throwing at ME! I am SPIRIT-FILLED, not just a liver and believer. I am a follower of Christ and not ashamed of it in anyway way. But satan will have you believe otherwise through guilt, shame and doubt. Be aware of his tactics.
So why do I choose the King James Version? Because it is a poetic imprint on my soul that I just can’t shake and don’t want to either.
 
Follow what is on your heart and may God be with you at all times.

I Have to Wonder

Deut. 28: 46 And they shall be upon thee for a sign and for a wonder, and upon thy seed for ever.

I Have to Wonder

I have to wonder what path we’re on

For seasons we’ve not seen

The Lord is coming to wipe us out

On satan you cannot lean.

For every incident that happens

We’re all about who is to blame.

I have to wonder why all point fingers

But never at their own shame.

I stand upon a Rock of faith

It never allows me to fall.

I have to wonder why men deceive

Not embracing the beauty of it all.

I have to wonder why idols are built

For demons who cannot save?

I’ll keep my trust in a LIVING God

For promises kept and gave.

My life as a Christian will shine

I want all of the world to see.

My testament of a faithful God

They’ll wonder why I’m so free.

Pss. 40: 5 Many, O LORD my God, are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered.

Pss. 71: 7 I am as a wonder unto many; but thou art my strong refuge.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Taken from FaceBook

***

This is Thanksgiving in America, the day we celebrate with family and give thanks for our blessings throughout the year. While this year I am spending it alone with Adam, no turkey, no hubbub, no family, I still find I am thankful for many things.

Some corporations, while always thinking about money and not family, have made workers work on this day. It’s always about the almighty dollar; and we wonder why God wants to end this world?

This will be my first ever Thanksgiving alone. A time for family is going to be spent with Adam and I preparing for Christmas. The nation commercializes Halloween to the hilt with adult costumes (that should be reserved for the intimacy of a bedroom, I might add) candy, gore, and the celebration of the evil; while Thanksgiving gets overlooked and we segue right into Christmas. (note: Christmas music begins playing in stores the day after Halloween.)

While back home my mother and father will venture off to my brothers, my sister and her husband will go to my brothers also, my niece will go to her mother in laws, and my other brother will relish the time surrounded by his family. Two of my brothers are alone this day.

Stevens family will gather together and celebrate with the turkey and all the trimmings but most of all, each other. I can almost savor the aroma coming from their houses as laughter and chit chat erupts about how great or bad this year has been. Turkey and dressing, pumpkin pies and cranberry sauce; the heat from the oven making many peek outside to feel some kind of breeze and coolness. Ahh, it must be nice to feel a part of a family.

And me, I’ll work my little butt off, with Adam running errands of up and down the stairs, to bring Christmas to life for us. Adam doesn’t mind not having Thanksgiving today, he’s almost 17 and his joy is being home from school. We did have a thrown together turkey meal on Sunday as our thanksgiving, but it just wasn’t the same. No homemade dressing, no mashed potatoes from REAL potatoes, carrots from a CAN, can you believe THAT? But we were together and that is what mattered.

I knew this was going to be a long week, since the almighty dollar calls to the big corporations and franchises. BUT, I am thankful for a great year that has passed by, it seems, quicker than a meteor whizzing through the sky.

As I try not to get depressed over being alone this day, I have to remind myself what a great year this has been and be Thankful for all the blessings God has given us.

The year began with the healing of the infection that was making my body inoperable, by May I was almost myself and the Blessings of my Church family did not go unnoticed!

While Steven, after being blind for three years, had his sight restored in Oct. 2011, some time in March, he had an infection. Many backbreaking trips to Omaha, a tire blowout; we again were delivered blessings in way of new tires, and the healing of the infection.

In July, Steven had his driver’s license back in his hand. Limited to a 40-mile radius, it could have saddened us, but instead we looked up and the blessing was that he found a job within the forty-mile radius. He cannot drive at night (another restriction) but the place he works for is willing to work around that. (they’re open 24 hrs. a day, so this was good)

While I sit here today, feeling sorry for myself, I’m reminded of all the blessings we’ve had this year, and my spirits lift and I’m Grateful to my God for everything. This is why I’ll skip right over Thanksgiving and head into a celebration of Christmas. I’m also reminded that every Day I’m Thankful, and need no one day set aside to celebrate it. Now the whole family thing is over rated and my being alone with no family this day hurts. BUT I am THANKFUL they are alive and healthy, somewhat healthy, but they are alive to celebrate this day and give THANKS!

More to be thankful for this day, from my FaithWriters family:

Lord we lift up Joni to you.
  We have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love toward all the saints, We do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in our prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might.  Ephesians 1:15-19
We pray for great blessing, wisdom and protection for Joni and a sense of your overwhelming presence and love. That they would know for certain in their hearts that they have been forgiven and released from any shame and guilt. Help Joni to see who they are in Christ. Place a strong desire in Joni to know more about you and a hunger for your Word. Open the doors for Joni that lead to you and close the doors that lead away. In Jesus mighty name we pray.

Amem

Poetry Sunday ~ The Wonder of it All

I believe in the sun even if it isn't shining. I believe in love even when I am alone. I believe in God even when He is silent.
~Author Unknown ~

The Wonder of it All

***

To see the world with different eyes
to bare the soul of its disguise;
to open up a vein and see
a rainbow looking back at me.

The shield in place for far too long
never stealing the inner song. 

