Hope In The Hopeless

2 Cor. 1:3-4 (ESV) “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

Hope in the Hopeless

Shocked, saddened or heartbroken, that is the reaction you get when you tell people your diagnosis. The Big C has always carried with it the equality of a death sentence. They don’t see the hope of Christ living in us and working through us, they see disaster, dread, empathy, basically, they see death in us.

I’ve learned in my life that Jesus overcame death and it is not something to be feared. If we feared death with every downfall we have in our life, every affliction, every illness, and disease, we would see it as a disaster about to happen. Opportunity knocks in the strangest of situations. Some people are used to show you the Glory of God in an affliction as we show you the Light of Christ shining through us.

There IS hope in the hopeless; you just need to be willing to see past your own hardened observations. Empathizing is a lot different than sympathizing.  Empathizing is almost like feeling sorry for a person going through a difficult stage in their life where sympathizing is feeling equal in understanding what the person is going through. 

Definition of:
Empathy – the psychological identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

Sympathy -- harmony of or agreement in feeling, as between persons or on the part of one person with respect to another.

When my Dad, Aunt, and Uncle were all battling this same disease, I felt sorry for them because I couldn’t do anything so I felt helpless and I didn’t understand what they were going through because I had never been through the same thing. As individual and unique as this disease is, we all handle the diagnosis and treatment differently. 

Many are conditioned to see a death sentence. Many see no hope in the hopeless, many also would rather turn their heads to ignore the situation than bringing HOPE to the hopelessness people feel.

I’ll admit, after hearing the initial diagnosis, it crumbled me like a cookie. I saw my life slowly flash before my eyes and I saw an imminent death sentence awaiting me. The oncologists fed me their lies and I believed them, even after I had accepted this illness, they continued to shovel in the fear and hopelessness. I would enter the office full of hope, I would leave wondering where the broom was to sweep up the mess I’d leave behind. 

I would regain the hope I walked in with not long after leaving the office and I promised myself I wouldn’t put myself through that series of negative mud-slinging ever again. I would build on my strength with the Lord and I would walk a path few are brave enough to face. Even if it is not considered bravery, there needs to be an inner strength and willingness to walk the path that might look dim to others but to you is a path of Light.

I see hope in the hopeless. Just like the rain filled days, I always saw the sun shining through. The stationary bike is a perfect example. I could see the days on end of rain as taking my newly formed walking routine away from me but instead, I saw the bike in the basement as a ray of light! And this week, I learned from hubby’s mom, who gave us the bike, that it had a story behind it.

Just a reminder, things always walk through my door free of charge or of minimal price when I need them the most, the bike rode in when my husband was suffering from blindness. The bike sat in his mother’s basement doing nothing and she didn’t want to get rid of it, but when her son needed something to keep his idle body busy, she offered the bike to us.

Many years ago, his mother had found out that someone had entered her name in a raffle. She is not one to sign up for raffles for her own reasons but this person signed her up and guess what she won? The bike! It’s a nice stationary bike, a Schwinn to be exact, with an arm exerciser as you peddle too! She took it not knowing what to do with it so it sat in her basement, years on end until her son went blind and she offered it to him. Little did she know that it would be a blessing to me also. We moved to Nebraska eight years ago BECAUSE of his blindness and had we remained in Texas, no bike, no story. His sight was restored in another miraculous moment that I wrote about, years ago.

God works in mysterious ways of bringing HOPE to the hopeless! I frequently see meme after meme telling me not to donate to the Goodwill because they are making millions off of us people. I have to disagree, I have never gone into a Goodwill where a Cadillac was parked outside and the manager was wearing an expensive Armani suit. No, I see people of my class or lower, working the register, working the backroom unloading donations, I see people WORKING and not for millions of dollars either. That is the only place where I can go and AFFORD nice jeans and clothes and I’m not ashamed to admit it either! I donate clothes to them and I buy clothes from them. 

Hope in the hopeless, from a 2011 post of mine: “Ok, Shady Brooks is a place in my mind where water ripples downstream, I create the illusion of the rainbow permanently above my head inspiring me to move forward in life, sitting on the edge of the water with my notebook in hand. No laughter, just the rushing water, wind-chimes off in the distance and me sitting there, alone, waiting for sanity to brush my face and as they slowly appear, I realize, they are all new people, that have entered my life and are lifting me to the heights that I need to be.”

