Where I Go From Here...

Isa. 41:10 “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”

:13 “For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.”

Where I go from here…

If you’re not an expert in the field, then please refrain from judging ME and MY way of healing MY body! Your comments HURT more than help and I am in a very FRAGILE state as I face this cell-biting funk in my body! I’m not here to judge the toxins you put in YOUR body daily, I’m here to judge MY daily intake of toxins.

Expert opinions

“All the so-called natural deaths are nothing but the terminal point of high body acidity,” -- George W. Crile of Cleveland, one of the most renowned surgeons in the world.

“The innumerable names of the diseases are not important, but the fact that they all stem from the basic causes is -- too much acidity in the body.” -- Dr. Theodore A. Baroody, book “Alkalise or die” 

“Increased acidification of the body is the cause of degenerative diseases. If there is an imbalance and the body begins to store toxins and acidity to a greater extent, your body will start to experience diseases “- Dr. Robert O. Young.

Saturday, I unintentionally got knocked down a rung or two by a comment and with my impending new oncologist visit on Monday, it almost knocked me back to square one. A social media fast is in order and if you haven’t bookmarked my blog, then you’ll have no idea I’m continuing to write.

One comment, that’s all it took to get my heart racing and my hands shaking allowing doubt and fear to slither in; albeit unintentional, it kicked me in my fragile butt! Sunday I was a mess, even after a sermon and praise. I don’t like to delete people but at this juncture, I am more focused on MY healing than YOUR feelings. 

Monday morning came and a visit with a new oncologist was in order for the day. My anxiety felt high, but I winged it with a great blood pressure reading and not a tear fell down my cheek!
My GP led me to this doctor last week. This was not HER pick, it was MY pick out of the IBS (IckyBoobSyndrome) doctors available. I looked at the faces, I looked at the eyes and this was whom I chose. Little did I know that he is probably one of the TOP oncologists in the STATE of Nebraska, affiliated with a pretty highly ranked Big C Center. It was worth the forty-five-minute drive to me, to US. 

Someone warned me that this man was pretty adamant about not allowing patients to walk out the door without committing them to Chemotherapy. I was warned so I was ready with what little armor I had (I was weak going in, thanks to the unintentional hurtful comment over the weekend) and the doc was extremely almost forceful (hugging me seven times to sway me?) in making his call of having me commit. He wanted to call my son at home, he demanded I commit now before leaving, or he’d lose me (played the guilt card). Almost two hours of pressure but I walked out, informed, enlightened and aware. This was MUCH better than the first oncologist. And no bruising to show for it today!

What I DID commit to was a PET scan, only for the very reason being, to know if this crud is spreading through my body. I NEED to know as I continue on with my fight. If it is spreading, I may HAVE to do chemo. So I can live. As he put it, without chemo he gives me a year of cancer eating my brains and bones (with my former unhealthy lifestyle, mind you) to live, WITH chemo he was pretty confident an additional fifteen years. He put up a good argument but like I said, I still had my faith and strength in tact! “What’s stopping you?” Doc asked. My hubby, who was in the room with me, spoke up and said, “We need to pray about this! She’s told you her reasons why. Now we need time.” The man was not giving up! 

This is how firm he was. He ordered the PET scan from his office to my local hospital and of all the nerve, he wanted me to visit his office forty-five minutes away after my PET scan to sign up for the chemo!!!! He almost demanded and I said NO! If any of you have had a PET scan you know the twenty-four hour protocol? No eating, no drinking etc.? He needs results before I make ANY sort of commitment because it will change the plan a little that he had set out for me. “Friday, how about Friday?” he demanded. “NO!” I shot back! Pressure! My chest felt a tight pressure closing in on me!

His navigator lady was extremely helpful and very explanatory and also said, “In the end, it is YOUR body! YOUR decision!” I have to remember that I need to stop being a people pleaser for this duration. I only agreed to this visit to appease my GP. I wanted to go back home before entering the office and hubby started the truck and said, “Let’s go!” I told him I NEEDED to hear what this man had to say for my own sanity, good or bad, I NEED to hear it and that I did. 

I left the office with no other commitment but a PET scan on Thursday. He wanted me to schedule a visit for next week but I had to decline so I can see what my husband’s schedule is going to be like. Pressure! Pressing down on me. I do hold in my hand a copy of the results of my tests on January 25, a booklet on the guide to reading those tests and what they mean, and a book ‘Straight Talk about BC’. 

It sure doesn’t feel like MY life and MY decision but I guess this is normal. 
I’d like to add that with each doctor (4) now, they have seen my arsenal of supplements and my new eating habits. I get the feeling they know I’ve done my research and each supplement is targeted at my cells!

I pray that God gives me the strength to hear and follow what He wants me to do and I pray I’m hearing rightly and not blinded by what I want. I need continued prayer from the warriors who’ve been praying. Please don’t let up. Put my name in Prayer requests in all of your churches. PRAY FOR ME! 

Isa. 11:2 “And the spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD;”

I Follow HIM

Pss. 9:1 “I will praise thee, O LORD, with my whole heart; I will shew forth all thy marvellous works.”

I Follow Him

First and foremost, I follow the Lord and I always listen even if it’s something I don’t want to do. I sometimes feel like I come off as a flighty dumb blond walking into a flaming fire because I stand with Christ and Christ alone. 

I remember the story of Peter when Jesus asked him to walk on water, did you know he did step out onto the water, at first, but doubt and fear won out and he sunk? Jesus asked Him, “Are ye of little faith?” Some people say they have faith but if Jesus Himself came and said walk on the water with me, I can bet MANY would sink!

Matt 14: 25-31 NIV- “Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

I’d like to think my faith is so strong that I WOULD walk on water for Him. He’s asked me to trust Him with my cancer and all of the HEALING treatment that He Himself has chosen for me. I say, God, lead me on still waters. Wouldn’t you know it, the waters stirred, I DID NOT FEAR! I AM NOT and WILL NOT DOUBT Him. When people pile up against me, I stand my ground firmly with the Lord. Laugh, scoff, Jesus knows exactly what it was like to be condemned by the very people who claimed to follow Him. 

I have suffered and struggled all of my life. God entered into my pain and washed away the scars and allowed me to walk to Him, with Him and for Him! Anything I struggled with he carried for me and gave me the strength of an army, one small woman, felt like an army of angels had encompassed her on a daily basis just to get through a day, a month, a year.

God is not glorified in your pain and suffering, He is glorified in your healing and yes He’s used my pain, my suffering, my scar tissue to be seen as His Light shining through. If I show doubt in His ability to carry this disease, I will sink in the very water I KNOW I can tread.

Toxins. I was raised in a toxic family, shaped by toxic chemicals whether it was LSD, PCP or any other drug of choice at the time; also the environmental toxins that I breathed in daily. I suffered alcoholism, drug addiction, sexual abuse. I lied, cheated, stolen and all of my pain and shame is laid bare for the world to see. I have NOTHING to hide behind because it is for YOU to see how Glorious our God is in His grace and forgiveness! I did not have the advantage of growing up in a rose-colored-glasses kind of world.

We live in a toxic world. Man turns to a doctor because he trusts him and has faith in Him and when someone stands against that very person they put their faith in for drugs, and medication, they don’t see the drugs and medication as toxins, they see my walk without the pacifier I call the medical toxic community as my guide, a toxic decision. So are vitamins, herbs and minerals toxic to my body? I’ll take my chances on that one. 

I think some people think I’m making this decision of no chemo. on my own in my naïve stupid young girl fashion. Seriously? If that is what you think of me, then you are not my friend. If you read my blog to pick out grammatical errors, you are missing an entire portion of me, back away from me, please! I follow HIM and Him alone in my quest for healing.

I watched as my grandmother had a stroke, then came out of the hospital and changed nothing and lived on meds the rest of her days. I watched as my aunts and uncles battled cancer, changed not one bit of their unhealthy lifestyle, I watched as my dad after heart surgery and a good three months of recovery returned to his old ways and eventually died. I've lived as two of my children have died!

