Thursday, December 31, 2015

The Year Ends...A New One Begins

Jeremiah 29:11-13 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. 

The Year Ends… A New One Begins

Now that I have my shine back, I’m going to attack 2016 with a vengeance. I’m not one to make New Year’s resolutions because to me tomorrow is just the day we hang a new calendar. But I digress; it is a new year with a new number! 

The year that just passed was an odd number, an intermingled bad year with a good year. My marriage took place so I thought for sure the rest of the year was going to be a good one full of blessings galore. I see every day as a blessing no matter how down I am, so yeah, I had 365 days of blessings! I survived, what a blessing!

While in previous years I’ve always celebrated the New Year on Easter Sunday, this year is going to be a little different since I’m going to tackle the New Year on January 1st! Not only am I going to flip the calendar I’m going to flip my energy to a positive growth spurt this year and what better day than on the first of the year.

While I’ll still celebrate my spiritual New Year on Easter, the physical New Year will begin on the first of January leading into the new digits 2016. It is going to be a year of promise, hope, sincerity and truth. Even if death encircles me I will tackle the gloom like a linebacker with every ounce of force within my body.

I’m definitely going to make a comeback with my writing even if I have nothing to say but God Bless you, my challenge to myself is to awake every day with hope in my heart and words on my fingertips! Yeah, that’s a challenge seeing last year I barely wrote. Even if no one reads me, I’ll write to insure my sanity, as without writing I might as well be comatose.

This looks to be an exciting year with the aspect of a new president. I get to watch all my friends fall all over themselves as if stone cold drunk in the political postings of the day. I’ll watch as their year is consumed with hate of this, that and the other thing, all the while posting scripture to defend their stance. 

Facebook may have to become obsolete in the coming year as my fellow Americans make fools of themselves and not even being aware of what asinine behavior they are adhering to in the name of egotistical rights. Yes, we have Freedom of Speech, I just wish everyone could take a look at the dignity mirror and see if hate-filled spew is going to be a part of their year and whom they appear to be mirroring in the mess we call politicizing.

People assume I turn a blind eye to the happenings in the world but little do they know I CHOOSE not to consume my inner strength with false cares of the world. I choose to see the end product because let me tell you, we are all going to die and if your world is so consumed with the here and now, what is your eternity going to look like? 

Again, my new year will not be absorbed by the here and now, it is going to be focused on the end of me and what will become of my spirit in the hereafter.

When I go to bed at night I want to know that I feel good about myself inside and out. After spewing hate, do you feel good? That is temporal and will not carry you through eternity. Sure being consumed with the worldly might get you through the day and maybe that is who you are and you like who you are.

Does God participate in you trying to guilt people into a repost? 
Romans 12: 2 says:  “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” Does God participate in your life at all? 

2016 will be a new year and a new life for me and my participation in God himself will be the driving force behind an extremely good year because I WILL NOT be conformed to this sad world. 

My prayer journey will continue as in years past for change in the human psyche so that humans might be in touch with their spirituality so that they can release the negativity in the privacy of their own minds, not out in the open for the world to see. Because if WE see your evident hate, I wonder what God sees in you?

As you celebrate the ending of the old year and the New Year begins… celebrate life and the spiritual journey. Make a change that you can actually FEEL!

Be blessed in all you do! 


Wednesday, December 30, 2015

The Truth in Fiction

Pss. 143:5 “I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands.”

Are ya thirsty for more?

I’ve been reading that my posts are actually missed. Go figure! My breaks in writing have allowed me time to reflect and I think that is a good thing as long as I don’t dawdle there too long. I need to learn and grow from all I meditate on and this is what the coming year will bring to me in my endurance.

One of the main things I’ve learned this year is this: don’t believe everything you read. I’ve had to witness throughout the year people post over and over the things of years past already to be known as a hoax or untruths. People are so eager to put it out there that they don’t do the reality check that needs to be brought forth.

It’s not just in facebook posts that get me but what people read in fiction and call it ‘historical truth’. Take the DaVinci code for instance; people really saw historical truth in that book/movie of fiction? No wonder we have so many people/Christians confused with what to believe.

That’s another thing I’ve reflected on this year: truth! I’ve always listened to God’s word as truth but again it is my interpretation of God and the truth and no one else can claim MY truth. Granted Dan Brown, the writer, had some truth twisted in his words, it is to each their own.

“History is always written by the winners. When two cultures clash, the loser is obliterated, and the winner writes the history books-books which glorify their own cause and disparage the conquered foe. As Napoleon once said, 'What is history, but a fable agreed upon?”
― Dan Brown, The Da Vinci Code

So when someone says to me that they saw historical truth in that story by Brown, are they telling me that they believe in fables and that the bible is one of those fables? Yeah, so much on the net confuses me and that is why I only listen to the truth that God himself instills in my being and I don’t mean ‘the bible’ I mean GOD! I am conquering the enemy! I will only glorify the God in ME!

We all as a human race seek out a truth and some grab onto anything that rolls past them as it wobbles down the road. I’ve never been like that for some reason. This is why I say I am spirit-filled. I’m not fiction fable filled, I’m not media or political filled, and I’m certainly not filled with the ways of the world. It makes my skin crawl.

I do know one thing and that is satan was working overtime through Dan Brown. What better way to have people rethink or restructure their faith than to have a well respected writer convey a message and people buy it as historical truth! Way to go dark one!

I know what people missed in my posting and that is essentially they missed someone that they could relate to, someone who they understand and someone they could call a trusted friend. One thing I won’t fill your head with is lies and feed the blasphemous nature of the world.

I’ll give Mr. Brown this, he did say some interesting truth (mingled with the lies):

Truth: “Men go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire.”
― Dan Brown, The Da Vinci Code

What?: “Those who truly understand their faiths understand the stories are metaphorical.”
― Dan Brown, The Da Vinci Code Joni says: “My faith isn’t in a book of stories.”

Lie: “Faith ― acceptance of which we imagine to be true, that which we cannot prove.”
― Dan Brown, The Da Vinci Code Joni says: “I don’t imagine my faith to be true.”

Truth: “The art of a good writer is to stir up controversy”
~ Joni

Thanks Brown for giving me the image that DaVinci was seated at the Last Supper and could interpret what he saw thus painting what he believed he saw.

Thanks for giving me the image of Jesus having sex.

I’m so glad my spirit-filled nature, not my imagination, carries me higher than any of these controversial comical relief writers. I’m also glad that my writing isn’t filled with twisted truth, lies, deceit, puzzles and playthings. My truth, my faith, my PROOF is within ME and everyone has this capability but they are too busy tying themselves up in knotted lies.
p.s. As you can see, I had a real problem with this farce called fiction. But then again, that’s just me. P.s.s. I have a hard time not watching a Tom Hanks film. * wink *

My prayer for you this coming year: That you may taste faith on the tip of your tongue. That you may see your faith at work! That you may hear your faith in whispers of the wind. That your fingertips graze the faith you know is within YOU! May you know that your faith is PROOF enough!

