Sunday, April 23, 2017

Embracing My New Life

Prov. 16:24 “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.”

Embracing My New Life

First, let me just say that I have some of the most amazing friends! When I’m in a venting mood they sense me knowing me so well and knowing I’m doing my best and being so strong in this illness, they surround me to lift me up and give me strength! THAT’s what friends are for! Thank you! You’re precious to me!

I think I touched a nerve in my post about what I eat and how I miss food. Don’t misunderstand me. I never really ate that much food before my illness and I’ve always really deep down wanted to eat this way but when you have a kid and a hubby who likes unhealthy food, I comply. I think I’m the kind of person that always takes care of everyone else before I take care of myself. As you can see, that is not always the best line of defense.

With this illness, I’ve found friends who already eat this veggie way, or are willing to change their diet to make themselves more healthy. If one person changes the way they look at food and all its ingredients after reading my post, then praise be to God! 

You see, as much as I want this new lifestyle to be about me, this diagnosis has hit my husband and son pretty hard. My son, who is twenty-one fears losing his mother and my husband, who lost his dad to lung cancer, lost a young cousin (thirty-three) to colon cancer and has an aunt in hospice now with cancer, doesn’t know what to make of me and this decision to go alternative. 

Do you see? All of these losses and all chose chemo. The doctors never gave them alternatives or even suggested current clinical studies, they threw them into the chemo chair and now they are deceased. I am not saying chemo didn’t help YOU if you are a current survivor, I’m saying chemo didn’t help members of MY family, too many to list, and I want to see if an alternative treatment works, for my husband, for my son, nieces or nephews. I NEED to see if there are alternative routes. I’m willing to do this instead of becoming another statistic in the family.

I’m trying to be strong for hubby, son and my family and they’re trying to be strong for me. But I hope you realize the thing about me again is, I always think of others before I think of myself. When I post about my food shopping excursions, it's really about me hurting to see hubby digging and digging looking for one thing that isn’t there for me. He is trying so hard and this is his way of dealing with what I’m going through.

My husband is the non-communicative type. He’s so much like my father it is eerie at times. When I ask him if he’s okay with me doing the alternative treatment he says, yeah, and goes on with his day. I thank God every day for giving me more than five senses because I can sense what hubby’s thinking and feeling and I sense that he’s afraid, afraid of losing me.

I know my husband doesn’t have the strong faith and devotion to God that I have but then again, not many people do. I don’t think myself a diamond, many people can find a diamond or pearl, I think myself a rarer gem like the elusive Black Opal. I don’t say that from an ego standpoint, I say it from an observational standpoint. I also think my friends would agree, I’m a rare gem among the crowd. Let me just note, I have many friends who are rare gems also! We are a rare breed slowly going into extinction but we are out here fighting to stay ALIVE! 

As I pray and meditate day and night to heal myself, I have a family back home that I have released; I had to, to heal. A friend had said to make amends but I have nothing to mend back there, I reached out and only my sister and her daughter have reached out to show support. My mother still does not know of my diagnosis, she is not well and still grieving heavily for her husband of sixty years and my sister and I agree, she’s just not well enough to know.

I need to heal! If I stress over what is back home, I won’t heal. Luckily over the past thirteen years, I’ve written so much that has aided in my emotional healing, I believe it was strengthening me for the here and now.

Since my friends are so supportive and understanding, I now have them seeking out recipe’s for me whether from online or their own. They’re the ones going to get me through this! They’re the ones on this journey WITH me and doing everything within their power to help; monetarily or otherwise THEY are here for me! My friends along with my Lord are my strength!

Alkaline Foods I CAN eat: 

ALKALIZING VEGETABLES (preferably organic) 
Chard Greens
Collard Greens
Fermented Veggies
Green Beans
Green Peas
Mustard Greens
Nightshade Veggies
Parsnips (high glycemic)
Sea Veggies (not a fan of kelp, but hey, I’d give it a try)
Spinach, green
Sweet Potatoes
Wheat Grass
Wild Greens

So you can see, there is a lot I CAN eat! My list of no eats is on the list of Acidifying side of the list. I cannot have acidifying elements! The cancer cells love toxins and acid is the home of toxins. Recipes with the above ingredients will be greatly appreciated and may even wind up in the book I’m writing, with your permission of course. 

My friends, we can do this! With your support and encouragement, I KNOW I can do this! Onward Christian Soldiers…let’s go to battle! 

God bless each and every one of you! 

