Poetry Sunday ~ Soul Harvest

Gen. 8:22 “While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease.”

Soul Harvest

The time is near, the hour nigh 

Moonbeams droop in a blackened sky 

Blazing sun scorches the land 

Earth erupts in a quivering stand 

Encircling us is ravaging hate

Lust and greed severs our fate 

I sit and watch as lives unravel 

The boulder of strength now merely gravel 

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust

Souls bewildered by mistrust 

Doubt and fear, they give rise 

To muted pleas and mournful cries

As souls ascend and souls descend 

It is our own that we must mend

Bringing forth joy, love and peace 

The decorum of beauty will never cease

Firmly tread as the time is here 

To boldly proclaim, all we revere 

The harvest of souls its beckoning plea 

It's craving you; devouring me

Come forth and share your wholesome beauty

Unleash love, as is our duty 

Reap what you sow, seek and find 

Then you my friend, won't be left behind. 

Copyright ©joni zipp

Rev. 14:15 “And another angel came out of the temple, crying with a loud voice to him that sat on the cloud, Thrust in thy sickle, and reap: for the time is come for thee to reap; for the harvest of the earth is ripe.”

I wrote this many years ago and have posted it before but this seems timely to this very day. God Bless you all.

Quotation Saturday

Acts 18:9 “Then spake the Lord to Paul in the night by a vision, Be not afraid, but speak, and hold not thy peace:”

OBSCURED

“Even the darkest cloud cannot obscure the brightest light.” 
― Ken Poirot

“Writers whose thoughts are expressed with clarity and precision are assumed by readers to be superficial. Where the meaning is obscured, then readers give more attention and consider the fruit of their labour more valuable” 
― Friedrich Nietzsche

“You can't be successful if you are good at hiding yourself! Be success minded; think about uncovering what you know, what you have, and what you have to know for the comfort, inspiration and enlightenment of others!” 
― Israelmore Ayivor

“If you don't want to be average, don't rush into doing what the crowd is doing” 
― Constance Chuks Friday

BLIND

“If the Creator stood before a million men with the light of a million lamps, only a few would truly see him because truth is already alive in their hearts. Truth can only be seen by those with truth in them. He who does not have Truth in his heart, will always be blind to it.” 
― Suzy Kassem

“Sometimes your light shines so bright that it blinds people from seeing who you really are.” 
― Shannon L. Alder

“A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.” 
― H.L. Mencken

“So blind is the curiosity by which mortals are possessed, that they often conduct their minds along unexplored routes, having no reason to hope for success, but merely being willing to risk the experiment of finding whether the truth they seek lies there.” 
― René Descartes

CLARITY

“Appearance blinds, whereas words reveal.” 
― Oscar Wilde

“A solid answer to everything is not necessary. Blurry concepts influence one to focus, but postulated clarity influences arrogance.” 
― Criss Jami

“When people will not weed their own minds, they are apt to be overrun by nettles.” 
― Horace Walpole

“...it is precisely because the world appears to us to be multiple, ambiguous, and paradoxical, that we must strive to speak and write clearly.” 
― Mark Dintenfass

VISION

“The most pathetic person in the world is some one who has sight but no vision.” 
― Helen Keller

“Never surrender your hopes and dreams to the fateful limitations others have placed on their own lives. The vision of your true destiny does not reside within the blinkered outlook of the naysayers and the doom prophets. Judge not by their words, but accept advice based on the evidence of actual results. Do not be surprised should you find a complete absence of anything mystical or miraculous in the manifested reality of those who are so eager to advise you. Friends and family who suffer the lack of abundance, joy, love, fulfillment and prosperity in their own lives really have no business imposing their self-limiting beliefs on your reality experience.” 
― Anthon St. Maarten

“Throughout the centuries there were men who took first steps down new roads armed with nothing but their own vision. Their goals differed, but they all had this in common: that the step was first, the road new, the vision unborrowed, and the response they received — hatred. The great creators — the thinkers, the artists, the scientists, the inventors — stood alone against the men of their time. Every great new thought was opposed. Every great new invention was denounced. The first motor was considered foolish. The airplane was considered impossible. The power loom was considered vicious. Anesthesia was considered sinful. But the men of unborrowed vision went ahead. They fought, they suffered and they paid. But they won.” 
― Ayn Rand,

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.” 
― Albert Einstein

The Fog

Pss. 71:1 “In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust: let me never be put to confusion.”

The heavy fog sneaked in on the sixth of January, a cold eerie evening. Hanging around smothering the atmosphere blinding any visual sight of land out there in the icy frost. The seventh day of January felt like a suffocating mass filled with darkness, fog looming in a mirage of moisture. I only wish that I were exaggerating. 

My day began with the Lord piercing through the mist to allow me to see Him while the demon fog was filled with trying to cloud my mind. The dark one seems to be mounting an army trying to attack the Christ bearers of this world.

The bellows of satan's bowels were unleashed in a comment section of a facebook post that had me immediately praying for the lost soul. 

Kiler wrote: death and suffering have been our constant companions.
I am talking about real suffering
If you can sit around all day and write and play on fake book
If you can type you ARE NOT SUFFERING
I am talking about tripping over dead bodies suffering

I thought for sure that this man must live in war-torn Iraq living in the throes of an ISIS assault but upon further inspection of this man he is from Oregon. It startled me to think that in Oregon, he is tripping over dead bodies? Boy, my writing talent went into overdrive with the possible stories hidden behind this obscured soul.

These comments were targeted at me and you can only imagine what he unleashed on others as he spewed his hatred. His anger filled rant on an innocent beloved author had me reminded of the fog that hung around for most of the day yesterday. This was the culmination of a darkened day.

I was instantly reminded of the reason I steer clear of Facebook and all the antics. As I try to casually visit once a day, I’m always smacked with heinous behavior. No matter how good and precious you are to the Lord, satan is always one step in front as it has been since the beginning of time as he lured Eve away from innocence.

The fog was a pretense to hinder my sight. This morning I rose and while the sun was not shining, the Son had already risen and welcomed me to the oncoming day. I breathed a sigh of relief in knowing I am always welcome in the sight of the Lord. 

I notice the world walking around in a fog, preoccupied with what satan has to offer. A click here, a post there, subliminal thoughts here, a judgment call there all wrapped in a fraudulent ornamental box carried off to the masses.

