Monday, October 24, 2011

I walk alone...

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."
- Douglas Adams

In writing, it is kind of hard to focus when insanity rears its head. Sure the folks can pretend to be writer’s but really they are just fooling themselves. The writers that I admire most are the ones who keep their sanity in check, learn and progress at a normal pace in their writing careers, and the only insanity can be seen from their families by way of, “What! Are you crazy?”

I realize they walk alone. They surround themselves with like minded people and the crazy ones, they surround themselves with the gibbering fluctuating frenzy of madness. I realized these past few weeks as the clique isolated me from themselves, the reason they pushed me away, it wasn’t my ‘craziness or madness’ it was my sanity. I’m sane and in the clique, there is no room for sanity.

They throw pity parties, they float in jellybean madness, they gossip like the wind, they toss around God like he was a joint to pass around; they can always be seen huddling around, supporting one another but in the end, they get nowhere except where they began, in the white room.

This all has certainly been an enlightening experience, and I’m glad for it because it peeled those out of my life who were bringing me down.

“People too weak to follow their own dreams, will always find a way to discourage your own.” Author Unknown 

This is true because as I sat getting pelted by ignorance, I realized those folk are weak and just needed someone stronger than themselves to sling mud at. Sure I got mud in my eye, but I’ve moved on to where I can finally focus more strongly on REAL writing, not the circus atmosphere; I seek the pleasant Shady Brooks atmosphere.

Ok, Shady Brooks is a place in my mind where water ripples downstream, I create the illusion of the rainbow permanently above my head inspiring me to move forward in life, sitting on the edge of the water with my notebook in hand. No laughter, just the rushing water, wind-chimes off in the distance and me sitting there, alone, awaiting sanity to brush my face and as they slowly appear, I realize, they are all new people, that have entered my life and are lifting me to the heights that I need to be.

Thanks for the memories my fellow writing friends. You carried me to the hot air balloons lift-off and now I must soar. I’m going to new places to meet new people, and you all will just be a memory. A bad and a few good...but nonetheless... a memory.

1 comment:

M. SUE said...

Shady Brooks sounds like a place I used to know. I am so glad you have that spot to call your own!
As in the past, I have told you, you are a teacher. The recent distractions (my word, probably not yours), seem to have drawn your focus from what you do best: teaching. Please don't let that happen.
When John was a beekeeper, we learned a most valuable lesson: when a bee buzzes you, the absolute worst thing you can do, is to swat at it. Perhaps the same lesson could be applied to those you find fitting the discouragement quote?
Just thinking~and thinking some more~
There are those of us who want Joni the Teacher back!
M. Sue