God Bless you all!

1 Tim. 4:15 “Meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all.”

Tuesday, December 29, 2015


Job 3:4 “Let that day be darkness; let not God regard it from above, neither let the light shine upon it.”


This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine!

This is my decision as I head into a new year; I’m going to shine! The light in me shined a little in 2015 but I could feel it being dimmed. Saturated by circumstances my light was fading as the year was closing. I could feel the tug of war going on inside my soul and as I grabbed tightly to the light within my spirit, I felt it had diminished from a thick rope of strength to a small thread of nary any hope hanging out there in the darkness that I had a hard time holding onto.

The year began with a death (1-25), then yet another death (10-29) and is now being led out in chains with a death (12-14). Not a great year by any means. My candle had burned out, no more wax and no more wick to keep it going and I fizzled. It was as if someone came with wet fingertips and just doused the light that was left in me shining. By years end, I could shine no more. I felt like a deflated water balloon left over by kids of summer just lying in the grass. 

My Christmas day was spent with family and it was really the first time I had spoken about the tragedies of the year with someone other than my mother and my husband. I kind of felt good not just writing about it but also vocalizing about my dad, my aunt, and my uncle. When I woke up on the 26th of December I felt a small burning inside of me, a sensation of a new torch being lit by the match within.

I sat and wrote and by Monday the 28th my candle was fully lit, the flame burning high and a new sense of peace washing over me as if I had been reborn and given a second chance on life. The year of gloom that had hung over my head like a wet napkin was slowly falling apart and diminishing into nothing. I realized I had a light that NEEDED to shine, just a few more days.

Writing took a backseat as I wallowed in self-pity. Not that I had writers block or anything, I just didn’t feel like writing and when I did, none of it made much sense. This year I have had the least amount of posts in my blogging history! Well, no wonder my light was dim! Me without writing is like a baby without their security blanket. It left me feeling all whiney inside (sometimes outside)! 

Well let me tell you, my mother sent me one of the warmest blankets I’ve had in years. A security replacement? A warmth more penetrating than a roaring fire! Whatever it is, I feel like I’m coming back from a year long holiday, one that I didn’t take by choice, it was one that life threw at me, forced me into and asked me to just deal!

As the worst year of my life wraps up, I’m looking ahead and seeing a light shining in the not too far off distance, it’s quite close and appetizing to say the least. This little light of mine? I’m gonna let it shine! Let it shine! Let it SHINE! LET IT SHINE!

Godspeed my friends!

Prov. 4:18 “But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day.”

Monday, December 28, 2015

The End is Near ~ Part II

2 Cor. 2:9 “For to this end also did I write, that I might know the proof of you, whether ye be obedient in all things.”

By Monday morning the news blasted across the screen that there were “43 dead across seven states after a week of devastating storms, flooding and tornadoes.” And now we can add California too with a wildfire. We can’t blame terrorism for this one now can we?

We can sit comfortably at home and laugh the hardy har har and politicize this, we can scoff and chuckle at the terms “Global Warming”, “Climate Change” or El Niño but you cannot sit at home and deny that SOMETHING is happening! Or is all this just ‘normal’ weather patterns for you? Tornadoes in December? A blizzard in El Paso? Normal you say?

On Christmas day as we were driving home, we were bombarded by pellets. Not snow, not ice and not rain but pellets. I felt like I was in the middle of a packing war because they looked exactly like the packing material used when shipping something. It felt strange because just the week before we were basking in the fifty degree range. Yeah I guess that’s normal for Nebraska in December. I’ve been here almost seven years and haven’t come to know this as a normal December for Nebraska.

Another strange event happened on Christmas. We arrived home in time for the sky to darken as lightning streaked across the sky. No thunder just lightning. In strobe like fashion it blinked as if the earth was being short-circuited. I knew that on this Christmas there would be a full moon, the first Christmas full moon in 38 years, so it kind of felt like a phenomenal climax to the season; the kind you never remember having in your lifetime?

Many will politicize this, laughing at the politicians who tried to tell us what they thought was happening. Some will try Biblicism and call on Bible scripture to say LOOK, it is written! Scientists will shout out that they have been warning us for years and everyone just seems to laugh it off!

My take on this is, and I’m no scientist, I think WE as a human race have done this to ourselves! Our earth was dependent on us as a species to take care of the planet but no, we had to go and ruin it with our greed for more, more, more; more cars, more planes, more materials, more houses, etc. !!

I think the earth is at war with us! All of the having more of this and more of that is having a detrimental affect on us as a human race. Just as we have been infecting ourselves with poison ie: think cholesterol, alcohol, drugs, (legal or not) and thinking there are no ramifications, we are injecting the earth with a poison and now we are feeling the disease running rampant on our planet. 

Science can PROVE this but we sit back and laugh because we’d rather politicize it and place blame on OTHERS, not ourselves! We can be like Chicken Little and cry out, “The end is near, the end is NEAR” until we are blue in the face. Until you start taking seriously that the sky is falling and not doing something about it, then my friend, this IS the end… of TIME!

And the year is not over…yet.

May God humble you in these darkened days and may you see the Light that lies at the end of the tunnel. God bless you all!

Rev. 2:26 “And he that overcometh, and keepeth my works unto the end, to him will I give power over the nations:”

The End is Near ~ Part I

Pss.71:21 “Thou shalt increase my greatness, and comfort me on every side.”

The End is Near ~ Part I

Yes, that’s right, the end of 2015 is so close I can taste it watering in my mouth. After the tragic year I’ve had my tears have dried up for now, I’m not sure if it is temporary or not but I’ll go with God in prayer that He brings me out on the other end of a New Year!

My Christmas Eve was blanketed in grief and I realized how much I missed my mother and my father. With Dad gone on to better horizons, I knew the first Christmas would be the hardest but I had no idea my eyes had more tears left to give.

We had gotten word that as Steven’s aunt was driving down to Nebraska from South Dakota, she was run off the road by an eighteen-wheeler and her car was damaged, she wasn’t, physically. He didn’t stop to render assistance; he just kept on going. My goodness. My palm slapped my forehead, then my hands clasped together as I thanked the Lord for the chance to hug his aunt again.

I woke Christmas morning wanting to run to my mother and hug her but she wasn’t here, she was back home in Baltimore. I had to go on with this day and I knew I could make it; the one thing my father instilled in me was strength, and I would do it for him if not for anybody else.

Christmas day I found myself surrounded by family. This was my new family in marriage. Yes, they’ve been my family for 13 years now but this year they became ever more important to me. Sure I’ve always known that life can slip from our fingertips in the blink of an eye, but never more so than this year when I was hit with three prominent deaths in my family.

