Gateway to Health: Meditation

John 15:5, 7, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing … If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” (NIV)

Gateway to Health: Meditation

I’ve covered a lot of ground with my Gateway to Health series. While I weave in my illness, it is not the central focus as last year. I was finding my feet for the year and needed to throw the journey out for my spiritual family who is standing behind me with their support. Their support means everything to me as I heal. I’ve shown you how your diet and change all leads to healing not only for me fighting the Big C but for you who might be fighting another form of illness.

Here’s a simple thought for you; if you’re overwhelmed by stress you will NOT lose any weight no matter how hard you try changing your diet and lifestyle. Stress hormones have a nasty habit of programming the body to store fat, especially around your beltline.

According to the statistics floating around out there on the web, chronic stress is the root cause of 90% of your disease and weight gain. Stressing and worry cause us to blindly eat, turning to sweets or alcohol to try and soothe what is in our overactive minds. Anxiety robs our attention from all of the good energy that we used trying to change and makes it so by the end of our busy day that we have nothing left to motivate us into continuing our healthy eating habits.

There is some good news people, you can unleash years of stress with meditation and restore some semblance of peace to the body you overwork with a kaleidoscope of thoughts. Relaxation of the mind will allow you a better nights sleep and essentially allow you to be strong enough to face the changes you're trying so hard to implement into the new you as you embark on the Gateway to Your Health! Meditation has helped me throughout my life and has been an essential part of my healing this current illness.

Put quite simply, meditation is breathing, releasing and focusing. I assume people hear the word meditation and think that it’s not within their belief system as only Buddhist adhere to meditation. You would be 100% wrong in that assumption!

1 Tim. 4:15 “Meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all.”

Pss. 119: 99 “I have more understanding than all my teachers: for thy testimonies are my meditation.”

Meditation is a relaxation technique of the mind. It knows no religion or belief system. It takes practice but as you master stress releasing, you’re guaranteed a new way of thinking, a promising way to fall asleep, a comforting woven blanket of protection when you’re cold. 

People often say they don’t have time to learn meditation. That is so ironic to me because they can find hours upon hours to sit on the computer searching news, spewing hate, being a part of a collective conscience of similar minds achieving nothing of quality in their day, yet they have no time to meditate to de-stress their mind? Ironic.

You have time to read your bible right? You have time, maybe an hour or two to read a book on your Kindle? Find time in your day to just release the stress, relax and breathe. Nothing else. No clouding thoughts allowed into this room. You’re emptying the closet of all the unneeded baggage you have piled up. Slowly cleaning out piece by piece each article that holds your attention during any given day.

In a sitting position, back straight, ears plugged as you close your eyes, listening to the sounds streaming in from your earphones, let the days clutter float away. Visually watch the garbage be carried off. No thoughts of bills or what you’re going to do tomorrow, or what’s for dinner, or worry or stress is going to surface. Nope, all those thoughts are not allowed in here. You are going to think of NOTHING for ten, twenty, thirty and eventually forty-five minutes. When you do this as a daily routine, a relaxing habit you will form and look forward to at the end of your busy exhausting day. 

Life WILL change. You can’t give up because meditation didn’t work the first time. You’re going to push on, days into weeks, weeks into months will have you cherishing this one quiet time in your day. You’ll come home after a long hard day at work, settle into the sounds of nothing and wonder why you haven’t done this for years. 

Rom. 8:5 “For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.”

If you meditate on the word, a change of your perception will take place as your negative thoughts turn into positive. Your pessimism will be shifted into an optimistic approach to life. If you meditate to music with no lyrics, tones, and beats with no instruments, all are part of a meditative technique. Close your eyes, breathe and focus on nothing but the sound coming through your earbuds. Start a short session of twenty minutes until you have them lasting thirty to forty-five minutes. Find parts of yourself you thought you lost in nothingness.

Ezek. 24:25 “Also, thou son of man, shall it not be in the day when I take from them their strength, the joy of their glory, the desire of their eyes, and that whereupon they set their minds, their sons and their daughters,”

Find a balance. There are times to worry, times to over think your plans for the future, politics, crime in your state, the craziness of this country. Meditation time is for YOU not for thoughts, not for worries, they’re gone, if only for that one moment in time. Allow yourself a peace you’ve never known before. Allow the window of your conscience to be clearly seen through, not washed over by dirt and debris that has built up over the years. Free your mind of clutter. I can guarantee, as time goes on (not a day or two of trying) TIME goes on, eventually, when you try to fall asleep at night, you’ll remember taking out that rag during your meditation time. You’ll pull out the Windex and begin cleaning up your thoughts of the day, leading you to some form of rest, and eventually a good nights worth of sleep.

I find a nice warm cup of green tea also helps before bed. Alcohol stimulates the brain activity, tea calms it, sugar awakens the sleep you so strategically misplaced along your lifetime. Eliminate alcohol, regulate your sugar intake, know what causes stimulation and save that for morning time, but the nights, they are yours and yours alone, stress and worry are not permitted.

Take the time to take care of you! Your mind is an essential part of any healing that will ever take place from ANY disease that ails you. If you can’t find peace of mind, plan on being sick for a very long time. THAT will be your life. It’s not a picture I see ever and if I’m diagnosed with an illness, I know my MIND played a big part of bringing it to my doorstep; change the mind, change the outcome, point blank!

Isa. 26:3 “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”

Lam. 3:21 “This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.”

I'm Thankful

Remember God's bounty in the year. String the pearls of His favor. Hide the dark parts, except so far as they are breaking out in light! Give this one day to thanks, to joy, to gratitude! ~Henry Ward Beecher ~


I’m thankful….

I’m thankful for that one warm ray,
that shines on me to lighten my day.
I’m thankful for the dewy grass
that tickles my toes as I pass.
I’m thankful for the fragrant air,
that wafts on by without a care.
I’m thankful for the torrents of rain
that soaks my skin; releases my pain.
I’m thankful for the budding flower.
that blooms in glory, a scented shower.
I’m thankful for every timeless season,
new bark; new bough with endless reason.
I’m thankful for all the joyful bliss,
that graces my cheek as a gentle kiss.
I’m thankful for being allowed to touch,
that one lost soul whom needs so much.
I’m thankful for every little thing,
that has no worth, but smiles they bring.
I’m thankful for the minuscule,
for that where my soul can rule.
I’m thankful for all my eyes can see,
breathless beauty from God to me.
I’m thankful for all of this and more,
the love of life, the chance to soar!


Luke 17:15-16 “And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God, And fell down on his face at his feet, giving him thanks: and he was a Samaritan.”

Thankful 

I am most thankful for my ever loving God who loves me the way I am – there is no day set aside for loving Him, it’s a second nature to me. 
Here are thirty days of thankfulness all rolled into one!

