I'm Thankful

Remember God's bounty in the year. String the pearls of His favor. Hide the dark parts, except so far as they are breaking out in light! Give this one day to thanks, to joy, to gratitude! ~Henry Ward Beecher ~


I’m thankful….

I’m thankful for that one warm ray,
that shines on me to lighten my day.
I’m thankful for the dewy grass
that tickles my toes as I pass.
I’m thankful for the fragrant air,
that wafts on by without a care.
I’m thankful for the torrents of rain
that soaks my skin; releases my pain.
I’m thankful for the budding flower.
that blooms in glory, a scented shower.
I’m thankful for every timeless season,
new bark; new bough with endless reason.
I’m thankful for all the joyful bliss,
that graces my cheek as a gentle kiss.
I’m thankful for being allowed to touch,
that one lost soul whom needs so much.
I’m thankful for every little thing,
that has no worth, but smiles they bring.
I’m thankful for the minuscule,
for that where my soul can rule.
I’m thankful for all my eyes can see,
breathless beauty from God to me.
I’m thankful for all of this and more,
the love of life, the chance to soar!


Luke 17:15-16 “And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God, And fell down on his face at his feet, giving him thanks: and he was a Samaritan.”

Thankful 

I am most thankful for my ever loving God who loves me the way I am – there is no day set aside for loving Him, it’s a second nature to me. 
Here are thirty days of thankfulness all rolled into one!

November
1. I’m thankful for cancer – It helped me to change my life
2. Friends – The very reason I visit the windowed world
3. Writing – Through writing, I find healing
4. My Family – My husband and son
5. My family back home – I haven’t seen them for ten years but I’m thankful for the memories. (yes, I’m doing two fives)
5. My family here – Hubby has a great Christian family that loves me
6. Health – For better or worse it’s a learning curve.
7. Sleep – all eight hours of my sleep is precious and healing
8. Cars that run – twenty-year-old cars that run!
9. Springtime in the fall – In the fifties today, the sixties and a seventy by weeks end
10. Coloring books - for the big kid in me
11. Dependable friends – Friends who stand by what they say
12. Music – a meditative source of healing
13. Herbs – Healing
14. Fruits and vegetables
15. Vitamins –
16. Wisdom – 
17. Knowledge – Knowing the difference
18. Healthy food to eat – The new me!
18. My husband and son both have jobs!
19. My dogs – The stray, Riley, that is still here and my Sassy!
20. Life – All of it
21. Energy – I have the energy of a twenty-year-old
22. Walking – I have the ability to walk.
23. Balance – To know the difference when the scale is tipped
24. Exercise – Yes I’m thankful I can exercise
25. A well-balanced body – It makes exercising less of a chore
26. Sunrises and Sunsets – This is really at the top of my thankful list
27. Heat – On those chilly nights
28. Rain – and the sound of it hitting the windows 
29. Hope, Love, Joy – I know that’s three but I’m thankful for them evenly
30. I’m thankful for my strength!

I am grateful for so much more in my life, to set aside a month to be grateful seems to me inaccurate because I miss so much more of the things I’m thankful for every day of the year.

On this day of being thankful for food and family… let's remember to thank the One who makes loving one another possible and who GIVES to us freely!

All praise and Glory to God

I Am At Peace

Heb. 12: 14 (KJV) “Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:”

I’m At Peace

I’m at peace with the decisions I make. While many will have a hard time seeing eye to eye with me, I will not be swayed by the force that tries to darken my days. 

I woke this morning, and upon reading my email I realized why I’m putting this windowed world on the back burner, to allow it to simmer down. I go right for my Encouragement For the Day, then to my verse for the day, then I move on to my bible reading for the day. 

There was other mail in my box and one, in particular, threw everything I had just read out the window and I was ready to respond in anger and offense. Instead, God’s hand touched my shoulder, He told me to breathe. By choice, I had been away from Facebook for twenty-four hours but my finger immediately went to the FB link and there I was on facebook at six in the morning.

I was expecting the same old-same old ‘this star is dead, oh wait, no he’s not, he’s hanging on, oh wait now he’s really dead’ posts. Instead, I was met with numerous scriptures on peace. A dear friend in Christ shares his walk with Christ and that was the first post that greeted me on FB. A friend of his posted a link to a sermon on ‘Overcoming Offense’! I sat for the next hour watching an excellent sermon that resonated with me and I felt a peace wash over me.

I went on to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving and then backed away from Facebook because it will absorb my day instead of me seeing the true meaning in the very purpose of my living day.

Two takeaways I got from the sermon was,

“What’s born out of love will never fail.”

“The way that seems right to man always leads to death and destruction.”

Prov, 14:12 “There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.” (KJV)

Prov. 16:11 “A just weight and balance are the LORD's: all the weights of the bag are his work.”

I am transformed not by technology; Christ transforms me daily. I live my life for Christ, not for the media, social influence, or the advancement of technology, I live for God. My life is love, which is all I care about these days is love and how love is projected outwardly from me to the world. I won’t be bogged down by offenses or past sins because I’ve been transformed. If you’ve known me over the years, I hope the one thing you see in me is God. You don’t see disease, you don’t see a distracted woman babbling, you see God in me! That is the peace I want to be projected to the world.

Prov. 16: 20 “He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the LORD, happy is he.”

Needless to say, I did not respond to the email that angered me or to the person who offended me. After hearing the sermon I just wanted to praise and rejoice and go on with my day, balancing what needs to be weighed in my heart and soul. 

God does not call us to offend or be offended. He calls on us to portray Him and anything else you spew opposite of love is foolish pride in yourselves. God knew that our flesh was weak. He knew we would have an ego that would allow our flesh to rule over us and guide us through life. That’s the very reason He used the message of Prov. 14 and 16 scripture TWICE so we could understand the importance of putting aside our pride and ego and just let Him live in us and through us. 

Prov. 16:25 “There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.”

If I allow myself to be offended by every little thing, then I let satan and his work win. He’s cunning these days, disguised in Christians wearing the veil of righteousness but when exposed by the pulling off of the veil, their ugliness shows through. I will not be the person who does the unveiling, you yourself have to look in the mirror every day and who you see when you first get out of bed is who God sees. No makeup, no perfected hair, no deception, He sees right through you. THAT is the person God loves, flaws and all!

As I near Thanksgiving I am so grateful for everything in my life I can’t list it in just one post. But the thing I am MOST grateful for? God LOVES me flaws and all! HE sees perfection in me and it is up to me to show the world what perfection looks like through my flaws.

God is great, God is good, I always pray, as I know I should! 

