Tuesday, December 09, 2008

As Christmas Day Draws Near...

I will return to my writing blog in three weeks. If you wish to continue with me for the next three weeks, I'll be sharing the Season of Christmas JOY! ~Joni

As Christmas Day draws near…

As the Christmas holidays draw near everyone’s trimming the tree; mistletoe and holly adorn the doorways; the scent of pine lingers throughout. The Holidays have officially arrived.

I’m associated with a writing site and by all accounts my friends see me with a happy-go-lucky attitude and an air of peace and tranquility. It’s amazing what a screen can keep away from even your closest of friends.

Would they know that on the other side of the screen sits a woman, who in the past three months has stood in line at the overflowing food pantry? Would they even suspect that my fiance has lost his job due to some technical ‘rule’ that was broken giving his company the opportunity to deny him all unemployment and insurance benefits? Does the company know they fired a blind man?

Do my friends know that the welfare lines are as long as the pantry lines? Are they so involved with their daily lives that they never get a glimpse of the reality that hangs in the balance before them?

I know when I turned to my family (except for my parents and my fianc├ęs mother) I was turned out cold. No one could help or even lend a twenty-dollar bill to get milk. No communication, no nothing.

I turned to my church and the pastor stole my hope. He said that Social Security was more than likely (except for a miracle) going to be denied my fiance. The man is blind and he’s going to be denied? “Get a lawyer,” he tells us.” He sent me to the Pantry, said that the church would help with whatever they didn’t, and it turned out the Christian Community group was only willing to help with 200 dollars of an eight hundred dollar rent payment. The church paid the rest but when asked for help with the telephone, Internet, electric, necessities to make it another month, we were denied, PARENTS helped!

I pleaded with the Church and the C.C. to understand my predicament. I’m a writer. Not a Stephen King- I- make millions writer, but a WRITER who has worked five years on this dream.(Twenty years if you count the years I couldn’t ‘pursue’ it.) I was told to get a ‘real’ job. A real job in an economy where there are NO JOBS.

By November, I was ready to be scared and fearful for what the holidays would bring, but I had my faith clutched in my hand and held close to my heart. I wore a shield of armor, and as many sit there thinking the same thing everyone else thinks, “That faith of yours isn’t going to buy you food and keep a roof over your head.”

I’m here to tell you that my faith has done THAT and MORE! My November & December rent is paid, I have food in abundance, my Internet (and writing) is still moving forward, my bills are paid and my son, my fiance, and I might just have a Christmas after all!

You might ask what Christmas day will hold for me? Is my January rent paid, bills etc. and I will tell you that only the Lord knows what Christmas day will hold. Should I tremble in fear at the empty tree? Should I quiver wondering where any funds are going to come from? I will boldly tell you that believing in God is more than mere lip service you pay. FAITH is walking with God, trusting in Him completely. I will hold my head high in the Glory of Faith!

When you can be broken to shards and put yourself back together, that is Faith carrying you. If you remain broken, it is because your lips move but God can’t hear what you’re saying. Talking the talk and walking the walk are two totally different things.

May God Bless you as you walk beside Him. May you find the season wrought with joy and harmony. May you find happiness in the miracles. He has faith in you, why not have FAITH in him? If you are blind, may the miracle of Christmas allow you to SEE!

continued tomorrow...


Granny said...

My dear joni, you are in my prayers as always and I will throw in a extra one just because you deserve it!

I know you speak the truth about Faith, as I have also witnessed the miracles of prayer and uncertainty, with only my faith to pull me through. Fortunately, my family has always been there to help in the rough times, but that in itself is a blessing from God.

May God continue to watch over you and may your Faith continue to sustain you.

Your friend in Christ!

joni said...

I knew you'd be the first to come, I just knew it! :-)

With friends like you, who needs family? lol

Really, you've read alot of my story already and I 'thought' I could finish it but wouldn't ya know it, another snoball came rolling down the mountain!

I think that is why people wait to write memoirs. The story never really ends.

And remember as long as I have the Lord, I have everything! It is what keeps me smiling everyday!

When someone says, "How can you be happy?" I say, "I love God!"

Nuff said! O:-)

God Bless Gran,
Your sister in Christ ALWAYS!


June said...

Joni -- I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. :)

Your faith is incredible, and this will pull you through.

By the way, blindness seems to be one of the few things that SSD accepts without having to go get a lawyer. So hope this works quickly for you and your family.

You have my private email and I EXPECT YOU TO USE IT -- when you need some extra thoughts and prayers and whatever....I'm here.

Take care,