Rehab, the Story Continues: Santa is There

John 8:12 “Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.”

Three-and-a-half days! I made it. I made it to the weekend. But getting there was not without its many hurdles. This story is not all about ‘The Nursing Home’ ordeal, or the staff, this is about my journey, a fifty-two-year-old woman with stage four breast cancer, lymphedema of the left arm, radiation treatment to my bones and recovery of major surgery of my broken femur. Take for instance my Oral Chemo, it was running out, I did not have the wits about me to know how to reorder so I had to leave it up to my husband to take care of matters. The drugs I was on were pretty strong and keeping my mind busy and pretty much in a fog.

He called the Dr.s office, the nurse said she’d order it, no problem, he called back and Fay said it would be delivered Friday but needs a signature. Uh oh, hubby would have to miss work AGAIN, and miss seeing me all day to wait for meds! Not a happy gal but it’s okay, I’m tough and getting tougher by the day! Needless to say by three o’clock when the meds had not arrived hubby came to the hospital to visit me, even if it was only for two hours. He can’t drive at night, so we watched the sun (or lack thereof) very closely! A different story, the meds never arrived.

When Friday came I was happy to have made it to this day alive, although I had never wanted to give up more than I did this week. A loneliness had settled in, hubby knew it, and no amount of cuteness from Ray, or compassion from the staff could move me. It was a tough week on my spirit and soul. This was also the last day of radiation to my arm, and my son stepped up and said he could go to the CC with me. The weekend, I’d get a break, right? 

Then there was the day earlier in the week that they had to take my clothes to put name tags on them, even though we told them WE would wash them, they needed to be tagged. (I didn’t hand everything over but I stupidly gave them lounge pants, two flannels, brand new socks, and a pair of underwear. All were returned by Friday except my underwear and socks. When Kay, my occupational therapist heard this she set out on a search of my missing panties. She returned to my room waving them in her hand and said, “Hey, no wonder they wanted to keep them, they’re cute!” We both laughed but I through my tears. She hugged me!

Then there was Santa. Thursday had been a day of sunshine and warmth and I had even had a chance to open the window. Ray didn’t like the window opened because it gave her a chill. She was on the other side of the curtain between our beds and didn’t know it was open. The warmth, the sun, it was all I had to cling to. Yes, people, before you tell me to cling to God, please know, HE is the only thing that kept my breath in my lungs, He is first and foremost, but the sunshine and the warmth were for me on this day. 

Coming back from my radiation treatment that day found me in the sunshine. On the side of the entry to the hospital was a little area with a table and four chairs, lining a brick path were rocks, rocks of all shapes and sizes. Hubby and I followed the path, to the chairs and table and we sat in the sun, I in my wheelchair of course. We watched as nurses changed shift and a nurse had brought a resident outside to feel the warmth of the day. The table was back a little ways from the entry so hubby and I enjoyed the table and sunshine. I enjoyed the one monarch butterfly that landed on a rock not ten feet from me and my chair. Thank you, Jesus, I whispered out loud, as a tear trickled from my eye. 

Then he appeared, an older man hunched over his walker. He was taking tiny steps as he scooted to the path. An obvious Husker fan dressed from head to toe in his puffy red Husker slippers, his red husker lounge pants filled with the Husker team logo, all topped off with his white t-shirt with a big N for Nebraska, trimmed in red on sleeves and neck. His full white moustache and beard were reminiscent of Santa Claus. Steven softly sang… ‘here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane...’. I smiled.

Santa stopped at the rocks and just stood there looking down at them. One minute, five minutes passed and he moved, inching closer to where Steven and I were sitting. Again, Santa paused to stare at the rocks. He was within earshot of me now, I said, “Do you like the rocks as much as I do?” I myself was eyeing one shaped like a heart. Yeah, I draw to me these kinds of people. 

He looked up at me, then back to the rocks before he answered, “Yeah.” He began inching closer to me again, and stopped, mesmerized by the rocks. He began talking without looking up from the rocks, “They’re beautiful. Back in my shop, I take CLR to clean them. It brings out their beauty, then I polyurethane them. Yup.” He began to turn around and looked at the other side of the path lined with rocks.

As he slowly turned, he made his way right to the edge of the path. I thought he was turning to go back in the home but no, he paused to look at this side of the path, too, before heading inside. Staring at the rocks he whispered, 

“Y’know, it’s like looking at a million mountains,”  he went on, “Y’know how the rocks are made don’t ya? The rain,” he paused a moment, “the rain cuts them out of the mountains and they all wash downstream, getting cleaned up through the river until we gather them and see them for their beauty.”

By this time I had tears in my eyes and Steven and I were both looking at each other in wonderment. I knew there was a message in there for me but I couldn’t see it through my tears. Santa looked at me and smiled raised a finger to tap his nose and he proceeded to slowly walk back to the door, with one last quick pause to gaze at the rocks, he went inside.

I told Steven that it was now time for me to go back inside too, I got what I came for, a message. I picked up a rock, and we went inside the home, to my room. It didn’t seem so small anymore.

The moral of the story to me is: We are all refined by God made perfect in His image as we go through the trials and suffering of being washed downstream until we’re seen in our perfection before the Lord.

Isa. 48:10 “Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction.”

Poetry Sunday ~ Time is Short

John 16:32 "Behold, the hour cometh, yea, is now come, that ye shall be scattered, every man to his own, and shall leave me alone: and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me."

Time is Short...

Time is so short life is so sweet

There is no reason to repost a repeat

Over and over the same old stink

Missing kids, adults, dogs on the brink.

