Flower of Effort ~ A Mother's Day poem for ME

Ezek.: 19:10 "Thy mother is like a vine in thy blood, planted by the waters: she was fruitful and full of branches by reason of many waters."

Flower of Effort

copyright © Adam Zipp

Rainbows over a sun settled sea

Gardens flowing in an effortless breeze

Time forever changing

We ask ourselves what it means to be

Similar to a tree

Trunk so tall and thick

Bark as tough as brick

Growing in an open field

A spot that's hard to pick

Stoic and unmoving

Green and forever growing

Not everyone can be such a powerful thing

Some must settle to grow as a flower

To make up for their lacking in power

Through effort and courage

To withstand the weather

And the cold that comes in November

To understand the effort

Know what lies beneath the dirt

A mask to cover the pain and hurt

Rain softens the soil

That brings the flower its comfort

In trying times

Be like the flower

with wind blowing chimes

Signs of future rain showers

So spread your petals and let them climb

No one could be prouder.

~~~~    *  ~~~~

No need to rip this apart with crits. This was my loving Mother's Day gift from my son, who happens to be following in m footsteps as a writer and poet and I couldn't be more proud!

Thank you, Adam! I love you!

The Onion: Peeling Away Layers

1 John 1:5 “This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.”

The Onion: Peeling Away the Layers

An onion, peeled away, layer by layer unveils a richness of flavor and health benefits; onions are good for you. As I peel away layers of my life, portions I had long forgotten and portions I’ll never forget are resurfacing. Sometimes it takes an earth-shattering diagnosis to make you stand up, take a full inventory of what you’ve stored and what needs to be let go. 

It has only been four months (this coming Wednesday) of my diagnosis that I began peeling away every essence of my being. At first I was distraught and I wanted to surrender to a slow death but instead, God had me rise above; He had me begging for life and only a life on earth with Him would suffice.

I began by peeling away layers of myself with God beside me with a broom and dustpan. He swept away the layers that brought me to this diagnosis and together we walked the healing path. Never alone I walked away from the hindrances that society would have me enslaved to, I parted ways with the negative influences that carried me here and I rose above the toxic world to find the Light of a healing path.

Isa. 18:2 “That sendeth ambassadors by the sea, even in vessels of bulrushes upon the waters, saying, Go, ye swift messengers, to a nation scattered and peeled, to a people terrible from their beginning hitherto; a nation meted out and trodden down, whose land the rivers have spoiled!”

Did you know the 555 ft. Washington Monument construction began in 1848 and six years later had to be stopped for lack of funding? It would be twenty-five years before reconstruction began again. Jesus began his ministry and it wouldn’t be complete for a couple of years but he went out building the world with miracles, His word, and laying down the path we might want to take if we are to finish being constructed in His image.

God began our individual construction the moment our mother and father lay together and produced something of a miracle inside the womb. We are all partakers of the tastes of a miracle if we are living and breathing today. Slowly we deconstructed what God built by poisoning the very building blocks He placed in us to learn, grow and beautify His creation.

We sit here today realizing the onion we are, knowing we need to peel away the years of destruction if we are ever to taste the miracle that we were created to be. Some sit in arrogant denial and feel completed but deep down they know they are far from completion. It’s going to take years to peel away the obstructions, years to rebuild all that was lost, and it will take the rest of our lives to bring forth a message. The message that God planted in us at birth needs to be exposed, expressed, delighted in, honored and respected.

I hate to break the news to you but we were not the beautiful flower seeds we believe ourselves to be. When we see a newborn infant with his or her little pudgy wrinkled up body, we are not looking at a beautiful flower, what we see is the miracle of creation. In all honesty, newborns are funny looking, wriggling little creatures, but the beauty is the breadth of the miracle we witness. 

As the child grows construction comes to a halt as we have to watch our uncompleted work go out into the world and finish what we, God, father, mother began at conception. Either the toxic work of the world takes hold, or the solid foundation that we used as building materials is built upon. Our children too will one day see the layers that need to be peeled away before seeing a completed work of art.

Even the healthiest, fit, faith-based families will need to peel away layers. They are not plucking away beautiful perfect petals of a flower, they are peeling away layers of the onion, the pain, the heartache, the would’ve, could’ve, should’ve of their entire life. The regrets falling to the floor, the resentments being placed on the dustpan, the sin that consumed us tossed in the garbage bin. We are being perfected in Christ with every blemish on our soul. 

When oncologist #2 asked me, quite frankly, “Aren’t you afraid of dying?” A smile washed over my face as I thought of meeting the Lord and said in my most serene, humble voice, “No, not at all.” While he sat perplexed at my response, I knew right then and there where I was heading. I may have a few more layers to peel, but construction of completion is underway.

All praise and Glory to the Creator!