Invisible to the multitude, ignored by many, passed over by the bountiful and forgotten by the manifold, I am alone in my wanderings, never alone in my wondering and embraced by the Almighty. While this New Year of change surrounds me, my words have become plentiful, my thoughts have been laid bare to the naked eye for all to see, and I’m growing daily, replenished by the Light of the Lord while the sun is shielded by cloud cover. 

As you ride ambiguously in the cusp of the unknown, you seem to be catering to the confusion. When you find yourself veering off the beaten path remind yourself daily that God is not a God of confusion. If you don’t see harmonious love surrounding you wherever you may walk: a store, a park, or possibly your church, or whatever you read or see, ask God for guidance and know that you are not and never will be alone in this world. Don’t allow the fog to veil your soul.

Dan. 9:7 “O Lord, righteousness belongeth unto thee, but unto us confusion of faces, as at this day; to the men of Judah, and to the inhabitants of Jerusalem, and unto all Israel, that are near, and that are far off, through all the countries whither thou hast driven them, because of their trespass that they have trespassed against thee.”

This Is The Year

Acts 4:22 “For the man was above forty years old, on whom this miracle of healing was shewed.”

This is the year people point fingers and say there she goes, talking about ME! Rest assured friends, I in no way am targeting any single one of you; actually I am targeting you as a collective whole. If you find what I’m saying to be true or you feel a tinge of guilt, or shivers run up and down your arms like ants on breadcrumbs, then I am reaching YOU!

This is the year of change. I don’t know why I’m clinging to those words but upon rising each morning it feels as each day is a new day to embrace change. What goes in my body, food or drink or what goes in my mind, images or negativity, and what I allow to circle around me!

Things I plan on changing:

I plan on making a change in my writing first and foremost.
I plan on not allowing people and their negative views of the world, cloud mine!
I plan every day to post ‘what’s on my mind’ on facebook not with the annoying tactic of memes but with WORDS, real words! (hopefully)
I plan on using the benefits of twitter more (as a writer)
I plan on making new acquaintances this year that the Lord will lead to me. (or I to them)
I plan on changing the world with my words.

These are just a few things that have begun changing in just seven days of the New Year. They started surfacing in the end of last year but I didn’t feel these changes in my bones until the advent of the New Year.

I swore I would put the mourning-filled year behind me and by daggone it, I will! I got so lost in the grief of the year I forgot to mention that my niece and her husband had a baby as well as my nephew and his wife, both had girls! I was so clouded in the darkness I totally brushed aside the good that happened last year and good things DID happen, I DID marry my best friend, y’know! 

So as my plan for change is moving along smoothly there are things I plan on NOT changing:

I will not be changing my prayer schedule, which is daily in the morning and thoughtfully throughout the day as needed.
I will not be changing my praise and worship!
I will not be changing my faith. It will be as profound and earnestly as it has ever been for over forty years now with added growth.
I will not stop drinking coffee. < - - just a little smile thrown in there for you

Now go and change what you can, accept what you can't change and be who you are! God Bless one and all!

The Cave Dweller No More

Luke 12:27 “Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.”

It seems like the last year I’ve been living in a cave. The world is going on around me and many things have gone on in this world that I care not to discuss because I can discuss them quietly at home and in the depths of my mind, I don’t need all of my thoughts out there for the world to see.

I stop by facebook once a day to see what people are sharing and well, it’s the same ol’ same ol’ basket full of deceit, cunning opinionated news (usually lies), abused animals, lost children and prayer. My page is full of prayer request and that is just how I like to start my day by being in prayer for those in need. 

I’ve changed my facebook page so much I no longer get the negative feed that was turning my stomach early last year. With every visit my heart hurt, my mind ached and I was left puzzled by some of the things people felt the need to share, so I climbed into the cave crowded by grief and didn’t ever want to come out and view the social world again.

Something happened along the way. God spoke to me and asked me what I was doing sulking in the cold darkened damp cave. Never one to shy away from God, I told Him the truth about what was bothering me. He set me on a straight and narrow path and I came out the other end of the cave dragged there by the light that was pulling on my shirt.

After God showed me what was wrong, I took action to change. Then the New Year erupted and I made a commitment to be more focused on my writing craft. I don’t need a best selling novel, I need to WRITE! If I write one word that changes the way people see the world, one word that speaks volumes to them, one word to encourage them, then my writing is not in vain, my gift is being used the way God intended and the positive energy that comes from my writing will light me up and allow me to SHINE!

Since I don’t believe in coincidence, what do you make from this meme that came across my feed? 

“God wants to bring you out of your cave, out of that place in your mind where you have been lost.”

Now some will say, it’s just a meme. Well, since I believe God works in mysterious ways, more ways than the human mind can comprehend, I believe I was in the right place at the right time. Has that ever happened to you? Well it clarified what was truly on my mind and that is that God doesn’t want me languishing in the cave. He wants me out here in the spinning world sharing my words that are ‘on my mind’ and words that might reverberate in other minds also. 

Also, this lovely sentiment came across my screen:

Believe it... in your mind. 

Receive it... in your heart. 

Achieve it... in your life.

I sat up, took notice and got busy working on the plan God has set before me to change the darkness into light, to take a breath, inhale and exhale the positive flow that needs release to this world of negativity. 

I know it’s a stretch but if others see me actively taking a stance to change, maybe they too will follow suit and by years end I will have changed some small portion of the world. Remember this, social media is not just a place to share pictures, memes, and what the news media wants you to believe, it is also an avenue to share the true inner you that the world has come to know and love. 

Continuing down the same path as last year, you are consciously blocking the pathway to change. The choice is up to you my friends. Live, grow and change! It is after all a New Year.

God Bless each and every one of you!

2 Thes 1:3 “We are bound to thank God always for you, brethren, as it is meet, because that your faith groweth exceedingly, and the charity of every one of you all toward each other aboundeth;”

Spring Cleaning My Soul

Job 37:21 “And now men see not the bright light which is in the clouds: but the wind passeth, and cleanseth them.”

The tiny seed knew that in order to grow it had to be set in the dirt, covered in darkness, and struggle to see the light! I myself have plunged through the darkness as it tried to envelope my soul, I stretched out toward the light and that is the time I burst forth with growth. The dirt (darkness) enriched me and cleansed my soul.