The aunt that was run off the road told me how ‘young kids’ stopped to help her. Her wheel was pretty damaged but they got it running enough for her to make it to Nebraska. I told her how I had prayed for her to have a safe journey and asked my angels to look out for her. She thanked me, she said “Oh they were there for sure!” At eighty years old you’d think she’d throw in the towel and stop these long trips but not her; I know we’ll see her again come Easter. She is one of the sweetest women I know! She reminds me of one of the nuns I grew up with in Catholic school that have a cherubic glow about them. That is her; she’s a Baptist, not a Catholic but she glows. Before I left to come home she touched my arm and said to me, “Could you ask your angels to watch me make the trip home?” She said that with such a warm gentle smile. I told her of course I would! (But in all honesty, I think she has her own angels surrounding her daily.)

I accepted the warm condolences of the family with watery eyes but not a full-blown cry. The love felt so comforting. I know cards and condolences have a special feel but a hug brings about a physical healing that I truly needed at this time.

My Christmas was full of contentment, love, sharing and caring! I’m not a person who brags and boasts of where I went and what I did or what I got; I feel like God doesn’t care about those material actions, He cares about what you FELT. Since God is LOVE, I was filled with love this Christmas and that means I got everything I ever wanted and all that I ever needed.

While the end of the year is drawing near and I DON’T make New Year’s resolutions, I anxiously await the calendar flip in earnest prayer! It WILL be a better year! It may also be a year filled with death and tragedy but I have the strength to push forward and move ahead and by God, that is just what I’m going to do!

Praise be to God!!!

Isa. 49:13 “Sing, O heavens; and be joyful, O earth; and break forth into singing, O mountains: for the LORD hath comforted his people, and will have mercy upon his afflicted.”

Saturday, December 26, 2015

Quotation Saturday ~ A New Year is Coming

Quotation Saturday


“We must become so alone, so utterly alone, that we withdraw into our innermost self. It is a way of bitter suffering. But then our solitude is overcome, we are no longer alone, for we find that our innermost self is the spirit, that it is God, the indivisible. And suddenly we find ourselves in the midst of the world, yet undisturbed by its multiplicity, for our innermost soul we know ourselves to be one with all being.” 
― Hermann Hesse

“Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground. Let their spirit ignite a fire within you to leave this world better than when you found it...” 
― Wilferd Peterson

“As I grow older, much older, I will experience many things, and I will hit rock bottom again and again. Again and again I will suffer; again and again I will get back on my feet. I will not be defeated. I won't let my spirit be destroyed.” 
― Banana Yoshimoto, Kitchen

“There is a LIGHT in this world. A healing spirit more powerful than any darkness we may encounter. We sometime lose sight of this force when there is suffering, and too much pain. Then suddenly, the spirit will emerge through the lives of ordinary people who hear a call and answer in extraordinary ways.” 
― Richard Attenborough


“We are not trapped or locked up in these bones. No, no. We are free to change. And love changes us. And if we can love one another, we can break open the sky.” 
― Walter Mosley, Blue Light

“In your light I learn how to love. In your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest where no-one sees you, but sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art.” 
― Rumi

“It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” 
― Mother Teresa

“If there's a thing I've learned in my life it's to not be afraid of the responsibility that comes with caring for other people. What we do for love: those things endure. Even if the people you do them for don't” 
― Cassandra Clare

New Year

Smiles from the threshold of the year to come, 
Whispering 'it will be happier'...” 
― Alfred Lord Tennyson

“A bridge of silver wings stretches from the dead ashes of an unforgiving nightmare
to the jeweled vision of a life started anew.” 
― Aberjhani, Journey through the Power of the Rainbow: Quotations from a Life Made Out of Poetry

“Let me give you a New Year message: Believe in yourself, because no one ever achieved anything significant without believing in himself and no one ever will! Believe in yourself powerfully, especially when there is no reason left to believe in yourself because the ultimate bottom is the best place to start a big rise!”
― Mehmet Murat ildan

“A year of ending and beginning, a year of loss and finding...and all of you were with me through the storm. I drink your health, your wealth, your fortune for long years to come, and I hope for many more days in which we can gather like this.” 
― C.J. Cherryh, Fortress of Eagles

This year has been long and sorrowful. My prayer for the New Year is that 2016 will be a better year, full of life and love! May the wind sweep across my face and breathe into me a new life, a new aspiration so that all of the world will be consumed in the love and Light I know to exist. God bless you all.
~ Joni

Monday, December 21, 2015

The Box

“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

The Box

It came without fanfare it came without ribbons and bows but it was the box that I was anxiously waiting for with memories of my father. It looked like any other box that comes in the mail, all wrapped in brown paper and taped beyond belief. I had quite a hard time getting into the box and it smelled kind of funny.

My mother had been building on my excitement the entire month when she said what was going to be in the box (minus my necklace) that still to this day has not been made ready by the funeral director!

This season has not been an anticipated season and to be honest, I’m quite down. I lost one of my favorite aunts in the beginning of the year and just last week I lost one of my favorite uncles, AND I lost my father at the end of October which is kind of putting a damper on my celebratory Christmas spirit!

My concern lies with my mother who is a brave ol’ soul enduring a lot and being a comfort to my aunt, her sister, in her time of need. Friday, the day of the funeral, I was supposed to go see Steven’s family and when Thursday came, I told him I just couldn’t do it in all good conscience. I was down and didn’t want to say anything that I’d regret. I couldn’t wear a mask and pretend all is right with the world when my world was crushed, my heart broken and my spirit in a quite stir.

My days on Facebook have halted for a spell because it is full of cheer and happiness. Can people REALLY be all that happy? It’s possible but I don’t know, I think they wear a mask over their sadness and make the world think they’re all happy as a horse. It could be my own sadness seeing things that aren’t there and that is totally possible too because I’m in a serious funk!

The box – it lifted my spirits on a day shadowed in death; it arrived. There was some good news and… some bad news. The good news was that it arrived! The bad news is that the Old Bay seasoning that my mother sent had been damaged, meaning in transit the lid popped off and splattered all over everything. The m&m bag was split open (shut up Benning) and Steven was a sport (the m&m’s were for him) ate for the first time Baltimore seasoned m&m’s!

She had put in there the funeral cards, some pictures, three lighthouses (for Adam), and two seasonal throws, one for me and one for Steven. They certainly gave new meaning to the SEASONal blankets, covered in Old Bay. Mind you that Old Bay is hard to come by out here in the midwest and that is why she sent it to me from Baltimore, land of the crab lovers.

Then my most prized possession that I was awaiting, the binoculars! These binoculars have sentimental value beyond belief! My dad acquired them from the shipyard he worked at over 40 years ago and they have been everywhere; Ocean City, Virginia, Pennsylvania, Florida, and of course Maryland. My dad treasured these naval binoculars.

I held them in my hand, while dusting off the Old Bay, and could feel my dad’s hands wrapped around them. I put my eyes to the peepholes (ouch) and just a little burn from the Old Bay but they were here, in my hand, in MY possession! Every child in my family wanted these but they were the first thing I asked for when I got the sad news my dad had passed.

