The Weight Of The Matter

Matt. 11: 28-29 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.”

Last year when I got married I sent my mother wedding pictures. The first thing she said to me when she received them was, “You put on weight.” What I heard was, “You’re fat you need to diet and lose weight!” But she immediately followed it up with, “but you look GOOD!” Whew, she scared me there for a minute.

You see, when I left home thirteen years ago my weight was borderline undernourishment at 105-110 lbs. I’m 5’4” and it might be what the medical charts at the time deemed a normal weight for my height, I felt too thin when my jeans of teen years of a size 3-5 fit. After arriving in Texas I began eating regularly and could feel my health in my weight gain change.

I wasn’t scared or paranoid because I knew I was still taking care of myself, walking and getting a decent amount of exercise with the amount of food I was eating. As years passed by I did put on weight and I grew to a whopping 130 lbs. And ballooning into a size 7! It sounds like a lot to me because this was 25 added pounds but everyone keeps saying over and over that with age comes weight gain. And well, I’m not a teen anymore.

I recently looked at a weight chart to see what is normal for a 5’4” woman and wouldn’t you know, I’m now a ‘normal’ weight for my height? I was never concerned with my weight before, never owning a scale and the only time I was weighed was when I had a doctor visit, in other words, hardly ever. 

When I talked to my brother last year, he told me that my dad, on his deathbed, took one look at his son and said, “You put on weight.” (My nephew had lost a large amount of weight but apparently gained some of it back), that is what my dad was referring to but I can bet my nephew heard the same thing I did when my mother told me I had put on weight. 

I never noticed it before but it seems it’s all about weight. My sister is too skinny, my cousin is too big, ‘I’ have gained weight, my nephew has put on weight, my (overweight) aunt lost too much weight when she got cancer and became unrecognizable as a thin woman and it goes on and on! Not just in my family, I see a lot of friends with health issues and weight problems and I think to  myself, what is the world coming to that we judge people by the size of their weight?

How and why have we as a human race become so obsessed with our weight and our looks? Why do we feel that we need to be a certain way so as not to be scrutinized? Why can’t we age gracefully and with dignity? So what if your hair gets thinner and grayer as you get older? So what if you get beautiful ‘I lived life’ lines on your face? Why does everyone need to point out that ‘yes’ with age things change?

Well, I used this in a post on facebook five years ago and it had nothing to do with the political year, mind you. "Change is change. Trees change every season do we complain? Our perennials change, do we gripe? Sometimes we just need to learn something from a change, whether good or bad, in one way or another, we too will be changed because of change."

When Jesus was carrying the cross, it was never about the weight of the cross. He knew that with that cross there was going to be change, change that people would HAVE to accept or deny. He was more than willing to carry the weight of a HUMAN RACE. That’s right people, He knew no color, He did not pick and choose what gender was right or wrong. He didn’t separate Himself from the heavy and the thin. The only weight He knew was the weight of the cross and that for thousands of years (ages) the cross would carry change!

Listen people, we’re on the threshold of change. Yes this is a political year and there is going to be change, for better or for worse, change is inevitable. You’re getting older, there is going to be changes in your body and health. That little baby you’re holding, he/she is going to change. He won’t be a baby forever and you my friend are not going to be young forever.

Instead of pointing out and poking fun at the changes taking place, embrace them! Yes, you're getting older, grayer, heavier, thinner, wrinklier, weightier but know this, there is no burden too big that the Cross didn’t bear at the finish line. Carrying the cross was bigger than any challenge that you and I face on a daily basis. Think about that.

I think I see why non-believers don’t believe in the Jesus story because who in their right mind would carry a cross and be hung on it for millions of people nevertheless a single friend. We live in a selfish society that won’t even let the slow driver in front of us enjoy their ride at a slow pace because we’re in a hurry to be first. We live in a society that doesn’t embrace change unless it’s our make-up and hair color, we live in a world where it is all about the facade.

When you meet someone for the first time, before looking at their size, or how many wrinkles they have or how gray their hair is, notice first that they are human and are living life, aging and growing just like you! If you see a person's inner beauty first, you won’t even see their outer shell for judgment.

2 Cor. 4:17 “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;”

Here's To Your Health

Prov. 16:24 “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.”

I’m going to start with a disclaimer. I am directing this post to an overweight society as a whole, no one person in particular. If you are over sensitive about your weight, then please spare yourself any pain and read no further. If you want to read to learn about bettering your health then read on. 

I would also like to say that I have many members of my family struggling with weight issues, aunts, uncles cousins, nephews, nieces, you name it, but in all honesty, my immediate family doesn’t have a problem (ie: mother, father, brothers). My sister at one time felt overweight after giving birth to six children and has since licked that issue. 

So why the post? Because as all my posts talk about a world that is dying I can visually look around and see why the people are so over medicated and overweight. I am not speaking to those who take medication that leads you to gain weight. I’m speaking to people who don’t care about their weight, because of the ‘we only live once’ mentality so die happily eating the fatty grease burger, smothered in bacon, cheese and mayo. 

What really started me on wanting to write this post was a meme that I’ve seen posted by too many of my friends and family! It really had me thinking about the world and the struggle it takes to take care of ones healthy eating. 

The meme read:
30 day Challenge
No chips
No potatoes
No ice cream
No fast food
No fried food
No chocolate
No white breads
No soda or juice
No cookies
No candy
Could you do it? For your health could you do it?

Not being overweight, I didn’t see where the challenge was but I imagine for an overweight society, this is a challenge that none would be willing to take. My parents were never overweight but they drank beer which gave them a few extra pounds and only when they quit drinking (for health reasons, they were forced to quit drinking and smoking) and any extra pounds they had melted off like butter on a Texas sidewalk. 

But I can see where giving up beer would be a challenge for people who love their booze so why wasn’t THAT on the challenge list? Why is the list so general? Why didn’t it say no sugar or no cholesterol, no beer? I’m thinking the list was targeted at today’s kids who need junk (unhealthy) food to get through a day of life!

To me personally, I think it is a health choice. People become overweight because of unhealthy choices (unless they have medical obesity). Again, I’m not referring to people who are overweight because of medications they take. Childhood obesity is on the rise mainly because kids stopped playing outside, riding bikes, or skating. Everything is done inside behind a screen and if you’re a parent who is overweight sitting behind a screen, you’re teaching your child that it is okay to be unhealthy and overweight. What are we teaching our kids?

Are we teaching our kids about the health concerns overweight people face? Like I said, my mother wasn’t overweight but she did develop type2 diabetes. She had an addiction to Whitman’s chocolate and a need to add at least fifteen shakes of salt from the salt shaker to all of her food. My mother never taught me about health I had to learn on my own but from my own experience in my family, I NEVER wanted to be overweight. So I watched what I ate, ate in moderation, exercised (not fanatically) and watched what I drank. 

People wonder why I don’t like chocolate, let it rot your teeth, let it place unnecessary pounds around your belt-line, let it cause you diabetes, no thank you, my preference is to not eat unhealthily. Hard lessons were enough for me to learn how not to love chocolate. I developed a dislike for it at a very young age, I’d say about 15 is when I started to become health conscious. 

I remember making Chicken noodle soup for the very first time and I gave my mother some. (She had given me the recipe but I withheld the salt.) She couldn’t get over how good it was and asked me what I did differently, I told her, no salt added. She was shocked. It didn’t curb her love of salt but a stroke in later years curbed that unhealthy intake real quick.

