You Can't Force Love

“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.”

~ Henry David Thoreau

You Can’t Force Love

Can you imagine a heavenly Father forcing himself on us and making us love Him? Or trying to guilt us into loving him unconditionally? No, I can’t imagine that either. That is why we have a thing called free-will, we have a CHOICE to love the Lord or not to. We can love Him from afar or have an up close and personal relationship; the choice is ours. 

Relationships, whether earthly or spiritual, work two ways. Let’s say a person gives love but the receiver doesn’t return that love, but expects more and more love from the giver without ever acknowledging the heartfelt sentiment from the giver. Does that sound like love of any kind?

Take for example God. He gives you love, you receive it but never ever thank Him for all the love He has given, then when you’re down that’s the first thing you want is your Heavenly Father. 

Do you have a relationship with God where you do all the giving and He does all the taking? I myself cannot see a God that doesn’t reciprocate the love you give to Him. I can however see mothers and fathers and children with earthly choices choosing to do all the taking without ever an ounce of giving. I can see children growing up in the ‘me generation’ making love all about them without ever giving the love that it takes to get some in return. 

The children today are all about what THEY need, what THEY want and never thinking far enough ahead of what was given to get to this point of wanting and needing. Children today are very selfish and always worrying about their wants and not focusing on Him. It’s a hard realization when we come to terms that life is not about US, it is about Him and the sacrifices we must make to be at peace and have a relationship in a clogged-drain world. Kids today don’t realize the severity of not having Him first and foremost but they’ll learn, one day. 

True stories:
I have a niece born out of wedlock, an illegitimate child. Her mother forced child support, while bio-dad forced visitation rights. A compromise was made and thirty years later all involved has a mutual love-filled relationship; all because of CHOICES made in FORMING the relationship.

I have other nieces born out of love but torn apart by divorce. The choices of the mother and father to have relationships and be involved in their lives make the world of difference between bitter or self-absorbed. 

I have a son, who was born out of love who was torn apart by divorce, never seeing or knowing his dad since he was seven and as an adult now makes the CHOICE in whether he seeks out or has ANY relationship with his father. He chooses not to have one and I won’t FORCE him to do anything different because he’s an adult now. 

Some parents build a fantasy world for their children like telling them Santa exists and will bring you presents only for the kids to grow and realize their parents lied to them. If they lied about Santa, Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy what other lies were told that you, as an unknowing child, bought into? I’ve seen over the years so many kids torn apart by lies and deception only to find out later the truth. I never lied to my son about Santa, he never knew him whereas I tried to FORCE my God and all of MY opinions on him and it backfired. I didn’t lie to him about God, but I tried to FORCE him to love God.

God will never FORCE himself upon you. He gives you truth as a gift and it is up to you to wrap your mind around the giver or let it blow in the breeze like a self-entitled receiver. When we lie to our children by giving them what we think they want to hear, it is going to backfire and hurt the children in the long run and in the end FORCE them into making decisions as the adult they’ve become. We can no longer make decisions for our adult children because they have already formed an opinion. Either from what we forced on them, lied to them, or tried shaping them into.

I always told my son the truth about his father and our relationship and it is now up to him as an adult, to shape whatever if any relationship will be had later in life. The choice is now his, I can’t make it for him. God gives us the CHOICE to have a relationship with Him. My son now knows it is up to him to have a relationship with God and as an adult, he makes his own choices. Mom can’t save him now, only God can do that.

The CHOICE is always yours!

“A perfect relationship is two imperfect people who refused to give up on each other.”

All Tied Up?

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble." - 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
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Did you ever notice people with the means to help, don’t. And the people without the means, do? Or at least want to. I think I remain poor because even if I was a popular published novel writer, my money would be flung out the window, handed off to people who need it!

I have family members who make more than $100,00 thousand a year, and ones who make less than $25,000 a year. Wanna know who helps in our dire time of need? Yup you guessed it, the ones with the least amount to give. And if you ask the ones with more than enough money for help? They tell you they don’t have it, their money is all tied up. What does that even mean? Oh wait...it is in savings for THEM, so THEY have a good life, for the rest of their lives. Poo, on those who have nothing, get a job they say. Well! I don’t need you, I have GOD, and YOU have your place carved out for you.

More so than that, the ones without don’t even need to ask if I need help. Have you ever seen the man with raggedy clothing on the street corner, cup in hand, sign on ground, NEED FOOD, some call them ‘bums’, some say they are derelicts, some whisper, ‘street trash’, I say the are ‘homeless’ victims.

Why victims? Because they became a victim of circumstance. Please don’t give me the story on these men and women, how they are just out for booze. Sucking off of ‘good taxpaying people’. Do you hear how wrong that sounds? I grew up in the city, Baltimore city, and the homeless could be seen sleeping on top of steaming sewer drains, they will carry their ‘home’ with them, usually a cardboard box, a lot of times a shopping cart filled with a coat and boxes that they would roll around the streets from one place to the next.

It was always so sad to see these men AND women clinging to the very edge of society. A misfit among the human race, pushed there by disease? Hard times? Society? Or Family? I have been on the edge of that line numerous times but God has always sought someone to reach out to me and bring me something, anything in my time of NEED, not want. God is the only saving Grace during these hard times of need, and having real Christians surround you and pull you together into their arms, that is what you NEED!

Sure we all want a nice home, a warm home with a car outside waiting for us to jump in, clothes on our backs, and food on our plates. We also want that new blouse we saw at JCPenny’s, or that purse we saw at Macy’s, or the new sofa we saw at the Furniture Store. But those are all WANTS and nothing that you really NEED.