Political banter of who’s right and wrong

Hatred spread for far too long.

Claiming to love country and fellow man

Proudly boasting from where you stand.

I sometimes look and feel great shame

There’s no sign of God and love you claim

The social realm is for you to stand tall

Making life look like you have it all.

Why not spread truth, a message convey

Not the sinister life of a hypocrites day

God has a story for you to share

If only you’d take the time to care

Time is so short and life is so sweet

Nature subdued and health incomplete

The media has blurred the beauty within

Whitewashed all truth and amplified sin.

Total Eclipse of the Soul

Prov. 3: 5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

Total Eclipse of the Soul

I wasn’t expecting too much yesterday because weathermen tried to ruin the suspense but I was hoping I would get to see the once in a lifetime total solar eclipse in its totality and let me tell you, it was everything I expected and MORE! I set my lounge chair up outside directing it toward the sun. About ten minutes before the moon began its trek in front of the sun, I posted my blog yesterday. Sloppy as it was I was in a hurry and wasn’t much caring about typos or grammar at that point, I wanted to witness the breathtaking total solar eclipse, the spiritual experience of a lifetime.

I hurried outside, plopped in my chair and the hours passed by like liquid pouring from a cup. My neck has been in a lot of pain this past week, I think from sleeping wrong but yeah a lot of pain for days now. I couldn’t sit in the normal lawn chair, I had to use the one that enabled me to stretch out allowing me and my neck a relaxing position without hurting myself.

I lay there, glasses on and sat watching, waiting, wanting. For some reason, I was expecting something metaphysical to happen because when I watch the stars, the clouds, the leaves, nature, in general, I always have the experience to write about even if it’s meant to be just for me. But yesterday, the eclipse was for millions to witness but would we all see it the same way? Would we all feel that universal connection to the heavens?

My tee shirt logo

Hubby purchased tee shirts a month ago in eager anticipation of what was going to unfold. As the day the eclipse was set to happen, you could feel something brewing in the air even upon waking. Now we’re in no way extravagant, but we felt we needed to mark this day in history by something more significant than a picture. A tee shirt was our little taste of extravagance for the special day. The above pic is mine and my son's workplace provided their own tee's for the occasion. This event is big for Nebraskans.

The entire week leading up to the day had been sunny but forecasters called for this special day to be huddled in clouds. At best the eclipse would be hit or miss. Not expecting anything because of what the weathermen said, I still waited on the Lord to put on a spectacular show; if he can move mountains and part the sea, He certainly can make sure the clouds are moved so that those who needed to see the blazing glory had the chance. 

The temps were in the eighties. the breeze swift and I could feel myself getting a little anxious. Like a teenager anticipating a first date, I awaited my escort to show up. The shadows were playing tricks; dancing silhouettes spun on the ground. The sky looked like a fluorescent light bulb casting shadows in a strange flickering light.

Shadows on the ground minutes before totality

As the moon crept over the sun the sky was slowly becoming the celestial event of a lifetime for me. As it neared totality, the wind ceased. The birds quieted. My husband and I basically were holding our breath. Do you remember the scene from The Ten Commandments movie where Moses is facing the burning bush? He took his shoes off because he was on the Holy ground? That is exactly how I felt as the minutes ticked toward totality, the seconds became the moment, and totality kissed my face, brushing my hair in darkness, whisking my mind to a euphoric high. The sky darkened, the stars briefly appeared, birds silenced as crickets chirred to life.

It happened, the gentle kiss upon arrival, a ring of fire lit 'round the moon. I could see a pinkish light to the right of the moon as if to blush at seeing me. The rest of the circle was a shiny silver plate setting at the King’s castle. Then something happened I wasn’t expecting, tears flowed from my eyes and I bowed my head in the palms of my hands and thanked the Lord for this chance to see His beautiful creation in full splendor. Points of light shone round about like a silent explosion. I bawled my eyes out trying to see all this beauty while fireworks went off in the background twenty miles away in the instant darkness graced the earth. I was basking for a moment in the presence of my Lord.

Totality

While I’m seeing images from around the U.S., some real and some obvious fakes, some over filtered, some raw, there is nothing like actually viewing with your naked eye. Nothing captured what I actually observed with my own eyes, heart, and soul. For a twinkle in time, people stopped, the earth paused in adoration, kids stopped texting and saw the event that would give rise to higher thoughts. My hubby used his eclipse glasses as a shield to click a picture of the total eclipse. He took one with his phone and one with the camera. Me? I was lounging in awe, silently rejoicing in my Lord for the majestic event of the day, looking forward to when we’d meet again. While not everyone was consciously focused on the same thing, I was only focused on Him. Not the sun, not the moon, Him, just Him, the One and Only Son!

Dan. 4:3 “How great are his signs! and how mighty are his wonders! his kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and his dominion is from generation to generation.”

Acts 2:19 “And I will shew wonders in heaven above, and signs in the earth beneath; blood, and fire, and vapour of smoke:”

The Secret Garden

 

“If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.” 

~ The Secret Garden

The Secret Garden

Last night I chose to watch The Secret Garden. I knew why because it would hit close to home and I needed to see the story again. I’m sure you all know the story of an orphaned girl who was sent to live with her uncle who was never at the one-hundred room mansion that his staff took care of including his hidden son and now his ever present young niece.

There are many renditions of the tale over the years but this one was the now classic 1993 version. Little Colin Craven, Mary’s ten-year-old cousin was sheltered in a room where he was told that he was very ill. Never having been outside he believed he was ill and couldn’t walk.