You see, I’m coming into this diagnosis with my eyes wide open! I’ve seen, I've watched, I’ve lived, and most of all I LEARNED! I come into this cell attacker with three things none of my family members EVER had. 1) Knowledge 2) Wisdom 3) An undying unwavering FAITH!

The very first thing I did with this diagnosis? DRASTICALLY changed my unhealthy eating habits! I cut out sugar and carbs, meat and dairy, which left me with nothing but fruits and vegetables. I researched, researched and researched chemo, vitamins, herbs, cures, toxins, success stories. I’ve already been a witness to too many unsuccessful stories of illnesses from heart disease, diabetes, arthritis and a host of other illnesses. The one thing they ALL had in common was medications and an unhealthy lifestyle. 

Many people are unwilling to make a drastic change in unhealthy living. They’d much rather depend on a doctor to pacify them with drugs and a false sense that they are gods and are going to make them well. Did you ever notice, doctors are not in the business to make you well? Once you’re on medication you will NEED them for the rest of your days. You will never be healed because you then become an addict, addicted to meds. 

Did you know that God placed natural herbs here for us? Did you know God built our bodies to heal and regenerate? After we’ve totally destroyed our immune system, we need to try HARDER to restore what was lost and not trust doctors to destroy MORE for us. I’m trusting God on this one. Right or wrong, my God is the carrier of ANY burden, sickness, or pain I bring to Him. He is the Almighty Healer, Doctor and cure-all! If it bothers you that I think this way, please, feel free to reexamine your absolute faith and trust in Jesus Christ. The world desperately needs to see Jesus alive and Christians are the only ones to bring him to the world for all to see. He didn’t come to be glorified in our illness, He came to be glorified in our HEALING! THAT, my friends, is the ROCK *I* stand on!

All praise and glory be to GOD! Alleluia AMEN! Godspeed…

James 1:26 “If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.”

This is me and how I feel and LIVE!


The more I seek you
The more I find you
The more I find you
The more I love you

I want to sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand
Lay back against you and breathe, feel your heart beat
This love is so deep, its more than I can stand
I melt in your peace, its overwhelming

*it's a link to the song

My Body Is A Temple

Pss. 34:4 “I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.”

My Body is a Temple

I’ve heard, read and believed this statement but not until I was diagnosed with cancer did I fully understand what this meant. I knew it meant that I should treat my body, mind, and soul as a temple but did I believe that I would reap what I sowed. I don’t think so, I don’t think any of us do really.

I sowed and sowed,  at one time I smoked, did drugs, ate anything I wanted and never felt one time that I was going against all I knew and learned from the bible. The words in the bible were written for us today as much as for the people two thousand years ago. 

I see with many of the different religions of the world that elements of the Holy Bible are strewn in there to look like their very own religion. They are not called Christian but many have the same principles and most all have in some form of another how the body is the holiest of temples. How do we not see it?

Prov. 23:7 “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.” I think, therefore I am. Ring a bell?

I think it’s a part of conforming, doing what everyone else is doing, eating what they’re eating, drinking what they drink. If you have heart disease, diabetes, arthritis, cancer or any numerous other diseases, you are reaping what you’ve sown throughout your life. Your body is failing because it was not treated as the temple that it was formed to be.

Did you ever wonder why in the Old Testament, we read the precise food we’re to eat? Did you ever notice how altars were built to perfection? Noah’s Ark was built to perfection? Do you remember what happened when temples were defiled? They were destroyed. That is exactly what happens to our bodies when they become defiled by the ways of the world.

All the lessons are there for us to learn but yet we defile them daily. I am not exempt, obviously. I have cancer and my body is reaping what I’ve sown. I have eaten bad, I have treated my body as if it was mine when in reality it is God’s and has been all along. I got this wake-up call and repented immediately. I screamed out “forgive me, Father for what I have done.”

Every time we make unhealthy choices we are defiling the temple that God trusted us with and usually it takes something as a serious illness or disease to wake you up with a God-slap moment. We need to repent. We need to change.

Do you know what country that has the lowest breast cancer? Japan. And the highest rate of cancer? 
Highest: 
Lowest: 

It’s a fact, the Western Culture has some of the highest cancer rates and diseases because we’re gluttons. We’re not like the third world countries where we have minimum foods to eat like herbs, leafy vegetables, and fresh fruit. Think about it, we eat like kings compared to the Africans. We’re gluttons. We treat our bodies as if we can do what we want with no ramifications and if you’re dealing with ANY type of illness all you have to do is look at your daily eating habits. Your diet is your gluttony.

In the past four weeks the only meat that has gone into my body has been two pieces of freshwater salmon, the only vegetables were/are organic in nature meaning no toxins, and the only dairy was/is farm fresh vegetarian fed chickens eggs. I have all of the organic fruits I can eat and I'm feeling great! You could not tell I have any illness residing in me. Headaches, coughs, sinus problems can all be attributed to the foods you eat and the toxins you breathe in.  

I know what you’re thinking, ‘that’s not food you're eating!’ Well let me tell you, this is the best I’ve ever felt in my life! MY ENTIRE LIFE! Did you ever wonder why God chose manna to feed the Israelites? Why Jesus fed thousands with loaves of bread? Why didn’t He have hundreds of animals drawn to the people for them to slaughter and eat? Why didn’t He lead the people to bacon and fried chicken? Because He KNEW their bodies were His temples and treated them as such!

We don’t treat our bodies as His temples. We treat our bodies as they were conditioned to be treated; by man, for man, we eat for ourselves and no one else. I am not condemning you or judging you, I’m just relaying what I’ve learned in the past four weeks and I NEED to share this. It’s not mine to own!

I feel as though I have been placed on an eternal fast. My body is being cleansed and changing, it is reacting to the way I’m treating it, in a good way. My mind is releasing all the bad and I’m basking in all the good that is left behind. I’m no longer treating my body disastrously and reaping what I’ve sown there, I’m rejoicing in treating my body as the Temple I know that it is and can only be perfected for Christ and by Christ.

Only by His stripes am I HEALED! I am healthy! I am well!!! This is my new daily mantra thanks to Chis Wark of Chris Beat Cancer. I’m listening to his 10 [module] steps to beating cancer while they’re free and his module seven of the series was the solidifying game changer for me. It was all about having faith in doing what you’re doing, BEATING CANCER without drugs and chemo, the real new-age killer! 

Change the ye to chemo and you get how I feel about chemotherapy:

Ezek. 34:4 “The diseased have ye[chemo] not strengthened, neither have ye[chemo] healed that which was sick, neither have ye[chemo] bound up that which was broken, neither have ye[chemo] brought again that which was driven away, neither have ye[chemo] sought that which was lost; but with force and with cruelty have ye[chemo] ruled them.”

If I have all the faith I claim to have then I KNOW I can beat this. If Jesus healed many, He can heal me. He didn’t say, “I’ll heal you one day.” He clearly stated that he’d heal me NOW! And I believe that with every fiber of my being. The very LEAST I can do is treat my body as the perfectly constructed temple He entrusted me with. With every bite, with every breath, I honor and respect HIM! 

Praise be to God!

Rom. 8:28-31 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.

What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?”

My Doctor Visit

Pss. 6:2 “Have mercy upon me, O LORD; for I am weak: O LORD, heal me; for my bones are vexed.”

My Doctor Visit

Yesterday, many of you know I visited with my General Practitioner (GP from here on out). It was all that I expected from a doctor who actually cares about her patient and she didn’t let me down. 

I didn’t wait long in the nearly empty office that is usually bustling and as my name was called my heart raced a bit. Of course, my mind thinks good things but there is always that one little part that we all have that wonders what this visit will bring. 

I stepped on the dreaded scale in anticipation of what my forced diet would bring and to my surprise; I lost seven pounds in three - four weeks. That’s normal since I’ve had no carbs, no sugar, no meat and no dairy and a gallon of purified water a day. I’m an herbivore these days and it is paying off with energy, life, stamina, and peace.

