A Work Of Art

God's Painting

Luke 3:22 "And the Holy Ghost descended in a bodily shape like a dove upon him, and a voice came from heaven, which said, Thou art my beloved Son; in thee I am well pleased."

A Work of Art

I'm going to go out on a limb here and call myself a work of art. As a matter of fact, each and every one of us is a masterpiece in our own right. When we were created, we were not painted by the kindergarten class with our non-toxic paints and fat paintbrushes. We were crafted by a Master artist with the finest paints and brushes and we, each and every one of us, were painted by an artist better than Michelangelo!

You see, when we were forming in the womb, God had a plan for his piece of art. It took him nine months to create the perfection He saw in us. He didn't just blink us into existence like a genie, no He masterfully created each and every brushstroke of our life and when we were born, He already saw the finished fulfilled work of art in its completion to the end, hanging in the Sistine Chapel. 

He looked at us and it was good! He knew every brushstroke our life would take. He knew the perfections and imperfections because He saw us up close and personal, not from the marble floor below. No, your mother, father and everyone else saw you from below the art. They gazed at you and saw a tiny infant seemingly perfect. As you grew, people saw you and studied you as a piece of art and came to a conclusion of what they perceived. But to God, you were still a masterful work of art in progress. 

If you say that God makes no mistakes, you'd be correct in your assumption. The imperfections I referred to was our free will. You see Adam and Eve were made perfect! A completely perfect work of art finished and drying in the sun. Free will was the last brushstroke in giving us a chance to assist with the painting. The reason we're not the creating artists is that we botch the job. Our free will leads us to the imperfections of our life, all of which God saw in advance when creating you but he is not in control of our free will.

I knew as I got to this point in my life I had done a bang-up job of this masterpiece. I didn't handle the brush with the gentleness and care of the Master artist. Not that I turned Michelangelo's work into a Picasso but I think sometimes I turned it into an Andy Warhol meaningless jumble of paint. But I digress, I'm still in the planning stages so the brush hasn't been whisked out of my hand yet. God sees a Van Gogh in me; a little loose around the edges but awaiting perfection.

I now see this illness as a chance to complete what was a little messed up. My mind, my body, my soul all are taking a little tender care of the flamboyant brush strokes that I let onto the canvas; I'm no intense chapel in the making, and definitely not in Vatican City. These illnesses I'm being faced with are all a part of the whimsical flinging of the paint onto a blank canvas, I'm now in the process of making some sense out of what I want this painting to be. I want people to look at me as a work of art, not perfect but worth looking at for hours on end trying to sum up a conclusion of what they see and are going to walk away with.

Each day I wake, after thanking the Lord for another day to open my eyes and gaze at the canvas, I stare in awe of what has the potential to be a worthy piece of artwork! My writing, my healing, my poetry, my muse all are forming an exquisite piece of artwork ready to be hung in a gallery among the greatest artists who ever lived. 

I'm not standing here and proudly boasting of a swelled ego, I am an artist sharing with you my vision of just where this completed work will stand in the end. The gates of heaven have the potential to be open for me and the gallery of brilliant colors of a reflected prism are at my fingertips. I am a light-bearer, I am a shepherd, I am not here to tell you where you've gone wrong, I'm here to tell you what went right. You were born! You were created by a Masterful artist that saw all of your potentials and now it is time for you to take control of the brush and complete the painting that was begun when you were born.

We've all made mistakes! And if you're over the half-century mark, you are now in the final stages of completing your masterpiece. Are you going to finish up by botching up the canvas? Or are you going to make the necessary changes that need to take place to see you too entering the gates of heaven, or do you even care and are just happily strolling along in life not caring where this journey ends? My friends, take care of the work of art that is you. God did all the hard work and now He hands you the brush to take care of the finished product that will hang on the walls of Heavens gallery someday.

May the blessings of the Lord our God be with you today and always!

Citizen Of Heaven

Philippians 1:29 “For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for his sake;”

Citizens of Heaven

This morning as I was reflecting on my bible emails, something in one email jumped out at me, citizens of heaven. Long story short, we are basically citizens of heaven being immigrated to earth. What we portray to the world should be our heavenly realm residing in us but so many times along the route are people born of the earth and of the earth, they will return.

I have a friend who recently moved from one side of the United States to the other side of the U.S. Along the journey of moving he snapped beauty-filled pictures along the way to show everyone his daily travels. Basically, that is what happens to us after we’re born, we have mentally taken pictures along the growth route and display them for the world to see.

I have some friends who were raised by the mother and father love, some where only the mother was around, and some who were abandoned at birth and left in an orphanage. Some had seemingly perfect lives while others struggled to live. I have a bountiful of friends who’ve had a religious upbringing while others were made to fend for themselves in finding anything to do with God. 

I, as usual, was of the weird background. I went to a Catholic school, had a mother and father present, but was basically on my own in declaring any semblance of a heavenly citizenship. I came from a somewhat big family of six but as we grew we dispersed never really knowing what it meant to be bound to each other. We’re a family in name only. Funny how emptiness works; you’re raised in a full family where nothingness dwells and emptiness is the return deposit you get.

I see other families having ties that bound them as parents and siblings and often wonder what on earth did I miss? How did my travels go so awry? Why are the images that I snapped of the negative format and why didn’t they turn me into a negative person?

While some people might look at me now and think I’m Miss Perfect, I am as far from perfect as you can get. I am bruised and battered, shattered and broken just trying to glue some of the pieces back together so I can be rid of a disease that tries to eat me alive. I am excess baggage on the carousel of life.

I am still on a writing hiatus but occasionally I get the urge, like today, to just write out my feelings that will get me to the next leg of this journey. My snapshots are few because you can only take so many images of wind, cold and rain before realizing the breath of life is dealing you a gray bleak reality. I think spring is on hiatus too as it dished out a blizzard on April 18th with horrendous winds. The lack of sun, the absence of new life, the longing for any kind of outdoor activity has put a damper on my new year. A month into spring and all I see and feel is winter. I will not see anything remotely related to spring until June. 

No matter how hard I try to put a positive spin on my heavenly world, darkness creeps in trying to strangle what light I have left in me. Like a child tiptoeing down the stairs at Christmas; I’m always surprised by what is or isn’t under the tree. Snapshots become bitter memories. My journey isn’t a pretty bouquet of joy and happiness.

1 Chron. 29:15 “For we are strangers before thee, and sojourners, as were all our fathers: our days on the earth are as a shadow, and there is none abiding.”

I feel as though I’m a citizen of heaven with a temporary passport, dropped off at the airport with a sign saying ‘family’ and seeking out a family, any family that will say look there she is, let’s bring her home! The airport empties and I’m left sitting, sometimes playing on the baggage carousel just to get someone to notice that I’m still here with the sign in my hand. 

