Sunday, September 24, 2017

Poetry Sunday ~ Autumn Trees

Pss. 96:12 “Let the field be joyful, and all that is therein: then shall all the trees of the wood rejoice.”

Autumn Trees

Flaming fire of autumn trees
Lights the sky with ample ease
Flowing like a river stream 
Catches on the sunrise beam

The open orange of autumn trees
Catches light on mornings breeze
Drifting down with somber sound
Leaves now whimper on the ground

Amber glow of autumn trees
Whispers sounds of rolling seas
Brilliant hint of heavens door
Hues abound of winters lure

Radiant red on autumn trees
Winter waits with summer tease
Vibrant color mornings gold
Frost unveils the seasons cold

*a worthy repost

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Quotation Saturday ~ Patience, Hope

Romans 5:3-4 KJV “And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope:”


“The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter.” 
― Paulo Coelho

“He that can have patience can have what he will.” 
― Benjamin Franklin

“Patience is power.
Patience is not an absence of action;
rather it is "timing"
it waits on the right time to act,
for the right principles
and in the right way.” 
― Fulton J. Sheen

“Water does not resist. Water flows. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress. Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing, in the end, can stand against it. Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember that, my child. Remember you are half water. If you can't go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does.” 
― Margaret Atwood


“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 
― Marianne Williamson

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” 
― Paulo Coelho

“Fear doesn't shut you down; it wakes you up” 
― Veronica Roth

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” 
― Nelson Mandela


“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” 
― Eleanor Roosevelt

“All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Don't let the expectations and opinions of other people affect your decisions. It's your life, not theirs. Do what matters most to you; do what makes you feel alive and happy. Don't let the expectations and ideas of others limit who you are. If you let others tell you who you are, you are living their reality — not yours. There is more to life than pleasing people. There is much more to life than following others' prescribed path. There is so much more to life than what you experience right now. You need to decide who you are for yourself. Become a whole being. Adventure.” 
― Roy T. Bennett

“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.” 
― Eckhart Tolle


“The Christian says, 'Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists. A baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food. A duckling wants to swim: well, there is such a thing as water. Men feel sexual desire: well, there is such a thing as sex. If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing. If that is so, I must take care, on the one hand, never to despise, or to be unthankful for, these earthly blessings, and on the other, never to mistake them for the something else of which they are only a kind of copy, or echo, or mirage. I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find till after death; I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside; I must make it the main object of life to press on to that country and to help others to do the same.” 
― C.S. Lewis

“A great hope fell
You heard no noise
The ruin was within.” 
― Emily Dickinson

“What disturbs and depresses young people is the hunt for happiness on the firm assumption that it must be met with in life. From this arises constantly deluded hope and so also dissatisfaction. Deceptive images of a vague happiness hover before us in our dreams, and we search in vain for their original. Much would have been gained if, through timely advice and instruction, young people could have had eradicated from their minds the erroneous notion that the world has a great deal to offer them.” 
― Arthur Schopenhauer

“So don't be frightened, dear friend, if a sadness confronts you larger than any you have ever known, casting its shadow over all you do. You must think that something is happening within you, and remember that life has not forgotten you; it holds you in its hand and will not let you fall. Why would you want to exclude from your life any uneasiness, any pain, any depression, since you don't know what work they are accomplishing within you?” 
― Rainer Maria Rilke

Thursday, September 21, 2017

I'm Hanging in There

Rom. 8:28- 29 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.”

Dangling by a thread

I’m hanging in here. If you see a thread dangling from a shirt and are tempted to pull on the string, don’t, that’s me dangling there. In other words, I’m dangling by a thread. The thing I’ve noticed is I don't really need to be around; people can get back to their same old, same old mundane routines in life without worrying about lil old me, in other words, not burdening anyone. I’m not the same anymore and I can no longer pretend that I am the same. While some people like to remain stagnant and sedentary in their lifestyle, that is no longer the me I never wanted to be in the first place. God has called me to change.

I’ve had to accept that I am the cause of this disease residing in me and as a spiritual tap on the shoulder; the C caused me to SEE! Many people want to blame God, doctors want to blame ‘tough luck of the draw’, I want to blame my lousy life choices throughout my life! I accept this wake-up call, not to throw myself a pity party but to CHANGE! Change everything about the lifestyle that brought me to this juncture in my life.

I dove into processed foods like the first day of the summer pool opening. I jumped into the toxic foods, pasta, and breads along with doughnuts and sweets and swam for years not recognizing the damage being done until recently since I have now learned my lesson after being shriveled up because I waded too long in the deep end. Most people don’t get that wake-up call and when they do, they ignore the sound.

We all, every single human being alive, has C cells swimming in our bodies. What has happened is the unhealthy lifestyle, previous illnesses, and nonchalant care for the direction of your life wakes these cells up as our immune system shuts down unable to take care of us, which allows a tumor to grow. Our cells got sick and mutated to become cancerous, C cells. Doctors won't tell you that they can be alternatively healed. Did you know there are healings that doctor’s deem ‘Spontaneous Remission’? That’s what they call it when people heal via holistic treatment rather than the medical costly pharma/drug/slice/dice method. The Big C patients recognize it as a powerful miraculous HEALING, not a pacifier that the medical community prescribes.

The causes of the C? Diet, lifestyle, environment, and stress! The doctor will clarify that only five percent of the C comes from genetics, so where does the other ninety-five percent come from? The toxic food you eat, the lifestyle like toxins you put in/on your body via water, deodorants, toothpaste, root canals, dental work, and the environment! Do you drink alcohol? Do you have a prayer life? Hopefully not both. The very air you breathe is killing you. Even vaccinations as a child were toxic. Stress, it all comes back to traumatic events in one's life. I know you’ll say that we’ve all had traumatic events in life and yes it’s true, that is why not just stress alone causes cancer. Have you not read my words over these eight months? All of my components that make up this disease, convened and came back with a guilty verdict. I am guilty of all of the above.

I’ve been trying to steer clear of talk of the C, but just when I want to calm down Chris Wark of Chris Beat Cancer comes up yet again with the free viewing of his Square One Module Series. Well, of course I’m going to watch it again because it is HIM who started me with this confidence boost in beating this disease.