The doctor came in and we talked. We talked about not doing chemo, and doing chemo, we talked about my illness and what I’m currently doing with my diet and exercise. She and the assistant were impressed that in four weeks (since I saw her last) I had changed so much!

She’d really like me to do chemo. It wasn’t the pressure I felt from the oncologist this was a subtle conversation between doctor/patient with eye to eye contact and compassion. I understood everything she said. I told her about the bad experience with the onc. and that we just didn’t click and I in no way said I ‘wasn’t committing’, I said I needed time!

She did say right off that my Breast Cancer doctor (remember, they’re colleagues/friends) had told her to keep an eye on me. That was the honesty I seek in a doctor, not an evasive reply. She offered that, I didn’t ask. I knew, but I still didn’t ask. That was her fifth or tenth brownie point in my eyes. 

She asked if I’d like to see another oncologist and I said YES, I’m not NOT committing, I need time to gather all the information I can. Her honesty showed again when she said, “I’m not a specialist in the field of oncology and that is who you really need to see to explain it more.” Monday the 27th, I’ll visit the new oncologist. He may also recommend a PET scan and I’m thinking, radiation and all, it might be for the best to know if the disease is spreading. I welcome your positive thoughts! Positive only!

We talked like old friends yet this was only my second time seeing her. She went on to tell me that this is a very successfully treated type of BC and that they have made great strides in treatment. Still only chemo treatments, but this time I was actually listening because she was actually taking the time to come down to my level, not putting on airs and putting herself above me.

She told me that all I’m doing with the vitamins and diet would only enhance the success of the chemo treatment and not hurt, I’d have to ask the new onc., but she was pretty sure. She said my mind, and my positive outlook can only be a good thing. Too many people go into this with, like I said before, that cancer is a ‘death sentence’.

She was also honest about the holistic healing. I asked why doctors don’t know about these things that can save lives and she made sense in her reply where the oncologist just brushed me off. This doctor said because most holistic remedies haven’t been studied long enough yet or are still in the testing stages and as a doctor, she can only offer what is within her realm of treatment. Chemotherapy is tried and true. I got it, it made sense to me, I understood where the medical community was coming from. 

What we talked about didn’t change my mind on getting chemo but it did give me something to think about. Yes, we even talked about the bad side effects of chemo, and she sided with there is more good than bad and I’m sticking with there is more bad than good, for now. 

Ezek. 34:4 “The diseased have ye not strengthened, neither have ye healed that which was sick, neither have ye bound up that which was broken, neither have ye brought again that which was driven away, neither have ye sought that which was lost; but with force and with cruelty have ye ruled them.” (sounds like chemo - TO ME)

I live in a state where the next oncologist available is forty miles away. Remember, when my hubby needed a cornea transplant the only place in the STATE is three and a half hours away. I grew up in a tiny little state, where there were MANY top-notch hospitals available within miles of each other, University of Maryland and Johns Hopkins just to name two. And out here they have nothing but cows and farmland in such a BIG state; nothing innovative to write home about here. 

Nebraskans seem offended when I say stuff like that but I’m not saying it to offend anyone, I’m just AMAZED, in the twenty-first century, that the nearest airport is (besides those tiny plane ones) is over an hour away and oncologists are separated by forty miles or more!

THIS is the reason I’m doing more research. THIS is the reason I NEED to do more research. I can’t just up and move to a new state so I HAVE to take what is offered me here but *I* feel more in control when I can make the decision on my own and not be forced into something I don’t believe. I feel like they are trying to brainwash me and have me join their cult of beliefs, but now, I have more understanding of where they are coming from with this GP visit.

I’m continuing on my journey, I’m trying to remain positive and also trying to rid ANYTHING I deem as negative out of my life. I’ve done this spiritual cleansing many times over my life but now I need to put to use all I’ve learned. On we go, my friends! I’m so glad I have you along for the ride, this is one mountain climbing excursion that I’m glad to not be on alone. I can’t thank you all enough but remember where I FEEL the love, my prayers bounce back to YOU! Win/win guys…now journey on! 

Gen. 24:21 “And the man wondering at her held his peace, to wit whether the LORD had made his journey prosperous or not.”

Beating Cancer: One Day at a Time

Jer. 17:14 “Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise.”

You Are What You Eat

I think I’m officially a fruitivore, a term I stole from Dr. Morse. I’ve never looked at so many cancer-fighting videos/pages in my life, and more than likely, neither have you. Why, because cancer equals death in many a mind. We’ve been conditioned to believe that cancer is a death sentence, not a second chance to change your lifestyle and eating habits.

Many people hear the word cancer from their doctor and right beside those terms are chemotherapy and radiation treatments. They NEVER suggest a second option or even a possibility of a second option. They themselves have been conditioned, trained, to tell you that chemo is the only way to go and rarely will you find an oncologist that will render ‘other’ options.

You hear those words cancer/chemo and you allow fear to help you make the decision only because you yourself have believed all along that cancer equals death. Did you know that cancer is a billion dollar industry? That’s right folks, along with the pharmaceutical corporations, your cancer is right up there with the biggest money making ‘industry’.  

Doctor’s are not trained to tell you of other option and the only reason is because that is money lost, out the door, not in their pocket! They prescribe meds like a corner candy store and we the people assume they are right because well, that’s what we believe. After being told over a lifetime that doctors know what’s best for us, we begin to believe it and think ourselves less knowledgeable because we don’t hold a diploma from the medical field.

Never before in time has there been so much access to knowledge. Doc’s will say, you can’t believe EVERYTHING you read on the internet, this is true, but as a writer, I don’t take the first lie/truth as concrete, I dig and dig and find multiple places where these facts are. It’s called research! 

Some people are so quick to believe something they just read, they post it on social media without doing a little digging to see if it is the truth! Last year's election proved that lies are not concrete truth! And you know what else, you look like a sucker when you believed all the lies all along. 

That is exactly what is happening with the cancer industry. By the way, how does the term ‘cancer industry’ sound to you? To ME it sounds like I’m being taken for a ride because I have a disease that doctor’s use to make their money. Imagine if everybody sought out alternative treatment, these doctors would monetarily be in a heap of trouble. I imagine their caviar consumption would go down quickly.

Now let me tell you, had my oncologist told me if I don’t get chemo I’d die in six months, I might have jumped at the chemo just because I don’t want to die. It would have been a nice fear tactic and one I might have bought. Forget about all the people leaving this earth at the hands of chemo. But no, the oncologist didn’t tell me that and kind of brushed me off when I mentioned holistic healing as if my body, my disease was not a choice that I’m ALLOWED to decide on how to handle treatment. My instincts told me I was being swindled and I usually listen to my GUT INSTINCTS! 

What am I doing to heal myself? MASSIVELY changing my diet for one.
Every body is different and what works for some, may not work for others. With that in mind my research has led me all over the place in three weeks and what is working for me, is the massive change and added supplements to my diet. I could use more supplements but as I said the other day, no money, no more supplements than what I already have. And this is a two- year program to be completely rid of cancer.

Yesterday I listed all of the supplements I’m taking (yesterday I added a garlic tablet) although I eat gobs of garlic, I still felt I needed more. I’ve modified the diet I’m on to suit ME and the funds I have to spare on it, otherwise, this is all for naught and I might as well go the chemo route and die. 

You see, to ME, chemo is a death sentence, not cancer. Someone said to me something like, “If all that you need is hoity-toity supplements and change your diet, wouldn’t you hear about it more and of the survivors?” You know what I have to say to that? Did you have any idea Trump was going to become President of the United States? No? WHY? Because we are only told what the media and press WANT you to hear! Repeat after me, A BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY!

There are thousands of people out here surviving cancer WITHOUT chemo! Chris Beat Cancer was in stage four! He’s alive twelve years after skipping chemo. There are testimonies all over the internet that support the non-chemo route but you WILL NOT hear about them because the billion dollars they’re making on cancer would collapse and go bankrupt! They can’t allow that now can they? 