Have you noticed the rise in lactose intolerance? Gluten intolerance? From Scientific American: “Gluten is the primary protein component of wheat – it is what gives breads their delicious chewy texture. The only known cure for celiac disease is complete elimination of gluten from the diet – so no pizza, bagels, pasta, pancakes, waffles, doughnuts, cookies, soy sauce (it has wheat in it), licorice (ditto) … you get the idea. Even communion wafers are verboten.”

What I want you to GAIN from reading this post is that HEALTH matters! Nutrients matter! Vitamins matter! Taking care of yourself NOW matters before it is too late. Yes, there is a time when it is too late. My overweight aunt got cancer and lost weight until she died. My dad who had heart disease and wasn’t overweight just didn’t take care of himself and died of COPD. I want my son, my nieces and nephews and their children to live a long life so they NEED to take care of themselves NOW before it becomes too late. And no, never having the problem I more than likely don’t understand.

Another honest moment of why I’m writing this post. Last week I went to facebook and almost every single post the people were in pain, their meds weren’t working, were not arriving on time or the pain was too much to bear and here I was fighting my simple arthritic back pain feeling on top of the world. 

I draw concern on my friends fighting ailments. Why was I feeling so good? It just shouldn’t be so. Here I am taking the only thing I know that has helped me and that’s B12 Stress Complex (purchased at my local WalMart) and not very expensive, and B12 tablets. My fear rises when I think of going to the doctor and being diagnosed with MS or worse, cancer, so I try and take care of my weight and my health now before I NEED the medication to keep me alive.

If you say to me… ‘Well you haven’t had this, or that, or the other thing’, let me tell you, I’ve fought drug addiction, alcoholism, anxiety disorder, low self esteem, stress along with PTSD, I’ve lost two children and still to this day suffer with ailments but all without prescribed medication. I will find any herb, any vitamin or nutrient I’m lacking and I will holistically heal myself. It is what has worked for me for well over thirty years.

Now some people might ask why I don’t see the challenge above as a challenge? I’ll tell you why. Moderation that’s why!

30 day Challenge
No chips – I eat chips. Not every day and an entire bag!
No potatoes – I love potatoes. In moderation!
No ice cream – Ice Cream is a treat not a pig-out FOOD! And definitely not a stress reducer.
No fast food – Maybe once a month. I always choose the healthy menu meal. (fish or chicken) 
No fried food – I love fried food but I prefer baked or in my slow cooker. I always drain fat!
No chocolate – not a big fan of chocolate, too much as a kid pretty much deters any liking of binge eating of chocolate.
No white breads – I eat in moderation, so I’m ALLOWED to eat breads and pastas!
No soda or juice – I have one soda a day. (not fat free or diet)
No cookies – Chocolate chip are my fave! I might have one or two…or  three!
No candy – RARELY! Three times a year! (Easter, Halloween, Christmas)

Could you do it? For your health could you do it? I do do it...for my HEALTH

I just want to add that I rarely eat cakes and pies, sure they’re good once a year but every night? Once a week? No, no, no, not for me. My son is always telling me that I eat like a bird. Well hey, maybe them birds are onto something. I never glance out my window and see an overweight bird fly into a window now, do you?

I also drink about a gallon of water a day, maybe more (in winter too). I don’t drink booze, I drink Green Tea. We have an iced tea maker and I make a gallon of green tea (3-4 tea bags) and refrigerate it and heat it up a cup at a time before bed. Some people say green tea is too strong so that is why I use three or four per gallon, to get the HEALTH benefits of Green Tea without the bitterness of the taste.

I’m sorry if you’re battling weight issues, I’m more sorry that your health and living is not important enough to you to stay alive for your children and grandkids and great grandkids. Please don’t tell me that a salad is more expensive than a burger, it is all a matter of CHOICE and MODERATION, not price!   

Below are some links that might help with your battle with over medication. I have to put God in here somewhere don’t I? ‘I’ believe that God placed a resource for EVERY ailment we face on this earth in the form of herbs and vegetables. For me, prescribed medication will be the last resort. When you read that *I’m* on medication, then know I’m in my last days and the meds are only being used to prolong my life. 

Please don’t misunderstand me, I am NOT condemning anyone for taking medications for what ails you. I’m only saying that maybe, JUST MAYBE there is a cheaper alternative to prescription drugs. My mother pays well over $200 a month on prescription drugs. When my dad was sick in the hospital last year she didn’t take them for almost two months. After he passed, she told her doctor and the doctor told her, but they’re keeping you alive! She LIVED two months without taking them. Do your research.  

Links below:

Foods that will clean, repair and produce new cells in your body

12 Healing Herbs

25 Healing Herbs

75 Safe and Effective Herb al Remedies

10 Turmeric Benefits Superior to Medications

Turmeric – Pros and Cons – Be sure to click the tab for side effects

18 NATURAL Sleep Aids

If you're going to argue how expensive the herbs and vitamins are, think about that the next time you're at a fast food restaurant splurging, or food shopping for chips and soda. Think MODERATION!

Follow Me

Prov. 1:16 “For their feet run to evil, and make haste to shed blood.”

On my blog I have a follow button, over there to your left, you see it? I had 114 followers but google changed some things around and people have to have a google account to follow me, so fourteen of my followers went to the wayside. They were not google followers.

You know, Jesus asked people to follow him and while I don’t concern myself as much focusing on His followers, I’d like to reach out to the non-followers and ask them to join me in a walk. A walk that many followers have tread. Some have fallen; I myself have staggered quite a few times trudging up the mountain but a beautiful Light always pulled me back.

Mark 8:34 “And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.”

I know comparing my loss of followers to Jesus’ loss of followers is stretching it but bear with me on this one. I wonder if Jesus concerned Himself with the loss of followers or did he just go on with his ministry turning a blind eye to those sheep that strayed. Did he not concern himself with the straying sheep and was only concerned with his close followers? I myself don’t think so.

Did He want you to worry about YOU or did he want you to care and nurture your straying neighbor? To me that’s kind of like seeing a man beating a woman and saying, hey it’s none of my business, I could get myself killed if I intervene. I know, another stretch of the imagination, but you get me meaning. Do we ignore what is in front of our eyes or just worry about ourselves?

1 Cor. 1:10 “Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.”

Here’s the problem ‘I’ have, too many people saying too much differently. Preachers saying this, followers saying that and sometimes they’re not in agreement and that’s what causes division among men. Sometimes people map out their own words that sure sound good but is it sound doctrine? I DO concern myself with sound doctrine and I DO focus on sound doctrine. 

I personally read the King James Version of the bible and I don’t even know if this is the truest of translations, what with all the talk of the apocryphal books (not divine words from God) being put in, kept out, kept hidden. The truth is this, God hides nothing. 

Doesn’t that separate us? Does it bring us together in the same mind? Not if one person interprets the Word differently. It looks to me to be a major problem, everyone seeing what they want to see and doing what they want where the bible is concerned. Me I’m just trying to interpret what the bible means to ME and if following the lost herd of sheep is a direction, I am not going that way. If my words mean something to you, that is all well and good.

If you’re just discovering God, then you too will be pulled in many directions. I don’t think ministers and pastors mean for it to happen, it just happens but it also leaves you confused with what and who to follow.

