Winding Down... A Grand Finale

“The one who gets wisdom loves life; the one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper.” Proverbs 19:8 (NIV)

This might be one of those 'must read' posts as I wind down my blog. I've gone on hiatus many times over the years but this one is timely and essential as I need to continue healing. 

It all began back in 2005 when I started this blog, the posts didn't really feel right so I deleted the lame posts from 2005 and 2007. Then in 2008, it took off and I started getting followers and meeting other bloggers, some whom I am still friends with to this day on Facebook. It was a writing blog. A writer helping fellow writers follow their dreams as I too followed my dream of becoming a writer all the while sharing my love of God. 

Some liked that I spoke of God and I'm sure some were turned away by it, but those who liked it became my friends on Facebook, getting to know me on a more personal level. I don't remember the year the transition happened, the blog name went from One Voice, Write Right to Joni's Muse: The Poet Within. I know the transition happened at a time I was being called on every typo, misspelling and faux pas of my writing posts so I no longer felt like a reliable writing source to my fellow writers. It was no big deal, I'm a writer and we need to take criticism but sometimes, people are not gentle in their critique and even unintentionally downright hurt you!

I turned my writing muse to God and all that He's done for me. I didn't strive for grammar perfection, I just wanted to share my life story and all that I've learned over the years. No one could critique my story because it was/IS mine! My life, MY wounds, MY scars that I was sharing! People liked reading my story because I had an edge of reality, a blunt truth that not many people are willing to go into the depths of their soul and share. I shared over the years parts of my past that some would have rather kept buried but I brought it to light. I needed healing in my writing and releasing all the past wounds really helped me to find an inner peace. 

My blood family has no interest in my story. It is not their story but when I'm gone and they look over the truth, I'm sure they'll sit in shock that my story of the dysfunctional life I LIVED, is out there for the world to see. Not that the world reads my blog but many will reread all that they missed. While they [family] are back east living the life of caged emotions I am moving on and healing, not giving their lost love a second thought.

Then something happened in 2017 on the road to discovery, an illness to beat all illnesses wrapped around my body and carried me to a cave where I needed reflection and time to think just what all of this meant. I lost quite a few of what I thought were dear friends because I'm not a conventional gal by any means and they are smothered in conventional life, treatment, diagnosis, and illnesses. They live and breathe conventional where I breathe freely the air of truth that I'm given. I may be on my own with a few dear friends, my spiritual family, that have stayed with me and encourage and believe in the path I've chosen because they know, it wasn't MY choice it was the path that God chose for me. Who is anyone to judge another person's path? Whether right or wrong, it is their path, no one else's.

While I hurt over the abandonment, I see that maybe the ones who left were not really true friends and I've become okay with that. I've been alone most of my life anyway (yes with God by my side) and I'm used to not being the accepted one. Shoot, I didn't get bullied because I was Miss Popular! Then there is this year, the year of uncertainty. I'm healing, I'm moving on but from the outside world I sense fear and doubt that I can't handle on a daily basis. I don't feel many people understand what having an extra sense has caused me throughout my lifetime. People laugh and scoff in disbelief and I'm okay with that too. My own sister used to call it, 'that thing' that Joni has. She knew the extra sense existed but was never sure what to call 'that thing' that I have.

With the advent of change -- via Facebook (snooze, unfollow, and many more) options, Blogspot with their not sending my comments to my email and the ad thing from the European Union? along with not allowing 'followers' anymore, and my hits going from the 50-70 range down to the 10-20 range; everything is changing and I need to change right along with the times, it is calling me to change. 

We're also coming to a dim period of having to put my fourteen-year-old dog to sleep. It's a difficult decision for any family and this will surely keep me in my room crying for a spell. Change is coming on a personal level and a worldwide level whether anyone wants to believe it or not. I'm done listening to people who say memes annoy but then post their own. I'm tired of people not knowing a typo from a grammar mistake. I'm tired of everyone finding fault with everyone else but won't look in the mirror at their own faults. I'm also pained by watching a world silently killing themselves on drugs and toxic eating without a care to LIFE and living and making excuses for why they are the way they are.

