The Ten Commandments to Kill The Toxic Invader

Ps. 9:2 "I will be glad and rejoice in thee: I will sing praise to thy name, O thou most High."

The Ten Commandments

To Kill The Toxic Invader

1) Open a vein and look inside the window to your life. Observe yourself and all of the past open wounds that have been seeping all of these years. If you feel scarred, you will feel glass separate you from your inner self, the you in your past. Look deep within your relationships, go back in time to nurture, face and heal those intimate sections of your life that might have been buried. Look at what shames you and causes you to turn your head if people were to know the truth that you’ve burdened yourself with. What guilt do you carry around with you that has kept you from healing that part of the child, the teenager, the woman? Look at the stress and all of the ugly pain associated with that part of your life. Number one will be the hardest thing you face in this healing journey. You know what they say, ‘One is the loneliest number.’ 

2) Be honest with yourself. If you’re going to stand and look in the window and see a perfect person, who knew no sin, then you are the toxic invaders next victim! Honesty is a healer. It can slowly stitch up the severed portion of your skin so it can begin scabbing over and healing completely with no scar left behind. Yes, that’s right, no scar left behind! Be honest in your healing, the non-truth will only hurt you. You’re the one that needs to heal.

3) Change… the norm! Change your fears, change your shame, change your diet, embrace a new you. There are going to be many challenges and changes in every way, shape, and form, literally. Two years from now you’ll look back at this time and wonder who you are right now. You won’t be staring in the window of a traumatized person, you will be looking into the face of a healed wounded soul. Change your way of thinking. Change your food, change your water, change everything from pots and pans to the soaps and shampoo you use. Now is the time for change…drastic change!

4) Pray and meditate! To whatever you believe in, now is the time to pray. My earnest faithful prayer is toward God in heaven. If you’ve ever read any of my blog posts, you will know, God is first and foremost in my life. Without Him, I would never attempt alternative treatment. If Jesus isn’t everything to you, then He is nothing to you. If healing is taking place in you then you know what it feels like to touch the hem of Jesus’ robe. 

Meditation also brings the healing to the surface as it slowly simmers the blood in your veins. You face what has leaked into your body to cause the cells damage head-on, you face the trauma in you with the One and only healer. I cannot attest to any healing taking place if you believe in nothing. All the diet change in the world won’t save you, it might be able to help you deal with chemo, but that is NOT an alternative route to healing this disease.

5) Just say no! We all have the power to say no, but we all know that sometimes we can be weak and never say no to anyone or anything. Take for example our food choices, we know they’re no good for us, our doctor has warned us, you’ve read about the dangers but you still reach for tempting, heart-damaging, health ravaging toxins. Say no to chemo, so no to oncologists that only believe in the almighty dollar. Believe in the power of real healing and you’ll begin to feel a real healing taking place. The only way to accomplish that is Just Say No! 

6) Research. Research your heart out. You might feel overwhelmed with information but then you’ll need to surround yourself with supportive like-minded individuals. The more research you do, the more empowered you’ll feel in your fight against naysayers who think you’re crazy. The more empowered you feel the more doorways to healing present themselves and God Himself walks beside you allowing channels to miraculously open that you thought might have been closed off to you. 
As the months' pass, you’ll feel the best you’ve ever felt. Pounds will shed like dandruff, food will have an enhanced flavor, skin and hair will take on a new luxurious look. While other cancer patients are falling ill, vomiting, sick in pain, you’ll be feeling great and wondering why more people haven’t gone this route. Fear, they fear the stigma surrounding the diagnosis, not the disease itself.

7. Supplements. Your body has announced over the bullhorn to you that you're sick, something’s not right and the noise and static have starched you into attention. Your cells are screaming out that they’re damaged and need repair. The symptoms have been clawing at you year after year, your instincts have been poking you with an icepick for you can’t remember how long, you’ve waited and waited it out and the problem never went away. Now with your immune system shot, your cells are done, they’re dying. Unless you save them! SAVE the cells you’re blessed with! Wake up and take charge, seize the very moment you’ve been given. Your doctor might want to hand you drugs and you readily take them because after all, he is a doctor. If he/she has heard of supplementation, ask if they are willing to work with herbs and vitamins BEFORE the drugs. They will, of course, say they can’t because they don’t know enough about them. It’s okay, you know why? Because you have already read through number six and are now aware of more than when you walked into the doctor's office.