Mary feeling so alone after her parents’ death, went exploring the manor and discovered a secret garden. With the help of the housemaids’ brother, together they brought the garden back to life.

The story unfolded in an elegant manner as Mary saw through Colin and aided him to see that he was not ill, he could more than likely walk and she’d eventually bring him to his deceased mother's resuscitated garden.

You might be able to see and understand why this hit close to home for me. I was raised to believe that this illness I’ve been diagnosed with is a death sentence. I feel sometimes as if I've been placed in the chambers of this vast mansion, told to stay in my room and believe that I am sentenced to death. 

Usually and ironically it is the older generation, like Mrs. Madlock, who gives off the most negative vibes. I need to do this their way because they KNOW this is what worked for them (and others). Or I need to listen to them because they are my elders. Or, this one tops the cake, you need to let God guide you in the RIGHT direction. Do what??? 

I seriously think that people, unknowingly self-righteous, want to point me in one direction when all along I’ve been going in the direction that MY GOD IS LEADING ME! Yesterday marked seven weeks with the knowledgeable diagnosis of this journey and I have ALWAYS sought God’s guidance through prayer and meditation. I need to ask, in all honesty, is your prayer better than mine? Does God only guide YOU in the right direction and not me because ‘I’m younger’? 

As I see people dissecting the numerous versions of the Holy Bible, I myself have only dissected the King James Version and hold that one close to my heart throughout my life. I don’t go for the ‘easier read’, I go for the complicated read that makes me REALLY intently meditate on every word and its meaning. 

You see, what I’m saying is, what works for you doesn’t work for EVERYONE and you need to be open to the individual path of the youth, the elders, and the in-betweens. We’re all on a different journey and what has worked for you can only be relayed as your experience in the matter, not what will work for an individual in their path. Be open to seeing their version of THEIR journey. 

Yesterday was a somewhat good day. I went shopping with hubby and yet again I amazed myself. I didn’t get dropped off at the front door, I walked in the store and through the store and then back out to the truck. I felt great, I FEEL great! Is someone who has been dealt a devastating blow supposed to feel great? Am I supposed to feel empowered, energized, cheerful, happy, and radiant?

I wonder sometimes if as you read this you think this is some form of denial. Let me assure you, God does not master in trickery and fooling a being into believing one thing while He’s at work crafting a big punch in the face so reality sets in. If that is what your God does to you, it certainly is not what my God does to me.

If God had led me to the chemo route, these blog posts would have gone in a much different direction. With seven weeks of research, numerous doctor visits, two of which were oncologists, and a years worth of prayer on the matter, God is leading me in my HEALING! I am not going this alone and I’m not listening to those around me who try to sway me with their ‘sage advice’. 

Last night was the first time in a long time that I had a bad nights sleep. I find that when you sleepwalk to the bathroom in the middle of the night, it’s hard to shut off the negative voices all clamoring for a place in your head. So, much of the night I was wrestling demons. I guess I’m allowed my bad nights. 

Today I awoke and saw the world as a garden, ripe and ready to be groomed. The warmer weather is smacking us in the face this week, the fields are bursting with activity as farmers get a head start on preparing their fields for crops, and the Crane are awake and singing their tune.

I’m fighting a winning battle and your support, prayer and positive affirmations are welcome in my world. If you, a believer or not, have a negative insight as to what God is doing in my life, please, keep it to yourself as I have MANY surrounding me in belief and support in the way I should go.

As Lord Archibald Craven was summoned prayerfully, in the only way some children know how to pray, back to the mansion he was shocked to see his son walking outside in the Secret Garden, healthy and ALIVE with Mary and her friend. All embraced the BEAUTY of LIFE! Even if the Secret Garden is only in my mind, it is a beauty in the world that I embrace! Live, love, see and be awakened now. May God bless each and every one of you. 

Pss. 96:6 KJV “Honour and majesty are before him: strength and beauty are in his sanctuary.”

What I leave Behind

Job.30:18 “By the great force of my disease is my garment changed: it bindeth me about as the collar of my coat.”

*No poetry Sunday, I have too much to say

What I'll leave Behind

Being hit this week with the diagnosis of cancer has left me in an emotional state that is totally foreign to me. I’m a person of light, love, and hope and this week I was tossed out onto the battleground of a disease that has plucked many members of my family (whether blood or friends) away and out of my life.

It started with subtle signs about a year ago in 2015, the year my aunt succumbed to some kind of cancer and my non-blood uncle to lung cancer. The signs were there but I brushed them away trying to hide from them so they didn’t see me and begin to form on me. I do know they went the cut me open, spread the disease, and radiate me, only for the diseases to stay dormant a year or two and resurface, wiping them out entirely. This is the way it was for members of MY family.

I’m thinking that this is the unexpected earthquakes or avalanches, tornados or hurricanes that come in and rattle the very routine existence you live. Day after day we routinely wake, have coffee, shower, go to work, sit on facebook and many do it day after day thinking possibly this is all God has planned for my life.

I was asked what I’m feeling right now and honestly, I don’t feel. What is on my mind is what I might have to leave behind, then with this morning's sermon I was smacked with the reality that this is just God shaking up the routine I call life.

Have you ever lived through a tornado, hurricane or earthquake? Did you lose anything? Well for some, they lose EVERYTHING while some lose a little, and some nothing at all. Sometimes lives are lost and the ones left behind have to sit in wonder of what just happened and try to grapple with the reality that their lives were shaken completely off the axis of routine living. 

You may think that your life is going to end because you can’t live without routine but let me tell you, God does not like people to become stagnant and stuck in a routine for months or years on end and this is the reason we have shake-ups in life that come completely out of nowhere.