Matt 13: 37-40 “He answered and said unto them, He that soweth the good seed is the Son of man; The field is the world; the good seed are the children of the kingdom; but the tares are the children of the wicked one; The enemy that sowed them is the devil; the harvest is the end of the world; and the reapers are the angels. As therefore the tares are gathered and burned in the fire; so shall it be in the end of this world.”

Working Through Resentment

1 Sam. 2:3 “Talk no more so exceeding proudly; let not arrogancy come out of your mouth: for the LORD is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed.”

Working Through Resentment

Working through resentment is a tough pill to swallow. It is so hard to just forgive and let go but this is truly what I’m trying to do, if only the pain didn’t go so deep. I feel like I’m swimming in an ocean with no life preserver and I’m sinking due to the weight of resentment laying heavy on me at this time. 

I resent having to eliminate much of my facebook feed to only see three or four friends that I KNOW aren’t out to butt kiss and show off. They’re actual people with things to say and post things of actual interest to me. I think the root of the problem is my actual resentment towards facebook for not being a friendly place anymore and just being a load of political zombie garbage that no one wants to take out, they just dump it in the ocean and swim. 

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” 

― Mahatma Gandhi

Who would’ve thought that Gandhi would be helping me out in this? Not me that’s for sure but I don’t judge a man because of his faith and religion and I admire a man of words, real words. But I’m sure there is someone out there ready to chide me for my choices. Oh well, such is life.

“With each opportunity before me, God presented me with a choice. I could accept His offerings, His wisdom, His grace. Or I could choose to hold onto the pain, the anger and the resentment a little longer.” 

― Sharon E. Rainey

I could go on and on of the list of the resentment war path that has curled up inside of me like a snake warming itself but seriously I’d rather work through the resentment and find a healing place where I can find solace and be free to think of my own fruition instead of having to daily build walls. But please know I do have someone ready to clean up the mess I leave behind. God is by my side all the way and I find He wants this healing from me too. He’s brought along the shovel so as we climb the mountain together we can shovel this mess over the side of a cliff and release it to the air.

I can in good conscience say this didn’t all start with the political postings that get on my last nerve, no this began when I lost my father and I’ve had a hard time dealing with the surfacing of resentment that bubbled up from the pit. 

Mrs. Peppity-Pep Goodie-two-shoes is pooped out. I’m tired, I’m done. I just can’t put on the brave face and act like nothing bothers me when here lately looking at me the wrong way will get you your head chopped off. People reach out their hand only to pull it back (fear of it being chopped off?) People know of my disability but they expect so much more than my pea brain can manage. They want to help but do nothing. How is offering to help someone by a few words helping someone, with no follow through?

My friends, I’ve said it before and I will say it time and time again that actions speak louder than words. Your actions hurt people more than help. I was already struggling not to go down into the pit but add the hate-spewers to the mix and they forced me into the pit like dunking my head under water and holding it there. Thank you. Now go on with your life pretending to be who you are not and feel good about yourself. Just know that your ignorance shines brighter than ANY scripture you can post. The bad/evil does not outweigh the good. 

I wanna be the one to walk in the sun, oh yeah, I just wanna have fun. Oh yeah I just wanna have fun. ~ similar to Cyndi Lauper’s, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. 

Am I still grieving? No, my dad is at peace and I find peace in knowing he is safe and happy. Am I depressed? Yes, the world suffocates me and I’m laughed at for my beliefs although I don’t carry that laughter with me, instead I carry God with me, the very one you claim to believe but do nothing to follow. Again, ACTIONS speak louder than WORDS.

I will lower my head for now and work through my resentment. I’ll work through the anguishing pain (another thing no one understands) and I’ll go forward into the spring with dandelion bouquets sprouted on my lawn and I will appreciate their beauty for all that they are!

I will read this poem below as daily as I pray. I will hear the words in my heart and I will find a healing place. Away from you, away from the negative flow, away from the pain burning inside me. 

Godspeed…

REMEMBER THE LOTUS FLOWER

Great people will always be mocked by those

Who feel smaller than them.

A lion does not flinch at laughter coming from a hyena.

A gorilla does not budge from a banana thrown at it by a monkey.

A nightingale does not stop singing its beautiful song

At the intrusion of an annoying woodpecker.

Whenever you should doubt your self-worth, remember the lotus flower.

Even though it plunges to life from beneath the mud,

It does not allow the dirt that surrounds it

To affect its growth or beauty.

Be that lotus flower always.

Do not allow any negativity or ugliness

In your surroundings

Destroy your confidence,

Affect your growth,

Or make you question your self-worth.

It is very normal for one ugly weed

to not want to stand alone.

Remember this always.

If you were ugly,

Or just as small as they feel they are,

Then they would not feel so bitter and envious

Each and every time they are forced