I won't be alone. I have a strong faith and belief in God and we'll walk together on this journey and wherever we wind up will be by His grace and His alone. Just know, I AM healing and the journey IS moving right along as God has planned. I may continue to post poetry and pics, but my sharing days are done. I need me time for a bit. You all have the grace of God carrying you and may you all pace yourself where an inner healing takes place.  I pray my work for God was well received and that one person, because of my words, was changed in some way. I love you all!

Angel Always...Godspeed, my friends

Psalm 61:2-3, “From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety, for you are my safe refuge, a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me.” (NLT)

The Branch

I crawl out on the lonely branch, 

that can't sustain my weight. 

I try to creep so still in thought, 

reflecting on my fate. 

Up on top this tree so tall, 

I find a quiet place. 

Still are sounds that whistle through, 

the leaves a patient pace. 

What is this that breaks my thought, 

I’m not alone anymore? 

The presence is surrounding me; 

it haunts my very core. 

No longer alone, my thirst is quenched, 

my essence fed by might. 

Surrounded by the stillness of, 

the Radiant Branch of Light.

Jar of Clay

2 Cor. 4:7-9 KJV “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair: Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

ESV 7 “But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;”

While I prefer the KJVersion many find the ESV an easier read. That’s okay with me because I’m a fragile jar of clay spilling out the word. It is not mine to shape and twist for easier reading it is mine to pour out of my earthly vessel.

Many people fear the Word, the Light, the Love that God showers on the world. I find in this physical world that people embrace hate easier than they do love. Love makes people vulnerable. Love is an open wound and touching love brings forth pain. Like salt on a wound, your pain becomes visible to the world. Hiding behind hate and anger is so much easier.

So here I am, an open wound. I have a disease that has people curling up in fear, writhing in pain, losing all sense of self. This illness leaves many alone in a struggle with the only thing in their faces is fear.

Fear tried to afflict me in the earliest of days. I quickly turned to Light and Love and the entire perspective changed for me; I may have been struck down but I was not destroyed! I know quite a few friends asked where my strength comes from and I have to be honest, from the Holy Spirit residing in me, there can be no other place in me to hold such a magnitude of passion except this jar of clay.

Fear was strewn outside the vessel trying to shatter the fragility of the jar but I could not, I would not allow the hardened clay to be tapped by fear. I will not break because someone thinks they know what is better for me. I will defend my honor and hold fast the truth that is a vine climbing inside of me.

A Puritan they say, well praise be, if you think of that as an insult you’d be wrong, if you see the purity in me, you’d be right. A puritan, I’m honored. 
Puritan defined - a person who is strict in moral or religious matters, often excessively so.

I may be an excessive moral person, a strict spiritual person but I am not a religious person, but I like that about me. It surely doesn’t make me any better than you. I am not above anyone. I am a sinner who, if God doesn’t chastise me, I will correct myself. I’ve walked the rigid path, my bare feet scarred by the stones, glass penetrated me and I bled, but I am now healed and I want the world to know of this healing. Is that wrong in wanting to share the Light of the road less taken?

While a doctor tries to use fear, a browser tries to use dominance, people try to use doubt, God uses me to pour out all that’s in this vessel. I’m okay with that, I feel I have a purpose and it isn’t in the materialistic society. I have a Spirit filled with love and everything that entails. I share the love. Judge if you want, I’m okay with that too, if you have a problem with love then you need some deep thinking sessions to see what is missing in you.

I could say the weight of an illness is on my shoulders but no instead I feel the weight of the Lord pressing in on me to spill out all He has shown me. I’m a basin full of living water just waiting for someone to dip their fingers into, to wash their face. I want to share all that the Lord has shared with me. Is that wrong? Is that moral high ground?  

Though some look down on me trying hard to ignore the Light I bring to the table, I see you and it makes me love you all the more. I will not break, I will not shatter, I will not be swayed or inhibited by persecution. I will rise above this disease and look at it from afar, it will be buried in the chasm of my healing cells never to be seen of again.

My hope for the world is that more and more people will be brazen enough to step up to the plate and not be shamed for spreading the Word. But can I give you some advice? Don’t share the Word then turn around and shew forth hate, it kind of gives off a mixed message. There is no confusion where God is concerned. 

