Memory Lane

Annapolis Maryland

Pss. 23:3 “He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.”

The Path Down Memory Lane

Last week was one long stroll down memory lane. I understand we’re not to live in the past but to move forward, but something about the season of fall makes me want to stroll down that path, at least once a year to revisit the good and bad that I left behind.

I don’t wallow in the mire; I never cling to the dust, I just reminisce then brush it off like an over neglected attic. Sweep the lint, brush away the good and bad crud, filter what goes out and comes back in. Yeah, that’s the best way to deal with an unsavory past.

When people see me now they think, ‘oh it couldn’t have been all that bad, look how well she turned out.’ This statement might be true from your perspective, on the outside looking in, but from my perspective, life was not good in any way shape or form.  

I started writing my blog in 2005 but didn’t start taking the writing and expression of my thoughts seriously until 2008. In the very beginning the blog was just about my thoughts, most of which I deleted but by 2008 I turned the blog into helping writers and the craft of writing. 

I’ve been writing poetry all of my life and really didn’t get into writing fiction until about 2004 when WVU (Writers Village University) came into my life and changed my path forever. I was so excited with the new turn in my life, I shared it with my family who as always, never for one second encouraged me and didn’t really care about my writing unless I was famous and making tons of money. 

As years passed by my love of writing grew and my blog has been an important avenue of healing because it is here where I bare my soul and that’s why the name changed a few years back, I was healing and moving away from the painful past and moving into a new leg of the journey that God had carved out for me in my path to the future. 

My journey is not about making money, my journey is about healing and this is what you read, a sinner on the path of healing. I write from my heart and if my family read anything I wrote they would, I’m certain, be ashamed of not having more to do with me or they’d be angry and finger pointing but such as it is, they will only look for my writing AFTER my death.

Job 30:13 “They mar my path, they set forward my calamity, they have no help.”

I have written my mother and father poems since I was very young. I can honestly say I can’t remember the last time I bought a Hallmark card for them, I’ve always written my own. Maybe not Hallmark quality but it spoke to them and how much I cherished them in my life. My sister was always jealous of my ability to convey meaning to my parents via poems and she has tried writing a poem once but her one try in life came off as forced emotion; whereas my father adored my poems and looked forward to them with every Christmas, birthday and father’s day.

This is what started the stroll down memory lane last week when my mother was reading the poems I wrote to my dad and she told me that she cried with reading each one. She also said that my dad had kept a lot of them in his drawer, I guess so he could read them and feel somewhat close to me as I, his baby, was so far away from home. Then she said something that unknowingly hurt, she said my father read one and looked at her and said, “We’re never going to see her again, are we.” It hurt because he never had a chance to see me again or to hear the last poem I wrote him. (Thanks to my sister, he never got to hear it read. Bitter? YES! Admittedly so!)

While everyone is ranting and raging about politics, I’m taking a stroll, one that has me thinking selfishly about my healing, my growth and myself. Is that selfish? I don’t think so, I’m reminded of a childhood that was, I reminisce of the pain-filled life I left behind, and I look to a brighter future with my Lord by my side and Him whispering to me saying, “he (my father) heard the last poem you wrote, as did I, I am well pleased.”

Yes, He always talks to me like that. Always has and always will! The stroll down memory lane will end for now as I head into my future with my Lord and I walking hand-in-hand. 

Pss. 16:11 “Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”

Poetry Sunday ~ Memory Lane

4 Ezra 4:40 (Hebrew bible) “And I took it, and drank: and when I had drunk of it, my heart uttered understanding, and wisdom grew in my breast, for my spirit strengthened my memory:”

Memory Lane

Strolling down memory lane

I peel the years away

It’s all I can do to find the pain

And heal the years at bay

I remember childhood wonders

And how they came to being

With all the plights and plunders

Is what my mind is seeing

Reeling from the hurt-filled past

A life that no one knew

Into years my rod was cast

The good ones were but few

With all the bad that shaped me

The good was carved in stone

A haunted past I had to flee

My choice to stand alone.

A home in God is what I found

As truth and Light felt right

By days of old I’ll not be bound

I’ll soar the star-filled night.

On This Day

1 Cor. 15:2 “By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain.”

On This Day

On this day last year my dad passed away. This week has been a culmination of tears and memories leading me down memory lane. Every phone call to my mother this week has been of her rehashing the weeks that led to the final week which led to the day that my dad passed. I sat and listened allowing her to let out her grief so maybe she would find solace.

She tells me over and over again how my brother in Tennessee is still taking it hard and he let’s her know repeatedly how much he misses my father. Then there is the story of my sister who (now has his car) is driving around with a picture of my dad on the dashboard and how she wears the memorial necklace ALL the time.

