Gateway to Health: Confidence

Pss. 118:8 “It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.”

Confidence

Throughout scripture, I can find dozens of verses building me with the confidence I need to move forward. Ones where God promises to never let me down in times of trouble (and when there is no trouble also). 

As a child, I lacked confidence and had very low self-esteem. I had no confidence in moving from one day to the next. Suicidal thoughts were my companions throughout many years of my life. Venturing into a strained marriage as a child at seventeen, left me carrying the burden of a mental illness that I felt consumed him more than me. I told myself that I was the strong one. In hindsight I realize I was just as crazy as him. 

My first sexual encounter with him was that of statutory rape as I was fifteen and he was nineteen. But since I had been sexually abused years prior, I didn’t know the difference in sex and love they meshed like clouds and sun. Sex down by the grainy railroad tracks was not my idea of an ideal love story in the making but I went on for twenty years married to him all in the name of love. I guess I was as warped as him. My question all along was, would God save me? Would He get me out of this mess I got myself into? 

God enabled me to be free of the disaster of a marriage with a young child in tow and an angel that had passed over when I was sixteen. My hard knocks crippling marriage would have come to an end even if I was the only one who saw the enduring mental illness that carried the marriage into the roadblock that awaited us. 

Confidence was never my friend. I saw other girls, and then women look like torches in the darkened night, going forward with their hair blowing in the wind. They were free to carry the light and they did so with grace and confidence even if their inner turmoil was present, they had families supporting them, friends surrounding their inner circle, and they might have had a God that guided them. I don't know but from the outside looking in, they were the epitome of confidence.

Matt. 18:20 “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”

My fairytale was never so elegant. Mine was crawling in the pits of ashes, clawing my way from one disaster to another. Yes, I had God by my side, but what I didn’t have was two or three gathered. I was alone and lonely in my mind most of my childhood and adult life and the fight was my own while everyone else was floating forward in life. I was scraping my knees to get by, nothing more; I lived only to one day die.

Then in 2002 things began to change. Life was breathed into me. I felt a new reason to live and that was the fairytale kind of love that knocked on my door; all I had to do was leave everything (EVERYTHING, except my child) behind and go forward. I was no longer on my knees; I was being whisked away by the light and love that other people, the floaters, experienced. Leaving the alcohol and drug-induced dysfunctional family behind was a little easier than I  had ever imagined. 

To say that the next fifteen years were an easy breeze would not be true. I had to adapt to a new way of living; new family to embrace. Living six years in Texas was just the cocoon phase of my metamorphosis. I would be part of a team, him and I; I would be enmeshed in my dream of the writing world, I would love and be loved back, maybe for the first time in my life! Granted my family back home loved me, to an extent, I was out of sight and thus out of their mind. 

My heart and life grew ten sizes too big when he and I were forced to move to Nebraska, the hometown of my hubby and his ever-loving God enriched family. This was everything I ever sought in life, to love and be loved. I had online friends who grew into a family to me; I had spiritual friends who I knew were only brought to me by the hand of God himself. I had family that was close by and that accepted me with all my quirkiness and tales in tow, they all loved me!

This might sound a little crazy coming out of left field but this disease is just one of the best things ever to happen to me. How many of you can say that? I was given a second chance to embrace life. Change the things I KNEW were wrong. I'm allowing people to see that there is confidence in being supported one way or another. Support is not people saying, ‘Oh I’m so sorry this is happening to you,’ support is people watching you walk through the coals of fire and standing on the sidelines saying they know you can do it, thatta girl, way to go!

When this diagnosis smacked me in the face I wanted to live like never before. I wanted God to use me for His purpose and maybe this time with the support of spiritual friends and marital family, and my niece Sara from back home, I wouldn’t be alone in my walk. They would surround me with the support I needed and I would now be the torchbearer walking forward in confidence leading them with the Light I carry.

Pss 118: 5-6 “I called upon the Lord in distress: the Lord answered me, and set me in a large place. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me?”

A New Year

Psalms 116:8 “For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.”

A New Year

Winning! Victory! Health! Out with the old in with the NEW! 

This New Year is going to be all about health and what the mind can do to help you organize a mindset of winning, for your health. Healthy living is hard. Expensive? If you’re sitting there with cable television, internet, a new iPhone and other gadgets, is your internet use more important than your health? You say you can’t afford healthy food but again, there you sit with gadgets out the gazoo that you pay monthly for upkeep but why isn’t your health worth the same upkeep?

Then I see people trying to navigate their health with supplements. When this disease hit me I turned into a research guru on health and am certainly more knowledgeable than I was a year ago. 