Eph. 4:14-15  “That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:”

My focus is on the truth. God is my truth and you, no matter what, need to discern what the truth is to you. As I find healing in my written words because I am being led by the Word of God and all of the fragrances of truth that tickle my nose leave ME feeling complete and whole. You can follow me and my blog, but I’d much rather you seek the truth and follow Him. 

John 14:6 “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”

Quotation Saturday

Eph. 4:18 “Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart:”

NEGATIVE

“Save your skin from the corrosive acids from the mouths of toxic people. Someone who just helped you to speak evil about another person can later help another person to speak evil about you.” 
― Israelmore Ayivor

“Bloodshed begets bloodshed. Hatred begits hatred.” 
― Hiromu Arakawa

“Thoughts are like an open ocean, they can either move you forward within its waves, or sink you under deep into its abyss.”
― Anthony Liccione

“Beware of those who are bitter, for they will never allow you to enjoy your fruit.” 
― Suzy Kassem

POSITIVE

“When you are joyful, when you say yes to life and have fun and project positivity all around you, you become a sun in the center of every constellation, and people want to be near you.” 
― Shannon L. Alder

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.” 
― Ashley Smith

“Do not dilute the truth of your potential. We often convince ourselves that we cannot change, that we cannot overcome the circumstances of our lives. That is simply not true. You have been blessed with immeasurable power to make positive changes in your life. But you can't just wish it, you can't just hope it, you can't just want it... you have to LIVE it, BE it, DO it.” 
― Steve Maraboli,

“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity.” 
― Roy Bennett

IGNORANCE

“Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.” 
― Eoin Colfer

“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” 
― Martin Luther King Jr.

“The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.” 
― Daniel J. Boorstin

“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.” 
― Harlan Ellison

TOLERANCE

“Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the wrong. Sometime in life you will have been all of these.” 
― Lloyd Shearer

“It's an universal law-- intolerance is the first sign of an inadequate education. An ill-educated person behaves with arrogant impatience, whereas truly profound education breeds humility.” 
― Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

“Laws alone can not secure freedom of expression; in order that every man present his views without penalty there must be spirit of tolerance in the entire population.” 
― Albert Einstein

“Don't be in a hurry to condemn because he doesn't do what you do or think as you think or as fast. There was a time when you didn't know what you know today.” 
― Malcolm X

Light In The Dark

Outside my back door!

Pss. 1:1-2  "Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.

Light in the Dark

Well, I’m taking a much needed break from the internet activities that had absorbed my world. Hey, I’ve even gotten some cleaning done in the process. It’s pretty amazing what happens when you prioritize your time and eliminate the Black Hole of negativity that tries to consume you on every click. 

I’m still here writing! There is no Black Hole that can take that away from me because basically, it is my medicine to get all the dark out and let the light into my world. I’m trying to be a light in the dark and while some might see me as a self-righteous snob others see me as the inspirational message that they might need to hear on any given day. 

I need to say this in my own defense of my recent ramblings. If there is a person out there reading my words and thinks I’m speaking about them directly and their lives then you need to do a deep soul searching to find the reason you feel that I’m speaking about you in particular.

When there are hundreds or thousands, possibly millions of people on the same conscious stream, meaning everyone thinking alike, you are bound to think I am targeting you in general. That’s what a writer does without pinpointing one person.  We write about the collective whole and finding the vein that pulsates from your weakness. And technically, that is what it is, a weakness you have embraced and not healed from within yourself. 

We all hold a light force deep within us but many allow the black hole of a negative society to own them. The light cannot and will not shine no matter how much you fake the you that you display to the world. There is a healing place and the only one that I’ve found for myself is not from friends or family, because sometimes they are transmitters of negativity and if anyone knows my family, you would say, run for your life child. 

No, my healing place is meditation on the Word. I find positive energy in the Light and love of the Psalms and Proverbs. Yes the entire bible is to be read (Old and New Testament) but to actually find the light force, you need to meditate on the positive elements, not the chronological aspects that might leave you with questions, bewilderment, a need for proof and more answers. 

There’s a healing place that is not meant to be hidden in the bible, but so many get lost with the metaphors or timeline of events and the shroud of darkness that is in the Bible; elements of incest, rape, and murder. They get lost trying to figure it all out when the Bible was meant to be a tool for you to build or rebuild the life you have before you.

Do you think it was coincidence that the chosen ones were sinners among men? Do you think that Joseph, the carpenter, wasn’t some form of symbolism of the life we are to build in Christ? The bible is heavy laden with metaphors and symbolism and God asks us not to get tied up with dissecting them but to hear the word, live the word and build your life around the word. Then and only then will you emit a Light that no dark hole can ever swallow and penetrate. 

As I watch a dark hole swallow up the people in society, I want to reach right in and grab them before they get pulled so far into the hole that they can never get out. You can and WILL lose the battle because the oxygen sustaining life will be sucked right out of you and there is no turning back.

I apologize to anyone whom my words hurt, if any. I write to make you (people in general) aware of the fine line between right and wrong. Yes, I’m a sinner and get tugged on more occasions than I care to mention but I fight, fists first to win a battle of good and evil, for me, good always wins! It’s the optimist in me. I will always see the Light in the dark and BE the light in the dark times. 

Praise be to God!

Joel 1: 15-20 “Alas for the day! for the day of the LORD is at hand, and as a destruction from the Almighty shall it come. 

Is not the meat cut off before our eyes, yea, joy and gladness from the house of our God? The seed is rotten under their clods, the garners are laid desolate, the barns are broken down; for the corn is withered. How do the beasts groan! the herds of cattle are perplexed, because they have no pasture; yea, the flocks of sheep are made desolate.

O LORD, to thee will I cry: for the fire hath devoured the pastures of the wilderness, and the flame hath burned all the trees of the field.

The beasts of the field cry also unto thee: for the rivers of waters are dried up, and the fire hath devoured the pastures of the wilderness.

Shining Star

Rom. 2:5-6  “But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. God “will repay each person according to what they have done.”

Shining Star

I go out back of my house on any given night to look at the expansive sky. I see a massive amount of stars shining like diamonds glistening in the sand. I live out in the middle of nowhere so my world out here is blanketed in a crisp clear view of the cosmos.

Dark matter tries to swallow the big exploding balls of gas but it doesn’t always win in the destruction of the beautiful force of light. This is how I see life nowadays. I see streams of light trying to hide from the dark matter but there is a Black Hole that people seem to live in shedding off all their matter in the cosmos and drowning out the shining stars.

“A Black Hole is defined as a region of spacetime from which extremely strong gravity prevents anything, including light, from escaping. We know that matter falling into black holes is no different from the matter which can be found lurking around the rest of the Universe.”

This is what earth has become; the inhabitants are like a Black Hole failing to let any light escape because I believe the earthlings are here to deplete the living of any oxygen. And sadly, they are okay with this mass destruction. Thank you political aficionados of the world. You have destroyed any chance of survival and if you foolishly think ‘not in my lifetime, kiddo’, you are sadly mistaken.

You know, the problem arises when I try to post a news source, it doesn’t fit your PC worldview. Is it left, is it right? Either way, it is going to be deemed wrong. If I say UP you say down, if I say Light, you say Dark and the world spins and spins by this widely accepted rhetoric and I truly want off this merry-go-round.

FACT: Really read this from NASA!!!