If it is a matter of life and death: like you’ve had a heart attack and they need you to take medication to live, then by all means, listen to your doctor. If he tells you that you have the Big C, that leads us right to number eight.

8. Never fear! The word cancer in and of itself conjures fear. WHY, because everyone has lost someone to this disease. They’ve never heard of or known that there was another way to healing, why? Because of fear. The doctors' race in with the fear tactic even when you’re stage one, non-invasive. Did you know there are four stages? Why would a doctor tell a young mother who has found a rice size lump that she is going to die if she doesn’t get that piece of rice slaughtered out of her breast? Then they’ll radiate her to make sure they got it all and more times than not, they NEVER get it all. That’s because the tests, the digging, the radiating, the chemo all cause the C cells to spread. They don’t tell you that do they? No, they sure don’t. They tell you they got it all, send you and your drugs on their merry way and if you’ve done nothing to change your life, I can guarantee the C will resurface. But because of the research, you did in number six, you no longer live in fear!

9. Repair. Do everything and anything, legal or illegal to save your own life because rest assured there is nobody going to do it for you. Everyone is out for their own selves in this dog eat dog world, so save yourself with the love and strength of God and most importantly keep the faith in healing. Repair the inside and outside of you with all of the above tools. Fight like you’ve never been in a boxing ring but are well prepared to go a few rounds. Come out fighting and believe you're winning!

10. Rejoice! This is one you’ll want to do every day that you wake up alive and get to look in your husband or son’s eyes. Another day to be with the ones you love who are there for you in your world, making your concern their priority. You’ll want to rejoice in your healing. Praise God for the opportunities in front of you. You need to REJOICE in the midst of doubt and fear; wash off the dirty sediment that fear tries to sling at you. Rejoice in being alive. You are HEALING! Live it! BELIEVE it!!!

God Bless You!

A rock God placed in my path! 

An Emotional Healing

Jer. 30:13 “There is none to plead thy cause, that thou mayest be bound up: thou hast no healing medicines.”

Emotional Healing

I am so grateful that I’m a writer. I sit and wonder now if this wasn’t Gods plan all along; writing being my emotional healing tool during this phase of my life. I don’t even think I can put into words the elation I feel writing to you all and expressing my inner emotions. Some people have a hard time verbally communicating let alone penning their thoughts.

I find writing to be a part of my emotional healing. Healing that isn’t going to take place unless I heal emotionally as well. I can physically see and feel different aspects of my healing taking place. I believe I’ve penned everything there is to emotionally heal from unless there is some dark sinister revelation inside me churning that will spring up in time and devastate all the progress I’m making. 

I don’t see anything unknown popping up because, throughout my life, I’ve always been an open book where anyone who meets me whether online or face to face sees the real me, not a mask-wearing woman with hidden closets waiting to be cleaned out. 

Since I found out that stress and anxiety are partly to blame for this diagnosis, I had to dig really deep because I wasn’t even aware of the anxiety eating at me on a very cellular level. Dig and dig again finding the minutest of reasons for any anxiety I might be harboring. 

I have prayed and meditated for years but what I do now is an added meditation where I clean out my entire system from the inside out. You know how when Spring comes you’re inclined to clean out the closets and throw away old clothes and junk that has accumulated over the years? Well, our bodies need this same cleaning out and on a daily basis if we are ever to be healthy, non-toxic, non-drug induced creations. 