My routine life is going to be shaken up big time. I will no longer wake, sit at the computer, write and surf the web, nope it will be slammed with test after test, surgery and possibly radiation for days on end, week after week, then I’ll either be defined as a survivor or a victim. I choose survivor, but MY plan might not be God’s plan. My husband’s routine of waking and sitting on the web, playing his games, surfing YouTube will be massively shaken but I’ll see him trying to cling to what he thinks is HIS routine not realizing that God is in control of ALL OF OUR routines! Hubby will try to remain in control when basically we’ve never been IN control in the first place.

While I think about what I might leave behind, my husband, son and my family I also have to think of what lies ahead for me and that is the journey to our amazing Father. Yes, no matter what I am put through I will still see God as amazing. He doesn’t want me to focus on what I’m leaving behind, He wants to chisel away all routine brick and mortar and place my eyes on the spiritual route that my life has been and will continue to be in the hereafter. 

Day after day I wake and want to just wallow in a bucket of tears, and that’s okay because right beside me is my Amazing God saying, I can carry this load for you, I’m here for you. Isn’t that amazing? When we think we can’t take anymore, can’t cry one more tear, we have God, the Comforter ready to carry the weight of the load. We might think he’s forgotten us but no, it is during that time He is remembering all the beauty He created in you and looks and says, “I did good! She’s beautiful!” That my friends, is my solace, knowing God sees the beauty in me that he created and I gave to the world.

As much as you want to cling to that routine fantasy life, and hide from the reality that has shaken your world via tragedy or illness, keep in mind that it is NOT your life, it is God’s life. Just because you bought and own that new electric self-driving car it is not yours, it is in the hand of something more powerful and electrifying than you.

When a tragedy strikes and your comfort of a routine is gone, don’t fight to get the mundane actions of a day back, take this time to seize the opportunity to CHANGE your routine, because rest assured if you don’t, God will!

1 Cor. 15:51 “Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,”

Ice Storm 1 16 17

The petrified tree branches are creaking with the slightest breath of wind. Weakened limbs snap and fall missing the electric wires and the beloved truck. Littered is the lawn with limbs gone by. The darkened sky speaks to my heavy heart and the tears from the clouds erupt into ice pellets that are attacking everything in its path. Blessed be His name, the Protector of all! 

BEAUTY! 11-11

1 Chron.16:29 “Give unto the LORD the glory due unto his name: bring an offering, and come before him: worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness.”

BEAUTY

Keeping to my word, I am writing about the BEAUTY I see in the world. I have to admit while everyone is happy stroking their ego’s I am content seeking beauty where there is none. 

I open my eyes in the morning and am grateful to be alive another day. I thank the Lord as I shuffle to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. It is usually after a good eight hours of sleep. Yes, I’m still young enough not to have inhibited sleeping patterns and I chalk that up to my daily prayerful meditations and the content feeling I have with MY life.

I hear people say that they’ve suffered from insomnia all of their life, or because of medications it stops them from sleeping all night, or that they take a supplement to help them sleep, or that I better enjoy sleeping all night while I’m young because the older I get the less I’ll sleep. 

I guess I see why they call it beauty sleep because of the rarity of a restful, content, full night of sleep is absolutely beautiful. Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to see the BEAUTY in a good nights rest.

After the coffee begins perking I take my dog outside for her morning business. It is usually dark and before turning the outside light on, I stare at the illuminated starlit sky and say good morning to God. I usually get a wink but it just might be my eyes adjusting to the dark after coming from the lit house. Thank you, God, for allowing me to see the BEAUTY in the early morning sky!

I gather my dog by giving a whistle and she either slowly (she’s getting old) crosses the leaf filled yard in noisy steps or makes her way around the front of the house and begins barking for entry. I let her in the house and we both meet at the pantry where her treats are stored and she stares, gratefully and eagerly; even if she’s done nothing, she knows a treat is coming! Thank you, God, for allowing me to see the BEAUTY in my dog’s smile.

I turn and go to my finely brewed coffee after listening to the final groan of percolating, I stand there, inhale the scrumptious aroma and thank God once again for technical gadgets that bring the house alive visually and aromatically. Thank you, God, for allowing me to see the BEAUTY in a well-brewed cup of coffee.

I begin shuffling across the floor with hot coffee in my hand, pause as I inhale the steam, and continue walking to my lit computer screen. “What will I write about today, God?” then I click the weather that screams in the darkness, warmth and sunshine this fine November week and again I say, thank you, God, for allowing me to see the BEAUTY in an unseasonably warm day!

To my left, the sun begins to rise in a splendid show of color, I open the bible and read, pray and meditate on the Word He has so richly filled me with since my youth. Good morning my dear friend, thank you for allowing me to see the BEAUTY in prayer and the brilliance in the sunrise. Even when it is hiding behind clouds I sense the BEAUTY and warmth that the sun lends me to start my day.

I click ‘log in’ and the beauty melts away like a wax candle placed in the center of a roaring bonfire. I pray… “Lord, help me see the beauty in the world through your eyes.” My computer crashes… I shuffle myself to the kitchen for a second cup of BEAUTY!

“Sometimes people are beautiful.

Not in looks.

Not in what they say.

Just in what they are.” 

― Markus Zusak

Quotation Saturday ~ Encouragement

Pss. 26:3 “For thy lovingkindness is before mine eyes: and I have walked in thy truth.”