I’m going to do a You Are What You Eat series and take you on the journey of what I eat daily. This is just the beginning and this diet is a ninety-day process to see massive change! Three months to know if the cancer is going out the door or whether it is growing and spreading. I think six months of continued therapy MY way will tell me more. It is MY life, MY body and I control what is going to happen. Along with God, my greatest champion, I will either fail or succeed.  If my doctor says something on Tuesday that will change my course of action, then I’ll let you know. Continued prayers as I journey through this.

Jer. 30:17 “For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the LORD; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.”

Where Do The Funds Go?

Ecc.3:3 “A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;”

Where Do The Funds Go

I’m sure you’re wondering, why donate? Well, let me tell you. Any money you send me is going directly to food that I can’t afford on an income of Social Security. I myself cannot get SS disability because the only jobs I’ve ever had were taking care of the elderly, cleaning houses for meager pennies, so I have zero put into SS so I can receive nothing! Hubby is disabled and yes, he's worked all of his life to be able to receive the meager S.S. payment and few hours a week allowed by our lovely government. So where does that leave penniless cancer patients? In the cold, that's where!

Here’s the thing, when I was younger I gave my life over to God. I didn’t go halfway in I went all in. I always walked differently than any fellow walkers of God that I knew. When He says own nothing, I basically took that literal and to this day I own NOTHING. I always said that God will provide and sustain me and at times it has been hard driving that into people but God has NEVER let me down. God has and will continue to provide for me even now, whether you donate or not. 

Just like now, I have no money to beat cancer. I don’t have a savings account, fancy cars, I don’t own a home, we rent this little house out here on a rundown Turkey Ranch. Am I ashamed or embarrassed? Not at all, this was provided by God so why would I be ashamed? I wrote about it a few years ago. 

I totally get that people work hard all of their life for nice fancy stuff, big fancy house, top of the line vehicles, all the best of clothing, but that is who you are not who I am. I own nothing but own everything, to me. I have a roof over my head, I have all I need and have never lived to own all the things that I might someday WANT. I’m content on living, NOW!

So why beg for money if God can provide everything for me? Sometimes God uses people and their illness to bring out the true colors in people. We’re living in times where we don’t have time to hoard all of our riches and stow away our valuables, they ARE NOT GOING WITH YOU. Point blank, your materials will be dust in the earth.

When you see a homeless man on the corner and you drop him a dollar, that is a million bucks to him! To you, it is chump change but to him it is sustenance. That’s why I’m out here begging for money, so I can add a couple more years to my life to do God’s work. 

I need to be on this no carb, no sugar, no dairy diet for at least two years for it to beat the cancerous cells lurking inside of me. Add to that my dietary supplements and it’s going to be a costly journey. One that I’m taking you on with me and hopefully changing some peoples lives along the way. I’m a pioneer of sorts, showing you the way to adding years to your life. I’m going to take what I’m learning and pass it on to you and it will be a much cheaper solution than all that is offered out there because let's face it, you don’t have the money either.

A fruit and vegetable diet is costly especially if you go organic to keep all of the chemicals out of your system that feeds the cancer cells. When you help me, you’re helping every single person who is changed by what I’m writing. Just like when you hand a homeless person money, that money goes to a proprietor, who pays his employees, who has that job to feed THEIR families. So when you help one, you’re really helping many. Think about that.

Just like me, the vitamins I’m buying are not from the mega stores such as WalMart, or GNC, they’re from a health and nutrition supplement store that just opened and are trying to get their leg up on the market. I realize Nebraska is not the health state of the nation. They’re all about GMO’s, pesticides, processed food and unhealthy eating. Maybe that’s why this is the only supplement store around for forty miles. (a GNC store opened recently and is quite close but I haven’t checked them out yet.) 

Don’t get me wrong, I love Nebraska and the moral compass that I don’t see in other states I've been to, but the moral compass isn’t going to free me of cancer, only healthy eating will do that and healthy eating cost money, money I don’t have. Where do the funds go? To food and supplements! You’re allowing me to live. 

I bought a head of cauliflower, a bag of baby carrots, and a handful of brussel sprouts. I made up SEVEN baggies, and that fed me for SEVEN days! As this journey progresses I’m going to give you my recipes I've found, modified because of money, but still good to eat and filling. All this to add years to my life and possibly yours. You can modify my recipe to suit your taste if you want. 

Right now I’m on: turmeric, selenium, Cureamed (that’s a curcumin supplement), Vit. C (1000 mg powder) Iodine, and my B12 stress tablets. It’s a lot to take and in two months I’ll run out UNLESS I get more help and I’m positive God will provide! I’ll only give out my mailing address if asked. My email address is jonismuse@yahoo.com. I’m here and I am alive with God!

I’m going to put together a book called Beating Cancer on a Budget and in two years when I’ve beat this, I will seek a publisher for it! I have goals, I have a plan but most of all I have a wonderfully AWESOME and most AMAZING God who thought enough of me to tap me on the shoulder and say, “Wake up girl!” And now I’m awake and LIVING! God Bless you all! Thank you for your support. 

Pss. 30:2 “O LORD my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me.”  

I'm Alive!

Prov. 16:24 “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.”

I’m Alive!

Every morning I wake I want to shout out the door, I’m Alive! I don’t do it for obvious reasons so I just take a moment before placing my feet on the floor and say, thank you Lord, for granting me another day.

It has been three weeks since my diagnosis and while the medical community thought my illness was theirs to control, I asserted my body and took control of something I lost on the day of diagnosis. Since I’m a victim of sexual abuse as a child I’m going to be quite blunt here, I felt as if I had been raped on the day of diagnosis as they whisked me from one test to the other amid tears.

I wasn’t prepared, to say the least, can one ever be? But I seriously thought I was just going in to have my breast exam. I had no idea I was going to need a mammogram, CT scan AND a biopsy all in a succession of tests. I felt violated, I lost control of my body and it felt demeaning. I stayed strong because I had to, I would not succumb again the preying vultures. 

The last I saw or heard from the Breast Cancer doctor was moments before I was wheeled off to my mammogram when she said, “We’ll be with you all the way.” That was three weeks ago. She was the doctor my General Practitioner sent me to, her ‘colleague’. 

A week after the BC doctor visit, in comes the Oncologist to pressure me and make me feel even less in control when she uttered the words chemotherapy. The last I’ve seen or heard from her was two weeks ago. Oh, her navigator person has been in contact putting a little pressure on me to decide even though I asked REPEATEDLY about alternative treatment. The oncologist informed the BC doctor that, “Joni is not committing.” 

So the BC doctor had a person at the desk (there were five receptionists when I went in for my initial visit) call me telling me I needed to make an appointment. Doc. wanted to talk to me. I said I would call back. Tuesday of this week after navigator lady called to put the pressure on me, I told her BC doctor wanted to see me and after I see her, I’d get back to her, the navigator lady. I called BC doctor to make an appointment and one of her five receptionist said she’d call me back. She needed to see how much time to put me in for with the doctor. It’s Friday, she never called back.

Tuesday at five, my phone rang and it went to voicemail before I had the chance to pick it up. It was my General Practitioner calling to see how I was and if there was anything she could do for me. She even left me her cell phone number. I cried. This is the FIRST doctor who actually took the time out of their day to PERSONALLY call me!

I didn’t call her but by Thursday she made another call. She’s persistent but I needed that at that point and time. I called the office, the Desk Lady said that the doctor would like to see me, for a follow-up visit, a wellness visit (my guess, anything to get me into the office to see if I’m okay.) I began to cry, “Can you ask her if she is going to abandon me?” 

Desk Lady didn’t understand, but I went on to tell her basically what I told you above, I felt abandoned by the medical community because I uttered the words Alternative Treatment. She sounded not surprised at all and said, “It is YOUR body! You need to do what YOU want.” I told her that was the first time in three weeks I’ve heard those words from ANY of the offices! We’ll get you in here Tuesday of next week, she offered.

