Thursday, September 16, 2010

In a rut...

Matt. 17: 20 And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.
Ever hit one of those bumps in the road where your writing takes a back seat to your reality? I’ve hit one of those. I want to write but the rut is keeping me from doing so.

With dental visits for my beau, an impending eye doctor’s visit in Omaha, the tension that the Lion’s Club is putting us through, Adam being bullied at school, all of these instances in my reality is keeping me from writing anything with substance.

I was going to say writing is like a river, it just flows on and reaches no end. That isn’t necessarily true. It flows but then sometimes it finds itself washed up on the beach sinking into the sand absorbed or evaporated. What’s up with that?

Maybe writing is like a pool. You know, a pool that sits there and awaits a refill upon evaporation? You need to keep refilling to get any pleasure out of the fullness of the pool, right?

Then there is the analogy, writing is like a tree, it grows and blossoms each year with new life and fervor, only hindered by say, a wildfire?

These are not good metaphors. Maybe it’s just a peek of negative things that have been going on that are trying to weedle its way into my writing. I’m always a positive thinker so I know this is just what it is, a rut. The jagged little ugliness that wants to hinder my life when all I really need to do is pull out a shovel and bury the pebble in the road. And a little pebble is all that it is.

Did you ever notice that these little pebbles can really hurt when tread upon? It’s not like a boulder, hindering my path. This is a daggum pebble that I will toss in that river and watch it make ripples for a ways out. Flee you pebble! Get out of my life and give me back my sanity!

The Lion’s Club, who said they’d pay for my beau’s operation to see again, has now backed out. The Lion Lady is going to approach a different chapter and ask them to help. Why is it so hard for compassion to overflow so one man can see again? Pebbles are not only in MY path, they seem to be making their way across the paths of many, hindering them in the way that they want or need to go.

When God said that we have the power within us to move a mountain, I have to say, I feel like a living breathing testimony to that fact. Every mountain that stands in my way, I tell it to MOVE and other opportunities open up before me. Not just me, this isn’t a me factor, this is for EVERYONE!

So dip into the pool of words and pull out your sword and breastplate and armor yourself for a battle like no other. And when you need to get out of a rut, you stand firm in your belief that this pebble,  this mountain will move out of your way, and it will be so. All in God’s time! Remember that. This isn’t about our plans, this is about God’s plan and HIS time!

Even in my rut I produced five hundred and some words! Hmm... the mountain has moved. *deep sigh*


Yvonne said...

I'm sure you already know about these organizations, but just in case you don't, have you contacted the Federation for the Blind, the American Council for the Blind, or the Lighthouse for the Blind? I honestly don't know if they can help you, but they might offer some support.

Keep writing through these experiences. You have a wealth of homeschooling experience and there are several HS magazines that pay for articles.

joni said...

Thanks Von! :)

We've been to every federation there is. lol The thing is they only help the blind. My beau has the chance to see again and they want nothing to do with that.
I'm keeping my hope alive! Gosh, I wonder how people of no faith even get by in this world. :)

I'm taking all the moral support I can get! Like I said, this is just a rut, no problem! :)

Thanks again! It is much appreciated!

June said...

Been there....And there will always be ruts and mountains. They make us STRONGER as we move them. :)

You're awesome, Joni!

See? Whenever you write in SPIRTE of that rut, you and the world - WINS. :)

joni said...

It's ironic. I feel like I'm in a rut, then I write over 500 words and then some. :)'s just a 'pause'. lol But rut sounds cooler.