Your health cannot be obtained by supplements and this year my journey is all about healing and health. This year isn’t about a disease or illness. It isn’t about how bad I’m doing, this year is about how GOOD I am doing! Not many people want to know about healthy living but if you do, join me on my journey.

You might be asking yourself where does my strength come from. I hope you know me well enough to know but if you don’t and want in on my little secret, again, join me on this wondrous journey of health and healing!

Many people are amazed at my willpower and I myself am kinda shocked at the will I have to want to remain alive and healthy. I assumed everyone was like me but as I’ve seen my husband struggle with giving up this or that I realized that not everyone has my iron strength. Don’t think this as me stroking my ego because I’ve said numerous times I don’t know where it comes from but I have a clue.

As the New Year unfolds and people are making fake resolutions that they know full well they’ll break in a month, try giving up something on a smaller scale. Not as a resolution to break but as a victory to gain your health! Make it a goal to finish by years end instead of in one night of wanting and wishing. This year I challenge you, strive to give up three things: sugar, dairy, flour/grains. I myself have given up these three things and more, like meat, unhealthy carbs, and toxic living.

My strength comes from what I think is a culmination of multiple things put together. Think of a brick, alone, it is just a brick but where two or three are gathered it becomes a protective wall one that the Wolf in The Three Pigs doesn’t easily huff and puff and blow down. So when asked where mine comes from I have to say, there is strength in the number of bricks I use.

Number one is faith. Walking a fine line between doubt and faith will not work. God was right, man cannot serve two masters. You either walk strong in your faith or you walk a line of doubt. Minimal faith doesn’t cut it when your life is on the line. Take the word ‘but’ out of your vocabulary. I ‘think’ I can do it with God, ‘but’. There it is, the fine line of doubt! Get it right to find success.

The second bit of strength I find is in support. If you don’t have support, anything you try, you will fail. When I was first diagnosed and told my friends I was going the holistic route and trusting in God and my faith, some were in shock and fled, others were extremely opinionated while others moved in closer to give me their full support. Unload the non-supporting crowd, they are not worth having in the first place.

The third portion of my strength is DETERMINATION! When you want to quit drinking, smoking, to lose weight and become healthy you MUST be determined to succeed! Have you ever taken diet pills to lose weight and they didn’t work? It’s because you thought the pill would do all the work for you. That’s not how it works. Your determination is the WORK you yourself put into your eventual victory.

Number four is CHANGE! To become healthy, lose weight, quit drinking or smoking you must change! Change your diet, change your habits, change your routines. To SAVE your LIFE, CHANGE your life! In the beginning, my husband was an obstruction but to me I saw it as a challenge. When he reached for a smoke, I took a walk. When he reached for a Pepsi I refilled my glass of water. When he ate candy I ate fruit! Over time, the weight melted off like butter in the sun and I felt healthy and the best I've ever felt in my entire life. I started feeling better, eating better and living better. Guess what happened? I was having an influence on my hubby and others. In just two months he has given up sugar and is actively changing!

His health is changing, his weight is changing and this wasn’t because he made a resolution in the New Year it’s because he was determined to stay alive! Isn’t that what we are all striving for? In the coming year, the majority of my posts will be about health, eating right, exercise, strength and determination! I might even toss in a few recipes. Live or die!  I wish someone had said that to me more bluntly in my early years, maybe I wouldn’t have shrugged off healthy living for the lusts of the flesh. A Happy, Healthy New Year to you! 

Gal. 5:16-17 “This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.”

Quotation Saturday ~ Hurricane, Death, Destruction

Prov. 15:11 “Hell and destruction are before the LORD: how much more then the hearts of the children of men?”

HURRICANES

“Do you know why hurricanes have names instead of numbers? To keep the killing personal. No one cares about a bunch of people killed by a number. '200 Dead as Number Three Slams Ashore' is not nearly as interesting a headline as 'Charlie kills 200.' Death is much more satisfying and entertaining if you personalize it.