Onward Christian 

Rom. 10:17 “So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”

Gateway to Health: Spring Cleaning Your Diet

1 Tim. 3:5 “(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)”

Spring Cleaning Your Diet

I know it’s a little early being January and all, but it is never too early to clean up your health. I know with January first everybody made resolutions to lose weight but do they realize you don’t just stop eating and wait for the pounds to melt off? You need to clean your system out if you want a healthy weight loss that will actually work and last.

By cleaning up, I mean detoxification! You need to meticulously clean out the toxins in your body that have your liver, bladder and other essential organs not responding because of your unhealthy eating.

Tamara St John, who NATURALLY successfully healed her cancer has a great website for the Big C patients and the non-C patients. Allow me to say that not all cancers are the same and thus are not holistically healed the same. We all have to do what works for us!

But if you want to lose weight, it is advisable to do a detox. first. This will help you clean out the mechanisms that keep you going day in and day out. A probiotic will assist you in cleaning out and keep the house kept up. Because once you clean out your system, you don’t want to clog it right back up with toxins and junk.

If you don’t want to go the diet route then it is possible to just clean up your ingested food. You see, you might think that buying ground beef in bulk saves money, or buying really pink ground beef is safe to eat but know your grocer. A lot of times they spray freshness additives (toxic to your cleaned out system) to make the meat stay fresher on the shelf longer.

Some people feel they NEED meat but I can guarantee, it isn’t a NEED it’s a want, I totally get carnivorous amongst us. All I’m saying is buy the least toxic food available to you to keep your system clean and functioning properly. I found some really good recipe sites for you to try out. No, I haven’t made any myself YET, but I am surely going to try. If you absolutely NEED meat, add some. This is a lifelong journey of health for me, not a do and fail option.

Food Revolution 

Wisebread 

Also, find alternatives for your sugar cravings. I use 100% organic maple syrup in my oatmeal and it is delicious instead of stevia or processed sugar. There are so many other ways to a healthy diet. I buy a big organic sweet potato, chop it up put it in a lidded casserole dish. I ‘paint’ the sides and bottom with organic coconut oil first so nothing sticks. I sprinkle, nutmeg, ginger, cloves and a hefty dash of cinnamon, drizzle the maple syrup on top, toss in some FRESH pineapple chunks, cut up an apple also and throw that on top, toss it in the oven (350 degrees) for forty-five minutes! It is better (to me) and just as filling as any meat dish you can throw in your face!

There is a healthy alternative cheese also. It’s not as good as cheddar or processed cheese but I love the creamy grilled cheese sandwich my coconut cheese makes! A diet does not need to be restrictive; it just needs to be tweaked with better for you ingredients.

I know how people are addicted to chocolate too. For some reason, they don’t want to try the healthier raw cacao powder to make their brownies or cookies, but this way they could eat without the guilt of the chocolate being bad for them! I don’t like chocolate but I am tempted to try the raw cacao in a smoothie! 

There are healthy eggs out there, healthy chicken, healthy sausage, and even, yes Benning, a better for you healthy BACON! It isn’t a matter of going on a diet, it is a matter of changing your unhealthy eating to HEALTHY alternatives. I know, I know, no one likes change; not many like healthy either.

If we all became aware of what unhealthy food goes down the tube, we’d surely not be an overweight nation. Fast food restaurants would lose business, restaurants would change the way they cook and offer healthier foods to the patrons.  Papa Johns is testing an organic and gluten-free menu and we’re definitely going to see a rise in awareness of what we’re doing to our bodies. I don’t know how long Papa John’s will stand to the pressure of going organic if the founder was made to quit after comments about the money grubbing NFL and their protest ‘people’.

The crazy world we live in is really weird in not wanting people healthy and opposing anything the people do to better their health! Take the FDA, for example, wanting to ban herbs that they call DRUGS because these freakish people don’t know what they’re doing. I think they all WANT us to die, not thriving and healthy, they want us sick and on drugs! REAL drugs like opioids and oxycontin.

