What Dreams May Come

Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you. ~Marsha Norman

***

Well here we are. Today I’d like to talk about a few things, if you don’t mind.

For one, I almost gave up on writing (yeah right, you say?) No, seriously, I really have not felt like writing because a few loose cannons went off, and tried to disable me, but then I realized, no one can hurt me but me! I am my own worst enemy when it comes to writing.

I’m no longer a part of a certain writing site, just too much has happened, too much pain and bitter feelings there and as I let the administration down and many writers, I have other avenues in writing to pursue. My old friends will have to visit my blog if ever to see me, or not visit me at all and let me get on with my life. Thanks for the many good years, but now it is time for me to go and grow. They know who they are, know what they did, and they have to wake every morning and live with trying to wreck a writers dreams. Personally, I hope they look in the mirror and feel good about themselves.

It is Spring as you might have all noticed, as the robins are dancing in the yard, flowers have reared their head from the soil, and a mild winter will bring us a beautiful flourishing abundant Spring and Summer for sure. Well Summer is still iffy, since I think we’ll be getting some horrendous storms that will cripple a couple places, but don’t hold me to that, okay? It might just be an amazing and uneventful summer where you are at.

Dreams come from imagination. Your conscious mind creates things and it is up to you to make that dream become reality. My dream of writing cannot be put out by a few watery hoses; someone better bring out mightier and more powerful arsenal to squelch THIS flame.

While the first three months of the year have not been uneventful with Omaha trips, infections poisoning our systems, attacking us, and months of the same from my once joyful writing site, I am heading into Spring, and my New Year (Yes, I celebrate MY new year on Easter) with promise and HOPE for a new beginning.

As I’ve peeled myself away, I have opened new layers of consciousness which have enabled me to meet new people, become a part of NEW places to advance my writing because as it is told to me often, I have a talent, and as such, I must find a way to utilize the gift given to me.

Next week, we’ll begin looking at grammar and all the useful tools available. I will not list the different sites I’ve signed up to, because I do not want the vipers to follow me and continue to haunt and taunt me. But you’ll see, as I move forward, we move forward together. New tools, new aspects of the writing field, can only mean New Growth as Spring comes alive and showers me with what dreams may come alive for me as the days roll along.

Accentuate the Positive

Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results.
Willie Nelson

***

In writing, you’re going to come across negative and positive situations. I’ve run into an entire site of negative goofballs that I’ve found, and it is just time to eliminate the place entirely from my life. Happy them, oh joyous me!

I always try to surround myself with a positive flow of energy so that the positive will flow through me and into them, but I do expect the same in return. If you can’t respect me a little, then you are not worthy of an ounce of my energy. By putting a positive spin on our writing, nothing negative can from it. Hand it to a negative and you’ll get a negative return.

Sure, if you put it in the hands of negative people, you do know what’s going to happen don’t you? You will surely be told all negative things about your work. They might say, “This stinks! You really need to work on your writing!” “Well this is okay, but this could certainly be better.” No I’m not saying that you want to hear all good things and praise for your work, but you would like honest feedback and respect, wouldn’t you? You’d like to feel something positive coming through the screen.

In a world where Satan has plans and twists and turns for everything that God has put into place, we need to be a stronger species and become aware and delete the force from our life so we can walk in the Light of the Lord. In my writing world, the negativity has worn me down to where I had never ever wanted to write again. And it wasn’t until I got rid of those negative people from my life, that my writing life took on a whole new turn, for the positive.

Sunday evening, satans minions were out in full force, tugging at me and pulling my strings. As you know of my health issues, you know I am at this point, very weak physically, but have never been stronger spiritually. While I was bonding with my sweet sisters in Christ, through prayer and common bonds, the dark one was swiftly at work trying to put an anchor to the ship that has done set sail with God’s breath.

Are any of you aware of his malicious intent? Are any of you brave enough to put a stop to him that speaks as a viper, licks with a wicked forked tongue and strangles you with his mighty bound force? Many walk on in stride, ignoring his clutch, pretending that if you ignore his strength, befriend him, he just won’t exist or have any input in your life. That my friend, is a lie that he has fed you and a lie that you believe.

I woke in a sweat Sunday morning at 3 a.m., from a nightmare. The doctors were telling me that they couldn’t help me, they wanted their money ($5000 dollars) and to come back and see them when I got the funds. Shaking and trembling, tears didn’t just leak from my eyes, it was a deluge! I came out to write. Still reeling from the negative spew of the night before, nightmare all to vivid in my mind, it was washed away by the Grace of God and one email! “We have the funds!”