Saturday, April 22, 2017

My Realization

Some see an electric pole, I see a cross
2 Sam. 22:40 “For thou hast girded me with strength to battle: them that rose up against me hast thou subdued under me.”

The Realization

Well, I think I’ve discovered the reason for my ‘grumbles’ as some call it. It’s the realization that this is my new life and it isn’t going anywhere soon. Let me ask you, when you walk into a food store what’s the first thing you see? Food, right?  Now look at the food, all of it and think, I can’t have any. That is my new life. This is the source of my grumbles.

My new life consists of expensive foods that I probably shouldn’t even be eating. I’m cautious with every bite and every single purchase and hubby is always on the lookout for something I ‘might’ be able to eat. If it’s a fruit or vegetable, yippee, that’s me, but I’m human, I don’t like every fruit and vegetable on the market. But I'm willing to try those once disliked veggies.

I can’t eat processed food so the majority of boxed, canned and frozen foods are out of the question. The brown eggs hubby buys me are four dollars a dozen (sometimes on sale) and I go through a dozen a week. I go through two bags of seven-dollars-a bag of grapes a week, and strawberries I eat a lot of whether in season or out of season.

This is my reality. This is the realization that if I want to live, I cannot visit a fast food restaurant ever again. I can’t go to the new Dunkin Donuts that just opened up. Visiting a movie house would be as torturous as going food shopping, the aroma alone will eat me alive. Not that we visited any of these places often, but we had a choice. Now, my only choice is live or die. I look at every item on the shelf and painstakingly have to look at the ingredients. No soy, no wheat, that just about leaves me meat and dairy which is not allowed either, so yeah, that leaves cruciferous veggies, fruit (not all), and berries.

If you’re on a diet, you have a choice. You can cheat, you can go off your diet at any time, and honestly, you can look forward to your diet ending and going back to eating all the food you want. I myself, don’t have that choice. Again, my only choice in the matter is live or die! If I cheat, I am cheating myself of life and my willpower is too strong for that. I choose life, plain and simple.

I am not complaining, I am not grumbling, I’m letting you in on the realization that THIS is my new way of life. I do have a choice, I could live or I could die, quite simple choice, no? I choose life. Why grumble, why whine? Because the realization hits you in the face, that THIS is your new way of life! Let’s say you’re driving down the road and a Mack truck is heading straight for you, in that instant, you swerve to miss the head on collision. You chose to live, you chose to live with the realization of what plummeting into the ditch will cause.

I’m out here in the middle of nowhere building my strength. I go to the food store to see just how strong I am and I’m getting better! The first time I went food shopping, I left bawling my eyes out, the second and third time were a little better, but last time we left the food store we had to stop and get gas. Tears overflowed my eyes in silence. The pictures on the outside of the gas station were images of donuts. We sat next to a Buffalo Wild Wings, another new business I never had the chance to try. 

Surrounding me was a Burger King, an Applebee's restaurant where we had our wedding day meal, and then there was Wendy’s where I had my last meal from the outside world. The images and memories just poured in and my eyes reacted, my heart hurt and I cried. This is all a part of my healing too as I see how strong I am each day and just how much this little lady can take. 

Then there were the people hurrying out of the surrounding places with either a drink or food in their hand or lighting a cigarette. There were big people and little people, short people and tall people all with the same choice as me, to live or die, and my crazy mind is thinking that they are choosing a slow death over life. I can sit here and say it’s their life and I don’t care what they do but in all honesty, I DO care. I care very much whether people live or die. I can’t change their choices but I can hear their voices, and not one of them are saying, I WANT TO LIVE! 

You can say that this is me judging people but I say it is me observing people. I do care whether people live or die but it is not my CHOICE on what they choose in life. I, a little late in life, choose to live and this is the realization of my new way of living. 

2 Sam. 22:33  “God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect.” 

Friday, April 21, 2017

Signs and Wonder

Pss. 71:7  “I am as a wonder unto many; but thou art my strong refuge.”


I’m seeing the signs of healing and I wonder, is all of the hard work worth the time and effort to get to a healing point? I have to say yes because I know God has a purpose for everything. God uses pain and suffering to show you the miraculous. You might not see it as miraculous but trust me, to the individual the suffering is happening to, it is nothing short of a miracle.

It has been three months since the devastating blow to my ego, to my everyday life, to my harmonious routine, the blow to the core of my being. Why hadn’t I seen the signs leading up to this prognosis? Why did I ignore my instinct when any other time I listen wholeheartedly? I’ll tell you why I didn’t want it to be true. 