Someone comes and picks me up saying, “I can use a new piece of luggage.” And I’m carried off to a new home a new life, but still holding the sign. I must’ve stayed on the carousel too long because now I’m dizzy from going around and around. A kaleidoscope of images fans out but to the eye, they are jumbled gray clouds.

I live in a state where the majority of youngsters here are desperate to get away and move across the country carrying their baggage. They were born of the heavenly realm, raised mostly in the Bible Belt atmosphere and will show the world, the future, what shaped them. Some residents wanted to flee but instead stayed having nothing to show for their lives except a passive repetitious growth of snapshots hanging on the wall. Me? I was dropped off at the airport with a sign.

Some residents ventured away only to return because the big bad world out there was not all they expected it to be. Bon Bon's and cream puffs are a thing of the past. It’s as if we were taken from paradise and dropped off at the airport. Some had names of families that picked them up right away, while others were given a generic sign with hopes that someone would see them.

The projection of the heavenly realm escapes me as the pastures are covered in a somber tone of grayish-sage. The emotional baggage is heavy, carrying it around drags me down, and no one wants to be burdened by an orphan at the airport. While I may be a Citizen of Heaven, I’m a product of the earth.

Isa. 51:6 “Lift up your eyes to the heavens, and look upon the earth beneath: for the heavens shall vanish away like smoke, and the earth shall wax old like a garment, and they that dwell therein shall die in like manner: but my salvation shall be for ever, and my righteousness shall not be abolished.”

Quotation Saturday ~ Quotes of Billy Graham

Pss. 50:5 “Gather my saints together unto me; those that have made a covenant with me by sacrifice.”

The picture above was taken on a day filled with gray skies and snow. The sun was setting and popped out long enough for me to capture this image on February 21.

On February 21, 2018  the world lost a great man on a mission to do God’s work, Billy Graham. He preached the Word of God for over 60 years! He ministered to presidents and children, the rich and the poor, the sick and the healthy.
He was born on November 7, 1918 and passed away one year shy of 100 years old. 
When I was a child, my dad, a Catholic, used to watch Billy Graham Ministries on Sundays. He admired him from afar and that made me respect my dad even more. When I became a born-again Christian, converting from Catholicism, I felt safe walking toward the Light of Christ because I knew I always had one man whose word I could turn to and trust the Word of God from, Mr. Graham. Rest in the arms of the Lord, kind sir.

On Suffering:

“Comfort and prosperity have never enriched the world as much as adversity has.”

"Mountaintops are for views and inspiration, but fruit is grown in the valleys."

“When we come to the end of ourselves, we come to the beginning of God."

“Someone asked me recently if I didn’t think God was unfair, allowing me to have Parkinson’s and other medical problems when I have tried to serve him faithfully. I replied that I did not see it that way at all. Suffering is part of the human condition, and it comes to us all. The key is how we react to it, either turning away from God in anger and bitterness or growing closer to him in trust and confidence.”

“Believers, look up – take courage. The angels are nearer than you think.”

“Quit beating yourself up. We all live under grace and do the best we can.”

On his Home - Heaven

“My home is in Heaven. I'm just traveling through this world.”

 “Heaven is full of answers for which nobody ever bothered to ask.”

“God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.”

“The moment we take our last breath on earth, we take our first in heaven.”

“He lives in the hearts of those who trust in Him. Our confidence in life after death comes from these very truths.” 

On Jesus:

“God proved his love on the Cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, ‘I love you.’”

“Christ not only died for all: he died for each.”

“We say to our children, 'Act like grown-ups,' but Jesus said to the grown-ups, 'Be like children.'

"The only hope for enduring peace is Jesus Christ."

“Without the resurrection, the cross is meaningless.”

“The cross shows us the seriousness of our sin—but it also shows us the immeasurable love of God.”

“It is the Holy Spirit's job to convict, God's job to judge and my job to love.” 

“Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened."

On God's Purpose for Us:

“The will of God will not take us where the grace of God cannot sustain us.”

“God never takes away something from your life without replacing it with something better.”

“Take one day at a time. Today, after all, is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”

"God has given us two hands, one to receive with and the other to give with.We are not cisterns made for hoarding; we are channels made for sharing.”

“The happiness which brings enduring worth to life is not the superficial happiness that is dependent on circumstances. It is the happiness and contentment that fills the soul even in the midst of the most distressing circumstances and the most bitter environment. It is the kind of happiness that grins when things go wrong and smiles through the tears. The happiness for which our souls' ache is one undisturbed by success or failure, one which will deeply root inside us and give us inward relaxation, peace, and contentment, no matter what the surface problems may be. That kind of happiness stands in need of no outward stimulus.” 

On Living with Eyes Fixed on Eternity:

“I've read the last page of the Bible, it's all going to turn out all right.”

“There is nothing wrong with men possessing riches. The wrong comes when riches possess men.”

“If a person gets his attitude toward money straight, it will help straighten out almost every other area in his life.”

“The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.”

“When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.”

“Knowing we will be with Christ forever far outweighs our burdens today! Keep your eyes on eternity!”

“World events are moving very rapidly now. I pick up the Bible in one hand, and I pick up the newspaper in the other. And I read almost the same words in the newspaper as I read in the Bible. It’s being fulfilled every day round about us.”

On Loving God and Others:

“It is the Holy Spirit's job to convict, God's job to judge and my job to love.”

“A real Christian is the one who can give his pet parrot to the town gossip.”

“Sin is the second most powerful force in the universe, for it sent Jesus to the cross. Only one force is greater—the love of God.”

“The framers of our Constitution meant we were to have freedom of religion, not freedom from religion.”

“They asked her (Ruth Graham) did she ever think about divorce and she said, ‘No, I’ve never thought of divorce in all these 35 years of marriage, but,’ she said, ‘I did think of murder a few times.’”

“Our society strives to avoid any possibility of offending anyone – except God.”

On Preaching

“We are the Bibles the world is reading; we are the creeds the world is needing; we are the sermons the world is heeding.”

“I have never known anyone to accept Christ’s redemption and later regret it.”

“Tears shed for self are tears of weakness, but tears shed for others are a sign of strength.”

“Being a Christian is more than just an instantaneous conversion – it is a daily process whereby you grow to be more and more like Christ.”

"The message I preach hasn't changed. Circumstances have changed. Problems have changed, but deep inside man has not changed, and the gospel hasn't changed."

The story does not end with the cross, for Easter points us beyond the tragedy of the cross to the empty tomb. It tells us that there is hope for eternal life, for Christ has conquered evil and death and hell. Yes, there is hope.”

“Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we have done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values. We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery. We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare. We have killed our unborn and called it choice. We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable. We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self-esteem. We have abused power and called it politics. We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition. We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression. We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment. Search us, Oh God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free. Amen!” 

Rev. Billy Graham

2 Cor. 13:13 "All the saints salute you."

God Is Not Silent

Pss. 28:1 “Unto thee will I cry, O LORD my rock; be not silent to me: lest, if thou be silent to me, I become like them that go down into the pit.”

God Is Not Silent

It is so easy to see God as the silent type when suffering is at your doorstep and you’re begging for help that never seems to arrive. You ask for prayers to be answered, you’re pleading for compassion for your cause, you implore Him to come and relieve your stress but all seems lost and broken. Prayers are hanging in the balance as you impatiently wait for a response.

It is during this time when you begin to doubt and fear whether God even exists and hears you. It is during these times of slow-moving molasses you let fear trickle into your thoughts. Sometimes you see me as a strong woman barreling through doubts and fears but let me tell you, I have days when I too say, My God my God why hast though forsaken me?

Zech. 2:13 “Be silent, O all flesh, before the LORD: for he is raised up out of his holy habitation.”

Let me just say up front, I never doubt that God exists or fear that He’s not hearing me. I know He exists and hears me but for brief moments like when you’re waiting for honey to drip, by the time the drop makes it to the intended place, there’s a smidgen of Him just seemingly letting you fall on your face.

I know it seems like He’s silent but I also know from experience this is when He is doing His finest work. It’s me who feels I’m not patient enough, or I feel insignificant but rest assured, with every breathtaking sunrise He lets me know He’s there, listening and working for the greater good.

Job 4:16 “It stood still, but I could not discern the form thereof: an image was before mine eyes, there was silence, and I heard a voice, saying,”

When I was first diagnosed with the disease of a lifetime, I prayed like never before. I begged and pleaded for a miracle that never came and I know full well because I was praying for a whoosh of a magical wand and the reappearance of a normal looking breast and all of this would be whisked away and put into the bad memory box.

God is NOT Merlin the magician! Did He just whoosh Jesus’ suffering away? And here He was God in the flesh suffering bleeding, begging, pleading. Jesus died. While this very well could be my fate, I don’t believe for one minute God is silently planning my demise. He could have had me go the slice, dice, chemo method but that song was not my dance. That was the dance for millions of other people.

He also could’ve just taken me right away, why give me a warning and a chance to change? God works in mysterious ways and while we’re straggling along in a world of distractions, He’s not being silent. He is busy at work preparing the entry of billions of souls to His banquet, in His time, not our time. A legion of Angel’s awaits our arrival and the song of the choir will ring out for us to dance among the stars.

God was not silent when Valentine was imprisoned then beheaded. He allowed such a horrendous physical act to take place because it would one day be a day cherished for all of the love that Valentine brought to the world. Valentine would be remembered for hundreds of years for his earthly love! God is LOVE!

My hope is that God is not preparing me for such a horrible death but for a wonderful life of endurance, patience and beauty that will be carried into the future of those who remember my time here. My prayer is no longer for myself, it’s for the people who need to see, this day and age, that God is never silent. Oh no, He is very much alive and busy at work!

He could’ve given me an instant miracle but what would I or anyone learn from that? He needs the world to see that there are steps to take, patience that is needed, endurance and unfathomable strength to make it to His bountiful banquet. 

He has me writing, teaching and learning at the same time as you. Although He could at any given moment pretend to be a magician for those who need instant gratification, once again, God is not of the fantasy world and He most definitely is not a magician.

Do I paint a grim picture of a punishing God? A God who wants to see you suffer? You’re wrong. Like your very own mother and father, do you see them as the punishing, child-reprimanding beasts that you saw as a child? I know children of an abusive background might see their parents as demons incarnate but the majority of people reading this right now all have been chastised as a child. We were not created as instant all-knowing adults, no, we had to grow and learn from our mother, father, and our surroundings to be who we are today.

If you look at the grand picture, we were once seeds! Watered and nurtured, pruned and snipped, given the right non-toxic fertilizer to bloom and grow. There were times in our life where we didn’t receive enough sun, we were stunted by toxins, and left to learn before growing again. I can’t paint a more poignant picture than that. 

God was not silent then and He most certainly is not silent now! As I endure another day filled with supplements, a disfigured image in the mirror, and a strict diet that will save my life, you might ask, is all of this worth it? And I will say to you now as I did in the beginning, every day I get to see another sunrise is worth every step I take in the ballroom dance of life as I head to the eternal banquet of souls waiting to greet me. YES! Every struggling pain-filled step is worth the enormous abundance of LOVE that I have the pleasure to partake of!

All Glory to God in the Highest! 

Touch the Spirit

“‘You are the God who sees me,’ for she said, ‘I have now seen the One who sees me.’” Genesis 16:13b (NIV)

Touching the Spirit 

Well, it seems to me I’m an odd one. Why not when I think I can touch the Spirit. What you say? We’re used to just basing our faith on things unseen but what is this touching the Spirit?

My dear friend said: “We can lay our hands on spaceships, and books, iPods and plastic bottles, and we cannot touch a Spirit. HE can touch us, but we cannot touch HIM. So there's always that point of disconnect. Always that feeling of being out of step because the God we trust on we cannot touch with our hands, see with our eyes, hear with our ears.”

Gosh, when I read that my mind went exploring! It drifted off to the time I DID touch Him. I touch Him often and I assumed everyone else did also. I know after you read what I say you’ll say, Oh that, that’s not the same. It is very real to me. It is what makes me an oddball in the crowd. It makes me the crimson in a sea of yellow. 

Just so you know, while I can physically touch an iPod, I never have, the same goes for a spaceship, but my heavenly Father, oh yes, I’ve touched Him; my fingers brushed his robe, my hand held his hand, my arms wrapped around Him in an embrace but in Spirit form, it is like hugging liquid.

Ezekiel 1:26-28 “Now above the expanse that was over their heads there was something resembling a throne, like lapis lazuli in appearance; and on that which resembled a throne, high up, was a figure with the appearance of a man. Then I noticed from the appearance of His loins and upward something like glowing metal that looked like fire all around within it, and from the appearance of His loins and downward I saw something like fire; and there was a radiance around Him. As the appearance of the rainbow in the clouds on a rainy day, so was the appearance of the surrounding radiance Such was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD And when I saw it, I fell on my face and heard a voice speaking.”

I think maybe first you need to understand who and what He is. God is Spirit not a man, not sitting up on the puffy white clouds. God is not hiding from us in the shadows, He is in plain view for all of the world to see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. When you stop seeing Him as ‘up there' sitting on a majestic throne in the icy sky maybe then you can intimately feel that He is within, without, He IS dwelling in every living thing. 