I haven’t heard from ANY of my siblings since my dad passed. The last call to my brother was last year when he said, as we ended the call, to stay in touch and I did try, but as you can imagine he has his own family and doesn’t really have anything to do with any of his siblings anymore. There comes a time when the letdown is not worth the pain attributed to the lack of communication from siblings.

I can’t handle people saying over and over, “But that is your family; your blood.” I only have one dear friend who told me to just let them go and move on, the pain is not worth it, and he’s right. 

These past thirteen years haven’t been the easiest on me but I feel a peace here I’ve never had in my entire life. I feel loved; possibly for the first time an unconditional love that I only thought existed in fairytales. This time it is real because I feel it in my bones, in every essence of my being!

This week has been a stroll down memory lane. Many of the memories I’ve buried and plan to keep there but some memories good or bad surface like hot springs bubbling in anticipation of an explosion; none of which I’ll let come to fruition because I’m all about healing.

The bitterness inside will have to wait to eat away at me because this peace I feel now will not be ruined by any kind of confrontation and where my family is concerned, a simple chat is always a confrontational debate. 

Everybody grieves differently and while I wake and think about my dad daily, I don’t cry on a daily basis because I know he is at peace and don’t want us carrying on. I have to admit the only regret I have is not seeing him before he died and well, I’ll carry that with me to the grave but I’ve already told my mother that I won’t be coming back for her funeral either, not out of disrespect but out of love. After she leaves this earth, there will be not a thing tying me to that crutch of a place that tried strangling me to death all those years. She said she understands.  

That’ll be just another reason for my family to justifiably disown me and I’m okay with that since I’ve come to terms with my not being able to return. I’m at peace knowing I can move on in life alone but not ALL alone, I do have family here that has embraced me like their own and I have the most loving and understanding Heavenly Father.

So while I grieve on the one-year anniversary for my father’s death, I’m at peace knowing he is at peace and no longer suffering. While my family is back home living with regrets of what did or didn’t happen in their life, my only regret is not seeing my dad alive, one last time. And if I don’t get to see my mother one last time alive, I’ll deal with that regret when it happens. Until then… my poetry is what bound them to me eternally. 

Luke 1:79 (KJV) “To give light to them that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.”

Infinite Love

Isa. 60:15 “Whereas thou hast been forsaken and hated, so that no man went through thee, I will make thee an eternal excellency, a joy of many generations.”

Compartmentalize

God is not religion. Man is the owner of the compartmentalized term ‘religion’ that they placed God into. In Genesis when the world was breathed into existence from a vast void in space, there was no religion. God spoke to men and that is when they began building a religion to suit their needs. 

Diversified- man grew to separate because as humans always do, they each see things differently. God told man not to worship false idols but sure enough man has built worlds of religious artifacts/idols to worship and in essence loses the intention of the Supreme Being and all He had wanted for mankind.

When I read that someone don’t believe in religion they only believe in man and nature. What exactly are they saying? Personally, I don’t believe in man. Man has worked for millennia to shape and construct religion and it has gotten them nowhere but in the center of war.

To ME, in my happy little world, the only thing I compartmentalize is love, there is no room for hate and thus my life in a bubble is my own, apparently. Love has shown me inside the mechanizations of the stellar space out there in the cosmos, love has shown me the inside of miracles and how they work. Love has carried me into a world where I kiss the Light of the Lord on a daily basis.

I often thought myself to be crazy and sometimes people are the ones that made me feel a wee bit insane but as I love to read and write, I see that some of the great philosophers, artists, writers and poets were all in the same thought of mind as I find myself. I’m not alone in the happy little bubble I find myself in, I am in great company with the Masters of times gone by. 

Yes, my thoughts are sometimes crazy insane but they are brought to you by the magnificent wonders of light and love. It takes a pretty strong SANE mind to stand naked in front of the Lord and shed all inhibitions and little boxes that man is so famous for creating. To humble oneself you must strip yourself of all ties that lead to anger and hate and there is where you’ll find yourself in the presence of the infinite Love of God. 

I can understand why men say they don’t believe in religion but to say they don’t believe in God is unfathomable in MY mind. Religion is the compartmentalized box that man has placed God into and if any of you know OF God, you know you cannot put Him in a box? He is EVERYTHING! He is infinite! He is ETERNAL!

John 12:25 “He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.”

When you look at a leaf, do you see a simple leaf or do you see the veins running through the leaf? Do you think of the branch that the leaf fell from or do you think of the tree? The veins of the leaf are fed by the veins of the tree as the tree sucks nutrition from the earth which the earth receives its nutrition from God. 

Our veins running through our body are nourished by the food we feed it. The veins in our brain are nourished by what we put into our brain. What you physically put out into the world is the you that YOU shaped yourself to be. If all you see is hate in the world I believe your brain is malnourished of nutrients. 