I don’t know about you but Dr. appointments are usually hard to come by but this place actually has walk in visits. This doctor has to be as busy as any other doctor but there was an opening on Tuesday in a couple of different time slots convenient to ME.

My mind suddenly began to spin paranoia webs of background deceit brought on by no other than the dark one. “Was she acting on BC doctor’s orders to put pressure on me? Is this all about who makes the dollar off of my Breast Cancer?” I immediately thought of my dream the other night where the webs were sucked from my system tossed into the sea.  

I felt a relief wash over me, I was back in control and someone in the form of my General Practitioner was out there, waiting to see me and willing to listen. That’s all I want in this mess of confusion is for someone to listen to me. I don’t want her to say what I want to hear, I want to listen to her too and see what she has to say about all of this. 

Chris Wark of Chris Beat Cancer is just ONE of the thousands of testimonials against chemotherapy. He’s not a new age guru, he’s a colon cancer SURVIVOR! People will never hear these testimonials because cancer is a BILLION dollar industry that doesn’t WANT you to hear them. Listen, I am not treading lightly in my decision, trust me, having three members die in one year is weighing heavily on my decision. They chose THEIR path and I am choosing my path! I walk hand-in-hand with God my heavenly Father! We’ve got this. I'm ALIVE!

Isa. 6:10 “Make the heart of this people fat, and make their ears heavy, and shut their eyes; lest they see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart, and convert, and be healed.”

I Had A Dream

Prov. 16:24 “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.”

I Had A Dream

My dreams of late have become increasingly strange and last night's dream was no different. My subconscious is working overtime here lately with the diagnosis of the Big C. 

Do you remember in childhood cartoons the big refuse trucks? They looked like big vacuums, big hoses placed over the sewage and when turned on the sewage was sucked through the tube? 

I have to say first since I grew up on the Eastern portion of the US that the ocean was a yearly visit and sometimes twice a year since it was only a two or three-hour drive from my house. I grew up in Baltimore Maryland where the Inner Harbor goes right out to the Chesapeake Bay. Ocean City, Maryland was our yearly vacation spot. The great memories, the sand between my toes and the family together. Yes, the family.

Well, my dreams of late for some reason have me near the ocean, in a house right on the beach with crashing waves, salt taste in my mouth and the grit when I wash my hair. Last night I was in that beach house when a big smelly refuse truck pulled up to the house. 

A big burly man got out of the truck. I didn’t recognize him but he had sandy blonde wavy close-cropped hair and the infamous farmer Bob jeans. He knocked on the door and informed me he was here to clean the house out. I know I looked at him puzzled when he told me to go in and relax it won’t hurt a bit. 

I went and relaxed on the sofa as the big old vacuum churned into action. With the door open, he held the hose to the front door, not very far from me. Suddenly things started flying by me. Not furniture but tiny cells, fungus, strands of molecular disease, spores of mold and anything foreign that was disease ridden. They were being sucked out of the entire house including my body. 

It was so strange seeing spider web like strands being sucked from my mouth but I just sat in amazement that there was a successful way to be rid of all this disease. The sound lasted for what seemed like hours but more than likely minutes as germ after toxic germ was contained in this big sewage truck. 

The noise stopped, he waved to me and yelled out, “All clean!” and I watched as he revved the truck engine. With eyes on the long pier, I stood aghast at the thought of what this man was about to do.  

He sped down the pier I know hitting top speeds for a refuse truck and just at the end of the pier the truck leaped off of the end of the pier and descended into the ocean sinking to the bottom. I felt I was out of my body watching this in slow-motion. 

I was frantic, what did he just do? I ran to the end of the pier tossing out life preservers but I knew he didn’t get out of the truck in time but I didn’t give up hope as I saw helicopters fly into the position of retrieving the body alive or dead. 

“He died for you,” kept playing like a choir of angels in my ears. He died for you, He died for you. I woke but it was too early to get up so I tried to go back to sleep and bring the dream back, all I could get from the continued dream was veiled curtains blowing in the sea breeze, sun shining through the window and me, resting on the bed exhausted. All disease sucked out of me and the tiring months I spent fighting flashing in my mind. I rested; I cradled my covers and rested.

My husband entered the room as well as our sister-in-law. I don’t know why they showed up but they did and I could hear them talking about the miracle they had just witnessed. I rested, listened and rested. 

I finally woke after a wonderful eight hours of sleep and knew I had to write this down before I forgot but the images feel so fresh as if I’m reliving the dream over and over again in my waking hours.

I’ll take my walk today and relive that miracle of all disease being sucked from my body and being tossed out to sea by the one and only Man I know who died for me in my lifetime. 

I’m feeling good. My spirits are high and this is what I want to feel all the way up to my last day. I feel disheartened by the medical community but who isn’t? They were trained to care for patients when the majority of the time, they are just there to write a prescription and send you on your way. 

Yesterday I got a phone call from my General Practitioner, who was the original doctor who set all of this in motion for me. She called to see how I was doing and asked if there was anything she could do for me. I cried. I feel like the medical community is in cahoots and all have just fallen short of offering me anything of value after I uttered those words NO CHEMO and Alternative Medicine. Then she called, left a message, and offered her heart. I’m amazed. 

I am truly blessed in this journey, no matter what the turnout, I am truly blessed and I say that upon waking every single morning. May you all feel the blessings of each and every day. Cancer is NOT a death sentence; it is a new lease on life! THAT is how I see it! Thank you, Jesus!

Prov. 4:22 “For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.”

Time...

Isa. 58:8 “Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the LORD shall be thy reward.”

Time...

Do you remember the days where you took a test in school; you were sitting there sweating and looking at the clock, tapping your pencil on the desk, tripping over questions and answers as if your shoelaces were tied together? Do you remember the anxiety as the clock ticked and tocked and you were still sitting there with questions unanswered?

That’s what it’s like when you’re diagnosed with cancer or any other life altering illness I imagine, you keep looking at the time. Time, seconds turn into minutes, minute’s turn into hours and before you know it…the day is over, time has run out. 

Every second becomes more precious in each day and you wonder did you study hard enough to pass the test or did you just ‘wing it’? While the test in school was to see if you remembered everything you read, the test of life is going to be about you and all the knowledge you’ve gained and what exactly did you do with that knowledge up to those last minutes of your life. 

This is why it is important to make every minute count because you never know if this is your last one on the clock and you don’t get a redo of the test, once the day is over on your biological clock and your called home, is home going to be the place you had tried to attain while your breath sustained you while alive? 

I strive for eternity, not a place where seconds and minutes become days and years, I want time to be erased and live as if eternity is within my grasp. The good news is, eternity IS within my grasp with the saving grace of Jesus. I try to tell everyone else about the eternity we have as part of our biological plan but many are too busy making up for the menial minutes in a physical day to see the picture that’s right before their eyes playing out in front of them. 

My husband’s aunt is in the hospital as I write, hooked up to feeding tubes to keep her alive battling her last days with cancer and chemotherapy. When I asked hubby’s mom if auntie was in hospice, she said no, she’s on the ‘transition’ floor. The transition floor? Out of respect, I didn’t want to ask what a transition floor is but I have a pretty good idea.

A year ago we were sitting with this same aunt as the family was gathered to celebrate Christmas. As we piled bite after unhealthy bite of food on our plates from mashed potatoes to salads, meat and desserts, I watched his aunt speak about battling cancer and listened to her say how it was sucking the life out of her. I asked her if she had heard about turmeric and she said yeah, and that she was taking it, in between globs of potatoes and gravy crossing her lips.

Here’s the thing, chemo is not going to take cancer away, it will give cancer a resting place and that is it until it’s time to wake up again. A pill is not going to take cancer away either. There has to be a life-altering plan of your intake of food that got you to this point of unhealthy living that fed the cancer cells all along. From everything that goes past the lips to everything that comes out the other end, there HAS TO BE a life-altering change! 