After the arrival of the box, my mood swung from happy to sad and then happy then sad. I was and AM on a roller coaster of emotions and I want off! I felt sad that I had turned down a visit to see his family but in all honesty, it was for the best. We all walked away happy and that is truly what I wanted.

Now onto Christmas…

“Welcome, Christmas, bring your cheer. Cheer to all Whos far and near. Christmas Day is in our grasp, so long as we have hands to clasp. Christmas Day will always be just as long as we have we. Welcome Christmas while we stand, heart to heart, and hand in hand.” Dr. Seuss,  How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Monday, December 14, 2015

Shine On

Prov. 30:5 “Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.”


I will be the first to admit that this year has been a struggle to shine on in a world full of darkness. It began in the beginning of the year when a cloud overshadowed the month of January in the form of death, a beloved aunt.

Death is never an easy thing but it was especially hard for me since I couldn’t be back home with my family. I would muddle through the trenches of guilt, shrug off the feelings of incompetence and embrace the Light of the Lord as my strength to get me through yet another of life's crisis’.

Crawling my way out of the mire I saw a glimmer of light in the form of engagement then marriage. The feeling was so bright and felt so warm and good I thought I myself had died and been wrapped in Heavenly arms. 

The month of May would pass and the glimmer of light would dim; it would die a slow death in and of itself. I should have (maybe I did) know that this year wasn’t going to end well when the voles in my yard tore into my garden of flowers and destroyed them with what looked like hurricane force.

There went my Hollyhocks, my Zinnia, my Salvia of five years, my Bleeding Heart, my precious mums etc. etc.; the list goes on like Nebraska farmland. The bright side came to me when I thought, oh well there is always another year to come, but is there? I went on knowing my flowers were all dead for the season and I saw a little light in the beauty of a facebook friend who has an endless show of flowers; a smile, a glimmer of hope in this gloom.

Throughout the year my dad’s health was diminishing. By October he would be hospitalized and he would suffer a slow agonizing death. Again the guilt circled me like a vortex in the middle of the sea drawing me in and drowning me with no way out. I fought, I clawed and I searched breathless for a ray of hope. There was none to be found. 

Thanksgiving would come and I’d have to find a ray of light in the impending Christmas spirit, right? Wrong. The lighthouse of my life was gone; the pillar of strength that I looked to was out to sea sucked into the vortex. Left behind were fragments, souls and dread.

Last night when talking to my mother, she informed me that my uncle had three days to live. We cried as the rain pelted on the door and the winds rampantly blew. He had been battling cancer for years and it seemed licked two years ago when his ‘port’ was taken out and then it resurfaced with a vengeance. He is her sisters’ husband and as of today, 12-14-15 I got the dreaded phone call that I knew was coming…he died. Cancer is what sucked him into the vortex called death. Cancer is what will cling to my cousins and aunt around Christmas and for years to come. Cancer has eaten too many of my relatives. How do I fight such a dismal prognosis? Maybe with the only Light that I know; the only Light I trust to get me through these dampened darkened days?

Then there’s the celebratory feasts that we’re obligated to attend. We were invited to his mom’s house on Friday the 18th. We had to sadly decline because hubby has to work a long day, but we were guilted into going by his sister. You know how families have that guilt trip stuff down pat! Who cares that you’re mourning? Who cares that you’re not in the mood to celebrate? Who cares that you’re not as happy as everyone else? Point blank: NO ONE!

Maybe it is what I need, to be surrounded by a family that actually loves one another. Maybe I need to see people laughing and enjoying the season. Maybe I need to be a part of a Mother’s wish in seeing all her kids together. Maybe it isn’t about my whining and ME. Maybe the season is about LOVE and seeing others happy. 

Maybe I’M the Light that they need to see shining through overcast skies.

MAYBE… I need to take up drinking again. (That was me trying to joke my way through pain!)

May God Bless you ALL and may YOU be a light shining on for someone to see!

2 Sam. 23:4 “And he shall be as the light of the morning, when the sun riseth, even a morning without clouds; as the tender grass springing out of the earth by clear shining after rain.”

Thursday, December 10, 2015

A Snowflake?

A Snowflake?

There was a snowflake that fell
On my nose without a smell
Cross-eyed I did look
It trembled and shook
It found a new place to dwell.

The snowflake began to squirm
It wriggled like a worm
It began to slip
Down to my lip
A snowflake I can’t confirm.

The thing began to tickle
Feeling kind of fickle
I blew in the air
Without a care
I seem to be in a pickle.

It came down in flight
What a beautiful sight
Unlikely weather
For snowflake not feather
A message on wings of white.

“Feathers appear when Angels are near.”

This is the poem I wrote for my mother, whom just lost her husband of sixty years. This is her Christmas present. I told her I’d write one that wouldn’t make her cry and I’m hoping I succeeded. I also put in the envelope a white feather. 
Comments are much appreciated. 

Pss. 91:4 “He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.”

Wednesday, December 09, 2015

A Not So Merry Christmas

Job 17:7 “Mine eye also is dim by reason of sorrow, and all my members are as a shadow.”

Well yesterday I wrote about people being offended by the term Merry Christmas, but today I’m going to write about the not so Merry Christmas. When I was younger I had joyfully wished an older woman a Merry Christmas. She blurted out, “It’s not so merry to me, I just lost my husband.”

I almost cried because I in no way meant to intentionally hurt her feelings but how was I to know she had just lost her husband? I know we don’t mean Merry Christmas as a bad thing but to others who are mourning a husband, or grieving the loss of a child or who are just alone at Christmas with no family, to them it is not a ‘Merry’ Christmas. We need to be sensitive to them, not because we want to be politically correct, but because we need to have a compassionate heart for people and what they might be going through during the Christmas season.

If someone was to wish me a Merry Christmas, I’ll just nod my head and say thank you and wish them one but only I know that this isn’t going to be the merriest of Christmas’ for me, it just isn’t. I’m definitely not going to blurt out, “I just lost my dad, what’s so merry about it?” 

My husband lost his father over twenty years ago and the death of his dad isn’t as fresh to him as the death of my father is to me. I’m not minimizing his loss in any way but he never talks about his dad or the love that they shared, it’s just a mute point. He still has his siblings and mother to share the season with and I have no one. I have his family, I know, but understand it just isn’t the same as hugging MY mother in her time of need.
My mother is back home going through the days of loneliness without me there and it is going to be a very sad Christmas for me not being home. This will be her hardest Christmas ever.

I’m not trying to bring anyone down with this post, by no means. I want to see people happy and celebrating the season for all that it is; a joyous season. Just because I’m not going to be decking the halls and prancing around singing Ho! Ho! Ho! doesn’t mean that you, if your truly happy, shouldn’t be celebrating the joy of the season.