I also work hard, extremely hard, to not let paranoia overrun my thinking. Allowing myself time away from the social media helps immensely as it allows me to just look within myself. A lot still needs changing, even after eight months of trying my best to change everything I could. Then my one-year mark my regimen more than likely will have to change again.

I keep this in mind as my life changes daily. God is still working for me, He presents Himself in His timing (not mine) and lets me know he’s still the Rock in this journey for the long haul. I am so blessed.

Faith is choosing to believe.

3 John 1: 2-3  “Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

The Ten Commandments to Kill The Toxic Invader

Ps. 9:2 "I will be glad and rejoice in thee: I will sing praise to thy name, O thou most High."

The Ten Commandments
To Kill The Toxic Invader

1) Open a vein and look inside the window to your life. Observe yourself and all of the past open wounds that have been seeping all of these years. If you feel scarred, you will feel glass separate you from your inner self, the you in your past. Look deep within your relationships, go back in time to nurture, face and heal those intimate sections of your life that might have been buried. Look at what shames you and causes you to turn your head if people were to know the truth that you’ve burdened yourself with. What guilt do you carry around with you that has kept you from healing that part of the child, the teenager, the woman? Look at the stress and all of the ugly pain associated with that part of your life. Number one will be the hardest thing you face in this healing journey. You know what they say, ‘One is the loneliest number.’ 

2) Be honest with yourself. If you’re going to stand and look in the window and see a perfect person, who knew no sin, then you are the toxic invaders next victim! Honesty is a healer. It can slowly stitch up the severed portion of your skin so it can begin scabbing over and healing completely with no scar left behind. Yes, that’s right, no scar left behind! Be honest in your healing, the non-truth will only hurt you. You’re the one that needs to heal.

3) Change… the norm! Change your fears, change your shame, change your diet, embrace a new you. There are going to be many challenges and changes in every way, shape, and form, literally. Two years from now you’ll look back at this time and wonder who you are right now. You won’t be staring in the window of a traumatized person, you will be looking into the face of a healed wounded soul. Change your way of thinking. Change your food, change your water, change everything from pots and pans to the soaps and shampoo you use. Now is the time for change…drastic change!

4) Pray and meditate! To whatever you believe in, now is the time to pray. My earnest faithful prayer is toward God in heaven. If you’ve ever read any of my blog posts, you will know, God is first and foremost in my life. Without Him, I would never attempt alternative treatment. If Jesus isn’t everything to you, then He is nothing to you. If healing is taking place in you then you know what it feels like to touch the hem of Jesus’ robe. 

Meditation also brings the healing to the surface as it slowly simmers the blood in your veins. You face what has leaked into your body to cause the cells damage head-on, you face the trauma in you with the One and only healer. I cannot attest to any healing taking place if you believe in nothing. All the diet change in the world won’t save you, it might be able to help you deal with chemo, but that is NOT an alternative route to healing this disease.

5) Just say no! We all have the power to say no, but we all know that sometimes we can be weak and never say no to anyone or anything. Take for example our food choices, we know they’re no good for us, our doctor has warned us, you’ve read about the dangers but you still reach for tempting, heart-damaging, health ravaging toxins. Say no to chemo, so no to oncologists that only believe in the almighty dollar. Believe in the power of real healing and you’ll begin to feel a real healing taking place. The only way to accomplish that is Just Say No! 

6) Research. Research your heart out. You might feel overwhelmed with information but then you’ll need to surround yourself with supportive like-minded individuals. The more research you do, the more empowered you’ll feel in your fight against naysayers who think you’re crazy. The more empowered you feel the more doorways to healing present themselves and God Himself walks beside you allowing channels to miraculously open that you thought might have been closed off to you. 
As the months' pass, you’ll feel the best you’ve ever felt. Pounds will shed like dandruff, food will have an enhanced flavor, skin and hair will take on a new luxurious look. While other cancer patients are falling ill, vomiting, sick in pain, you’ll be feeling great and wondering why more people haven’t gone this route. Fear, they fear the stigma surrounding the diagnosis, not the disease itself.

7. Supplements. Your body has announced over the bullhorn to you that you're sick, something’s not right and the noise and static have starched you into attention. Your cells are screaming out that they’re damaged and need repair. The symptoms have been clawing at you year after year, your instincts have been poking you with an icepick for you can’t remember how long, you’ve waited and waited it out and the problem never went away. Now with your immune system shot, your cells are done, they’re dying. Unless you save them! SAVE the cells you’re blessed with! Wake up and take charge, seize the very moment you’ve been given. Your doctor might want to hand you drugs and you readily take them because after all, he is a doctor. If he/she has heard of supplementation, ask if they are willing to work with herbs and vitamins BEFORE the drugs. They will, of course, say they can’t because they don’t know enough about them. It’s okay, you know why? Because you have already read through number six and are now aware of more than when you walked into the doctor's office.

If it is a matter of life and death: like you’ve had a heart attack and they need you to take medication to live, then by all means, listen to your doctor. If he tells you that you have the Big C, that leads us right to number eight.

8. Never fear! The word cancer in and of itself conjures fear. WHY, because everyone has lost someone to this disease. They’ve never heard of or known that there was another way to healing, why? Because of fear. The doctors' race in with the fear tactic even when you’re stage one, non-invasive. Did you know there are four stages? Why would a doctor tell a young mother who has found a rice size lump that she is going to die if she doesn’t get that piece of rice slaughtered out of her breast? Then they’ll radiate her to make sure they got it all and more times than not, they NEVER get it all. That’s because the tests, the digging, the radiating, the chemo all cause the C cells to spread. They don’t tell you that do they? No, they sure don’t. They tell you they got it all, send you and your drugs on their merry way and if you’ve done nothing to change your life, I can guarantee the C will resurface. But because of the research, you did in number six, you no longer live in fear!

9. Repair. Do everything and anything, legal or illegal to save your own life because rest assured there is nobody going to do it for you. Everyone is out for their own selves in this dog eat dog world, so save yourself with the love and strength of God and most importantly keep the faith in healing. Repair the inside and outside of you with all of the above tools. Fight like you’ve never been in a boxing ring but are well prepared to go a few rounds. Come out fighting and believe you're winning!

