January Second Blank

Rom. 3:23 “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

January Second

Today, my insomniac husband slept while my insomniac son wanted to come to the house and do his laundry. I prepared to get ready for my day of Physical Therapy. Now my sessions are getting more interesting with learning new things that I can do. I walked up a step last week and tested the use of a cane, instead of the walker or wheelchair. I passed with flying colors if I do say so myself.

Today I showed my son my ability to walk from one end of the room and back using just my cane! I used to think the cane made people look at me and judge me but now since my vanity has been shelved, I walk with my head held high using my cane. Not walking for three months makes you appreciate every step you’re allowed!

I love hearing the excitement in my son's voice when he says, ‘Wow mom, that’s awesome!’ Or ‘This is great, look how far you’ve come!’ I never realized how much I loved the praise but it does motivate me to keep going on and do one more thing different each day! Thank you, son! Now I somewhat understand why God loves us to praise Him, it motivates Him to do one more thing different for us each and every day.! 

Today, I made two laps around the PT gym. It’s not a big place but the laps were enough to cause me to break a sweat because I had done other exercises also, like the step up, step down exercise. I don’t think you realize how for granted you take a simple step! Whether it is a step to walking, a step leading into or out of the house, or a lazy walk to the kitchen! Appreciate every step because one day when it is abruptly taken away from you, you’re not always given a chance to regain what was lost. 

An open path leads to steps you’d might otherwise miss. Keep your eyes open for God’s mysterious ways. He has a tendency to use the weak and broken, not the pomp and arrogant. Be humble, friends.

May God bless the journey He has planned for me this year. May I be motivated to keep my chin up when it gets trying, and I remember to love when I see so much hate. 

The path I'll soon walk again!

The Bridge to Healing

Image by R.J. Hembree

used with permission

Psalm 27:7,9-10 (NIV)

Hear my voice when I call, O LORD; be merciful to me and answer me. ... Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior. Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.

The Bridge to Healing

I look toward the end of the bridge and am shaken. I fear heights and have been over bridges like this in the past only to be shaken by a mean brother who loved seeing fear take hold of me and watching me cower on my knees, afraid to venture to the other side. When faced with a challenge, as a child, I often cowered, trying to wear a brave face.  When bullies attacked or when shame surrounded me like a little girl standing in the center of a cornfield, I would panic, shake, then drop to my knees, or run for my life.

I learned the hard way that you can't run forever and you also can't run over the bridge, unless you're a fearless soul. I'm not fearless, I'm human. I see this long bridge as a path to healing, fear on either side, but the beauty that lay up ahead when healing is complete. My journey with this disease began in confidence, fear was far from me as I started the trek across the sturdy wooden bridge. Then it hit me almost a year into my confident walk, I looked down instead of ahead, midway across the bridge.

I looked forward, I looked behind me, I was shaken and stirred as if someone was with me on the bridge trying to throw me from the path that I was on. My hair swirled around me as I kept looking back and forth, confidence stored in the clouds, fear in the rushing waters below. I was frozen. Mid-December I became less and less confident, my pain rose, my ability to focus waned. Surrounded by positive and negative vibrations, all meshed together and I was cowering in the center of the bridge, halfway to my destination. How could this happen, how could I lose the very confidence I started over the bridge with, what happened?

I know what happened; every pain, every lump and bump were echoing sounds from below in the rushing river. I looked over the edge and it crumbled me as it had in the past. I was staring death straight in the face, in my mind. I couldn't let go, no one was there to save me. No one was there to rebuild my confidence. Prayers continued for me but I felt that they were too far away for me in the trembling of my knees.

Then I remembered the clouds; the clouds that lined the end of the bridge, that feathered over the sky as protection from the baking sun. What I was seeking was not below in rushing waters, in echoing fears, in rocky mountains, what I was after was the healing that only my God above could restore. A month, two months passed and I was growing weary just crumbled in the middle of the bridge, I needed to rise and peer at the sky and remember the reason all of this took place to begin with. 

Someone walked onto the bridge in a tip-toe fashion and handed me a cane then went on to the other side where they stood motioning me forward. Me, I was slowly rebuilding confidence, my pain was easing, my knees more steady as I stood and began to take a step toward the end of the bridge. I was powering onto the finish line where friends were now cheering me on. The fog had lifted and I could see their faces at the end of the bridge. Looking around was no longer scary, it was becoming a part of the journey, it was fine tuning my eye to the promise of healing.