This will be the first year that I write a solo poem for my mother for Christmas and I already told myself that it isn’t going to be a sad one that will have her crying and missing my father and also missing me being there. Nope, I’m going to try and write a sappy, funny limerick to make her smile! I’ll share it with you, my readers and see what you think of it before sending off, assuming I get it done in time. 

My mother already sent a ‘gift’ for Steven, Adam and myself but the real gift will be ‘The Box’! The box I am anticipating like a kid waiting for Santa. The box will be filled with memories of my father and just a couple items that he treasured. I long to hold a piece of him in my hand one last time, to allow the aroma of him to sink into my nostrils and know that he touched the items and loved them. It will be a tear-filled day for sure.

My mother was waiting for a necklace with my dad’s fingerprint on it to put in the box, which she bought from the funeral home, but it wasn’t ready so she’s sending me the box anyway and will send the necklace at a later date. She bought one for my sister and me, and my brother bought her one with my dads ashes in it that will be worn close to her heart where my father will always remain. 

So there IS some joy in my season yet to be had and that is feeling my dad close to me as I sit missing him. While many of my siblings are dealing with guilt of not knowing my father as well as they would have liked, I don’t have that guilt because in my heart I know we had a special father/daughter relationship where I told him I loved him, frequently when I called home. My last words to him were, “I love you, dad!”

Pss. 69:29 “But I am poor and sorrowful: let thy salvation, O God, set me up on high.”

Tuesday, December 08, 2015

Merry Christmas

“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, 
stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”
― Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

Do you remember the days when Christmas or saying Merry Christmas wasn’t questioned? No one ever thought of it as a religious holiday or even turned a side-glance in voicing the theory that Christmas was just a way to shove religion down other people’s throats.

Christmas was always celebrated as a season of giving, with lights and bows adorning houses, gleeful exchanges of Merry Christmas to one another, and toys, we can’t forget about the toys. 

It was a time of the year that families got together, exchanged gifts, ate good food and reminisced about earlier days of Christmas joys that were shared by one and all. It was a time where people gathered around the tree and maybe sung some carols; looked at the beautiful lights on many houses and maybe even drove around the neighborhood to look at the other people and their houses to see how they decorated and celebrated Christmas.

I remember days when Christmas was anticipated not dreaded. My dad always made us wait to put up the Christmas tree until Christmas Eve, in later years maybe two weeks before Christmas and we always took it down after January 7th, after Little Christmas.

We excitedly waited for Christmas knowing there would be toys involved, we’d see family that we never saw much during the year and there would certainly be a lot of laughter and joy during the season. 

The season of giving has turned into the season of greed, materialism, selfishness, and ignorance and let’s not forget the political correctness of it all. Don’t you dare say Merry Christmas because it might offend someone!

Who does Christmas offend? Does it offend the Jewish? No. I’ve heard many say that Christmas doesn’t offend them; they have their Hanukkah/Yom Kippur. Furthermore, they don’t believe Jesus was the Son of God anyway so no, they’re not offended. Are the Muslims offended? They don’t believe Jesus was the Son of God either, so no, I don’t think they’re offended.

Exactly who DOES Christmas offend and why are we being forced to use politically correct terms? I got it, it offends those who think that God should be taken out of our government and Nation. But doesn’t our nation stand by “In GOD we trust.” 

It helps if you understand what the Christmas celebration is all about, celebrated by billions around the world. It isn’t just an American holiday celebrated by the Christians. It is celebrated by all kinds of people from all walks of life, Christian or not. You as a human being can celebrate it or not. If you’re offended, then DON’T celebrate the season. It is as simple as that. The offended are the non-tradition holders.

The people who are offended are usually the people who have no God, no spirituality in their life and no cares for tradition or for the season. In years past the Christians were not outnumbered but as of recent days, people are of many different cultures/ religions/ denominations and thus offended by the Christian. 

We are not shoving our Christianity down your throat we are just paying homage to the traditions of our country (in this case USA) and therefore we continue in Christmas celebrations. Do you celebrate your birthday every year? Of course you do, it is a yearly tradition. No one is offended by facebook forcing others to know when your birthday is and therefore receiving many well wishes on your birthday.

No one seems offended by other holidays just the ones where Christ is involved. Again, our yearly Christian traditions! No one is forcing you to celebrate them, no one is making you take part in any Christ celebrations, we Christians are celebrating with a million other folk. Just because you’re in the crowd of non-believers, should we change the way we celebrate the millennia of celebratory TRADITIONS?

Should we give Atheists a holiday? Is it a tradition passed down for centuries? No? Then no, they should not just pop up and demand a holiday. You see what I’m saying? We are celebrating TRADITION that has been passed down from generation to generation. We didn’t just come up with this holiday and begin shoving it down your throat. 

Granted the holiday has taken on new shapes, forms and meaning to different people and the Christian doesn’t cry afoul of the stores demeaning their holy day for material prosperity.

We sit back and watch as stores demoralize the tradition of Christmas. The merchandiser starts right after Halloween, they make people work on Thanksgiving and even they have ruined their Black Friday event that pushes people (literally) into the materialization of Christmas. This is not what the Christmas Holiday is all about and as you sit offended by people saying Merry Christmas, I as a Christian sit offended by the destruction of a Holy Day, a day that *I* celebrate as a holy tradition. 

Christmas to me now is just another day to gather with some family. It no longer holds the traditional lore that I grew up knowing. Technically, it isn’t even Jesus’ birthday; it’s just a tradition holder. And so I go on celebrating Christmas... in a spiritual manner. 

Luke 2: 8-14 “And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.”
photo by Elaine DeBaucher

Sunday, December 06, 2015

The Nativity

image from google
poem by Joni

Isa. 9:6  For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

The Nativity

They walked… in the still of the night.
On an ass… as the two took to flight
They fled… to save their unborn child
They paused… for grace was mercy mild.

The inn… no room for them to stay
A manger… is where the babe would lay.
The Light… would guide this virgin birth
He came… to save this fallen earth.

The lamb… would watch and bow his head
The beasts… huddled ‘round the hay-filled bed.
He lay… against His mother’s breast.
She wept… for now the earth was blessed

They came… to see the Newborn King
The star… led the wise men to sing.
He’s here… wrapped in swaddling clothes
Come now… His living water flows.

Rejoice, Rejoice, Oh Israel
To you has come Emmanuel.

Luke 2: 11-12  For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

Friday, December 04, 2015

Tis the Season...

Half of my collection

John 4: 23-24 “But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him.
God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.”

I haven’t written since Thanksgiving and we’re well on our way to the most blessed season of the Christian life. While Thanksgiving came and went, as much as I felt thankful I was also riddled with grief. 

I’ve heard over and over how grief fluctuates and I’m no stranger to grief but have never grieved in this magnitude before. Yes, I lost two children and grieved immensely but I didn’t let the grief take hold of my life and I made some semblance of a life after their deaths. 

I knew my dad was very sick and I tried to prepare myself for the ending but like a good book, we never want it to end and always hope that there will be a sequel. My only hope of a sequel with my father dying, is knowing that he is basking on the shores of heaven and the sequel will rise when I join him. 