ENCOURAGEMENT

“How would your life be different if…You walked away from gossip and verbal defamation? Let today be the day…You speak only the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same.” 
― Steve Maraboli

“You can get a thousand no's from people, and only one "yes" from God.” 
― Tyler Perry

“...You can do something extraordinary, and something that a lot of people can't do. And if you have the opportunity to work on your gifts, it seems like a crime not to. I mean, it's just weakness to quit because something becomes too hard...” 
― Morgan Matson

“Do not sit still; start moving now. In the beginning, you may not go in the direction you want, but as long as you are moving, you are creating alternatives and possibilities.” 
― Rodolfo Costa

ACTION

“To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.” 
― Mahatma Gandhi

“To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend.” 
― Jacques Derrida

“You are what you do, not what you say you'll do.” 
― C.G. Jung

“Faith is about doing. You are how you act, not just how you believe.” 
― Mitch Albom

DECEPTION

“Just because something isn't a lie does not mean that it isn't deceptive. A liar knows that he is a liar, but one who speaks mere portions of truth in order to deceive is a craftsman of destruction.” 
― Criss Jami

“People trust their eyes above all else - but most people see what they wish to see, or what they believe they should see; not what is really there” 
― Zoë Marriott

“When you look at the past without God’s eyes, you subject yourself to deception. The past no longer exists and God doesn’t linger there. However, Satan will show you whatever you want to see and believe, so you will be trapped in an emotion that cannot communicate truth, beyond what you want to remember.” 
― Shannon L. Alder

“People appear like angels until you hear them speak. You must not rush to judge people by the colour of their cloaks, but by the content of their words!” 
― Israelmore Ayivor

TRUTH

“I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live up to what light I have.” 
― Abraham Lincoln

“I quote others only in order the better to express myself.” 
― Michel de Montaigne

“The truth is not for all men but only for those who seek it.” 
― Ayn Rand

“There is beauty in truth, even if it's painful. Those who lie, twist life so that it looks tasty to the lazy, brilliant to the ignorant, and powerful to the weak. But lies only strengthen our defects. They don't teach anything, help anything, fix anything or cure anything. Nor do they develop one's character, one's mind, one's heart or one's soul.” 
― José N. Harris

Thought for the Day: "Just as we can always find an encouraging word from God when we need one, always try to have an encouraging word for someone else in need. A well timed word of encouragement can change someone's day or, in some cases, their entire world." (see Ephesians 4:29) I hope you have an incredible day today my friends! – Elmer Laydon

They're all IDIOTS!

Prov. 15:1 “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”

How does that feel? Don’t you just love it when a ‘so called’ Christian stands out in plain site calling people idiots? That speaks volumes to the kind of person he/she is, I mean seriously isn’t there another way to hate people or nations, provinces, races, colors, ideologies? To disagree is one thing but to name-call, that is just harsh words to stir up anger. 

What I see when people name call are people who are racist, prejudice, ignorant slanderers that would not hesitate in calling a handicapped person a derogatory name either, or someone overweight belittling names or a mentally challenged person a demeaning name. It is the nature of haters to hate everything they possibly can and love only, what, their own mother?

This is a sad world when all you can do is register hate to begin your day. Are you telling me that your life is so boring that you have nothing better to do in life but spread hate, hate-filled posts, ignorance, lies and disgusts? I thought I had a sad life because of all the love I have for nature but surely the hate-mongers are desperate for attention. Oh don’t worry, they are not alone because they rally the numbers behind them and have the innocent victims falling in line to agree and cheer on their hate rant. I guess it is justified but the vicious cycle actually makes me want to puke. Just as my posts anger people for whatever reason because I don’t share in the hate? 

Prov. 19:1 “Better is the poor that walketh in his integrity, than he that is perverse in his lips, and is a fool.”

A couple of months ago the singer Prince died. The social media lit up in condolences and sympathy while the haters did nothing but add the dislike for the man. Was it because he was black man? Or his religion wasn’t the same as theirs? This weekend Muhammad Ali died after a long battle with an illness but he died happy and content. That made the jealous ones sit up and fill to the brim their hatred of the man who didn’t do one thing wrong to them, but oh wait, he was Muslim. 

You see, in this country, you cannot be any other religion. You can only be one political party and you MUST agree with the masses or you are up the creek without a paddle. If you do not conform to one way of thinking you are the one shunned for being different among the crowd. 

I wonder if this is what the Native Americans felt like when the Polish, German, Irish, British, Jews came over and put them in their own little private corner of the world and tried to force their religious and political beliefs on them.

In America, you can be Jewish and you’re accepted and praised, you can be Catholic, Protestant, Pentecostal, Baptist, Jehovah Witness, Lutheran, Methodist, Buddhist and any other religion except Muslim. God forbid should you be a practicing Muslim in America because that is SO un-American and no person will accept you. Yes, that IS what the Native Americans feel like. 

The hate-filled people will say that the Muslim are killers. Muhammed Ali was a practicing Muslim, was he a killer? Aaron Hernandez is a killer, OJ Simpson is a killer but they were probably of the right religion and that is why they are idolized.

I don’t even think America is divided by religion in my eyes, we’re divided as the people who love, and the people who hate. You either fit in or you don’t. Get over yourself people, America does NOT own the world and does not own religion. You so-called Christians need to learn how love, practice what you preach and stop all the hating any one or thing that doesn’t conform to YOUR expectations.

What to do? Well, what I do is I bask in the glory of the trees, the earth, the fields coming alive, the colorful birds singing and chirping, the sun rising and lending shadows to the earth. I rejoice in my Father who is in heaven and gave this beauty for me to behold, love and appreciate. Am I wrong for loving the human species the way Jesus loved all men? Am I so naïve to cherish all that I have in my life and not want for more?