To glance up at magnificently

Divine YOU.

― Suzy Kassem

Do I Fear?

Pss. 143:7 Hear me speedily, O LORD: my spirit faileth: hide not thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down into the pit

Do I Fear...

I don’t live in fear but yesterday I felt a twinge before posting my poem post to facebook. I expected no reply and got no reply. Eighty friends and only three LIKES? Boy that makes me feel like all the writing I do is worthwhile. I haven’t posted on my FB wall since Christmas Eve and I’m all the better for it; I’ve written for the first twelve days of the New Year. I feel liberated, alone, but free from the restrictions FB places on me as a human being.

“Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.” 

~Robert Frost

As the sun rises in a flaming ball of fire and clouds brush over to hide it in the shadows I’m reminded that that is how life is. Sometimes you’re standing in the spotlight of the world with all eyes on you and then it happens, a mist falls over your face veiling you and placing you in the darkness of the shadows.

Do you cower in fear or reflect on what is taking place? I choose reflection. Only because in the shadows the reflection becomes more clear for you to see. The only thing I fear in life is the Wrath of God. As I’ve said in previous posts, I don’t feel ready to grab even the first rung of the ladder into Heaven.

As I watch others prance around in confidence or blindly traipse as if there is nothing to be concerned with, after all they’re guaranteed the walk up the ladder because they believe. I’ve said it before, I’m not so sure that just believing is the route to heaven.

“To let God make us, instead of painfully trying to make ourselves; to follow the path that his love shows us, instead of through conceit or cowardice or mockery choosing another; to trust Him for our strength and fitness as the flowers do, simply giving ourselves back to Him in grateful service,—this is to keep the laws that give us the freedom of the city in which there is no longer any night of bewilderment or ignorance or uncertainty.”
~ Sarah Orne Jewett, A Country Doctor

I found this author (thanks Bob) and practically fell in love. I’m in search of her writings because she sounds so much like me I had to do a double take. Her quote above is dead on. We can not make ourselves, only God can do that. And too often I see people trying too hard (conceit?) to make themselves something they’re not.

“Trust Him for our strength and fitness like the flowers do…” Very well put Ms. Jewett.

Flowers do not feed themselves with dogma, doctrine or debates. They are fed with earth, Light and rain. A Rose does not compete with the Lily; they have acquired their own beauty in their own right/rite. They don’t need to be the best and most popular in the garden, they just need to be…ALIVE. And THAT my friends is what I’m striving for; to simply give back to God the beauty He has shown me, nothing more, nothing less. I will walk the path He has placed in front of me and be grateful for every step I’m allowed.

May God bless you on your journey.

"I learned the hard way that I cannot always count on others to respect my feelings, even if I respect theirs. Being a good person doesn't guarantee that others will be good people. You only have control over yourself and how you choose to be as a person. As for others, you can only choose to accept them or walk away."
— Unknown Author

 

 

Lent: Day Thirty-three ~ Poetry Sunday ~ Spiritual Growth

John 7:38 (NIV) "Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."

Spiritual Growth

Now has come the season

Where my soul tends to grow.

Like living waters inside me

My spiritual growth will flow.

The buds begin to surface,

The flower not yet seen

Until the sun has nurtured

From sleep what they can glean.

The trees will slowly waken

Arise from seasonal cold;

The buds will peak in numbers

Bringing forth the springtime gold.

My soul will drink in measure

The still waters from within.

My spirit churning back to life

The new season I now begin.

Take from me the darkness,

As my slumber is called to rise

Fill me with living water

For to shed my winter cries.

Behold, a new me emerges,

As a bud turns into a flower.

Washed over by the hand of God

I’m renewed by a spiritual shower.

Pss. 51: 10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Lent: Day Nine ~ YOU are the Church

1 Cor. 1: 9 God is faithful, by whom ye were called unto the fellowship of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord.

 YOU are the Church

These words still ring in my ears, ‘YOU are the church.’ Pastor Mike said these words one week during a sermon and they’ve stuck with me ever since. What on earth did he mean?

Well he said something more like, “When you enter this building every Sunday, it is merely a building, it isn’t until all the people are gathered here that it becomes a Church, you ARE the church.”

No matter where I put the emphasis, ‘I’ am a part of the bricks (community) that form this church. That’s a lot to drink in. Many people go to church once a year for whatever reason but they are not a brick in the building, they’re a colorful decoration in the form of a flowerbed outside the building.

The once a year-ers are no different than the ones who sit at home listening to a weekly service coming through to them via the airwaves, they are a flower in the flowerbed. Don’t get me wrong, if you are sick, disabled, unable to attend a church building, you are nurturing your spirit in your own way.

But if you’re sitting at home listening because the whole ‘building’ thing is not for you, you become the soil. I know this firsthand because that was me twelve years ago. My oh my how life has changed. Changed because of a building, you say? Not at all, changed because of a community, a congregation of family, brothers and sisters of Christ bonded together, knitted like a fine afghan.