It isn’t just me bringing hope to the hopeless; it is my friends bringing hope to me, too. They are surrounding me with support and without them, I don’t feel this path would be as easy going as the past four months (fourteen years of friendship for that matter) have been. Sure I have my down days but there is HOPE waiting for me at the beginning and end of every single day! I make the most of a day and I find a peace in my affliction and will continue to share my HOPE and Light with you!

God Bless You, one and ALL! 

Pss. 111:1 “Praise ye the LORD. I will praise the LORD with my whole heart, in the assembly of the upright, and in the congregation.”

There is no one like our God!

God of this City

A True Christmas Tale - poem by Joni!

 Job 10:12 “Thou hast granted me life and favour, and thy visitation hate preserved my spirit.”

A True Christmas Tale

 A tale was told one Christmas eve,

Tis' better to give than to receive.

But I have no gift, my pockets bare,

I am but a poet, my poem I'll share.

I rose from my bed on Christmas day,

The sun was peeking down where I lay.

I crept down the stairs so I could see,

Had Santa left gifts under my tree?

I wasn't surprised, left unamazed,

I stood at my empty tree and gazed.

No gifts to give, my heart did ache,

But I would go on for Christmas' sake.

I threw on my clothes, rushed out the door,

Just what is all this excitement for?

I have no gifts to give to thee,

No presents were left beneath my tree.

So how can Christmas be happy and gay?

What is the secret that makes this day?

I swung open the door, to my surprise,

My family was sitting before my eyes.

Greetings exchanged, hugs of embrace,

Smiles that lit the entire place.

"We're glad you're here, accept this gift.

Maybe then your spirits will lift."

I saw in their eyes a special glow,

That sunk my heart, and let me know,

That they were giving with deepest love,

For God had signaled from above.

The spirit of Christmas is a radiant gleam,

That shines through the soul, in a warming beam.

I have felt that warmth throughout the year,

By spreading laughter, joy, and cheer.

But a chosen day was set aside,

For all of our arms to open wide.

So the gift I give has no ribbons or bows,

I'll give you peace that warms and glows.

I'll tell you I love you, I'll make you smile,

I'll see that your visit was worth the while.

I returned to my house, I plugged in my tree,

There sat a star gazing down at me.

I looked at the star with wondrous sight,

For God had appeared that Christmas night.

I was given the secret of Christmas eve,

Tis' better to give, than to receive.

Author’s note: I wrote this when I was 18

But it is still one of my most favorite Christmas

Poems that I wrote! May it go down in His-tor-y!

Merry Christmas to all

And to all a good night! 

Lent: Day Thirty-one ~ Pride

Ezek. 7:10 Behold the day, behold, it is come: the morning is gone forth; the rod hath blossomed, pride hath budded.

Pride

Prov.  16: 18 Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.

Pride goes before a fall is a paraphrase of an ancient Hebrew proverb, designed to warn man that excessive pride will often cause one to fail. Excessive pride? Oh, I know people like that. I have family members who are so proud of their beautiful richly decorated homes and their fancy garden and pool by the wayside. That would be pride in the excessive. A ‘look what I have and you don’t’ attitude.

Me, I’m just happy in being alive, having a roof over my head, and having food in the refrigerator to fix for my family. I’m not a prideful person and any time it tries to rear its ugly head I have to swat it away like a pesky fly, kill it before it becomes too excessive.

We are not called to be prideful among men. To me, pride is a form of shame also; shame of health issues, shame of poverty issues or shame of living arrangements, all a form of pride. When someone is ashamed to take assistance from someone reaching out to them, pride rears its ugly head and the words that come out are, “No, no, I don’t need any help.”

Man is so prideful that he would rather do without than to take a handout. Even if it is freely offered, man in his shame hides his face proudly stating to themselves that they are too good for charity. This is the fall; they will hunger. Sure they’ll pray for food, a better job, ways to make ends meet but when assistance arrives they are too prideful and miss a rish blessing.

I think the problem is that man tries too hard to acquire something instead of knowing when a blessing arrives; it passes by on the train heading out of town and they miss the opportunity because of their pride.

About eight years ago, I thought I was too proud, but when Steven lost his job, was going blind, and we had no means for food we surely didn’t pass up the food at the food pantry that was ours if only our pride wouldn’t walk through the door with us.

Sure I was witness to people taking advantage of a system that was put in place to help people like us. I myself wasn’t able to go out and get a job because Steven was losing his sight, he needed to be taken to the doctors, he needed to be taken places that he could not have gotten to on his own. Yes we were offered gas for our truck from the Pastor and no we didn’t hide in shame, we HAD to take it. We were learning how to humble ourselves.