You see, satan had wanted to put a halt to Gods plan for me, but he forgot who has more power. God has more power and has surrounded me with a positive flow of people who will lift me up in Christ, and satan holds no power with his negative people and forces!

I don’t apologize for not allowing the wolves in sheep's clothing, to come and sit with me so as to find my weaknesses so they can strike. If by the Grace of God, you are surrounded by the power and positive energy of the Light, satan and his minion folk can’t touch you. Oh, they will try...but one needs to be aware, or the negative force will wreak havoc in YOUR life.

Go with Godspeed... accentuate the positive; you, your health, and your writing is well worth it!

Finding My Place

2 Cor. 4:9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

A week into the new year and I’m just trying to find my place. I thought I knew where I was heading last year, but I got caught in a tailspin then it all went haywire and out of control. An illness attacked my body and a dark force tried pulling me down, but I kept the Lord front and center (as always) and with Him by my side, I am overcoming many obstacles.

I have come down heavy on the Social scenes this week because that is one of the dark forces that tried swallowing me up. I say dark force because it distracted me from what God had intended for me to do in MY life.  To many, Social Scenes are their life, to me it is just a fun playground, where I ran around and lost myself in the zany crazy aspect of life but when I started losing sight of my goals (see Mondays post) I realized it was time to move on into the new year and into the Light.

To find your place, you need to embrace the reality that is before you. Sure you can drown in your virtual world, pretend that you’re working, tell yourself this is what you enjoy doing and this is fulfilling to you, but really think about what you’re saying. A technological gadget, has swallowed hours upon hours of your time, you wake up to drink coffee with a virtual social world. You sit all day updating a status and liking and when it is time to go to bed, you wake mid-morning and find yourself sitting at the Scene, posting that ‘you’re awake.’ Is this what God had planned for your life?  A lot of people pray, asking God for things, but did you ever pray and ask Him what He WANTS for your life? Do you hear what He says when He speaks/answers???

While I love my friends dearly that I’ve met in the virtual world and would not trade one of them for anything. They are my friends and know me respectfully and know that it is time for my mending and healing. This string of posts are all about me and how *I* need to change my life. If, for some reason, you see yourself in these threads, then maybe that is God speaking to you, not me. 

While Social scenes might be to some, their world, it can not be my world. My healing is physical, my  life is going to gain spiritually and the waves coming through a machine, sometimes hinders that flow of the spirit. You can ‘post’ a hundred scriptures a day, it doesn’t bring you (or anyone else for that matter) any closer to God, than when you speak to Him directly. The reason I posted scriptures was because I am sharing my walk with Christ. If someone gets moved to Christ, well then, All Glory to Him!  My motto, “Don’t talk the talk, if you don’t walk the walk.” This is where I walk...

It is Monday, and I have written five days of blog posts including this one, over 3000 words, and that’s not including all five days for next week, and my journaling, etc.!  I’m focusing on NOT giving up writing, because that is a part of my spiritual healing. As I move into the second week of January (lookout people. This series of threads will drift into a more promising outlook), my healing along with My Savior, is right beside me, and we shall move forward into the Light that I need to be in. I’m finding MY place, are you?

Gal. 4:29 But as then he that was born after the flesh persecuted him that was born after the Spirit, even so it is now.

Poetry Sunday ~ God Made You

God Made You!
***

God made you
especially for me
awaited the seconds
that we could be.

God made you
He shaped the mold
gave to me
a world of gold.

God made you
to endure great pain
family umbrella
to shield the rain.

God made you
not to be blind;
only to seek
and one day find.

You found me
and you found Him
We were both there
when life got dim.

God made you
a righteous man
He made me
by your side I’ll stand.
***
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
MY LOVE!

Poetry Sunday ~ The Rainbows Touch

Luke 24:49 And, behold, I send the promise of my Father upon you: but tarry ye in the city of Jerusalem, until ye be endued with power from on high.

***

The Rainbows Touch
***

The sun drips rainbows from the sky,
a canopy of color blooms down.
Skyward my eyes squint to behold,
the hue of God to which I’m bound.

Rest those eyes, my precious child
For you are not alone.
Color the sky in rainbow pearls
where angels before have flown.