I know it is early for Spring-cleaning but it is never too early for cleaning of the soul of all the leftover fragments scattered behind from the previous year. With the doozy of a year behind me, the dismantling of the Christmas season, I’m faced with a liberating feeling of cleanliness. That is what happens when you clean up and put away the old and make way for the new. 

Only five days into the New Year and already I’m feeling the presence of change, so much so that it is moving along in a smooth flow: of words, of actions, of deeds and of promise. This year is setting itself up to be a rapid succession of energy that spills out into my writing, my cleaning and my meditating. I’m in awe of the visible transition.

Some people would rather wait until spring to clean out closets, toss away old clothing, get rid of unused stuff and junk, but me, I do my spring-cleaning when my soul calls me to make some semblance of this clutter that has filled these four walls. I didn’t start off the new year wanting to clean and shake this house up and get rid of the excess baggage tagging along collecting cobwebs. It just came upon me as I slept, hugged me when I woke, and moved me into action.

Granted my back is in no better shape than it was last year but this year I’m not letting my disability alter my active lifestyle I had before this thing called arthritis gripped my NOT-OLD back! I have not even reached the half a century mark and my back thinks it is moving into the seventies. Since my mind is still back there in time, where the thirty-year mark saw the seedling spurt with growing pains, now my nearly half a century old mind is giving a speeding ticket to my body and telling it to ‘hold on now’! But hi ho silver and away I go growing like a newly planted seed.

I’m not one to hoard because I learned quite a few years ago that they are all materials and can be gone in the blink of an eye and all you have to hold onto is memories of the physical hindrances, sometimes called artifacts of your past. This ‘stuff’ that I’m soul-cleaning is newly acquired stuff lodged in my mind as new experiences, new thoughts, and brighter comfort zones. 

I have a tendency to hold onto my old ways, my own pattern of thinking, not allowing the new age of things to play games in the basketball court of my mind. My soul-cleaning is going to consist of closing the doors on the negative thoughts that sometime ensnare me in their web and cloud my God thoughts as satan has set out to do on this earth. 

If I seem to be living my life out there on a cloud, distanced from what some call reality, it is my way of clinging to the new growth that is before me awaiting the springtime air, the season of MY New Year, and the bringing forth the solidarity of strength in my eternity. If I dip into the pool of confusion, like so many cling to this day and age, I will lose sight of my self worth and become stagnant in a clouded puddle. 

Pss. 91:1 “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.”

I will continue on the path of soul-cleaning, bouncing back refreshed and renewed with a new perspective on life. Some will enjoy the change, some will hide because they fear change, some will embrace my soul-cleansing and come along for the ride.

John 15:3 “Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.”

May God bless YOU on whatever journey YOU are embarking on this year. 

Dismantling Christmas!

Rom. 1:25 “Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.”

On December 31st I began dismantling Christmas and all the bells and whistles left behind. You celebrate Christmas, you might ask? Yes in my own way of course. I’m not one to take the Pagan holiday at face value instead I celebrate Christmas as a season of putting your past behind and preparing for a new year to begin.

The tree, a symbol of life, sits with every ornament of memories from years past. Some from my mother, others we bought each other to mark each year, while others were ones of Adam and his years of Christmas’ with us. Each one holds a cherished memory within.

The twinkling lights on the tree are a symbol for the light that shines in me in many different hues. My Christmas this year was colored by many days of darkness so the lights on the tree were the only source I could see of the light inside of me.

On the thirty-first I began tucking my enormous amount of snowmen tightly in their yearly trunk and pulling out every nic-nac that I had put away for the season. I took a deep sigh as I released a horrible year and not a very good season to ME. 

The tree came apart on the first of the year, as the New Year was moving forward. Branch by branch I dismantled the tree, as pieces of me felt like they were being placed in there, putting behind a year I hope I never remember. Of course I will because the year is embedded in my memory but for now, as I embrace the new beginning I choose to put the disorganized, disheveled mess of a year in the basement, locked tightly in a box!

Dismantling Christmas is more than just putting the season away in a box, it is in a way, realizing that clutter has consumed you and you put the distorted mess into some kind of organization that you can either release or hold onto. 

This past year, my life was dismantled. My faith was shaken by outside influences that profess truth but are full of lies. I couldn’t put my finger on the reason people seem to want atempt to shake your faith. Not all people are the same and we believe in many different things whether they are truths or lies. Not that I ever doubted my faith but maybe the origins of truth? Because I listened to the OUTSIDE source my mind and soul became disheveled, confused, throw some death in there and life was like a swirling cyclone. 

As I put away the Christmas season, I realize I need to be more active in putting outside influences far away from me. This is going to be a crazy year wrapped up in lies, insecurities, people consumed with themselves so much they become blind to their inner beauty that they lost along the way. I cannot focus on these falsities that dance around like water on a hot griddle. 
While I claim this to be the year of change, I know it is I who has to change. 

Did you ever go back to the old house that you grew up in and everything seemed so much bigger, the yard, the rooms, everything. Life is like that; we make things bigger than they are and it isn’t the yard or house that changed sizes it’s our perspective. I need to change my perspective in what I want to drink out of the fountain of life. We don’t live forever so it is not a stretch to want to put my eternity into a clear organized perspective instead of the dismantled mess that has sat before me for the year. 

Dismantling Christmas means to me: Putting the past behind me to forge ahead into the future, the new future of change that I claim for myself! Good or bad...I will embrace the change.

“Any fool can know. The point is to understand.” 

~ Albert Einstein

Poetry Sunday ~ The Flow of Change

Prov. 24:21 “My son, fear thou the LORD and the king: and meddle not with them that are given to change:”

Flow of Change 

In a pool of standing water

There is no ripple to bear

In the running of the river

Seamless change fills the air.

Flowing forward flawlessly

The sediment staggers below

A rocky road emerges

To sever the seasoned flow.

If life is like a puddle

Silent silhouette to remain

Through the open window

Surges streaming pain.

If life whispers like a river

The tide of change will rise

Echoing in the morning wind

Released in dewdrop cries.

The year of change is colored

By departure of all sin

Behold the rampant glory

Emanating from deep within.