November
1. I’m thankful for cancer – It helped me to change my life
2. Friends – The very reason I visit the windowed world
3. Writing – Through writing, I find healing
4. My Family – My husband and son
5. My family back home – I haven’t seen them for ten years but I’m thankful for the memories. (yes, I’m doing two fives)
5. My family here – Hubby has a great Christian family that loves me
6. Health – For better or worse it’s a learning curve.
7. Sleep – all eight hours of my sleep is precious and healing
8. Cars that run – twenty-year-old cars that run!
9. Springtime in the fall – In the fifties today, the sixties and a seventy by weeks end
10. Coloring books - for the big kid in me
11. Dependable friends – Friends who stand by what they say
12. Music – a meditative source of healing
13. Herbs – Healing
14. Fruits and vegetables
15. Vitamins –
16. Wisdom – 
17. Knowledge – Knowing the difference
18. Healthy food to eat – The new me!
18. My husband and son both have jobs!
19. My dogs – The stray, Riley, that is still here and my Sassy!
20. Life – All of it
21. Energy – I have the energy of a twenty-year-old
22. Walking – I have the ability to walk.
23. Balance – To know the difference when the scale is tipped
24. Exercise – Yes I’m thankful I can exercise
25. A well-balanced body – It makes exercising less of a chore
26. Sunrises and Sunsets – This is really at the top of my thankful list
27. Heat – On those chilly nights
28. Rain – and the sound of it hitting the windows 
29. Hope, Love, Joy – I know that’s three but I’m thankful for them evenly
30. I’m thankful for my strength!

I am grateful for so much more in my life, to set aside a month to be grateful seems to me inaccurate because I miss so much more of the things I’m thankful for every day of the year.

On this day of being thankful for food and family… let's remember to thank the One who makes loving one another possible and who GIVES to us freely!

All praise and Glory to God

The Path To Success

Gen.1:29-31 “Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed which is upon the face of all the earth.…To you it will be for meat." … And God saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.”

The Path to Success

There is a path that leads to success. Success is defined as the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. With this aim to accomplishment in your hand, you will be led down a path, rocky at times, leading to success. Once you start down the path, don’t look back to see how far you’ve come, keep moving forward to see how far you have to go and even then, keep moving forward to maintain balance to the achieved goal.

The first thing you should do when diagnosed with this disease is to look within yourself and find your healing place. You will see this as a blow, you’ll cry and hurt, scream and yell but whatever you do, don’t blame God. He didn’t do this to you; you did this to you. Your doctor will seize this opportunity to instill fear in you and immediately lead you to oncologists where they will color your world in a darkened veil.

Job 19:8 “He hath fenced up my way that I cannot pass, and he hath set darkness in my paths.”

You have choices! Let me say that again, YOU HAVE CHOICES! The doctors will NOT give you those choices because they have one method of getting you to comply with them and that is fear. Please know, the MAJORITY of patients go the chemo route but for all the wrong reasons, in my eyes. You have time and choices! Remember, this didn't surface overnight, it isn't going to go away overnight. If you choose the chemo route, believe in it and work WITH it to HEAL your immune system. Don’t just accept drugs as the end all to healing, which is an extremely dim path.

If you opt for alternative treatments BELIEVE in the sunlit path to your healing taking place and work from within to heal you in your entirety. When I was first diagnosed, I personally did not accept the diagnosis or the treatment options. How can I be sick when I feel so well? If you’re in a good state or country, you might be able to find a doctor to work with you, but if not, you’re on what seems like a lonely path but you’re not alone! You’re never alone as long as you have God along with good friends and prayer by your side. 

The second thing you need to do is shift your mind from, ‘oh dear, I have the Big C’ (hear the negative overtone?) to, ‘I am healing my body and we are on a path to success.’ Believe those thoughts, inside and out!

No doctor is going to fill you with hope. He/she isn’t going to say you can do this, I see you as a productive member of society after all of this is over. No, he’ll tell you about the vomiting from the drugs, nausea, the hair loss, the weakness you’ll feel. This is all from drugs and chemo, not from the disease itself. They’ll also tell you that you need to be sliced open to remove cancer (which only opens you up to the silent spread) and you’ll need radiation to finish the job. Again, you HAVE CHOICES! There IS healing taking place outside of the oncologist/chemo route! Look for them, dig for them, find them.

Third, see yourself healthy and well! Look to the future. See yourself planting a garden, picking fruits and vegetables, jogging or walking. See yourself as HEALED, not as a person who is struggling and fighting off fear. Believe in yourself and ask your friends to support you. If you have no support the path is going to become a rocky road. You NEED support and positive energy to move you forward. 

Three tips to keep in mind as you HEAL:

(1) Your immune system must remain strong. So if you’re choosing chemo remember to do all you can to repair the damage done. If you choose an alternative method, you must BUILD your immune system up so it can fight for you, not against you. A drastic change in your diet and supplement intake is in order. You also need healthy organs in this fight, so build them up, one brick at a time.

(2) Nutrition is essential! Many people think you can’t eat your way back to health, they are wrong. Taking care of what you put into your body is the only path to healing. Your diet is a major reason you’re in this position in the first place. The people who are facing the disease appearing a second time after remission more than likely did nothing to change their eating habits and just assumed chemotherapy would cure what was burning up inside them. The cells are still there.
To the people using the alternative route, nutrition is the ONLY way to a healing path. It is so important not to feed the disease. Avoid sugars, dairy and meat products as well as processed foods, heavy carbs, oats, wheat, oils, and flours! 
Detoxify your body! Nurture your organs and they’ll heal you. The disease can’t live in a clean body.

(3) The most important thing I can add is no matter what you decide, get behind your decision all the way! Pray and meditate on releasing anything negative that you might be carrying around. Every day wake and find the positive reason why you woke up to face the day and challenges in front of you! Embrace the new you that is walking down this path. Get out and walk in the sun and worship the Son. It is pertinent that you have a Healer as a guide along the path. Keep in mind, a doctor is not a healer, they are a pacifier.

Most importantly of all is to believe in yourself. Trust what your body and instincts are telling you. If something feels wrong, ditch it, if it feels right, keep on going! The answer is inside you and it always has been, and always will be; you just need eyes to see and a soul to feel.

John 11:40 “Jesus saith unto her, Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God?”

Back In The Saddle

Heb.10:38-39 “Now the just shall live by faith: but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him. But we are not of them who draw back unto perdition; but of them that believe to the saving of the soul.”

Back in The Saddle

On what you deem Easter Sunday, that was the day I celebrated my New Year. Everyone else celebrates his or her New Year on January first but to me, that is just the changing of the calendar; Easter to ME is a pagan holiday whereas Resurrection Sunday is my New Year, the day I celebrate new life, new living, and new breath breathed into my being. That day has been my New Year celebration for about thirty years now.

If ever I was the kind of person to make resolutions, this would be the day I’d commit; after Lent, after fasting and after the Resurrection! But this year has been a forced kind of change, I’m not complaining because to me it just meant a forced change that was needed and welcomed. Granted I didn’t want an illness to force me to change but then again, how else is one to change if they don’t know something needs fixing?

While this illness is all still new to me being only twelve weeks in, I’m healing and visually SEEING the healing taking place. This is why I write so as to share with you my wonderful journey of faith, hope, and promise. Faith leads me where I need to go, it also means I have no need for a backup plan if things were to go south. I DON’T CARRY THAT KIND OF DOUBTFILLED NATURE! Faith is just what it says, 100% trust in my Lord and Savior. Not, what if He falls short? Bite your tongue! My Savior NEVER falls short, thank you very much.