I understand that when you hear the word cancer, you automatically think you’re going to die. So, many people go the chemo route trying to add a little more time to clock. It doesn’t add to the clock it takes time away. Time spent hooked up feeding radiation to your system, time spent vomiting, time of worry and stress, time spent going to the doctor, time spent looking for a parking spot! Precious time that is consumed by an illness and a treatment without a cure.

Maybe adding time to the clock should have been your first priority, to begin with. Why did the alarm clock need to go off for me to say hey, wake up, you’re not going to eat the chemical filled processed food? If you think that the processing of the food you eat was brought to you in the cleanliest of fashions, you are sadly mistaken. 

From the steroid injection of the farm animals to bring you a meatier slab of pork, beef, or chicken, to the handling, to the added chemicals of giving food a longer shelf life, to the people who all breathed and touched that pork chop before you purchased it and put it in your mouth! You are what you eat takes on new meaning to me now that I’m battling these nasty little demonic cancer cells!

Cleansing; that is what the soul needs to bide time and nothing else; a mind, body and soul synchronicity cleansing. You can see the detoxifying of the chemical laden body as torture because you’d rather choose to permit the very thing killing you to own you. Or you can take the all important life test without studying for the exam. It’s up to YOU and no one else what you choose to do to pass the exam of eternity. 

I have chosen to do my homework and look forward to exam day, no tapping of the pencil, no tripping over shoelaces, no ticking of the clock. It’s not about taking a vitamin to beat this. Beating cancer is about CHANGE; a swift major shake-up to your everyday living and eating habits. People can’t be bothered by drastic change because it takes up too much time? Well, I’ve got all the time in the world to make a change; time to LIVE! Holistically going to win this battle! 

Jer. 17:14 “Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise.”

And The Beat Goes On...

Pss. 43:5 “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.”

And The Beat Goes On…

Every day I wake up and am grateful for a new day and a new way to fight the cancer. My day begins with prayer, a reading of my Bible Gateway emails, and reflection on what God means to my life. It’s ironic how each new day brings emails, web page landings right in my hand that pertain exactly to me and what I’m going through.

I have my good days and those days are the ones I want to keep fresh in my mind while my bad days are good days where I feel negative people or events tried to wander into the spatial plane of my existence.

In two weeks the positive outweighs the negative by far. One lady friend basically attacked me telling me how wrong I was in making the decision not to do chemo because she’s lost people and cancer is ugly! I wish people would respect me enough to READ my words before berating me with THEIR experience and THEIR opinion as if I didn’t have enough of my own experience to make this judgment call on my own. 

I’ve lost people to cancer too, my husband has lost people to cancer also and I know it is an ugly disease that millions are fighting, struggling, winning and also losing. I KNOW I get it! I am not an uneducated child throwing my hands in the air and stomping in temper tantrum fashion, I get it, CANCER KILLS! In a span of decades, I would say I’ve lost well over 10 people in my family alone to the disease and there could be more that I haven’t heard of.

My day consist of wanting to stay alive! I don’t wake and turn to the nasty habit of eating what I want, drinking what I want, no, I think of my body as a broken machine and it’s in the shop for repair. When your car needs repairs and the mechanic says, “Well ma’am, you need a whole new engine. That’s gonna cost you about five grand.” You think the repairs are not worth it and you just go and buy a new car. Well, I can’t just go and trade my old body in and get a new one. No, I need to repair what I was given.

To ME, chemo is like putting a gas treatment in the gas tank and expecting it to run because you treated it with the best juice on the market. You didn’t weigh your options. The mechanic said you needed this gas treatment and that your car would run good for a little while, so you took his word for it even though he just told you that you needed an entire engine!

Sometimes people don’t trust themselves because we’re supposed to trust the mechanic or doctor who has been trained in their field of expertise. How many of you have taken your car in and when told that you needed an entire engine, decided on a second opinion and were told that it was fixable for a much cheaper price. You took their word because they HAVE to be right, right? 

I’m all about trust. Since my abusive childhood (read my entire blog) I’ve had many years of being leery and mistrusting people and having to go with my God given instinct. Something feels wrong about this big C diagnosis, I do not trust the rush, rush, hasty decisions that are making me feel uneasy.

One day the diagnosis, the very next week the oncologist, and that visit was all about starting chemo two days later. Wow, what a week. My mind didn’t even have time to let the diagnosis set in and they were already making plans for a port to be installed and begin chemo treatments, how I’d lose my hair and be sick but we’ll give you pills for the sickness. When I said, “WHOA, hold on there, Silver.” The oncologist told the initial BC doctor from the first-week diagnosis that I was not committing. What does that even mean?

When the navigator lady called on Monday (the 6th) she asked me where I was leaning and what were my thoughts. I told her I was considering the PET scan but I was working on getting my body, mind, and spirit in sync with all of this information. I need my body READY if it is ABSOLUTELY necessary to get chemo or any other radiation (PET SCAN). I’m still not getting clear answers on that one. One day my cancer is ‘not aggressive’ the next ‘mildly aggressive’, could you be more specific? I told her she could call me call Friday. 

Friday came, yesterday I woke feeling great as usual, happy to be alive one more day and praising the One who made it all possible. I took a shower, woke Adam and asked if he’d drive me to the store to pick up money (thank you, God) and to get some more veggies for my new way of living. I came home happy as a penguin sliding on the ice. I was gearing up for my walk when the phone rang, must be navigator lady, I thought. 

List of characters: Onc. – oncologist, navigator- works for Onc. and is supposed to help and guide me, BC- Breast Cancer specialist doctor who gave me the news of BC. Joni- That’d be me, the one in the background. 

“Hello?”
“Hi, this is the ‘BC Doctor’s office, the doctor would like to schedule you for an appointment.”
“For what?” I was totally broadsided on this one, I was expecting navigator lady from the oncologist office. 
“The oncologist informed BC doctor that you were not willing to commit.”
“To what?” I asked. 
“To your chemotherapy treatments.” Silence over the phone as she read the note Onc. had sent to BC doctor. “I’m sorry, I was just reading the note that Onc. sent to BC.”
“I thought navigator lady was going to call me today. I told her I needed time, and we were working toward a solution. I need a moment,” silence as I had to wrap my brain around what was going on, “I have to call you back.”

I hung up the phone feeling anger, anxiety, and perplexity along with a tinge of betrayal. I thought navigator lady was working with me, but obviously, after our call on Monday, she went and told Onc. that, “Nope, Joni isn’t falling for our scam we’re trying to pull on her.”

I was actually ready to tell navigator lady to set me up for the PET scan, but apparently, we’re all playing a different game here. I could not call navigator lady right then because my blood was boiling, my temperature rising and my heart went into overtime. “Well, there goes my walk.” I couldn’t even wrap my mind around taking my little walk.

This is what I’m up against. I’m being as open and honest in conveying my feelings but they are NOT hearing me and only have tunnel vision for what THEY want done. Why can’t we work together for a positive outcome here, why is it your way or no way at all? How come when I ask about vitamin C treatments they quickly, hastily brush off what I said and say, “We don’t do that here!” I’ll tell you why they’re realizing I’m doing my homework on this disease. I’m educating myself in treatments that are out there. I’m asking them to embrace something that is foreign to them and that is moving forward in the steps that it will take to eradicate cancer.

“We don’t do that here.” That means to me, we just do chemo and if you don’t agree with us on chemo, we have to send you back to the BC doctor and let her time and money be wasted on you. Our time IS money, see ya! 

That is exactly the way I’m feeling I’m being treated. I will call the BC doctor on Monday and set up an appointment and hear what she has to say, as for navigator lady, if she calls Monday I’ll think of something creative to say, you all know me.  *wink*

Pss. 107:20 “He sent his word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.”

I Choose To Believe

Gen. 15:6 "And he believed in the LORD; and he counted it to him for righteousness."

I Choose To Believe

I have a new favorite movie, it’s titled Little Boy and it’s about faith, racism, hate, love and belief. It shows the strength of one little boy who gains faith so that he can move mountains AND that he can will his father home from the war. I like this show so much that I watch it over and over again when I feel doubt seeping into my life and it pulls me out of the mire. 