10. Rejoice! This is one you’ll want to do every day that you wake up alive and get to look in your husband or son’s eyes. Another day to be with the ones you love who are there for you in your world, making your concern their priority. You’ll want to rejoice in your healing. Praise God for the opportunities in front of you. You need to REJOICE in the midst of doubt and fear; wash off the dirty sediment that fear tries to sling at you. Rejoice in being alive. You are HEALING! Live it! BELIEVE it!!!

God Bless You!

A rock God placed in my path! 

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Poetry Sunday ~ Autumn Glory

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower. 
~Albert Camus

* * *
Autumn Glory

The wonder of life in all the color
with pale blue skies and clouds.
The life of Autumn comes alive
with leaves the lonely shrouds.

Upon the darkened horizon
the landscape and brilliant hue,
the wonder of the empty land
cause trees to take their cue.

They dance and sing in the night
their days are full of flutter;
life it spins a colorful web
with grounds all full of clutter.

I crunch the leaves underfoot
walk in eloquent bliss
The rain it lends aroma
to the earth it gives a kiss. 

The quiet season breathes in me
a sight that steals my soul
I long to share His glory, 
with those who make me whole!

All praise and Glory to Him!

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Quotation Saturday ~ Faith, Hope, Love

Job 6:11 “What is my strength, that I should hope? and what is mine end, that I should prolong my life.”


“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.” 
― Shel Silverstein

“Hope is the thing with feathers 
That perches in the soul 
And sings the tune without the words 
And never stops at all.” 
― Emily Dickinson

“I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you're going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.” 
― C. JoyBell C.

“TO BE HOPEFUL in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.
What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places—and there are so many—where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.
And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.” 
― Howard Zinn


“All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Sometimes God allows what he hates to accomplish what he loves.” 
― Joni Eareckson Tada

“The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings.” 
― J.M. Barrie

“Wait on the Lord" is a constant refrain in the Psalms, and it is a necessary word, for God often keeps us waiting. He is not in such a hurry as we are, and it is not his way to give more light on the future than we need for action in the present, or to guide us more than one step at a time. When in doubt, do nothing, but continue to wait on God. When action is needed, light will come.” 
― J.I. Packer


“Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.” 
― Christian D. Larson

1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Stress and the Net

Psalm 124:2-5 (NIV) “If the LORD had not been on our side when men attacked us, when their anger flared against us, they would have swallowed us alive; the flood would have engulfed us, the torrent would have swept over us, the raging waters would have swept us away.”

Stress… and the net

There’s a little too much stress going around the internet these days, stress I can not tolerate at this time. I really try to put a handle on it, but in the state of this disease that’s ravishing my cells, I need to control what stress I allow in and what stress I contribute to.

I’ve always been intrigued by weather so when Harvey was headed for Galveston Texas, I kept up to date on when it would hit, where exactly it would hit and the damage. I take devastation very seriously and deaths are nothing to joke about. 

After Harvey pummeled Houston, I began to watch a couple more storms snaking their way through the waters. The jokes from people not directly affected by the storms kind of took a sick and twisted turn. I think damaging a soul for the sake of a laugh is not of good character. You might find it funny and humorous that people are losing not only their lives but also many have lost their homes, their livelihoods. I don’t find it humorous, I’m sickened and saddened by the childish acts of supposed adults.

I didn’t retreat from the social media world when I should have because that is where the majority of my friends reside. I like to read and see what everyone is up to and I also like to be informed about the BC group and what is going on in the lives of other newly diagnosed patients trying this here alternative method. I aim to help but I realize that I’m not as well informed as I thought. Well for me, I am as informed as I’m going to get for now. Apparently, my first month of this crud I inundated my system with some great information.

I look to aid others in this quest but more times than not my words and assistance are shot down by those who know more than I know. I think also because I’m not needy, I’m informative and that threatens people sometimes. You see, every crud is different so what works for me might not work for them and vice versa, what works for them might not work for me. If I try to contradict what they’re saying I feel badgered so I pull myself away and into isolation I go. I sit back and listen but then the overload of information gets jumbled. I’m done trying to dissect all the information as it comes into view. I slowly back away.

Then another hurricane, Irma, took aim after devastating the Virgin Islands in the Caribbean then the beast set its sights on the U.S.! Trees and homes were chomped away like fried chicken and taters as the monstrous hurricane chewed its way through not only trees and homes but also lives. Irma was now setting her sights on Florida, another state with friends of mine. I can tell you, they were not the ones making jokes before or after.

After I made sure my friends were all okay, I chose to step back and take a breather. Away from the word cancer, away from people, away from drama, away from the stress drama causes, away from ignorance and hate and just isolate me and build strength in the Word!

While I can’t do much more than pray for the victims of the hurricane's devastation, my prayers will have to be a sufficient enough form of caring for those who’ve lost so much. While it does take the focus off of me, it hurts me to read and listen to the tragedy everyone has had forced upon them. While my heart bleeds for all involved, I feel selfish in caring for myself. I’m battling a deadly disease, these people are battling a tragedy also but at least they’re alive, for now so am I.

And to those who find humor in this devastation, I pray for them and their lost souls. Next thing you know they’ll be joking about cancer, oh no wait, that more than likely has touched their lives so no, they won’t joke about that. Our world is being consumed by its own form of cancer and while I like laughter as much as the next person, death and devastation are not the place and time to find humor.

Hebrews 13:5b, “For God has said, ‘I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.’”(NLT)

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Poetry Sunday ~ Autumn's Score

Rev. 22:2 “In the midst of the street of it, and on either side of the river, was there the tree of life, which bare twelve manner of fruits, and yielded her fruit every month: and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.”

Autumn’s Score

One by one they fell 
Lifeless where once alive
No more life in hell
From the tree, they dive.

Spiraling without sound
Swept away by wind
Falling to the ground
The veins therefore rescind

Leave the tree so bare
Vitality now within
Gone without a care
The barren knows no sin.

Stoic bark and beauty
Asleep the life no more
Thumbprint lasting duty
Spring is autumn’s score.

Saturday, September 09, 2017

Quotation Saturday ~ Hurricane, Death, Destruction

Prov. 15:11 “Hell and destruction are before the LORD: how much more then the hearts of the children of men?”