“A black hole is a place in space where gravity pulls so much that even light can not get out. The gravity is so strong because matter has been squeezed into a tiny space. This can happen when a star is dying.

Because no light can get out, people can't see black holes. They are invisible. Space telescopes with special tools can help find black holes. The special tools can see how stars that are very close to black holes act differently than other stars.”

From ME: Humanity is a Black Hole, a place where negativity pulls on the human psyche so much that it doesn’t allow a morsel of light to shine from within. Because the Light is buried deep in the depths of you, it can’t get out. People would need all six of their senses to really see this Black Soul but know, when people are fed your negative vibrations they begin to act differently (you fill them with hate) than the ones who are REALLY Shining Stars in the world, emitting light and making it through far away from the Black holes of space. 

I can’t be a part of your vortex of hate.  You [society as a whole] say just live life to the fullest! Laugh, drink and be merry. Life is too short to be anything else. This sounds all well and good but how on earth can you live life and be merry when you know the world is going to deplete you of oxygen and you’re going to stop breathing and become a rotted corpse sunk into the earth?  

Oh wait a minute, you have a getaway ticket to the Castles in the sky with a doorway to Heaven open to YOU because you are just so special! You did absolutely nothing to obtain the ticket, you just know your thoughts are going to carry you away into a space after your last breath is taken away from you on this planet.

I read a facebook page called, Too Young to Die, someone from back in Baltimore started the page and people go there announcing who in the ‘neighborhood’ died. They utter words like, “Now they’re angels in heaven, sitting around with [such and such] drinking all the brew they can.” Talk about an oxymoron! Heaven + beer, the only time I heard the two together was in a song ‘In heaven there is no beer, that’s why we drink it here.’ Sad isn’t it?

What a warped image people have of Heaven. Druggies actually think they’re going to heaven to continue in their drug addiction (or beer, or wine) but no, my image of heaven is not one of drugs and people sitting around a big party. That’s like saying in heaven Mother Teresa is sitting there beside Hitler. Think about it, or not, just live life to the fullest and worry about heaven when you get there, or seconds before your last breath.

I know, people are wondering why I’m thinking about heaven. Well, to be honest, I’ve always thought of heaven, maybe that is why my faith grew and grew because heaven was always on my mind, getting there or not getting there. Would I be accepted or shunned? Would I be laughed at or welcomed? Would I ascend or descend?

Maybe the longer I steer clear of the toxic people who show their TRUE colors that no one wants to see, maybe then I’ll be able to put the shine back in my posts and allow the shining star that I know I am on the inside to break through the black hole of society.

While they can play with their faith, play the good guy then the bad guy, then bask in hate and anger and vengeance maybe the world will see what they are doing. I feel I’m alone in this stardust. We’ll see after I give myself more time to heal from this fiasco of a world. I WILL come out SHINING and still love myself when I look in the mirror. 

Isaiah 61:10 “I will greatly rejoice in the LORD, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels.”

A Break... I'm Not Clay

Pss. 38:10 “My heart panteth, my strength faileth me: as for the light of mine eyes, it also is gone from me.”

A Break… I’m Not Clay

It is with great distress that I need to announce a break. Whether physically or mentally I know myself too well to stick around to watch the hellfires consume the people I love. I want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart who has inspired me to continue writing. This year has been an active place of healing for me, and I thank you with love.

You’ve told me over and over again how I lift your spirits, how you love my honest writing, how it is I that inspires YOU when it is some of you that inspires ME! I look for that inspiration every day in my life but don’t always find it where I look. Am I looking in the wrong places? Apparently yes. 

Facebook is becoming a desert, a desolate place where vultures linger and seek to suck every bit of life out of one living cactus. I’m a very sensitive person to the point the tiniest pinprick causes me to burst in a way I’m not accustomed to. Sorry, I don’t play your little games of ‘popularity’. Games, that’s all it is behind your mask. Well, I’m not clay, you’re not going to shape me into a hater, racist pig. I see people thinking they’re helping by spreading hate but they are a part of the demolition crew that is destroying this world.

Whether it is in YouTube comments or Yahoo comments or on Facebook, the vultures feed off of the sensitivity and I cringe when I hear/read the battle cry of joy when they’ve doused the light of the one shining brightness in a darkened world. They enjoy seeing people in pain. It is some kind of sickness that they embrace and I totally need to step away, to breathe.

A reality hit me last week when I had the pleasure of listening to this tiny little twelve-year-old, Grace VanderWaal, sing her heart out. 

One of her songs went like this:
I don’t know my name
I don’t play by the rules of the game
So you say I’m just trying
Just trying… to find my way.

Another of her songs Clay was one of my favorites. It touched me in a place that not many long time experienced writers touch me and here was this little girl, thinking she couldn’t sing, taking the world by storm and marking her spot in history. The elite vultures are going to devour her and place the obstacles of fame and popularity on her doorstep and while she has loving parents to protect her, they can only do so much.

“Your silly words
I won't live inside your world 
Cause your punches and your names
All your jokes and stupid games
They don't hurt
No they don't hurt
Watch them just go right through me
Because they mean nothing to me

I'm not clay” 
~ 12-year-old singer/songwriter Grace VanderWaal lyrics 

Like me wanting to protect people from their harsh reality of prejudice, racism, bigotry and hypocritville, people fall victim day in and day out and there is no protector. Sure they claim they have God as a protector, but too many times I see them as food for the vultures more than I see the Living God in them. They are being devoured and I have a weak stomach for mangled flesh.

Yesterday my stomach churned as if I was on the Zipper at the fair. I watched a good movie but it wasn’t enough to help relieve the motion sickness I felt in my stomach for mankind. Satan is trying to attack me from every angle whether it is my son (who will be out of his new job in two months due to the store closing down) or my love of nature; my ceramic birdbath fell yesterday cracking like a clay vase falling from the thirteenth floor with irreparable damage. Then there is the loss of respect for friends I once admired and looked up to as they slither in the snake pit, now I only see a darkness shrouding their beings. It’s all too much for me to bear and TRY to be a positive light in these dark and solemn times. I need to re-energize.

Maybe a break will help. Maybe I’ll unplug the computer completely and just vanish in an air of shrouded mystery. Maybe a day or two will be enough or maybe I need more time, only time will tell, eh? I need to breathe and only my commitments will stay while I take a step back from virtual reality. It’s not and never was a nice fit for me. TO ME, the virtual world is a huge department store on Black Friday filled to capacity with nude mannequins. I see a human off in the distance but I’ll never reach them because the mannequins will topple on top of me and smother me to death.

When I feel the anger and negativity start to boil over like water left on the stove, and I begin to lash out with hatred in my veins I know it’s time for me to get away from that which sickens me. I won’t be molded and formed into the hate-filled people that seem to run the virtual society. People are vicious and they hold no shame. Me, I’m ashamed of this place. I need to breathe because I’m NOT CLAY!

Author's note: *
*sorry Mike, I tried to see the good in a damned world. 
* I'll continue writing, bookmark my blog 

Deuteronomy 31:6 KJV 

Be strong and of a good courage, 

fear not, nor be afraid of them: 

for the LORD thy God, 

he it is that doth go with thee; 

he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.

Quotation Saturday ~ Family

Quotation Saturday

FAMILY

“All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.” 
― Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

“When God Created Mothers"

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said. "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one." 