Sunday I had to miss the yearly family get-together; the first time in eight years that we missed. It wasn’t that I wasn’t feeling well I was protecting myself. I did tell hubby he could go and enjoy all the food that would be there along with candy dishes placed all over. I spared myself the torture of watching people gobble unhealthy food down and trying to remain quiet as I what, ate fruit and celery? Then the questions… nope, not going to put myself through that.

Hubby was sweet enough and wanted to stay home with me, so I made him a nice meal of chicken and mashed potatoes and gravy. I had my own dish of noodles that he found at the store that had zero carbs/sugar and made out of yam flour! He works at an awesome store that carries some of the strangest stuff (in a good way) and hubby is always on the lookout for food that I can eat. I actually cried when I saw the noodles because he knows how I miss my spaghetti! Ya gotta love, ‘im! 

Finding meals is difficult since the no carb, no sugar, dairy, processed foods, or GMO meat is allowed in fighting this disease. The things you CAN’T eat outweigh the foods you can eat. And so my meals are basically raw salads, fruit, and vegetables. After the first four weeks of all veggies and fruit, (the first two weeks I didn’t even have fruit) I allowed myself a small amount of vegetarian fed, non-GMO chicken, and eggs. Example: 2 scrambled eggs for breakfast, and a chicken breast topped salad for dinner. He buys two chicken breast per pack, I cut them in half to make four meals out of them. My stomach has shrunk and I don't need a ton of food to sustain me. 

Hubby even found grass fed, non-toxic beef! I made a delicious meatloaf that we all enjoyed because I don’t like beef so I shared but it sure was good tasting a nice meatloaf with REAL beef. Then there is the supplement intake...

Not that I trust WebMD but for those who think I may be taking a toxic level of supplements, put your mind at ease. I'm doing my homework on what my body needs and is lacking.

With this illness, it became OBVIOUS that I am deficient in many vitamins and nutrients. No, the taking of supplements will not cure this disease but the drastic change of my unhealthy eating lifestyle CAN. No disease can live in a clean body. So you clean out the liver, kidney, and colon; it's called detoxifying. You change all the toxins that go in and with success, all the toxins will come out.

I didn’t only change my eating habits and switched to purified water, I changed what goes onto my skin like lavender deodorant, almond soap or aloe vera body wash; what I breathe in, I now use a cleansing diffuser; my exercise, now up to two twenty minute walks a day (weather permitting); also my daily prayer, worship and meditation. Everything changed, not just the foods I ate and the supplements I take. I learned a great deal from The Truth About Cancer. Namely the seven ESSENTIALS to fighting the disease.

Let food be your medicine - healthy eating leads to a healthy body, inside and out
Detox your body - highly important or supplements are useless
Balance your energy - POSITIVE needs to outweigh the negative
Heal any emotional wounds you carry around- stress is detrimental
Biological dentistry – your mouth is the doorway to illnesses.
Herbs (herbal teas included) and vitamins - nutrients your body NEEDS to be sustained. 
TRUE PREVENTION – not what the government feeds you to believe.

You’d be surprised how important sleep (true prevention) that eight hours of it, is to your overall health. Each doctor I went to asked me how much sleep I got and I told them eight hours and they looked puzzled. I could feel them thinking, people really get eight hours of sleep? I do and I can feel the sleep importance with each hour. A good night's rest allows all the supplements and nutrition from the day to work the physical and mental cogs of my body.

With my new year has come an even keel. I don’t want to read any more about this illness, I don’t want to listen, I just want to move forward on this plane of existence to my healing. Yes, I know knowledge is good but I really need to stop all the info and utilize what I’ve learned thus far. It’s balancing my energy where it needs to be placed.

While I appreciate everyone’s thoughtfulness, a girl can only take so much and I just need to breathe. I may be happy go lucky the majority of the time but I have my bad days where I don’t even want to turn on the computer out of fear of what will be pushed on me on any given day. I need positivism, I need prayer, I need love. Without those three things, stick a fork in me, I’m done. 

I keep on keeping on and I’m in this race to the end building my strength daily. With God for me…who can be against me?

Pss. 30:2 "O LORD my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me."

A Little Scare

Luke 12:2-3 “For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known. Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops.”

I Had a Little Scare

I’m baaaaack! Did ya miss me? <3 b="" nbsp="">

Last week my hubby came down with a cold, just as Holy Week was beginning. On the eighth, he had to come home early from work because his head was more congested than a California highway during rush hour. He really gets bad this time of year with allergies and his asthma. I kicked into high gear and made him a small pot of chicken noodle soup, all for himself. 

By nighttime, his head was more clogged than the New York City streets on New Year's Eve and the box of Kleenex had dwindled. I asked him if he’d be willing to take a dose of vitamin C for me and he felt so bad, he complied. He had been talking earlier about going to the doctor on Monday so here he was, desperate (as all men become when sick) seeking the vitamin I offered. It’s a 5,000 mg powdered version that I take for my illness, and he drank it reluctantly but got it down like a good boy. 

When he rose from bed Sunday morning, his congestion had subsided and it was minimal. By Monday, he felt fine enough not to call the doctor and even did little things around the house. This is where my little scare came into the picture. 

While I was feeling fine, my throat was a little sore and I thought of the TTAC series that I had watched. What came to mind was a doctor saying, “It’s not cancer that will kill the person [fighting the illness] it’s the common cold. It’s pneumonia.” Patients fighting this illness are already immune-deficient and a cold could be detrimental. 

So, knowing the possible cold germs were invading my home, I had to be careful. Have I been taking supplements long enough for them to boost my immune system enough for me to evade this common cold bombarding my house? I’d have to wait and see. My diffuser was turned on and the air was being cleansed as I wrote. 

I rose Tuesday feeling somewhat fine but by midday, my congestion won out, I was on the sofa, head in hands saying, “what now Lord?” That’s when a little scare crept in. I’ve been doing so good in my healing, would the Lord allow this little invader to take me out? I know He wouldn’t but I also know what would! The place of fear and doubt and whoever is placing THOSE thoughts would take me out!

I turned to prayer and worship! I went on facebook and asked all of my spiritual friends to lift me in prayer as I fight this enemy, right now in the form of a common cold. I prayed and prayed along with meditation and some great worship music to soothe my soul, please be allergies! By nightfall, I was well ready for bed and looked forward to sleeping for eight hours. 

I woke to a sore throat. It felt as if I had swallowed razor blades. I needed something hot on my throat. I allow myself two cups of coffee and it was a sweet reward after a good eight hours rest. Then the sneezing began coupled with blowing my nose, numerous times. Here’s hoping it's just allergies from the seasonal blooming trees. The more the wind howled, the more I sneezed.

I could tell a force of nature, possibly a dark force, was driving this fear of a cold. I opened my email to see some spammer had tried commenting on my blog. This is the reason I have to verify comments but I haven’t seen a spammer in a couple of years since ‘modifying’ comments.

