Matt. 5:6 “Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.”
My Lil Primrose
It’s been a little over a month now since my diagnosis of the illness. January 25th will be forever etched in my mind but as February 25th came and went I almost forgot it had been a month that had passed and seemed like this crud had slithered into my body quite some time ago.
Well, actually it has resided in me for quite some time. The lump became known in December of that terrible year of 2015 that I had three deaths in the family, including my father. It was a tiny and small lump and I paid it no mind thinking it was just a cyst of some sort. They happen sometimes when you’re pre-menopausal.
Everybody says don’t go to google, so I didn’t because google searches always lead to death in some way, so I steered clear as I mended from the losses. I knew the lump had to be taken care of but it was not in my hands, God held this the entire time and made the moves necessary for it to be diagnosed when the timing was perfect.
People probably wonder if I feared the imminent diagnosis and I can say, no, not really. I’m sure some small part of fear was lurking in there somewhere but when you’ve overcome so many hurdles like I have in my life, you kind of pretty much place the fear in God’s hands, have faith and trust Him with where everything goes.
What I do fear is a system that tries to force their self-righteous indignation down my throat. A friend reminded me that I am doing battle with worldly-minded people and it hit me, that’s exactly what these doctors are, worldly-minded trying to push their worldly beliefs on me, the weak at the moment child of God. I stood up, looked in the mirror and repeated what I said to myself out loud, “I AM A CHILD OF GOD.”
I remember a couple years back when I had to have my teeth pulled and the dentist gave me nothing for pain and no antibiotics to go home with to care for myself. He just told me to ‘gargle with salt water and let the body heal thyself’. Kind of shocking, eh? A doctor who don’t believe in pacifying his patients with drugs?
This was around the time I was diagnosed with lower lumbar facet joint arthritis. I believe this was the time that the c-cells were awakened. No, I’m not one hundred percent sure, they could have been triggered by the loss of my daughter thirteen years ago and they just slowly progressed to where I was most weak. All my research this month has pointed to stress and fear being underlying culprits in the c-cells stretching, yawning, then attacking! A one-two punch, so to speak. The above link is an informative six-part series on healing cancer.
Throughout these years, I’ve been healing, growing and mending. I’ve grown in my faith, become stronger in my belief, and held fast to the garments of Christ's robe dangling in my face as I crawl toward Him to get one gentle touch.
I’m reminded of the temptation of Christ where Jesus was being tempted by satan. He offered him the world, just like my doctors are offering me, life, a precious few years added to my life if I walk with them and go to their healing place. This diagnosis is my temptation, this is where they instill fear in me so I walk with them, but no, I am reminded of Jesus’ words.
Matt. 4: 1-11 “Then was Jesus led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil. And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred. And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread. But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple, And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone. Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God. Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them; And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me. Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve. Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.”
As everyone knows me and who has read my blog over the years, they know I’ve done a Lenten series. This year I was distracted from that with this illness but lo, look at the past month. I have somewhat been forced to fast; no carbs and no sugar. I am being weakened by the doctor's dire prognosis, but I AM STRONG, I need you to know that THIS is my temptation! This is satan trying to lure me into his pit and my only strength is coming from the spiritual family that God has chosen to surround me with prayer at this time and Jesus Himself being the only set of footprints I see on the shore of healing.
Primrose. You may remember a month ago my mother-in-law coming out to see me; she was bearing a gift of the primrose plant. It was a sad little plant wilting and hanging low. My MIL informed me the next day that she was sorry the plant looked so sad and she’d have to replace the little fella. I told her not to worry about, this lil guy was going to be just fine!
Each day as its leaves curled and petals fell from the stem I tended the small tender plant with sunshine, love, and care. As I write today my lil survivor is now the beauty I knew it would be. He overcame the sadness with love and care and now has NEW flowers to show me as it basks in the Son!
My visit to the Dollar Store this weekend found me purchasing a door hanger that said,
“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.” I BELIEVE in tomorrow!
God bless each and every one of you as you are faced with your own temptations and know that the Lord your God is with you all the way!
Matt. 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.”