1 Cor. 15:51 “Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,”

Quotation Saturday ~ The Year of Change

Matt. 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” 

NEW YEAR

“Hope
Smiles from the threshold of the year to come, 
Whispering 'it will be happier'...” 
~ Alfred Lord Tennyson

“For last year's words belong to last year's language 
And next year's words await another voice.” 
~ T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets

“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.

Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something.

So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.

Make your mistakes, next year and forever.” 
~ Neil Gaiman

“A bridge of silver wings stretches from the dead ashes of an unforgiving nightmare
to the jeweled vision of a life started anew.” 
~ Aberjhani

CHANGE

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” 
~ Mahatma Gandhi

“Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” 
~ Rob Siltanen

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” 
~ Albert Einstein

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” 
~ Rumi

GROWTH

“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.” 
~ C. JoyBell C.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” 
~ Anaïs Nin

“Just because I liked something at one point in time doesn’t mean I’ll always like it, or that I have to go on liking it at all points in time as an unthinking act of loyalty to who I am as a person, based solely on who I was as a person. To be loyal to myself is to allow myself to grow and change, and challenge who I am and what I think. The only thing I am for sure is unsure, and this means I’m growing, and not stagnant or shrinking.” 
~ Jarod Kintz

“My turn shall also come:
I sense the spreading of a wing.” 
~ Osip Mandelstam

SPIRITUAL

“The moon is a loyal companion.
It never leaves. It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it’s a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human.
Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.” 
~ Tahereh Mafi

“Sometimes our light goes out, but is blown again into instant flame by an encounter with another human being.” 
~ Albert Schweitzer

“That which God said to the rose, and caused it to laugh in full-blown beauty, He said to my heart, and made it a hundred times more beautiful.” 
~ Rumi

“People tend to be generous when sharing their nonsense, fear, and ignorance. And while they seem quite eager to feed you their negativity, please remember that sometimes the diet we need to be on is a spiritual and emotional one. Be cautious with what you feed your mind and soul. Fuel yourself with positivity and let that fuel propel you into positive action.” 
~ Steve Maraboli

“Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.” 
~ Mother Teresa

“I sense it in the breath of the morning, the rising of the sun, the brisk cold that kisses my skin; this is the year of change.”
~  Joni

The Echo of Change

Echo, echo, echo…

Life is an echo

What you send out, comes back.

What you sow, you reap

What you give, you get

What you see in others exists in you

Remember, life is an echo

It always gets back to you

So give goodness!

~ Zig Ziglar

This is the year of change. I don’t say this because it is January 1st, I say it because it is an actual fact that has been burning inside me for a few months now. So many people wait for the New Year to make resolutions, only not keep them and then feel the disappointment fester when they fail. I’m not making a resolution here; I feel a life change coming around the corner.

As I climbed into bed last night around ten, I thought of New Years that have passed away like the fallen confetti, gone but not forgotten. I would stand squished between friends and family around Baltimore’s Inner Harbor waiting for the 12 o’clock firework show with a beer in my hand and smoking weed (because with 250,000 people no one could tell where the smell was coming from).

Then as I grew older my light show was sitting in my warm home at the window (no alcohol or drugs), with my niece who loved to come to my house on New Year’s Eve to spend the night and stay awake to watch the fireworks. I lived so close to the Inner Harbor that you could hear the revelers whooping and hollering. Cars would blare horns, kids would clang pots and pans and I just sat still with a smile watching the splendid light show.

As I made my way to Texas in later years, New Years Eve took on a different shape and form. I never anticipated fireworks and often I was in bed before the 12 o’clock ball drop. Not much for New Years rockin’ eve, I had grown and matured. Life became more subdued, no longer did the bottle hold me prisoner. I no longer felt compelled to mark my New Year with booze.  

Now as I mature further as an old fuddy duddy, I don’t understand why people, some who never drink, decide that on New Year’s Eve to take some wine or champagne and drink to the New Year. I think conformist follow what other people do in carrying on traditions. Since I’m not a conformist I see no point in celebratory events to mark the flipping of a calendar page.

I had to do some research and see why; why on earth do we ring in a New Year. Just as I suspected, it is a celebration handed down through other gods. It is solely based on superstition and the human race needing to be a part of ‘the world’ follows along.

I wonder if I’m alone in not wanting to be a part of the ritualistic and occult practices? I wonder if anyone sees nonsense in the eating of beans for good luck, having a drink at midnight to bring on a prosperous new year and other ritualistic traditions handed down by the Babylonians.

My dad used to eat pickled herring on New Years Eve; I used to think clinking a bottle would give me a promise of a good year. They were false illusions that I’ve come to realize over the years. Will my year be hellish if I don’t participate? Will the gods curse my year of growth and change? Are we to follow omens and the occult?

Is it just me who wants to turn the New Year into a flipping of a page as my consuming practice on January first? I knew I was weird but I think I’ve gone and taken it to new heights in my transcending timeline called life. I’m different and I’m okay with that.

Like I said yesterday, my life has been and always will be more spiritual than following rituals and traditions of the past. I like to start my own traditions being as different as they are.

Deut. 18: 9-14 “When thou art come into the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee, thou shalt not learn to do after the abominations of those nations.

There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch,

Or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer.

For all that do these things are an abomination unto the LORD: and because of these abominations the LORD thy God doth drive them out from before thee.

Thou shalt be perfect with the LORD thy God.

For these nations, which thou shalt possess, hearkened unto observers of times, and unto diviners: but as for thee, the LORD thy God hath not suffered thee so to do.”

I know many people will put their spin on scripture, picking pieces out to call truth and bend that truth to fit nicely and neatly into their life so they feel justified in doing what they’re doing. I do the same thing. Yes, I’m a sinner and yes I do wrong, but this is going to be the year of change in me as I prepare my soul for my eternity. My previous years have been based on growth. This year I learn from that growth and change. The echo I release to the world will be one of hope and love. I will not be a part of the negativity that so many cling to on a daily basis as their compass in life.

This is not a resolution per se, this is growth and with growth, just like the seedling, comes change. My echo will be heard. 

Have a blessed year growing with God!

The Year Ends...A New One Begins

Jeremiah 29:11-13 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. 

The Year Ends… A New One Begins

Now that I have my shine back, I’m going to attack 2016 with a vengeance. I’m not one to make New Year’s resolutions because to me tomorrow is just the day we hang a new calendar. But I digress; it is a new year with a new number! 