May God bless you this Thanksgiving and may you find the light you seek in the darkness. Be full! 

The Holidays Approach

Job 22:21 “Acquaint now thyself with him, and be at peace: thereby good shall come unto thee.”

The Holidays Approach

I can hear the kitchen utensils clanging, I can envision the family get-togethers, I can almost inhale the food cooking in the ovens across America as we hurriedly prepare the holiday feast for the family. Yes, many prepare a week in advance!

As much as we’re a nation addicted to Big Pharma drugs we’re also an overweight nation addicted to food. As the holiday nears, this is the season where people overeat without guilt. They stuff their faces in the name of ‘it was there’ and as Christmas strolls around the twenty added pounds are already seen in the tighter belt and jeans. The guilt won’t be felt until January first when people make a haphazardly New Year resolution to lose all that was gained setting themselves up for a letdown when they fail.

I am one week away from my eleven-month mark. It’s the time of the month I mark another successful notch in my belt and sticking to my protocol that changed the shape, literally, of my future. The holidays will be more challenging than all eleven months together have been. It will be where his mom pushes ham balls and fudge brownies in his face for his upcoming birthday, and where the family gets together to celebrate the Christmas day meal. 

Since they put a halt to exchanging gifts, that is all Christmas day is anymore, a day of food and family gathering. It’s not like we haven’t spent MANY occasions with the family this year (funeral, wedding, visits) So, the only reason I see celebrating Christmas this year is that I’m alive! And I am ever so grateful for having been allowed these eleven months to change me! I have a lifetime of gratitude, to confine my gratefulness to thirty-days seems menial to me after finding I have a disease that would’ve shattered many.

Please don’t rag on me how December 25th is Jesus’ birthday and a just cause to celebrate the day. Christmas is a pagan holiday set in stone by man. Factually, Jesus’ birthday has been somewhat proven that it didn’t take place in December and hence the reason I don’t celebrate Christmas as Jesus’ birthday. It’s a day not much unlike Thanksgiving, a day of family, food, and gratitude. To each his own. 

While I see my husband trying to change also with his toxic soda consumption, and him wanting to take his own vitamin supplements, we as a family here are embracing change; that is until the family get-together. My hubby will be weak against the wiles of his family as they intimidate him with delicious food. I can’t expect him to be as strong as I am and seriously, I don’t think there are many people who could hold out on sugar consumption (among other things) for eleven months. I’ve been quite impressed with my willpower this year. Where was I hiding all of these years?

I will need all of my armor to face these next thirty-five days and beyond. Instead of stressing over the visit with family, I’m preparing what meal I will take with me on Christmas day like a mega salad with all the fixins and I’m sure the hosts will understand that I had to bring my own dish if they want us there. I’m also preparing what I’ll make for the carnivores of my family and for me on Thanksgiving! I’ll have a rainbow of vegetables and they’ll have meat and potatoes, easy peasy.

I might even try to attempt a modified pumpkin pie with coconut milk and stevia. My only cheat of the year just might be the flour crust. I won’t have the added cool-whip but there is no reason the guys can’t, that’s if they even attempt to eat a modified pie.

Another challenge I’ll face is having a stress free holiday. I sometimes let the smallest of things bother me but this year I am selfishly focusing on ME and my continued healing, in this scenario there is no room for stress. As the month unfolds there seems to be a lot of stress-less events taking place already; it’s as if God knows me so well he’s already set in place the good things that need to happen to keep me stress-free. I’ll elaborate at a later date but for now…I’m off to have me a screen less stress-free day! 

God bless one and all! 

Pss. 4:8 “I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.”

Feeling Sad

 Writing this, thinking of Christopher I look out the window and see this. 

Col. 3:15 “And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.”

A Sad Day

I could feel the sadness brewing at the beginning of the week but when Thanksgiving arrived it hit me like a Mack truck running me over, and my body left to lie on the cold concrete as the truck kept going. I always get sad around the holidays missing my family but it hit me harder this year I think because my one and only living son had to work.

I could feel the hustle and bustle coming through my screen as my days are not much more than sitting behind a screen writing my feelings down or cleaning and scrubbing the house to my liking as I prepare for the Christmas season. I just like a clean house so it tends to keep me busy on a daily basis.

It was 34 years ago on Thanksgiving day that I lost my firstborn son. I often think of what my son would be like had he been able to live in this crazy world. Sometimes I’m thankful that he didn’t have to endure years of pain with me as a failing mother and that he resided with his heavenly Father who would shield him from the world's animosity; it doesn’t hurt any less, after all, Christopher was still born!

It’s too long of a story to get into but the gist of it is, the sharp stinging pains started on Thanksgiving Day in 1982, and a doctor visit the next day confirmed my nine-month fetus was lying in a tomb, my body. A week would pass before the dead lifeless baby was delivered and it was one of those changing points in my life that affected me for life. 

Every Thanksgiving Day has been a kind of memorial day for me (no one else) when I think of that day. I don’t cling to the sadness just for that day but the days that followed leading up to Christopher’s birthday, December 2nd. This year was no different as my husband and I sat at an empty table alone, eating our scrumptious dinner that I was ever so grateful to be eating.

I consider myself to be a strong person but there are two days that buckle me to my knees and that is Astri’s birthday and Christopher’s birthday, my two angel babies that didn’t have work to do on earth but had plenty to do in heaven!

So maybe you can sympathize with me as I eagerly made the turkey, the mashed potatoes, yams, and dressing this year but the meal when done, would only fill my husband and my stomach. Tears streamed down my face during prayer as I was missing so much, feeling so empty waiting to be filled. This was Adam’s first Thanksgiving away from the table and I felt the emptiness in the core of my bones.

I watched as family after family rejoiced in spending time with one another. Picture after picture of sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles all gathering around for what was to culminate in a family tradition. Family time together, that is what Thanksgiving is to many people but I do know a few who celebrated alone and maybe no one offered a prayer for them (but me) because they were too busy being thankful for what was in front of them.

I think in some way I shaped my own family tradition of loneliness on Thanksgiving Day and not really understanding or comprehending what Family Tradition is all about. My family back home celebrated in their own non-traditional way. My brother invited my mother to his house, my other brother went to his families home, while my other two brothers and sister all ate alone, like me. (My one brother is homeless, the other alone in Tennessee, my sister's kids all ate at their friend's house, I guess, because tradition is not the norm for my blood family)

It’s pretty sad when you miss family because of a death and they’re no longer with you to celebrate, or you live too far away to get together for the turkey day celebration, but it is quite downright pathetic when you have a big uncaring family and you’re left alone on the holiday even without a simple holiday greeting of Happy Thanksgiving! Just so you know, *I* DID make the effort to extend a greeting to those blood family members who are my ‘friends’ on facebook. A huge family and two replies, wow that made my day.