Me, I'm still waitin' for Hurricane Ed. Old Ed wouldn't hurt ya, would he? Sounds kinda friendly. 'Hell no, we ain't evacuatin'. Ed's comin'!” 
― George Carlin

“Demons never die quietly, and a week ago the storm was a proper demon, sweeping through the Caribbean after her long ocean crossing from Africa, a category five when she finally came ashore at San Juan before moving on to Santo Domingo and then Cuba and Florida. But now she's grown very old, as her kind measures age, and these are her death throes. So she holds tightly to this night, hanging on with the desperate fury of any dying thing, any dying thing that might once have thought itself invincible.” 
― Caitlín R. Kiernan

“He knew too what it was to live through a hurricane with the other people of the island and the bond that the hurricane made between all people who had been through it. He also knew that hurricanes could be so bad that nothing could live through them.” 
― Ernest Hemingway

“Despite the fact we give hurricanes names like Katrina and Rita, a hurricane isn't a self-contained unit. A hurricane is an impermanent, ever-changing phenomenon arising out of a particular set of interacting conditions - air pressure, ground temperature, humidity, wind and so on. The same applies to us: we aren't self-contained units either. Like weather patterns, we are also an impermanent, ever-changing phenomenon arising out of a particular set of interacting conditions. Without food, water, air, and shelter, we'd be dead. Without our genes, family, friends, social history, and culture, wouldn't act or feel as we do.” 
― Kristin Neff

DISASTER

“You don't need another Human Being to make your life complete, but let's be honest. Having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn't see them as disasters In your soul, but cracks to put their love into, Is the most calming thing In this World.” 
― Emery Allen

“A poet should be so crafty with words that he is envied even for his pains.” 
― Criss Jami

“How many times had those awful words - "I know what I'm doing" - been uttered throughout history as a prelude to disaster? ” 
― Christopher Buckley

“Over the years, Americans, in particular, have been all too willing to squander their hard-earned independence and freedom for the illusion of feeling safe under someone else's authority. The concept of self-sufficiency has been undermined in value over a scant few generations. The vast majority of the population seems to look down their noses upon self-reliance as some quaint dusty relic, entertained only by the hyper-paranoid or those hopelessly incapable of fitting into mainstream society.” 
― Cody Lundin

SUPPORT

“I want to be around people that do things. I don’t want to be around people anymore that judge or talk about what people do. I want to be around people that dream and support and do things.” 
― Amy Poehler

“What is home? My favorite definition is "a safe place," a place where one is free from attack, a place where one experiences secure relationships and affirmation. It's a place where people share and understand each other. Its relationships are nurturing. The people in it do not need to be perfect; instead, they need to be honest, loving, supportive, recognizing a common humanity that makes all of us vulnerable.” 
― Gladys M. Hunt

“There are going to be times when you learn more about the world you’re entering and feel defeated when you see the gap between the ideal and the reality… But that’s something we’ll all face. The people that face those obstacles and overcome them are people whose dreams come true.” 
― Tsugumi Ohba

“No person, trying to take responsibility for her or his identity, should have to be so alone. There must be those among whom we can sit down and weep, and still be counted as warriors.” 
― Adrienne Rich

“The next time you want to withhold your help, or your love, or your support for another for whatever the reason, ask yourself a simple question: do the reasons you want to withhold it reflect more on them or on you? And which reasons do you want defining you forevermore?” 
― Dan Pearce

DEATH

“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.” 
― Anaïs Nin

“To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.” 
― J.K. Rowling

“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” 
― J.R.R. Tolkien

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” 
― Mark Twain

Phil. 3:18-19 “(For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ: Whose end is destruction, whose God is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things.)”

Sometimes... A Rest

Job 11:18 “And thou shalt be secure, because there is hope; yea, thou shalt dig about thee, and thou shalt take thy rest in safety.”

Sometimes… I just need a rest...

I don’t know if you noticed, but I posted for five days in a row after a week of no writing. Sometimes I just need a break and sometimes I just can’t stop writing. 

It’s not what you do in this physical body that God rejoices over, it is what you do in the spirit. My spirit is waning thin so I think I need a rejuvenating withdrawal from a society that sees me as well. I tried mowing the other day a little and my hubby who could see in my face I couldn’t do it anymore, stopped me short of the finish line. I hadn’t even done a lot I just wanted to try and do one of my favorite things in the summer for exercise and that’s mow.

Sometimes it’s just not meant to be. Sometimes He just wants us to rest and I’m not one that takes sitting down lightly. I would’ve kept going, working until my knees buckled but again cool temperatures or not, mowing wasn’t in the cards. Not much IS in the cards these days except writing, that keeps me busy.

I think I’m just going to take a break from it all. I’ve said that before only to come back the next day posting and commenting but quite honestly, I’m getting bogged down. I need to stop worrying what everyone else is or isn’t doing and I need to focus on ME! Me and what I’m doing to get myself well.

I’m in a BC support group on facebook but it doesn’t really feel like a support group, it’s more information to use and rules, what you can and cannot say, what you’re allowed and not allowed to post and it is all constricting like a Boa wrapped tightly around my neck. It also highlights all that I’m doing right but moreso things I may be getting wrong. After using all the money for supplements now is not the time to tell me that maybe this or that one is just not right but I’m glad to learn as I go.