Thanksgiving was more than grief for my father; it was a longing to be home with my mother who is fighting her own battles of moving on in an empty home where the two of them shared their days on a 24/7 basis. She is now lonely holding emptiness in her hand and I long to be there to comfort her in her time of grief.

December 2nd was Christopher’s birthday and I came to the realization that I am the mother of a thirty-three year old son, had he been allowed to stay here on this crazy planet. I find solace in knowing that he didn’t have to be a part of this insanity that we call life and that he has an even bigger role in the place we call Heaven!

We had snow on Thanksgiving and hubby worked out in it for four hours in the wind and temps no higher than 25 degrees that day. He also drove in the mess but he did have the pleasure of being home for turkey dinner and home comfortably on Black Friday. Adam and I on the weekend began the Christmas decorating and as of Monday the place was looking like Christmas had kissed and blessed the scene. 

The holidays are shadowed in a new color for me, and I imagine many others, the color of grief. While lights dazzle, tinsel sparkles, snow glistens the bubble surrounding many homes this season is a somber gray, echoed by candlelight and showers of prayer washing over not only people but also a nation in the midst of sadness.

I know many people put on the show of glitz and glamour, hug tightly to the materialistic glow that surrounds the season, find themselves nestled in parties and booze all the while many are out here suffering through the pains that come along with this season, the season of joy, now the season of grief.

I won’t allow grief to ruin my Christmas; after all it is the season that we celebrate the Lord’s birth. I won’t allow fear of the unknown to ruin my Christmas because that is what the terror seekers want for us, to live in fear and I won’t allow that to happen. I will allow fear to empower me and to continue in this season with joy and hope in my heart. 

The prayerful soul that I am will bless you all as you too meander through this season. Go with peace, share the love and Light that Jesus stood for in His coming and prayerfully walk with God as you embrace the diversity that rest assured will slap us in the face in the coming new year.

God bless you all!

John 1:4-5 “In him was life; and the life was the light of men.
And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.”

Monday, November 30, 2015

Advent ~ a repost from 2014

Advent ~ what it means to ME

Deuteronomy 7:9 (NIV) “Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.”

The season of Advent is upon us and while many believe this is a season for the Catholic faith to celebrate the coming of Jesus’ birth, they are sadly mistaken. While the Catholic Church does celebrate through rites and rituals such as burning a colored candle each week as they focus on the coming of the Lord, many Christians such as myself celebrate Advent as a spiritual renewal.

This was a time in history documented and prophesied about in the Old Testament and came to fruition in the advent of the New Testament. The weeks leading up to Christ being born into this world are a pivotal proclamation to every single Christian. Our faith in Jesus Christ is solid proof, to ME, that the Advent of Christ is true to the biblical word.

Granted I don’t believe December 25th as the exact day He was born. But it is the day that man has chosen to appoint and celebrate as the day of Jesus’ birth. Advent to me is preparing for the coming of the Lord instead of getting all caught up in the commercialization of a sacred Holy Day.

We’re living in a world where people make up their own choices and minds with how to honor the King of Kings. Christians everywhere claim to be Christian but shrug off Lent and Advent and other spiritual expectancies that the very bible they claim to read speaks of and are happy just declaring they’re Christian’s. To me, that’s a mockery of Christ and the Holy Bible.

Yes, claiming to be a Christian is all well and good but it is more than just words, you have to put physical and spiritual ACTION behind those words for them to be believed. Even through my computer screen I can tell which friends are spirit-filled and which ones put on a show. When sitting in Church I can physically see who is there just to show people that they’re there. I am not judging people; I am confirming that I have eyes to see.

THIS is why a spiritual rejuvenation is needed throughout the year. THIS is why Advent and Lent are so dear to ME. Yes I spiritually reflect throughout the year, but these two seasons take on special meaning to my spiritual growth.

I watch as a globe erupts in turmoil; races against races, wars against innocent, death to believers, fear in the loving. Satan is standing at the threshold of corruption, rising in great power throwing swords of fire at the earthbound physically and spiritually weak.
The flames have reached every corner of the earth, blades of fire have licked the spirit of all as we sit and watch, waiting, just waiting to understand.

THIS is the season for true Christians to fully understand the biblical elements at work. This is where we gather our spiritual strength and prepare for the coming of Christ. We can’t shrug off what we are called to be; we can’t ignore and draw a blind eye of what is to come. We can’t walk and pretend that we’re doing everything in our power to prayerfully heal a nation in the throes of an uprising while we're too busy to reflect even once on the spiritual growth of our being. We’re not called to ‘just’ believe.

This is not a time to wear a mask and delight in the show of the Christmas spectacle; this is the time to be spiritually awake in the depths of your soul. This is not the time to look around at all you don’t hold in your hands; this is the time to be grateful for every little thing you DO have. This is not the time to walk in confidence knowing you have a faith and belief in God; this is the time to meditate on all you are, all you hold true and all you hope to one day become THROUGH the blood and power of Christ.

THIS, my friends, is the day the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it. Pss.118:24 

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

I'm Thankful! Happy Thanksgiving!

1 Chron. 16: 8 “Give thanks unto the LORD, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the people.”


It is with joy and not sadness that I approach Thanksgiving this year. I’ll probably be filled with sadness the closer we get to Christmas when I get the blues because I can’t share yet another Christmas holiday back home with my family. I’m okay with that, it’s just the songs bring about a melancholy spirit that hovers around the Christmas trimmings.

I’m an optimist so I do try to see the good in everything. For some reason that gives me a sense of peace that washes over me like a soft summer rain. So this Thanksgiving I have to reflect on what I am thankful for. I know, I know, I just lost my father and CAN I find something to be thankful for? Yes, yes I can!

Yes I’m thankful for all of the normal things: a home, a roof over my head, food in the refrigerator and heat for the house. I am also thankful for more:

*I’m thankful that I had the years I did with my dad.
*I’m thankful that we shared the stars, the storms, and the rain.
*I’m thankful my dad stood by me for so many years, then allowed me to spread my wings and move far far away from home, knowing full well he’d never have the chance to see me again.
*I’m thankful my dad loved my mother so much and instilled in her the strength she would need to get through his death.
*I’m thankful my dad found God!
*I’m thankful my husband finally decided to marry me!
*I’m thankful for my son who has grown to be his own man.
*I’m thankful for shooting stars as a way to communicate with my dad.
*I’m thankful for my dog that has a wonderful loving family surrounding her on cold nights.
*I’m thankful for Facebook as a form of communicating with my family back home and the chance to watch my nieces (and nephews) children grow without ever meeting them.
*I’m thankful for my spiritual friends, the writing ones and the ones that I met through God’s leading them to me or me to them, who in a virtual way, wrap their loving arms around me and comfort me in amazing ways via Facebook.
*I’m thankful for Auntie Sue & Papa John and for Ben, for showing me their love extends past the virtual screen!