Whisked away to the palette
where brush and paint collide
In His hand I’m gently cradled
the arc of the bow I reside.

Flecks of color come alive
they dance in a splendid show.
His voice now sings a melody
of which I’ve come to know.

Beads if shivers rush my spine
but warmth of light abounds.
Spinning in a cosmic glow
awashed in harps and sounds.

In Gods eyes we unite
the harmony I seek so much
I’ve found it in the loving care
and warmth of the Rainbow’s Touch!

Amazing Grace

I will praise the Lord at all times. I will constantly speak his praises. I will boast only in the Lord; let all who are helpless take heart. Ps 34:1-2 (NLT)

Are you there God? It’s me, Joni.

Have you ever felt like your voice is echoing in a tunnel and no one is hearing? I’ve never really felt like that because I always knew God was listening, as He was talking to me along the journey of Stevens blindness, He spoke, I listened. I never really asked anything of myself, I just kept praying for everyone else in need.

The power of prayer is simply amazing. When I send out a prayer for someone or say to a person, I’ll pray for you, those are not empty words that stop at just words, I really sincerely pray for that person. I won’t go into the amount of prayers I’ve said or for who, but I can say that the persons prayed for come back to me and say, “I FELT your prayers.” All Glory to God.

So when I send a prayer into the tunnel, it doesn’t have an echo, because of all the prayers it is bumping into. The tunnel is full of prayers and when I say, “Are you there God, it’s me, Joni,” I know God will hear my prayer. He forgets no one.

People think I’m crazy because when they ask or tell me to do something, I have a tendency to say, “I’ll see what God says,” or I’ll wait to hear what God wants me to do.” and if He says wait, I wait, patiently, sometimes in deep pain, struggling, gasping for air, but I wait, and God answers in a resounding brilliance of rainbow colors.

I don’t mean He puts a rainbow in the sky for me, (although sometimes he has done that.) But He layers his answer in a colorful rainbow that only I hear, and obey. ROYGBIV
Red-- “REST my child for you are weary”, Orange-- “OPEN your heart and let the Light shine through.” Yellow -- “YOU are my child and never forgotten.”, Green -- “GRACE from your Lord and Savior surrounds you.” Blue -- “BE one with all that I AM.” Indigo -- “I am the Lord your God.”, Violet -- “ VALUE all that you are!”

Then He adds... “You are not alone.” And then gives me a hug that is like no other warmth of the universe surrounding me.

How can you ignore that? Maybe you don’t hear Him? Maybe you’ve been so busy with reading the scripture, you never really gave it a chance when it came to actually living the scripture. I am not perfect by no means, I am a sinner like each and every one of you and think myself nothing more, but I strive, every day I wake up, and listen for the rainbow, I strive to make my day full of Glory to God.

I rose today, along with the glorious sun and felt, His Amazing Grace...
...was blind...but now... I SEE!!!

Thank you Lord, for prayers answered! Praise be your name!

NOTE: We are nearing a holiday, where people are lonely and need our prayer. Thanksgiving and Christmas should be a time for celebration and giving thanks. This weeks posts will be for the needy, the less fortunate, the ones no one cares for, but Jesus.

Matt. 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

All Hallows Evil

I did not become a Christian to be like YOU.
I do not follow Christ, so I can do what YOU do.
I do not owe my life to God, so I can give thanks to YOU!
I do not like the things YOU like, I like what Jesus likes,
And I’M okay with that! ARE YOU?

I will respect our differences...all I ask is that YOU, RESPECT ME.


"Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?" 1 Corinthians 3:16

Remember...what YOU do, affects your temple.

****

Have you ever noticed that people use God and their religion, whatever it may be, as a mask. They say things like, “I’m a Christian.” But then their actions say they are in cahoots with the dark one. They drink, they lie, cheat, steal, lust, revel in anarchy and I think to myself, “Where is Jesus in that picture?”

Then I hear people say, “I went to church as a kid. I was raised on God.” And? Your point being? Because your mother made you go to church as a kid, now, 40 years later entitles you to call yourself a Christian? Living the title: Christian, entitles you to suffering, persecution and the gates being opened to Heaven when you pass on in death.

As you swig the beer are you thinking of dying? Or are you just covering up a hidden pain? Are you justifying your actions? That’s my favorite, the justifiers. “God won’t mind. He said I can drink, lust, look at pornographic images, be a pervert among society without ramifications.”  He did? Where did He say that? And it is YOU who call yourself a Christian?