Now my virtual family all replies when you say Happy Thanksgiving to make you feel like some part of their family and celebration; that takes the sting off of feeling depressed during the holiday. Had it not been for them, I would have probably spent the day puddled in tears, feeling hurt and throwing myself a pity party.

My writing break is not over yet but I just had to get this off of my chest and writing is my only healing spot. Thank you all for reading but most off all THANK YOU for allowing me to see traditions through your eyes and letting me know that families DO exist in the world today! Thank you for sharing you with me!

See it or not, this cross was for me. 

Quotation Saturday ~ Thanksgiving

Pss. 100:4 “Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.”

CHANGE

“Therefore, dear Sir, love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you. For those who are near you are far away... and this shows that the space around you is beginning to grow vast.... be happy about your growth, in which of course you can't take anyone with you, and be gentle with those who stay behind; be confident and calm in front of them and don't torment them with your doubts and don't frighten them with your faith or joy, which they wouldn't be able to comprehend. Seek out some simple and true feeling of what you have in common with them, which doesn't necessarily have to alter when you yourself change again and again; when you see them, love life in a form that is not your own and be indulgent toward those who are growing old, who are afraid of the aloneness that you trust.... and don't expect any understanding; but believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.” 
― Rainer Maria Rilke

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.” 
― Paulo Coelho

“We can't be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don't have something better.” 
― C. JoyBell C.

INSPIRATION

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.” 
― Kurt Vonnegut

“It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.” 
― Lou Holtz

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That's the only thing you should be trying to control.” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert

“And still, after all this time,
The sun never says to the earth,
"You owe Me."

Look what happens with
A love like that,
It lights the Whole Sky.” 
― Hafez

“You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” 
― Marcus Aurelius

SPIRIT-FILLED

“The greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread but there are many more dying for a little love. The poverty in the West is a different kind of poverty -- it is not only a poverty of loneliness but also of spirituality. There's a hunger for love, as there is a hunger for God.” 
― Mother Teresa

“Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love,
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.” 
― Francis of Assisi

“How hurtful it can be to deny one's true self and live a life of lies just to appease others.” 
― June Ahern

“What you are is God's gift to you, what you become is your gift to God.” 
― Hans Urs von Balthasar

THANKSGIVING

“Because thankfulness is the tonic that always cures the cancers of greed, envy and jealousy, it should be taken in liberal doses daily.” 
― Craig D. Lounsbrough

“Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.” 
― W.T. Purkiser

“I pray for you, that all your misgivings will be melted to thanksgivings. Remember that the shadow a thing casts often far exceeds the size of the thing itself (especially if the light be low on the horizon) and though some future fear may strut brave darkness as you approach, the thing itself will be but a speck when seen from beyond. Oh, that He would restore us often with that 'aspect from beyond,' to see a thing as He sees it, to remember that He dealeth with us as with sons.” 
― Jim Elliot

“The Christian who walks with the Lord and keeps constant communion with Him will see many reason for rejoicing and thanksgiving all day long.” 
― Warren W. Wiersbe

May the Spirit of Thanksgiving dwell in you today and always, God Bless!
~ Joni

Col. 3:15 “And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.”

Change is Coming

Isaiah 26:9 (NIV)

My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you. When your judgments come upon the earth, the people of the world learn righteousness.

Change is Coming

Change is coming in the air like a veiled morning fog. I can see it in the spiraling leaves being swept by the wind. I can feel it in the temperatures ever changing with the season. I can smell it blowing in the air the sweet scent of change that will wash over me as a waterfall.

I felt the change coming and I wanted it to be swift but as you know, my plans are not Gods plans and here I sit today on my 201st post of the year as I barrel toward my 203rd goal of posts so I can rest. After this post, I will end with Quotation Saturday and Poetry Sunday, then be on my way to Holy day. I’ve watched as my stats flew through the roof this year and as I love my supportive friends very much, facebook was not the only source that had me soaring. 

I’ve had to bear a lot this year as people have either liked or disliked what I’ve said and it’s been an interesting year tolerating what all of you have either said or not said. Now it is my turn to reflect on me not what others do or say or how they acted and reacted. It has been a year of scars and blemishes by people knowingly or unknowingly saying things that cut me and now I must go and heal. The New Year cannot come without my healing taking place. 

I tried to stay away from Social Media when it got too bad, the news when it got too loud, and the world when it got too hard. I’ve seen friends disappear and new friends emerge. All in all the year has been good to me, pain wise and otherwise, I’ve survived.

I feel like a lone wolf who’s been caught in a bear trap, freed and released to wander in the wilderness among the animals of the forest. Sorry humans, for relinquishing you to the animal species, but I have not seen much humanistic display this year; I’ll have to dig and look back to see if any existed.

I won’t get back to you on that because the change calls for me to find a nice cove to hibernate in peeking out only to retrieve nourishment to sustain me through the winter. Nourishment to my soul can only be found one way and it isn’t anywhere connected to a screen and keyboard. 

I have some serious health issues to contend with in the coming new year but I’m not at liberty to go into anything before the holiday season. Maybe that will be my new year blog beginning seeking out people who relate to what I’m experiencing but for now, my little semi-hibernation cove will have to do. 

My Thanksgiving will be spent in thankfulness with my husband. We’re not going to have a humongous meal like in prior years just something simple where we have plenty of leftovers for the next day, not the next month. My son will have to work on turkey day from nine to five so it will be a bit different by not having him in the house as my helper. 

I know what you’re thinking, working on Thanksgiving Day? Well, he’ll be out of a job in a couple of weeks because of the store closing down so he’s trying to make all the money he can to prepare for the interim of joblessness. As of December 2, he’ll have been there five months and the young man has worked his heart out in those five months, so I can put away any selfishness I have in wanting him home as I find a new way of life in the empty nest.

I’ll also be preparing for new ventures in the coming year so during this holiday season I’ll be enjoying the breathing room necessary to carry me through the lone wolf syndrome. May you enjoy the sights, sounds, aromas, tastes and magnificent wonders of a Holy Season and always remember when you’re feeling selfish, greedy, and prideful that Jesus sacrificed His life for you so you would think of others before yourself. 

God Bless You ALL!

1 Timothy 6:6-10 (NIV)

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

The Season of JOY!

Pss. 51:8 “Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.”