I am content, I am alive and I LOVE. Alleluia, Amen!

Poetry Sunday ~ One Day I Will Die

Matt. 4:16 “The people which sat in darkness saw great light; and to them which sat in the region and shadow of death light is sprung up.”

~ One Day I Will Die ~

One day I will take my last breath

what will you remember of me?

My intense love of life

My emotional good spirit

or God’s Light that has set me free?

Will you hold my laughter in your hand

Will you see the joy I shared

Am I the girl you’ll always say

“Now there’s a woman who cared”

One day I’ll whisper my last breath

What will I leave behind?

The pureness of heart

A well lit path

For you to try and find?

Will my passion for nature linger

Will my presence always bloom

Am I the one you’ll remember

Who lit an entire room?

One day I’ll breathe my last breath

The memory of me you’ll trade

Will any portion 

Of me remain

Or will my essence fade?

God light the fork before me

So I know which road to take.

Allow them to keep a part of me

That I know I dare not take. 

Matt. 22:5 “But they made light of it, and went their ways, one to his farm, another to his merchandise:”

Beauty ~ To Each His Own

Pss. 36:2 “For he flattereth himself in his own eyes, until his iniquity be found to be hateful.”

As some of you may know, I attended a Catholic school from first to eighth grades. Daily I wore the uniform of the plaid jumpers with a white collared shirt for five years, to the plaid skirt and white shirt for another three. 

I never had to worry about competing with looking good to the other girls. Each passing year the time came for me to receive my hand-me-down jumpers from my shorter sister. Yeah, I was taller than my sister by second grade and even with the awkward unleashing of the hem the length was still too short, for me. 

All the other girls had new pristine jumpers every year obviously from a wealthier family but me and my little jumpers, we made it through five years, and the skirts lasted for three. Only on weekends and after school did I wear different, more comfortable clothes and I always decided that this was when I was defiantly going to show my body in a way the nuns would scoff.

I suffered from low self-esteem as a child always trying to be different and I would dress to where I would be noticed, whether it was in butt bearing shorts, halter tops or painted on jeans. I was being noticed; icy blue/gray eyes, long flowing blonde hair, a perfect size zero. It didn’t take me long to figure out that men (yes grown men) were not looking at me (a child) because I was cute, they were looking at me like I was a raw steak being fired up on the grill and they couldn’t wait to stick a fork in me! Certainly not the attention I was seeking.

As I grew, I matured and realized I didn’t need that sort of attention; my tastes in clothing grew, as did my self-esteem. Sure I was now a perfect size six, still long flowing blonde hair and icy blue/gray eyes but something had changed within me; I found God. No longer was I dressing for beastly men, I was now dressing for God! I wanted Him to notice the beauty within me and I longed to please Him in every way.

The problem with that was I was still being noticed in my modestly covered up body but no longer seen as a steak on a grill, I was being admired as a beautiful woman. People saw something in me and I’m most certain it was God shining through me; I had finally become the modest young lady my father could be proud of and the person my heavenly Father didn’t have to turn His head away from.

It saddens me today to look around and see the young girls dressing like they want to work the strip in their hot-pants and boob bearing shirts but I also see that men have not changed over my lifetime. Since the beginning of time man has lusted after the female gender, sadly young or old. Women have always wanted to be looked at and some of us will go to great measure to see our esteem lifted. I would never go to the lengths women do today with all of the plastic surgery from their noses all the way down to their butts. They NEED to be seen and men NEED to look. 

How can I help these young girls? Do I judge them? Do I laugh at their foolishness or do I show compassion and understanding knowing I was much like them once?

Besides pray, I’ll write. The only way to look beautiful and I mean REALLY beautiful is when you have self-confidence. You don’t need tattoos and to be pierced in every orifice to feel confident; you don’t need to dress in slutty attire to attract a man. A real man is attracted to inner beauty that exudes from you whether you’re dowdy or absolutely gorgeous. The beauty you carry inside is what finds the real men to marry, not the false bravado you traipse around and taunt men with. You need to know you’re worth something to YOU not just an object for men to be their eye candy!

I’ve seen many young girls walk into church looking like they were going out to a nightclub and yes, I would think what on EARTH possessed them to wear THAT? Then I remember…I was once like that too; in time they’ll realize it is only for God they should look good for, not for the MAN beast or the WOMAN competitor. Build confidence in YOURSELF, dress for YOU, see your beauty as God sees your beauty! He doesn’t see you with dyed hair, tons of make-up – He sees you naked and bare and what He sees is BEAUTY!

For the non-believers please know, if you’re dressed as a lady of the evening and you’re attracting men and boys, know that they’re not worth the air you breathe if sleaze is what they’re interested in. Maybe it IS what you’re interested in; a life with no breath. 

Quotation Saturday ~ Positive Beauty

Job 40:10” Deck thyself now with majesty and excellency; and array thyself with glory and beauty.”