Sadly, you say you don’t want to change. I guess you like going to the doctor and handing them your money month after month? You like the pills they offer yet won’t call yourself a drug addict because they’re legal drugs prescribed by a doctor who has had eight hours of training in nutrition? There are a few doctors out there willing to hear you and listen to your plan of healing and will work WITH you to see you to good health. They are out there but if you come from a small state, don’t count on it, they are out for themselves. Do some research and make your health a priority! How can a manicure/pedicure, getting your hair done, buying ‘stuff’ set precedence over your health? It makes no sense to me. How will you enjoy all the stuff if you’re hospitalized or worse, dead?

Do some spring-cleaning for your health! Not just as a passing fad, not as something you’re thinking about, not just a do and fail trip; make your HEALTH your lifelong journey to survival! Illness shouldn’t be about sickness and the endgame; the surfacing of a disease is about HEALTH and a new way to LIVE!

Going With Confidence?

Ps. 118:8 “It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.”

Going with Confidence?

I say this amid a week of doubts and uncertainty. While I still feel assured doing what I’m doing is the right thing, there are those days that doubt creeps in like the mouse you never knew you had peeks his head out as a crumb falls to the floor. You didn’t know it was there but sure enough, his eyes meet yours and he scurries away.

Here I am five days away from Christmas. The weather has been unseasonably warm, the winds brutal and just like Christmas itself will arrive, so will old man winter awaken on the twenty-first of December to give us our first real winter cold spell.

I’m going to be honest here, I don’t think I’m ready for the family gathering. I’ve noticed here lately it is getting harder to pass up those sweet treats, drinks and toxic (to me) foods. I do, but it feels harder than when this all began eleven months ago.

I caved last week after going through the entire food store full of Christmas cookies, eggnog, sprinkle-topped sugar cookies of seasonal red and green colors, biscuits and breads, turkeys and hams. I rounded the freezer section and WHAM there it was – a pizza – Maximus Supremus it said, with a window to gaze at the topping filled pizza. It somehow jumped into my cart and to my husbands' amazed eyes he questioned my choice. “I want pizza!” I exclaimed with tear-rimmed eyes and made it to checkout with pizza in tow.

That night for dinner I gobbled five pieces of the delicious cheese-filled topping exploding pizza after shoveling the small slices in my mouth savoring every single bite. Not without guilt, I might add because yes, the measly two pieces that were left, I left for my son to eat. Eleven months of not caving and cheating on my protocol went out the window for a brief moment in time when I indulged in satisfying my flesh! I caved!

While my husband himself has remarkably slowly given up his addiction to sugar and Pepsi, not for me, for his own health, still can eat what he wants. Most of the time the Doritos, or cheese and crackers, or the three-flavored popcorn in a tin, doesn’t bother me, but here lately with the facebook walls lighting up with sugar cookies and toxins that would kill me paint the walls in hopes of satisfying the ones that they will only slowly kill. 

The holiday is all about food and family here. It’s not about exchanging gifts, it’s not about seeing family you haven’t seen all year, it’s about getting together and sharing a meal. I remember last year on Christmas we were hit with a torrential downpour with hail, lightning and thunder crashing all around the vehicle almost keeping us from the visit. But we made it to our destination safely and of course, we had a great time. Their concern (after seeing we all made it) was wanting to know how I was doing and I basically said fine and that I’d have a doctor visit and would know more. And boy did I ever learn more. At the time I thought I was suffering from MS but little did I know it was much worse.

This year we’re going to be hit with a seasonal cold spell! Twenty-three degree high is predicted for Christmas Day. While many across the nation have already dealt with the blustery cold and snowy season, the fifties have spoiled us. This tiny woman, forty pounds lighter, might feel the biting cold more than I have in the nine years since I’ve been in Nebraska.

While I feel I’m doing well, I don’t feel ready to be seated around a table full of delicious smelling food that in years past I ate and enjoyed. I have to watch as people overload their plates, go for seconds, complain about needing to lose weight as they head to the dessert table and proceed to get two helpings. I have to remain silent as people overindulge, laugh and chuckle as they fill their faces, while I can’t as I’m writhing, holding back tears. I am going to need iron strength not to carry the bitter taste in my mouth that I have right at this moment.

Will this stop me from fighting my fight with everything I have? By no means! I am not faltering just because a Christmas party declares I NEED to eat the toxic (to ME) food served. I declare that I have at least twenty years left in me, assuming the world even lasts that long. I have a spiritual family online that loves and cares that I succeed and will lend me prayers where I need. I know I may come off as confident and secure but know, there are times I break, I cry, I pout, then remember to whom this season belongs to and am reminded that my strength lies in Him! I will go in confidence only because I know I am loved. 

Prov. 3:26 “For the LORD shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken.”

Merry Christmas my Spiritual Family! I am counting on your prayers to carry me through with confidence! God Bless Everyone!

Elaine DeBoucher made this for me

Self-Control

Luke 21:19 “In your patience possess ye your souls.”

Self-control

You know, self-control, along with respect has gone clear out the window in society. People have a hard time controlling their tongue, hands and I should say, fingers because that is where most of their bravery comes in to play, tapping on their keyboards.

I had to leave a facebook group recently because the people were vicious! If someone disagrees with their thought, posts, whatever, they lash out and the herds follow suit! This was on a Vegan page or something but it is happening across the boards on many pages. I see a person disagree, then they belittle and demean that person. If a person posts a contradiction to their truth, they basically cyber-bully the person until they leave the group. This is sad.

My point in naming this post self-control is because I’d like you to try and see what you are doing to yourself by eating from the toxic buffet. You are basically bullying your own body into believing what you are sending down into your stomach is good for you.

The mere mention of the word cancer and healing remedies garners opinions, curious or otherwise, people want to know about this dastardly disease and how to ward it off, or fight it here and now. But no one likes the answer. No one has the intense self-control that it takes to ward off the disease or combat the disease. They’ll cross that bridge when they get there.

It has only been six months for me since I was diagnosed and while I’m not schooled in health and nutrition, I’ve come a long way in the knowledge of what works and what doesn’t. Yesterday I ventured into the ‘Healing The C Naturally’ group and told them of the results of my blood test. These women are all going through the exact same thing. It is a ‘closed group’ for the very reason I stated above, there are bullies out there who want to tear you down.

I was afraid to post the results last week because quite frankly I wanted to bask in the good results before someone (from the BC group) said that this was a normal result. Instead, I was met with congratulations and good job, and questions like ‘how did you get your B12 up?’ I wasn’t expecting that, I was expecting them to say it is normal to have normal results like mine so you see, my blood test results were NOT normal for patients of the dreaded C. So I may get to bask a little longer in these promising results. One person did say, "Not to poop on your party, but B12 will be high if you're taking B12 and get tested." My response, "Nothing can poop on my party, these results were more than just about B12." And a big smiley face followed.

I have the strength of Iron Man! The self-control of Super Man and the love and grace of my Almighty God. Those three things are what you need to fight off illness, wrestle with a disease, or utilize in your battle to lose weight. To become healthy you need self-discipline, you need to see that you are worth the effort to stay alive.

I sometimes hit a roadblock, basically when I go to Wall-E World not because of just food but because of the amount of ignorance in people in general; other than that my days are filled with gratitude and appreciation. When I hear people say that they could never do what I’m doing or eat what I’m eating it is only because we are a spoiled, conditioned nation of people who are happy eating unhealthily. They are happy when they look in the mirror, are pleased as punch when they go to the doctors and yet another illness has crept up on them and satisfied living the YOLO life.

If you stand naked in front of the mirror and are not happy with what you see it is time you learned self-control of the unhealthy foods going into your mouth and make yourself worth it to eat the healthy foods. I’m not standing on a high horse here, believe me; I had to give up a lot to be able to tell you this. I agree it sux that I can’t have a big old slice of pizza with all of the fixings. It hurts to not be able to just scarf down whatever food I want. BUT and this is a big but… my BUTT thanks me for the changes! (that was my attempt at a funny.)