I have enough supplements to get me to January, my one year mark since my diagnosis, then I’ll be out here on my own scraping the bottom of the barrel for the most important vitamins to keep in my arsenal. I can’t stress about that now, it is too far in the distance. With everything going on in the world from fires raging, taunting regimes, earthquakes rattling, hurricanes destroying, floods, tornadoes, there isn’t much ground left for society as a whole to hide.

Me, I don’t want to hide from it all, I just want to see and appreciate all the beauty in front of my eyes. From the silky blades of grass, to inhaling the newly mowed lawn, to playing with the hose a few more times before it gets too cold to do such an activity, to watching the falling leaves. Life is too short to worry about the physical, I’m going to inscribe in my soul the spiritual that will sustain me to the end.

I’ve noticed something with this disease, people are more sympathetic with you when you’re bald and accepting chemo, struggling in pain, vomiting, and accepting chemotherapy. Maybe getting sliced open appeals to some and it helps people sympathize easier. But when you’re going holistic, you appear well so nobody really gives a flying fig. Oh don’t get me wrong, some do, but when a friend writes on her wall, “Wouldn’t you like to just be able to slap some sense into people, this is a serious disease.” I know it was aimed at me and it’s okay, I have sense; I’m choosing to say NO TO DRUGS! That’s the best sense available to me. I’m healing and will continue to do so.

I’m glad that the drugs work for some. I’m glad people are living healthy lives and breathing with no problems from their chemo. That’s great it worked for THEM. It would never work for me. It just wouldn’t! I’m going to climb on my high horse now, then ride off into the sunset, and settle down with a good book and wait for winter to wrap me in its arms. If I think of something to write, like after the hurricane season finishes wiping out the states. God bless you all! I understand wanting to do it your way! Ride out the storm, you live you live, you die…oh well, at least you lived. That’s exactly how I feel. 

Godspeed…

Pss 55:6 “And I said, Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest.”

It Strikes Me...

Prov. 31:25 (NLT)“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” 

It strikes me…

Well, it hit me again, I was walking through Wal-Mart and it strikes me as odd at a number of people not even paying attention to what they’re buying. They just look, grab, and place the merchandise in the cart. Me, I’m scanning every label, reading every ingredient, more times than not replacing the product back on the shelf, even when it says organic.

Now that I know what I’m looking for at the store, it sure makes shopping much easier, because I can avoid the aisles with stuff I don’t need and if hubby wants something, he goes off on his own to get it without making me venture down the ‘toxic aisles’.

Then something hit me this week. I rounded the bakery section and was heading to the checkout and it caught my eye, a pink shirt with the decal on it ‘FIGHT FOR THE CURE’. As I got closer to the shirt, touched it, looked at the bold lettering and the pink ribbon, tears began to well up in my eyes, but I didn’t want to cry in Wal Mart. I knew what the shirt was saying, I knew all too well. 

You see, I always looked at those things and just became saddened for other women who fought, were fighting, or had lost someone. But for me? I never associated the pink with me. I never saw myself as a ‘one day that’ll be me’, no, I never let it cross my mind, I never grasped that straw.

And here I was gazing down at the pink shirt, touching the fabric, running my fingers over the letters and realizing it is me. That decal is referring to me. I’m one of them; one of the hundreds of thousands of women who this pink ribbon stands for. I felt small, I felt like an ant in the middle of the store with all the big humans passing by not seeing me carrying the heavy crumb. They were passing by not giving me a second glance. I was nothing on their radar. They were hurried and rushed and I stood there just looking at this shirt.

I let it go. I didn’t want the pink, I didn’t want to associate with what the shirt stood for. I in no way wanted any part of it. Just like the disease that is running through the very cells of my body, I don’t want any part of it. I seek normal, I just want what I deemed to be normal back and yet as I run my mind through the reality of it all, I have to let it go. Normal will never come back and this new lifestyle is the new normal for me. I have to accept that.

As we were driving home I asked my husband what the shirt said. My brain to me said FIGHT THE CURE, and my husband said no, it said fight FOR the cure. So as I held that pink shirt in my fingers, my mind was telling me a truth FIGHT THE CURE. That is my reality. THAT is the shirt I want to wear.

To me fighting FOR the cure could mean giving the oncologist their rights in filling innocent women with poisons. It is putting your support behind the victimization going on and treating everyone like little gathering ants. Give them a crumb here and there but don’t you dare give them wings! Ants can’t fly and by allowing them to think they can is going to start an entire new breed of ants! Fight FOR the cure could also mean that there has been no cure found. The oncologists give you pacifying drugs but chemo is in NO WAY the cure, so we women must FIGHT FOR THE CURE to be found.