As you should know by now I have been diagnosed with cancer; Her2 positive stage 3. The first day I was told I was devastated because like you, the word cancer elicits fear and immediately the word death falls from your lips. How do I know? I’ve had too many people in my life fall victim and die that’s how. ALL chose chemo, ALL are now deceased. 

The next day I woke up empowered to change this diagnosis and fight it head on. It’s no different than Christ calling you into battle and you either fall to the sheep and follow behind what the majority of men and women on this earth would do, or you take up arms and fight for Him.

I drastically halted my lifestyle in one day; no sugars and no carbs. Had I done this sooner, I might not be here writing about this diagnosis but it is what it is and here I am finding a way to LIVE. What I found with this shift was that I had no food to eat. I looked in the fridge and there was food, but the meat was chemically enhanced for taste, the cheese processed, the boxed food all had chemicals that would feed the cancer, even the vegetables were chemically treated with toxins for better growth and sprayed with pesticides, rinsing them, soaking them in vinegar is not going to take out what was put into something as simple as a carrot. 

I went through the week nibbling on toxins until I could find a weapon on the battleground. Organic, cancer-fighting techniques that could actually STOP the progress of all the toxins I’d had in my body. I would halt the growth of the cancer that I was feeding on a daily basis. The little YouCaringFund is essential in helping me in this battle! I thank each and every one of you for fighting this battle WITH me not against me. I love you!

What I’m finding out is that we all have the cancer cells dormant in our body and it's just a matter of time until they wake up and decide to take over all the cells in your body until you no longer have a defense mechanism in place. That small lump is fed day after day by your chemically treated water, your nice big fat juicy steak that was shot up with steroids, your vegetables that were sprayed with toxic chemicals before they were processed and treated to another chemical treatment so they last longer on the shelf.

You’ll say you don’t agree with the way our food is chemically treated, yet day after day your placing chemicals and toxins in your body that you think is good food because you think it was properly handled. Just how was that fish caught out in the Pacific Ocean tasting until the thought of Fukushima Japan had a chemical leak popped into your head? You rinsed it? You cleaned it? And that made it all better? I guess the poison didn’t get into the meat of the fish, huh? 

The following week after my diagnosis, I was told that chemotherapy would be used in the fight of my cancer. Wait a minute, it is the toxins and chemicals in the food and water that got me here and I’m supposed to just let you shoot me up with more toxins and radiation?  I might as well eat all of the Pacific Ocean fish I can, it’s not going to hurt me right? Radiation is good, right?

Research, that’s what I need and you know what I found out? Radiation is not good. Radiation will kill the cancer cells but it will also kill any other immune-boosting cells I have. More research, page after page, hour after hour, the result? I can beat cancer without chemotherapy. Chemotherapy is the LAST resort, not the FIRST resort. 

If you can go into battle with vitamins, oils and hoop-de-la witch doctor fanatics (that’s what everyone believes self-treatment is really) why are people still dying of cancer? Let me put it this way, just because you took the fish out of the water and cleaned him up, it isn’t fighting what built up his muscle throughout his life. 

Holistic healing is just that, HEALING the meat on my body from within with God given herbs, fruits, and vegetables that were essentially put here for us to nurture our bodies with. The almighty dollar got in the way as the government allowed its people to be slowly deprived of the real nutrition that would sustain our life. They shot up our cows and pigs and poultry and gardens as well as our waterways with TOXIC CHEMICALS. We are now junkies relying on our fix and I am fighting back just as any other drug addict would. Do they treat drug addicts with chemo? No, why not? 

Cancer is NOT a death sentence, it is a wake-up call! Am I going to die? Yes, I am but I will go out fighting! Are you going to die? Most definitely, you don’t know when or how no more than I do. Do I want to live? Most definitely, just as much as you do but I’m taking action right now right this minute as I purify my system not toxify. If I continue in cleaning up my body the old way with toxins and poisons, vitamins and supplements will never reach the portion of my biological chemistry that's needed to change the outcome.

Remember, cleaning off the fish is not going to make him healthy enough to eat, he has to be cleansed from the INSIDE and there is only one way to do that, counterattack the toxins in his system. Fish need to be nourished not destroyed. Man needs to start tending his garden now not shooting up to get his fix for another day. 

Back to the movie Little Boy, he believed! He believed he could end the war, he believed he could will his father home, he believed! He had the faith of a mustard seed and that is all we’re asked to have. I BELIEVE I can beat this! I BELIEVE I can win the battle! I don’t believe in chemo so how is that going to help me? I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE!

p.s. If you have a negative opinion and goes against what I BELIEVE please keep it to yourself. It’s not helping, it only adds negativity to an ocean of positivity. 

Top Ten Trigger List

acidic vs akaline

An alkaline chart:

Matt. 17:20  "And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you."

Moving Along With Cancer

Matt. 14:14 "And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick."

Moving Along with Cancer

I’d like to first share the Sunday mother-in-law visit. I had told her not to come with pity on her shoulders and she stayed true to form. While I know she is a very emotional person and can drop a tear quicker than you can bat an eyelash, she stayed a pillar of strength that I’ve come to know and love.

She more or less came to understand where I am coming from and I think I assured her that this decision of not going the chemo route was not entered into lightly and that God himself is the one encouraging me and keeping me looking up, not down.

She came bearing a Primrose plant and a smile. As we sat at the table and she asked how I was doing and I told her good, she looked doubtful and began to well up. I jumped into preacher mode. “Really I’m fine. No, the news wasn’t good, but the way I’m handling this shift in my lifestyle is pretty amazing.” The tear never made it out of her eyes, I had shocked her I think.

I went on to talk about the chemo effects and I mentioned how her sister-in-law was lying in the very position I never want to be in, with tubes feeding me and laying there waiting to die. She admitted only knowing two or three people who’ve fought the battle and outwardly are showing signs of winning the battle, but I wonder what those people live like daily. Drugs? Medication? What are they doing to keep the cancer from coming back? Relying on drugs or have they too had a major lifestyle change?

As hard as it may be to face the truth, I know for a fact of three people in her life who lost the battle or are losing the battle as I write. Am I wrong for not wanting to become one of those statistics? She even told me to my face that if she found out today that she had cancer, she don’t think she’d do the chemo. I don’t know if she was just saying that to console me or if she was seriously thinking that at 71 years of age, to her it might not be worth the fight.

I know I’m only fifty years old and the chemo might be a route someone my age would jump at, but my lifestyle of sugars and high carb living has abruptly come to halt. I am on an attack the immune system mode with greens, not fake or frozen, the real deal. And as you can imagine the vegetables are almost as expensive as the essential supplements I need to win this race.

My friends are pulling through for me along with two (count 'em, TWO) family members who have reached out to help monetarily or any other way they can. I don’t think people realize that the smallest dipping into helping me is helping me in a major way. 

You don’t have to go the pay pal route in helping me, if you’re in a pharmacy and see some Vit. C, omega3 vitamins, iodine, calcium, magnesium, curcumin or selenium you’d like to pick up for me and mail to me, just ask for my address. I have an arsenal I’m using and I only have so far a months supply and if I don’t get more, well you know, nothing good will come of that. I’m even accepting cards (virtual or physical) of well-wishes or loving words of encouragement. This is a tough battle that I wouldn’t wish on anyone and to go it alone? No way! 

If you look at that picture of me and think she’s a beautiful lady, know that there isn’t one false hair on my head. I’ve cut my own hair since I was about thirteen, and it is only lightened by the suns caressing rays. I wouldn’t know what a manicure or a pedicure are (never appealed to me). All of my life all that I’ve ever strived for was being a child of God and NOT of this world. What you see is a woman who’s first crush was Christ and it still tickles me at the thought of Him opening the door for me when I reach heaven’s gate. 