POSITIVE

“Thoughts are like an open ocean, they can either move you forward within its waves, or sink you under deep into its abyss.”
~ Anthony Liccione

“An attitude of positive expectation is the mark of the superior personality.” 
~ Brian Tracy

“When you are joyful, when you say yes to life and have fun and project positivity all around you, you become a sun in the center of every constellation, and people want to be near you.” 
~ Shannon L. Alder

“Do not dilute the truth of your potential. We often convince ourselves that we cannot change, that we cannot overcome the circumstances of our lives. That is simply not true. You have been blessed with immeasurable power to make positive changes in your life. But you can't just wish it, you can't just hope it, you can't just want it... you have to LIVE it, BE it, DO it.” 
~ Steve Maraboli

INSPIRE

“Hide yourself in God, so when a man wants to find you he will have to go there first.” 
~ Shannon L. Alder

“You must give everything to make your life as beautiful as the dreams that dance in your imagination.” 
~ Roman Payne

“Find a purpose to serve, not a lifestyle to live.” 
~ Criss Jami

“When you are living the best version of yourself, you inspire others to live the best versions of themselves.” 
~ Steve Maraboli

MOTIVATE

“Destiny reveals itself only when there is truth and action.” 
~ Suzy Kassem

“He who coordinates his thoughts with his actions controls his own destiny.” ~ Amunhotep El Bey” 
~ Amunhotep El Bey

“If an ordinary person’s words have consistently good wisdom, then he may have to wait long before most people appreciate and rate him high; because almost all have mindset to often uplift heavy things later and light objects earlier and this has been in vogue or practice since time immemorial.” 
~ Anuj Somany

“Words do less than 10 things, but actions do more than 10 thousand things. Leaders don’t talk in vain; they follow with actions.” 
~ Israelmore Ayivor

BEAUTY

“Remember the Lotus Flower”

Great people will always be mocked by those
Who feel smaller than them.
A lion does not flinch at laughter coming from a hyena.
A gorilla does not budge from a banana thrown at it by a monkey.
A nightingale does not stop singing its beautiful song
At the intrusion of an annoying woodpecker.
Whenever you should doubt your self-worth, remember the lotus flower.
Even though it plunges to life from beneath the mud,
It does not allow the dirt that surrounds it
To affect its growth or beauty.
Be that lotus flower always.
Do not allow any negativity or ugliness
In your surroundings
Destroy your confidence,
Affect your growth,
Or make you question your self-worth.
It is very normal for one ugly weed
to not want to stand alone.
Remember this always.
If you were ugly,
Or just as small as they feel they are,
Then they would not feel so bitter and envious
Each and every time they are forced
To glance up at magnificently
Divine YOU.” 
~ Suzy Kassem

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.” 
~ Ashley Smith

ANGER

“And I just want to tell you, at some point it doesn’t matter who was right and who was wrong. At some point, being angry is just another bad habit, like smoking, and you keep poisoning yourself without thinking about it.” 
~ Jonathan Tropper

“Angry people are not always wise.” 
~ Jane Austen

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” 
~ Mark Twain

“Your perspective on life comes from the cage you were held captive in.” 
~ Shannon L. Alder

“Your anger and hatred makes all the positive beauty turn into nothingness. Are you the sum of your hatred or the sum of your beauty?”
~ Joni Zipp

A few pics

2 Chron. 20:21 "And when he had consulted with the people, he appointed singers unto the LORD, and that should praise the beauty of holiness, as they went out before the army, and to say, Praise the LORD; for his mercy endureth for ever."

I'd like to share some of my pics I never use. They have beauty that needs to be shared!

This one was from our days in Texas. No, not my home but I would've loved to live in these days where life was much simpler.

This is one from the Moody Gardens in Houston Texas.

As is this one.

I don't share these pics as often as I should. Hope you enjoy the blessing from God that we embrace daily. 

See beauty in ALL of the world!

God Bless you!

Beauty

Mark 16:15 "And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature."

A visiting bunny

An Egret       

 Cows in the Field (Nebraska)

Life!

Enough is Enough

Exodus 15:6 “Thy right hand, O LORD, is become glorious in power: thy right hand, O LORD, hath dashed in pieces the enemy.”

There comes a time in life when you have to just say enough is enough! What am I referring to? Being too nice. I’ve hit a stumbling block where being too nice oftentimes gives people the false impression that they can use and abuse my niceness and I’m left standing defending myself from an enemy I didn’t welcome.

Sometimes I can be an inspiration, encouraging, a guide and most definitely a friend. But there are people who will take advantage of that niceness relinquishing me to not wanting to ever help and be nice. That’s just wrong.

I have been with my husband for over thirteen years and he is MY strength, MY inspiration and MY reason to be who I am! If it were not for him I would have never had the confidence to write, to share, to give, and guide. And do you know the one thing he gave me the most of, his trust!

My ex never trusted me explicitly and with my husband I have 100% trust and because of that I’ve grown. The only setback is that I’ve grown too much, too nice, too naïve, too trusting of others when in reality I should always keep my guard up and be on the lookout for the enemy who wishes to gain entrance into this pure soul.

Have you ever sat outside on a warm summer evening and saw lightning bugs lighting up the night? Your first instinct (for some) is to catch one of those bugs, place it in a jar and just enjoy the beauty of such a little thing lighting the night. I don’t say this conceitedly but from my experiences with the world, I think myself a lightning bug (to some). They see my light whether it is in my writing or something I’ve said and they have a forehead-slapping moment and want to contain me in a little jar.

I’m sorry friends, my light is so bright it cannot be contained. That’s like saying you can write the entire Bible in one sentence, it just can’t happen. When someone says I’m a beautiful person, I think they are really seeing the beauty of the Lord shining through me, not my physical appearance. They see the pureness that the Lord instills in me and they too want the same thing. Yes, this is why I said I don’t say these words conceitedly, because I see the Light shining from others as well.

My last post was about the Walking Dead – Zombies if you will. Again, the definition of a zombie: a.the body of a dead person given the semblance of life, but mute and will-less, by a supernatural force, usually for some evil purpose.

b. the supernatural force itself.