In six months I’ve lost thirty-two pounds and if you dare say it’s because I don’t eat, you’d be lying to yourself. I eat very good, very healthy non-toxic food.  That’s the problem, people don’t WANT to eat healthily. People WANT to eat and die happy eating. I have total self-control when it comes to eating and drinking and no I didn’t always eat this way but I like to think I’ve always had self-control and that might be the reason I’ve never been overweight.

I gave up drugs and alcohol, not with any program to help me, I did it with self-control and learning to love myself more than my fixation. When people drink, they are drinking to bury something inside. They are not drinking to be casual because they just like it, they are drinking to hide something or bury something and they've yet to admit that is what they're doing.

The same goes for food; when you over indulge, pig out, or eat unhealthy food shoved in your face, you are doing that to mask pain not because you want to eat what you want, you’re lying to yourself. You might even say to yourself that you have no hidden pain, no past trauma, no regrets, nothing detrimental that inhibits your inner growth, you just like eating junk food. If that is you, then more power to you. 

You will watch pounds shed off of you like dry skin when you work on healing your inner self and watch the foods going into your mouth. Self-control, if you have none I can guarantee sickness is waiting at your door, a disease is lurking waiting to pounce, cancer is in hiding waiting to come out and play. 

Learn how to control the unhealthy fats going into your body by eating healthy fats. You don’t need to be a vegetarian, vegan or a plant based eater, you need to have self-control. The difference in a believer and nonbeliever is control. You’re controlling what goes into your mind. Why can’t people have the same control over the foods that go into their bodies? 

A mushroom

You Only Live Once

1 Chron. 29:13 “Now therefore, our God, we thank thee, and praise thy glorious name.”

You only live once!

I hear this too often from people justifying their unhealthy eating and drinking habits. “Well, you only live once, so I’m going to eat all I can whenever and whatever I want.” But when you get sick and on your deathbed, you don’t realize what you are putting your loved ones through. Was that toxic double burger, with melted cheddar, fried onions, lettuce and tomato worth putting your family through an emotional hell that they have to live with for the rest of their lives?

What’s so ironic is I was never overweight, never thought I had bad eating habits, but here I sit with an illness that many people wouldn’t have the strength or willpower to fight, nevertheless, have their families fight for them. I’ve never gone on a diet in my life, I never colored my hair, heck, I’ve never even been to the beauty parlor in my life. Mani/Pedi? What are those? (I know what they ARE but you get my meaning, I’ve never had the NEED for them.) FYI: I am a self-maintenance woman!

You see, I’ve always been conscientious of what I put into my body so I could live a nice long life for my family. That is why my battle with drugs/alcohol happened at the ripe age of twenty-one. Now here I am, with an illness that has FORCED me to rethink life, and my unhealthy eating habits. What did I eat that was so unhealthy? Pasta, bread, processed meats, canned food, a Pepsi a day, yeah one! And three cups of coffee. I was never a big sweets and dessert person, which I am so glad because this disease would’ve more than likely hit sooner! All foods that turned out to be the toxins eating me away.

Yup, this disease loves sugar and carbs and I’ve eliminated them too late. Or is it in time? We’ll have to see on that one. I have every bit of faith that God and I will nip this thing in the butt and in the meantime I just want to scream from the rooftops, or from this blogosphere, LIFE IS SHORTER THAN YOU THINK, PEOPLE!!!

As my doctor bills mount from what my insurance didn’t cover, I didn’t draw concern because I knew that God in all His Glory assured me that He had this covered, and sure enough, He does!!!! Miracles DO HAPPEN! Every day I wake and praise a Mighty God, trusting Him to carry me through another day and praising Him for waking me to pass through this day. I thank Him every morning I wake up and am grateful to Him for allowing me the opportunity to feel so dadgum good in a world drenched in sickness. I am empowered to be His voice in trying darkened times. 

I’m wondering if you’re all tired of me talking about my unwavering faith and trust in God? Tired of me talking about the toxic lives we live? I can’t help it, friends. The way I see it, some of my words (or links) might provide you with the change you NEED or were looking for but kept putting off because, “Hey, we only live once, I’m going to do what I want and eat what I want and die HAPPY!” Maybe you see me and what I’m going through with vitality and want a bit of what I have. I'll share, I have God, life, energy, and a most humble nature (and the best friends ever.)