“If you have music inside you, you have God in you.” ~ Joni 

Define what brings you joy.

As I’m winding down my goal setting of 203 blog posts this year, I’m leading you to music, joy, and happiness all found with the LOVE of the Lord. I know this might sound radical but it is my life and the way I live on a daily basis until something negative smacks me upside the head. As you know, this year has been one of them kind of years.

I pushed through with post after positive post never relegating myself to the negativity out there taking over the world. I can only say, there is only one source to that JOY and happiness on a daily basis and that is finding the love of God in the depth of your soul and find music to be a natural healer on days that don’t measure up for you.

If you’ve read yesterday’s blog, you’ll read how music has a way of healing and I posted links to show proof that music is used in many healing capacities. I know that God is the ultimate healer and since we can’t see Spirit or soul we can only FEEL Him to get to KNOW Him, music is His way of intimately touching us through the rhythmic vibrations.

If you say that sad songs make you cry, they make you reminisce, that is all part of God’s plan to make you feel and sense the world around you and Him IN you. God does not ask us not to cry. He doesn’t order us to be stoic and never show emotion, no, tears are a perfect form of allowing God to stream down your face.

Grief is another form of God showing us that emotions are okay to express. When you hear a song, or think about a loved one you lost (often when a song is played) God is planting a seed of remembrance in your heart that has you directly touching Him. 

Joy and Love are other avenues of expressing God from within your soul. I’d like to do a musical experiment of sorts if you don’t mind. You’ll feel something with each link and I’d love to hear your feedback, if not, take to heart what you experience in the sincerest form and allow them to help you grow wherever you may need.

Click this link: bad vibrations?

Good vibrations? 

Intimacy with God - 

I can almost 100% guarantee you didn’t make it through the bad song, your heart stirred at the good vibration one, but your soul QUIVERED at the seconds or minutes you spent in the intimacy with God link. THAT my friends is the musical Healer in Action!

My mission this year was to bring about a change of heart in each and every one of you through every blog post. Whether my words solidified what you already believed or my words touched you in any way or maybe it was the brief light that you allowed in your door and it helped awaken you to a truth you’ve never known.

I’ll admit first hand that I had no intention or plans of going this far this year with my blog post, but as many of you can see with your own eyes, God had different plans, as always. Now my plans, after the 203rd post is to take a little break if God allows. Maybe I’ve given you all that He needed me to and will see that I’ve exerted myself to the extent that it is time for a refresher. 

The Advent season will come upon me and I’ll be on a quiet sabbatical of sorts as I pray and meditate on the season in my own way. Remember, Advent is not for Catholics only. I have my prayerful meditative month before the celebration of Christmas day as man sees it and it turns into what God wants from ME not what I want from Him or from man. 

Writing has been my lifelong journey since before I ever had the internet, a place to voice the words God places on my heart to convey to you, a people in need of an inspirational message. While families gather for Thanksgiving around their table with loved ones or alone, please know God is always in your heart to warm you this season.  

Pss. 51:12 “Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.”

As aromas carry through the house of turkey and pumpkin pies as we give thanks, it will ring in the season of scents with pinecones and cookies. Always remember the reason for the season. Not the manmade appointed season, the real season of the Birth of Christ we read about in our Holy Bibles. Let Jesus’ birth carry you into a New Year, a new beginning a new perspective on life and the Spirit that will follow you long after you’ve left this physical world behind.

In God’s Holy name I pray that you have a Blessed Thanksgiving and a JOYOUS Christmas. Much of my time will be spent here praising the One and only keeper of my soul. 

God Bless you all.

Pss. 66:1 “Make a joyful noise unto God, all ye lands:”

Blessed Bounty

Joni's blessed bounty of 2012

Pss. 136: 25 “Who giveth food to all flesh: for his mercy endureth for ever.”

He’s In Here

As many people think of Christ up there looking down on all you do, or over there watching you, or even beside you walking with you, that’s a good feeling because you know He’s on the journey of life with you.

Now think of Him right here, IN you instead of over, beside or under. It’s like this: Say you’re invited to dinner and the host has a bountiful display of food for you, over there. That’s what reading the bible is like, the bible is over there sitting, just waiting for you to partake from. 

Okay, now the host says the food is ready, go and fix yourself a plate. You walk toward your bible, pick it up and begin reading. As you fix your plate you put all of the good food on there and then she says, don’t forget the broccoli, but you hate broccoli but this looks so nice you oblige her and take a few stalks. 

You begin reading your bible, filling yourself with all of the good stuff, happy, cheerful, loving good stuff then it happens, you’re full but have yet to touch the broccoli. There are some dark, bitter tasting words in the bible that you just want to gloss over but you don’t want to leave the host hanging so you indulge.

Oh dear, you’ve touched on rape, incest, murder, and polygamy. You’re tasting the bitterness of the broccoli and just want to spit it out and pretend you never had it but you begin to chew and chew and read and read so you can understand that ALL of the bible is the Lord’s buffet, broccoli and all. Mingled with the good is the ugly and all those words are left for you to discern whether you continue in the meal.

Now, you’ve finished the entire meal, you’ve read the entire bible, sat it on the table and wiped your mouth of any leftover gravy that might be on your lips. You walk away full, filled with the meal you’ve just eaten, filled with the words you’ve just read. You can see it as a fictional tale because honestly, some of that stuff was over the top fairy tale stuff. A whale swallowing a man and for three days he was in the stomach. A man called to build a big ark to carry two of every animal away from the impending flood, a man lying with the lions. Give me a break, right? (Oh there’s more crazy stuff for you to read)

You thank the gracious host and are on your way home, only to realize instead of leaving the bible on the table, you’ve taken it with you and it’s sitting in the other seat as a companion on the ride home. Your mind starts going over the wonderful meal you had with the mashed potatoes and delicious brown gravy, the juicy steak, meaty turkey and ham all of which melted in your mouth for you to savor on the way home.

The vegetables were a bit over the top with the likes of spinach and okra, eggplant and corn, carrots and yams, then the broccoli, the bitter tasting broccoli which climbed back up into your throat allowing you, in the quiet confines of your car, to let out a loud releasing burp. Ah, now you feel better. 

As you approach home, you glance over at your bible, you realize that there was some truth in there that you might want to believe like loving your neighbor, turning the other cheek when someone hurts you and forgiveness, yeah you like that one, the ability to forgive.

You arrive home. Do you leave the bible in the car, take the book with you, or place it in the trunk because it really wasn’t something you’re into? Your mind lingers to the host, the creator of such a grand meal that the remnants are still lingering in you. The piercing eyes, the heart of gold, the sweet laughter of a child on the merry-go-round, the host is lingering.