And God said, "Have you read the specs on this order?" She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts...all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands." 

The angel shook her head slowly and said. "Six pairs of hands.... no way." 

It's not the hands that are causing me problems," God remarked, "it's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have." 

That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. God nodded. 

One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, 'What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word." 

God," said the angel touching his sleeve gently, "Get some rest tomorrow...." 

I can't," said God, "I'm so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick...can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger...and can get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower." 

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed. 

But tough!" said God excitedly. "You can imagine what this mother can do or endure." 

Can it think?" 

Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator. 

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. 

There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model." 

It's not a leak," said the Lord, "It's a tear." 

What's it for?" 

It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride." 

You are a genius, " said the angel. 

Somberly, God said, "I didn't put it there.” 

― Erma Bombeck, When God Created Mothers

“You must remember, family is often born of blood, but it doesn't depend on blood. Nor is it exclusive of friendship. Family members can be your best friends, you know. And best friends, whether or not they are related to you, can be your family.” 
― Trenton Lee Stewart

“Unfortunately, some family members are so psychotic that no matter how hard you try to forge a healthy relationship, nothing will help. Now that you're an adult, take refuge in the fact that some things are beyond your control. You owe it to yourself to steer clear of people who are harmful to your health.” 
― Andrea Lavinthal

“This, after all, was the month in which families began tightening and closing and sealing; from Thanksgiving to the New Year, everybody's world contracted, day by day, into the microcosmic single festive household, each with its own rituals and obsessions, rules and dreams. You didn't feel you could call people. They didn't feel they could phone you. How does one cry for help from these seasonal prisons?” 
― Zadie Smith,

DYSFUNCTIONAL

“It's my opinion, with some people, just knowing they are alone, living inside of their own miserable, self hating, dysfunctional mind, with their own immature, insecure, self pitying self is its own revenge. Their existence is their karma.” 
― Colleen Truscott Fry

“This is what we desire in intimate relationships but this deep connection is often so frightful that most do not take advantage of the opportunities presented for honesty.” 
― David W. Earle

“The dysfunction we are facing cuts deep into our social and moral values. Solutions are plentiful, but responsible co-creation is not (yet). We can no longer solve the many challenges by simply coming up with quick fixes. What we require is a transition in the way we co-create and experience reality. To step on the path of recovery and growth, we must establish clear and definitive objectives: 

- Institute effective and righteous democratic processes;
- Hold politicians, governments, and corporate entities, in particular, the financial sector and the media responsible to society;
- Reduce global inequality and improve collaboration;
- Improve relations and trust between various nations and groups;
- Simplify legislation and invest in a holistic education for all;
- Raise the value of righteous behavior and lessen the importance of material wealth.

To achieve this we don’t need a revolution, we need responsible evolution! There is only one path that leads to long-term prosperity: the path of truth. It doesn’t demand responsibility; it embodies it.” 
― Joseph Rain

The Truth Hurts

Gen.1:1 “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.”

The Truth Hurts

Well, yesterday was a good day even with summer rearing its ugly head to let me know it hasn’t gone too far away. Sometimes summer does that, it holds onto the season until the very last day and sometimes longer not wanting to let go and release the cooler temperatures of autumn!

After a quite refreshing couple of days in the fifties, eighty degrees raised the bar yesterday. Sure I stayed inside and did my work but I could feel the warmth tapping on the closed windows wanting to heat the house. Then last night we had a thunderstorm that washed away the heat in a light show beyond comparison. Flashing across the sky, lightning lit up the south, west and northern portions of the sky, the strobe light blinked in red and bluish hues. 

You could say I got a wake-up call yesterday in speaking the truth, right or wrong? I called my mother like I normally do at the same time every evening. I was in a relaxed mode as we had settled in to watch our movie but I pause the movie every evening to call my mother back home.

I could sense harshness in her tone but I shrugged it off as the conversation continued. She had said that she had a bad day, I knew what that meant but I prodded for more info and maybe I should have just ended the call by saying maybe a better day tomorrow but  it’s my mother, I needed to know if she was okay. 

A little back-story might help you with where I’m going with this. My mother lost her best friend, her husband of sixty years and she misses him intensely! A bad day means she just sits there thinking about him, his illness, his hospital stay, and most heart-wrenchingly, his death. As is to be expected, she has her good days and her bad days.

It hurts me to no end that I can’t be there for her but my calls have got to be enough at this juncture in my life and MY healing. She went on how my sister took her out to lunch and a little shopping. I know it’s good for her to get out and that is her healing mechanism, to shop. It always has been.

She told me about a book she read (this is where the conversation went downhill) about a young boy who died and went to heaven and came back and told this story of meeting Jesus in heaven and his deceased sister (that he had no knowledge of before the coma). The story Heaven Is for Real is the book she was referring to. 

She went on to tell me that because of THAT book she believes Heaven is for real and that ‘I’ should read the book to see for myself. I told her I READ a book that tells me heaven is for real called The Holy Bible. She retorted, “Oh, I’m going to read that one too.”

But then her tone became one of anger and she started berating me, “Why do you always have a conflicting response? Everything I say, you always try to correct me!”

Calmly I spoke and said, “I think I need to call you tomorrow.” I was not going to allow her bad day to leak through the phone and cause ME to have a bad day (too late) also. It already had in ways you don’t want to know. 

Was I wrong in telling her the truth? Should I let her believe Jesus is up there with a rainbow crown prancing with unicorns? Was I wrong in directing her to the bible? Should I let my mother holler at me like a two-year-old because she is grieving? I did and ended the call and afterward, I cried.

I told my son what had happened because he had overheard me, after talking to my mother, very loudly vocalizing my hurt from the phone call and then suffering a chest-tightening anxiety attack. 

His response? “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” 

Yeah, I spat that at him more times than once, now it was his turn to fling those sentiments at me. Boy, I'm batting a thousand in the feel good vibes!

I explained to him that I respect our difference in beliefs; I don’t force my belief on him, I already lost that battle and he is his own person believing what he wants. But no one wants to respect MY beliefs. So now here I am…

Tears roll down my cheek as I wonder if all of this is in vain. Am I writing the truth, yes I know it is MY truth, to believers or non-believers? Do the non-believers think I’m an overbearing, pompous, bible thumping donkey? Do believers believe the same truth? Prayer…lots of prayer time for ME coming up in the following weeks, I’ll let you know how it turns out.

I know grief has no time limit. I understand the mourning process. I have lost all four grandparents (not the same as a husband), I’ve lost two children (not the same as a husband), I’ve lost a father, along with aunts and uncles to illness or suicide (not the same as a husband); so maybe I don’t understand my mothers’ grief. Maybe it IS normal for her to buy my father's cologne so she can inhale the fragrance he once wore. 

I don’t understand the loss of a husband and truly hope I don’t have to ever cross that bridge but one thing I AM certain of is Heaven, FOR ME! I’m not certain if my father is there, I don’t know if my mother will wind up there, I don’t even know if I’M going to end up there but… I DO KNOW HEAVEN IS THERE! I will strive to reach heaven, long for it, and always feel it within my grasp. 

Maybe I should just shut my mouth and stop my fingers now.

Matt. 18:3 “And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven."

Don't Give Up!

Pss.4:1 “Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness: thou hast enlarged me when I was in distress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer.”