The cane slowly slipped from my hands as I was no longer in need of the crutch. The worn wood no longer held slivers of fear between them, they held solidarity in my foothold. The end looked like the promise I was guaranteed by the Lord Himself. The sky held beauty and with each step, I went forward to the healing that all were anticipating.

Moral of the story: Don't let fear stop you from moving ahead in your journey. Don't let the vibration pull of positivity and negativity own you and blanket you in fear. Grab hold of the reins of confidence and drown out the rushing waters below; listen to the sounds hidden in the clouds that only a fined tuned eye can see and ears can hear.

Ez. 12:2 “Son of man, thou dwellest in the midst of a rebellious house, which have eyes to see, and see not; they have ears to hear, and hear not: for they are a rebellious house.”

Joni, The Rocky Champ

James 5:16 KJV “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

Joni, The Rocky Champ!

I must admit, I feel a little guilty feeling so good. I saw my sister-in-law, yesterday on the 6th at my niece’s graduation and she said after looking me over with a broad smile on her face, “You look great!”

I responded with, “I feel great! You wouldn’t know I have this dreaded disease would you?” 

The place we were at was a pretty big place with thousands of stadium style seating. It had an elevator to accommodate people or an open-aired staircase which allowed people to ascend via the stairs. 

Fear gripped me when I saw all of those steps, but seeing the family and their faces, telling me they’ve been praying for me made me feel ‘flighty’. I felt as if I could accomplish anything. So when my husband asked if I wanted to take the elevator, I boldly stated, “NO, I’ll take the stairs.” 

My other niece, daughter of my s-i-l, my mother in law, an uncle and I and hubby all began the ascent. Step, step, step, step I went, keeping pace with the floods of people in front and behind me as well as my niece and s-i-l. My sister in law gazed over at me at me keeping up with her and said, “Go Joni!” A platform then twenty more steps I went! I heard my husband behind me saying, “Show off.” Jokingly of course because all were quite amazed that this little woman who used to walk every step on a flat surface in pain, cringed with every hug because of my back pain, dreaded going to the store because of my pain, was now the Rocky Balboa of Nebraska ascending the stairs like a champ! 

Yes, I did a little fist raise at the top of the stairs, through panting breath I exclaimed, “I DID IT!!!” I was more raising my hands thanking the Lord for the strength than I was thinking of Rocky. But yes forty-some stairs and I made it. (Keep in mind the steps it took to get through the parking lot, to the front door, to see the stairs.)

While I felt I had the strength of a thousand men behind me, I looked at the stadium style seating with exasperation and fumed, I cannot go DOWN all those steps. Uncle said, “Why because you just made it up all of those steps?” A little out of breath I stated, “That, and my fear of heights!” After a little chuckle we found seating at the top and found they were pretty comfortable heavily plastic seats, not the bleacher style seats that we faced at a previous graduation two years ago, where I had been in so much pain, I had to leave the event and wait in the car.

Not this time, this time I was a champ! And to think I was hesitant in even wanting to attend the event. But my niece was graduating. This little lady has spent eight years trying to get this diploma to be a nurse. The course was full if I remember correctly when she first signed up and she was put on a waiting list where she tried to wait patiently. In the meantime she took on three jobs to fund her schooling, working at nursing homes and other duties of the field to prepare her for this day. She found the most money-making job in delivering pizza’s believe it or not.

I was hesitant in attending mostly because I would have to face many family members that I haven’t seen since my diagnosis. I prayed of course for guidance and God always tells me, “We got this!” So again, I took His word and barreled on. I didn’t attend the after party where too much food would be that I couldn’t eat. But we came, I conquered, and I felt GREAT! I made sure each and every one of them knew it too!

The other reason I was hesitant was my bladder. A forty-five-minute drive? Could I make it after having two cups of coffee and some water? Guess what people, I made it!!! We sat through an hour of the diplomas being handed out before I made my way to the restroom to relieve my bladder before venturing on another forty-minute drive home!