On an older, My Spiritual Friends post this woman was offering me a voodoo doctor. Seriously? A voodoo doctor? I’m obviously a spirit filled person for GOD why would someone think I’d be interested in voodoo? Then my husband on his YouTube channel posted opening and closing credits of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, yeah, don’t ask. I was being hit all around by the dark side, literally. I just added extra garlic to my morning breakfast. Hahahaha, that’s a joke!

I don’t fear the dark side attacking me instead, I prepare and fight back. Monday night my movie pick was God’s Not Dead! Ha, take that. Along with my bible reading and praise and worship the dark was sitting a mile up the road in way of darkened skies and cold temps. Monday, April 10th our high was 43 degrees with a windchill of 30! That’s spring for ya. 

Although the clouds, high winds and cold have kept me from my daily walk, I’m okay with it because I see it as God telling me I need a rest. For every negative, I see a positive! With this cold, I see it as seasonal allergies. With the cold weather, I see it’s time to do some inside cleaning of the house. As dark tries to creep in, I shine my Light so it has no place to dwell!

Wednesday night my movie pick was God’s Not Dead 2, Thursday Prince of Egypt, Friday’s pick Exodus, Saturday a documentary on Christ. My Holy Week had me drowning in the Holy and loving every second of it. No writing on my blog to bog my friends down with Joni’s woes, nope, I shared my heartwarming poetry for the entire week! This week I’ll be back writing, letting you all know how I know what I’m doing is working, maybe share some recipes of my new boring forced diet, and possibly share the dozens of supplements I’m taking. 

*By Saturday the 15th, whatever it was that had gotten to me, a cold, allergies whatever, it was gone and I was feeling almost back to normal. Not 100% but well enough to do some work around the house. 

I wrote this post during Holy Week because well, you just can’t keep a good writer down! I’ll update* this if need be but I hope you all had a most blessed Resurrection Sunday! 

Rom 5:1-5  “Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: [5] And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.”

Being Bombarded

Fort McHenry

Pss. 89:1 “I will sing of the mercies of the LORD for ever: with my mouth will I make known thy faithfulness to all generations.”

Being Bombarded

How are you doing?

Is that a cordial question or do you really want to know? Well, let me tell you, have you ever been to a fireworks show and sat under the spray of tiny embers floating in the air after the big boom of the explosive light show? It’s like a safe bombardment not the one like Fort McHenry received all those many years ago.

I feel like I’m being bombarded with information. While I wake every morning grateful to be alive I can’t help but be drawn back when I realize this is me, this is the me I never expected to be; a victim of a killer disease. I try to take one day a week where I don’t even think about my illness but let me tell you, it was much easier giving up sugars and carbs than trying to clear my mind and screen from the bombardment of information surrounding me.

I’ve subscribed to newsletters, I’ve bookmarked links, I’ve written my heart out, I’ve read until my eyes literally hurt, and I’ve spent nights (not many, mind you) disrupted by thoughts. I normally get my eight hours of sleep but I guess it’s to be expected to have a couple nights where the thoughts won’t be silenced. Prayer calms my thoughts, meditation relaxes me, but sleep evades me when I’m so into prayer and meditation. I guess it’s just a healing mechanism.

I’m okay with healing as long as I can keep the negativity far away from me, but like trying to keep the toxins away, the fight is always a daily battle. People see the picture of me and think that looks like the picture of health. For one, that picture was taken two years ago on my wedding day and while I still look like that, now there is an enemy that has invaded my body and is trying to tear the fragility of my being down to its level.

While I am one strong woman, there is a volcano erupting inside me and no chemotherapy or radiation is going to calm the lava from overflowing. No, I need to change the view, I need to take care of myself from inside out, not out of fear out of necessity.

While I will give The Truth About Cancer and Chris Wark of Chris Beat Cancer much credit in my book Beating Cancer on a Budget, this disease is one enemy I don’t wish on the poor of society because I can tell you firsthand, we are the ones who lose in the end. No one wants to help us, not many want to reach out and save. There are a few who will, but if you don’t have thousands of friends, a voice like Oprah or Ellen fighting for your cause, you are basically on your own, kicking and screaming with no one hearing.

I don’t have the money to buy the TTAC series (praise God, I saw it free twice!) or the CBC series, or the numerous books from the newsletters I’m subscribed to, I don’t have thousands of dollars to fly off to Tijuana Mexico and head to a clinic that actually has a successful HEALING rate, no, I have $634. That isn’t going to pay the two thousand and more dollars in medical bills I have because guess what, insurance didn’t pay ALL of the bills. That isn’t going to cover the chiropractor visits I need, and while my decision to go alternative is not acceptable to the majority of people, I am going to BEAT this enemy on an extremely tight budget and give HOPE to the others out there not having success with the pharmaceutical owned, strong arm of the ancient treatment,  chemo. 

I am eternally GRATEFUL to my dear friends who came through for me. I have a feeling that there are people out there fighting the same battle as me and don’t even have the six-thirty four to buy the food or supplements they need. I am fortunate, I am loved, I am healing, and I will WIN!

While people, even my family, see a picture of health, I’m battling a devastating illness where I’m always looking out for the slightest toxin that can knock me on my butt! A simple cold could take me out because cells that want to eat me alive have bombarded my immune system. People will say, well just get chemo and you won’t have that problem. I’m sorry, I don’t believe that lie. It’s like going to the store and them selling me a lemon meringue pie telling me it’s good for me because it has lemon in it. You might buy what they’re selling, but I don’t. I might pay for my decision in the end, but you’re right about something, this is MY decision, MY choice, and MY way of handling something that wants to destroy me. You can support me or ignore me but I have a LIFE TO LIVE!

Many people don’t have the self-discipline it takes to survive these days. They will take drug after drug, med after med, script after script to sustain them for a couple more years but they won’t take the initiative to drastically change their eating habits to save their lives. People say organic eating is expensive and I’ll say, more expensive than the medications you ingest? Maybe you wouldn’t need all of those medications if you ate more healthy but hey, you only live once and meds will keep you going while you toxify yourself, it’s all good.

I am on a mission of healing! My niece has had a fundraiser going on another FB page of a clothing line that she is a part of, they’ve raised two-hundred dollars for me and again, total strangers are coming through for me! Our God is an awesome God, He reigns! And this my friends is the ONLY place that I find healing! 

Pss. 89:24 “But my faithfulness and my mercy shall be with him: and in my name shall his horn be exalted.”

BEAUTY! 11-11

1 Chron.16:29 “Give unto the LORD the glory due unto his name: bring an offering, and come before him: worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness.”

BEAUTY

Keeping to my word, I am writing about the BEAUTY I see in the world. I have to admit while everyone is happy stroking their ego’s I am content seeking beauty where there is none. 

I open my eyes in the morning and am grateful to be alive another day. I thank the Lord as I shuffle to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. It is usually after a good eight hours of sleep. Yes, I’m still young enough not to have inhibited sleeping patterns and I chalk that up to my daily prayerful meditations and the content feeling I have with MY life.

I hear people say that they’ve suffered from insomnia all of their life, or because of medications it stops them from sleeping all night, or that they take a supplement to help them sleep, or that I better enjoy sleeping all night while I’m young because the older I get the less I’ll sleep. 