And to me FIGHTING the CURE means just that, fight the very thing that doctors are feeding millions of women. Fight what truth they believe and set out to find your own leg to stand on. Fight everything they hold like poisons to be the ‘cure’. Because as I’ve learned over these past eight months, the doctors are only selling you what the pharmaceuticals are selling them. I could be 100% wrong, but again, all that I’ve learned in the past eight months tells me that I and thousands of other people are feeling the same thing I am and trusting their instincts and finding what works for them!

Our bodies were created with an immune system. That immune system is in place as a healing mechanism that the human body utilizes. To me, not trusting God’s creating abilities, is in a sense not trusting God at all. When you look at a DNA strand, do you realize how intricate that strand is and all it stands for? The strand is God in an intimate shower within you.

Hebrews 4:16, “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” (NIV)

When you were little, didn’t you come to depend and trust your father? You looked up to him and held him in the highest esteem and trust. When he told you something, you believed it to be true and to this day, I can almost guarantee you utter the words from time to time, “My daddy always said…”
Why would we think that our Heavenly Father is any different than ‘our daddy’? 

If truth be told. God is our daddy and we can trust Him as we walk. Just like your earthly father, He will never lead us down the wrong path. We’ll stumble, we’ll fall but he’ll see to it that his gentle loving hand lifts you back up and sets you on the right path again. We just have to trust Him like we trusted our daddy all of our lives. He did NOT give me this illness, that’s like saying he led down the wrong path like he made me destroy my body. Nope, we all know where sin comes from and my torturous life led me to this illness, not God. 

It strikes me as kind of odd that people put more trust in a human than the intricate, intimate Creator. Maybe it’s just me; maybe I’m the odd one. I separate myself from this disease so it doesn’t own me. I face the enemy with the Sword of Truth. I strike the lies before it strikes me!

James 4:8, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” (ESV)

Embracing My New Life

Prov. 16:24 “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.”

Embracing My New Life

First, let me just say that I have some of the most amazing friends! When I’m in a venting mood they sense me knowing me so well and knowing I’m doing my best and being so strong in this illness, they surround me to lift me up and give me strength! THAT’s what friends are for! Thank you! You’re precious to me!

I think I touched a nerve in my post about what I eat and how I miss food. Don’t misunderstand me. I never really ate that much food before my illness and I’ve always really deep down wanted to eat this way but when you have a kid and a hubby who likes unhealthy food, I comply. I think I’m the kind of person that always takes care of everyone else before I take care of myself. As you can see, that is not always the best line of defense.

With this illness, I’ve found friends who already eat this veggie way, or are willing to change their diet to make themselves more healthy. If one person changes the way they look at food and all its ingredients after reading my post, then praise be to God! 

You see, as much as I want this new lifestyle to be about me, this diagnosis has hit my husband and son pretty hard. My son, who is twenty-one fears losing his mother and my husband, who lost his dad to lung cancer, lost a young cousin (thirty-three) to colon cancer and has an aunt in hospice now with cancer, doesn’t know what to make of me and this decision to go alternative. 

Do you see? All of these losses and all chose chemo. The doctors never gave them alternatives or even suggested current clinical studies, they threw them into the chemo chair and now they are deceased. I am not saying chemo didn’t help YOU if you are a current survivor, I’m saying chemo didn’t help members of MY family, too many to list, and I want to see if an alternative treatment works, for my husband, for my son, nieces or nephews. I NEED to see if there are alternative routes. I’m willing to do this instead of becoming another statistic in the family.

I’m trying to be strong for hubby, son and my family and they’re trying to be strong for me. But I hope you realize the thing about me again is, I always think of others before I think of myself. When I post about my food shopping excursions, it's really about me hurting to see hubby digging and digging looking for one thing that isn’t there for me. He is trying so hard and this is his way of dealing with what I’m going through.

My husband is the non-communicative type. He’s so much like my father it is eerie at times. When I ask him if he’s okay with me doing the alternative treatment he says, yeah, and goes on with his day. I thank God every day for giving me more than five senses because I can sense what hubby’s thinking and feeling and I sense that he’s afraid, afraid of losing me.

I know my husband doesn’t have the strong faith and devotion to God that I have but then again, not many people do. I don’t think myself a diamond, many people can find a diamond or pearl, I think myself a rarer gem like the elusive Black Opal. I don’t say that from an ego standpoint, I say it from an observational standpoint. I also think my friends would agree, I’m a rare gem among the crowd. Let me just note, I have many friends who are rare gems also! We are a rare breed slowly going into extinction but we are out here fighting to stay ALIVE! 