Psalm 139:7-12

"Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will lay hold of me. If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night," Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day Darkness and light are alike to You."

I think what makes me an oddball is that I believe and always have known I have more than five senses. Yeah, that just makes me weird that way. I think when you’ve died twice and then came back to wander among the human species you feel just like the astronaut who has been taken into space then brought back here to live out the duration of your life on earth, except one thing, when you die, you touch the Spirit realm.

When you touch a point of light and it streams through your fingers like liquid in your hand, or when you listen to music and it vibrates through your body like an electrical current surging through you, it is at those moments that spirit is passing through you. 

Take this statement as an example, “He can touch us but we can’t touch Him.” I mean no offense but that doesn’t make sense to me because my reality tells me otherwise. What is touch? Is it a physical, material object?

Acts 17:27-28 “that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; for in Him we live and move and exist, as even some of your own poets have said, 'For we also are His children.'”

When my mother hugs me, I feel her love wash over me like a waterfall. I live well over a thousand miles away and I can still feel her hug in her voice, I can still feel that love spray over me. It’s no longer physical but I can feel her and know she is there. God is no different in that aspect, He can seem far away but still be within me.

1 Corinthians 3:16 “Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?”

As assuredly as I can touch my arm, run my fingers through my hair, softly scan my face with my fingertips, I can feel Him there. God becomes physical when I allow my very fingertips to caress any material object that He created.

1 John 2:16 ESV “For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.”

The soil in my garden is dry and sandy. I tried many years to grow plants, veggies, food, but rarely did I get anything from my crop. I couldn’t afford to put rich soil in the ground, or fertilizers, so I had to trust the land to provide beauty for me because if the earth doesn’t provide then there is no need to plant. This year I threw my hands in the air and said I’m not planting and whatever comes up will have to be provided by God himself and I will tend the garden when it shows up. As you can see below, God showed up!

You’ll say when I tell you that my annuals come back year after year it’s because of seed drop the year before and you’d be right but still, my annuals sprouted from the ground and put on a display of beauty that I had no hand in except the watering of the garden. God touches us in the most mysterious of ways. The same can be said for us, we TOUCH Him in mysterious ways also but it is still TOUCH! 

When I stroke a leaf, I feel the swell of life surfing through my blood and I connect on levels most would never understand. The veins of a leaf are not much different than the very DNA flowing through the cells of my body. It is the sustenance of LIFE.

I think the problems with people are that they disconnect from God. They don’t see, hear and feel Him in everything. They place Him in a book, they shape Him into molds, and they form Him out of clay. He becomes a material when that was never His intention in ways to be among us. He is a spirit that dwells in us, the temple. When He looks at us, He doesn’t see us from afar, He isn’t out there in the world swirling clouds to make storms strike the earth because we were bad.

Storms form because of man's inability to restrain himself from filling the skies and land with toxins that create a mess in the atmosphere and a terrible storm is in essence, the clouds letting off backed up emissions, to put it simply, the clouds burp! 

2 Chronicles 16:9

"For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. You have acted foolishly in this. Indeed, from now on you will surely have wars."

Zephaniah 3:17

"The LORD your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.

When someone says to me that I cannot touch God, there is no way to humanly kiss the Spirit, I have to digress. Contact is in different forms not just by handling. That’s like saying a man with no arms can’t paint a portrait, I’ve seen it done. I wasn’t there for the act but I’ve witnessed the fact. I challenge each of you today to look for the Spirit WITHIN and embrace what has been there all along. He has never left you for one nano second so don't ever give up on Him. Seek and you will find.

Isaiah 52:10 “The LORD has bared His holy arm In the sight of all the nations, That all the ends of the earth may see The salvation of our God.”

Poetry Sunday ~ No Heaven in Hell

Pss. 139:8 “If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.”

No Heaven in Hell

*a repost from 2015

There is no heaven in hell

Only a place for sin to dwell

The liars charred in flaming fire

When hell becomes their one desire.

There is no hell in heaven

Souls transform like leaven

To rise above the earthly skies

Heaven gives home to the wise.

There is no heaven in hell

The hypocrites home a shell

Tears will be shed for the dead

Who dare not cling to the Bread.

There is no hell in Heaven

Unclean souls to beckon

Roaming through the stardust light

Bid the cosmos a sweeping g’nite.

There is no heaven in hell

The party’s over it's time to quell

Thirst you crave throughout the day

Allow our Lord to Light the way!

~ ~ ~ * * * ~ ~ ~

Isa. 35: 8-10 And a highway will be there;

    it will be called the Way of Holiness;

    it will be for those who walk on that Way.

The unclean will not journey on it;

    wicked fools will not go about on it.

 No lion will be there,

    nor any ravenous beast;

    they will not be found there.

But only the redeemed will walk there,

     and those the Lord has rescued will return.

They will enter Zion with singing;

    everlasting joy will crown their heads.

Gladness and joy will overtake them,

    and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

Illness Knows No Bounds

Pss. 67:2 "That thy way may be known upon earth, thy saving health among all nations."

Even the Healthy Get Sick

I just read an article about a young woman age thirty-two who was a vegan, health nut, she exercised daily, non-smoker in her prime, and she has stage four lung cancer.

I pretty much know how I contracted this disease, and knowing is part of the healing. But this young lady has no idea. She was doing everything right and yet, she was still hit by this disease.

To me, this is proof of the toxic world we live in. She ate the right foods, more than likely non-organic because organic is more or less a new thing. She didn’t smoke but was an avid jogger. I imagine the toxins she inhaled jogging daily was worse than smoking five packs of cigarettes a day. She washed her hair, probably dyed it too, she used deodorant and soap put out with chemicals in them. Then she probably drank water either toxic faucet water or water in a plastic bottle. All toxic.

When we think we’re doing the best we can for our health, we’re smacked with the truth that no, we are not doing everything that needs to be done to stay alive. We are not vigilant enough when it comes to our health. We’re vigilant when it comes to posting on Facebook, we’re active when something happens in our nation, we throw our support behind the wrongs and right of society but our health? That takes a back burner while we’re looking the other way, the wolf is sneaking into the den.

We have defiled God’s plan for man and beast!

Psalms 104:14 “He causeth the grass to grow for the cattle, and herb for the service of man: that he may bring forth food out of the earth;”

Did you read that scripture? At one time, it was the norm for cattle to be raised on grass, herbs were the source of medicine, and oils were the tincture they turned to. Now if someone says they eat grass-fed beef, they’re looked at as if they’re not normal. 