So many mornings I rise from bed forgetting I’m disabled and I stumble out of the bedroom door almost tripping over my sleeping dog. When my eyes fully open and the pain kisses me good morning, I remember I’m disabled and go over what it means to me on that given day.

I could return to the bedroom, plop down on the bed and pull the covers over my head but I won’t allow myself to get to that place where I don’t want to face the day. I’m not giving up that easy. I don’t know if it is right or wrong but I start to think of the people who have it so much worse than me.

There are people who wake up and need assistance getting up. There are people who need an aid with them twenty-four hours a day. What I’m saying is that there are people much worse off than me and here I am dealing, okay?

I’m here to tell you, DON’T GIVE UP! There is always, someone somewhere out there dealing with a life that is much worse than the one you’re dealing with. Often it doesn’t feel like there could be anyone or anything out there in the world with a situation or health problem worse than yours but really look around you, intently digging for someone who is a little worse off, or extremely worse off. 

It can be as extreme as the homeless man living under the bridge in a cardboard box with sores crawling up his body that needs medical attention but is not getting the help he needs. It could be the single lady down the street with a full-time job, and five kids who doesn’t have enough food to feed the family and no husband/father around to assist. It could also be someone as simple as the man raging passed you on the road, eager to leave you in his dust, that is worse off than you. 

When we’re off climbing our own mountain, struggling with each step, we rarely look around us to take note of who might have it worse off than us. Imagine climbing a mountain in a wheelchair. You might see it as impossible to do any climbing but to the person in a wheelchair, they’re climbing mountains on a daily basis that you or I might have thought impossible. 

It’s all in perception. We live in a world where everyone is always thinking about themselves and how bad it is for them. From a selfish perspective, they are worse off than ANYONE they look at when in reality, there is always someone struggling just a little bit harder than you.

About a month ago, my mother-in-law unintentionally hurt my feelings. I had said how uneasy I felt with my husband and son off at work and I’m alone to do ALL of the chores (in my disabled capacity) especially mowing the lawn. “Well, I mow my own lawn.” Yes she knows of my inability to walk well and yes she knows my age but she was comparing me to her, an almost 70-year-old. 

It hurt only in the fact that I sat envious for a moment. Like when hubby and I went to WalMart and I sat in the car under a shade tree. I watched as older women unloaded their groceries from the cart into their vehicle. I sat with tears welling in my eyes; I sat with a tissue in hand pacifying the tears and pitying myself. 

After getting over myself I fought! I fought tooth and nail not to see myself as a weak individual! Sure the immense ninety-degree heat would hinder my outside chores but I would not allow anything to hinder my inside chores! I can write, vacuum, wash clothes, cook, clean; I can do a lot of stuff others only wish they could do and instead of pity, they have my empathy. I totally relate to all you can and cannot do on a new level.

Instead of resentment of the older folk doing more than me, I now felt contentedness in knowing that God is taking care of them and has enabled them to do and live as long as they have. They’re out there overcoming the mountain and it filled me with delight. Just so you know, God is taking care of me too, just in a different way and I’m okay with that. 

I remember years ago when I had to take care of my grandmother after she had a stroke. She was wheelchair bound and full of negativity and actually resented me for my peppiness and positive view on life. Here I was full of life and she felt her over active lifestyle was taken away at too young an age, she was eighty when she had her stroke, and she gave up trying almost immediately after being released from the Physical Therapy Hospital she had been placed.

Years later while on her deathbed when I called to speak to her, (I was in Texas, a million miles away it seemed) she asked for my forgiveness in the way she had treated me when I cared for her. She was remorseful and she let me know that she loved me but she was now afraid to die. Her not having a religious bone in her body, I assured her that God would take care of her and I felt with every fiber of my being, that He would/did! 
“How do you know?” she asked. 
“He doesn’t give up on anyone!” I assured her.

I felt confident in saying that God doesn’t give up because it is my faith to believe. If you don’t give up, God surely won’t give up on you in your desperate time of need. In self-pity, in selfish envy, in pride and shame, He doesn’t give up, nor should YOU!

Matt. 18:33 “Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellow servant, even as I had pity on thee?”

CRASH!

Those were the days

circa 2004

Isa. 63:9 “In all their affliction he was afflicted, and the angel of his presence saved them: in his love and in his pity he redeemed them; and he bare them, and carried them all the days of old.”

Living with a disability is like a car crash. At the scene, you’re taken to the hospital and released after being checked over but sometimes you have to live with a new unexpected disability. People today take for granted waking each day and going on with their normal routine. They brew their coffee, take a shower and sit at their desk all without incident.

As I was writing this, this morning before clicking save on my document, it crashed! Microsoft is looking into the issue is what became displayed on my screen instead of the words I had just written. Gone, the document was lost never to be retrieved. That’s what happened to me when I became one of the chronic illness survivors, I lost something never to be returned.

A person with a disability does not have the same advantage as everyone else when they wake in the morning. Most wake with the routine of taking meds; coffee isn’t their first priority upon awakening. Getting out of bed without wincing in pain is a triumphant beginning of any day.

Here’s a loose synopsis of what it’s like having a disability: Imagine waking up and your computer is gone, fried, crashed. The computer was your life, your news, your accustomed way of living and your window to the outside world. You can live without the piece of equipment but now you’ll have to find ways around living without it in your life; you’d make a trip to the library until you realize it’s raining monsoon like rain so you say oh maybe tomorrow. 

Plans being thwarted become your new norm. Sure you can walk in the rain, some like walking in the rain, but the wind cutting raindrops into your skin you did not bargain for. You make plans to get around without your computer but when someone asks for an email address (asks for more info on your disability) and you say, “I don’t have a computer,” they look at you like you’re a Neanderthal.

“Do you have a smart phone?”  THEY have a smartphone. That’s like asking if your disability is the same as theirs?

“Yes, I have a phone.” Yes, I have a disability.

“Well go online from there.” 

“Um, I don’t have THAT kind of phone.” My disability is not the same as yours.

Again, the Neanderthal look that I’m getting used to seeing. I feel like they’re saying (but they’re not) “My disability is worse (better, medicated, easier) than yours.” 

I feel like saying, ‘do you take medication for your pain’ and when they respond with a loud YES, I couldn’t make it through a day without them, then I’d reply, well I don’t take meds, I live with my pain without medication. Then I’d stick out my tongue for good measure. Just kidding, I use humor to squelch most of my pain. 

Go to a doctor, get some medication, get a diagnosis. Really? So in other words, buy a new computer? Sometimes not everyone has the capability of buying a new web source. I know I have no way of buying a new body!

You’ll make plans to go to the library because you know they have a computer you can use but when you arrive the librarian announces, sorry but the internet is down for the day. That’s like affording a doctor visit only to be told the medication is an astronomical monthly, rest of your life, fee!

While the non-computer is a loose analogy and living without the computer would steer you into a new routine, that is what people with sudden chronic illnesses are forced into, a new routine that they had no plans for. Sure we’d all make different plans if we KNEW we were going to be disabled but plans are often made just to be broken. 

Maybe God is tired of the ordinary. Maybe He wants to shake up the world and see how people react, to see what kind of new familiarity we’d fall into, to see what kind of plans we’d make. Something was taken away from me and my fellow disabled friends, a normal take-for-granted-routine. 

I, and I imagine others, are no longer setting a methodical plan. We just wake and are happy to be alive. Meds or no meds, we get by another day trudging through the slime that impedes our pathway. We’re stronger and more resilient with what we generally go through on a daily basis.