Imagine this: God being the host. He’s created such a grand meal in  the way of planet earth, giving you everything to partake of, the good, the bad and the ugly bitter tasting remnants. Man and woman were happy at one time with all of this bounty, so much so we had a day of celebration called Thanksgiving for all that we have.

Today, man has left the host in the trunk of the car pretending they didn’t partake of any of the hogwash they read over dinner. Some people got out of the car remembering the bible and took it with them carrying it close to their heart and went in the house to place it on the table, so it would always be close to them. 

What I’m saying is this, some people put Him back there to take Him for a ride, some put Him over there so they can glance at him once in awhile, while some see Him up there looking over them as they journey through life and me, I see Him IN HERE, my heart, my soul, my veins to always carry Him and His words with me and savor every last drop. How about you? 

I'm Thankful! Happy Thanksgiving!

1 Chron. 16: 8 “Give thanks unto the LORD, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the people.”

HappyThanksgiving

It is with joy and not sadness that I approach Thanksgiving this year. I’ll probably be filled with sadness the closer we get to Christmas when I get the blues because I can’t share yet another Christmas holiday back home with my family. I’m okay with that, it’s just the songs bring about a melancholy spirit that hovers around the Christmas trimmings.

I’m an optimist so I do try to see the good in everything. For some reason that gives me a sense of peace that washes over me like a soft summer rain. So this Thanksgiving I have to reflect on what I am thankful for. I know, I know, I just lost my father and CAN I find something to be thankful for? Yes, yes I can!

Yes I’m thankful for all of the normal things: a home, a roof over my head, food in the refrigerator and heat for the house. I am also thankful for more:

*I’m thankful that I had the years I did with my dad.

*I’m thankful that we shared the stars, the storms, and the rain.

*I’m thankful my dad stood by me for so many years, then allowed me to spread my wings and move far far away from home, knowing full well he’d never have the chance to see me again.

*I’m thankful my dad loved my mother so much and instilled in her the strength she would need to get through his death.

*I’m thankful my dad found God!

*I’m thankful my husband finally decided to marry me!

*I’m thankful for my son who has grown to be his own man.

*I’m thankful for shooting stars as a way to communicate with my dad.

*I’m thankful for my dog that has a wonderful loving family surrounding her on cold nights.

*I’m thankful for Facebook as a form of communicating with my family back home and the chance to watch my nieces (and nephews) children grow without ever meeting them.

*I’m thankful for my spiritual friends, the writing ones and the ones that I met through God’s leading them to me or me to them, who in a virtual way, wrap their loving arms around me and comfort me in amazing ways via Facebook.

*I’m thankful for Auntie Sue & Papa John and for Ben, for showing me their love extends past the virtual screen!

Let me just say, I didn’t need to do the 30 days of thankfulness because I am thankful 365 days a year; for being alive, for sharing God’s word and my faith, and for friends and family!

May each and every one of you have a safe a Blessed Thanksgiving!!!

I Give Thanks

For all we are and all we do

we give our thanks each day.

We live, grow, change and mend

I give my thanks and pray.

I thank my mother and father

for all the things they gave.

Within their hand they held my life

but only One could save.

I led the life He wanted for me

although the road was rough.

I never look back with any regret

the rocky roads were tough.

The path was laid before we were born

the forks were all in place.

Which we chose was a cosmic bend

that altered time and space.

I found a cross in my walk

as I wandered through each year.

Whimsical times and frenzied mind

He made it all seem clear.

The crystal shell lay in shards

glass was torn to pieces.

He put them all together again

my love for Him never ceases!

I thank the Lord for carrying me

through my most daunting days.

I’m mended now because of Him,

a path of new-found ways.

Tis the Season to be...

Depressed?

Neh. 2: 2 Wherefore the king said unto me, Why is thy countenance sad, seeing thou art not sick? this is nothing else but sorrow of heart. Then I was very sore afraid,

While many of you find this the season of joy, sharing and caring with family, there are so many others out there that don’t see it as the season of joy. Depression hits an all time high during the holiday season and thanks to massive commercialism we’re hit with, it doesn’t help.

It seems like as soon as Halloween hits, Christmas is here in the blink of an eye and we wonder where the time went. I saw Christmas commercials BEFORE Halloween so the media coverage of joy, joy, joy begins in October thrusting what is deemed normal upon people, people who don’t feel the joy of the season; we’re left behind with a burst of depression.

I’m taking a course on Writing the Personal Essay and this has brought a joy to my life. I can now hone in on the craft of telling my personal story, hopefully with more concise precision. The class has hardly begun so don’t expect perfection right away. Why am I telling you this? Because of something I read in one of the books for the course.

Take little bits of memories and write something that comes to mind: Thanksgiving, turkey, family, food. From those four things it will lead you to more of the memory surfacing. In my case, nothing really great surfaced from the memory.

I have four brothers, a sister, a mother and father. Thanksgiving was the only day we sat around the table to have a feast of a meal. We said grace, but again, it is the only day of the year we EVER said grace. I remember wine being served. Did I remember the joy of the day; the celebration of being with my family? No, I remember the jell-o for dessert.

I’m wondering if never having family joy is going to be a catapult of some pretty ugly stories as I venture along this six-week class? I’m also wondering if this is the reason for many people to see this as a season of depression. Maybe they lost a loved one who can’t be here with them, maybe they have bad memories of their childhood and as the season gets underway, memories, not all good ones surface and take over creating a ‘Season of Depression’.

Sadness swells up inside of me right around thanksgiving. Not only for the non-memorable memories but for the more memorable memories that creep up like worms out of a hole.

One memory at the forefront is the loss of my unborn child. Eight and a half months pregnant my child was STILL born. That hung an ugly memory around my neck and has clung there for thirty-two years now.

Grief is not something you just get over and I believe there is no amount of time that can whitewash the event. Whether it is through death, or the loss of a husband or friend that is no longer a part of your life. The holiday becomes the season of grief.

I don’t allow the grief to ruin the holiday for others, instead I carry my grief like a sponge, absorb everything alone, smile and remain appearing happy on the outside but tightly woven grief is wrapped around my heart.

I can’t help it, I miss my son, I miss my mother and father back home in Maryland, I miss seeing and talking to my sister, I miss hugging my nieces and nephews who grew up without me in their lives. As warped as they are, I miss my family!

Now don’t get me wrong, I am extremely thankful that God saw to it that I was placed in a loving family so I could actually experience what a family does on any given holiday, a normal family anyway. I’ve had the love of this family for 11 years now, but only six years of actually being around them on the physical level; that was when we moved to Nebraska.