The veil it covered all the world
a ribbon of light is now unfurled.

I glance up at the open sky,
all the while I wonder why.
Why does blue look so pure
and fluffy clouds quite obscure.

It is only now that all the trees
wave to me with loosened leaves.
No longer just a crunching sound,
I can see color, coating the ground.

I glance at stars in the night
am truly blessed to have this sight.
My world was such a shaded place
until my Father showed His face.

All the wonder came back to me
as I was granted the chance to see.
A glorious season this one called Fall,
I stand amazed by the wonder of it all!

Poetry Sunday ~ The Wonder of Wonders

Gen 9:13 I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between me and the earth.
***

The Wonder of Wonders
(c) Joni Zipp
***
The wonder of wonders
of the night
the stars are still
the moon is bright.

The wonder of wonders
of the sky
if only we knew
the answers to why.

The wonder of wonders
of hidden meaning
take it all in
as one who is gleaning.

The wonder of wonders
the master has spoken
I give you the rainbow
as a token!

All rights reserved: copyright © Joni  Zipp

The Wonder of it All

Genesis 24:21 And the man wondering at her held his peace, to wit whether the LORD had made his journey prosperous or not.
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Did you ever wonder why you became a writer? Do you ever wonder what keeps you writing?

I don’t wonder why I became a writer because it’s always been there. I remember writing stories when I was six years old. Well, I always told stories and tried to write them down, pretending to be this big famous writer.

I remember when I was eight years old writing my mother her first card for Valentine’s day. I do believe it was a roses are red type poem, but I’ve never bought my mother another card after that, I’ve always written them. I wrote poems for every occasion that arose whether it was my mothers birthday or my fathers, mothers day, Easter, Christmas and I even wrote my neighbors a poem when their dog passed away.

I also remember my neighbors telling me that it was the most beautiful poem they ever read, and here I was no older than 10. Were they just saying that? Or had I really touched them with my words? I like to think I reached deep into their heart and placed a hug there so they would be comforted, all through my love of words. This tiny bit of recognition encouraged me. Sure my mother and father loved my poetry, but it was just words to them, nothing I could ever make a career out of.

Writing is an expression of emotion that we carry with us and display through our language. We write to convey a message or to get things off our chest. No matter what the case, being a writer isn’t something that you dream about, it is something you are born with, deep inside and whether you find it hidden there, is up to you.

What keeps me writing? Not being able to do much else. ha ha, I’m kidding there. What keeps me writing is the love and passion that flows through my fingertips. Sometimes I write or tap and keep tapping without even knowing where I’m going to wind up. It’s like taking a drive at night without a definitive destination in mind. You’re in the drivers seat, heading to who knows where, and when you park you realize what you came to this spot for.

Does that make sense? Ask a writer, they’ll tell you. When they begin they only have a vague idea where they are going with a story and before they know it, they’ve penned thousands of words coming out with a finale that they knew was there, they just didn’t know it when they started. The same theory for poetry. You can’t force a poem, it just flows or it doesn’t.

This is what keeps me writing. The love of the unknown. In this world of craziness, writing is my sanity. In this place we call Earth, writing is my comfort. In a hectic life, this is my stability. This abode, I find myself. This domicile, I am me. Within these letters...I find a safe haven.

A Blind Mans Journey

Drums in the deep....

As many of you may or may not know, my fiancé Steven, has gone blind. It has only been four months since he’s been completely blind and before that it was slowly diminishing. He can no longer partake of the beautiful sunrise, he can no longer see the breathtaking blossoms of spring. All he has, are drums in the deep. Challenges are at our doorstep with every waking day and we endure.

Our lovely government has been of little help in helping us. We have food, for that I am grateful. But the medical help has been a no-show. We’ve applied for assistance of every kind so that this man can become a productive working man in society once again, but our Government would rather have him disabled for two years before they offer him Medicare.

He needs a cornea transplant and a cataract transplant, of which we’ve found help in the Lions Club. They are willing to pay for the operation, but it’s the prior visits and infections and the follow-up treatment that we need help from the government with. I realize now that our government isn’t for the disabled of society and that is truly sad in the “Land of the Free”.

With all of this surrounding us, we have turned to the only thing we know and that is our Lord and Savior. Without our faith, I’m certain we would have been washed up and left on the shores for the crabs to pick at.

Steven has started a blog of his own, which will document his journey into the depths of doom, only to be lifted by spiritual growth that comes from all trials. He’s a pretty good writer if I do say so myself, and his path is one for all of us to admire. He’s strong, brave, and quite the exceptional man, and he’s mine! lol

I do believe everything happens for a reason, and through his blindness, I can see. John 9:39 says: And Jesus said, For judgment I am come into this world, that they which see not might see; and that they which see might be made blind.

I cannot imagine my sight being taken away, and I think we all take for granted the gift of sight. As an experiment, blindfold yourself for an hour. Just one hour. Through this experiment, you’ll learn that our sight is a gift and one we should treasure. Imagine life where you can only use touch,taste,smell, and sound. Life without the fifth sense would be quite a challenge for any of us.

My journey is far from over and my blogging days have only just begun. As followers of mine, please take a peek at this wonderful new blog, The Drums in the Deep. Leave a comment if you’d like. Support your fellow brother and let him know... he’s not alone on this journey.

John 12: 40 states: He hath blinded their eyes, and hardened their heart; that they should not see with their eyes, nor understand with their heart, and be converted, and I should heal them.