I love it when people say, “I’d die before I gave up ______.” Fill in the blank, is it beef, coffee, sugar? What would you die for before you gave it up? Think about that seriously. Because when death taps you on your shoulder like you’re given a life-altering illness, would you still rather die before giving something up? I wouldn’t rather die. I know some of my posts sound otherwise, but honestly, I do want to live and get this, I’ll DIE TRYING to live! How funny is that? (not haha, ironic)

I’m sure some of you understand the gamut of emotions I must go through in a day, a week or a month but the emotions don’t cling to me and shape my healing. I write about them good or bad, express the inner turmoil, have people nodding their head in agreement because they too are doing everything to stay alive. 

Often when I’m feeling my lowest asking the why’s I’m doing what I’m doing, I’m told from the higher ups that these struggles are to attain the home that they have waiting for me. It’s like they saved me a spot and they want to make sure I get there, but I need to run the race first.

We’re all in this race together. It’s like running a marathon; some are slow, some are fast, some drop out mid way, some collapse from exhaustion but there are a FEW who make the million-mile stretch to the end!

1 Cor. 9:24 “Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain.”

The Lord doesn’t ask us to give him half of our self, He’d like it if we gave it our all and submitted all of our self. I can’t hammer this truth home hard enough, our bodies are a temple, we should move full steam ahead in treating it as such. Why do we treat infants with gentle loving care? Because they are precious! Why do we tend our gardens with such intimate grace? Because more times than not our gardens are taking care of US! So why would you treat your body any different? Why are your health and life not as precious as an infant or a garden? Let me tell you, IT IS!! Treat it as such and you too will win this race before us. 

1 Cor. 6:19 “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?”

Perseverance

Proverbs 16:9 (NIV) “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.”

Perseverance

Diet and stress are my new high points in life at this moment as I persevere. I’ve deleted umpteen emails that are naggingly telling me what feeds this disease, what wakes up this disease, what to eat and when to eat. I’m now on the information overload of my system. Then this plant based diet got through to me. I took a deep breath and looked it over, not hating what I was seeing.

I want to try this diet but seriously, I’m not out for a diet based on what’s a good diet. I’m looking for sustenance in my health in healing this disease! Everything looks good except the acidic aspects of some of the foods. I just want what's best for my health.

July 25th will be my sixth-month mark since this diagnosis walked into my life like a volcano and erupted shifting everything in its path forcing me to rethink some things in my life, including the food I put into my mouth. I’ve badgered unhealthy eaters; I’ve even tried to twist some arms into change but then I came to an abrupt halt of my own hand pressing on my chest telling me to hold on now, STOP!

I don’t know if this is a bad habit or just a part of who I am but I always find myself worrying about everyone else but myself. Even now with this disease, I’m more concerned with those around me, their feelings, their eating habits, their unhealthy living.

When I say I’m done, I never mean it to be I’m giving up, I mean I’m done with everyone else! I’m done worrying about tiptoeing on their love or non-love. I’m done falling apart when my feelings are hurt. I’m done being something for all and nothing for myself. I can’t make people love me and that’s okay, I love me. I have to realize that I am the most important player in MY game of life. Actually, I am the ONLY player. 

Solitaire, it’s the game I’ve played all my life. Alone. Even with my most recent upset, I keep it to myself because when I share, I’m told what I should do, what I need to do, or I get silence, nothing at all. Yeah, I know it makes it hard to make a comment, but can’t someone just say something simple like, ‘I’m here for you’ and actually be there for me? I hear I’m here for you then don’t hear another word from them for months?

I’ve been wanting to write and post but really I’ve been writing and keeping it to myself because I’m virtually tired. I’m tired of all of the information, I’m tired of defending myself, and I’m tired of having to watch what I say. My son seems to think I have a lot to live for but quite honestly, I don’t see it. I might feel differently in a month or two but right now, I’m exhausted.

I have hope that one day, maybe when I’m gone my family and loved ones will FINALLY read MY blog, MY pains, MY thoughts and realize what they REALLY lost. I’ll tell them I hurt, they didn’t care that I hurt and were partly to blame for my hurt. I can’t be any more honest than that with myself. That is how I’m healing, letting go of the ones hurting me; even if that means the ones closest in my orbit who actually had the chance to love me but chose something else over me. 

Maybe being exhausted is a good thing because I can take the time to put things into perspective, see things from a different vantage point. It’s like looking out and knowing mountains are out there but not seeing them. It’s like driving to the mountains and finally seeing the glorious peaks and knowing the climb is the end game, not just observing beautiful mountains.

When I wake and ask God, what would you have me do for you today and He says rest, I want to give Him a Joni slap and say WHAAAT? But then I remember who He is and bow down and respond, Your will be done. Can I ever rest? Why do I feel like resting is giving up when I know it is just a pause in the machine I’m oiling. I have a little more work to do then…I’m done.

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow and she isn’t even a real doctor or anything, she’s a PA, a Physicians Assistant. What on earth is she going to do for me except reiterate why I need drugs and go the slice and dice method? That is what they are all programmed to say. I’m reading too much into the visit before I’ve even given the poor woman a chance. If she asks me what I’m doing, I’ll be honest with her and tell her, I’m choosing the way I die.

Don’t read more into that than I offer. I’m just not choosing to go down in a fetal position, in a hospice hooked to wires and drugs. I’m choosing to enjoy the Lord’s bounty of fruits and vegetables, His gifts to us and yet too many overlook because their eye is on the sweet, meaty prize, literally.

What I am doing and all that is left for me to do is prepare for my entry into Heaven and the walk that I look forward to. I seek that mountain with the snow-capped tops. I look toward the ascent to finally being free from the earth and all of the ignorance and disrespect strewed around like confetti on New Year’s Eve. When Jesus descended into hell, I just can’t imagine there is a place lower than this planet. I’m reaching for the summit in the sky…I’ll persevere here then move on to a place where I am truly loved and surrounded by love where ALL is love. I yearn for that. Peace out!

To God Be the Glory…

Pss. 37:37 "Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright: for the end of that man is peace."

Pss. 30:12 "To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever."

Poetry Sunday - My Gift To You

John 14:10 “Believest thou not that I am in the Father, and the Father in me? the words that I speak unto you I speak not of myself: but the Father that dwelleth in me, he doeth the works.”

My Gift To You

God asked me to use the talents

That He had blessed me with

The sharing of the Word I hear

The truth and not a myth.

I sent the Word into the world

A message delivered to me

It was a ripple on the lake

For all the world to see.

The words they entered in my ear

And out of my fingers bled

My gift of writing words to you

Is where my soul was led.

God was pleased when he saw

My talent not gone to waste

The gentle words about His Son

I fed the world a taste.

Some people sit idly by

Saving their earthly treasures

Their talents, gifts and so much more

With all their worldly pleasures.