Our body was made to receive our nutrition from God but again, man put little compartments up so God can fit neatly into his life. Where you find compartments you find walls. Walls are built so the little compartments stand up stronger against wind and chaos. God can knock down those walls of anxiety, depression, angst, and hate but he needs YOU to nourish your body with Him so the waxed walls start to melt like a lit candle. 

What I’m trying to say is that man is depleting the world of God. One by one, nutrition is being drained from the veins of life. You might say to yourself I am only one person, what can I do? Well, bring the Living nutrition into your life and send bits and pieces into the world via positive fruit of the Vine!

Yes, we all fall, we all do wrong and make bad choices but we need to be aware of the bad and wrong choices so that the only thing we send out is LOVE! Infinite LOVE!

Rom. 1:20 “For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:”

It Affects The Whole

Job 34:13 "Who hath given him a charge over the earth? or who hath disposed the whole world?"

What you say and do affects the whole!

When someone says, “Oh that don’t affect me.” I seriously believe they are lying to themselves. I try to say I won’t let all of this negative barrage of false information affect me but it has me feeling like a scrambled egg in a hard-boiled world!

I took a much-needed break last week from writing BECAUSE the negativity is wearing me down! I had a cold on Saturday; I call it my once a year cold because I only get a cold once a year. I didn’t get it when Steven had his a month ago but Adam was off of work for his cold and well THAT is the cold that latched onto me like a leech to fresh skin.

With all the negative mudslinging and me trying to get away from it, the cold snuck up on me, sank in and had me feeling not too well so I, the woman who never rest, rested! A much-needed rest from writing and playing into the hateful hurtful hands of a society gone mad.

It can’t be just me but when I was being raised I distinctly remember being told not to talk about money, religion, or politics. The Social Forums have become my ancestors’ worst nightmare where people actually think that THEY can change your mind by filling the newsfeed with HATE!

I’m not force-feeding my Native American friends my religious views nor me their Spiritual views. We have a mutual respect for one another. So why can’t political views be the same? Why the force-fed inundating hate-filled political views? And we wonder why we have such lousy choices to choose from? People, young and old, male and female cannot be civil beings and respect one another, that’s why!

You cannot change my view on abortion by showing me a late term abortion where a living baby is being pulled (yanked) out of a woman and tossed in the trash! Especially after hearing amazing stories by amazing women about choices that had to be made, and they chose wisely! Another friend was told by the DOCTOR (as happens more than YOU know) to abort her baby and she CHOSE to listen to her instincts and not to!

You cannot make me become a republican by trashing the democrats and vice versa! Do you honestly feel you’re HELPING an already destructive warpath? You’re NOT! You’re adding fuel to the fire and I consider you walking merrily with Satan hand in hand looking like a family. A family that hates together stays together!

Why am I talking about this with you? Because your negative infectious antics have AFFECTED ME! I’m sick, I’m tired, and I just want to write about the blessings that this world has and all anyone can do is rant about what they hate in the world. It has literally made my body susceptible to a normally fought off cold!

People are deleting long time friends, people are arguing over the who’s right and who’s wrong in society, cyber attackers are taking down websites, and  scary clowns are turning fun happy clowns into something sinister. Do we really think this is going to end after the November elections are over? I’m afraid not my friends, this is the beginning of the end and I’m going to be off in my own little world with my happy thoughts thanking my Lord for saving me from the chaos about to ensue. 

God be with you all! 

Heb. 2:4 “God also bearing them witness, both with signs and wonders, and with divers miracles, and gifts of the Holy Ghost, according to his own will?”

Miracles Do Happen!

Pss. 40:3 (KJV) “And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD." 

Miracles Do Happen

Five years ago my husband regained his eyesight. You might say it was the doctor who did the cornea transplant but it was way more than just a doctor that put the entire puzzle together to make it work; no, there was a miracle involved from a Higher Power, that’s right, God!

I don’t think blindness is anything you or I could take on easily, sure maybe we think we could but do a test, put a blindfold on for a day and try walking, showering, eating, cooking, all the things we take for granted become magnified.

My hubby went blind gradually, I knew the day he called and asked me to drive him to work after his attempt failed, something he’d done effortlessly for the six years we lived in Texas. The night before, we had been hit with a straight-line wind storm. If you don’t know what that is, it is not much unlike a tornado but forecasters designate it straight line winds because no funnel clouds are present, but the winds are disastrous.

With downed power lines, misplaced roofs and debris scattered in the roads, detours were everywhere making my hubby’s trek into work more difficult; he called me. Fast forward a few weeks and a doctor visit showed he was in need of cornea transplant surgery, again. This time the need was more serious because both eyes were in need and failing. Now jobless and no insurance we needed help, a miracle if you will.

Texas was no longer an option, as the extra help we desperately needed would never come. We had to move to Nebraska where his loving family was and we’d make a new start, blind, penniless, and basically homeless we arrived in Nebraska to the help we needed and then some! 