The year that just passed was an odd number, an intermingled bad year with a good year. My marriage took place so I thought for sure the rest of the year was going to be a good one full of blessings galore. I see every day as a blessing no matter how down I am, so yeah, I had 365 days of blessings! I survived, what a blessing!

While in previous years I’ve always celebrated the New Year on Easter Sunday, this year is going to be a little different since I’m going to tackle the New Year on January 1st! Not only am I going to flip the calendar I’m going to flip my energy to a positive growth spurt this year and what better day than on the first of the year.

While I’ll still celebrate my spiritual New Year on Easter, the physical New Year will begin on the first of January leading into the new digits 2016. It is going to be a year of promise, hope, sincerity and truth. Even if death encircles me I will tackle the gloom like a linebacker with every ounce of force within my body.

I’m definitely going to make a comeback with my writing even if I have nothing to say but God Bless you, my challenge to myself is to awake every day with hope in my heart and words on my fingertips! Yeah, that’s a challenge seeing last year I barely wrote. Even if no one reads me, I’ll write to insure my sanity, as without writing I might as well be comatose.

This looks to be an exciting year with the aspect of a new president. I get to watch all my friends fall all over themselves as if stone cold drunk in the political postings of the day. I’ll watch as their year is consumed with hate of this, that and the other thing, all the while posting scripture to defend their stance. 

Facebook may have to become obsolete in the coming year as my fellow Americans make fools of themselves and not even being aware of what asinine behavior they are adhering to in the name of egotistical rights. Yes, we have Freedom of Speech, I just wish everyone could take a look at the dignity mirror and see if hate-filled spew is going to be a part of their year and whom they appear to be mirroring in the mess we call politicizing.

People assume I turn a blind eye to the happenings in the world but little do they know I CHOOSE not to consume my inner strength with false cares of the world. I choose to see the end product because let me tell you, we are all going to die and if your world is so consumed with the here and now, what is your eternity going to look like? 

Again, my new year will not be absorbed by the here and now, it is going to be focused on the end of me and what will become of my spirit in the hereafter.

When I go to bed at night I want to know that I feel good about myself inside and out. After spewing hate, do you feel good? That is temporal and will not carry you through eternity. Sure being consumed with the worldly might get you through the day and maybe that is who you are and you like who you are.

Does God participate in you trying to guilt people into a repost? 
Romans 12: 2 says:  “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” Does God participate in your life at all? 

2016 will be a new year and a new life for me and my participation in God himself will be the driving force behind an extremely good year because I WILL NOT be conformed to this sad world. 

My prayer journey will continue as in years past for change in the human psyche so that humans might be in touch with their spirituality so that they can release the negativity in the privacy of their own minds, not out in the open for the world to see. Because if WE see your evident hate, I wonder what God sees in you?

As you celebrate the ending of the old year and the New Year begins… celebrate life and the spiritual journey. Make a change that you can actually FEEL!

Be blessed in all you do! 

Godspeed! 

The Truth in Fiction

Pss. 143:5 “I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands.”

Are ya thirsty for more?

I’ve been reading that my posts are actually missed. Go figure! My breaks in writing have allowed me time to reflect and I think that is a good thing as long as I don’t dawdle there too long. I need to learn and grow from all I meditate on and this is what the coming year will bring to me in my endurance.

One of the main things I’ve learned this year is this: don’t believe everything you read. I’ve had to witness throughout the year people post over and over the things of years past already to be known as a hoax or untruths. People are so eager to put it out there that they don’t do the reality check that needs to be brought forth.

It’s not just in facebook posts that get me but what people read in fiction and call it ‘historical truth’. Take the DaVinci code for instance; people really saw historical truth in that book/movie of fiction? No wonder we have so many people/Christians confused with what to believe.

That’s another thing I’ve reflected on this year: truth! I’ve always listened to God’s word as truth but again it is my interpretation of God and the truth and no one else can claim MY truth. Granted Dan Brown, the writer, had some truth twisted in his words, it is to each their own.

“History is always written by the winners. When two cultures clash, the loser is obliterated, and the winner writes the history books-books which glorify their own cause and disparage the conquered foe. As Napoleon once said, 'What is history, but a fable agreed upon?”

― Dan Brown, The Da Vinci Code

So when someone says to me that they saw historical truth in that story by Brown, are they telling me that they believe in fables and that the bible is one of those fables? Yeah, so much on the net confuses me and that is why I only listen to the truth that God himself instills in my being and I don’t mean ‘the bible’ I mean GOD! I am conquering the enemy! I will only glorify the God in ME!

We all as a human race seek out a truth and some grab onto anything that rolls past them as it wobbles down the road. I’ve never been like that for some reason. This is why I say I am spirit-filled. I’m not fiction fable filled, I’m not media or political filled, and I’m certainly not filled with the ways of the world. It makes my skin crawl.

I do know one thing and that is satan was working overtime through Dan Brown. What better way to have people rethink or restructure their faith than to have a well respected writer convey a message and people buy it as historical truth! Way to go dark one!

I know what people missed in my posting and that is essentially they missed someone that they could relate to, someone who they understand and someone they could call a trusted friend. One thing I won’t fill your head with is lies and feed the blasphemous nature of the world.

I’ll give Mr. Brown this, he did say some interesting truth (mingled with the lies):

Truth: “Men go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire.”

― Dan Brown, The Da Vinci Code

What?: “Those who truly understand their faiths understand the stories are metaphorical.”

― Dan Brown, The Da Vinci Code Joni says: “My faith isn’t in a book of stories.”

Lie: “Faith ― acceptance of which we imagine to be true, that which we cannot prove.”

― Dan Brown, The Da Vinci Code Joni says: “I don’t imagine my faith to be true.”

Truth: “The art of a good writer is to stir up controversy”

~ Joni

Thanks Brown for giving me the image that DaVinci was seated at the Last Supper and could interpret what he saw thus painting what he believed he saw.

Thanks for giving me the image of Jesus having sex.

I’m so glad my spirit-filled nature, not my imagination, carries me higher than any of these controversial comical relief writers. I’m also glad that my writing isn’t filled with twisted truth, lies, deceit, puzzles and playthings. My truth, my faith, my PROOF is within ME and everyone has this capability but they are too busy tying themselves up in knotted lies.

p.s. As you can see, I had a real problem with this farce called fiction. But then again, that’s just me. P.s.s. I have a hard time not watching a Tom Hanks film. * wink *

My prayer for you this coming year: That you may taste faith on the tip of your tongue. That you may see your faith at work! That you may hear your faith in whispers of the wind. That your fingertips graze the faith you know is within YOU! May you know that your faith is PROOF enough!