Rise up you sleeping people

For the new world that awaits

The life that’s left behind you

As you enter heaven’s gates.

Poetry Sunday ~ No Heaven In Hell

Image by Elaine DeBoucher

Pss. 139:8 “If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.”

No Heaven in Hell

There is no heaven in hell

Only a place for sin to dwell

The liars charred in flaming fire

When hell becomes their one desire.

There is no hell in heaven

Souls transform like leaven

To rise above the earthly skies

Heaven gives home to the wise.

There is no heaven in hell

The hypocrites home a shell

Tears will be shed for the dead

Who dare not cling to the Bread.

There is no hell in Heaven

Unclean souls to beckon

Roaming through the stardust light

Bid the cosmos a sweeping g’nite.

There is no heaven in hell

The party’s over it's time to quell

Thirst you crave throughout the day

Allow our Lord to Light the way!

~ ~ ~ * * * ~ ~ ~

Isa. 35: 8-10 And a highway will be there;

    it will be called the Way of Holiness;

    it will be for those who walk on that Way.

The unclean will not journey on it;

    wicked fools will not go about on it.

 No lion will be there,

    nor any ravenous beast;

    they will not be found there.

But only the redeemed will walk there,

     and those the Lord has rescued will return.

They will enter Zion with singing;

    everlasting joy will crown their heads.

Gladness and joy will overtake them,

    and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

Feeling Sad

 Writing this, thinking of Christopher I look out the window and see this. 

Col. 3:15 “And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.”

A Sad Day

I could feel the sadness brewing at the beginning of the week but when Thanksgiving arrived it hit me like a Mack truck running me over, and my body left to lie on the cold concrete as the truck kept going. I always get sad around the holidays missing my family but it hit me harder this year I think because my one and only living son had to work.

I could feel the hustle and bustle coming through my screen as my days are not much more than sitting behind a screen writing my feelings down or cleaning and scrubbing the house to my liking as I prepare for the Christmas season. I just like a clean house so it tends to keep me busy on a daily basis.

It was 34 years ago on Thanksgiving day that I lost my firstborn son. I often think of what my son would be like had he been able to live in this crazy world. Sometimes I’m thankful that he didn’t have to endure years of pain with me as a failing mother and that he resided with his heavenly Father who would shield him from the world's animosity; it doesn’t hurt any less, after all, Christopher was still born!

It’s too long of a story to get into but the gist of it is, the sharp stinging pains started on Thanksgiving Day in 1982, and a doctor visit the next day confirmed my nine-month fetus was lying in a tomb, my body. A week would pass before the dead lifeless baby was delivered and it was one of those changing points in my life that affected me for life. 

Every Thanksgiving Day has been a kind of memorial day for me (no one else) when I think of that day. I don’t cling to the sadness just for that day but the days that followed leading up to Christopher’s birthday, December 2nd. This year was no different as my husband and I sat at an empty table alone, eating our scrumptious dinner that I was ever so grateful to be eating.

I consider myself to be a strong person but there are two days that buckle me to my knees and that is Astri’s birthday and Christopher’s birthday, my two angel babies that didn’t have work to do on earth but had plenty to do in heaven!

So maybe you can sympathize with me as I eagerly made the turkey, the mashed potatoes, yams, and dressing this year but the meal when done, would only fill my husband and my stomach. Tears streamed down my face during prayer as I was missing so much, feeling so empty waiting to be filled. This was Adam’s first Thanksgiving away from the table and I felt the emptiness in the core of my bones.

I watched as family after family rejoiced in spending time with one another. Picture after picture of sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles all gathering around for what was to culminate in a family tradition. Family time together, that is what Thanksgiving is to many people but I do know a few who celebrated alone and maybe no one offered a prayer for them (but me) because they were too busy being thankful for what was in front of them.

I think in some way I shaped my own family tradition of loneliness on Thanksgiving Day and not really understanding or comprehending what Family Tradition is all about. My family back home celebrated in their own non-traditional way. My brother invited my mother to his house, my other brother went to his families home, while my other two brothers and sister all ate alone, like me. (My one brother is homeless, the other alone in Tennessee, my sister's kids all ate at their friend's house, I guess, because tradition is not the norm for my blood family)

It’s pretty sad when you miss family because of a death and they’re no longer with you to celebrate, or you live too far away to get together for the turkey day celebration, but it is quite downright pathetic when you have a big uncaring family and you’re left alone on the holiday even without a simple holiday greeting of Happy Thanksgiving! Just so you know, *I* DID make the effort to extend a greeting to those blood family members who are my ‘friends’ on facebook. A huge family and two replies, wow that made my day.

Now my virtual family all replies when you say Happy Thanksgiving to make you feel like some part of their family and celebration; that takes the sting off of feeling depressed during the holiday. Had it not been for them, I would have probably spent the day puddled in tears, feeling hurt and throwing myself a pity party.

My writing break is not over yet but I just had to get this off of my chest and writing is my only healing spot. Thank you all for reading but most off all THANK YOU for allowing me to see traditions through your eyes and letting me know that families DO exist in the world today! Thank you for sharing you with me!

See it or not, this cross was for me. 

The Beginning of the End

Matt. 24:10-11 “And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another. And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many.”

The Beginning of the End

I don’t normally go off topic but Monday I did an NFL post about the entire franchise smelling like a manure farm. Today I’m not going too off topic but I rarely, meaning never, do a political post and this is more about the end being so close I can taste the bitterness swirling in my mouth and people need HOPE.

I’ve noticed that people who were all in and about the political arena, meaning friends, that sit back and use the social media as a political platform to state their views, have all but been silenced by the lack of someone running that they can actually get behind.

Now that it has been narrowed down to two people, no one wants to put their voice behind them for fear of being laughed and scoffed at in the social arena. Some are standing by their party; some are sitting quietly in the background picking on the other party, I guess so that they appear involved but from afar.

The entire fiasco reeks of the beginning of the end. Some will say the end has been happening for years now, some will state facts (chuckles) that they KNOW the end is here, where me, I’m going on my instincts and what they are telling me and it doesn’t feel right, I can tell you that.

A few years ago there was talk of Martial Law. I’m not a political person so I laugh at the mere mention but I do not laugh when all the scoffers are laughing at the Bible and calling it a book of fairy tales. 

I find it quite amusing that the non-believer can call it a book of fairy tales when I have never in my life read a book that has been so accurate in foretelling the future than the Holy Bible. There was 400 years of time that passed between the book of Malachi and the beginning of Matthew. Upon reading this (same link as above) you can see the ‘so-called fairy tale’ take on more shape and meaning.