We live in a world where people appear to be human but really they are guided by a supernatural force, a dark force. We can see it, just as the lightning bugs fly around at night; we can also see the bats swooping down to eat them.

While I love watching the bats, I never cower because they are there, I’m just cautiously aware of their presence. I have to be this way with humans too who think they are above all forces of nature.

So to you my friends I’ll say, while we’re living in evil times, never cower because someone or something wants to snatch out that light within you. Instead trudge on and shine brighter than before and pull all the forces of Light around you. Not only will your friends shelter you with their armor, the armor of God will boldly protect you as well as His blinding shield of Light!

God is real! God is good! God is faithful! God is my strength! God is my shield! God is love! Most of all: God is ALIVE! ~Amen!

1 Cor. 15:22 “For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.”

Lent: Day Eight ~ Born Again

John 3:3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

Born Again 

I remember that day I became born again quite vividly. When you are born again in Christ, it’s not a day you can ever lightly forget. Christians worldwide can’t quite remember when they became a Christian, but being born again? They never forget that day.

I told my family in my excitement and they responded negatively to my announcement, 'I’m born again!' They said mean things like, “She’s being brainwashed,” “Don’t be spitting that Jesus stuff on ME.” And “Now she’ll be a Jesus freak.”

They were right, not about being brainwashed but about becoming a Jesus freak. As I’ve said before, I was being raised Catholic and the day I became Born Again I converted to Christianity. I was giving my life to Christ and my family didn’t know, didn’t understand what that meant.

My new school was a Christian based school and I was learning new things I had never learned about in my eight years during my Catholic elementary school. I had NEVER in my life heard the term Born Again. I didn’t know what it was. How can someone become BORN again?

The change began in my eighth grade year. I was on my way to completing one of the seven sacraments that it takes to be, I guess, initiated (?) into the Catholic religion. Confirmation was important to the teachers and nuns and the priests and all year long we worked on the meaning of Confirmation.

My mind swirled like storm-warning clouds as you can imagine for a thirteen year old. I was feeling the Lord deeply in my soul. He was moving within me and confirmation was confusing me especially when I was asked to tell a priest my sins. I had had a private meeting (like all of my classmates) with the priest and since I didn’t/couldn’t answer his questions I was deemed unconfirmable, which means one strike against me being confirmed.

The second strike came when we were to go to the church and have confession. You might call me defiant or stubborn, but I WOULD NOT tell the priest my sins! Sister Margaret Mary asked me why, “Why Joni, why?”

I bluntly told her that a priest cannot forgive my sins, only God had the power to do that. She rolled her eyes with a tight smile on her face and said, “You’re right.” A long pause, then she said something that changed my life, “God has a special plan for you, Joni. You don’t conform, I like that. Maybe you’re not meant to be in the Catholic religion. Only God knows.”

She had the sweetest smile when saying that. Any other nun would have been shocked and aghast but not her, she and Sister Karl Ann had said over the years that they saw something special in me. So my saying this did not shock her like I thought it would have.

That year, I was denied confirmation. I should have known that since I had picked Saint Joan of Arc as my patron saint. She was a persecuted saint. She talked with God on a regular basis (not much unlike myself) and she was burned at the stake. Sister Margaret Mary had wanted me to pick St. Christopher (the Christ bearer) or Saint Francis of Assisi (patron saint of animals) but no, I chose the patron saint of my God given name, St. Joan of Arc.

Being denied confirmation, I was told by my father that I had shamed the family, the only one in his memory who had EVER been denied confirmation in the Catholic-in-name-only family. Persecuted, I felt persecuted.

The night my classmates were confirmed, Sr. MM had told me I could sit up in the balcony and watch the service and that is exactly what I did. This was the night I was confirmed by God! Not by a priest, not by man, but by God himself. As the Spirit of the Lord washed over me tears fell from my eyes landing in Sr. MM hands as the procession of classmates cleared the church, she looked up at me and smiled. She knew, God had confirmed me.

It was the following year at Christian Liberty Academy that I became Born Again. We had watched a heart-wrenching movie on salvation and afterward we (all 28 of my fellow classmates) gathered around in a circle and fervently prayed. Tears were shared, emotions were high, the power of prayer consumed me, and as the Holy Spirit filled the room, satiated my soul, I gave my life to Christ. I was not just confirmed by God this time; the entire trinity wrapped warm arms around me and welcomed me to the family.

My life would never be the same again. As with all born again Christians, we remember distinctly the day we gave our life over to God, we distinctly remember the day we were ‘Born Again’. We became a newborn all over again, living for Christ and nothing else. Christ, our birthmark, would mark our every move. We wear Him on our skin for all the world to see. And like a newborn babe, everyone looks at us too see the beauty that we hold.

1 Pet. 1: 23 Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever.

Beauty of the Sandhill Crane

Song of Sol. 2:12 The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land;

~ The Sandhill Crane ~

The majestic beauty of Crane descending

Black lines mount the sky

Like rows and rows of soldiers pending

Their song-filled woes draw nigh.

Their movement off in the distance

Seeking a haven to rest.

Being met with no resistance

To the wandering river they nest.

Right on cue each year they meet

The melody fills the air.

Gather together new friends to greet

A sanctuary they share.

Flocking northward like a band of thieves

To the winding river they roam.

A blanket of clouds each one weaves

Finding a shelter to call home.

Briefly at the Sandhills they stay

The morning’s call will incite you.

You’ll rise and shine to greet each day

Until the moment the Crane bid adieu!

Isa. 60: 8 Who are these that fly as a cloud, and as the doves to their windows