“Do you know why hurricanes have names instead of numbers? To keep the killing personal. No one cares about a bunch of people killed by a number. '200 Dead as Number Three Slams Ashore' is not nearly as interesting a headline as 'Charlie kills 200.' Death is much more satisfying and entertaining if you personalize it.

Me, I'm still waitin' for Hurricane Ed. Old Ed wouldn't hurt ya, would he? Sounds kinda friendly. 'Hell no, we ain't evacuatin'. Ed's comin'!” 
― George Carlin

“Demons never die quietly, and a week ago the storm was a proper demon, sweeping through the Caribbean after her long ocean crossing from Africa, a category five when she finally came ashore at San Juan before moving on to Santo Domingo and then Cuba and Florida. But now she's grown very old, as her kind measures age, and these are her death throes. So she holds tightly to this night, hanging on with the desperate fury of any dying thing, any dying thing that might once have thought itself invincible.” 
― Caitlín R. Kiernan

“He knew too what it was to live through a hurricane with the other people of the island and the bond that the hurricane made between all people who had been through it. He also knew that hurricanes could be so bad that nothing could live through them.” 
― Ernest Hemingway

“Despite the fact we give hurricanes names like Katrina and Rita, a hurricane isn't a self-contained unit. A hurricane is an impermanent, ever-changing phenomenon arising out of a particular set of interacting conditions - air pressure, ground temperature, humidity, wind and so on. The same applies to us: we aren't self-contained units either. Like weather patterns, we are also an impermanent, ever-changing phenomenon arising out of a particular set of interacting conditions. Without food, water, air, and shelter, we'd be dead. Without our genes, family, friends, social history, and culture, wouldn't act or feel as we do.” 
― Kristin Neff


“You don't need another Human Being to make your life complete, but let's be honest. Having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn't see them as disasters In your soul, but cracks to put their love into, Is the most calming thing In this World.” 
― Emery Allen

“A poet should be so crafty with words that he is envied even for his pains.” 
― Criss Jami

“How many times had those awful words - "I know what I'm doing" - been uttered throughout history as a prelude to disaster? ” 
― Christopher Buckley

“Over the years, Americans, in particular, have been all too willing to squander their hard-earned independence and freedom for the illusion of feeling safe under someone else's authority. The concept of self-sufficiency has been undermined in value over a scant few generations. The vast majority of the population seems to look down their noses upon self-reliance as some quaint dusty relic, entertained only by the hyper-paranoid or those hopelessly incapable of fitting into mainstream society.” 
― Cody Lundin


“I want to be around people that do things. I don’t want to be around people anymore that judge or talk about what people do. I want to be around people that dream and support and do things.” 
― Amy Poehler

“What is home? My favorite definition is "a safe place," a place where one is free from attack, a place where one experiences secure relationships and affirmation. It's a place where people share and understand each other. Its relationships are nurturing. The people in it do not need to be perfect; instead, they need to be honest, loving, supportive, recognizing a common humanity that makes all of us vulnerable.” 
― Gladys M. Hunt

“There are going to be times when you learn more about the world you’re entering and feel defeated when you see the gap between the ideal and the reality… But that’s something we’ll all face. The people that face those obstacles and overcome them are people whose dreams come true.” 
― Tsugumi Ohba

“No person, trying to take responsibility for her or his identity, should have to be so alone. There must be those among whom we can sit down and weep, and still be counted as warriors.” 
― Adrienne Rich

“The next time you want to withhold your help, or your love, or your support for another for whatever the reason, ask yourself a simple question: do the reasons you want to withhold it reflect more on them or on you? And which reasons do you want defining you forevermore?” 
― Dan Pearce


“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.” 
― Anaïs Nin

“To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.” 
― J.K. Rowling

“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” 
― J.R.R. Tolkien

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” 
― Mark Twain

Phil. 3:18-19 “(For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ: Whose end is destruction, whose God is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things.)”

Friday, September 08, 2017

Sometimes... A Rest

Job 11:18 “And thou shalt be secure, because there is hope; yea, thou shalt dig about thee, and thou shalt take thy rest in safety.”

Sometimes… I just need a rest...

I don’t know if you noticed, but I posted for five days in a row after a week of no writing. Sometimes I just need a break and sometimes I just can’t stop writing. 

It’s not what you do in this physical body that God rejoices over, it is what you do in the spirit. My spirit is waning thin so I think I need a rejuvenating withdrawal from a society that sees me as well. I tried mowing the other day a little and my hubby who could see in my face I couldn’t do it anymore, stopped me short of the finish line. I hadn’t even done a lot I just wanted to try and do one of my favorite things in the summer for exercise and that’s mow.

Sometimes it’s just not meant to be. Sometimes He just wants us to rest and I’m not one that takes sitting down lightly. I would’ve kept going, working until my knees buckled but again cool temperatures or not, mowing wasn’t in the cards. Not much IS in the cards these days except writing, that keeps me busy.

I think I’m just going to take a break from it all. I’ve said that before only to come back the next day posting and commenting but quite honestly, I’m getting bogged down. I need to stop worrying what everyone else is or isn’t doing and I need to focus on ME! Me and what I’m doing to get myself well.

I’m in a BC support group on facebook but it doesn’t really feel like a support group, it’s more information to use and rules, what you can and cannot say, what you’re allowed and not allowed to post and it is all constricting like a Boa wrapped tightly around my neck. It also highlights all that I’m doing right but moreso things I may be getting wrong. After using all the money for supplements now is not the time to tell me that maybe this or that one is just not right but I’m glad to learn as I go.

I have enough supplements to get me to January, my one year mark since my diagnosis, then I’ll be out here on my own scraping the bottom of the barrel for the most important vitamins to keep in my arsenal. I can’t stress about that now, it is too far in the distance. With everything going on in the world from fires raging, taunting regimes, earthquakes rattling, hurricanes destroying, floods, tornadoes, there isn’t much ground left for society as a whole to hide.

Me, I don’t want to hide from it all, I just want to see and appreciate all the beauty in front of my eyes. From the silky blades of grass, to inhaling the newly mowed lawn, to playing with the hose a few more times before it gets too cold to do such an activity, to watching the falling leaves. Life is too short to worry about the physical, I’m going to inscribe in my soul the spiritual that will sustain me to the end.