Prophecy has been around for centuries and while some don’t want to believe that we’re living in the end times all they would have to do is read the Bible to see what prophecy says about the end times. While I’m not a prophet nor claim to be, I’m a writer and as such I dig and dig as I research a project to bring you the most informative (information I’ve gotten) information I find, and most of it agrees with my views. Granted, your truth and research might find something completely different.

Age of the Earth: 

Did you read the link – Temple Mount? I read the entire thing and this paragraph stuck out to me as what I am trying to convey here. 

“It is amazing how God utilizes history to work out his purposes. Though we are living in the days that might be termed "the silence of God," when for almost 2,000 years there has been no inspired voice from God, we must look back -- even as they did during those 400 silent years -- upon the inspired record and realize that God has already said all that needs to be said, through the Old and New Testaments. God's purposes have not ended, for sure. He is working them out as fully now as he did in those days. Just as the world had come to a place of hopelessness then, and the One who would fulfill all their hopes came into their midst, so the world again is facing a time when despair is spreading widely across the earth. Hopelessness is rampant everywhere and in this time God is moving to bring to fulfillment all the prophetic words concerning the coming of his Son again into the world to establish his kingdom. How long? How close? Who knows? But what God has done in history, he will do again as we approach the end of "the silence of God."”
~ Ray C. Stedman

We are at the most hopeless point in U.S. history. There has never been an election where BOTH parties were so unfit for the job they wish to undertake. Are we living in the Beginning of the End? Judge for yourself. In my opinion, no choice you make this election year is the right choice. God has purposed it this way and your vote is… the Beginning of the End.

May God be with you all!

2 Cor. 6:2 KJV  “(For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I succoured thee: behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.)”

2 Cor. 6:2 NIV For he says,“In the time of my favor I heard you,

    and in the day of salvation I helped you.”

I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation.

Shining Star

Rom. 2:5-6  “But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. God “will repay each person according to what they have done.”

Shining Star

I go out back of my house on any given night to look at the expansive sky. I see a massive amount of stars shining like diamonds glistening in the sand. I live out in the middle of nowhere so my world out here is blanketed in a crisp clear view of the cosmos.

Dark matter tries to swallow the big exploding balls of gas but it doesn’t always win in the destruction of the beautiful force of light. This is how I see life nowadays. I see streams of light trying to hide from the dark matter but there is a Black Hole that people seem to live in shedding off all their matter in the cosmos and drowning out the shining stars.

“A Black Hole is defined as a region of spacetime from which extremely strong gravity prevents anything, including light, from escaping. We know that matter falling into black holes is no different from the matter which can be found lurking around the rest of the Universe.”

This is what earth has become; the inhabitants are like a Black Hole failing to let any light escape because I believe the earthlings are here to deplete the living of any oxygen. And sadly, they are okay with this mass destruction. Thank you political aficionados of the world. You have destroyed any chance of survival and if you foolishly think ‘not in my lifetime, kiddo’, you are sadly mistaken.

You know, the problem arises when I try to post a news source, it doesn’t fit your PC worldview. Is it left, is it right? Either way, it is going to be deemed wrong. If I say UP you say down, if I say Light, you say Dark and the world spins and spins by this widely accepted rhetoric and I truly want off this merry-go-round.

FACT: Really read this from NASA!!!

“A black hole is a place in space where gravity pulls so much that even light can not get out. The gravity is so strong because matter has been squeezed into a tiny space. This can happen when a star is dying.

Because no light can get out, people can't see black holes. They are invisible. Space telescopes with special tools can help find black holes. The special tools can see how stars that are very close to black holes act differently than other stars.”

From ME: Humanity is a Black Hole, a place where negativity pulls on the human psyche so much that it doesn’t allow a morsel of light to shine from within. Because the Light is buried deep in the depths of you, it can’t get out. People would need all six of their senses to really see this Black Soul but know, when people are fed your negative vibrations they begin to act differently (you fill them with hate) than the ones who are REALLY Shining Stars in the world, emitting light and making it through far away from the Black holes of space. 

I can’t be a part of your vortex of hate.  You [society as a whole] say just live life to the fullest! Laugh, drink and be merry. Life is too short to be anything else. This sounds all well and good but how on earth can you live life and be merry when you know the world is going to deplete you of oxygen and you’re going to stop breathing and become a rotted corpse sunk into the earth?  

Oh wait a minute, you have a getaway ticket to the Castles in the sky with a doorway to Heaven open to YOU because you are just so special! You did absolutely nothing to obtain the ticket, you just know your thoughts are going to carry you away into a space after your last breath is taken away from you on this planet.

I read a facebook page called, Too Young to Die, someone from back in Baltimore started the page and people go there announcing who in the ‘neighborhood’ died. They utter words like, “Now they’re angels in heaven, sitting around with [such and such] drinking all the brew they can.” Talk about an oxymoron! Heaven + beer, the only time I heard the two together was in a song ‘In heaven there is no beer, that’s why we drink it here.’ Sad isn’t it?

What a warped image people have of Heaven. Druggies actually think they’re going to heaven to continue in their drug addiction (or beer, or wine) but no, my image of heaven is not one of drugs and people sitting around a big party. That’s like saying in heaven Mother Teresa is sitting there beside Hitler. Think about it, or not, just live life to the fullest and worry about heaven when you get there, or seconds before your last breath.

I know, people are wondering why I’m thinking about heaven. Well, to be honest, I’ve always thought of heaven, maybe that is why my faith grew and grew because heaven was always on my mind, getting there or not getting there. Would I be accepted or shunned? Would I be laughed at or welcomed? Would I ascend or descend?

Maybe the longer I steer clear of the toxic people who show their TRUE colors that no one wants to see, maybe then I’ll be able to put the shine back in my posts and allow the shining star that I know I am on the inside to break through the black hole of society.

While they can play with their faith, play the good guy then the bad guy, then bask in hate and anger and vengeance maybe the world will see what they are doing. I feel I’m alone in this stardust. We’ll see after I give myself more time to heal from this fiasco of a world. I WILL come out SHINING and still love myself when I look in the mirror. 

Isaiah 61:10 “I will greatly rejoice in the LORD, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels.”

The Truth Hurts

Gen.1:1 “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.”

The Truth Hurts

Well, yesterday was a good day even with summer rearing its ugly head to let me know it hasn’t gone too far away. Sometimes summer does that, it holds onto the season until the very last day and sometimes longer not wanting to let go and release the cooler temperatures of autumn!

After a quite refreshing couple of days in the fifties, eighty degrees raised the bar yesterday. Sure I stayed inside and did my work but I could feel the warmth tapping on the closed windows wanting to heat the house. Then last night we had a thunderstorm that washed away the heat in a light show beyond comparison. Flashing across the sky, lightning lit up the south, west and northern portions of the sky, the strobe light blinked in red and bluish hues. 