As I pray and meditate day and night to heal myself, I have a family back home that I have released; I had to, to heal. A friend had said to make amends but I have nothing to mend back there, I reached out and only my sister and her daughter have reached out to show support. My mother still does not know of my diagnosis, she is not well and still grieving heavily for her husband of sixty years and my sister and I agree, she’s just not well enough to know.

I need to heal! If I stress over what is back home, I won’t heal. Luckily over the past thirteen years, I’ve written so much that has aided in my emotional healing, I believe it was strengthening me for the here and now.

Since my friends are so supportive and understanding, I now have them seeking out recipe’s for me whether from online or their own. They’re the ones going to get me through this! They’re the ones on this journey WITH me and doing everything within their power to help; monetarily or otherwise THEY are here for me! My friends along with my Lord are my strength!

Alkaline Foods I CAN eat: 

ALKALIZING VEGETABLES (preferably organic) 
Alfalfa
Beets
Broccoli
Cabbage
Carrot
Cauliflower
Celery
Chard Greens
Chlorella
Collard Greens
Cucumber
Eggplant
Fermented Veggies
Garlic
Green Beans
Green Peas
Kale
Lettuce
Mushrooms
Mustard Greens
Nightshade Veggies
Onions
Parsnips (high glycemic)
Peas
Peppers
Pumpkin
Radishes
Sea Veggies (not a fan of kelp, but hey, I’d give it a try)
Spinach, green
Sprouts
Sweet Potatoes
Tomatoes
Watercress
Wheat Grass
Wild Greens

So you can see, there is a lot I CAN eat! My list of no eats is on the list of Acidifying side of the list. I cannot have acidifying elements! The cancer cells love toxins and acid is the home of toxins. Recipes with the above ingredients will be greatly appreciated and may even wind up in the book I’m writing, with your permission of course. 

My friends, we can do this! With your support and encouragement, I KNOW I can do this! Onward Christian Soldiers…let’s go to battle! 

God bless each and every one of you! 

A Thank You To My Friends

Prov. 18:24 "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."

I need to send a shout out

To my online family

The dearest thing that I have

Hovering like a canopy

I tell them that I need help

They run to give me aid.

To me they are essential

The BEST thing that God made!

I call these faithful people friends

Even though we’ve never met

They shower me with support

And love I’ll never forget!

I’ve known some for a decade

Other friendships newly formed

I light up when I see their name

Their words have kept me warmed.

They could have left me out here

Without a care in the world

Instead, they share the burden

In this windowed computer world!

They actually care if I live or die

Their pockets turned inside out

These tender bonds we’ll carry

For years to come no doubt!

I sincerely love these friends of mine

Who treat me like one of their own

I’ll never forget the love they gave

Or the Light from God they’ve shown!

THANK YOU for keeping me ALIVE

God Bless Each and every one of you!

A most sincere indebted Thank you to:

Sara Brittany (niece), Flory (cousin)

Becky, Mike, Ben (Jeffrey), Debbie, Dixie,

DonnaS, Heather, Leona, Stena, B.J Gavina (Jim)

And to ALL of my online FB Friends,

too many to name!

Thank you for your continued support!

I LOVE YOU ALL!

Never Feel Alone

 Pss. 55:1 “Give ear to my prayer, O God; and hide not thyself from my supplication.”

Never Feel Alone

Now before you tell me that I am never alone, God is always with me, I got that down, I’ve been feeling lonely as people react at the mere mention of the enemy Cancer that is attacking me. I feel like I’m accepting the diagnosis better than they are. 

For the past week since I the hammer fell, I’ve been embracing optimism. I have hope and promise in my hand and I just so happen to be walking around with a mustard seed in my hand. My faith is actually bigger but those around me physically, may not be on the same fulfilling promise of their faith. That concerns me.

My mother-in-law wants to come and see me and I am fine with that. If she needs to see the Light of Jesus shining through me, then there really is a purpose and reason for everything and I believe that with every fiber of my being.

I wrote to her in all earnestness and asked her what she was coming out to my house with; pity, sorrow or hope and positive input? I know she surrounds me with love but I can honestly from ten miles away sense the pity in her tone the sorrow in her words, the fear in every letter of the alphabet.

Deut. 28:66 “And thy life shall hang in doubt before thee; and thou shalt fear day and night, and shalt have none assurance of thy life:”

Just a few comments (not all) from DEAR friends. Full names withheld for privacy reasons. 