I guess I see why they call it beauty sleep because of the rarity of a restful, content, full night of sleep is absolutely beautiful. Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to see the BEAUTY in a good nights rest.

After the coffee begins perking I take my dog outside for her morning business. It is usually dark and before turning the outside light on, I stare at the illuminated starlit sky and say good morning to God. I usually get a wink but it just might be my eyes adjusting to the dark after coming from the lit house. Thank you, God, for allowing me to see the BEAUTY in the early morning sky!

I gather my dog by giving a whistle and she either slowly (she’s getting old) crosses the leaf filled yard in noisy steps or makes her way around the front of the house and begins barking for entry. I let her in the house and we both meet at the pantry where her treats are stored and she stares, gratefully and eagerly; even if she’s done nothing, she knows a treat is coming! Thank you, God, for allowing me to see the BEAUTY in my dog’s smile.

I turn and go to my finely brewed coffee after listening to the final groan of percolating, I stand there, inhale the scrumptious aroma and thank God once again for technical gadgets that bring the house alive visually and aromatically. Thank you, God, for allowing me to see the BEAUTY in a well-brewed cup of coffee.

I begin shuffling across the floor with hot coffee in my hand, pause as I inhale the steam, and continue walking to my lit computer screen. “What will I write about today, God?” then I click the weather that screams in the darkness, warmth and sunshine this fine November week and again I say, thank you, God, for allowing me to see the BEAUTY in an unseasonably warm day!

To my left, the sun begins to rise in a splendid show of color, I open the bible and read, pray and meditate on the Word He has so richly filled me with since my youth. Good morning my dear friend, thank you for allowing me to see the BEAUTY in prayer and the brilliance in the sunrise. Even when it is hiding behind clouds I sense the BEAUTY and warmth that the sun lends me to start my day.

I click ‘log in’ and the beauty melts away like a wax candle placed in the center of a roaring bonfire. I pray… “Lord, help me see the beauty in the world through your eyes.” My computer crashes… I shuffle myself to the kitchen for a second cup of BEAUTY!

“Sometimes people are beautiful.

Not in looks.

Not in what they say.

Just in what they are.” 

― Markus Zusak

Heal Today...Gone Tomorrow

Fort McHenry cannon looking toward

the Francis Scott Key bridge

where my uncle took his life

Pss. 30:2  “O LORD my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me.”

Heels today… gone tomorrow

You ever have one of those days where everything is going along fine. Then you see something and reality smacks you upside the head? We’re doing some fall cleaning here; we get to the cluttered closet and there sits a box of shoes. Heels that I’ve never worn. 

I said, “I have to get rid of that entire box.” 
He replied, “Well when you can walk again, we’ll pull them back out of the box.”  

Tears filled my eyes and kept on filling. The reality is…I’ll never be able to walk normal again. Just thought I’d share that with you all as I release some of this anguish I’m lugging around.

I used to love wearing high heels, not real high, just a classy kind of heel with jeans or a skirt; then about four years ago, with too many Omaha trips (eight hours round trip) high-heel wearing came to a screeching halt. I remember going to the doctor and she sent me to the hospital for some x-rays and a day later it was explained that I had lower lumbar facet joint arthritis. Sure, some meds and a highly paid chiropractor could offer some relief, but that's just it, a false relief, not a healing plan.

Here I was, still enjoying my youth and am told that I have arthritis and as many of you know, that is a chronic disability that doesn’t just go away. I had tried to wear my lower heels and even they were awkward to walk in and the limp in my stride didn’t sync with a low heel. I was relinquished to tennis shoes and even they were getting uncomfortable mainly in the summertime heat. I did buy some comfy sandals by Earth Spirit (yes, WalMart brand) but don’t ya know, I can’t wear them in the winter now can I? 

I have my up and down days where I feel sorry for myself and the me I once was but have to learn to accept that this is the new me and whom God created.  But when we were cleaning out the closet and the box with my heels in it passed me by, I cried. I admit it, it hurt to see a part of myself shoved in the basement never to be seen again. I think my husband was trying to make me feel good when he said the words, “When you walk again.” The reality was and is, I’ll never walk normal again.

My dear friends try to comfort me, “there is Hope,” they say. My first thought was yeah when I get to heaven and can run free! They mean well, they really do and I won’t for one minute minimize the love I feel for them or from them, and the comfort they bring to my life but understand, I was one on the go woman all of my life. You don’t fit into the same jeans you wore twenty years ago by NOT being an overly active woman. Then yesterday…

Heal today… gone tomorrow.

I don’t know what the universe is trying to tell me when yesterday I answered my phone, thinking for one idiotic moment it was my sister calling to tell me about her daughter. No, it wasn’t her, it was an old friend who called me last year some time (he got the number from my mother) and wanted to rehash the past just like he did last year when I stopped answering my phone because I AM NOT ABOUT MY PAST!

I told him last year that I didn’t want to talk about that stuff but he just kept going on and on, “Do you remember…” You name the memory, I remember it with all its hurts and pains that I let go of, in vivid painstaking detail. His call started that way this time in asking where my ex-husband lived (they were friends) and talking about my abuse until I finally said, “I’m really busy right now.” (Joni is a terrible liar! Luckily I WAS busy!)

He said, “I better let you go or I’ll keep talking and talking.”
My instant reply was, “yes you will but call me when I have FREE minutes, like the weekend.” I seriously was trying to hang up without hurting his feelings because that’s just the way I am, then and now, I don’t like to hurt ANYONE. I just wish he had shown me the same consideration because I know I won’t be answering the phone this weekend. 

For thirteen years I wrestled with my pained past. When I first left Baltimore and left my family and past behind, I got caught up in a tornado of healing as memories whizzed passed and choked me into anxiety attacks where running off alone in the rain on darkened streets were my only solace. I would lie in bed cradling my pillow as tears soaked the very sheets where I slept. I was in a better place but it was a place of healing that had to be measured by agonizing sickened memories of the past.

Haunting is the only way to describe the lingering past. A ghost that would appear out of nowhere when I least expected it and scare me into a non-drug induced panic attack. I don’t take drugs for my pain and dealing with what I’m dealt in a meditative God loving fashion is all I’ve ever known to do. 

A close friend once told me that I needed to just let go of those memories and the people who hold those memories if all they’re there for is to hurt me, why hold on? Yes, that meant family and old friends who think rehashing an excruciating pain-filled past is what the future is all about. 

My now and my future is all about healing. My pain is washed away with every rainfall and I release the past as if it never existed into a tornadic funnel to be released wherever it may go. I will not allow thirteen years of healing to be scrubbed by one phone call of the bitter past. I face my tomorrows with the prayerful meditation that I have known to grow me into a hopeful tomorrow.

I woke this morning only to be hit with news of an earthquake where a dear friend lives. I prayed. The universe will leave something in my life called HOPE, LOVE and COMPASSION; he arrived to let me know he and his family are well. 

Praise be to God!

Nurturing The Spirit

James 4:16-17 KJV “But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil.

Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.”

Nurturing the Spirit

If an innocent child is abandoned and left on his own without guidance, he is bound to get into trouble. Whether making the wrong decisions because he/she knew no better like toddling out the unlocked front door right into on-coming traffic, or just making the wrong choice because he can, like setting the house on fire by playing with matches near the curtains. This is what happens to a wayward society without God leading them in the right direction. The people play with fire and get they burned, figuratively and literally.