His family was immensely helpful in this transition from his brother, sister-in-law, and nephew, all missing work and coming to Texas to load us up for the move, to the family in Nebraska waiting to unload us when we arrived. When we finally did arrive, there was food in the cupboards (donated by his mom’s church Gibbon Baptist) as well as an envelope full of money for the basic necessities we’d need. 

Would this blessing train end there? Of course not; month after month for two and a half years the blessings poured in like a dam had burst! The only minor setback was Medicare saying he’d have to be blind for two years before they would pay for a cornea transplant. Well, that’s not too bad you might say but let me remind you, during these two years his corneas were continuing to deteriorate.

When I’m told to patiently wait on the Lord, I’m reminded that everything is in His time and not MY time. I wanted this blindness over and done with now not in two years, but we waited; sometimes patiently and sometimes not so much. By the time we finally received the Medicare we were comfortably accepting he may never be seeing again. Finding a doctor was a challenge because hubby wanted to listen to his mother and uncle when I was clearly pointing him in the right direction. But it took two refusals from other doctors for him to finally go to the doctor I picked in the very beginning.

The doctor was perfect, the transplant was perfect his sight was restored but his one eye was too far gone (thanks, medicare!) and he had to have it removed. A blessing, you ask, to lose an eye? Well, let me tell you, the good eye that received the cornea was being infected over and over because of the bad eye. Do you lose both eyes or lose one eye and keep the good one? Think about that. 

This is where the many, eight-hour round trips to Omaha were doing damage to my back. Sitting for hours, sometimes in high winds or thunderstorms and driving for eight hours with tiny stops, sometimes twice or three times a week did my back in and I lost my ability to walk normal. Was it worth it? I would do it over again in a heartbeat! The miracle of sight is more important than my petty walking ability.

His mother said she could make the trip to Omaha in two hours (remember she LIVES here in Nebraska and has made the trip NUMEROUS times) I’m a native Baltimorean coming from Texas and not used to HIGH winds and doing seventy-five miles per hour to somewhere I’ve never been. So, I let her take him one time and yeah, it took her about six hours. (not four)

The damage to my back was done; no return and I sometimes feel bitter when someone says, “Oh the problem was there all along.” Maybe it was but the long driving spells were what irritated my back enough to finally fail, and that’s the truth of the matter! I’ve lived it and we survived it and the miracle I’m still here and he is still seeing is a package of wrapped blessings with all the frilly bows and ribbons on top!

You could say that this was all coincidence that everything worked out the way it did but I’ve NEVER believed in coincidence. Everything down to the letter happened the way it was supposed to happen and for a reason. Miracles DO happen! I wait with patience to unravel the bows to see the reason although I have faith everything was for the best.

In the midst of heartache and heartbreak we can never see the reason for anything but once you stand back and look at the full picture instead of looking at an unsolved puzzle, you’ll see the beautiful landscape of truth and reason unfold into a blessed miracle.

Heb. 2:4 “God also bearing them witness, both with signs and wonders, and with divers miracles, and gifts of the Holy Ghost, according to his own will?”

Poetry Sunday ~ Autumn Trees

Pss. 96:12 “Let the field be joyful, and all that is therein: then shall all the trees of the wood rejoice.”

Autumn Trees

Flaming fire of autumn trees

Lights the sky with ample ease

Flowing like a river stream 

Catches on the sunrise beam

The open orange of autumn trees

Catches light on mornings breeze

Drifting down with somber sound

Leaves now whimper on the ground

Amber glow of autumn trees

Whispers sounds of rolling seas

Brilliant hint of heavens door

Hues abound of winters lure

Radiant red on autumn trees

Winter waits with summer tease

Vibrant color mornings gold

Frost unveils the seasons cold

Wait On The Lord

1 Cor. 2: 4 “And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power:”

Wait On The Lord

Waiting on the Lord requires no rocket science, it requires a faith in the unknown like no other belief.  Faith alone will not guide you into the hands of the waiting Lord when eternity comes your way, faith alone is like having a tree with no leaves. You have the solid trunk (faith) but without leaves, you’re left feeling naked among men, and to many, that’s not a pretty sight.

A part of waiting on the Lord is preparing. Preparing and being prepared for the day He arrives when your naked tree is looked upon by Him. Did you tend the tree? Did you give it the utmost care and nurture it so it would grow? Then why does it have no leaves? Don’t tell me it’s fall, either! 

We are being attacked in our daily lives by satan himself. He’s present in our negative thoughts, gives us nasty scenarios to distract us from the Lord and your tending of the tree. If your tree is naked you more than likely have fallen victim of satan without even knowing it. You’ve tried to tend the tree (your faith), you’ve kept vigil by being true to His word, but you allow what you think is good and right into your world not knowing you’re doing battle with satan and losing even some small connection to the bark of the tree.