No, our society justifies everything they do, never thinks about dying, death or WHERE they are going to wind up at deaths door. They have this idea, that they’ll sin now until their dying day, THEN ask God for forgiveness and get into heaven. Yeah, I think that’s what Satan tried to pull; and he was given his very OWN heaven! In the accolades of Hell!

Halloween to me is reminiscent of the Hell people will endure. Everyone justifies lies, deceit, masks, all in good fun. Christmas even mocks the Lords birthday with Santa and his reindeer.  But I’m going a bit far there because all of the liars will come down on me. Hey, don’t come down on me, I chose NOT to lie about Santa, the Easter bunny, and all the other hoaxes society tried to push me to do. Nope, I’m a follower of Christ, not a follower of society.

As tomorrow rears its head and many celebrate what is deemed All Saints Day. (I was raised Catholic; converted to Christianity at 14) Remember this...we don’t need to be Saints in this world; we don’t need to be perfect to be Christians. What we need to be is respectful of the God who created us. And that means...being One with Him, and cherishing the temple within. Desire to be Christlike.

Did you know that WE are in the Holy Bible? Yup, a story about US!

We are all sinners! (Yup! Me too!)

Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God.

I may be a sinner, but I strive each and every day...to be a saint! With all glory to God!

And the Beat Goes On...

Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. ~World Health Organization, 1948

Months of Healing

I know as the tale moves forward, the beat goes on. In my head I hear the drums of the Native Americans, edging us forward to one more day of healing and we dance right along not missing a beat.

A lot of people have expressed amazement (even the doctor) at this wonder of wonders, the Blind seeing again, and how proud must that doctor feel, knowing his was the hand chosen by God to bring forth this miracle. He probably doesn’t see it that way, because he is a man of science after all, but we know, as the journey moved along, we were being led and guided by a higher power that man can not ever explain.

Now it seems everyone thinks it is 20/20 onward and upward. Well my friends, it is a little  more than blink and all is well in the household. He gained sight from the moment the bandage came off. What did he see? Blur. Point blank, blur. But he SAW a tree and cars and colors, all things he had not seen for two and a half years.

The next day it went from blur to a smudged blur, and that is why we’ve had so many trips to Omaha. But by Mondays visit, the blur is improving. The doctor has him on many eye drops and anti-infection meds, he MUST sleep with the patch on at night possibly for a few months. And he can not lift anything over five pounds! AND he can not play his saxophone for a month or two. What? No SAX??? Oh, that will surely put a damper on the Christmas party, but like I said, “You’re family will much rather come to see you SEE, than to see you PLAY!”

All of this activity has really drained the both of us. As much as you’d think he’d want to get out and go all around seeing people and just run here and there, it is all draining, not just on me, but mainly on him and all that the brain has to take in. His brain has been through a marathon of vision and sights and while he gets his rest, each day out is like a new marathon, a marathon everyone wants him to win, nobody more than himself, but still, a tiring marathon.

So, as we take our breaks, we need respect for our space. There is months of healing to take place and I imagine it’s not going to be easy around any corner we turn.  Everyone wants a small piece of him and he’s more than willing to give and share, but I do believe he likes to breathe in between. And hey...I could use a nap too. :)

Thank you for understanding.

The wings of hope carry us, soaring high above the driving winds of life. ~Ana Jacob

A Good Report

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say "thank you?" ~William A. Ward

THANK YOU!

Well Sunday was a morning of praise then the usual coming home to make a nice breakfast for us to share, then football.

I’ve been so busy and lost in thoughts these past few weeks I find myself on a path in the woods, trying to find my way back and I feel that only a night under the stars will bring me back home where I need to be.

Monday I rose and took Adam to school where he had a power-point presentation for his art class. He wants to be a graphic designer and this year is about honing that talent he has. I support him all the way because I don’t believe that it’s all about sports, or taking the trash out and all the mundane things Adam does do, it’s about ART, and that is where I need to focus on him at.

Tuesday was the Lions Club attendance. They got to see where their dollars went in bringing about this miracle. Yes, all glory was given to God, but when people shell out money, they want to see where it has gone and the fruits of their labor. All were pleased to see a walking, talking man that could now SEE them and shake their hands. We left at six and arrived home close to ten. They had a meal and then the meeting, so we stayed for it all, and afterward pictures for the newspaper. They deserve bragging rights because they were pivotal in seeing this through.