Anxiety stems from fear and God is not of fear. There is an enemy just waiting to pounce on the smallest inclination of any fear that hides in you. You might be of the chest pumping variety that says, I’m not afraid of anything, but let me ask, would you toss out those hundreds of dollars worth of meds? Why? Because you fear what might happen if you do? Fear is fear and yes that is a fear! Oh I can hear some saying that tossing meds is just plain stupid, but I’m saying, you wouldn’t even NEED those meds if you cleaned the TOXINS from your life.

Stress and worry are debilitating. Something as small as, will I be able to pay the bills this month, or will I have money to feed my family? They are worries and stress on levels you don’t even realize that eat at your immune system and as soon as your immune system is weakened, a disease strikes like a snake lashing out to bite its victim.

The root cause of much of my anxiety was my previous marriage. I’m not even joking a little bit here. I know many people who will say when there’s a problem within the marriage it is Godly to work it out and stay. I say whatever works for you does not work for all. And there IS a reason people divorce because they did try to work it out, they stayed until they suffocated trying to hold pieces of the marriage together. 

I was married at the tender age of seventeen and stayed in a toxic filled, anxiety-laden marriage for TWENTY YEARS! I can guarantee ninety percent of what I have attacking my body is because of my previous marriage. I could feel healing taking place the moment I left home but the damage had already been done, the cells were falling apart, the immune system had become unraveled and an illness slapped me upside the chest, quite literally.

After I left home, so many aspects of my past haunted me for years. I was out here with my Savior by my side the entire time and the enemy was back home sending out the whipping tool trying to rein me in via guilt and shame. I didn’t succumb and even after discussing divorce with my ex, he still thought he owned me and could wait years upon years before ever filing for divorce. 

My ex would never be a man and face the damages he caused, and not taking care of his son was taking its toll on my son and me. This was a layer of the onion exposed. It was bitter, it hurt peeling the reality away, it scarred me and I’m now paying for that weakened part of me. 

I filed for divorce and stood on the solid ground knowing this is what I had to do if I was ever going to heal completely. The marriage wouldn’t evaporate all by itself. The years of pain and contamination festered inside of me until it bubbled over into a deathly disease. I believed I was healing all of those years away from home and I was but like I said, the mutilation had scarred me and had detrimental results.

I am now on a path of emotional cleansing from my past. It wasn’t just the marriage but the family also. It is kind of hard throwing all of those skeleton bones out of the closet when they had been such a big part of my life for such a long time. I need to let go to heal. I’m freeing myself of the ties that had me bound. I am standing on the solid Rock of my Lord who has blessed me unconditionally all of these years and it’s the only emotional cleanser I can use.

I have people whom I thought were my friends abandon me and I have to release them too from any obligation of caring for me. I need real friends to surround me and lift me up and not abandon me when I NEED them the most. I’m not in this alone, if you say you’re my true friend, you are with me on this journey, like it or not, God has called you to CARE!

From the link above: “Take the time NOW to do an inventory of individuals you can count on. Who can you truly rely on to be there in your darkest hour? Who may have a listening ear? Stay away from those who leave you burnt out and stressed.”

I need to release some people to feel the full crux of the healing aspect. This realization of a traumatic marriage is a good part of my cleansing taking place. I have to release guilt, shame, and blame to free myself to accept the mending of my immune system. Emotional healing is never fun but it is an exhilarating portion of the patchwork quilt that will cover me, comfort me and HEAL me for the rest of my life.

All praise and Glory to God!

Acts 10:38 “How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him.”

Letting Go ~ To Astri and Christopher

Matthew 18:10 ESV “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.”

Letting Go

They say my wounds are open

That I must set you free

If I am ever to heal myself 

Of this illness now in me

I loved you and your brother

You left me here alone

So many years I cried for you

Although you’re not my own.

They say this cut is pretty deep

That it could halt my healing

I need to find a peace within

So yearly I’m not reeling.

I need to let God do His job

His need for you was great.

I'm worthy and I’m honored 

To give Him all the weight.

I release you to the heavens

Where I cannot come as yet

God still has some work for me 

As your place, I can’t forget.

Go now little children

Let your voice be heard

I give you to my Lord above

As the stars are being stirred.