I NEED my state of mental health, and the Greed Factory is not where I’ll ever visit anytime soon. You enjoy your time there and if you see someone who resembles Jesus, in need, tell him you can’t help, “YOUR money is all tied up.” See how that works for you.

Hebrews 13:1-2 "Let brotherly love continue. Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares".

But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mk 10:43-45 (NLT)

The Season of Gifting?

Prov.15:27 He that is greedy of gain troubleth his own house; but he that hateth gifts shall live.
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I remember so many times as a child getting through the crowds at Christmas time, trying to hail a cab with my mother because we had so many bags and boxes we just couldn’t fit onto the overstuffed bus!  Pushing through the throng of shoppers, waiting in long lines, pressing through to get that one special gift!

My mother would take herself broke to give to others. Always on Christmas eve, running at the last minute to get just one more ‘special’ gift. She’d pay dearly all year long for having a giving heart. Did it cloud my view of what Christmas was all about? No, it opened my eyes to the unnecessary attachments we hold to the gift giving season.

Have we as a society gotten away from the real reason we even have a Christmas or has the world colored our vision so much so that we feel the need to give give give? I remember AFTER Thanksgiving, the stores would decorate, the streets would become a bastion of light shows, the trees, the street signs would all welcome this gift giving season with open arms.

Now the Christmas holiday is ushered in right after Halloween, forcing us to think that if we don’t get an early start, we won’t ever be able to get that perfect gift for the ones we love. The season is shaded by giving gifts, even if that means taking yourself broke. Buying and spending, all in the name of love? So are you telling me, love has a price tag on its head and if I don’t give you a gift, I don’t love you?

How clouded is that theory? Commercialism will not suck me dry. It will own no part of my soul. When I give, I give year-round, I give of myself, my time, something treasured from my heart that I know will impact a person for years (seconds, minutes, days?) to come. I don’t spend money at Christmas! I buy my son a gift, beau a gift, and everyone else receives my presence.

The only reason I celebrate Christmas, the pagan holiday, is because tradition almost demands it of me. While others are out buying, shopping, feeling good about themselves, sometimes they overlook the reason they are giving in the first place.

Are they doing it to make themselves look good? Others feel good? That is all well and good, but wouldn't a batch of homemade cookies, or hand-knitted scarf, or a simple poem, picture or other treasure from the heart mean more than a gift certificate from Macy's? Top-notch perfume? The 'perfect' purchased gift? Think about the answer you just thought!

Think about it a minute. If everyone truly gave from their heart and soul, (meaning, not spending a dime on the 'show') the stress of the season would be relinquished! Money could be given to HELP people, and EVERYONE would have a warm feeling during this day of celebrating Christ’s birth, and all that His presence meant to the world.

Poetry Sunday~ A True Christmas Story

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.." Isaiah 9:6
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A True Christmas Story

A tale was told one Christmas eve,
Tis' better to give than to receive.
But I have no gift, my pockets bare,
I am but a poet, my poem I'll share.
I rose from my bed on Christmas day,
The sun was peeking down where I lay.
I crept down the stairs so I could see,
Had Santa left gifts under my tree?
I wasn't surprised, left unamazed,
I stood at my empty tree and gazed.
No gifts to give, my heart did ache,
But I would go on for Christmas' sake.
I threw on my clothes, rushed out the door,
Just what is all this excitement for?
I have no gifts to give to thee,
No presents were left beneath my tree.
So how can Christmas be happy and gay?
What is the secret that makes this day?
I swung open the door, to my surprise,
My family was sitting before my eyes.
Greetings exchanged, hugs of embrace,
Smiles that lit the entire place.
"We're glad you're here, accept this gift.
Maybe then your spirits will lift."
I saw in their eyes a special glow,
That sunk my heart, and let me know,
That they were giving with deepest love,
For God had signaled from above.
The spirit of Christmas is a radiant gleam,
That shines through the soul, in a warming beam.
I have felt that warmth throughout the year,
By spreading laughter, joy, and cheer.
But a chosen day was set aside,
For all our arms to open wide.
So the gift I give has no ribbons or bows,
I'll give you peace that warms and glows.
I'll tell you I love you, I'll make you smile,
I'll see that your visit was worth the while.
I returned to my house, I plugged in my tree,
There sat a star gazing down at me.
I looked at the star with wondrous sight,
For God had appeared that Christmas night.
I was given the secret of Christmas eve,
Tis' better to give, than to receive.

Poetry Sunday~ Give Thanks!

Romans 14: 6 He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the Lord; and he that regardeth not the day, to the Lord he doth not regard it. He that eateth, eateth to the Lord, for he giveth God thanks; and he that eateth not, to the Lord he eateth not, and giveth God thanks.


Giving Thanks...

For all we are and all we do
we give our thanks each day.
We live, grow, change and mend
I give my thanks and pray.

I thank my mother and father
for all the things they gave.
Within their hand they held my life
but only One could save.

I led the life He wanted for me
although the road was rough.
I never look back with any regret.
the unpaved journey was tough.

The path was laid before we were born
the forks were all in place.
Which we chose was a cosmic bend
that altered time and space.

I found a cross in my walk
as I wandered through each year.
Whimsical times and frenzied mind
He made it all come clear.

The crystal shell lay in shards
glass was torn to pieces.
He put them all together again
My love for Him never ceases!

I thank the Lord for carrying me
through life’s seasoned highway.
I’m mended now because of Him,
No longer are things done my way.

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It’s His way or No WAY!

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