God left us alone with a few instructions and we can’t even decide which ones to follow or which ones don’t need our attention, basically, we struggle with choosing right from wrong. That’s where nurturing the Spirit within you comes into play. God planted the Holy Spirit here on earth to dwell within us IF we’d have Him but so many have made the conscious decision of not wanting Him or His Spirit near us. People CHOOSE to not have Him or anyone for that matter, governing their lives.

You see, reading the Bible and believing in the Word is all well and good but nurturing your spirit is the much-needed task and the difference between being raised by humans or being misled by a pack of wolves. While I love wolves, “they are considered one of the animal world's most fearsome natural villains.”

If you leave God out of the equation of humanity, we become like a pack of wolves, villains at our worse behavior imaginable, like killing and maiming the lower species because we as the human species can act in the most animalistic way we can think of and our packs are in record numbers dividing the majority and minority sector.

The minority of people clings to God and allows His spirit to rule our soul and we ACT like civil God loving human beings practicing our faith while the majority of the world follows the ravenous pack of wolves. Mind you we have tamed packs where they act civil but their teeth bearing, howling hate nature is ever visible. They’ve been allowed to roam too long in the wild, taking in and feeding off whatever the media throws them, absorbing the fecal matter into their spirits and allowing that to shape who they are and showing the world their sugar-coated dish to make it look more delectable to the unknowing and misguided mind.

The world does not nurture the spirit within them. Their egos are so big they think they can control their world around them never giving reins to a supreme more powerful Godhead. The ego is a masterful wolf ravaging your insides controlling every action or inaction you take. When we allow the ego to rule we are essentially tossing God to the ever-loving covetous wolves.

This is the world you see before you. THIS is the very reason everything seems to be going downhill. You wake and hear more and more bad news, mass killings, rape, incest, torture, and hatred among political human beings. The minority of God dwellers is not strong enough to overpower the majority of ego driven, voracious savages that now rule the streets, homes, countries and soul’s of what is left of the human species. 

My naïveté tells me that the power of prayer will help guide and protect us, the minority, in sync with the Spirit that we hold steadfast within our beings. It is only through prayer and meditation on the word DAILY not weekly, that we can save the damned, the ill, the misled, and the lost. God save us all.

James 4: 13-17 NIV "Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring!
"What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. 
"So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin."

Meditation

Ezek. 13:3 “Thus saith the Lord GOD; Woe unto the foolish prophets, that follow their own spirit, and have seen nothing!”

Meditation is not some new aged practice; actually it has been around for thousands of years practiced by many different faiths including Christians around the world. As early as the book of Genesis (for you Christians) you can see that Isaac meditated. (Gen. 24:7)

Pss.1:2 “But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.”

I’ve meditated for quite a few years now because it is one way I use to put my mind to rest. I remember seeing a meme recently that said something like 'for those who go right to bed and fall right to sleep, don’t you have thoughts?' Well my quick response was: yes, but I leave my thoughts outside the door so I CAN sleep. And I sleep peacefully for eight hours, thank you very much.

Meditate:
to engage in thought or contemplation; reflect.
to engage in transcendental meditation, devout religious contemplation, or quiescent spiritual introspection.

What helps me in my meditation is the fact that I carry good thoughts; an optimist if you will. I meditate on the Word and reflect the word in my actions. It is easier for me to love than to hate. When people say they can’t/won’t meditate I have to wonder, is their mind so full of hate that they don’t have good thoughts to think about?

I try my best to steer clear of those who love and hate at the same time. They show love on one side of the fence but on the other side they show so much hate and rage I wonder how they even sleep at night, or do they?

Some people may call me a snob but I am far from it; I am not better than anyone. Because I choose love over hate is a choice of mine and I only wish more people knew the benefits that result from living a life of love. Jesus taught us to love and how to love but people put their own spin on what they deem as love. Kind of makes me wonder what else they misinterpret.

When people say they are seeking a spiritual path I have to ask, what are you doing? Are you placing more love and good in your life that over rides all that hate that fills you on a daily basis? If the answer is no then you are seeking the wrong path. Your actions speak volumes as to the path you are headed down and I only wish a boulder wasn’t blocking your way to finding what you seek.

Pss. 63:6 “When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches.”

Meditating in the night watches to me means when I lay my head down to rest at night, my thoughts are all on Him and a peaceful night of sleep follows as I rest in His words. Some people have no other thoughts than thoughts of this material world that keep their mind roaming and unfocused. Thoughts of bills, food and all that is wrong with the world will keep any sane man or woman awake at night. 

Following a spiritual path doesn’t mean that you try meditating once and give up when your weakness allows you to lose focus. Meditating has to become an hourly part of your day where you focus on good, light, love throughout the day so the positive thoughts can carry you through a restful nights sleep.

I’m not saying that when I get older I won’t develop insomnia of some sort but right now, I’m not older and meditation is what has gotten me to this point of peacefulness that washes over me and I carry with me throughout the days of my life. 

What, you don’t think I have problems, bills and things to take my mind in places I dare not let it go? You’re wrong. I have a world of problems that could consume my thoughts but I won’t let ANYTHING take my thoughts away from God. The world is going to hell in a handbag and there is not one thing negative that I can say that will change that. 

Am I supposed to be filled with anger and rage because of the status of the world? The status of religions? The killing and hatemongering that will continue to consume man until he falls into the pit of hellfire?

The only thing that can fight hate is LOVE. This is what Jesus was trying to show us. The world is going and we’re going with it unless we fight with LOVE. Jesus’ message was not to HATE but to LOVE.

You can put your theological spin on the matter just as well as I can. I am not naïve, I am a child of God and will declare love until my very last breath because THAT is what Jesus would do, and that is what Jesus DID!

You can ask any one of the spiritual people that you may know, whether of the Christian faith or any other faith, spirituality is all about LOVE. To be filled with hate is to demean spirituality. Man cannot serve God AND mammon. You must serve one and know the difference in the lines you CHOOSE to cross. (note: God IS Spirit.)

Don’t call yourself a spiritual seeker and seek out what you can hate on any given day. Don’t call yourself a Christian if it is two masters that you serve. Don’t wear a mask that you think people want to see, show them the real you. If you’re not willing to show the world the real you, then take a look in the mirror and see what you don’t like and work to change it for YOU. Then show the world the you that you can be sure of.

Pss. 119:48 “My hands also will I lift up unto thy commandments, which I have loved; and I will meditate in thy statutes.”

Meditation will drive you down the path of spiritual awakening that you seek. If you can’t let go of the hate in your heart, you are not ready to be awakened to the spiritual side we were destined to be a part of.  Do the world a favor and stay asleep, which leaves more room for those who are awake to actually SEEK the righteous path.

1 Tim. 4:15 “Meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all.”

Reflection

Reflection

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 

1 John 4:18

My forty days of reflection has begun with the beginning of the Lenten season. Some people will announce what they are doing for the Feast of Reflection, some will not give the Fast of Sacrifice a second thought, and others will wonder what all this Christian hokey pokey is about. Well turn yourself around and I’ll tell you.