You could say I got a wake-up call yesterday in speaking the truth, right or wrong? I called my mother like I normally do at the same time every evening. I was in a relaxed mode as we had settled in to watch our movie but I pause the movie every evening to call my mother back home.

I could sense harshness in her tone but I shrugged it off as the conversation continued. She had said that she had a bad day, I knew what that meant but I prodded for more info and maybe I should have just ended the call by saying maybe a better day tomorrow but  it’s my mother, I needed to know if she was okay. 

A little back-story might help you with where I’m going with this. My mother lost her best friend, her husband of sixty years and she misses him intensely! A bad day means she just sits there thinking about him, his illness, his hospital stay, and most heart-wrenchingly, his death. As is to be expected, she has her good days and her bad days.

It hurts me to no end that I can’t be there for her but my calls have got to be enough at this juncture in my life and MY healing. She went on how my sister took her out to lunch and a little shopping. I know it’s good for her to get out and that is her healing mechanism, to shop. It always has been.

She told me about a book she read (this is where the conversation went downhill) about a young boy who died and went to heaven and came back and told this story of meeting Jesus in heaven and his deceased sister (that he had no knowledge of before the coma). The story Heaven Is for Real is the book she was referring to. 

She went on to tell me that because of THAT book she believes Heaven is for real and that ‘I’ should read the book to see for myself. I told her I READ a book that tells me heaven is for real called The Holy Bible. She retorted, “Oh, I’m going to read that one too.”

But then her tone became one of anger and she started berating me, “Why do you always have a conflicting response? Everything I say, you always try to correct me!”

Calmly I spoke and said, “I think I need to call you tomorrow.” I was not going to allow her bad day to leak through the phone and cause ME to have a bad day (too late) also. It already had in ways you don’t want to know. 

Was I wrong in telling her the truth? Should I let her believe Jesus is up there with a rainbow crown prancing with unicorns? Was I wrong in directing her to the bible? Should I let my mother holler at me like a two-year-old because she is grieving? I did and ended the call and afterward, I cried.

I told my son what had happened because he had overheard me, after talking to my mother, very loudly vocalizing my hurt from the phone call and then suffering a chest-tightening anxiety attack. 

His response? “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” 

Yeah, I spat that at him more times than once, now it was his turn to fling those sentiments at me. Boy, I'm batting a thousand in the feel good vibes!

I explained to him that I respect our difference in beliefs; I don’t force my belief on him, I already lost that battle and he is his own person believing what he wants. But no one wants to respect MY beliefs. So now here I am…

Tears roll down my cheek as I wonder if all of this is in vain. Am I writing the truth, yes I know it is MY truth, to believers or non-believers? Do the non-believers think I’m an overbearing, pompous, bible thumping donkey? Do believers believe the same truth? Prayer…lots of prayer time for ME coming up in the following weeks, I’ll let you know how it turns out.

I know grief has no time limit. I understand the mourning process. I have lost all four grandparents (not the same as a husband), I’ve lost two children (not the same as a husband), I’ve lost a father, along with aunts and uncles to illness or suicide (not the same as a husband); so maybe I don’t understand my mothers’ grief. Maybe it IS normal for her to buy my father's cologne so she can inhale the fragrance he once wore. 

I don’t understand the loss of a husband and truly hope I don’t have to ever cross that bridge but one thing I AM certain of is Heaven, FOR ME! I’m not certain if my father is there, I don’t know if my mother will wind up there, I don’t even know if I’M going to end up there but… I DO KNOW HEAVEN IS THERE! I will strive to reach heaven, long for it, and always feel it within my grasp. 

Maybe I should just shut my mouth and stop my fingers now.

Matt. 18:3 “And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven."

Peeve Of The Day ~ "Just Get Over It."

1 Pet. 4:12-13 “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”

My peeve of the day? People minimizing pain.

“Just get over it.” 

“Suck it up, buttercup, life goes on.”

Yup, those words right there grate on my nerves like screeching nails on a chalkboard. Telling someone to just get over their pain, depression, or anxiety, whatever burden they bear or cross they carry is minimizing what they are going through on a daily basis. 

If you’ve been through the depths of hell and have come back to tell the world about your experience that’s just great, you’re the one human God has chosen to break the gates of hell but if you’ve suffered in similar pain as someone else, don’t minimize what they endure daily by telling them to just get over it because YOU survived a similar pain.

You don’t know the pain someone is going through unless you’ve walked in his or her shoes and I’m pretty sure no one has walked [metaphorically] in another person’s shoes. No, we are on our own path in life and while you may have comparable pain, similar circumstance, identical health issues, you need to know that the person enduring the affliction owns what is happening to them, it can’t be borrowed or stolen it has to be LIVED.

Offering sympathy is one thing but comparing your incident with their daily struggle takes away the healing that they have in place and the prayer that they utilize by making their illness seem like they will just ‘get over it’ when that is not the case at all. They need time to drink in the healing that they are going through so they can make plans for what they need to change (if anything) and possible routes they might take.

Can you imagine if we were all on the same exact journey? Life would be no fun that way and would we all arrive at the same destination? Of course not. Just because the journey was ‘similar’ does not mean they are the same. Life is like that sometimes, we all think we’re headed to heaven but we do nothing in our life to get us there.

Reading and believing the bible isn’t going to get you there. Attending church isn’t any assurance that heaven will be your end destination. People tend to be misinformed when they think that the outward appearance of being a Christian is going to get them into heaven. 

All Christians may ‘appear’ to be the same but that is the farthest thing from the truth. We all are different in our journeying path but the one thread that unites us in a genetic strand of life is the blood of Jesus Christ running through our veins. 

Our disability isn’t what bonds us together. Our illness doesn’t define who we are in the living world. Our outward appearance isn’t the link to an eternal heaven. The only thing from the physical realm that is universally ours that we carry into the spiritual realm is LOVE. Love binds us all. Without love, the path will lead straight to hell and there will be no coming back to tell us about it on twitter, or facebook or through images on Instagram. 

So before telling someone to just ‘get over it’, or to pray more, hope for more, be more to the world; dig into the depths of your soul and find the love that lives there. When you want to hate…find love. If you feel the need to compare…do it with love. When you find a burning fire in your soul…douse the flames with love. 

Love is one of the hardest paths to journey on. You might think it is a simple task but tapping into the well of love on a daily basis is a struggle we all must face. You can give someone directions but that doesn’t mean they’ll follow them. Just as life and the trying storms we muddle through; we own our journey, it is ours alone. We might all strive to get to the same destination but we’ll all take different routes to get there.

May the God of love bless you all!

1 John 4:16 “And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.”

Amen!