1 Cor. 10:3-6  “And did all eat the same spiritual meat; And did all drink the same spiritual drink: for they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them: and that Rock was Christ. But with many of them God was not well pleased: for they were overthrown in the wilderness. Now these things were our examples, to the intent we should not lust after evil things, as they also lusted.”

We allow our strong faith to be swayed by the lusts of this world. That is where many people go wrong in their walk, they’re easily swayed not fearing the Lord or satan for that matter. I sometimes think people believe in God but not satan. Well, let me just say, if there is good there is also evil. They both walk and talk spiritually to lure but one sits in the midst waiting to devour you with pleasures that will lead you away from the righteous path. Demons, satan's followers -the third that were cast out of heaven and were denied the chance to be born on this earth are among the living. Spiritual forces -both good and evil- permeate this existence

When people say they are believers and followers of Christ, how can they NOT believe in satan? Especially when the Bible states that Jesus cast out demons. Is that a lie? Was that just folly to scare us? I’m not one to dwell in the dark hemisphere and I try not to bring any bit of darkness to this world that hasn’t already touched me in some way shape or form. 

Rev. 12:9 “And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.”

To wait on the Lord, the demons inside you must be cast out. There is a way to be rid of the darkness and that is trusting in the Lord solely for whatever you choose. Do you choose hate over love? Do you dwell in darkness instead of Light? 

Proverbs 3:5-6 (KJV) “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

With ALL thine heart does not mean a portion of it, it means ALL of it. Sometimes you’ll feel queasy because satan is tugging at you but you need STRENGTH in the Lord so He can and will direct your path.

This month is Creepy Movie month in our household where we watch creepy scary movies. I like tales of ghost hauntings (Haunted Honeymoon, The Others, The Sixth Sense) but I despise demon possession (Exorcist, Conjuring) for a reason no one would understand without calling me a freak but I normally draw the line on those demonic types of movies. 

We take turns picking a movie and the month has been going pretty good with movies like The Addams Family, White Noise, (animated) Monster House, Awakening, The Haunting, just good fun creepy movies.

Last night hubby’s pick went south, too far south for me, the movie The Conjuring was about demon possession and I don’t think even he knew it was that blood-curdling scary. But then again he’s never experienced such a thing, his family kept a well-guarded shield of Christianity around the family spanning generations. 

Going a little off topic here (I’m sure it will circle back to Waiting on the Lord) but I don’t know how my hubby and I were even brought together except for that of a Higher Spiritual force! My upbringing, I was always enmeshed in ghost stories. When I was three years old (or younger) I REMEMBER a black cat circling my crib waiting to pounce on me before jumping out our second story window. Mother said we never owned a cat at the time, Hmm. Then my older siblings thirteen and eleven owned a game called Kabala that they thought their little three-year-old sister would like to see. My life was shaped all the way up to ghost stories from my aunts to I myself owning a ouija board. The paranormal was just a part of my upbringing.  My only saving grace was the attendance of Catholic school which in a way brought MY own shield of protection. 

Hubby was raised in a Baptist family where they attended church regularly, bible school weekly, and summer camp yearly. They played cards and normal board games and when I asked had he ever owned a ouija board he said no. They didn’t tell ghost stories (lest it be about the Holy Ghost) and they didn’t meddle in the paranormal. As he grew he had a season where he turned AWAY from God and church whereas I turned TO God and the church. I have to say we’re a 50/50 couple. We’re fifty percent alike and fifty percent different from one another. I guess that’s why it works for us in this season of our lives.

I had a friend recently comment, “I know I don’t wait on the Lord the way I should.” My reply was that there is no certain way that one, ‘waits on the Lord’. We all go through different seasons in our life and our experiences whether good (hubby’s) or bad (mine) will shape what we become and how we wait differently on the Lord.

God Himself decided to reach down and mold me into who I am today, while others might not have FELT the hand of God and had to seek and find Him first before they could THINK of waiting on the Lord. I will not stop my Creepy Movie month of watching movies because, in all honesty, it is the season we put to rest all that has shaped the year. With these movies, I can reflect on how far I have come, while hubby can see the season he missed. You know what I mean?

Exodus 13:10 “Thou shalt therefore keep this ordinance in his season from year to year.”

Time In A Bubble

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Time in A Bubble

“Time changes everything except something within us which is always surprised by change.”  ~Thomas Hardy

Here I sit in an isolated bubble of my own making. I like to think outside the bubble but seriously I feel safer in here and protected by the walls of Christ I’ve built around me that nothing can seemingly penetrate.

Four very important words in your life are love, honesty, truth, and respect. Yes, I know there are many more important words but these four keep me in my bubble. You know why? Because not many people can handle the truth or honesty and I do believe that it earns me respect and love. 