When we needed help in moving from Texas to Nebraska, the arm of the Lord reached out and guided us seeing to it that we had a house to come to, accepting assistance from people who didn’t even know us, to ones who knew us personally. We basically were in God’s hands for about three years before things began to change. Steven got his sight back, Steven got a job and we learned a lot about what the face of patience looks like along with a humble spirit, along with watching any ounce of pride fleeing from us like we were lepers.

I then was diagnosed with lower lumbar facet joint arthritis in my back. A chronic pain which would limit my mobility but praise God, didn’t leave me completely immobile. I can do lots of stuff, but pride often tries to rear its head. Like some Loch Ness monster, it peeks out only for me to see. “No, I don’t need a cane,” “No, I don’t need pain pills,” “No, I don’t need this or that or the other thing.” Yup, pride, swimming in the murky waters wanting me to take a hold of it BUT never really ensnaring me in its trap.

Sure I can be too proud to declare that I’ve stood in line at the Department of Welfare, I can put on a brave face and claim ‘I NEVER stood in the aisles of a food pantry.’ But what would the point in that be? I’m here to tell you that even the Godliest of people have suffered the pangs of pride; threw off the ugliness and embraced true blessings.

The next time you look at a homeless man or woman and think they are the scum of the earth, why not think of what put them there? Why not show a little compassion and understanding knowing that not ALL homeless people WANT to be where they are. They just never caught a break. Your pride won’t allow you to walk up to one and hand him coffee or a few quarters for some food. No, you’re too afraid he’ll just use the money for booze but really that is your pride talking. You’re too proud to approach the homeless.

Heb. 13: 2 Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

And keep in mind, while you’re sitting there all haughty and prideful, a fall will come when you least expect it and you’ll have no one else to blame but yourself. Pride is also dressed in boasting. Neither is attractive or becoming to a Christian.

Pss.10:4 The wicked, through the pride of his countenance, will not seek after God: God is not in all his thoughts.

All Tied Up?

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble." - 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
***

Did you ever notice people with the means to help, don’t. And the people without the means, do? Or at least want to. I think I remain poor because even if I was a popular published novel writer, my money would be flung out the window, handed off to people who need it!

I have family members who make more than $100,00 thousand a year, and ones who make less than $25,000 a year. Wanna know who helps in our dire time of need? Yup you guessed it, the ones with the least amount to give. And if you ask the ones with more than enough money for help? They tell you they don’t have it, their money is all tied up. What does that even mean? Oh wait...it is in savings for THEM, so THEY have a good life, for the rest of their lives. Poo, on those who have nothing, get a job they say. Well! I don’t need you, I have GOD, and YOU have your place carved out for you.

More so than that, the ones without don’t even need to ask if I need help. Have you ever seen the man with raggedy clothing on the street corner, cup in hand, sign on ground, NEED FOOD, some call them ‘bums’, some say they are derelicts, some whisper, ‘street trash’, I say the are ‘homeless’ victims.

Why victims? Because they became a victim of circumstance. Please don’t give me the story on these men and women, how they are just out for booze. Sucking off of ‘good taxpaying people’. Do you hear how wrong that sounds? I grew up in the city, Baltimore city, and the homeless could be seen sleeping on top of steaming sewer drains, they will carry their ‘home’ with them, usually a cardboard box, a lot of times a shopping cart filled with a coat and boxes that they would roll around the streets from one place to the next.

It was always so sad to see these men AND women clinging to the very edge of society. A misfit among the human race, pushed there by disease? Hard times? Society? Or Family? I have been on the edge of that line numerous times but God has always sought someone to reach out to me and bring me something, anything in my time of NEED, not want. God is the only saving Grace during these hard times of need, and having real Christians surround you and pull you together into their arms, that is what you NEED!

Sure we all want a nice home, a warm home with a car outside waiting for us to jump in, clothes on our backs, and food on our plates. We also want that new blouse we saw at JCPenny’s, or that purse we saw at Macy’s, or the new sofa we saw at the Furniture Store. But those are all WANTS and nothing that you really NEED.

I NEED my state of mental health, and the Greed Factory is not where I’ll ever visit anytime soon. You enjoy your time there and if you see someone who resembles Jesus, in need, tell him you can’t help, “YOUR money is all tied up.” See how that works for you.

Hebrews 13:1-2 "Let brotherly love continue. Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares".