Isa. 58:6-8 “Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?
Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?
Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the LORD shall be thy reward.”

Lent, just like Advent is a highly misunderstood Holy Time of the year. Many people assume it is just something Catholics partake in and it’s a ritual they WON’T take part in. Some people will tout that they reflect and sacrifice all year so they won’t partake but I’m here to tell you, it is SO much more!

Lent is a forty-day period of prayer, penance and fasting. It is a season of sacrifice, spiritual exercise and renewal. My season begins on Ash Wednesday and lasts until Easter Sunday the day I celebrate my New Year and my spirit is mentally refreshed and healed.

Sacrifice – It can also mean fasting, not always celebrated with the refusal of meat, unless meat is a hindrance in your life. Sacrifice means to give up something that is hindering your spiritual growth. To REALLY sacrifice is not hiding on days you feel like it and slipping into old routines because no one is watching. Can you imagine giving up politics, hate and judging of people like blacks, Jews, Christians and yes even Muslims for forty-days? Imagine giving up Social Walls for forty-days. Giving up sex for forty-days. There are so many things YOU can give up and sacrifice for your Lord.

This sacrifice is all about YOU and God! A forty-day sacrifice is extremely hard and grueling, sometimes painful and feels like it is punishment but this is the LEAST we can do for a man we believe was whipped and had skin shredded, falling off the bone and hung on the cross for US!

Prayer – This isn’t the normal prayer you pray when someone says they need prayer and you say, ‘praying’. This season of prayer is deep meditative prayer for YOU, for all you hate, for all you judge, for strength in lasting forty-days. This is a cleansing prayer feast between you and God. 

Renewal – After the season is over and you awake on Easter Sunday there is a refreshing, honorable feeling that overwhelms you knowing you made it the forty-days without fail. That is the secret. Not failing. We fail all year but in these forty days WE DO NOT FAIL! That is where the sacrifice, prayer and renewal of spirit comes from and washes over as if you yourself bathed in the river Jordan.

My prayer for you is to know and understand what this season is all about. I pray that you know and understand the true meaning of sacrifice and that you see and feel internal growth by the Rising of the Lord. 

May God walk with you all and bless you in more ways than one!

Because I am loved by God… I can be grateful for another day of life.

1 John 4:19 “We love him, because he first loved us.”

God's Not Dead

GOD’S NOT DEAD

Eph. 4:14 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;

If you’re a reader of my blog, you know that Lent is an extremely delicate spiritual season for me. This is the time of deep meditation, insight, prayer and connecting to the Lord my God. It is a time where metaphysical events take place in my life and I don’t take them lightly, I take them to heart. Not only was I born during Lent, I have a very deep spiritual connection to the greater things in life and the Higher Power, God.

I have a few Native American friends and I have the utmost respect for them because of their spiritual connections to the earth. I believe my spiritual connection is not far removed from their spiritual connections and for that reason we bond. Our souls know one another and we respect each other. It is out of that respect I would never post scripture of my Lord on their wall and tell them, ‘this is who I like’. We are different but we are the same. I honor the difference.

Friends mostly respect me and I try to respect my friends for our different beliefs even if we are all Christians believing in Jesus Christ. I respect the Catholics and different religions but they would never post a picture of the Pope on my wall, or JW or Mormon memes out of respect for my belief. Just as I would hope no one would post satanic or witchcraft post on my wall out of respect for MY religious beliefs.

On March 22^nd, a friend who knows I don’t agree with anything Ken Ham teaches because I feel he is a false prophet who is teaching lies, posted a link of KH. Was I delighted to see this post? No! Did I even click the link? I would never! I get a really bad spiritual feeling from this guy and I mean BAD! How can I explain my blood trembling in my veins? What scares me even more is I now know respected Christians actually believe this false prophet.

As with all believers we are entitled to believe what we want when we read the Bible but I realized I am very different and thought strange for my beliefs, while others can drink in the false beliefs of dinosaurs frolicking with humans in the beginning of time, I do not share that belief and I’ll tell you why, God!

Can I prove what God says to me? No, because it’s between Him and I. Can I show you in some way how God talks to me? In all my posts I thought that this is what I was conveying but maybe I’m not as good a writer as I thought. Did you read how it came to be that we were led to Nebraska? Have you even read what we endured as my man went blind? Did you brush up on the story of his sight being restored? It was all God people. He spoke to me, He led me, I listened and I followed Him.

If any of you have read my story you should know that I shouldn’t even be alive today and a follower of Christ no less. I wasn’t raised in a religious household, I was sent to Catholic school but that was the extent of religion in my life. I was raised by generational alcoholics, and surrounded by alcoholic/drugs addicts. I married into a like family that was full of alcoholic’s, drug addicts and people who believed lies. My entire 20 yr. marriage was based on lies that I was told.

I wasn’t raised in the computer world either. I only got a computer in recent years so Google did not shape the person I am today. The Holy Bible did that and God Himself spoke me into being. I wrote and read a lot of books, the kind you hold in your hand with yellowing and dog-eared pages. Hearing God speak to me and move me became my way of life. I saw myself as resting in the palm of God’s hand and sometimes I gazed up at Him and saw Him holding my hand leading me in one direction or another.

My life is shaped by God’s truth not MY truth or mans truth. Even when reading the Bible God would lend me His truth, through soft whispers or loud resounding echoes. And the very reason I don’t believe in KH lies, is because I don’t feel he is spreading God’s truth but his truth as HE interprets the bible. Every one of us has a right to interpret God’s words as we hear them but falling under a spell of a false witness, to me, is not being led by God.

After hearing about KH and feeling what I felt I had to do a little research to see if ANYONE out there had the intense belief of the same things that shaped this young child, not a grown woman, not a child raised in religious theology, a young child LISTENING to God. There has to be someone, God wouldn’t lie to me I know that, so after some deep meditating and prayer I searched and was being led once again.

I found this page loaded with Evidence of God. Believe or not; listen or don't; ignore and walk away, it is YOUR choice!

After the post of the false prophet on my facebook wall, I felt a severe level of disrespect for my belief. I was told to read Gen 6 as a way of understanding KH. (Personally, I don’t need to understand him, thank you. I listen to God. HE is all I need to understand.)

Gen 6: 5 And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.

Taken out of context this scripture means one thing to you and meant a lot more to me when reading Genesis 6. It jumped out at me, it clung to me, it whispered over and over in my ear. It meant to me that this is the epitome of KH. He is NOT of God and BIBLICAL truth. He is a scientist making millions off of feeding the dinosaur theology to people. (I won't link to the books he is selling our children. Go dig for yourself the books of people riding on dinosaurs.)

I thought my birthday was ruined, darkened by a false prophet who believes dinosaurs were on board Noah’s ark, babies mind you, not the enormous ones that supposedly roamed with Noah and his people and helped Noah build the ark.

God guided me to Ephesians 4. It is the King James version.

