Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Day 2:Selfish me

Isa.13:7 Therefore shall all hands be faint, and every man's heart shall melt:

Well this is Adam's second day in school. He liked his English class where they will be reading To Kill a Mockingbird for this first semester. Two other kids and himself were the only ones who’ve already read the book. Out of twenty some kids, 3 have read this classic.

He liked Workshop, Physical Science, and his Spanish class where they have a virtual teacher? My how times have changed. There is no real teacher in the classroom, she is via Skype, teaching. I do have to wonder what happens when the kids spit a spitball at the screen. Well, I read that they have camera’s around the room to monitor, but is this really what our classrooms have come down to? Will we be putting teachers out of jobs soon and let the virtual things teach?

Adam didn’t like being away from home and I didn’t like him being away. We’re pals, buddies, we lean on one another like two peas in a pod. I’ll know more how he feels by Friday. You can’t judge in one day. Getting lost and not knowing things like all of the other kids, not having friends like all the other kids, and wandering around dazed and confused in a new place on the first day can be kind of scary to a ‘babe in the woods’.

I am being selfish in saying, it was me and all me who raised him. Steven and I are raising him. I give the love, tenderhearted support and Steven does the dishing out of chores and making sure things get done in an orderly manner. It’s not all about me. There are three people being affected and as Adam’s bus was appearing outside to drop him off from school, both Steven and I raced to hear the exciting news of how his day went.

This will definitely take some getting used to and as my heart bleeds each and every second I don’t see Adam, I know this is for the best. I just wish everyone would stop with the, “This will help him grow.”  “This will benefit you both.” “This is the best thing you could have done for him.” and oh so many more things to try and make me feel better.

I’m glad you all have the right answers and since you have the manual on “How to Raise a Child Exceedingly Perfect” could you keep it to yourself? It is like when someone dies you say, “He/She’s in a better place.” Do you know that for a fact? No. You’re saying it to be a comfort but sometimes, well all the time, it is no comfort to the person who just lost someone. They want that person back and words are not going to do it!

I do thank all my friends for their support. I would not have gotten through yesterday without those kind words. And after all, Adam is ALIVE and he came home! It doesn’t seem like we spent any time together yesterday. Two, three, four hours doesn’t cut it, when we normally spent at least 16 waking hours a day together.

I’m in Zombie mode. I’ll make it and I’ll write all about it...someday.



Ro said...

I absolutely love your honesty hahahaha!!!!! Since you have the parenting book hahahahaha! Ok love it. I am not going to say a darned thing because well, I don't have a child. I don't live in Nebraska. I don't have a fiance who's blind. Let's see, what else don't we have in common. Oh yeah, how bout just about everything since we don't have the same life, the same ideals, the same beliefs? Haha! Ok, I'm feeling really physically blah today and it's showing in my snarkiness.

What I will say is kudos to you for letting him do what he thinks is best for him. Kudos to you for turning it over to God. I mean really, what else is there? I don't have to tell you that you'll get through this and you'll adjust, because you already know that about yourself. I just wanted to let you know I'm still reading, so I'll be watching this journey right along with ya. *hugs*

joni said...

Watch it now I might just have to start calling you Snarky. hahahaha

Well I figured we both,Adam and I, are going through a separation anxiety. And since we're cut from the same mold, I'm thinking we'll get through this too. :)

Today was a lot better for him but me, well I'm another story. haha

You'll just have to read about it tomorrow! :P

Thanks Ro for finding all the things we DON'T have in common, but I can counter with all the things we DO have in common. hahaha

Be good snarky. I hear it is okay to just be!

*hugs* back to ya!

Ro said...

I think what I was trying to say was that I'd never try and tell you what to do or how to feel since our lives are so different. Things we don't have in common wasn't the right way to put it lol. So brain foggy today. I can't even think of the word I want for what I wanted to convey. What I was trying to convey, to communicate, what word am I looking for? Haha!

joni said...

We may not be exactly the same but we understand what each other wants to say when we say it. ;)

I confused you more. hahaha

Have a good night Ro. You'll feel even snarkier in the morning. :)