God Bless you all!

1 Tim. 4:15 “Meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all.”

Shine

Job 3:4 “Let that day be darkness; let not God regard it from above, neither let the light shine upon it.”

Shine

This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine!

This is my decision as I head into a new year; I’m going to shine! The light in me shined a little in 2015 but I could feel it being dimmed. Saturated by circumstances my light was fading as the year was closing. I could feel the tug of war going on inside my soul and as I grabbed tightly to the light within my spirit, I felt it had diminished from a thick rope of strength to a small thread of nary any hope hanging out there in the darkness that I had a hard time holding onto.

The year began with a death (1-25), then yet another death (10-29) and is now being led out in chains with a death (12-14). Not a great year by any means. My candle had burned out, no more wax and no more wick to keep it going and I fizzled. It was as if someone came with wet fingertips and just doused the light that was left in me shining. By years end, I could shine no more. I felt like a deflated water balloon left over by kids of summer just lying in the grass. 

My Christmas day was spent with family and it was really the first time I had spoken about the tragedies of the year with someone other than my mother and my husband. I kind of felt good not just writing about it but also vocalizing about my dad, my aunt, and my uncle. When I woke up on the 26th of December I felt a small burning inside of me, a sensation of a new torch being lit by the match within.

I sat and wrote and by Monday the 28th my candle was fully lit, the flame burning high and a new sense of peace washing over me as if I had been reborn and given a second chance on life. The year of gloom that had hung over my head like a wet napkin was slowly falling apart and diminishing into nothing. I realized I had a light that NEEDED to shine, just a few more days.

Writing took a backseat as I wallowed in self-pity. Not that I had writers block or anything, I just didn’t feel like writing and when I did, none of it made much sense. This year I have had the least amount of posts in my blogging history! Well, no wonder my light was dim! Me without writing is like a baby without their security blanket. It left me feeling all whiney inside (sometimes outside)! 

Well let me tell you, my mother sent me one of the warmest blankets I’ve had in years. A security replacement? A warmth more penetrating than a roaring fire! Whatever it is, I feel like I’m coming back from a year long holiday, one that I didn’t take by choice, it was one that life threw at me, forced me into and asked me to just deal!

As the worst year of my life wraps up, I’m looking ahead and seeing a light shining in the not too far off distance, it’s quite close and appetizing to say the least. This little light of mine? I’m gonna let it shine! Let it shine! Let it SHINE! LET IT SHINE!

Godspeed my friends!

Prov. 4:18 “But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day.”

The End is Near ~ Part II

2 Cor. 2:9 “For to this end also did I write, that I might know the proof of you, whether ye be obedient in all things.”

By Monday morning the news blasted across the screen that there were “43 dead across seven states after a week of devastating storms, flooding and tornadoes.” And now we can add California too with a wildfire. We can’t blame terrorism for this one now can we?

We can sit comfortably at home and laugh the hardy har har and politicize this, we can scoff and chuckle at the terms “Global Warming”, “Climate Change” or El Niño but you cannot sit at home and deny that SOMETHING is happening! Or is all this just ‘normal’ weather patterns for you? Tornadoes in December? A blizzard in El Paso? Normal you say?

On Christmas day as we were driving home, we were bombarded by pellets. Not snow, not ice and not rain but pellets. I felt like I was in the middle of a packing war because they looked exactly like the packing material used when shipping something. It felt strange because just the week before we were basking in the fifty degree range. Yeah I guess that’s normal for Nebraska in December. I’ve been here almost seven years and haven’t come to know this as a normal December for Nebraska.

Another strange event happened on Christmas. We arrived home in time for the sky to darken as lightning streaked across the sky. No thunder just lightning. In strobe like fashion it blinked as if the earth was being short-circuited. I knew that on this Christmas there would be a full moon, the first Christmas full moon in 38 years, so it kind of felt like a phenomenal climax to the season; the kind you never remember having in your lifetime?

Many will politicize this, laughing at the politicians who tried to tell us what they thought was happening. Some will try Biblicism and call on Bible scripture to say LOOK, it is written! Scientists will shout out that they have been warning us for years and everyone just seems to laugh it off!

My take on this is, and I’m no scientist, I think WE as a human race have done this to ourselves! Our earth was dependent on us as a species to take care of the planet but no, we had to go and ruin it with our greed for more, more, more; more cars, more planes, more materials, more houses, etc. !!

I think the earth is at war with us! All of the having more of this and more of that is having a detrimental affect on us as a human race. Just as we have been infecting ourselves with poison ie: think cholesterol, alcohol, drugs, (legal or not) and thinking there are no ramifications, we are injecting the earth with a poison and now we are feeling the disease running rampant on our planet. 

Science can PROVE this but we sit back and laugh because we’d rather politicize it and place blame on OTHERS, not ourselves! We can be like Chicken Little and cry out, “The end is near, the end is NEAR” until we are blue in the face. Until you start taking seriously that the sky is falling and not doing something about it, then my friend, this IS the end… of TIME!

And the year is not over…yet.

May God humble you in these darkened days and may you see the Light that lies at the end of the tunnel. God bless you all!

Rev. 2:26 “And he that overcometh, and keepeth my works unto the end, to him will I give power over the nations:”

The End is Near ~ Part I

Pss.71:21 “Thou shalt increase my greatness, and comfort me on every side.”

The End is Near ~ Part I

Yes, that’s right, the end of 2015 is so close I can taste it watering in my mouth. After the tragic year I’ve had my tears have dried up for now, I’m not sure if it is temporary or not but I’ll go with God in prayer that He brings me out on the other end of a New Year!

My Christmas Eve was blanketed in grief and I realized how much I missed my mother and my father. With Dad gone on to better horizons, I knew the first Christmas would be the hardest but I had no idea my eyes had more tears left to give.

We had gotten word that as Steven’s aunt was driving down to Nebraska from South Dakota, she was run off the road by an eighteen-wheeler and her car was damaged, she wasn’t, physically. He didn’t stop to render assistance; he just kept on going. My goodness. My palm slapped my forehead, then my hands clasped together as I thanked the Lord for the chance to hug his aunt again.