Often I’m labeled ‘weird’ for my intuitive insights but I’ve never allowed it to cloud my judgment when sizing up a person, place or thing. Instead, I let my mind and all of its beautiful intuitive qualities lead me into a greener pasture where no one dares to go.

“Be the reason someone believes in the goodness of people.” I couldn't make out the name of the author who wrote this quote but I’m certain different people have said it many different times during many different eras. This could be my mantra that I dangle in my little bubble. I want people to see a goodness in me and I want that to be one of the reasons they share their goodness with others. 

I was so unlike myself yesterday, waking in a grumpy mood and staying there all the way through the horror movie, The Shining! I rarely watch movies with foul language and nudity, not because I’m better than anybody but it is my preference not to put myself through such a demeaning show of the controlling display that Hollywood/media has gripped the world with for years. But I love a good creepy movie.

But I’m telling you, I woke in such a mood yesterday, I don’t know how my family could stand being around me! First, living out on a farm we’re inundated by flies! We’ve gone through about five or six boxes of fly strips (that has ten strips in it) this season alone. They are getting so aggressive with the weather changing I could swear they were beating holes into my door to gain entry. We’re not talking a fly here or there, we’re talking waking up to at least fifty scattered around on the ceiling and throughout the day, hundreds making their way in the slightest opening of the doors. I won’t put the fly strips in the kitchen and living area but they work back in the laundry area. I’m talking thousands of flies, enough to drive any human insane! My outside wall looks like an animated moving wall!

Then there are the instances that have taken place over the weekend that are also driving me mad. I won’t mention names, I’m not a political person, I just live in my little bubble that I feel is going to burst come November 9th, if you get my meaning. Until then EVERYONE (but maybe one or two) is on a venting WAR PATH! This is so ridiculous I want to seal my bubble with crazy glue so nothing can pop it! Let me tell you, the anger SEEPS. 

Have you ever heard that you can’t unsee what you’ve seen? Well, that is what all the raging is doing to me, seeping into my bubble and I need to shrink into a tiny dishwashing bubble so no one can see the light I emit. They can’t have it! They will dirty the bubble and make me appear as scum. They are not going to make me despise and hate no matter how much they try! There’s really no place for fun anymore in the virtual world, people have all strangely morphed and not in a good way where I want to be around. 

Here's an interesting read from Max Lucado and what he says about Jeremiah. I never saw Jeremiah this way but thank you, Mr. Lucado, for shedding Light to this darkened world and helping me to see things from a wise and different perspective. Thank you.

Romans 8:28 “In everything God works for the good of those who love him” 

I believe I will wake November 9th  and either way this whole clown (literal and figurative) fiasco will be over and my God will still be the Sovereign King of my heart and soul! My bubble won’t burst and I’ll live happily ever after. I will have a clear conscience and feel GOOD about my verbal, mental and physical choices I’ve made this entire election year as well as my entire life!

Prov. 2:9-12 Then shalt thou understand righteousness, and judgment, and equity; yea, every good path.

 When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul;

 Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee:

 To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things;

Running On Fear

Pss. 40:3 “And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD.”

Running on Fear

They said it was coming, they announced life or death. Catastrophic they claimed, live or DIE they heralded. It came, it went, flooding and downed trees and plenty of power outages. The over hype of hurricanes, tornadoes and earthquakes have been instilling fear for years as the forecasters use their state of the art technology to give you a so-called accurate prediction.

I personally like the names like Storm of the Century or Snowmageddon all to hype fear or to save lives? How many of you have a smoke alarm in your house? How often does it go off when you burn toast or boil water? Would you get rid of it because of its annoying over-hyped warning of impending doom or do you keep it for that one time it might just save your life?

People left their homes only for them to be burglarized. Stores were boarded up and yet were looted by the thugs who see storms as an open opportunity to pillage property. It’s not enough that these people might lose everything to a devastating storm but to be robbed when they’re told to run to safety? And we wonder why people stay behind to ride out the storm? People would rather die than lose everything they own to criminals.

For some reason this makes me think of centuries past when Moses told the people to wait for him to receive God’s word and the people acted like animals instead of having the patience to ‘wait on the Lord’. People live in a selfish little ‘it’s all about me’ world and nothing can override the necessity of sanity and control.

The world is all about taking advantage. Taking advantage of people and situations has become the norm to the point I wonder why I wake up in the morning to face this catastrophic downfall of the human species. I like to think that I’m waiting on the Lord but then I think, am I fooling myself? Everyone else is out there one-upping the next guy and I’m sitting here waiting on the Lord? 

It’s like the smoke alarm, is it worth it to just wait until it is really needed to see its worth? Or do you just get rid of it after the first pan of over-cooked bacon sets the thing blaring? To ME, the Lord is worth the wait. With all the glaring signs of impending doom, with all of the people out to get something for nothing, with all of the people complaining because the forecasters over hype of a devastating storm that wasn’t, I’m happy to be that one rare jewel in the bottom of the ocean, waiting on the Lord to finally take His stance.