Wednesday we found ourselves on another trip into Omaha. We had all our help to get us to the operation but we’re on our own now that we’ve had four trips since then. It does cost gas money and we do need to eat. We made it in good time even with the wind knocking us around a bit, and it was supposed to be rainy but we just had clouds the entire seven hour trip, except for the last ten miles as we neared home.

The doctors words were, “Remarkable healing.” I even heard him say, “Amazing!” once, so that is all good! Those words mean we won’t see him until November 18 th and that will be right here in Kearney. :)

Then there’s me. Yeah I am in here somewhere. My mouth is still sore, I have a hard time eating, I think I have a pinched nerve somewhere causing my limbs to feel numb, and Sunday’s church visit found me stumbling to the ground because my ankle just gave out on me completely.

All this has taken its toll on me and I just need some rest. Sitting out there reading this is the easy part, living it and going through all these changes is another thing. A struggle to find your place in it all, and I know...I’m in here somewhere.

Thank you Mrs. Carol, Mrs. Sue and Jess who all have been a rock solid supporting shoulder. And to everyone else who has supported ME, through this. I send big hugs and thankful prayers. THANK YOU ALL!!!!

Angel always...Godspeed...

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Prologue to the Journey Part III

 I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.
***

We were basically forced to move to Nebraska, Stevens hometown, in April of 2009, after for me, six years in Texas with him.  I say forced because the cost of living is much higher in Texas, and we had read online that medicaid was available to the blind.
 

Never trust what you read on the internet because medicaid was only available as long as he collected SSI, not SS. Don’t ask about the terminology. That is not the story here. The story is that the Lord saw to it we had a place to come to, at an affordable rate. His family all pulled together, cleaned this place up, scrubbed, and washed nooks and crannies, prayed and asked for prayer and our Maker never let us down.
 

We arrived to a clean house on a Turkey Ranch, out in the middle of nowhere, basically. We had food in the pantry and an envelope of money from the Gibbon Baptist Church’s donation for our family in need.
 

First on our list was to find a good church and after three attempts at different Churches, we walked in the doors of EFree Evangelical church and had to look no more. We had found a home.
 

Stevens sight deteriorated from the first step into the house. It was as if God waited for us to get here, and then the sight disappeared. We had support from the Federation of the Blind. They wanted him to go to Lincoln to learn to BE blind, and we both were adamant in stating that this was only temporary. And they quickly bowed out seeing we were, uncooperative (their term), But not after introducing him to the JAWS Screen Reader.
 

Quickly he found a free screen reader that was easier for him to use than JAWS and since he was extremely familiar with the computer and all the ALT keys, he had no problem enjoying the computer, via audio book reviews, and life as a blind man blogs.
 

Life for the next two and a half years was an up and down roller-coaster ride in the center of a raging thunderstorm. Pieces fell to the floor, parts were swept away, hair disheveled but upon landing in March 2011, we began to see things take shape and that everything wasn’t as messy as we thought.
 

Medicare came through, medicaid came through, the doctors visit was promising and hopeful from the very first visit, and things just kept going as an assembly line of chocolates, each day we found a sweet surprise and hope awaiting us.
 

We were going to need $3000 dollars, gas for the trip to Omaha, food and shelter, but by the time the surgery was scheduled, EVERYTHING was paid for! The hospital, the doctor, the food, gas AND the shelter! That alone made me stand up and say, “What an amazing God!”
 

Now for the more amazing part. We went to church on Sunday before the scheduled trip to Omaha. We wanted a powerful send off in  prayer and we got it. The trip was wrought with rain and wind and I thought that the day was an entire bust. But we got to the the hotel without a problem, Monday he got the corna transplant operation, Tuesday by some strange powerful force, we found ourselves at the doctors (after getting lost for an hour and almost giving up) but the moment we all waited for had finally arrived.
 

“I can see.” As  a river of tears flowed, and emotions soared, we were on our way back to the hotel and a couple of days of discovery and exploration are truly in store.
 

Tuesday, Steven saw the house that he has lived in for two years, for the very first time.
I have experienced a miracle first hand and our lives will be forever changed.  All praise be to God!

As we head back to Omaha today because of a problem we go with God, the love of many and the POWER of prayer!!!
 

Matt. 7:7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: