Thursday, September 29, 2016

The Weight Of The Matter

Matt. 11: 28-29 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.”

Last year when I got married I sent my mother wedding pictures. The first thing she said to me when she received them was, “You put on weight.” What I heard was, “You’re fat you need to diet and lose weight!” But she immediately followed it up with, “but you look GOOD!” Whew, she scared me there for a minute.

You see, when I left home thirteen years ago my weight was borderline undernourishment at 105-110 lbs. I’m 5’4” and it might be what the medical charts at the time deemed a normal weight for my height, I felt too thin when my jeans of teen years of a size 3-5 fit. After arriving in Texas I began eating regularly and could feel my health in my weight gain change.

I wasn’t scared or paranoid because I knew I was still taking care of myself, walking and getting a decent amount of exercise with the amount of food I was eating. As years passed by I did put on weight and I grew to a whopping 130 lbs. And ballooning into a size 7! It sounds like a lot to me because this was 25 added pounds but everyone keeps saying over and over that with age comes weight gain. And well, I’m not a teen anymore.

I recently looked at a weight chart to see what is normal for a 5’4” woman and wouldn’t you know, I’m now a ‘normal’ weight for my height? I was never concerned with my weight before, never owning a scale and the only time I was weighed was when I had a doctor visit, in other words, hardly ever. 

When I talked to my brother last year, he told me that my dad, on his deathbed, took one look at his son and said, “You put on weight.” (My nephew had lost a large amount of weight but apparently gained some of it back), that is what my dad was referring to but I can bet my nephew heard the same thing I did when my mother told me I had put on weight. 

I never noticed it before but it seems it’s all about weight. My sister is too skinny, my cousin is too big, ‘I’ have gained weight, my nephew has put on weight, my (overweight) aunt lost too much weight when she got cancer and became unrecognizable as a thin woman and it goes on and on! Not just in my family, I see a lot of friends with health issues and weight problems and I think to  myself, what is the world coming to that we judge people by the size of their weight?

How and why have we as a human race become so obsessed with our weight and our looks? Why do we feel that we need to be a certain way so as not to be scrutinized? Why can’t we age gracefully and with dignity? So what if your hair gets thinner and grayer as you get older? So what if you get beautiful ‘I lived life’ lines on your face? Why does everyone need to point out that ‘yes’ with age things change?

Well, I used this in a post on facebook five years ago and it had nothing to do with the political year, mind you. "Change is change. Trees change every season do we complain? Our perennials change, do we gripe? Sometimes we just need to learn something from a change, whether good or bad, in one way or another, we too will be changed because of change."

When Jesus was carrying the cross, it was never about the weight of the cross. He knew that with that cross there was going to be change, change that people would HAVE to accept or deny. He was more than willing to carry the weight of a HUMAN RACE. That’s right people, He knew no color, He did not pick and choose what gender was right or wrong. He didn’t separate Himself from the heavy and the thin. The only weight He knew was the weight of the cross and that for thousands of years (ages) the cross would carry change!

Listen people, we’re on the threshold of change. Yes this is a political year and there is going to be change, for better or for worse, change is inevitable. You’re getting older, there is going to be changes in your body and health. That little baby you’re holding, he/she is going to change. He won’t be a baby forever and you my friend are not going to be young forever.

Instead of pointing out and poking fun at the changes taking place, embrace them! Yes, you're getting older, grayer, heavier, thinner, wrinklier, weightier but know this, there is no burden too big that the Cross didn’t bear at the finish line. Carrying the cross was bigger than any challenge that you and I face on a daily basis. Think about that.

I think I see why non-believers don’t believe in the Jesus story because who in their right mind would carry a cross and be hung on it for millions of people nevertheless a single friend. We live in a selfish society that won’t even let the slow driver in front of us enjoy their ride at a slow pace because we’re in a hurry to be first. We live in a society that doesn’t embrace change unless it’s our make-up and hair color, we live in a world where it is all about the facade.

When you meet someone for the first time, before looking at their size, or how many wrinkles they have or how gray their hair is, notice first that they are human and are living life, aging and growing just like you! If you see a person's inner beauty first, you won’t even see their outer shell for judgment.

2 Cor. 4:17 “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;”

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Here's To Your Health

Prov. 16:24 “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.”

I’m going to start with a disclaimer. I am directing this post to an overweight society as a whole, no one person in particular. If you are over sensitive about your weight, then please spare yourself any pain and read no further. If you want to read to learn about bettering your health then read on. 

I would also like to say that I have many members of my family struggling with weight issues, aunts, uncles cousins, nephews, nieces, you name it, but in all honesty, my immediate family doesn’t have a problem (ie: mother, father, brothers). My sister at one time felt overweight after giving birth to six children and has since licked that issue. 

So why the post? Because as all my posts talk about a world that is dying I can visually look around and see why the people are so over medicated and overweight. I am not speaking to those who take medication that leads you to gain weight. I’m speaking to people who don’t care about their weight, because of the ‘we only live once’ mentality so die happily eating the fatty grease burger, smothered in bacon, cheese and mayo. 

What really started me on wanting to write this post was a meme that I’ve seen posted by too many of my friends and family! It really had me thinking about the world and the struggle it takes to take care of ones healthy eating. 

The meme read:
30 day Challenge
No chips
No potatoes
No ice cream
No fast food
No fried food
No chocolate
No white breads
No soda or juice
No cookies
No candy
Could you do it? For your health could you do it?

Not being overweight, I didn’t see where the challenge was but I imagine for an overweight society, this is a challenge that none would be willing to take. My parents were never overweight but they drank beer which gave them a few extra pounds and only when they quit drinking (for health reasons, they were forced to quit drinking and smoking) and any extra pounds they had melted off like butter on a Texas sidewalk. 

But I can see where giving up beer would be a challenge for people who love their booze so why wasn’t THAT on the challenge list? Why is the list so general? Why didn’t it say no sugar or no cholesterol, no beer? I’m thinking the list was targeted at today’s kids who need junk (unhealthy) food to get through a day of life!

To me personally, I think it is a health choice. People become overweight because of unhealthy choices (unless they have medical obesity). Again, I’m not referring to people who are overweight because of medications they take. Childhood obesity is on the rise mainly because kids stopped playing outside, riding bikes, or skating. Everything is done inside behind a screen and if you’re a parent who is overweight sitting behind a screen, you’re teaching your child that it is okay to be unhealthy and overweight. What are we teaching our kids?

Are we teaching our kids about the health concerns overweight people face? Like I said, my mother wasn’t overweight but she did develop type2 diabetes. She had an addiction to Whitman’s chocolate and a need to add at least fifteen shakes of salt from the salt shaker to all of her food. My mother never taught me about health I had to learn on my own but from my own experience in my family, I NEVER wanted to be overweight. So I watched what I ate, ate in moderation, exercised (not fanatically) and watched what I drank. 

People wonder why I don’t like chocolate, let it rot your teeth, let it place unnecessary pounds around your belt-line, let it cause you diabetes, no thank you, my preference is to not eat unhealthily. Hard lessons were enough for me to learn how not to love chocolate. I developed a dislike for it at a very young age, I’d say about 15 is when I started to become health conscious. 

I remember making Chicken noodle soup for the very first time and I gave my mother some. (She had given me the recipe but I withheld the salt.) She couldn’t get over how good it was and asked me what I did differently, I told her, no salt added. She was shocked. It didn’t curb her love of salt but a stroke in later years curbed that unhealthy intake real quick.

Have you noticed the rise in lactose intolerance? Gluten intolerance? From Scientific American: “Gluten is the primary protein component of wheat – it is what gives breads their delicious chewy texture. The only known cure for celiac disease is complete elimination of gluten from the diet – so no pizza, bagels, pasta, pancakes, waffles, doughnuts, cookies, soy sauce (it has wheat in it), licorice (ditto) … you get the idea. Even communion wafers are verboten.”

What I want you to GAIN from reading this post is that HEALTH matters! Nutrients matter! Vitamins matter! Taking care of yourself NOW matters before it is too late. Yes, there is a time when it is too late. My overweight aunt got cancer and lost weight until she died. My dad who had heart disease and wasn’t overweight just didn’t take care of himself and died of COPD. I want my son, my nieces and nephews and their children to live a long life so they NEED to take care of themselves NOW before it becomes too late. And no, never having the problem I more than likely don’t understand.

Another honest moment of why I’m writing this post. Last week I went to facebook and almost every single post the people were in pain, their meds weren’t working, were not arriving on time or the pain was too much to bear and here I was fighting my simple arthritic back pain feeling on top of the world. 

I draw concern on my friends fighting ailments. Why was I feeling so good? It just shouldn’t be so. Here I am taking the only thing I know that has helped me and that’s B12 Stress Complex (purchased at my local WalMart) and not very expensive, and B12 tablets. My fear rises when I think of going to the doctor and being diagnosed with MS or worse, cancer, so I try and take care of my weight and my health now before I NEED the medication to keep me alive.

If you say to me… ‘Well you haven’t had this, or that, or the other thing’, let me tell you, I’ve fought drug addiction, alcoholism, anxiety disorder, low self esteem, stress along with PTSD, I’ve lost two children and still to this day suffer with ailments but all without prescribed medication. I will find any herb, any vitamin or nutrient I’m lacking and I will holistically heal myself. It is what has worked for me for well over thirty years.

Now some people might ask why I don’t see the challenge above as a challenge? I’ll tell you why. Moderation that’s why!

30 day Challenge
No chips – I eat chips. Not every day and an entire bag!
No potatoes – I love potatoes. In moderation!
No ice cream – Ice Cream is a treat not a pig-out FOOD! And definitely not a stress reducer.
No fast food – Maybe once a month. I always choose the healthy menu meal. (fish or chicken) 
No fried food – I love fried food but I prefer baked or in my slow cooker. I always drain fat!
No chocolate – not a big fan of chocolate, too much as a kid pretty much deters any liking of binge eating of chocolate.
No white breads – I eat in moderation, so I’m ALLOWED to eat breads and pastas!
No soda or juice – I have one soda a day. (not fat free or diet)
No cookies – Chocolate chip are my fave! I might have one or two…or  three!
No candy – RARELY! Three times a year! (Easter, Halloween, Christmas)

Could you do it? For your health could you do it? I do do it...for my HEALTH

I just want to add that I rarely eat cakes and pies, sure they’re good once a year but every night? Once a week? No, no, no, not for me. My son is always telling me that I eat like a bird. Well hey, maybe them birds are onto something. I never glance out my window and see an overweight bird fly into a window now, do you?

I also drink about a gallon of water a day, maybe more (in winter too). I don’t drink booze, I drink Green Tea. We have an iced tea maker and I make a gallon of green tea (3-4 tea bags) and refrigerate it and heat it up a cup at a time before bed. Some people say green tea is too strong so that is why I use three or four per gallon, to get the HEALTH benefits of Green Tea without the bitterness of the taste.

I’m sorry if you’re battling weight issues, I’m more sorry that your health and living is not important enough to you to stay alive for your children and grandkids and great grandkids. Please don’t tell me that a salad is more expensive than a burger, it is all a matter of CHOICE and MODERATION, not price!   

Below are some links that might help with your battle with over medication. I have to put God in here somewhere don’t I? ‘I’ believe that God placed a resource for EVERY ailment we face on this earth in the form of herbs and vegetables. For me, prescribed medication will be the last resort. When you read that *I’m* on medication, then know I’m in my last days and the meds are only being used to prolong my life. 

Please don’t misunderstand me, I am NOT condemning anyone for taking medications for what ails you. I’m only saying that maybe, JUST MAYBE there is a cheaper alternative to prescription drugs. My mother pays well over $200 a month on prescription drugs. When my dad was sick in the hospital last year she didn’t take them for almost two months. After he passed, she told her doctor and the doctor told her, but they’re keeping you alive! She LIVED two months without taking them. Do your research.  

Links below:

Foods that will clean, repair and produce new cells in your body

12 Healing Herbs

25 Healing Herbs

75 Safe and Effective Herb al Remedies

10 Turmeric Benefits Superior to Medications

Turmeric – Pros and Cons – Be sure to click the tab for side effects

18 NATURAL Sleep Aids

If you're going to argue how expensive the herbs and vitamins are, think about that the next time you're at a fast food restaurant splurging, or food shopping for chips and soda. Think MODERATION!

Monday, September 26, 2016

Follow Me

Prov. 1:16 “For their feet run to evil, and make haste to shed blood.”

On my blog I have a follow button, over there to your left, you see it? I had 114 followers but google changed some things around and people have to have a google account to follow me, so fourteen of my followers went to the wayside. They were not google followers.

You know, Jesus asked people to follow him and while I don’t concern myself as much focusing on His followers, I’d like to reach out to the non-followers and ask them to join me in a walk. A walk that many followers have tread. Some have fallen; I myself have staggered quite a few times trudging up the mountain but a beautiful Light always pulled me back.

Mark 8:34 “And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.”

I know comparing my loss of followers to Jesus’ loss of followers is stretching it but bear with me on this one. I wonder if Jesus concerned Himself with the loss of followers or did he just go on with his ministry turning a blind eye to those sheep that strayed. Did he not concern himself with the straying sheep and was only concerned with his close followers? I myself don’t think so.

Did He want you to worry about YOU or did he want you to care and nurture your straying neighbor? To me that’s kind of like seeing a man beating a woman and saying, hey it’s none of my business, I could get myself killed if I intervene. I know, another stretch of the imagination, but you get me meaning. Do we ignore what is in front of our eyes or just worry about ourselves?

1 Cor. 1:10 “Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.”

Here’s the problem ‘I’ have, too many people saying too much differently. Preachers saying this, followers saying that and sometimes they’re not in agreement and that’s what causes division among men. Sometimes people map out their own words that sure sound good but is it sound doctrine? I DO concern myself with sound doctrine and I DO focus on sound doctrine. 

I personally read the King James Version of the bible and I don’t even know if this is the truest of translations, what with all the talk of the apocryphal books (not divine words from God) being put in, kept out, kept hidden. The truth is this, God hides nothing. 

Doesn’t that separate us? Does it bring us together in the same mind? Not if one person interprets the Word differently. It looks to me to be a major problem, everyone seeing what they want to see and doing what they want where the bible is concerned. Me I’m just trying to interpret what the bible means to ME and if following the lost herd of sheep is a direction, I am not going that way. If my words mean something to you, that is all well and good.

If you’re just discovering God, then you too will be pulled in many directions. I don’t think ministers and pastors mean for it to happen, it just happens but it also leaves you confused with what and who to follow.

Eph. 4:14-15  “That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:”

My focus is on the truth. God is my truth and you, no matter what, need to discern what the truth is to you. As I find healing in my written words because I am being led by the Word of God and all of the fragrances of truth that tickle my nose leave ME feeling complete and whole. You can follow me and my blog, but I’d much rather you seek the truth and follow Him. 

John 14:6 “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Quotation Saturday

Eph. 4:18 “Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart:”


“Save your skin from the corrosive acids from the mouths of toxic people. Someone who just helped you to speak evil about another person can later help another person to speak evil about you.” 
― Israelmore Ayivor

“Bloodshed begets bloodshed. Hatred begits hatred.” 
― Hiromu Arakawa

“Thoughts are like an open ocean, they can either move you forward within its waves, or sink you under deep into its abyss.”
― Anthony Liccione

“Beware of those who are bitter, for they will never allow you to enjoy your fruit.” 
― Suzy Kassem


“When you are joyful, when you say yes to life and have fun and project positivity all around you, you become a sun in the center of every constellation, and people want to be near you.” 
― Shannon L. Alder

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.” 
― Ashley Smith

“Do not dilute the truth of your potential. We often convince ourselves that we cannot change, that we cannot overcome the circumstances of our lives. That is simply not true. You have been blessed with immeasurable power to make positive changes in your life. But you can't just wish it, you can't just hope it, you can't just want it... you have to LIVE it, BE it, DO it.” 
― Steve Maraboli,

“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity.” 
― Roy Bennett


“Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.” 
― Eoin Colfer

“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” 
― Martin Luther King Jr.

“The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.” 
― Daniel J. Boorstin

“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.” 
― Harlan Ellison


“Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the wrong. Sometime in life you will have been all of these.” 
― Lloyd Shearer

“It's an universal law-- intolerance is the first sign of an inadequate education. An ill-educated person behaves with arrogant impatience, whereas truly profound education breeds humility.” 
― Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

“Laws alone can not secure freedom of expression; in order that every man present his views without penalty there must be spirit of tolerance in the entire population.” 
― Albert Einstein

“Don't be in a hurry to condemn because he doesn't do what you do or think as you think or as fast. There was a time when you didn't know what you know today.” 
― Malcolm X

Friday, September 23, 2016

Light In The Dark

Outside my back door!

Pss. 1:1-2  "Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.

Light in the Dark

Well, I’m taking a much needed break from the internet activities that had absorbed my world. Hey, I’ve even gotten some cleaning done in the process. It’s pretty amazing what happens when you prioritize your time and eliminate the Black Hole of negativity that tries to consume you on every click. 

I’m still here writing! There is no Black Hole that can take that away from me because basically, it is my medicine to get all the dark out and let the light into my world. I’m trying to be a light in the dark and while some might see me as a self-righteous snob others see me as the inspirational message that they might need to hear on any given day. 

I need to say this in my own defense of my recent ramblings. If there is a person out there reading my words and thinks I’m speaking about them directly and their lives then you need to do a deep soul searching to find the reason you feel that I’m speaking about you in particular.

When there are hundreds or thousands, possibly millions of people on the same conscious stream, meaning everyone thinking alike, you are bound to think I am targeting you in general. That’s what a writer does without pinpointing one person.  We write about the collective whole and finding the vein that pulsates from your weakness. And technically, that is what it is, a weakness you have embraced and not healed from within yourself. 

We all hold a light force deep within us but many allow the black hole of a negative society to own them. The light cannot and will not shine no matter how much you fake the you that you display to the world. There is a healing place and the only one that I’ve found for myself is not from friends or family, because sometimes they are transmitters of negativity and if anyone knows my family, you would say, run for your life child. 

No, my healing place is meditation on the Word. I find positive energy in the Light and love of the Psalms and Proverbs. Yes the entire bible is to be read (Old and New Testament) but to actually find the light force, you need to meditate on the positive elements, not the chronological aspects that might leave you with questions, bewilderment, a need for proof and more answers. 

There’s a healing place that is not meant to be hidden in the bible, but so many get lost with the metaphors or timeline of events and the shroud of darkness that is in the Bible; elements of incest, rape, and murder. They get lost trying to figure it all out when the Bible was meant to be a tool for you to build or rebuild the life you have before you.

Do you think it was coincidence that the chosen ones were sinners among men? Do you think that Joseph, the carpenter, wasn’t some form of symbolism of the life we are to build in Christ? The bible is heavy laden with metaphors and symbolism and God asks us not to get tied up with dissecting them but to hear the word, live the word and build your life around the word. Then and only then will you emit a Light that no dark hole can ever swallow and penetrate. 

As I watch a dark hole swallow up the people in society, I want to reach right in and grab them before they get pulled so far into the hole that they can never get out. You can and WILL lose the battle because the oxygen sustaining life will be sucked right out of you and there is no turning back.

I apologize to anyone whom my words hurt, if any. I write to make you (people in general) aware of the fine line between right and wrong. Yes, I’m a sinner and get tugged on more occasions than I care to mention but I fight, fists first to win a battle of good and evil, for me, good always wins! It’s the optimist in me. I will always see the Light in the dark and BE the light in the dark times. 

Praise be to God!

Joel 1: 15-20 “Alas for the day! for the day of the LORD is at hand, and as a destruction from the Almighty shall it come. 
Is not the meat cut off before our eyes, yea, joy and gladness from the house of our God? The seed is rotten under their clods, the garners are laid desolate, the barns are broken down; for the corn is withered. How do the beasts groan! the herds of cattle are perplexed, because they have no pasture; yea, the flocks of sheep are made desolate.
O LORD, to thee will I cry: for the fire hath devoured the pastures of the wilderness, and the flame hath burned all the trees of the field.
The beasts of the field cry also unto thee: for the rivers of waters are dried up, and the fire hath devoured the pastures of the wilderness.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Shining Star

Rom. 2:5-6  “But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. God “will repay each person according to what they have done.”

Shining Star

I go out back of my house on any given night to look at the expansive sky. I see a massive amount of stars shining like diamonds glistening in the sand. I live out in the middle of nowhere so my world out here is blanketed in a crisp clear view of the cosmos.

Dark matter tries to swallow the big exploding balls of gas but it doesn’t always win in the destruction of the beautiful force of light. This is how I see life nowadays. I see streams of light trying to hide from the dark matter but there is a Black Hole that people seem to live in shedding off all their matter in the cosmos and drowning out the shining stars.

“A Black Hole is defined as a region of spacetime from which extremely strong gravity prevents anything, including light, from escaping. We know that matter falling into black holes is no different from the matter which can be found lurking around the rest of the Universe.”

This is what earth has become; the inhabitants are like a Black Hole failing to let any light escape because I believe the earthlings are here to deplete the living of any oxygen. And sadly, they are okay with this mass destruction. Thank you political aficionados of the world. You have destroyed any chance of survival and if you foolishly think ‘not in my lifetime, kiddo’, you are sadly mistaken.

You know, the problem arises when I try to post a news source, it doesn’t fit your PC worldview. Is it left, is it right? Either way, it is going to be deemed wrong. If I say UP you say down, if I say Light, you say Dark and the world spins and spins by this widely accepted rhetoric and I truly want off this merry-go-round.

FACT: Really read this from NASA!!!

“A black hole is a place in space where gravity pulls so much that even light can not get out. The gravity is so strong because matter has been squeezed into a tiny space. This can happen when a star is dying.

Because no light can get out, people can't see black holes. They are invisible. Space telescopes with special tools can help find black holes. The special tools can see how stars that are very close to black holes act differently than other stars.”

From ME: Humanity is a Black Hole, a place where negativity pulls on the human psyche so much that it doesn’t allow a morsel of light to shine from within. Because the Light is buried deep in the depths of you, it can’t get out. People would need all six of their senses to really see this Black Soul but know, when people are fed your negative vibrations they begin to act differently (you fill them with hate) than the ones who are REALLY Shining Stars in the world, emitting light and making it through far away from the Black holes of space. 

I can’t be a part of your vortex of hate.  You [society as a whole] say just live life to the fullest! Laugh, drink and be merry. Life is too short to be anything else. This sounds all well and good but how on earth can you live life and be merry when you know the world is going to deplete you of oxygen and you’re going to stop breathing and become a rotted corpse sunk into the earth?  

Oh wait a minute, you have a getaway ticket to the Castles in the sky with a doorway to Heaven open to YOU because you are just so special! You did absolutely nothing to obtain the ticket, you just know your thoughts are going to carry you away into a space after your last breath is taken away from you on this planet.

I read a facebook page called, Too Young to Die, someone from back in Baltimore started the page and people go there announcing who in the ‘neighborhood’ died. They utter words like, “Now they’re angels in heaven, sitting around with [such and such] drinking all the brew they can.” Talk about an oxymoron! Heaven + beer, the only time I heard the two together was in a song ‘In heaven there is no beer, that’s why we drink it here.’ Sad isn’t it?

What a warped image people have of Heaven. Druggies actually think they’re going to heaven to continue in their drug addiction (or beer, or wine) but no, my image of heaven is not one of drugs and people sitting around a big party. That’s like saying in heaven Mother Teresa is sitting there beside Hitler. Think about it, or not, just live life to the fullest and worry about heaven when you get there, or seconds before your last breath.

I know, people are wondering why I’m thinking about heaven. Well, to be honest, I’ve always thought of heaven, maybe that is why my faith grew and grew because heaven was always on my mind, getting there or not getting there. Would I be accepted or shunned? Would I be laughed at or welcomed? Would I ascend or descend?

Maybe the longer I steer clear of the toxic people who show their TRUE colors that no one wants to see, maybe then I’ll be able to put the shine back in my posts and allow the shining star that I know I am on the inside to break through the black hole of society.

While they can play with their faith, play the good guy then the bad guy, then bask in hate and anger and vengeance maybe the world will see what they are doing. I feel I’m alone in this stardust. We’ll see after I give myself more time to heal from this fiasco of a world. I WILL come out SHINING and still love myself when I look in the mirror. 

Isaiah 61:10 “I will greatly rejoice in the LORD, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels.”

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

A Break... I'm Not Clay

Pss. 38:10 “My heart panteth, my strength faileth me: as for the light of mine eyes, it also is gone from me.”