So when I wake up with the intention of going outside to mow the lawn, I have to first survive getting out of bed. When I succeed I give the old fist pump and say YES! under my breath. Now, onto making a pot of coffee! Success, YES! Now onto making it into the shower without any incidences. Yes! Now the weather; is it cool enough for my back to be able to withstand an hour of mowing an enormous lawn? Yes! Will I suffer because of the challenge I overcame to get from point A to point B? I most certainly will but then I remember who is going to comfort me when the day is done. 

Pss. 72:3 “The mountains shall bring peace to the people, and the little hills, by righteousness.”

People take for granted the waking, the making of the coffee, the hopping in the shower, simply putting their clothes on one leg or arm at a time, when for people with disabilities, it’s a chore, a long drawn out painful obstacle.

When God places a challenge in front of you ie: heart attack, breast cancer, any illness or disability, the reason I feel it is there is for you to share with others HOW you overcame the unseen hindrance. The illness isn’t for you to hide and be ashamed of, that’s not doing any service for God it’s being selfish and thinking of only you. No, God wants you to rejoice in His saving grace. Each day is a hurdle that you’ve overcome, shout to the world a resounding YES! I made it another day! 

Prov.24:10 “If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small.”

Some people are empty of expression and to me, that is sadder than ANYTHING God tosses at me. I can live with pain, I can live with a wobble and a cane or a wheelchair, but I cannot live without my ability to express myself to the world how I’m blessed daily with overcoming my every day challenges. I can even live without a computer, my expression might reach you a little slower but only because I would be forced to take another route in seeing you receive my message. I can't live without my body.

If you’re in a bored ho-hum daily routine, actively seek to make a change, a simple change or a major one; either way if you do nothing, God will see to it you taste, touch, feel, hear, SEE His presence; even if you don’t acknowledge that it was Him. Eventually, you will crash. What will YOU do with a mountain in YOUR way?

Jer. 16:21 “Therefore, behold, I will this once cause them to know, I will cause them to know mine hand and my might; and they shall know that my name is The LORD.”

Poetry Sunday ~ September Eleven

Isa. 2:11 The lofty looks of man shall be humbled, and the haughtiness of men shall be bowed down, and the LORD alone shall be exalted in that day.

***

September 11

I cradled my morning coffee,

my eyes they struggled to see

a horrific terrible tragedy,

unfolding in front of me.

Today’s background clutter,

seemed to take a second stance,

scrambling cameras everywhere,

gave rise to a deeper glance.

A plane had hit a building,

I couldn't believe my eyes.

the horror of a gaping wound,

of such an enormous size.

By now I'm jolted wide awake,

something was just not right.

I witnessed the impact yet again,

on the twin without a fight.

Billowing smoke and fragments,

scattered all around.

People frozen in a spot,

as objects fall to the ground.

Reports of other targets,

were coming into view.

My tear-filled eyes were wondering.

what this world was coming to.

In merely a matter of moments,

my blurry eyes did see;

heroes rushing into the scene,

as workers fought to flee.

The crumbling of a building,

number two not far behind.

The crashing of plane three and four,

had mentally boggled my mind.

I couldn't feel my fingers;

a wounded numbness arose.

I sat in total disbelief

as my body stood there froze.

Longing to be shaken,

from this nightmare that is real

my body shrouded in emptiness,

as I buckled to a kneel.

I prayed for love torn strangers,

whose faces dripped with fear.

I longed for welcome solace,

through the shedding of a tear.

The aroma of terror lingers,

as I'm trembling to the core.

I long for the taste of freedom,

which I sense will be no more.

A sleeping nation awakened,

by the trumpets sounding in heaven.

Altering our lives forever,

on the day of September eleven.

Copyright © Joni Zipp

written: Sept. 11, 2001

Isa. 12: 4 And in that day shall ye say, Praise the LORD, call upon his name, declare his doings among the people, make mention that his name is exalted.

God Bless America!

Quotation Saturday ~ Quotes for today

Ephesians 3:16-17 “That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,

IDEOLOGY

“As soon as you look at the world through an ideology you are finished. No reality fits an ideology. Life is beyond that. … That is why people are always searching for a meaning to life… Meaning is only found when you go beyond meaning. Life only makes sense when you perceive it as mystery and it makes no sense to the conceptualizing mind.” 
― Anthony de Mello

“Ideology knows the answer before the question has been asked.

Principles are something different: a set of values that have to be adapted to circumstances but not compromised away.” 
― George Packer

“Whenever people are certain they understand our peculiar situation here on this planet, it is because they have accepted a religious Faith or a secular Ideology (Ideologies are the modern form of Faiths) and just stopped thinking.” 
― Robert Anton Wilson

“Christians should never have a political party. It is a huge mistake to become married to an ideology, because the greatest enemy of the gospel is ideology. Ideology is a man-made format of how the world ought to work, and Christians instead believed in the revealing truth Scripture.” 
― Charles W. Colson

“In public affairs men are often better pleased that the truth, though known to everybody, should be wrapped up under a decent cover than if it were exposed in open daylight to the eyes of all the world.” 
― David Hume

DOGMA

“Too often we hold fast to the clichés of our forebears. We subject all facts to a prefabricated set of interpretations. We enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.
[Commencement Address at Yale University, June 11, 1962]” 
― John F. Kennedy

“When we blindly adopt a religion, a political system, a literary dogma, we become automatons.” 
― Anaïs Nin

“While believing strongly, without evidence, is considered a mark of madness or stupidity in any other area of our lives, faith in God still holds immense prestige in our society. Religion is the one area of our discourse where it is considered noble to pretend to be certain about things no human being could possibly be certain about. It is telling that this aura of nobility extends only to those faiths that still have many subscribers. Anyone caught worshipping Poseidon, even at sea, will be thought insane.” 
― Sam Harris

“Until every soul is freely permitted to investigate every book, and creed, and dogma for itself, the world cannot be free. Mankind will be enslaved until there is mental grandeur enough to allow each man to have his thought and say. This earth will be a paradise when men can, upon all these questions differ, and yet grasp each other's hands as friends. It is amazing to me that a difference of opinion upon subjects that we know nothing with certainty about, should make us hate, persecute, and despise each other. Why a difference of opinion upon predestination, or the trinity, should make people imprison and burn each other seems beyond the comprehension of man; and yet in all countries where Christians have existed, they have destroyed each other to the exact extent of their power. Why should a believer in God hate an atheist? Surely the atheist has not injured God, and surely he is human, capable of joy and pain, and entitled to all the rights of man. Would it not be far better to treat this atheist, at least, as well as he treats us?

Christians tell me that they love their enemies, and yet all I ask is—not that they love their enemies, not that they love their friends even, but that they treat those who differ from them, with simple fairness.

We do not wish to be forgiven, but we wish Christians to so act that we will not have to forgive them. If all will admit that all have an equal right to think, then the question is forever solved; but as long as organized and powerful churches, pretending to hold the keys of heaven and hell, denounce every person as an outcast and criminal who thinks for himself and denies their authority, the world will be filled with hatred and suffering. To hate man and worship God seems to be the sum of all the creeds.” 
― Robert G. Ingersoll

RELIGION

“Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one's weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.” 
― Mahatma Gandhi

“My concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right.” 
― Abraham Lincoln

“Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee
And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.” 
― Robert Frost

“All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

When The Cock Crows

Matt. 26: 34 “Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, That this night, before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.”