I am a selfless soul that will march on in a storm of blazing Glory fighting this battle before me. I will praise God for every soul who is drawn to me and for the ones who fear me. I will not hold any bitterness towards the family members who feel nothing for me. My apologies, this battle is not about you and what I did or didn’t do right for you, this is about the battle to stay alive for my husband and my son. 

The ‘navigator’ lady called me yesterday as I was veggie shopping; as my phone rang my heart started beating faster, my palms went sweaty and I almost vomited in WalMart as the anxiety took hold of my being. I turned my phone off only to turn it back on to call my mother last evening. 

I calmed down only after returning home and realizing I am loved, I have veggies, vitamins and I’m going to win this battle! 

She called this morning and I was in fighting mode. I spit questions at her immediately. What stage of cancer is this? 
"She don't know yet, it IS HER2 positive". (That tells me a lot)
How is Vitamin C considered alternative medicine? 
“We don’t do that here.” 
Is chemotherapy going to cure me? * silence * Silence that lasted too long, “I’m writing.” I assumed taking notes for her line of defense. And so the story goes. She has all of the answers for the chemo treatment but has nothing for a defense to my inquisitive mind. I did tell her that this is my body and my fight, I need someone who can work with me on a mutual conclusion. 
“Did you want to get a second opinion?”
And so the fun of the merry-go-round begins. 

She did return a call and said she had more answers for me. Obviously, I hit her with so many questions, she needed time to research the answers. A war of wits? I let it go to voicemail as I need peace and calm before I can listen to her rhetoric again. 

Positive thoughts and prayers PLEASE. This whole situation is trying to grate on my serene power of healing and I WILL NOT let it in! God and His army of angels surround me! We’ve seen this battle before! 

Think of cancer as an enemy that is attacking your cells from the inside, standing up and shouting, “We own you!” Think of detoxifying your body as a way of saying “NO! Green (organic) vegetables own me!” Bread doesn’t own me, pasta or sugar are not my friends and meat, unless it is pasture fed on non-chemically treated grounds is toxins that cancer LOVES to breed in. 

My battlefield, for now, is GREEN and Grace! And I can honestly say this is the best I’ve ever felt in my life! 

My arsenal:

10 Natural Cance Treatments 

Cancer Tutor

The Truth About Cancer

Holistic Protocol

Chris Beat Cancer

Iodine

Alternative Breast Cancer Treatment

And a host of other sites and avenues that will become links on my page very soon!

If my journey saves ONE life, then it's a journey worth traveling!

God Bless you all!

~ I Hit The Nail On The Head ~

Pss, 31:3 “For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name's sake lead me, and guide me.”

I Hit The Nail on the Head

People are afraid because all along they are proclaiming a strong faith in the Lord, but with my illness and the route I’m taking is having them question where all of MY faith in God comes from, they might be a little puzzled. It may have them questioning their OWN faith and where their allegiance stands. My friend told me I have an infectious faith and if that is what God is using me for then I am honored. 

I feel sorry for the ones who think money is going to buy them life. The more they spend the more they think disease and illness will stay away. They think the more insurance they have will save them in the end. They’ve put their faith in the Almighty Dollar saving them and not the Almighty Lord and Creator who has the actual POWER to save!

I could sign up for years worth of chemo, radiation and breast slaughter but you know, I could be hit by a car in mid-treatment and left for dead. If I ever did decide to go the chemo route you might as well think me dead. I will pull out of sight, I will stop writing my thoughts and keep it all to myself. You’ll look for me but the shredded remnants will be long gone. I’ll wither and die having all hope lost to the pressure of what YOU (man) want for me and not what ‘I’ want. 

Let me ask you this, why did or would you sign up for chemo? For you, your family, to add a few extra years to your life? If you cry for me as I’m making the hardest decision of my life, is it sorrow for yourself for what you could have done, pity that you didn’t do more or the feeling that you’ve lost control of a situation.

Rom 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

https://www.youcaring.com/jonibrandt-750269

Life is difficult and full of trials and we are to consider it joy because our God is exceedingly good. We mature through trials. The trials in our life are the tools God uses to make us the people he needs us to be. God uses you to show others His light and love and the surrounding joy by God making himself available to YOU. 

Jame 1:2-4 “My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”

I cry out, 'I believe but help my unbelief.' You have the faith but you hear doubt. This is normal as God is building His palace in us. He is using you to bring a light to the world. God is the author and perfector of our faith.

The social media scene like facebook, twitter, Instagram and YouTube are lead sources of depression. Why because you’re always comparing yourself to others. You’re down while others are having the time of their lives. They put on their happy faces when in reality they are having their own struggle but you can’t see through the fog-filled false barriers they’ve built.

Today is one of those days. Superbowl parties will be had, food will be eaten and drinks will be gulped. It’s the good life, high and mighty, happy as a springtime lark. People will drive home drunk, punches will be thrown, guns will be pulled and people will die. That’s the fact! People from around the world in all walks of life will focus more on material obsessions than the reality of life being the ultimate end.

James 1:6-8 “But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.”

I can honestly say about the social media that it has been a lifeline for me to have virtual friends surround me and lift me in my darkest hours. I understand why some stay away, they think if they act like they don’t care the ‘c’ word won’t infect their lives or maybe they really don’t care. They have their own lives to worry about. Sorry people, we live in a toxic world and your days are as numbered as mine. 

I’ve done a lot of research this past week and I’ve found some interesting tidbits. The cancer in me has been there as a tiny dust mote for eleven years or more, fertilized by the toxicity of the air I breathe and the unhealthy food I ate. With every breath and with every bite I nurtured its growth.

Now that the Conventional Clan (doctors) know that it is there, they all want to ‘help’. It’s like a person who wins a million dollars, friends and relatives all crawl out of the woodwork wanting a piece of the pie. In my case, they want to slice and dice me to charge the insurance while dipping into MY pie. (please, no pie jokes.)

If I hear one more time that they have made great strides in the cancer community, I may begin to allow anger to spew right into someone’s face, and we all know I am not about anger, I’m about HOPE! What strides? I’m a week into my research, the doctor’s who said we’ll be here for you, we’ll walk with you through this, have not contacted me once! All that my oncologist offered was chemotherapy, drugs for the sickness I’d feel, surgery and more drugs, then a year of radiation. Mind you, the drugs offered me come with those tiny print warnings about liver damage, suicidal tendencies, etc etc. 

Let me ask, how is that a ‘great stride’ from when you were treated? What is different? Are you now the picture of health, no sicknesses, no health issues? Did the chemo NOT destroy your immunity? 

My mother-in-law will come out to my house today to hug me. She needs that and honestly, I think I do too because all of these virtual hugs go right through me. (pun intended!) Today’s sermon was about attitudes changing everything. If my MIL needs to see me and hug me to help her deal and change her attitude about ANYthing, then I’m all for it. I’ll let you know how it goes. 

Tomorrow is the assigned day that the navigator lady will call and try to guilt me into getting a PET scan (yeah, send radiation into my body) and to talk about the port I’ll need for chemo. You see, just those words alone freak me out. Gee lady, can I have more time, can I get another opinion, are there no other options? 

You tell people you want to go holistic, and they say I’ll pray you ask God for guidance. What? Like this thought just jumped in my head, and I’m jumping off a bridge with no bungee cord to spring me back to reality? I’ve been praying, I came to this decision with HIM in mind, not you, not my family, not even me, with HIM! My goal in life is Him so whatever I need to reach that goal is between Him and Me.

Some will see it as courageous, some will see it as bravery, I see it as FAITH in the Almighty. God will allow you to rummage through this fantasy world, hiding behind virtual games, TV shows, and denial but eventually we will ALL need to see HIM as the end game, some sooner than others. 

My message to you is this, if you’re not here for me in life as I minister to the WORD, please don’t appear after I’m gone asking what you could have done differently. Turn to HIM and try to understand exactly what His will is in YOUR life. He’s calling you and you need to hear. He’s calling me and I’m listening.

May the God of Life and Joy Be With you all!