I woke Christmas morning wanting to run to my mother and hug her but she wasn’t here, she was back home in Baltimore. I had to go on with this day and I knew I could make it; the one thing my father instilled in me was strength, and I would do it for him if not for anybody else.

Christmas day I found myself surrounded by family. This was my new family in marriage. Yes, they’ve been my family for 13 years now but this year they became ever more important to me. Sure I’ve always known that life can slip from our fingertips in the blink of an eye, but never more so than this year when I was hit with three prominent deaths in my family.

The aunt that was run off the road told me how ‘young kids’ stopped to help her. Her wheel was pretty damaged but they got it running enough for her to make it to Nebraska. I told her how I had prayed for her to have a safe journey and asked my angels to look out for her. She thanked me, she said “Oh they were there for sure!” At eighty years old you’d think she’d throw in the towel and stop these long trips but not her; I know we’ll see her again come Easter. She is one of the sweetest women I know! She reminds me of one of the nuns I grew up with in Catholic school that have a cherubic glow about them. That is her; she’s a Baptist, not a Catholic but she glows. Before I left to come home she touched my arm and said to me, “Could you ask your angels to watch me make the trip home?” She said that with such a warm gentle smile. I told her of course I would! (But in all honesty, I think she has her own angels surrounding her daily.)

I accepted the warm condolences of the family with watery eyes but not a full-blown cry. The love felt so comforting. I know cards and condolences have a special feel but a hug brings about a physical healing that I truly needed at this time.

My Christmas was full of contentment, love, sharing and caring! I’m not a person who brags and boasts of where I went and what I did or what I got; I feel like God doesn’t care about those material actions, He cares about what you FELT. Since God is LOVE, I was filled with love this Christmas and that means I got everything I ever wanted and all that I ever needed.

While the end of the year is drawing near and I DON’T make New Year’s resolutions, I anxiously await the calendar flip in earnest prayer! It WILL be a better year! It may also be a year filled with death and tragedy but I have the strength to push forward and move ahead and by God, that is just what I’m going to do!

Praise be to God!!!

Isa. 49:13 “Sing, O heavens; and be joyful, O earth; and break forth into singing, O mountains: for the LORD hath comforted his people, and will have mercy upon his afflicted.”

Quotation Saturday ~ A New Year is Coming

Quotation Saturday

SPIRIT

“We must become so alone, so utterly alone, that we withdraw into our innermost self. It is a way of bitter suffering. But then our solitude is overcome, we are no longer alone, for we find that our innermost self is the spirit, that it is God, the indivisible. And suddenly we find ourselves in the midst of the world, yet undisturbed by its multiplicity, for our innermost soul we know ourselves to be one with all being.” 
― Hermann Hesse

“Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground. Let their spirit ignite a fire within you to leave this world better than when you found it...” 
― Wilferd Peterson

“As I grow older, much older, I will experience many things, and I will hit rock bottom again and again. Again and again I will suffer; again and again I will get back on my feet. I will not be defeated. I won't let my spirit be destroyed.” 
― Banana Yoshimoto, Kitchen

“There is a LIGHT in this world. A healing spirit more powerful than any darkness we may encounter. We sometime lose sight of this force when there is suffering, and too much pain. Then suddenly, the spirit will emerge through the lives of ordinary people who hear a call and answer in extraordinary ways.” 
― Richard Attenborough

LOVE

“We are not trapped or locked up in these bones. No, no. We are free to change. And love changes us. And if we can love one another, we can break open the sky.” 
― Walter Mosley, Blue Light

“In your light I learn how to love. In your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest where no-one sees you, but sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art.” 
― Rumi

“It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” 
― Mother Teresa

“If there's a thing I've learned in my life it's to not be afraid of the responsibility that comes with caring for other people. What we do for love: those things endure. Even if the people you do them for don't” 
― Cassandra Clare

New Year

“Hope
Smiles from the threshold of the year to come, 
Whispering 'it will be happier'...” 
― Alfred Lord Tennyson

“A bridge of silver wings stretches from the dead ashes of an unforgiving nightmare
to the jeweled vision of a life started anew.” 
― Aberjhani, Journey through the Power of the Rainbow: Quotations from a Life Made Out of Poetry

“Let me give you a New Year message: Believe in yourself, because no one ever achieved anything significant without believing in himself and no one ever will! Believe in yourself powerfully, especially when there is no reason left to believe in yourself because the ultimate bottom is the best place to start a big rise!”
― Mehmet Murat ildan

“A year of ending and beginning, a year of loss and finding...and all of you were with me through the storm. I drink your health, your wealth, your fortune for long years to come, and I hope for many more days in which we can gather like this.” 
― C.J. Cherryh, Fortress of Eagles

This year has been long and sorrowful. My prayer for the New Year is that 2016 will be a better year, full of life and love! May the wind sweep across my face and breathe into me a new life, a new aspiration so that all of the world will be consumed in the love and Light I know to exist. God bless you all.
~ Joni

The Box

“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

The Box

It came without fanfare it came without ribbons and bows but it was the box that I was anxiously waiting for with memories of my father. It looked like any other box that comes in the mail, all wrapped in brown paper and taped beyond belief. I had quite a hard time getting into the box and it smelled kind of funny.

My mother had been building on my excitement the entire month when she said what was going to be in the box (minus my necklace) that still to this day has not been made ready by the funeral director!

This season has not been an anticipated season and to be honest, I’m quite down. I lost one of my favorite aunts in the beginning of the year and just last week I lost one of my favorite uncles, AND I lost my father at the end of October which is kind of putting a damper on my celebratory Christmas spirit!

My concern lies with my mother who is a brave ol’ soul enduring a lot and being a comfort to my aunt, her sister, in her time of need. Friday, the day of the funeral, I was supposed to go see Steven’s family and when Thursday came, I told him I just couldn’t do it in all good conscience. I was down and didn’t want to say anything that I’d regret. I couldn’t wear a mask and pretend all is right with the world when my world was crushed, my heart broken and my spirit in a quite stir.

My days on Facebook have halted for a spell because it is full of cheer and happiness. Can people REALLY be all that happy? It’s possible but I don’t know, I think they wear a mask over their sadness and make the world think they’re all happy as a horse. It could be my own sadness seeing things that aren’t there and that is totally possible too because I’m in a serious funk!