When the Cock Crows

Every morning before the sun peeks it’s lovely head over the horizon I hear something off in the distance, a rooster bidding me good morning. I always think of those words Jesus said to Peter, that he would deny him three times before the cock crows.

I often think of the bustling world out there. People rising from bed, going off to work, eating, coming home, sleeping to do the same tedious routine over and over again. Many people get into the mundane routine daily denying Christ. They don’t think they’ve been denying Him because hey, they read the bible, pray for people, go to church. What else could there be?

I feel like I’ve been picking on the Christian faith lately and I’ve prayed about why God is calling me to write what I write. I get this answer, “Because they are denying Me.” Well thanks God, could you give me a little more to go with? Then I wake up, hear the cock crow and on my heart is writing as I breathe in the morning air.

What does God mean when He says they are denying me? Think about it, what did Jesus mean when He told Peter? He knew that His beloved Peter would claim not to know Him in his WORDS and his ACTIONS! One night Peter is declaring his undying love, claiming he’d walk through fire for Jesus, then when Jesus needed his support the most, he denied knowing Him.

This is what has become of the Christian faith. People claim to follow Christ but in all of their actions and words they are denying Him on a daily basis! Sure you can place a little fish bumper sticker on your car to declare you’re a Christian but as you load up the car with a case of beer, what is that SHOWING the world? That you’re just buying booze for your mother? Why not, she’s a Christian too, right?

I do understand the whole drinking in moderation but when it becomes a weekly bout of inebriation is that what the Bible meant when it said ‘drink and be merry’?

Luke 12: “And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.”

When Jesus declares ‘bridleth your tongue’ did he want you to cross your eyes and look at yourself sticking your tongue out? No! He meant that what comes out of your mouth will show your true identity in Christ. What you show the world is how you show Christ in you. The mask you hide behind in your daily routine is denying Christ. Imagine Peter when he wasn’t
surrounded by his friends in Christ, trembling and shaking when it came time to declare knowing Him. 

James 1:26 “If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.”

Is drinking alcohol denying Christ? No. Is disobeying the Ten Commandments denying Him? Not at all. Is denying Jesus [in you] to the world denying Christ? You bet. 

Mark 12:30 “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.”

33 And to love him with all the heart, and with all the understanding, and with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love his neighbour as himself, is more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.”

The people of the world are so busy conforming, trying to fit in, and one-upping their neighbor for popularities sake, they lose the Christ in them and are content with just knowing Him. Here it is in a nutshell, just knowing Him is in essence denying Him. To love Him with all of the heart, all understanding, strength, and to love thy neighbor as you LOVE THY SELF! 

If you hate a person just because their values don’t agree with yours, that is hating your neighbor. I pray for the souls who don’t understand what it means to have Christ in them, shining out ward to the world so that the world sees Christ IN YOU! 

Matt. 10:33 “But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.”

While Jesus showed anger at the demoralizing of the church, He did not HATE the men [neighbor] who hung him on the cross. What you see around you in the world today is the cock crowing, the world has denied Christ. Through images and idol worship, through the demeaning demoralizing of the Church, Christ is being denied. Through your actions and words you have denied the living God.

May God have mercy on you, bless and keep you. 

Thank you Lord, for allowing me to be a messenger.

Prov. 10:20 “The tongue of the just is as choice silver: the heart of the wicked is little worth.”

I Think Too Much

Matt. 26:53  "Thinkest thou that I cannot now pray to my Father, and he shall presently give me more than twelve legions of angels?"

Wow, Joni thinks too much, who’d a thought that? Well, my dear, sweet friends that’s who! Boy, when you’re feeling discouraged or depressed they make sure that frown is turned upside down! Apparently, I think too much and should just write about it so here goes. 

I could allow memes to speak for me but where is the originality in that? I could also allow a copy/paste guilt trip to speak for me but where is the sincerity in that? I mean a meme here and there but a constant stream of memes becomes tedious in just the action it takes when my fingers could be used typing a blog post or writing a novel.

I’m not judging the people that do the meme stream, sometimes people have nothing to really say and it can become easy to allow someone else to do the thinking for you via the meme-stream. I was once that person until I was God-slapped into waking up. I usually try to allow bible verses or quotations to express the way I’m feeling or sometimes I open my mouth and my fingers let out what is considered truth-nobody-wants-to hear. Is that a bad trait? Nah, its justice to my soul is what it is!

The meme-stream opened my eyes when ‘your memories on facebook’ popped up every day. I’ve tried to close it down but it keeps popping up but you know what, they’re not my memories. They’re just some beautiful meme I shared years ago and I realized I allowed someone else to speak for me and that isn’t a memory because I can’t for the life of me know what I was thinking or doing when I shared the image. 

We’re living in a world where we’ve grown accustomed to others speaking for us because basically, that is all that social media is, a stream of thoughts, even if they’re the thoughts of people you’ve never met, the meme stream is the ‘in’ thing. Now, what could be wrong with a society that is full of people not thinking for themselves? Well, we’ll see when November rolls around, won’t we?

We’re all so pre-occupied with the meme-streaming that something is happening out in the REAL world that has gained control and nobody has the time to take action because the reins of the meme-stream are ruling over them. The reason people believe the lies are because they are fed the lies in ticker-tape fashion through memes disguised as truth. Society disappoints me more and more on a daily basis than it does in giving me hope for the future. 

I love the pictures that people take of their family (pets are family), their gardens, their weekly excursions with camera in hand. That gives me hope as I visually see the beauty being flooded in from their lives into my little neck of the world. A meme doesn’t give me the same hope in the world since more times than not they’re just used to click-bait the naïve so some megalomaniac can make money off of ad revenue. A vicious cycle if I do say so myself. And the language, goodness gracious me oh my, people post anything! The F-bomb, S-bomb, A-bomb; I realize so-called Christians could care less what they share with the world and allow people to see who they REALLY are. Yes people, Christians curse like sailors and drink like them too. 

Now back to my thinking too much. This is clearly the truth. Why should I care if people live and love the meme-stream? Why should I care what the so-called Christians are doing? I only care because I see a diminished society being ruled not by their world around them but by social media. I love my friends and care a little about facebook since all of my friends reside there. I love communicating via the written word (my blog) but I am totally done with ‘this day in history’ because guess what, nothing happened five years ago that I can share, that are my own thoughts.

I have one or two, five friends tops that convey their day via WORDS, the other eighty some friends meme-stream and I have to wonder, do they even know I exist? They probably do but more than likely block me so they don’t hear my tales of this God and Son that I’m addicted to. I’m okay with that. I’m okay with screaming into the emptiness of space and time and no one noticing. 

I try to lift the spirits of other people but sometimes I get bogged down and distracted by the meme-stream so I have to withdraw for a bit so I can rebuild my strength. I live to write and share my words, uplift not bring people down. I live to live and embrace whatever God throws at me on any given day and no friends, my days are not spent on facebook, twitter or any other meme-stream forum.

The season of slumber will find me reflecting on the previous months in the year, the truths that I’ve shared, and what’s going on in today’s world means to me. When you look at me and read my words, don’t see a hypocrite, don’t see a so-called Christian, see God in me and that’s it!

God bless!