Mike said: “People fear death because they have no hope. They've been brainwashed into thinking it's [death] something really bad.”

Donna said: “It's normal for people that love you to be upset. Of course, you do not want pity but God will use you during this time to help him established his Kingdom.”

Shellie said: “I believe very firmly that we are healed through the stripes Jesus took for us!! You have many friends and family praying and loving you through this process! I also believe that staying as positive as possible is a must do in healing.”

My favorite response by Tom: “People fear most that which they cannot control; they think that if they eat right, think right and do right, they can control everything. Even Christians get coaxed into thinking their reward is in the blessings of this life. But then Cancer, ALS, MS, and Parkinson's diseases come along and confront their/our comfort in THIS life, taking away our self-confidence. But confidence in "self" is not confidence in God. Trusting in God, and placing CONFIDENCE in His will, is what ultimately allows us to make a smooth transition from this life to the next.”

One of MY responses: “Exactly! And I don't feel like God is saying (to ME) choose chemo, prolong your life over choose ME, *I* AM the WAY, THE TRUTH, and the LIFE. And I will take you when I'm good and ready no matter WHAT you choose.”

Pss. 27:6 “And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD.”

Does my comment scare you? I understand that they’ve made great strides in the medical field but the treatment is still the same as it was forty years ago, drugs, chemo, radiation. Let me ask you this all of you political aficionados if the enemy from another country threatened your life, is attacking that country with radiation your first line of defense? No? Why not? Because it would KILL innocent people along with the bad! THAT is exactly what chemotherapy does; it KILLS the bad cells but also wipes out the GOOD cells needed to SURVIVE! I’m just choosing another line of defense for now.

When you get the big C diagnosis there is a flurry of bombardments from every angle. The treatments offered are only the ones that the doctors submit you up for, it’s their job. I keep hearing about positive thoughts and prayers are essential in healing but my Oncologists is sworn to Conventional Treatment and if I don’t go that route, she’s out some money I’m sure. 

How can chemo help me if I don’t BELIEVE it can help me? Chemo would NOT work for me because I don’t believe it can help me. I don’t have a positive mindset where chemo is concerned. Sure, they can pretend it is going to work, they can pump me with drugs and radiate me, but if I would go into a treatment that I didn’t have one iota of faith in helping me, how could treatment in that manner save me?

Now, I have faith in medicinal herbs, always have and always will. Why? Because I’ve always believed that God put a cure for EVERY illness right here under our noses and in front of our eyes, but we are too blind to see. We are too bogged with taking a ‘doctors orders’ to see something else that might benefit our disease/illness.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some doctors who go against the grain and are superb and richly needed but are they open to hearing YOU! Do they dismiss any hope you have by shrugging off your faith, your belief, and your wishes? If your doctor gives off negative vibes and a me, me, me attitude, is that the doctor you’re going to want to go with for healing YOU? 

That’s where I’m at, the oncologist left me feeling alone surrounded by people. Now, my friends, they’re a different story I told them I’m choosing this route of holistic healing and they lift me up! Surround me with prayer, and now are supporting me monetarily so I can get all of the vitamins I need to go into battle against the enemy. I have a very prayerful and faithful group of friends.

Isa. 2:12 “For the day of the LORD of hosts shall be upon every one that is proud and lofty, and upon every one that is lifted up; and he shall be brought low:”

My niece started me a sort of GoFundMe page called YouCaring. She asked beforehand if I’d mind and being bombarded with info from everywhere and what I’ll need to fight this enemy, I told her to go for it. Not thinking anything would come of it and I’d be in this battle alone but no, my friends and family came out of the woodwork to help their fellow man (um, woman). I WILL remember those who stood by and lifted me up and I DO thank each and every one who reaches into their bag of riches (can’t take it with you). And I will lift you all in prayer because I LOVE YOU! 

I’m without funds and I know we live in a world where people need every penny that they have, I totally get that and understand because I’m in the same boat with you. But not to share the link is leaving me alone, all alone in this fight of mine. It costs nothing to share the link, it is showing me visually that you support me on this journey. With a share, you are spreading a positive love and acceptance of me. I love you for that!  

Luke 6:20 “And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said, Blessed be ye poor: for yours is the kingdom of God.”

Fear has crept into some, fear of the unknown. They don’t know enough about the disease, but I do know it’s not contagious. Staying away from me and ignoring me isn’t going to keep it from your doorstep. I’ve read that this cell was more than likely growing inside me for the past ten years and now it is full blown in an ‘I can feel you lump’ fashion. Unhealthy eating was the fertile soil the cell needed to grow. 