A Break… I’m Not Clay

It is with great distress that I need to announce a break. Whether physically or mentally I know myself too well to stick around to watch the hellfires consume the people I love. I want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart who has inspired me to continue writing. This year has been an active place of healing for me, and I thank you with love.

You’ve told me over and over again how I lift your spirits, how you love my honest writing, how it is I that inspires YOU when it is some of you that inspires ME! I look for that inspiration every day in my life but don’t always find it where I look. Am I looking in the wrong places? Apparently yes. 

Facebook is becoming a desert, a desolate place where vultures linger and seek to suck every bit of life out of one living cactus. I’m a very sensitive person to the point the tiniest pinprick causes me to burst in a way I’m not accustomed to. Sorry, I don’t play your little games of ‘popularity’. Games, that’s all it is behind your mask. Well, I’m not clay, you’re not going to shape me into a hater, racist pig. I see people thinking they’re helping by spreading hate but they are a part of the demolition crew that is destroying this world.

Whether it is in YouTube comments or Yahoo comments or on Facebook, the vultures feed off of the sensitivity and I cringe when I hear/read the battle cry of joy when they’ve doused the light of the one shining brightness in a darkened world. They enjoy seeing people in pain. It is some kind of sickness that they embrace and I totally need to step away, to breathe.

A reality hit me last week when I had the pleasure of listening to this tiny little twelve-year-old, Grace VanderWaal, sing her heart out. 

One of her songs went like this:
I don’t know my name
I don’t play by the rules of the game
So you say I’m just trying
Just trying… to find my way.

Another of her songs Clay was one of my favorites. It touched me in a place that not many long time experienced writers touch me and here was this little girl, thinking she couldn’t sing, taking the world by storm and marking her spot in history. The elite vultures are going to devour her and place the obstacles of fame and popularity on her doorstep and while she has loving parents to protect her, they can only do so much.

“Your silly words
I won't live inside your world 
Cause your punches and your names
All your jokes and stupid games
They don't hurt
No they don't hurt
Watch them just go right through me
Because they mean nothing to me

I'm not clay” 
~ 12-year-old singer/songwriter Grace VanderWaal lyrics 

Like me wanting to protect people from their harsh reality of prejudice, racism, bigotry and hypocritville, people fall victim day in and day out and there is no protector. Sure they claim they have God as a protector, but too many times I see them as food for the vultures more than I see the Living God in them. They are being devoured and I have a weak stomach for mangled flesh.

Yesterday my stomach churned as if I was on the Zipper at the fair. I watched a good movie but it wasn’t enough to help relieve the motion sickness I felt in my stomach for mankind. Satan is trying to attack me from every angle whether it is my son (who will be out of his new job in two months due to the store closing down) or my love of nature; my ceramic birdbath fell yesterday cracking like a clay vase falling from the thirteenth floor with irreparable damage. Then there is the loss of respect for friends I once admired and looked up to as they slither in the snake pit, now I only see a darkness shrouding their beings. It’s all too much for me to bear and TRY to be a positive light in these dark and solemn times. I need to re-energize.

Maybe a break will help. Maybe I’ll unplug the computer completely and just vanish in an air of shrouded mystery. Maybe a day or two will be enough or maybe I need more time, only time will tell, eh? I need to breathe and only my commitments will stay while I take a step back from virtual reality. It’s not and never was a nice fit for me. TO ME, the virtual world is a huge department store on Black Friday filled to capacity with nude mannequins. I see a human off in the distance but I’ll never reach them because the mannequins will topple on top of me and smother me to death.

When I feel the anger and negativity start to boil over like water left on the stove, and I begin to lash out with hatred in my veins I know it’s time for me to get away from that which sickens me. I won’t be molded and formed into the hate-filled people that seem to run the virtual society. People are vicious and they hold no shame. Me, I’m ashamed of this place. I need to breathe because I’m NOT CLAY!

Author's note: *
*sorry Mike, I tried to see the good in a damned world. 
* I'll continue writing, bookmark my blog 

Deuteronomy 31:6 KJV 
Be strong and of a good courage, 
fear not, nor be afraid of them: 
for the LORD thy God, 
he it is that doth go with thee; 
he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.

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