I’ve noticed something with this disease, people are more sympathetic with you when you’re bald and accepting chemo, struggling in pain, vomiting, and accepting chemotherapy. Maybe getting sliced open appeals to some and it helps people sympathize easier. But when you’re going holistic, you appear well so nobody really gives a flying fig. Oh don’t get me wrong, some do, but when a friend writes on her wall, “Wouldn’t you like to just be able to slap some sense into people, this is a serious disease.” I know it was aimed at me and it’s okay, I have sense; I’m choosing to say NO TO DRUGS! That’s the best sense available to me. I’m healing and will continue to do so.

I’m glad that the drugs work for some. I’m glad people are living healthy lives and breathing with no problems from their chemo. That’s great it worked for THEM. It would never work for me. It just wouldn’t! I’m going to climb on my high horse now, then ride off into the sunset, and settle down with a good book and wait for winter to wrap me in its arms. If I think of something to write, like after the hurricane season finishes wiping out the states. God bless you all! I understand wanting to do it your way! Ride out the storm, you live you live, you die…oh well, at least you lived. That’s exactly how I feel. 


Pss 55:6 “And I said, Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest.”

Wednesday, September 06, 2017

Touch the Spirit

“‘You are the God who sees me,’ for she said, ‘I have now seen the One who sees me.’” Genesis 16:13b (NIV)

Touching the Spirit 

Well, it seems to me I’m an odd one. Why not when I think I can touch the Spirit. What you say? We’re used to just basing our faith on things unseen but what is this touching the Spirit?

My dear friend said: “We can lay our hands on spaceships, and books, iPods and plastic bottles, and we cannot touch a Spirit. HE can touch us, but we cannot touch HIM. So there's always that point of disconnect. Always that feeling of being out of step because the God we trust on we cannot touch with our hands, see with our eyes, hear with our ears.”

Gosh, when I read that my mind went exploring! It drifted off to the time I DID touch Him. I touch Him often and I assumed everyone else did also. I know after you read what I say you’ll say, Oh that, that’s not the same. It is very real to me. It is what makes me an oddball in the crowd. It makes me the crimson in a sea of yellow. 

Just so you know, while I can physically touch an iPod, I never have, the same goes for a spaceship, but my heavenly Father, oh yes, I’ve touched Him; my fingers brushed his robe, my hand held his hand, my arms wrapped around Him in an embrace but in Spirit form, it is like hugging liquid.

Ezekiel 1:26-28 “Now above the expanse that was over their heads there was something resembling a throne, like lapis lazuli in appearance; and on that which resembled a throne, high up, was a figure with the appearance of a man. Then I noticed from the appearance of His loins and upward something like glowing metal that looked like fire all around within it, and from the appearance of His loins and downward I saw something like fire; and there was a radiance around Him. As the appearance of the rainbow in the clouds on a rainy day, so was the appearance of the surrounding radiance Such was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD And when I saw it, I fell on my face and heard a voice speaking.”

I think maybe first you need to understand who and what He is. God is Spirit not a man, not sitting up on the puffy white clouds. God is not hiding from us in the shadows, He is in plain view for all of the world to see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. When you stop seeing Him as ‘up there' sitting on a majestic throne in the icy sky maybe then you can intimately feel that He is within, without, He IS dwelling in every living thing. 

Psalm 139:7-12
"Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will lay hold of me. If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night," Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day Darkness and light are alike to You."

I think what makes me an oddball is that I believe and always have known I have more than five senses. Yeah, that just makes me weird that way. I think when you’ve died twice and then came back to wander among the human species you feel just like the astronaut who has been taken into space then brought back here to live out the duration of your life on earth, except one thing, when you die, you touch the Spirit realm.

When you touch a point of light and it streams through your fingers like liquid in your hand, or when you listen to music and it vibrates through your body like an electrical current surging through you, it is at those moments that spirit is passing through you. 

Take this statement as an example, “He can touch us but we can’t touch Him.” I mean no offense but that doesn’t make sense to me because my reality tells me otherwise. What is touch? Is it a physical, material object?

Acts 17:27-28 “that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; for in Him we live and move and exist, as even some of your own poets have said, 'For we also are His children.'”

When my mother hugs me, I feel her love wash over me like a waterfall. I live well over a thousand miles away and I can still feel her hug in her voice, I can still feel that love spray over me. It’s no longer physical but I can feel her and know she is there. God is no different in that aspect, He can seem far away but still be within me.

1 Corinthians 3:16 “Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?”

As assuredly as I can touch my arm, run my fingers through my hair, softly scan my face with my fingertips, I can feel Him there. God becomes physical when I allow my very fingertips to caress any material object that He created.

1 John 2:16 ESV “For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.”

The soil in my garden is dry and sandy. I tried many years to grow plants, veggies, food, but rarely did I get anything from my crop. I couldn’t afford to put rich soil in the ground, or fertilizers, so I had to trust the land to provide beauty for me because if the earth doesn’t provide then there is no need to plant. This year I threw my hands in the air and said I’m not planting and whatever comes up will have to be provided by God himself and I will tend the garden when it shows up. As you can see below, God showed up!

You’ll say when I tell you that my annuals come back year after year it’s because of seed drop the year before and you’d be right but still, my annuals sprouted from the ground and put on a display of beauty that I had no hand in except the watering of the garden. God touches us in the most mysterious of ways. The same can be said for us, we TOUCH Him in mysterious ways also but it is still TOUCH! 

When I stroke a leaf, I feel the swell of life surfing through my blood and I connect on levels most would never understand. The veins of a leaf are not much different than the very DNA flowing through the cells of my body. It is the sustenance of LIFE.

I think the problems with people are that they disconnect from God. They don’t see, hear and feel Him in everything. They place Him in a book, they shape Him into molds, and they form Him out of clay. He becomes a material when that was never His intention in ways to be among us. He is a spirit that dwells in us, the temple. When He looks at us, He doesn’t see us from afar, He isn’t out there in the world swirling clouds to make storms strike the earth because we were bad.

Storms form because of man's inability to restrain himself from filling the skies and land with toxins that create a mess in the atmosphere and a terrible storm is in essence, the clouds letting off backed up emissions, to put it simply, the clouds burp! 

2 Chronicles 16:9
"For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. You have acted foolishly in this. Indeed, from now on you will surely have wars."