I had always wondered if I made the right decision in taking my son, Adam Omega, away from my not so normal family and placing him in Texas then moving to Nebraska. I got a somewhat confirmation last week when the mailman asked about my sons name. Low and behold, he shares the ‘unique’ name also! Adam never thought in a million years that he’d EVER meet another person with that name and there he was, delivering mail with the exact same name! I don’t believe in coincidence, so there was more to the meeting than meets the eye. I know now I made the right decision, but I can still miss my family.

I’m thankful Steven only has to work four hours on Thanksgiving (as the previous years he worked a full day AND Black Friday). This year he works 9-4 turkey day and is off Friday giving me the hope that he’ll help Adam and I get ready for Christmas.

I’m so not ready for Christmas. It’s going to be a lot different this year and it will just get more and more different in years to come. It looks like once again my writing will be the saving grace to a more memorable holiday.

So if you’re the kind of person who is surrounded by a family during the holiday, embrace them, be joyful and celebrate the love you are fortunate enough to have surrounding you. Also remember the people that have no one and nothing, remember those who are grieving, remember those who are missing their families. It’s not all about joy, joy, joy to them. We’re grateful for every little morsel of love that is bestowed upon us. Be a light of love for others.

This doesn’t have to be a season of depression, I CAN and WILL make it a memorable season of joy. With the upcoming season of Advent, I will reflect on the true meaning of the season.

God Bless…

Job 6:10 Then should I yet have comfort; yea, I would harden myself in sorrow: let him not spare; for I have not concealed the words of the Holy One.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Taken from FaceBook

***

This is Thanksgiving in America, the day we celebrate with family and give thanks for our blessings throughout the year. While this year I am spending it alone with Adam, no turkey, no hubbub, no family, I still find I am thankful for many things.

Some corporations, while always thinking about money and not family, have made workers work on this day. It’s always about the almighty dollar; and we wonder why God wants to end this world?

This will be my first ever Thanksgiving alone. A time for family is going to be spent with Adam and I preparing for Christmas. The nation commercializes Halloween to the hilt with adult costumes (that should be reserved for the intimacy of a bedroom, I might add) candy, gore, and the celebration of the evil; while Thanksgiving gets overlooked and we segue right into Christmas. (note: Christmas music begins playing in stores the day after Halloween.)

While back home my mother and father will venture off to my brothers, my sister and her husband will go to my brothers also, my niece will go to her mother in laws, and my other brother will relish the time surrounded by his family. Two of my brothers are alone this day.

Stevens family will gather together and celebrate with the turkey and all the trimmings but most of all, each other. I can almost savor the aroma coming from their houses as laughter and chit chat erupts about how great or bad this year has been. Turkey and dressing, pumpkin pies and cranberry sauce; the heat from the oven making many peek outside to feel some kind of breeze and coolness. Ahh, it must be nice to feel a part of a family.

And me, I’ll work my little butt off, with Adam running errands of up and down the stairs, to bring Christmas to life for us. Adam doesn’t mind not having Thanksgiving today, he’s almost 17 and his joy is being home from school. We did have a thrown together turkey meal on Sunday as our thanksgiving, but it just wasn’t the same. No homemade dressing, no mashed potatoes from REAL potatoes, carrots from a CAN, can you believe THAT? But we were together and that is what mattered.

I knew this was going to be a long week, since the almighty dollar calls to the big corporations and franchises. BUT, I am thankful for a great year that has passed by, it seems, quicker than a meteor whizzing through the sky.

As I try not to get depressed over being alone this day, I have to remind myself what a great year this has been and be Thankful for all the blessings God has given us.

The year began with the healing of the infection that was making my body inoperable, by May I was almost myself and the Blessings of my Church family did not go unnoticed!

While Steven, after being blind for three years, had his sight restored in Oct. 2011, some time in March, he had an infection. Many backbreaking trips to Omaha, a tire blowout; we again were delivered blessings in way of new tires, and the healing of the infection.

In July, Steven had his driver’s license back in his hand. Limited to a 40-mile radius, it could have saddened us, but instead we looked up and the blessing was that he found a job within the forty-mile radius. He cannot drive at night (another restriction) but the place he works for is willing to work around that. (they’re open 24 hrs. a day, so this was good)

While I sit here today, feeling sorry for myself, I’m reminded of all the blessings we’ve had this year, and my spirits lift and I’m Grateful to my God for everything. This is why I’ll skip right over Thanksgiving and head into a celebration of Christmas. I’m also reminded that every Day I’m Thankful, and need no one day set aside to celebrate it. Now the whole family thing is over rated and my being alone with no family this day hurts. BUT I am THANKFUL they are alive and healthy, somewhat healthy, but they are alive to celebrate this day and give THANKS!

More to be thankful for this day, from my FaithWriters family:

Lord we lift up Joni to you.
  We have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love toward all the saints, We do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in our prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might.  Ephesians 1:15-19
We pray for great blessing, wisdom and protection for Joni and a sense of your overwhelming presence and love. That they would know for certain in their hearts that they have been forgiven and released from any shame and guilt. Help Joni to see who they are in Christ. Place a strong desire in Joni to know more about you and a hunger for your Word. Open the doors for Joni that lead to you and close the doors that lead away. In Jesus mighty name we pray.

Amem

The Day After: Part II

Jude 1:25 All glory to him who alone is God, our Savior through Jesus Christ our Lord. All glory, majesty, power, and authority are His before all time, and in the present, and beyond all time! Amen.  (NLT)

Through all of this, I have been literally brought to my knees in humble prayer. Thanksgiving was a day to give THANKS and nothing short of all thanks, was given to Him.

I awoke in normal fashion, wobbling through the house while opening the blinds (with the wand) to see such a wonderful ray-stretching sunrise. I waited for sounds to fill the house before I did much else. The sounds began just before eight a.m., and after wishing all my writing friends a happy Thanksgiving via facebook, my day went on.

I made it to the kitchen, as Steven woke and opened all the blinds, via pulling the string, to the very top of the window (that’s his new thing since gaining his sight back.) He came to help me load the bird without wings into the baking pan. It was ten by the time I finished cleaning Tom turkey and prepping it, then Steven took over like a mad man!

I mean that in a good way. He wanted me to rest and as he knew my wobbly legs wouldn’t hold up to the normally exhausting day, he took charge in a way a blind man never could have. Well he could, but it would have taken him extra time, but how glorious is it to see your once blind man, scurry through the house looking like he had sprouted wings on his feet?

