Monday, August 23, 2010

The Drama of it All...

1 Sam. 2:3 Talk no more so exceeding proudly; let not arrogancy come out of your mouth: for the LORD is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed.
What’s in a word? Okay jokesters, besides letters!

Words can hurt, heal, make you smile and even garner a chuckle. This weekend was full of words for me. I posted my quotations on Saturday, words that linger in my soul even after I’ve read them. Then I posted my poem yesterday that was an expression of how my heart felt after releasing my son into this big bad world, trusting in God to carry him.

I thought I’d pop over into my class and see what was going on with the students, who are in their sixth week and ready to post their last lesson. I was shocked, to say the least that someone was degrading me, again.

Last session someone came down hard on me for not being ‘more specific’ in my lesson tips. They went on and asked about my qualifications and other mean and hurtful things. So when this post was on my board yesterday after the long hard week of separation from Adam, I was stunned.

I’ve had such a good run at f2k this session. I’ve stayed out of many discussions, left the bad seeds to their own fruition, in hopes someone else would stand up and say, “Hey, wait a minute.”

Ron did not agree with my answer to a question back in the beginning of f2k. He chose NOW to berate, belittle and to me, come down pretty hard on me and he even dragged another person into his rant, speaking FOR that person mind you. The person in question quickly stated that they would not be a part of his crappola, and that I, joni, and benning were nothing but helpful to them.

I couldn’t believe it. Not again is all that I could think of. Granted I’m a dramatic person, I’m a writer and drama is an effortless release for me. I decided to go to the main board and turn in my resignation. Sure it is a volunteer position, but I just wanted Bob to know how sorry I was for bringing this to f2k. I would bow out quietly and be on my way.

Well hold your horses! The response was heartfelt pleas of, “Don’t go!” Bob wrote:

“You've been an integral part of F2K's success over the years. I'd also like to remind everyone that F2K Mentors volunteer their time to help aspiring and experienced writers. Though there will always be differences of opinion, no good can come from escalating it to a personal level. WVU's 15 year history is built on a foundation of common interests, tolerance, respect and more importantly, empathy toward our fellow writers; as we move into the new social format, other challenges will emerge, but they will strengthen rather than change these values.”

In other words. You’re STAYING! I don’t need to defend my opinion of a sentence. We all see things differently and feel things differently. I can disagree with you and you me, but don’t degrade me, I am too good a person for that kind of treatment.

Respect me, and I’ll respect you. Disrespect me...and I’ll still respect you!


Ro said...

Seriously?? Ugh.

You know, I used to be a moderator for a mental health website. I don't know how many times I wanted to throw up my hands and quit. I volunteered for that, why should I be treated that way? However they would have won had I quit. So I kept going.

When I went blind, I started getting phone calls from some of my favorite people on that site. They kept telling me it just wasn't the same without me. They couldn't run to me and ask for help and get a kind and diplomatic response. I still miss it.

Darned bad apples trying to ruin the whole barrel. That's all they are, bad apples. I hope you don't leave. It's part of who you are. You're a mentor, like I was a moderator. We love it, even with all the drama.

joni said...

Gosh, giving up mentoring would be like saying, "Here take my right arm, I don't need it."

One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch, girl. lol

I'm staying! :)

M. SUE said...

Well, Joni~ I'm stunned! But as my dear old uncle, now deceased, used to say, "I takes all kinds to make the world...and I guess they're all here!" (He's also the one who appeared in the family home one evening and said, "This is the READINGEST family I ever did see!") I am sure he would be honored if you chose to quote him on either or both of his statements, but that first one seems to fit the occasion!
One of my first thoughts was, "Maybe this man is having trouble getting his Lesson Six done so he is lashing out." Joni, a long time ago I learned if you could see into the life of the one who is doing his utmost to try to make you miserable, you'd likely see he has far more misery than he is giving. Whether that is a comfort or not, I'm not sure because at the time I am hurt, I am deeply hurt. Given time to THINK and really contemplate, I can even conjure up some compassion. Just remember, "It takes all kinds..." Is that a little smile I see starting to creep into the corner of you mouth? I hope so...

joni said...

Thanks for the smile Sue. I had just had a really bad week and was looking for some light at the end of the tunnel. So venturing into my room and seeing this man's spew on my board, hit me hard.

The writing community once again has held my hand and helped me to see this incident for what it really was. Ron is a seventy three year old man, my elder, and elders should be right all the time, right? :)

I prayed for him and yes I found compassion somewhere in there for him and as such I rose to tell all my friends, I'M STAYING!

As you can imagine, they were all very happy. :)

Hope to see you in WVU???? YAY! You made the leap! Woohoo!
Now THAT makes me happy!

M. SUE said...

Ah, yes, my Child, I have joined WVU...and just so you know, I will soon be...oh, can it REALLY be?...SEVENTY-ONE, so I am also SENIOR to you! Therefore, when I speak, you shall listen, right, kid? I'll try to not be terribly bossy although I must warn you I AM a control freak!
I am really thankful you will be at WVU; as little as I have been there, I know it would not be the same without having you and your influence around the place. I enjoy the comfort of knowing my Friend is around the halls somewhere and I am sure I am just one of many with that feeling.

Moonshooter said...

For what it's worth 'young un', last night (before I read this post) I signed up for the next f2k class in October. The class was the launching pad of my 'self-esteem' and helped my with my goal of being a writer. I'm 72, so you and everyone are proof that you 'can teach older dogs new tricks'.

From my experience, I found that what a person says to or about me tells me 'nothing about me' and 'everything about them'.

If they have a 'respect problem' they don't have enough for themselves in order to 'attack' in that way. I'm glad you'll be there.
We need you, Joni. You be the bestest. You are loved...even if the rude dude doesn't love himself.

joni said...

Thanks John,
I was nursing a wound and the man came and split it wide open.
I'm all healed now.:) Thanks to the love and support of my friends!!! :D

June said...

I'm glad you're staying! You belong with F2K and have helped many many many writers!


Marina said...

My husband thinks his opinion in an objective
All who disagree are stupid and uneducated; (
fundamentally the wrong approach
family law Toronto

joni said...

F2k is like my solace on a dark day. If I'm not helping someone I don't feel whole.

:) I'm moving forward! :)

joni said...

I don't normally release a comment to be published if it has a link in it. But since I'm an American and your link is Canadian (where one of my dear friends lives) I'll allow it.

And since hubby understands the drama of it all. I'll bite. ;)