For too many years I was sitting at home week after week filling myself with God. Reading, believing and listening to the very word I would one day share with the world. Not because I’m preachy because I’m a human who has walked where you have walked, a sinner just as you but I CHOSE to change.

God is like that, you know, gives us the CHOICE to change or to stay stagnant. Growth cannot and WILL NOT happen if you don’t CHOOSE to change. Soil DOES hold the power to bring forth a flower. It also has the ability to form a brick in the making of a building.

If you attend a church and the first sermon you hear has words in it that speak of tithing and giving, and offerings, then you should leave and seek out a new church. Sometimes it takes a few visits to get to the one that speaks to YOU. If you feel the people are judging you, you should leave. If you feel uncomfortable, leave.

I remember when we first started attending church about ten years ago. We found a community that embraced us, we had the pot luck brunches, we shared, we tithed and for four years we enjoyed the church until the minister made a mistake when Steven was going blind. We were seeking Social Security and I had said that I was trusting God to see that we received S.S. He told me that you can’t ALWAYS trust God, sometimes you need a lawyer because S.S is not easy to get.

Not trust God? Really? My entire life has been centered on trusting God AND receiving the fruits of my labor and now a minister is telling me to NOT trust God? Needless to say, after four years of attending that church, we sought out a new one.

And as God promised, we received the S.S., found a new church but then we were called to Nebraska. We then set out to find a NEW church that was right for us. We went to two different churches and while they felt like a snug fit, we needed an extra-width because we had grown in our faith.

We found it at eFree; a community that wrapped its arms around us and blanketed us in a comfortable layer as we braced for blindness. We were no longer just flowers in soil, we were a brick forming a building!

About our third or fourth sermon at eFree, Pastor Mike had said as the offering plate was being passed around, “If you’re new here, this plate is not for you, it is for the members who wish to give to the community of Christ. If God has placed on your heart to give, by all means, but this plate is not us begging for money.”

A year would pass before the mention of money came up and he addressed it as, “People keep asking me why we don’t ask for money or talk about money and tithing? Tithing is about believers who understand the meaning. If you’re new here, we don’t want to turn you off by always asking for money. That’s not what we’re about. We’re about Christ and HIS message to you.” Wow!

You’re right if you’re saying that not all churches are like that. You’re right if you’re saying most churches are about money (mega churches for example) but that IS NOT what a church is supposed to BE about. The church is about you, becoming a brick in the solid foundation of a community. You are not meant to be soil, you’re not meant to be a pretty flower on show, you are about change and what a community who’s built on growth can do for that change.

Our church is about people! We serve the surrounding community, whether it be meals, whether it be shelter; we have mission trips to other states and countries and encourage change and growth. The church parking lot is not filled up only on Sunday’s, it is filled every day of the week with some form of activity; be it bible studies, women meeting for further study or men meeting for further study, or kids (college age) who attend two a week sermon’s for them, or Awana for smaller children. All in all, our church’s main function is growth, change, and most of all commitment to Christ.

A church is just a building until YOU fill it; it then BECOMES a Church. Thank you Pastor Mike for making it all clear to me. I’m NOT just a flower I’m a brick forming a building! I’m still learning and growing but without my community of brothers and sisters, I’d be just soil.

Acts 16: 5 And so were the churches established in the faith, and increased in number daily.

Poetry Sunday~ Intricate Flower

Intricate Flower
(c) Joni Zipp

***

The blossoms seem to surface
when out of the weary cold
they spring to bountiful life
ever the fragrance so bold.

Gathered round the stalk so true
the petal forms a flower
to stand among the crowd
to watch each passing hour.

The intricate life of the blade
the receptacle is a home.
for growth through each bud,
the soil soft silken loam.

My life is like the bloom
that slowly unfolds to be.
I rise and stretch each morn
release the soul of me.

All rights reserved: copyright © Joni Zipp

Poetry Sunday~ I am but a Flower

I am but a Flower

I am but a flower dancing in the sun
protected by Light since my life begun.
I am but a flower flowing in the warm breeze;
safely sheltered by the low hanging trees.

I am but a flower with a purpose in life
I grow and learn through trials and strife.
I am but a flower planted firmly in soil
too much water and my roots will spoil.

I am but a flower please understand
my duty in life is to beautify land.
I can not be plucked and placed where one needs
I have to grow to nurture my seeds.

I’m am but a flower reaching for the sky
Some days I wilt and never know why.
I need some nutrients to replenish my soul
to make this flower feel beautifully whole.

I am but a flower rained on from above
Given life by His gracious love.
Although I grow I have high ambition,
Remember this rose has a sweet smelling mission.