I’ll have to admit, I’m pretty amazed myself! When God said He was healing all of me, He meant it! He’s not laying down on the job expecting me to do all of the work, nope we’re a team! I’ll climb those stairs as long as He fills me with strength! I’ll bask in the sun as long as my friends and family are behind me cheering me on, I’ll continue on this promising road as long as God allows His Light to shine through me! Yesterday I was living proof for all of those who needed to see, SEE!

All Glory and Praise to Him on High!

Praise be to God!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 KJV “Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

AMEN!

Spring Has Sprung

Pss. 9:1 “I will praise thee, O LORD, with my whole heart; I will shew forth all thy marvellous works.”

Spring Has Sprung

I almost had to put my two fifteen minute walks on hold a couple days because of the toxins in the fields. The farmers are out spraying and readying their fields for planting. What do they do to ‘ready’ the fields? Their big diesel fume-filled tractors roll out fertilizers and pesticides. No mask is going to disguise THAT poison. 

But it’s okay, I have plenty to do around the house to keep myself busy. Yes, I love this time of year, out with the old, in with the new! So much so, in with the new, new supplements arrived. And I took a walk, a twenty-five-minute walk instead of my routine fifteen-minute walk because I took my dog and she wandered off and I wound up going to find her and it led to a twenty-five-minute walk. 

I’m enjoying walking up the steps again, one by one and not holding the railing! For four years it has been dragging foot, step step. I couldn’t put one foot in front of the other to get up the steps but now, I’m feeling so great I can now walk up steps again!

If any of my daily readers remember before the ‘C’ diagnosis, I had suspected that I had MS. No definitive proof except for my google research.
A recent article by Dr. Mercola has led me to believe even further that yes, I have MS too. 

If you read the article you’ll see that MS is a chronic, degenerative disease in your brain and spinal column. It is an autoimmune disease, which ironically beside being treated with dire drugs; holistically it is treated just like cancer, through your diet! The exact same diet I am on now to beat the ‘C’!!! That is why I am walking better, my balance is improving, and I feel good all around. God is not healing just a portion of me, He is healing ALL of me!

Ninety-five percent of calories in our daily eating life are from processed foods. Our bodies were not designed to eat GMO's, artificial, and processed ingredients. This is why the nation is so full of sickness. We’re are raising mutant children who are being raised on eating toxins and we’re okay with that?

It’s quite hard to pass up that sticky bun in the donut shop window and even harder to pass up when you have a screaming whining kid who you know will shut right up with the ingestion of sugar. So you eat the bun to relieve your stress and give the child a bun to keep him in good spirits. 

Imagine sugar as a drug, are you going to allow your kids to be raised on drugs? Processed foods? It seems I myself was raised on fats and grease because our lovely government takes it’s good old time in giving a nation, the world, the truth about the harmful elements that they themselves approve to be released to our families. Do the research.

When are we going to wake up and stop the basic annihilation of our country? Or are you already on the train of bodily degeneration that you can’t hop off at the next stop? Are you so conditioned at eating unhealthy weight-gaining substances that you’ve lost the willpower to fight?

I don’t know if you understand that God, the very God you put your faith in, gave you the tools to fight any and every illness that attacks you. Our immune system was as intricately built as our DNA strand! We have the tools to fight but daily we are bombarded by the enemy and all of his detrimental attacks on the very systems in our body that God built, and that is via our diets!

If you believe in God, then you must believe in satan. You must be able to fully comprehend how both work. For one, God is not sitting up there in the sky on big white puffy clouds, and satan is not sitting below with a pitchfork waiting for you all to arrive. BOTH are IN YOU! Yup, right there in you!

You might be saying, ‘nope, satan isn’t in me, I have God in there’, while this is true, if you are overweight, you have been ingesting satan for years and not even aware of the force and power that got you where you are. Sugar is the enemy, drugs (legal or illegal) is the enemy, alcohol is the enemy. Understanding where the enemy is inside you might help you fight him off. Remember what satan offered Eve in the Garden? It wasn't a pork chop, it was a SWEET DELICIOUS forbidden fruit! (No, fruit is not the enemy, SUGAR is.)

While we have an epidemic of obesity, people would rather fight the epidemic of suicide rates and ignore the obese nation. While cancer is at an all time high, people would rather walk for more research for finding a cure instead of diving in and SEEKING a cure. You see what I’m saying? The enemy is inside you, distracting you from the REAL healing of your body. The REAL truth you hold. 