Let me just say, I didn’t need to do the 30 days of thankfulness because I am thankful 365 days a year; for being alive, for sharing God’s word and my faith, and for friends and family!

May each and every one of you have a safe a Blessed Thanksgiving!!!

I Give Thanks

For all we are and all we do
we give our thanks each day.
We live, grow, change and mend
I give my thanks and pray.

I thank my mother and father
for all the things they gave.
Within their hand they held my life
but only One could save.

I led the life He wanted for me
although the road was rough.
I never look back with any regret
the rocky roads were tough.

The path was laid before we were born
the forks were all in place.
Which we chose was a cosmic bend
that altered time and space.

I found a cross in my walk
as I wandered through each year.
Whimsical times and frenzied mind
He made it all seem clear.

The crystal shell lay in shards
glass was torn to pieces.
He put them all together again
my love for Him never ceases!

I thank the Lord for carrying me
through my most daunting days.
I’m mended now because of Him,
a path of new-found ways.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Do We Know the Future?

Luke 21: 21: 9 “But when ye shall hear of wars and commotions, be not terrified: for these things must first come to pass; but the end is not by and by.”

Sunday’s sermon touched on the false prophet who claims to know when the end of the world was near. We hear it all the time that these are the end times but keep in mind that during Jesus’ time the apostles and people all thought that they too were living in the end times. Every generation and false prophet claims that they hold the truth and know when the end times will be.

Matt. 24: 36 But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.

I realized many years ago that focusing on these false prophecies were only doing more harm than good. It kept me from focusing on God and by allowing myself to be led into this false prophecy satan is achieving his goal and that goal is: “The more lies I feed them, the more they believe what I’m saying and not listening to the truth that God has shown them.”

Let me ask, if you knew they day and hour that you were going to die, would you do anything different? Of course you would! But knowing that the Lord has a set day and time for the day of earth to end, you do nothing?

When a blizzard is said to be coming, people rush out and stock up on food, snacks and toiletries preparing to be hunkered down for days on end. Then the day arrives and not even a flurry lands on the grass, making you realize you prepared for nothing. 

That is exactly what false prophecy is, it gets you thinking the end is near and you prepare for it in fear and then it doesn’t come to fruition. Your fears were based on lies. Yes we can rest assured that God does not lie or instill fear in us, and the end WILL happen and we should only be preparing for our entry into heaven, not wandering about looking to see if the end is upon us so that YOU know (or think you know) when the end will come. God will let those who see, see and those that hear, hear.

There’s a terrorist group that is doing this same thing, instilling fear in people. I’m not going to name them because of course that showers more attention on them and I see that they get enough attention so I’ll let you think about it for a moment. God does not instill fear or terror and anyone who does instill fear is nothing more than a cowardly bully.

Think about it, satan instills fear. We fear death, we fear not measuring up, we fear losing our job and we fear everything and nothing. To live in fear of impending terror you give power to fear.  I hear people cursing God for creating them as worthless to society. I hear people cry in desperation for some kind of anything to help them get through trouble but note, they WON’T give power over to God. They would much rather allow satan run their lives into the pits of hell than admit they NEED God to reign in their life.

I know quite a few atheist (and no, it isn’t you because you’re reading me for the inspiration you seek) an atheist doesn’t have time for inspiration, I assume they only have time for living in fear. I’m not here to judge them because if they are happy, truly happy living that way, well more power to them.

I wonder why so many people are obsessed with when the end will happen. You know what I say? Live every day like it was the last day on earth and you won’t have to live in fear or worry when the end will come.

One of the things that I feel at peace with is that my dad didn’t fear death. When he went into the hospital he knew he wasn’t going to go back home. As much fighting to live the man did, he didn’t fear death even on his last day. With one of his last breaths he told my mother he loved her and I know he was at peace in going to his heavenly home.

No one can predict the future. Not even Jesus knew when the end was going to happen so listening to a minister say HE knows when the end is, you are just feeding his ego of lies. No one knows!!! When it ends, we should all be prepared, not in a panic state, not in a fearful state but in a peaceful state.

With the Thanksgiving holiday approaching and many people traveling the highways, the railroads and the skies, instead of going in fear of what MIGHT happen, go in love and be thankful for a family to go home to on the holiday. Be grateful for the time spent on this earth and cherish every last second because one never knows, it might be your last.

Matt. 24:36 “But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.”

Monday, November 23, 2015

I'm Back... With a Purpose

Micah 6:8  “He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?”

I’m Back... With a Purpose

In the midst of my grief I found something. It was there all the time I just needed to grab hold of all that I knew I had in me and that is my FAITH! One to never let me down, God set upon me a new mission, one that I had strayed from but He brought me back through my faith.

Yesterday’s sermon was about the future and knowing your purpose in the here and now. It really touched me because I was snuggling up to my grief and looking for a promise in my tears. As usual I found it in a sermon cradled among truth.

Sometimes people feel scared, afraid they’re not doing all they can in the Lord’s eyes whether a florist, a doctor, a gardener or a janitor. Sometimes people feel that between resting on Sunday and going back to work on Monday is just a mundane chore they do to keep food on their plate. Really? You feel so unworthy that that is all you feel your purpose is in life? To put food on the table and pay bills?

If in the mundane you see purpose, your inner essence and being will come to life like a newly planted spring garden. The florist feels like it is just a job organizing and arranging the flowers while making money, but in essence of completing her purpose she is touching the lives of other people. How you might ask? When you’re lying in the hospital and a flower arrives, how does that make you feel? You’re not thinking of the person who is serving a purpose in bringing that arrangement to life. Instead you’re smiling and feeling good! This person was touched by the florist and didn’t even give her a second thought. At a funeral, the florist is reaching into your realm and making you feel love and beauty surround you in a dark moment of despair.

How about the nurse? Are you thinking of her dedication to serving her purpose in life? No, I imagine all you are thinking about is her poking and prodding and how annoying it is to lose control of YOU and YOUR faculties. The nurse is serving her purpose in bringing you your medical needs and see that you are comfortable on this, as you see it, demeaning journey.

How about the janitor? Are you thinking of their job as fulfilling a purpose? Of course not, again you’re thinking of you and how you’re just glad that there is toilet paper on the TP holder after you’re done your business. You don’t think of anyone as fulfilling a purpose but as I see it, we’re all here fulfilling the purpose that God has set for us.

Sometimes people feel that they’re not doing enough in fulfilling their purpose and get emotionally drained thinking what next? What will I do? They worry needlessly when they should take their need to God and He WILL fulfill your need in serving His purpose. Remember, He put you here for a reason and that is to serve His purpose.

When people get distracted from their purpose they begin to lose faith. They don’t want something higher than themselves controlling what their purpose is so they wander into selfishness and hold tightly to materialistic views and they go on in life serving nothing but their ego.