Come along with me on this journey of a lifetime! Hold on though, it’s not a fantasy trip; we’re going to the deepest depths of reality and there is NOTHING to fear because GOD is with me, with US, all the way. While I love you all, I love Him even more!

Pss. 5:3 “My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.”

MY new motto! "The face of the CURE not the face of the Disease!"

May God touch you all, in the same way, He IS TOUCHING ME!

How to Help a Writer

 Our Pumpkins from our Garden

In my many years of mentoring writers I’ve learned what it takes to really help a writer. I’m here to give you some tips on a writer helping writers.

1) Encourage: This one should be a given, but there are some writers out there who think it is their task to bombard a writer with malicious critique. Which only disillusions a writer and makes them run for the door. My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say it at all.” I think my mother, along with many others are right on this one.

2) Support: This is also a given. A writer that doesn’t have the support she needs to get through writing say her novel or short story, may never make it through 500 words nevertheless 50,000 words.  Stand by the writer in the family, group, or friend who only needs your support to get them through.

3) Critique: This is one where you tread lightly. While all of us love an honest critique, I have never met a writer who welcomed harsh critique. That goes against a writer helping a writer.

4) Be nice: What? You need ME to tell you to be nice? That’s sad. But I have ran into quite a few mean-spirited people in my day who want to claim to be a writer, but they go against EVERYTHING in this list of how-to’s, who target one writer, and tries everything in their power to take a person down. Shame on you! And you call yourself a writer?

5) Befriend: Befriending a writer is a good thing. If you surround yourself with like-minded folk, then it can only benefit your journey and keep you moving forward instead of backward.

6) Respect: Respect others opinion and take it with a grain of salt. That has helped me the most in writing. Not all people are going to be positive but even the negative, when turned into a positive, can be beneficial.

7) Network: Yes sir, you’re going to need a network of writers to help you especially when it comes promotion time of your work.

8) Gentle criticism: This is needed for all writers. Yes we want to hear our work is good but we also might need assistance in the grammar department or punctuation rules. Be gentle in offering assistance. Don’t throw your hands up in the air when someone misses a comma, or has lousy punctuation skills! Be gentle with your words. You KNOW the affect words have on people.

9) Motivate: Motivating a writer is essential. When you see someone not getting the encouragement he or she needs, they lose their ability to be motivated in continuing their writing journey. A lot of times writers block will set in and it is hard to get out of that slump. With the proper motivation, they can be led back to their writing, thus fulfilling their desired destiny.

10) Be there: Be there to see them through all ten of these steps. You do realize that it is you that is going to make or break this writer. I never met a writer who did not benefit from all of what I’m saying.

Talk-o Tuesday

Ps. 31: 2 Bow down thine ear to me; deliver me speedily: be thou my strong rock, for an house of defence to save me.
***

Any time I get a chance to do a little promotion of a fellow writer, I jump at the chance and tell you what great people they are. Writer’s are their own breed ya know. We’re family and we all  stick together.

So I once again will tell you about this awesome poet, besides myself mind you, that has just had her book Vines of Life put on the shelves! Published and on its way to becoming a must read. Julie Jennings is an inspirational poet that might just lift those spirits when they are down, or maybe give you something enjoyable to read as you sit on the park bench basking in the sun.

Then there is my blogger friends that I like to boost like Benning, June, Raven and Gran. She’s not my Gran, she is Deb, who is a gran and we can all relate to that. Even with her grannyitis she’s a cool cat!

Then there is the audio book blog that I would like to sell you on. It’s called Audio Book Heaven, and with reviews for all genres, he is the up and coming Siskel and Ebert of audio books! But there is something different about him, something that makes him and his blog extra special. He’s blind. All that means is that he can’t see, it doesn’t mean he can’t blog like crazy, and you know, sometimes in the wee hours of the morning, I hear him out here tapping on the keys like rain on a tin roof.  I’d call him a Madman but he is my beau, so I’ll spare the egg tossing. *wink* *wink* 

So there you have it, the audio book blog to end all audio book blogs. His style is unique, his charm to die for, his writing, excellent in depth reviews, and the pudding on the pie? Well it’s my pie, but he’s growing closer to God and who can’t relate to that? Diversity, adversity, and everything in between, he triumphs and I think it is only because of, his love for God. He’s also blogging about his trials/triumphs being blind so if you want a glimpse you’ll find him here at Drums in the Deep.

So why not give him a click? Lend him and all my friends support! They’d do the same for me, I just know it! They are my support when my legs feel wobbly, my rock when I feel like sand, my muscle when I shimmy like jelly, they are... my writing friends!

And the beat goes on...