Zephaniah 3:17
"The LORD your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.

When someone says to me that I cannot touch God, there is no way to humanly kiss the Spirit, I have to digress. Contact is in different forms not just by handling. That’s like saying a man with no arms can’t paint a portrait, I’ve seen it done. I wasn’t there for the act but I’ve witnessed the fact. I challenge each of you today to look for the Spirit WITHIN and embrace what has been there all along. He has never left you for one nano second so don't ever give up on Him. Seek and you will find.

Isaiah 52:10 “The LORD has bared His holy arm In the sight of all the nations, That all the ends of the earth may see The salvation of our God.”

Tuesday, September 05, 2017

It Strikes Me...

Prov. 31:25 (NLT)“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” 

It strikes me…

Well, it hit me again, I was walking through Wal-Mart and it strikes me as odd at a number of people not even paying attention to what they’re buying. They just look, grab, and place the merchandise in the cart. Me, I’m scanning every label, reading every ingredient, more times than not replacing the product back on the shelf, even when it says organic.

Now that I know what I’m looking for at the store, it sure makes shopping much easier, because I can avoid the aisles with stuff I don’t need and if hubby wants something, he goes off on his own to get it without making me venture down the ‘toxic aisles’.

Then something hit me this week. I rounded the bakery section and was heading to the checkout and it caught my eye, a pink shirt with the decal on it ‘FIGHT FOR THE CURE’. As I got closer to the shirt, touched it, looked at the bold lettering and the pink ribbon, tears began to well up in my eyes, but I didn’t want to cry in Wal Mart. I knew what the shirt was saying, I knew all too well. 

You see, I always looked at those things and just became saddened for other women who fought, were fighting, or had lost someone. But for me? I never associated the pink with me. I never saw myself as a ‘one day that’ll be me’, no, I never let it cross my mind, I never grasped that straw.

And here I was gazing down at the pink shirt, touching the fabric, running my fingers over the letters and realizing it is me. That decal is referring to me. I’m one of them; one of the hundreds of thousands of women who this pink ribbon stands for. I felt small, I felt like an ant in the middle of the store with all the big humans passing by not seeing me carrying the heavy crumb. They were passing by not giving me a second glance. I was nothing on their radar. They were hurried and rushed and I stood there just looking at this shirt.

I let it go. I didn’t want the pink, I didn’t want to associate with what the shirt stood for. I in no way wanted any part of it. Just like the disease that is running through the very cells of my body, I don’t want any part of it. I seek normal, I just want what I deemed to be normal back and yet as I run my mind through the reality of it all, I have to let it go. Normal will never come back and this new lifestyle is the new normal for me. I have to accept that.

As we were driving home I asked my husband what the shirt said. My brain to me said FIGHT THE CURE, and my husband said no, it said fight FOR the cure. So as I held that pink shirt in my fingers, my mind was telling me a truth FIGHT THE CURE. That is my reality. THAT is the shirt I want to wear.

To me fighting FOR the cure could mean giving the oncologist their rights in filling innocent women with poisons. It is putting your support behind the victimization going on and treating everyone like little gathering ants. Give them a crumb here and there but don’t you dare give them wings! Ants can’t fly and by allowing them to think they can is going to start an entire new breed of ants! Fight FOR the cure could also mean that there has been no cure found. The oncologists give you pacifying drugs but chemo is in NO WAY the cure, so we women must FIGHT FOR THE CURE to be found.

And to me FIGHTING the CURE means just that, fight the very thing that doctors are feeding millions of women. Fight what truth they believe and set out to find your own leg to stand on. Fight everything they hold like poisons to be the ‘cure’. Because as I’ve learned over these past eight months, the doctors are only selling you what the pharmaceuticals are selling them. I could be 100% wrong, but again, all that I’ve learned in the past eight months tells me that I and thousands of other people are feeling the same thing I am and trusting their instincts and finding what works for them!

Our bodies were created with an immune system. That immune system is in place as a healing mechanism that the human body utilizes. To me, not trusting God’s creating abilities, is in a sense not trusting God at all. When you look at a DNA strand, do you realize how intricate that strand is and all it stands for? The strand is God in an intimate shower within you.

Hebrews 4:16, “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” (NIV)

When you were little, didn’t you come to depend and trust your father? You looked up to him and held him in the highest esteem and trust. When he told you something, you believed it to be true and to this day, I can almost guarantee you utter the words from time to time, “My daddy always said…”
Why would we think that our Heavenly Father is any different than ‘our daddy’? 

If truth be told. God is our daddy and we can trust Him as we walk. Just like your earthly father, He will never lead us down the wrong path. We’ll stumble, we’ll fall but he’ll see to it that his gentle loving hand lifts you back up and sets you on the right path again. We just have to trust Him like we trusted our daddy all of our lives. He did NOT give me this illness, that’s like saying he led down the wrong path like he made me destroy my body. Nope, we all know where sin comes from and my torturous life led me to this illness, not God. 

It strikes me as kind of odd that people put more trust in a human than the intricate, intimate Creator. Maybe it’s just me; maybe I’m the odd one. I separate myself from this disease so it doesn’t own me. I face the enemy with the Sword of Truth. I strike the lies before it strikes me!

James 4:8, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” (ESV)

Monday, September 04, 2017

Never Lose Sight of the Light

Pss. 16:10 “For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption.”

 Never Lose Sight of the Light

I think you all know by now that I’m an optimist. The past week or so I’ve been down, filled with aches and pains but the one thing that keeps me trudging through the mire is never losing sight of the Light. 

I can feel all of your pain for me as I unleash some of my darkened days. Rest assured my friends, they are far and few in between. It may seem like many days and to me, imagine, it seems like walking through the fires of hell but then I’m reminded, we all have to go through hell before we ever taste the sweetness and beauty of heaven. Even Jesus himself descended into hell before ascending to heaven, so what makes you or I any better than Christ?

If I just shared all of my happy, happy, joy days, that would not be giving you a realistic picture of all that I’m going through. I could lie and paint pretty murals of a joyous journey of beating one of the most devastating diseases eating man and woman alive this day and age. No, I’m choosing a realistic approach and giving to you the good, the bad, the ugly along with the strength and beauty along the pathways of my survival.

