These clouds explain what my body feels like
Job 14:22 “But his flesh upon him shall have pain, and his soul within him shall mourn.”
My friend posted an MS fact-check list, a slightly humorous take on what people endure and how misunderstood the disease is and compassion should be thought of before judging people with MS as just ‘dumb’. I have never thought that my Lower Lumbar Facet Joint Arthritis was so similar to MS and now I’m rethinking if I should be checked out. I think there is only two or three on the list that isn’t me but maybe I miss the signal?
I do not take meds. Having never been diagnosed, I self medicate with holistic healing and Vitamin B12. That’s been working for about three years now. I wonder now how much longer…
While I don’t feel I have MS, the symptoms are eerily close to what I suffer with every day.
“The cause of MS largely remains a mystery, even though the disease was discovered in 1868. Researchers know the nerve damage is caused by inflammation, but the cause of the inflammation is still unknown.”
~ The Heathline Editorial Team
20 facts about MS (Multiple Sclerosis)
** Fatigue – I’m always trying to work through fatigue. Just a shower is scary and exhausting.
**Walking Difficulties – The insulting remarks of ‘your so young’ hurt. Yes, I am young, I didn’t ASK to be ill. I didn’t insist on the inability to walk. And I’m NOT OLD! Show a little compassion.
**Spasticity – No this doesn’t mean I’m a spaz, this means my illness wins the majority of the time.
**Numbness – Again, insulting remarks of ‘You’re numb’, hurt. I take it to heart. Yes I am numb. While you can feel your fingers and toes, I really need to be careful because scalding myself is a real threat.
**Vision Problems – Again, people make remarks ‘that comes with old age’, if they knew what I suffered with DAILY they might understand that it is NOT OLD AGE! Driving does not feel safe so you, the ‘other’ driver, should be glad I recognize my inability to drive the same road as you.
**Dizziness – The pity look doesn’t help. Yeah, I’m sorry this is happening but don’t look at me with pity, try understanding!
**Bladder – Some days are better than others, be glad.
**Cognitive Difficulties – I’m not old! This happens to people with MS and I relate to what they are going through.
**Pain – I occasionally take generic Naproxin and it helps a little. Meditation helps more. I’m glad I learned that skill when I was young. (there) Apparently our nerves are misfiring sending mixed signals to our brain.
Swallowing Problems – no. But don’t ask me a question while I’m chewing.
**Heat and Cold Intolerance – A little understanding goes a long way when I pass on an outing if it is too cold or too hot outside.
**Speech Problems – While mocking my wrong choice of wording, understand the cognitive energy it is taking for me to even verbalize a complete sentence.
**Emotional Changes – Maybe it is NOT PMS! It is NOT pre-menopause/menopause! Did you ever think I’m having a hard time dealing with my disability as much as you don’t like seeing a vibrant, beautiful, YOUNG woman wobble across the floor?
**Itching – My goodness. The numbness makes me itch! Once I start, I can’t seem to stop.
Tremors – no, but I do have a lot of eye spasms.
**Breathing Problems – I get out of breath very quickly. Reading out loud is a chore in itself.
**Hearing Loss – Not LOSS, but the ringing, fluttering and the feeling I’ve been swimming all day creeps up on me but it does go away.
*Sexual Problems – Life is not all about sex!
Headaches – not many
**Seizures – I don’t have the uncontrollable jerking kind, I have lapses of consciousness where it feels like I’m daydreaming in a world that is spinning. Or the jello legs. I’ll be walking and a nerve just sends my ankle bending. Sometimes I catch myself, sometimes I fall.
#10 - Swallowing and #19 – headaches - are not on MY list. I do feel as the years go on I will add the other two and maybe possibly become wheelchair bound. Many people don’t see me in a wheelchair so they just assume ‘I’ll get better’. I’m going to do more and more research on this and I have to thank my friend for posting this on his facebook wall. Maybe he didn’t know why God led him to post this but let me assure you, as I read, I cried because of the realization that this is me. I didn’t cry because I was sad that this was me, I cried because it opened my eyes and made me see me for who I am now, and I accept this, I just wish everyone else did too.
5-13-15 Wedding Day