But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mk 10:43-45 (NLT)

Humble Yourselves

James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
***

I remember a time sitting at the welfare office in Texas with hundreds of other folk in need of the same thing we needed, assistance. Things had just gotten that bad we had to resort to help from the state. In Texas you sit in the office for hours upon hours awaiting your number to be picked. If you arrived at 7 a.m when the doors open, standing in line outside in the cold, you might be lucky enough to get a number that would only leave you in the office for two hours instead of four, but if you arrived late, you were definitely going to be there until five.

Short staffed, enormous need, and a bad system left many sitting there grumbling, but many, just patiently waiting their turn. This system was for ANYTHING you needed, even if you just went to ask a question of things you needed to bring with you, you waited! One day after sitting there for an hour, a young couple came in with a baby. They didn’t look like they belonged there any more than we did. They looked at their number and after an hour I finally asked, “What number do you have?” Well the man said a number, and I KNEW it was going to be a long day for them. I handed him my number, he looked amazed.

“But it’s almost your turn.” he said. I looked at him, “God bless you.” His wife came back in, she was making a call telling her mother, I guess, that she’d be there all day. Her number was next, she looked amazed too. Her husband pointed at us. “Thank you,” she said, “Thank you so much.”

They just moved from Oklahoma, he had lost his job, and they had never been in this situation in their lives. He was telling us his story as his wife went to the counter to ask a question. She came back and they thanked us again and again. I sat there another hour but to see the smiles on all three of their faces was well worth it!

I had done that one other time to a pregnant girl who was there alone, and looked like she was going to give birth, right then and there. She was nine months and didn’t need to wait for four hours so I handed her my number.

It was a humbling experience sitting in that office and I thought of all the people who condemn and put down welfare recipients. “Nobody pays for my food,” they taunt, “Get a job!” they scream, but I assure you, if those same people lost their jobs, had no means for food, and family wasn’t forthcoming in the ‘help’ department, I can guarantee you, they would HUMBLE themselves, get into that office, and have a means for feeding their family!

Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a savings. Not everyone has the ability to help themselves, and not everyone can rely on so called ‘friends’ because they will be the first to say, “I really don’t have it this week.” This circumstance is merely a stepping stone for most people, people who have worked all their lives, paid their taxes and have fallen on hard times. You judge them because of your ignorance. Have you ever been in a welfare office to be able to actually give a proper judgment? “I wouldn’t be caught dead there!” you say, then YOU have NO RIGHT TO JUDGE!

Humbling yourselves is what God wants us to do, maybe so all the taunters can see how ‘non Christian’ they have become? Maybe God just wants you to see His handiwork at work. Not everyone in those offices are drug dealing, boozers, or multiple time pregnant women, sucking the system for all it’s worth; many are there because of NEED. They NEED food, they NEED shelter! THEY NEED COMPASSION!!! And all you people on the outside looking in are just that, looking from your glass houses. Judge not...lest YOU be judged.

James 4:6 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.

Amazing Grace

I will praise the Lord at all times. I will constantly speak his praises. I will boast only in the Lord; let all who are helpless take heart. Ps 34:1-2 (NLT)

Are you there God? It’s me, Joni.

Have you ever felt like your voice is echoing in a tunnel and no one is hearing? I’ve never really felt like that because I always knew God was listening, as He was talking to me along the journey of Stevens blindness, He spoke, I listened. I never really asked anything of myself, I just kept praying for everyone else in need.

The power of prayer is simply amazing. When I send out a prayer for someone or say to a person, I’ll pray for you, those are not empty words that stop at just words, I really sincerely pray for that person. I won’t go into the amount of prayers I’ve said or for who, but I can say that the persons prayed for come back to me and say, “I FELT your prayers.” All Glory to God.

So when I send a prayer into the tunnel, it doesn’t have an echo, because of all the prayers it is bumping into. The tunnel is full of prayers and when I say, “Are you there God, it’s me, Joni,” I know God will hear my prayer. He forgets no one.

People think I’m crazy because when they ask or tell me to do something, I have a tendency to say, “I’ll see what God says,” or I’ll wait to hear what God wants me to do.” and if He says wait, I wait, patiently, sometimes in deep pain, struggling, gasping for air, but I wait, and God answers in a resounding brilliance of rainbow colors.