We were invited to his moms house, and my dear friend from church wanted me to come give thanks with her and her family, but with Steven still acclimating to sight, he wanted to take the day in and drink from the scents of the day and the hurriedness of making a holiday meal. He just wanted peace and serenity and to share it with Adam and I.

As we sat to eat the hearty meal, after our prayers, we each took a turn saying what we are thankful for. Adam went first, me second and Steven cheated by saying he was thankful for everything! :) Yeah, the ol guy is coming back at full force. Although the doctor won’t allow him to play his sax, and the Christmas get together with family out here on the farm, might be put off, we move forward. He will be fitted for glasses come December, and this will give him much more vision! The doc also told us that the eye can take up to six months to a year before it is completely healed; thus the need for prayer continues.

We normally put up the tree the day after Thanksgiving (that has been our tradition for nine years) but this year, this day is a day of rest. He can’t lift more than ten pounds and well, I’m completely incapacitated on being able to lift and walk up stairs, so we will get it done when we get it done. We’re in no hurry, but I think I have someone here who is eager to SEE the tree and all its lights! AMEN!

Christmas holds none of the old world traditions for me. To me, the tree is a symbol of life. The lights to me are a symbol of the Light of the world. The ornamentation of the tree holds memories of each year that passes. The manger is the symbol of a Savior who was born (although it may have not happened on the 25th of December.) Christmas has never centered on Santa, and since my son was born on the 27th of December, it has always been about Light, love, joy, and birth!

I send to you the joy that you find within your heart to celebrate a season that has been overly commercialized, over sold and ticketed as a gateway into the New Year with drinking, lasciviousness, and idol worship. May you find your family’s honored tradition, respected and embraced. And may you understand that love and Light is what this season is all about! Give thanks this Christmas. Allow Thanks and a giving heart to live all year long. And may you all be blessed with a living miracle.

The Day After

Ps 63:5 You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy.  (NLT)

Here it is Thanksgiving past already. The day we all await to arrive, it comes and goes so quick, then you’re left with still feeling full upon wake-up. That’s right Thanksgiving has come and gone and now we hurriedly move towards Christmas; but wait, let’s recap the building up to Thanksgiving so we don’t allow the day of gratitude to pass by without a mention.

As many of my readers know, I often open the vein into my world, and I thought, “What better time, than when you are all at home ignoring me today?” But I might get a few who care to actually scurry in here as you sit at your computers. Welcome to my world.

Right before Halloween, I began hearing Christmas music playing on Wal Marts sound system. There is no time to waste when it comes to the Day of Giving and getting, stress, and noise, lost joy, and loud toys. I’m not a bah-hum bug by any means, but if man is going to decide that Dec. 25 is Jesus’ birthday, shouldn’t we show Him SOME respect and celebrate it in a proper fashion? Nah, man is too weak for that. The respect we show the Lord is by televising women in bras and panties, waltzing down the runway? And men sitting there drool faced lusting in great pleasure? And human beings allowing this? A sad sad society we live in!

Thanksgiving is left in the dark as we speed right through the Thankful meal to get to the stores either at midnight or early morning as we absorb like a sponge, all that the media has fed us and we fall prey to the demon that grabs us. We are mighty thirsty for what that demon offers and I sit here, just enjoying life. Happy to wake up and see a glorious sunrise, not caught up in a world that wants me to conform to their rituals and self absorbed habits.

Some of you may also know that Thanksgiving was going to be extra special for Steven, Adam and myself, since Steven got his sight restored, and by golly it was the best Thanksgiving I’ve had possibly in all my life. But it was not without its twists. Since the many Omaha trips have taken a serious toll on my body, I sat planted on the sofa, unable to do much except enjoy the comfort of my heating pad.

The month of October was full of pain from a tooth that was screaming for help, and by mid-October, my legs and back could really feel the strain of seven hours of tense filled driving, over five times that month. By Halloween, and the success of the cornea transplant was a go, my body collapsed, literally. My legs wobbly like rubber-bands, pain shooting in my mouth, everything that could possibly attack me, did and had its pleasure.

My fight, was to see a dentist, done! Tooth gone and pain in my mouth somewhat subsiding. Then my numb legs, I knew I had to see the doctor; I thought, this is pretty serious. I CAN NOT WALK, and when I do, it’s five steps and I feel like my legs are jell-o. Blood tests came back all clean. Now I await the x-ray results and hopefully SOMEONE will give me SOMETHING to relieve this pain and misery, or it is GOODBYE CHRISTMAS for me!!!

Not that Christmas is all about shopping to me, it is all about bright lights and celebrating the appointed birthday of my Lord! I love the lights, I love the living mangers, I love Church and my church family, because they are whom He placed in my life, MY life, at this time, since no one else (except a selected few) has taken notice.

All Glory and praise to the living Spirit that dwells in me!

Happy Thanksgiving ~ I'm Thankful... ~

Remember God's bounty in the year. String the pearls of His favor. Hide the dark parts, except so far as they are breaking out in light! Give this one day to thanks, to joy, to gratitude! ~Henry Ward Beecher ~


I’m thankful….

I’m thankful for that one warm ray,
that shines on me to lighten my day.
I’m thankful for the dewy grass
that tickles my toes as I pass.
I’m thankful for the fragrant air,
that wafts on by without a care.
I’m thankful for the torrents of rain
that soaks my skin; releases my pain.
I’m thankful for the budding flower.
that blooms in glory, a scented shower.
I’m thankful for every timeless season,
new bark; new bough with endless reason.
I’m thankful for all the joyful bliss,
that graces my cheek as a gentle kiss.
I’m thankful for being allowed too touch,
that one lost soul whom needs so much.
I’m thankful for every little thing,
that has no worth, but smiles they bring.
I’m thankful for the minuscule,
for that where my soul can rule.
I’m thankful for all my eyes can see,
breathless beauty from God to me.
I’m thankful for all of this and more,
the love of life, the chance to soar!


In this day of thanks, may you too find a rose in your heart and blessings on your soul. May the sun drench you in warmth as the Light embraces you. Have a Glorious day!!!

2 Chron.4:15 ~ For all things [are] for your sakes, that grace, having spread through the many, may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God.

Off Topic II

Prov. 15:13 A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.
***

On Wednesday Adam was home from school. My how he enjoys school. If only the kids were nicer to him. His grades are not bad and I heard something this weekend that went something like this, “All C’s still get degrees.” So if Adam gets out of this year with all C’s, I’m only more than happy that he whizzed through the year and made it out alive!