GOD would NOT let my day be ruined. I prayed for people, I meditated on God’s word and assured Him I would not be misled. I spoke to Him and He spoke to me. My birthday was taking on the glimmer of sun, sparkled upon by the receiving of a ‘Double Knockout Rose of the Star family’ and a huge cookie wishing me a HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

We settled down to watch a movie. We hadn’t picked one out and Steven said, “You pick.”

I signed onto NetFlix and a big bold BANNER across the screen read: GOD’S NOT DEAD!

I didn’t need to pick a movie, God picked our movie for us.

What a wonderful birthday gift from God Himself! Thank you sweet Jesus!

Ex. 15:13 Thou in thy mercy hast led forth the people which thou hast redeemed: thou hast guided them in thy strength unto thy holy habitation.

Thank You Dear Lord

THANK YOU

Below is a scripture that I was led to by the Spirit and I read it in the wee hours of Monday morning. This is exactly how I have been feeling lately.

Pss. 143:1-6 Hear my prayer, O LORD, give ear to my supplications: in thy faithfulness answer me, and in thy righteousness.
And enter not into judgment with thy servant: for in thy sight shall no man living be justified.
For the enemy hath persecuted my soul; he hath smitten my life down to the ground; he hath made me to dwell in darkness, as those that have been long dead.
Therefore is my spirit overwhelmed within me; my heart within me is desolate.
I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands.

I stretch forth my hands unto thee: my soul thirsteth after thee, as a thirsty land. Selah.

And my prayer:

Pss. 143:7-12  Hear me speedily, O LORD: my spirit faileth: hide not thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down into the pit.
Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.
Deliver me, O LORD, from mine enemies: I flee unto thee to hide me.
Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness.
Quicken me, O LORD, for thy name's sake: for thy righteousness' sake bring my soul out of trouble.

And of thy mercy cut off mine enemies, and destroy all them that afflict my soul: for I am thy servant.

And my answer:

Pss. 144: 1-15 Blessed be the LORD my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight: My goodness, and my fortress; my high tower, and my deliverer; my shield, and he in whom I trust; who subdueth my people under me.
LORD, what is man, that thou takest knowledge of him! or the son of man, that thou makest account of him!
Man is like to vanity: his days are as a shadow that passeth away.
Bow thy heavens, O LORD, and come down: touch the mountains, and they shall smoke.
Cast forth lightning, and scatter them: shoot out thine arrows, and destroy them.
Send thine hand from above; rid me, and deliver me out of great waters, from the hand of strange children;
Whose mouth speaketh vanity, and their right hand is a right hand of falsehood.
I will sing a new song unto thee, O God: upon a psaltery and an instrument of ten strings will I sing praises unto thee.
It is he that giveth salvation unto kings: who delivereth David his servant from the hurtful sword.
Rid me, and deliver me from the hand of strange children, whose mouth speaketh vanity, and their right hand is a right hand of falsehood:
That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace:
That our garners may be full, affording all manner of store: that our sheep may bring forth thousands and ten thousands in our streets:
That our oxen may be strong to labour; that there be no breaking in, nor going out; that there be no complaining in our streets.
Happy is that people, that is in such a case: yea, happy is that people, whose God is the LORD.

This was Monday morning’s meditation and Bible reading and if you read my poem on Sunday, you’ll see how similar they are. I wrote the poem on Saturday and Monday morning I was led to these readings. I am Spirit filled and Spirit led.

Just so you know, no matter how deep the pit, there is always the Light that will lead you to a comfort zone in your soul.

Praise be to God!

Self Doubt

“Just by going to Church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in the garage makes you a car.”

Joyce Meyer and others

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Like the contagious flu going around, I hear self -doubt is going around too. It can be quite contagious if you don’t have a mask of protection on. Some people don’t feel they need a mask, but it is helpful in a germ-ridden world of self-doubt and non-believers.

I have lived with self- doubt most of my life. It’s a form of low self-esteem, which carried me for twenty years of a bad marriage. I was always closed off from the world, didn’t write (no computer) but you know what? That didn’t stop me from writing and healing myself.

I began meditating as a way to center my thoughts. Don’t get me wrong here, it does not go against my religious convictions, instead it walks WITH my religious faith.

Pss. 1: 2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.

I can find may references to meditation so it isn’t some new age ritual. It’s been around for some time. I use meditation to get me focused on God and more important things like, ME! It is okay to focus on you, because that is where you’ll find the most healing transition in your life.

I grew up in a family of self-doubters and huggers of low self-esteem. We were not rooted in God, we were rooted in alcohol and abuse. It is all I knew. It was up to ME to change, ME, with a little (no, a lot) of help from God.

I waited on the Lord and twenty years later, drastic change came my way. What? Twenty years? Yes, I waited twenty years. God doesn’t give us a set date and time, so when I hear people say they waited a year and got nothing, I say, “A year? Really?”

I realize people don’t have twenty years to wait and your time may be less than mine. I was deep, deep in depression, the FEAR of failure and nonacceptance, that I ignored opportunities to grow. Being surrounded with the negative people didn’t help matters any. It wasn’t until I had a God-slap moment, that things took on a life of its own.

I stopped looking everywhere else for my healing, looked within and saw myself cradled in an all powerful love hug from God himself. I no longer looked outward, in say horoscopes, the extra terrestrial life that I suspected was out there, I had to look within and stayed focused on one thing, God. Yes it takes persistent practice, nail-biting downfalls, uplifting moments and guess what, PATIENCE!

I had read once (okay many times) that satan is an all too consuming power that will have you looking outward at these false things, so that you can’t focus on God. Made sense to me.

Maybe it was from the false belief, that God helps those, who help themselves. I’m sorry to disagree, but God helps the HELPLESS, the HOPELESS. God helps us all! Sure he’ll be your guide as you struggle to help yourself, but really, when you’re in a darkened pit, you do all you CAN to help yourself, and you just want to be freed from the pit, like Daniel in the Lion’s Den.

Ten years ago, God took me out of the pit and assured me He would be along on the journey. I left my home in Baltimore, ventured into the grand state of Texas, and never looked back at the life I left behind. I made it out of the pit of dysfunction and negativity, crawled on my hands and knees in a merciful fashion and was met with adversity and struggles, but now I realized, it was ME, not some strapped up prisoner afraid of everything.

My life changed. I got my license for the first time, was encouraged to do things on my own, like shopping for food! (I told you I was a prisoner) and slowly but surely layers of low self-esteem peeled away from me, like a banana yielding a delicious fruit! I was now a precious fruit in my own mind. Finally I shed self-doubt, and left it lying on the ground for someone to slip and fall on, because I wasn’t going back!

Sure I have doubts sometimes, but know, the more focused I am on God and my purpose, not facebook, twitter, Myspace or Pinterest, the more and more layers of doubt peel away. The more I don’t focus on what can be done today, like cleaning (all idle or idol distractions) or television, I woman up and do rightful things in the MOMENT, like WRITE!

Prayerful meditation will guide you gently in the here and now. Not in the failures or let downs, in the HERE and NOW! Once focused on the moment, you’ll see, you've accomplished something and wonder, “How’d I do that?”

To add to the opening quote: “Just because you believe in Christ, doesn’t make you a Christian, no more than believing in a horrorscope makes it the truth of your day.”  Joni Zipp