Justification of why you are the way you are is not a truth. Satan is literally sugarcoating the truth for you, so you believe him. We ALL are victims, yes even the devoted to God crowd, we’ve been duped by satan for generations but we don’t call it that because it makes us feel safer if we just say, ‘oh, I have bad eating habits.’ 

While I believe physicians have a true place in this world healing, I also believe the majority of them have been overrun by satan also by using drugs and money to feed their profession. They are not concerned with HEALING you, they are more into drugging you and pacifying your problems so you need them, your insurance, and the pharmaceutical companies for the rest of your life. Do you not see it happening worldwide? 

You are never too old to continue learning! After my diagnosis, I dove into research as if I was writing a novel. Hours upon hours clicking this, clicking that, watching this here, and sinking my teeth into something there. Eight weeks later I am empowered! I’m moving ahead and still foraging the field of knowledge that will lead to my HEALING, not to my succumbing to man, satan, drugs, and doctors. 

Spring has sprung and I have a new bounce in my step; new words to share, a new message received and new love to be spread. I kept hearing over and over that it’s all downhill after you hit fifty years old. I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be, it can be all uphill if you nurture the willpower inside of you! God Bless each and every one of you to be empowered! 

Prov. 1:5 “A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:”

Change

2 Cor. 3: 18 But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.

Change is washing over me. I feel as if I’m standing under a waterfall and the Light shining in every drop of water is infusing into my spirit, changing me. I’ve been through these instances in my life many times, as you can imagine, but this one is stronger and the water more forceful.

Much of it began ten years ago when I took the leap and left all my belongings behind, my past was left there and I rarely look back.  Then Grace happened in the following years. Not only the Grace of God (through Roundgrove UCC) but Grace Church happened. Adam was an instrument used by God to get us to attend this church and our lives have been in a spiral of change ever since.

Then a few weeks ago I felt as if something was missing in my life. I was feeling unuseful, for lack of a better word. I was feeling like I was just here going through the motions of life and not really taking any steps to change. Then the step happened, physically and spiritually, and then it was all climbing uphill, one step at a time. I prayed, as usual. My prayer? Make use of me.

We were at church a few weeks ago and our pastor informed all of us that there was an Efree website set up where all of us members could be in contact with each other, tidbits about the happenings at the church, post prayer request, or offer to pray for someone.

Thus began a moment of change. I had joined a prayer group on Facebook quite a few months ago (5 or 6), asked to join by a sister in Christ. I leaped at the chance to be able to bow my head in prayer and lift people up through Christ while doing so. I take prayer very serious, as I know that mere words are not enough. Prayer is the healing medicine that the Lord rains on individuals. I’ve experienced the healing so I know of a prayers worth.

1 Kgs. 8:28 Yet have thou respect unto the prayer of thy servant, and to his supplication, O LORD my God, to hearken unto the cry and to the prayer, which thy servant prayeth before thee to day:

Prayer is more than a word. When the church offered us the chance to be Prayer Warriors for our body of believers, I felt like God was answering my prayer. I now felt useful, maybe not in a physical sense, but He was using me spiritually to pray for people in need.

2 Chron. 6:40 Now, my God, let, I beseech thee, thine eyes be open, and let thine ears be attent unto the prayer that is made in this place.

That was my binding decision in changing my blog name. With the old name, I didn’t feel I was being true to myself and to God’s intention for my life. One step, one change, and thus the flowing of water began.

Do you ever feel like you’re in a rut? Same ol’ same ol’ and nothing is happening? You’ve asked for prayer but just don’t feel like they’re being answered? Have you tried changing something spiritually about yourself? No? Then this is why you feel nothing is working. You need to be open to spiritual change, drastic change, to EVER feel the rushing water flowing over your entire being.

Try it. Get back to me and let me know how it worked out for you.

This from another friend about my writing of the poem, ‘Free’: “Such a beautiful witness, Joni. I'm humbled that I could've somehow provided a bit of inspiration for you to pen this testimony to your salvation! God bless you.”

I do believe I’m finally doing what the Lord intended.

 

John 4:23 But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him.