I might also want to add that I’m still learning as I go and believe it or not while there are tons of compassionate caring folks out in the world, there is an equal amount of naysayers who just don’t agree with a person doing alternative treatment. They think science is right, doctors are trained professionals and that is who they believe, everyone else is just quacks! I have to steer clear of those people but they get through the protective cracks of open groups on Facebook like Chris Warks? You know, the young man who is celebrating 14 years cancer free after going alternative? 

I read a comment on a thread on his FB page about how science is right, Chris is promoting people to kill themselves and that vegetables can’t and doesn’t cure cancer! Well, had they actually watched Chris Wark's module they would have known that at no time does Chris say vegetables cure cancer. He pretty much touches base on EVERYTHING as the cause and he talks about the spiritual side of the healing, the supplement side as well as the juicing side. But he still never claims it to be a cure but people attack him constantly calling him a fraud! He never responds because he has work to do, he doesn’t sit on facebook all day fielding questions and fighting back with the TRUTH of HIS HEALING!

I do understand that everyone has an opinion but in your opinion where you think you’re right, do you lash out at a person so you can be on the high horse? You know what it makes you look like right? 

I don’t believe in science to be 100% right all of the time. I have a good reason. To me, Science is just a theory of a brief moment in time awaiting another theory to prove it wrong. I think that is why I don’t hold doctors with all their years of education to be right about everything. There will come along a smarter wiser and better-studied physician who will prove them wrong. 

Did you know that scientists' thought that all mammals gave live birth? They proved that no mammal laid eggs that is until a new theory came along with the discovery in Australia, of the duck-billed platypus! The furry little platypus not only shocked the zoologists with its beaver-like flapping tail and wide duck bill, but the critter also was the only known warm-blooded, fur-covered mammal that lays eggs! How's that for science?

You see, when I walk this walk, it is toward the Light and I do not stop at the stagnant end of the tunnel where the scientist-doctor know it alls are standing there keeping people from seeing any source of light waiting at the other end of the tunnel for them. It is their way or no way. You HAVE to be wrong because they studied for years upon years and believe what they are selling you to be the truth. Then there’s the platypus that blew their whole theory to smithereens. What do you do with that? 

I know what I do, I follow Moses, David, and Christ because they were the platypus’ of their day. They were the ‘quacks’ if I’ve read and believed the Word correctly. There are people today who are dead set against any belief in the Holy Bible. They are set in their ways at remaining at the end of the dark end of the tunnel and really see no reason to make it to the other side, even if to prove their theory wrong, they’re on their high-horse and millions of Christians worldwide are the ones wrong.

There are SOME people willing to stand up and detach themselves of the stigma that governments made sure their people adhered to. Like cannabis, for example, it is an HERB, it is not a DRUG, it is a medicinal healing HERB, yet there are those floundering because of the stigma they are conformed to, as sad as that may be.

Chemotherapy is a toxic DRUG, one which many were led into the darkened tunnel to believe to be the CURE for a DEADLY disease. I think the platypus FACT can be used here; it came along and shattered the scientists’ theory of mammals. There is science to PROVE that chemo is not the only route, but the high-horse men won’t let facts through the tunnel because they’ll lose billions of dollars.

As I walk through the darkened tunnel, I’m bound to trip and fall. I’m going to have pain-filled days, I’m going to have doubts and fears only because that is the way I was conditioned. I SEE the Light at the end of the tunnel, I FEEL the healing taking place. I have unearthed a TRUTH that was right in front of me all along. Amid death, destruction, floods, pestilence, and raging fires can you say the same? 

My message of HOPE is this…NEVER lose sight of the Light that will one day bring you home!

The LORD says, “See, the former things have taken place, and new things I declare; before they spring into being I announce them to you.” — Isaiah 42:9 (NIV)

Sunday, September 03, 2017

Poetry Sunday ~ No Heaven in Hell

Pss. 139:8 “If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.”

No Heaven in Hell
*a repost from 2015

There is no heaven in hell
Only a place for sin to dwell
The liars charred in flaming fire
When hell becomes their one desire.

There is no hell in heaven
Souls transform like leaven
To rise above the earthly skies
Heaven gives home to the wise.

There is no heaven in hell
The hypocrites home a shell
Tears will be shed for the dead
Who dare not cling to the Bread.

There is no hell in Heaven
Unclean souls to beckon
Roaming through the stardust light
Bid the cosmos a sweeping g’nite.

There is no heaven in hell
The party’s over it's time to quell
Thirst you crave throughout the day
Allow our Lord to Light the way!

~ ~ ~ * * * ~ ~ ~

Isa. 35: 8-10 And a highway will be there;
    it will be called the Way of Holiness;
    it will be for those who walk on that Way.
The unclean will not journey on it;
    wicked fools will not go about on it.
 No lion will be there,
    nor any ravenous beast;
    they will not be found there.
But only the redeemed will walk there,
     and those the Lord has rescued will return.
They will enter Zion with singing;
    everlasting joy will crown their heads.
Gladness and joy will overtake them,
    and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

Saturday, September 02, 2017

Quotation Saturday ~ Life Lessons

Pss. 24:4 “He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.”

Life Lessons

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” 
― Haruki Murakami

“Courage is the most important of all the virtues because, without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently.” 
― Maya Angelou

“We are addicted to our thoughts. We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking.” 
― Santosh Kalwar

“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.” 
― Roy T. Bennett

“There will be a few times in your life when all your instincts will tell you to do something, something that defies logic, upsets your plans, and may seem crazy to others. When that happens, you do it. Listen to your instincts and ignore everything else. Ignore logic, ignore the odds, ignore the complications, and just go for it.” 
― Judith McNaught

“Pain is a pesky part of being human, I've learned it feels like a stab wound to the heart, something I wish we could all do without, in our lives here. Pain is a sudden hurt that can't be escaped. But then I have also learned that because of pain, I can feel the beauty, tenderness, and freedom of healing. Pain feels like a fast stab wound to the heart. But then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings and flying through the air! We may not have wings growing out of our backs, but healing is the closest thing that will give us that wind against our faces.” 
― C. JoyBell C.

“There were people who went to sleep last night, 
poor and rich and white and black, 
but they will never wake again. 

And those dead folks would give anything at all 
for just five minutes of this weather 
or ten minutes of plowing. 