Fear is making a resounding play on the hearts of man. Let out the thundering signs, cry out the uproarious impending doom, and ring out the forceful warnings. One day as you’re sitting in silence waiting you’ll be glad you patiently waited on the Lord instead of being filled with fear.

“Patience, that blending of moral courage with physical timidity.” 

~ Thomas Hardy ~

Poetry Sunday ~ Dry My Tears

Pss. 6:6 “I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears.”

Dry my Tears

The sun slants over the horizon

Fears in the night fall asleep

A new day dawns of which I wake

Darkness slides into the deep.

Tears they dry by mornings' breath

I dare not tell a soul

My heart it hides a rhythmic beat

Broken body bears the toll

Silence slithers in morning mist

Unspoken words decay

Alone am I on desolate land

Dried are tears I face the day

Frost it hides from rising sun

Scattered is the cold

It is with Light I dry my tears

Amid the mornings gold.

Pss. 116:8 “For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.”

The Beginning of the End

Matt. 24:10-11 “And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another. And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many.”

The Beginning of the End

I don’t normally go off topic but Monday I did an NFL post about the entire franchise smelling like a manure farm. Today I’m not going too off topic but I rarely, meaning never, do a political post and this is more about the end being so close I can taste the bitterness swirling in my mouth and people need HOPE.

I’ve noticed that people who were all in and about the political arena, meaning friends, that sit back and use the social media as a political platform to state their views, have all but been silenced by the lack of someone running that they can actually get behind.

Now that it has been narrowed down to two people, no one wants to put their voice behind them for fear of being laughed and scoffed at in the social arena. Some are standing by their party; some are sitting quietly in the background picking on the other party, I guess so that they appear involved but from afar.

The entire fiasco reeks of the beginning of the end. Some will say the end has been happening for years now, some will state facts (chuckles) that they KNOW the end is here, where me, I’m going on my instincts and what they are telling me and it doesn’t feel right, I can tell you that.

A few years ago there was talk of Martial Law. I’m not a political person so I laugh at the mere mention but I do not laugh when all the scoffers are laughing at the Bible and calling it a book of fairy tales. 

I find it quite amusing that the non-believer can call it a book of fairy tales when I have never in my life read a book that has been so accurate in foretelling the future than the Holy Bible. There was 400 years of time that passed between the book of Malachi and the beginning of Matthew. Upon reading this (same link as above) you can see the ‘so-called fairy tale’ take on more shape and meaning.

Prophecy has been around for centuries and while some don’t want to believe that we’re living in the end times all they would have to do is read the Bible to see what prophecy says about the end times. While I’m not a prophet nor claim to be, I’m a writer and as such I dig and dig as I research a project to bring you the most informative (information I’ve gotten) information I find, and most of it agrees with my views. Granted, your truth and research might find something completely different.

Age of the Earth: 

Did you read the link – Temple Mount? I read the entire thing and this paragraph stuck out to me as what I am trying to convey here. 

“It is amazing how God utilizes history to work out his purposes. Though we are living in the days that might be termed "the silence of God," when for almost 2,000 years there has been no inspired voice from God, we must look back -- even as they did during those 400 silent years -- upon the inspired record and realize that God has already said all that needs to be said, through the Old and New Testaments. God's purposes have not ended, for sure. He is working them out as fully now as he did in those days. Just as the world had come to a place of hopelessness then, and the One who would fulfill all their hopes came into their midst, so the world again is facing a time when despair is spreading widely across the earth. Hopelessness is rampant everywhere and in this time God is moving to bring to fulfillment all the prophetic words concerning the coming of his Son again into the world to establish his kingdom. How long? How close? Who knows? But what God has done in history, he will do again as we approach the end of "the silence of God."”
~ Ray C. Stedman

We are at the most hopeless point in U.S. history. There has never been an election where BOTH parties were so unfit for the job they wish to undertake. Are we living in the Beginning of the End? Judge for yourself. In my opinion, no choice you make this election year is the right choice. God has purposed it this way and your vote is… the Beginning of the End.

May God be with you all!

2 Cor. 6:2 KJV  “(For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I succoured thee: behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.)”

2 Cor. 6:2 NIV For he says,“In the time of my favor I heard you,

    and in the day of salvation I helped you.”

I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation.

NFL ~ Losing Its Glory

NFL ~ Losing Its Glory

1 Cor. 9:24 “Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain.”

I used to enjoy football. Growing up, my dad would sit perched on the edge of his seat roaring mad at interceptions and cheering for the touchdowns. All the way up until a few years ago when his anger at the game would almost cause him a heart attack, more times than not, in the end, he would just check the score of the game. 