The box – it lifted my spirits on a day shadowed in death; it arrived. There was some good news and… some bad news. The good news was that it arrived! The bad news is that the Old Bay seasoning that my mother sent had been damaged, meaning in transit the lid popped off and splattered all over everything. The m&m bag was split open (shut up Benning) and Steven was a sport (the m&m’s were for him) ate for the first time Baltimore seasoned m&m’s!

She had put in there the funeral cards, some pictures, three lighthouses (for Adam), and two seasonal throws, one for me and one for Steven. They certainly gave new meaning to the SEASONal blankets, covered in Old Bay. Mind you that Old Bay is hard to come by out here in the midwest and that is why she sent it to me from Baltimore, land of the crab lovers.

Then my most prized possession that I was awaiting, the binoculars! These binoculars have sentimental value beyond belief! My dad acquired them from the shipyard he worked at over 40 years ago and they have been everywhere; Ocean City, Virginia, Pennsylvania, Florida, and of course Maryland. My dad treasured these naval binoculars.

I held them in my hand, while dusting off the Old Bay, and could feel my dad’s hands wrapped around them. I put my eyes to the peepholes (ouch) and just a little burn from the Old Bay but they were here, in my hand, in MY possession! Every child in my family wanted these but they were the first thing I asked for when I got the sad news my dad had passed.

After the arrival of the box, my mood swung from happy to sad and then happy then sad. I was and AM on a roller coaster of emotions and I want off! I felt sad that I had turned down a visit to see his family but in all honesty, it was for the best. We all walked away happy and that is truly what I wanted.

Now onto Christmas…

“Welcome, Christmas, bring your cheer. Cheer to all Whos far and near. Christmas Day is in our grasp, so long as we have hands to clasp. Christmas Day will always be just as long as we have we. Welcome Christmas while we stand, heart to heart, and hand in hand.” Dr. Seuss,  How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Shine On

Prov. 30:5 “Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.”

SHINE ON!!!

I will be the first to admit that this year has been a struggle to shine on in a world full of darkness. It began in the beginning of the year when a cloud overshadowed the month of January in the form of death, a beloved aunt.

Death is never an easy thing but it was especially hard for me since I couldn’t be back home with my family. I would muddle through the trenches of guilt, shrug off the feelings of incompetence and embrace the Light of the Lord as my strength to get me through yet another of life's crisis’.

Crawling my way out of the mire I saw a glimmer of light in the form of engagement then marriage. The feeling was so bright and felt so warm and good I thought I myself had died and been wrapped in Heavenly arms. 

The month of May would pass and the glimmer of light would dim; it would die a slow death in and of itself. I should have (maybe I did) know that this year wasn’t going to end well when the voles in my yard tore into my garden of flowers and destroyed them with what looked like hurricane force.

There went my Hollyhocks, my Zinnia, my Salvia of five years, my Bleeding Heart, my precious mums etc. etc.; the list goes on like Nebraska farmland. The bright side came to me when I thought, oh well there is always another year to come, but is there? I went on knowing my flowers were all dead for the season and I saw a little light in the beauty of a facebook friend who has an endless show of flowers; a smile, a glimmer of hope in this gloom.

Throughout the year my dad’s health was diminishing. By October he would be hospitalized and he would suffer a slow agonizing death. Again the guilt circled me like a vortex in the middle of the sea drawing me in and drowning me with no way out. I fought, I clawed and I searched breathless for a ray of hope. There was none to be found. 

Thanksgiving would come and I’d have to find a ray of light in the impending Christmas spirit, right? Wrong. The lighthouse of my life was gone; the pillar of strength that I looked to was out to sea sucked into the vortex. Left behind were fragments, souls and dread.

Last night when talking to my mother, she informed me that my uncle had three days to live. We cried as the rain pelted on the door and the winds rampantly blew. He had been battling cancer for years and it seemed licked two years ago when his ‘port’ was taken out and then it resurfaced with a vengeance. He is her sisters’ husband and as of today, 12-14-15 I got the dreaded phone call that I knew was coming…he died. Cancer is what sucked him into the vortex called death. Cancer is what will cling to my cousins and aunt around Christmas and for years to come. Cancer has eaten too many of my relatives. How do I fight such a dismal prognosis? Maybe with the only Light that I know; the only Light I trust to get me through these dampened darkened days?

Then there’s the celebratory feasts that we’re obligated to attend. We were invited to his mom’s house on Friday the 18th. We had to sadly decline because hubby has to work a long day, but we were guilted into going by his sister. You know how families have that guilt trip stuff down pat! Who cares that you’re mourning? Who cares that you’re not in the mood to celebrate? Who cares that you’re not as happy as everyone else? Point blank: NO ONE!

Maybe it is what I need, to be surrounded by a family that actually loves one another. Maybe I need to see people laughing and enjoying the season. Maybe I need to be a part of a Mother’s wish in seeing all her kids together. Maybe it isn’t about my whining and ME. Maybe the season is about LOVE and seeing others happy. 

Maybe I’M the Light that they need to see shining through overcast skies.

MAYBE… I need to take up drinking again. (That was me trying to joke my way through pain!)

May God Bless you ALL and may YOU be a light shining on for someone to see!

2 Sam. 23:4 “And he shall be as the light of the morning, when the sun riseth, even a morning without clouds; as the tender grass springing out of the earth by clear shining after rain.”

A Snowflake?

A Snowflake?

There was a snowflake that fell

On my nose without a smell

Cross-eyed I did look

It trembled and shook

It found a new place to dwell.

The snowflake began to squirm

It wriggled like a worm

It began to slip

Down to my lip

A snowflake I can’t confirm.

The thing began to tickle

Feeling kind of fickle

I blew in the air

Without a care

I seem to be in a pickle.

It came down in flight

What a beautiful sight

Unlikely weather

For snowflake not feather

A message on wings of white.

“Feathers appear when Angels are near.”

This is the poem I wrote for my mother, whom just lost her husband of sixty years. This is her Christmas present. I told her I’d write one that wouldn’t make her cry and I’m hoping I succeeded. I also put in the envelope a white feather. 
Comments are much appreciated. 

Pss. 91:4 “He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.”