So you watch yourself about complaining. 

What you're supposed to do 
when you don't like a thing is change it. 
If you can't change it, 
change the way you think about it.” 
― Maya Angelou

“Certain things in life simply have to be experienced -and never explained. Love is such a thing.” 
― Paulo Coelho

“I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.”
― Robin Williams

“You take people, you put them on a journey, you give them peril, you find out who they really are.” 
― Joss Whedon

“I'm not a body with a soul, I'm a soul that has a visible part called the body.” 
― Paulo Coelho

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” 
― Albert Einstein

Friday, September 01, 2017

An Event Full Night

Ecc. 2:14 “The wise man's eyes are in his head; but the fool walketh in darkness: and I myself perceived also that one event happeneth to them all.”

An EventFULL Night…

After yesterday’s post and the evening’s lousy night sleep I had the night before, I needed a distraction; something to focus on besides my drama issues. It came via a text message from my son yesterday morn. He was at work and was letting me know he was running late and he’d explain more when he got home. He’s been working the 11-7 shift since earlier this week when a three-year employee was ‘let go’. The man was fired but politely they call it ‘let go’.

Anyway, I live in a nothing-ever-happens kind of state. Statistically, we’re 85% cows. In other words, just farmland and small towns where nothing juicy ever really happens. Now keep in mind, I’m originally from Baltimore, Maryland where events like the one I’m about to tell you about happens every hour on the hour.

I think I see now why my son WANTED to work at a hotel as opposed to a pizza place, food store, or in retail. Hotels generally have an air of mystery surrounding them (think Shining) and this is the job he wanted and landed and has been HAPPY with for two full months now! (Yay)

So let me set the lead into an event full evening (technically morning) he had. Last week during a full house (88 rooms or so, taken) because of the Solar Eclipse, his hotel experienced a total blackout for 22 hours, due to a treacherous lightning storm, where he almost stepped on downed live wires, I might add! He handled the event like a champ. Even his boss was well pleased with his handling of his entire shift in the darkness situation. His position is a Front Desk Clerk, where he knows all and sees all that’s passing through the front doors of the Overlook Hotel. (real name of hotel protected for obvious reasons)

On the thirtieth, my son was asked to stay at work a couple minutes later because the ladies needed to feel protected from the events that took place that morning across the road. Him, and coincidentally a male trainee were present, so they both stayed while things calmed down. Apparently, the hotel across the road was robbed at knifepoint. No one was injured in that incident where the perp had loitered for hours before robbing the clerk, by wielding a knife demanding all of their money. The perpetrator got away with an undisclosed amount of money, just to note, hotels have very little cash because everyone uses credit! The police were scanning the other hotels in the area, putting employees on high alert making them aware of what took place. My thoughts were ‘wow, this kind of stuff never happens here!’ It made the news, by the way. Also another note, there are about twelve hotels in that vicinity, all within close proximity because of the closeness on and off the major highway. An update as of today, the man was arrested without incident at a convenience store.

Then yesterday the thirty-first happened, I received a cryptic text from my son saying something about his boss making him stay because he was high! This from a kid, okay he’s twenty-one, but has never smoked anything legal or otherwise, nor has alcohol passed his lips! So when he said he was high, I began to wonder. I heard the car nearing the house with the blaring music 'round the corner of our driveway, and laughter. He is never one to belt out laughter but there it was sounding like a young man after a night of partying!

He came in the door laughing, giggling all over himself. I said, “What on earth happened?” At first, I thought cleaning supply fumes or something like that, but no, his story was much more colorful than that.

It seems that at around 2 a.m. four police officers came into the hotel asking him questions about a wanted criminal. They suspected he might be in the hotel. They were led there by something you’d see on that show Stupid Criminals, a room key was left at the gas station next door; the perpetrator had left it behind. My son verified that the man and three other men had checked into the hotel.

Apparently, one of the men was wanted for the murder of a small child in Chicago. There was also a possibility that one of them was a suspect in the knife wielding robbery of the day before at the hotel across the road. Now what I am about to say is not meant in a racist way by any means, but when four shady looking African American men show up in a basically 90% white community, radars are normally raised, not in a racist or politically correct manner either. My son was raised in a heavily populated black community so his bars weren’t raised that high, but obviously, the police officers knew something no one else did. I believe white thugs would raise the same bars of suspicion just so you know.

The officers had to wait for a search warrant and when it finally arrived the action ensued. He didn’t say how it all went down but can you imagine, my son, fairly new to the job experiencing this? Remember, he was trying to do his work through all of this and he had to remain calm and professional at the front desk. The officers went up to retrieve the perpetrators but returned with only one screaming man, yelling expletives, in his underpants as they hauled him off to the car, while the other officers stayed in the room to ‘collect evidence’. The other men had already gone and moved on, I guess.

When the officers left with bags of marijuana taken from the premises by six-thirty, his boss had arrived for work. Yes, being the good boss that she is had stayed in touch throughout the night. My son was informed that he’d have to take an ozone ionizer to the room because of the smell, so off he went, unknowingly walking smack dab into a heavily filled room of smoke and residual crap. Hour upon hours of the men smoking weed had built up in the closed room. Apparently, the officers happily took what they needed and left the rest behind for the hotel to clean up.

My son said there were remnants of weed/marijuana everywhere, cans and trash literally, porn, beer cans, and remnants of smoked weed. He had to get around everything to plug the ozone ionizer in and just being in the room for ten minutes left him buzzed from having contact with the toxin filled room. When he came down and gave an assessment of the room to his boss, he was giggling all over himself, she exclaimed, “Your high aren’t you!” Laughing he went on to say how the room looked and all that needed to be taken care of before the room could ever be rented out again. She informed him he shouldn’t drive home yet. She knows my son well enough to know he’s not done anything like beer/weed so he was obviously buzzed and it might not be safe for him to drive.

He came home happy as a clown at a kids birthday party. Through bright smiles and giggles, he said, “Is this what it feels like? I like it! Everything looks so, so, vibrant!” His actions scare me because what he, as a good citizen has stayed away from, met him front and center. After taking his shower before going off to bed he stated, “I’m hungry.” That’s when I laughed, he had the munchies and his first contact buzz ever after an event full night at work!