I find a peace in knowing

That you’re in a better place

We all are being used now

As we’ve all been saved by grace!

I cannot shed pained tears for you

I know you didn’t die

You were with me but a moment

Before God gave you wings to fly.

Angel Always… Godspeed

God has blessed you both! 

Christopher Alexander (12-2-82) and Astri Celia (4-26 04)

My children who were STILL born!

Always loved and never forgotten

Galatians 1:15 ESV “But when he who had set me apart before I was born, and who called me by his grace,”

Quotation Saturday ~ Healing Through Grief

Prov. 18: 24 “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”

Quotation Saturday will be a little different this week. Since I lost my father last week and he was put to rest this week. My emotions have run the gamut; I wasn’t there and that is tearing me apart. I will find healing in my grief.

HURT

“Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.”

― George R.R. Martin

~ This is so true! I realized what kind of family I have when old wounds to my soul resurfaced this week.

“I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.”

― C.S. Lewis

“Pain is a pesky part of being human, I've learned it feels like a stab wound to the heart, something I wish we could all do without, in our lives here. Pain is a sudden hurt that can't be escaped. But then I have also learned that because of pain, I can feel the beauty, tenderness, and freedom of healing. Pain feels like a fast stab wound to the heart. But then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings and flying through the air! We may not have wings growing out of our backs, but healing is the closest thing that will give us that wind against our faces.”

― C. JoyBell C.

~ Hurt equals pain and this week the pain hasn’t ceased. I’m working on it though and I’ll find that wind in my face called healing!

EMOTIONAL

“There are some things in this world you rely on, like a sure bet. And when they let you down, shifting from where you've carefully placed them, it shakes your faith, right where you stand.”

― Sarah Dessen

~ I relied on my family to actually care for my pain. Knowing I had no means of seeing my father in his last weeks or as he was laid to rest, no one cared, except friends that I’ve never met! My spiritual online family got me through what would turn out to be one of the hardest things in my life.

“So the fact that I’m me and no one else is one of my greatest assets. Emotional hurt is the price a person has to pay in order to be independent.”

― Haruki Murakami

~ I’m paying for my independence and my freedom but I WILL heal!

ANGRY

“There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot.”

― Plato

~ I cannot help that I have a selfish family. My heart and prayers are with them. 

“Do not allow yourself to be blinded by fear and anger. Everything is only as it is.”

― Yuki Urushibara

~ I’m going to remember this every single day!

“Speak when you are angry, and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.”

― Laurence J. Peter

~ This is why I write. My writing has healing properties.

“If you're angry at stupid people, you're tempted to join them.”

― Toba Beta

~ I’m sure not going to allow myself to go there!

GRIEF

“You will lose someone you can’t live without and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up and you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”

― Anne Lamott

~ This is true. It might hurt for a little while but my heart is filled with the love I carry for my dad, so he will be a part of my healing too. I may walk with a limp, but I’ll dance like a pro for my dad!

“Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart.”

― José N. Harris

“The darker the night, the brighter the stars,

The deeper the grief, the closer is God!”

― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

~ I can attest, I’ve never felt closer to God than this week with my unusual amount of shooting stars. Thanks Dad.

“Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.”

― Leo Tolstoy

~ AMEN!

HEALING

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

― Rumi

“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”

― Rose Kennedy

~ I feel as though I am one big scar but the only good thing is the beauty of my light will shine through and no one will see the scar, they’ll only see the Light that I emit.

“Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real.”

― Cormac McCarthy

“As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation -- either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.”

― Martin Luther King Jr.

~ I choose to transform! I’ll use writing to help in the healing process.

I’d like to thank all of my spiritual online friends who are there for me, helping me and honestly doing all they can for me. They’ve lost a mother or father and understand the pain that I’m enduring and it is only with their love and support that I’ll find the healing transformation that I need. God has truly blessed me!

Acts 4:22 “For the man was above forty years old, on whom this miracle of healing was shewed.”