I don’t mean He puts a rainbow in the sky for me, (although sometimes he has done that.) But He layers his answer in a colorful rainbow that only I hear, and obey. ROYGBIV
Red-- “REST my child for you are weary”, Orange-- “OPEN your heart and let the Light shine through.” Yellow -- “YOU are my child and never forgotten.”, Green -- “GRACE from your Lord and Savior surrounds you.” Blue -- “BE one with all that I AM.” Indigo -- “I am the Lord your God.”, Violet -- “ VALUE all that you are!”

Then He adds... “You are not alone.” And then gives me a hug that is like no other warmth of the universe surrounding me.

How can you ignore that? Maybe you don’t hear Him? Maybe you’ve been so busy with reading the scripture, you never really gave it a chance when it came to actually living the scripture. I am not perfect by no means, I am a sinner like each and every one of you and think myself nothing more, but I strive, every day I wake up, and listen for the rainbow, I strive to make my day full of Glory to God.

I rose today, along with the glorious sun and felt, His Amazing Grace...
...was blind...but now... I SEE!!!

Thank you Lord, for prayers answered! Praise be your name!

NOTE: We are nearing a holiday, where people are lonely and need our prayer. Thanksgiving and Christmas should be a time for celebration and giving thanks. This weeks posts will be for the needy, the less fortunate, the ones no one cares for, but Jesus.

Matt. 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

As Christmas Day Draws Near...

I will return to my writing blog in three weeks. If you wish to continue with me for the next three weeks, I'll be sharing the Season of Christmas JOY! ~Joni

As Christmas Day draws near…

As the Christmas holidays draw near everyone’s trimming the tree; mistletoe and holly adorn the doorways; the scent of pine lingers throughout. The Holidays have officially arrived.

I’m associated with a writing site and by all accounts my friends see me with a happy-go-lucky attitude and an air of peace and tranquility. It’s amazing what a screen can keep away from even your closest of friends.

Would they know that on the other side of the screen sits a woman, who in the past three months has stood in line at the overflowing food pantry? Would they even suspect that my fiance has lost his job due to some technical ‘rule’ that was broken giving his company the opportunity to deny him all unemployment and insurance benefits? Does the company know they fired a blind man?

Do my friends know that the welfare lines are as long as the pantry lines? Are they so involved with their daily lives that they never get a glimpse of the reality that hangs in the balance before them?

I know when I turned to my family (except for my parents and my fiancés mother) I was turned out cold. No one could help or even lend a twenty-dollar bill to get milk. No communication, no nothing.

I turned to my church and the pastor stole my hope. He said that Social Security was more than likely (except for a miracle) going to be denied my fiance. The man is blind and he’s going to be denied? “Get a lawyer,” he tells us.” He sent me to the Pantry, said that the church would help with whatever they didn’t, and it turned out the Christian Community group was only willing to help with 200 dollars of an eight hundred dollar rent payment. The church paid the rest but when asked for help with the telephone, Internet, electric, necessities to make it another month, we were denied, PARENTS helped!

I pleaded with the Church and the C.C. to understand my predicament. I’m a writer. Not a Stephen King- I- make millions writer, but a WRITER who has worked five years on this dream.(Twenty years if you count the years I couldn’t ‘pursue’ it.) I was told to get a ‘real’ job. A real job in an economy where there are NO JOBS.

By November, I was ready to be scared and fearful for what the holidays would bring, but I had my faith clutched in my hand and held close to my heart. I wore a shield of armor, and as many sit there thinking the same thing everyone else thinks, “That faith of yours isn’t going to buy you food and keep a roof over your head.”

I’m here to tell you that my faith has done THAT and MORE! My November & December rent is paid, I have food in abundance, my Internet (and writing) is still moving forward, my bills are paid and my son, my fiance, and I might just have a Christmas after all!

You might ask what Christmas day will hold for me? Is my January rent paid, bills etc. and I will tell you that only the Lord knows what Christmas day will hold. Should I tremble in fear at the empty tree? Should I quiver wondering where any funds are going to come from? I will boldly tell you that believing in God is more than mere lip service you pay. FAITH is walking with God, trusting in Him completely. I will hold my head high in the Glory of Faith!

When you can be broken to shards and put yourself back together, that is Faith carrying you. If you remain broken, it is because your lips move but God can’t hear what you’re saying. Talking the talk and walking the walk are two totally different things.

May God Bless you as you walk beside Him. May you find the season wrought with joy and harmony. May you find happiness in the miracles. He has faith in you, why not have FAITH in him? If you are blind, may the miracle of Christmas allow you to SEE!

continued tomorrow...