MY purpose is to write. Even when I feel like my writing isn’t reaching out to someone, that one person will let me know that I’ve reached into his or her heart in some way and thus fulfilling my purpose. I lost sight of that for a while thinking there was really no reason to write but in the layers of grief I found my writing to not only be essential to the my healing but to be substantial in finding my purpose while helping others.

I serve God through my writing. He blessed me with the talent to write. He had me training on many levels all of my life in my cleaning houses for those who were often too disabled to do it for themselves, taking care of the elderly when they couldn’t nurse themselves, tending to the lonely widow who just needed friendship. God used me so my heart would know and understand compassion for all and then my writing would be used to relay a message of the promise that He had shown to me.

I’ve spent enough time in my grief and now it is time to fulfill my purpose in serving God. You do know that if you are not serving God, you are only serving yourself? We live in the ‘all about me’ generation and people are not so happy with the sun not rising for THEM! The world should turn and bow for THEM. They seek ‘things’ outside getting lost in pain and sorrow and never look at the healing that is right there on the inside waiting for them to embrace.

We all have a purpose in this life and until you understand what the purpose is and that EVERY single person has one, maybe the world would change. We can’t let evil scare us into not seeing a reason for everything under the sun.

Jesus was a carpenter for most of His life. Do you think he sat there twiddling his thumbs asking God what his purpose was in life? I don’t think so, he knew God was shaping him into a man who would carve out a nation, build a world of love out of the sands of time, hammer into the people a voice that would be heard for millennia, seal the message and purpose with nails so that the blood would set us free. Once Jesus understood His purpose, His life was fulfilled.

Luke. 21:34 And take heed to yourselves, lest at any time your hearts be overcharged with surfeiting, and drunkenness, and cares of this life, and so that day come upon you unawares.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Poetry Sunday ~ Come To Me

Matt. 11:28 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Come To Me

Come all who are heavy laden
The burden too strong to bear
Come one come all you sinning men
In My arms feel no despair.

Rivers of living water flow
I see the streams in you
Come all who are heavy laden
The cross is the least I can do.

Come all who are heavy laden
A shadow veils your face.
Come to me you restless spirit
Be free of this sinful place.

Come all who are heavy laden
To rest your weary soul.
I am the Lord your Savior
Through me you can be whole.

Isa. 59:1 “Behold, the LORD's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear:”

Friday, November 20, 2015


Pss. 109:15 “Let them be before the LORD continually, that he may cut off the memory of them from the earth.”

An Epiphany

It has been an interesting ride into an epiphany or intuitive insight into the essential meaning of something. In this case, I know why I’m here in Nebraska!

As a kid growing up, my mother and I were the best of friends. We share a birthday so I was considered special from day one AND the fact that that I was the baby helped that position along.

Living in the city without a car left us shopping in the locality best known to unknowns as Light Street. No seriously, that was and still is the name of the street lined with shops and stores. As we would walk past the glass lined buildings with the picture window shops and apparel, my mother would always reminisce of what that store was many years ago; it was a quite nostalgic trip on weekends for my mother and I.

We’d often go into Epsteins, (locals pronounced it Ep-stines while non-locals called it Ep-steens). Epsteins was like an old day version (only smaller) of WalMart. They sold everything from clothes to curtains, carpets to furniture, vacuums to hardware; Epsteins was the weekend hubbub of Light Street. We’d pass jewelry stores, a fish store that sold bunnies in their front window, the more expensive clothes stores for men, shoe stores, café’s and diners.

We’d often (and I do mean often) go to George’s Lunch where they had orange padded booths and a few tables lining one side of the wall and the streaming aroma of the grilled onions and Coney Island hamburgers, steamers for buns and hot dogs along with fresh baked pies where slices sat perched in front of a mirrored shelf! Their specialty was a rice pudding with a cream on top with a dash of cinnamon that I would get every single visit!

I loved the old time look of the place with the individual spinning stools that separated the cooking being done, the waitresses and the small aisle where the booths sat always filled with hungry patrons. Often we’d have to wait for a seat because the place was the highlight of Light Street and everyone just loved the food.

In the summer months, I would always meet my mother for lunch and George’s is often where we’d dine. Sometimes we’d head to Polock Johnny’s or The White Coffee Pot but there we were off doing stuff together.

My sister and brothers resented my closeness with my mother always claiming that she gave me everything. I won’t deny it, she DID! She gave me anything and EVERYTHING I ever wanted. BUT, to clarify, I did everything FOR my mother. Whether it was cleaning, cooking, washing dishes, painting or hanging wallpaper, I was an actual participant not an observer feeling neglected like the rest of my siblings.

The way I see it, it went both ways. She didn’t give me everything because I asked for it, she gave everything to me as an appreciative act for all I did for her. There IS a difference.

As years would pass I was now dragging my (ex) husband into the mix and had him doing all sorts of handyman work for my mother and father. I lived next door to my mother in my grandfather’s rental house for thirteen years. When the rental house was sold, my parents sold THEIR house to move right around the corner from where I had moved.

They just wanted to be close to me and near to my son. I surely didn’t mind because they were basically my best friends at this point. We continued with taking mother shopping on weekends, I always cleaned her house, and she was always giving me soup, spaghetti and whatnot.

I was close to my siblings too, helping my sister out with her six kids; when she went away I would clean her house spic-n-span! My brother would invite me to his house, much to the chagrin of my sister who was now HIS neighbor.

My sister and brothers all longed for the relationship I had with my parents but none of them were willing to put any effort into the rapport. No, they just wanted my parents to show THEM attention but as always, I was the only one who received the attention they longed for.

Then I left Baltimore and all of my family behind. Quite suddenly I might add. A two-week notice and I was well on my way to happiness. My sister invited Steven and I to dinner the night before we left for Texas and she invited my brothers but no one showed up. My mother and father did!

With me gone, they could have my parents all to themselves but no, that wasn’t the case. Weeks would pass before my sister ever called my mother and often it was my father who called and told HER to call my mother sometime. The only time they showed ANY attention to my parents was when my mother would tell them over and over again how “Joni calls me every night and twice a day on weekends!” It irked them into caring!

Back to the epiphany I began with, the why I am here and not there? It was not meant for me to be there. My siblings had to step up and actually DO something for my mother and father. When my father was in the hospital I literally had to goad my one brother into going to see my dad before he died.

Had I been back there, they might have seen too much love for me and not enough attention focused on them, they needed that. My sister is now calling my mother every day, taking her out of the house, inviting her to dinner, taking her to the doctor, you name it; my sister is now sitting at a diner (not the same one that me and mother frequented) and is now being given the attention that she needed all those years; the attention that both of them needed.

My brothers are paying attention, my sister is paying attention and it sure is sad that it took my father to die for them to notice that time on this earth is not guaranteed it is precious! With me out of the way, they can now focus on what needs to be done and that is to give my mother the attention she so richly deserves!

Pss. 145:7 “They shall abundantly utter the memory of thy great goodness, and shall sing of thy righteousness.”