Rest assured, I can guarantee if ‘you only live once’ is the way you feel about life, you will NOT die happy. You will be relinquished to a fetal position in some uncaring hospital, allowed to dry up, wither and die, ALONE! But if you have a family, they get to witness your brutal choice of this death scene.

Jam. 5:5 “Ye have lived in pleasure on the earth, and been wanton; ye have nourished your hearts, as in a day of slaughter.”

You see, you live for the pleasure of the day. You don’t think of tomorrow, or your children or grandchildren, you live for you and your happiness. You have the theory ingrained in your head that ‘you only live once’ and that scares me as I think of heaven and it not being as full as people ‘who only live once’ will never have the pleasure of seeing. I hold eternity in my pocket!

I think that’s what makes me different among men (and women), I don’t live for earthly pleasures, I live for one day getting the opportunity to kiss heavens gate and to be welcomed in with open arms.

I have plenty to keep me busy these days around the house to ready myself for spring, like Spring cleaning! Yes, I love this time of year, out with the old, in with the new! I am healing, I am well, and I am LIVING! Living for my God! 
May God reach out to each and every one of you and rain blessings upon you!

Pss. 9:1 “I will praise thee, O LORD, with my whole heart; I will shew forth all thy marvellous works.”

The Weight Of The Matter

Matt. 11: 28-29 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.”

Last year when I got married I sent my mother wedding pictures. The first thing she said to me when she received them was, “You put on weight.” What I heard was, “You’re fat you need to diet and lose weight!” But she immediately followed it up with, “but you look GOOD!” Whew, she scared me there for a minute.

You see, when I left home thirteen years ago my weight was borderline undernourishment at 105-110 lbs. I’m 5’4” and it might be what the medical charts at the time deemed a normal weight for my height, I felt too thin when my jeans of teen years of a size 3-5 fit. After arriving in Texas I began eating regularly and could feel my health in my weight gain change.

I wasn’t scared or paranoid because I knew I was still taking care of myself, walking and getting a decent amount of exercise with the amount of food I was eating. As years passed by I did put on weight and I grew to a whopping 130 lbs. And ballooning into a size 7! It sounds like a lot to me because this was 25 added pounds but everyone keeps saying over and over that with age comes weight gain. And well, I’m not a teen anymore.

I recently looked at a weight chart to see what is normal for a 5’4” woman and wouldn’t you know, I’m now a ‘normal’ weight for my height? I was never concerned with my weight before, never owning a scale and the only time I was weighed was when I had a doctor visit, in other words, hardly ever. 

When I talked to my brother last year, he told me that my dad, on his deathbed, took one look at his son and said, “You put on weight.” (My nephew had lost a large amount of weight but apparently gained some of it back), that is what my dad was referring to but I can bet my nephew heard the same thing I did when my mother told me I had put on weight. 

I never noticed it before but it seems it’s all about weight. My sister is too skinny, my cousin is too big, ‘I’ have gained weight, my nephew has put on weight, my (overweight) aunt lost too much weight when she got cancer and became unrecognizable as a thin woman and it goes on and on! Not just in my family, I see a lot of friends with health issues and weight problems and I think to  myself, what is the world coming to that we judge people by the size of their weight?

How and why have we as a human race become so obsessed with our weight and our looks? Why do we feel that we need to be a certain way so as not to be scrutinized? Why can’t we age gracefully and with dignity? So what if your hair gets thinner and grayer as you get older? So what if you get beautiful ‘I lived life’ lines on your face? Why does everyone need to point out that ‘yes’ with age things change?

Well, I used this in a post on facebook five years ago and it had nothing to do with the political year, mind you. "Change is change. Trees change every season do we complain? Our perennials change, do we gripe? Sometimes we just need to learn something from a change, whether good or bad, in one way or another, we too will be changed because of change."

When Jesus was carrying the cross, it was never about the weight of the cross. He knew that with that cross there was going to be change, change that people would HAVE to accept or deny. He was more than willing to carry the weight of a HUMAN RACE. That’s right people, He knew no color, He did not pick and choose what gender was right or wrong. He didn’t separate Himself from the heavy and the thin. The only weight He knew was the weight of the cross and that for thousands of years (ages) the cross would carry change!