Bullies are a whole other topic! I’m talking holidays today. Adam had a five day weekend at home! Wednesday I had to run to the store and you would’ve thought it was Black Friday trying to get through the store. I didn’t need a whole order, that was done on Saturday, but I muddled through, got a prescription, and some cough medicine. It still took almost an hour and a half trying to get back home! Grumpy tagging along.

Thursday I slept in as did Adam. I arose and made some Pumpkin Pies for what I thought was a two pm. dinner that, to my surprise, turned into a 12 pm dinner and the pies were still in the cooling stages as I brought them to moms for a family celebration. Good food, laughter and hugs were shared.

Friday was a rest day! I slept in, as did Adam and the day was bright and sunny, as football bellowed from the radio and TV. Thursday had been cold and blustery but Friday was Sunny and 54 degrees! What a whirlwind of temps we have here in Nebraska. Saturday, Adam and I went off to the store to pick up a few things. The store was darned near empty. A pleasant trip on the day AFTER Black Friday! The wind once again picked up but it was a gorgeous sunny day, yet felt like a Sunday for some odd reason. I saw grumpy in the mirror!

Saturday was the day that we put up the Chritmas decorations, after beau played the sax, rehearsing for some dinner party. Then Adam kept bugging me to let him put up the tree. We used to get a real tree but allergies abound and it dries out too quick in a months time, so we have an artificial tree. Adam went to town on that tree. Took him about three hours but in the end, I have a beautiful tree. Now sadness was with grumpy, those two had a party!

Sunday was church. I got to see my Church Family and realized how much I missed them when we missed a week (due to sickness.) An air of grumpiness followed us around like I was Snow White and Grumpy belonged here with me. I couldn’t shake it. I prayed, cried, laughed, but there it was, staring me boldly in the face!

Depression. It is obvious to me but well hidden from others. Standing on the edge of sanity, depression will knock you down, drag you through the mud and leave you there to get hard to turn into some form of  lumpy clay. I can usually meditate and pray and shake the bug, but beau and Adam? Well they have a hard time just letting go and shaking off the blues. They’ll pull me in because it’s what we do. We’re a family, we feel each others pain, share each others sadness, and hopefully mend each others heart.

Bring on the holidays!

Ecc.1:18 For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.

Off Topic...life

Prov. 14:13 Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful; and the end of that mirth is heaviness.
***

Today I’m going to go a little off topic. I mean after the exhausting week last week, I think my blog needs a break from all this writing biz. Sometimes it’s a welcome relief and I know you, my reader, you all like to see what’s happening in my life every now and again. Which not only makes me feel good, but it also makes me feel loved.

I never realized how depressing the holiday’s could be. I mean, in years past, living in Texas, I was down around the holidays because I missed my family back in Baltimore. I’ve been away almost eight years and only got back home once to see my mother and father. It’s around the holidays I miss them most. Not just Thanksgiving and Christmas, but holidays in general.

Back before I gave up my old life, my family was my life. Mother, father, sister, brothers, my son, hubby, nieces and nephews. The seasons of love, sharing and caring were all shared as a family. Sure I have a dysfunctional family but they are mine, and I loved the holidays with them.

Six years of loneliness and healing in Texas’ grand warmth, I started to get used to being alone and possibly never seeing my family again. My niece and sister came to visit me in Texas once, and beaus mom visited a couple times along with his aunt and uncle. But again, the holidays were just us three in our tank tops, putting up the tree, eating turkey and celebrating being alive. We did make a few trips to Nebraska in that interim.

My how much life has changed in two years. Beau went blind and life took on a whole new meaning. We both went through transitions of healing our hearts and souls and even Adam had his set of adjustments. Money commenced, warmth of the Texas heat was left behind, replaced by snow and wind and a life out in the middle of nowhere, except there was a difference here in Nebraska; family.

The holidays have a new shape to them now, spent among family, sharing the joy and laughter, but something is missing. As Adam (who did all the work) and I put our Christmas tree up this weekend, and beau sat on the sidelines moping, I realized life has changed all around for all of us.  Although we have his family surrounding us and special times are being had and memories are being wrapped in our hearts, we are still three people, in search of something we know we may never find.

Adam is off at school, I sit here writing and beau is absorbed in audiobooks and listening to movies. The holidays are upon us and it can be quite depressing. All I do know now is that I have the love of God in my heart and his plan is in action, and we all move with the fluctuation of the life energy that sustains us.

Ecc.7:3 Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better.

I'm Thankful For...

1 Chron. 29:13 Now therefore, our God, we thank thee, and praise thy glorious name.
***
I’m thankful for….

I’m thankful for that one warm ray,
that shines on me to lighten my day.
I’m thankful for the dewy grass
that tickles my toes as I pass.
I’m thankful for the fragrant air,
that wafts on by without a care.
I’m thankful for the torrents of rain
that soaks my skin; releases my pain.
I’m thankful for the budding flower.
that blooms in glory, a scented shower.
I’m thankful for every timeless season,
new bark; new bough with endless reason.
I’m thankful for all the joyful bliss,
that graces my cheek as a gentle kiss.
I’m thankful for being allowed too touch,
that one lost soul whom needs so much.
I’m thankful for every little thing,
that has no worth, but smiles they bring.
I’m thankful for the minuscule,
for that is where my soul can rule.
I’m thankful for all my eyes can see,
breathless beauty from God to me.
I’m thankful for all of this and more,
The love of life, the chance to soar!

***

May you all have blessings this day

and be thankful for one small thing!

AMEN!

Poetry Sunday~ Give Thanks!

Romans 14: 6 He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the Lord; and he that regardeth not the day, to the Lord he doth not regard it. He that eateth, eateth to the Lord, for he giveth God thanks; and he that eateth not, to the Lord he eateth not, and giveth God thanks.


Giving Thanks...

For all we are and all we do
we give our thanks each day.
We live, grow, change and mend
I give my thanks and pray.

I thank my mother and father
for all the things they gave.
Within their hand they held my life
but only One could save.

I led the life He wanted for me
although the road was rough.
I never look back with any regret.
the unpaved journey was tough.

The path was laid before we were born
the forks were all in place.
Which we chose was a cosmic bend
that altered time and space.

I found a cross in my walk
as I wandered through each year.
Whimsical times and frenzied mind
He made it all come clear.

The crystal shell lay in shards
glass was torn to pieces.
He put them all together again
My love for Him never ceases!

I thank the Lord for carrying me
through life’s seasoned highway.
I’m mended now because of Him,
No longer are things done my way.

***
It’s His way or No WAY!

***