He was a big Baltimore Colts fan and he was a college football fan too, he loved Notre Dame! In later years he became a Ravens fans but was really saddened when the institution of football took on a new low. It was no longer, or so it seemed a sport.  

He remembered the days it was about football; playing in the elements like snow, rain, heat and cold. The men in those days were not thugs and today that is what teams look like, nothing more than well-paid thugs. Back in the day players never received millions of dollars to play a game. I know, the cost of living has risen so they NEED to be paid millions.

The very first Super bowl was:

On January 15, 1967, the Green Bay Packers of the National Football League (NFL) smash the American Football League (AFL)'s Kansas City Chiefs, 35-10, in the first-ever AFL-NFL World Championship, later known as Super Bowl I, at Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles.

Over the years football has taken on a new edge of competitiveness and with all competition, there is bound to be cheating. I’m not saying there wasn't any cheating back in  the day but with the rise of technology, so has the rise in KNOWN cheating. Cheating scandals have risen over the years and I’m not pointing fingers at the ‘who did what’, the point is cheating is present, period!

I found it interesting to do some research on the History of the Super Bowl. 
When reading the story of the history of the first super bowl you can see that Vince Lombardi was very much the competitive spirit! I did find it interesting the WHY it is called the super ball, I mean, Super Bowl. 

“The big game was a thrown-together affair, hastily organized. It was, in some ways, an afterthought to the merger (AFL/NFL) agreement,” writes author Harvey Frommer in “When It Was Just a Game: Remembering the First Super Bowl.”

Did you see that? It was JUST A GAME! Currently, it is one big multi-million dollar GIMMICK sucking off a materialistic society that thrives on big sex-filled musical lip-syncing shows, big million dollar ads, big boobs, sex and titillation, oh and a BIG GAME to see who is better!

It saddens me to say that I am no longer a fan. I’ve watched football excitedly for at least thirteen years now and only in the past three or more years have I seen the shift. Weekly football took on an ad filled presentation. A game that should take an hour and a half dragged out for three hours because of the commercials lasting over five minutes! It took on the looks of gimmicky reality television. It now reminds me of the WWF in all its hokey grandeur.

Imagine, the very first halftime show was marching bands, rocket men, balloons, and pigeons! Imagine that. No foo-foo frenzy, no boob show, no tacky wardrobe malfunction, just marching bands!

History of Football

History of American Football

All in all, the history of the sport is steeped in brutality all the way back to 1600 before it was Americanized. And boy did we do what America does best, glamorizes murderers, wife beaters, child beaters and cheaters. 

And we wonder why the world is the way it is? I’m sure we can justify brutality all the way back to the beginning of time. Now we just pay for it in more materialistic ways. 

* What you just read was written in February of 2016 when I KNEW who was going to win the SuperBowl before it was even played, just as I KNEW the Patriots would win the 2015 Superbowl. I guess you didn’t find it odd that the Broncos money-maker of the franchise, Peyton Manning was retiring at this time and it was the 50th SuperBowl? 

Pss. 106:20 "Thus they changed their glory into the similitude of an ox that eateth grass."

The entire game was about Peyton Manning. While I myself am/was a Manning/Broncos fan and wanted to see them win, from the first throw I could tell, this game was picked to win BECAUSE of the Manning love. Fans bought into the entire show but it was obvious that ref calls were playing favorites.

The NFL is now whining because of a hashtag BOYCOTT THE NFL they think is having an adverse effect on viewership. It is that or the million dollar players sitting out the National Anthem because of a Black Lives Matter movement is sweeping the industry. They don’t take into consideration the fans are tired of all the scandals that circle the entire industry like vultures just waiting for the NFL to take its last breath.

Scandals, whether true or false HURT. Take for instance, Deflategate. The Patriots are an excellent team but I think people were suspicious of the franchise long before the scandal arose. Then there is the murderers, wife beaters, child abusers, you name it, the NFL takes players knowing full well of their bloody violent histories. The debate on the entire franchise cheating is not funny because it is US the fans that get hurt realizing we’ve been bamboozled. Controversy after controversy we’re supposed to sit idly by while being taken. 

I personally stopped watching last year when I sensed the refs were up to no good, only for it to be verified by the league and later swept under the rug all for the love of money. Nobody wants to see America’s pastime go down the toilet so it all gets rolled over like gum stuck to the bottom of a pew, it stinks! Ninety percent of Americans feel the NFL is rigged. 

And I haven’t even gotten started on the sleaze fest they call cheerleaders? Why women degrade themselves for money is still beyond me (men like it)! I didn’t post a link to cheerleading COSTUMES over the years because quite frankly, it made me want to puke. Search for yourself at your own risk.  I think I’ll end the post here because I could go on and on…oops…I think I did. 

God Bless America! We need all the help we can get!

Heb. 12:1 “Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,”