Listen people, we’re on the threshold of change. Yes this is a political year and there is going to be change, for better or for worse, change is inevitable. You’re getting older, there is going to be changes in your body and health. That little baby you’re holding, he/she is going to change. He won’t be a baby forever and you my friend are not going to be young forever.

Instead of pointing out and poking fun at the changes taking place, embrace them! Yes, you're getting older, grayer, heavier, thinner, wrinklier, weightier but know this, there is no burden too big that the Cross didn’t bear at the finish line. Carrying the cross was bigger than any challenge that you and I face on a daily basis. Think about that.

I think I see why non-believers don’t believe in the Jesus story because who in their right mind would carry a cross and be hung on it for millions of people nevertheless a single friend. We live in a selfish society that won’t even let the slow driver in front of us enjoy their ride at a slow pace because we’re in a hurry to be first. We live in a society that doesn’t embrace change unless it’s our make-up and hair color, we live in a world where it is all about the facade.

When you meet someone for the first time, before looking at their size, or how many wrinkles they have or how gray their hair is, notice first that they are human and are living life, aging and growing just like you! If you see a person's inner beauty first, you won’t even see their outer shell for judgment.

2 Cor. 4:17 “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;”

Weight On My Shoulders

2 Cor. 4:17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about heaven. I don’t know, it’s a quirk of mine. I’m hard pressed to see the Light in this world so sometimes I think of what heaven must be like without all the evil running around. It must be, takes a deep breath, heaven.

I had always made a false assumption that just believing in Jesus, accepting Him as my Savior and asking for forgiveness (over and over mind you) would assure me of at least one rung on the ladder to the so-called Pearly Gates, right? Wrong.

You see, I don’t think I’ve ‘got it right’ with God and on a daily basis I strive to get it right but sometimes I think I’m an epic fail. I walk with ‘blind faith’, I think that is the term, because I walk on faith alone not needing the proof so many Christians seek.

Blind faith is something people believe without any evidence to support it, but my faith has been sustained BY evidence of what I’ve seen and beheld, so blind faith is the wrong term for me. So what next, the weight of the Bible.

Have you ever risen on any given day and your first thought is of food? Coffee? Anything BUT the Bible? Hmm. Here’s a concept; maybe we have an overweight society because food is all we think about. Sure many Christian’s will say, “Hey, I read the Bible!”

 Offended are they? Why? Because they think of food MORE than they think of the Bible? Can you imagine how different your life would be if every time you thought of food, you replaced it with reading a scripture verse? Can you imagine a world, that if when feeling a pang of anger/hate/disgust/bitterness you reached for a bible verse before spitting out the words of anger? I bet more and more people would be FILLED and not think of food/anger/hate/disgust.

We are a society that lives to please ourselves first and foremost. We are a hunger craved society who feels we can only be filled if we place ‘things’ in our life to fill us so that we can feel a somewhat peace, but really, seriously think if this gives you peace.

My son is always telling me I need to eat more, ‘You eat like a bird.’ Did you ever think that maybe because I am filled? Maybe because my stomach is content? My thoughts are not of food until my stomach cries out in weird gurgling noises screaming for me to nourish myself with food and water that sustain this life and its mere existence.

I’m a strange little creature. Food, coffee and cakes do not define me. God does and with that I have never in my life struggled with being overweight (or underweight for that matter). Maybe it’s my metabolism but I have always placed God first and allowed Him to be my nourishment and life sustaining food. Yup, strange little creature.

As I search for the rungs of the ladder that will eventually lead me to heaven, I need to be sure I’m getting it all right with God before that fateful day. The weight of the Bible is the most heaviest thing that you can carry and I don’t feel that I or the strongest man alive is up to the challenge. As humans, we’re destined to fail but it is by the faith and that heavy bible that the rungs of the ladder seem a possibility.

Which book of the bible, if any, have you allowed to define you? What are YOU doing to carry the weight of the Holy Book? Are you working to get it right with God?
 
May God Bless each and every one of you!