Back when I did a post Putting the Puzzle Together it made me think of those little pictures I used to do to connect the dots and in connecting the dots it formed a picture? Remember those? I used to have big thick coloring books filled with them. I loved putting puzzles together too and there is nothing worse than getting to the end of the puzzle and finding you’re missing a couple of pieces, or in connecting the dots you missed a number and the picture isn’t fully complete. 

I traced the puzzle pieces all the way back to childhood trauma of injury and the rancid acts of sexual abuse and have been mentally working on those elements to heal portions of me that need mending but I see I’ve missed a couple of pieces that were instrumental in completing the puzzle namely psoriasis. Why had I skipped it and left that major piece of the puzzle out? Shame? Embarrassment? 

In the past three months of researching the causes of this illness, I found a missing puzzle link in the fungal skin disorder psoriasis and another one in underwire bras. I know right, who would’ve thought? I’ve worn underwire bras my whole life and thought nothing of the warnings that they could cause breast cancer. I just thought they were trying to scare people but now I think differently. 

I have bought hundreds of bras in my lifetime and some have padding in them BUT there is a slot where you can slip out the padding? You ladies know what I’m talking about? Well, there are no slots to slide out the underwire. I hope by this posting and putting the thought out there, it will soon come to fruition and makers of bras will make slots to REMOVE the underwire, to protect women instead of worrying about making money off of them. 

As much as the Big C is a billion dollar industry, so are women’s breasts! We have organizations that fight for animal rights, for abortion laws, we have people fighting for the food industry but why are women not fighting for their dignity back? They continue to allow men to demean them in ways of Fredrick’s of Hollywood, where they are allowed television time to be displayed and flaunted all the way down to fast food restaurants like Hooters and Twin Peaks. It’s demeaning and degrading and women worldwide are allowing this to happen.

While I’ve made marked changes in my undergarment wearing, I’m seeing the signs of healing and no longer wonder. Rarely in my lifetime has my psoriasis cleared up, but now it has been clearing. I had irregular periods last year (due to being perimenopausal) but recently it has returned, when it would stop for months at a time. There are signs I need to look for since I have no doctor willing to do any tests to see my progress, I need to be vigilant and actually look and SEE the signs of changes. Hopefully, I’ll listen to my instincts this time if it tells me this alternative method is not working. Right now, it IS working and my healing is moving forward.

I’m aching in places that fill me with wonder. Every bump I feel, I wonder. Every bite of food that goes in my mouth, I wonder. Every day that passes I wonder. The difference is this, I don’t wonder out of fear, I wonder out of expectancy… the expectancy of HEALING taking place!  

Pss. 139:6  “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

Thursday, April 20, 2017

I'm At A Standstill

Hebrews 1:14 “Are they not all ministering spirits, sent forth to minister for them who shall be heirs of salvation?”

I’m at a standstill

Can you believe I need a break from writing? I’ve written and written and now I just want a break but as usual, I’ll ask the Lord what He wants me to do first. I've just had a tiring grumpy kind of week, so let me vent a little.

I’m bogged down with too much information and I’m dismayed by negative misinformation. You see, I live in a state that believes GMO’s are not harmful because their government put out a bulletin stating such. They believe crops should be sprayed with chemicals and ingested with no worry of harm. 

They also believe cannabis should not be legalized for medicinal usage because it will entice kids to smoke weed. Forgetting that their kids smoke weed WITHOUT marijuana being legal, but let’s keep the MEDICINAL USAGE away from people who NEED this PROVEN medical breakthrough!

They believe kids should be given twenty vaccines within a two year period and again, believe what the government feeds them. Instead of believing scientific factual statistics proving some of these vaccines are harmful to their kids, causing autism, ADHD or brain damage. 
Read this heartbreaking story. No, it’s not scientific facts, this is a human beings experience with vaccination! 

But guess what, some states are NOT ALLOWING the freedom of CHOICE to make the vaccination decision on your own! THAT is the America you live in, run by a mega-rich reality TV star and his family.

I live in a state that believes conventional methods are the ‘right’ methods and people and doctors who don’t believe in their conventional methods are ‘quacks’. So you can see what I’m up against here, while my other account on FB is for my family I have to basically abandon it if I’m to continue to heal.

You might want to note that even chiropractors were thought to be quacks at one time and now they are an accepted practice to healing the spinal problems this nation has. Maybe this being the twenty-first century and all, more of the conventionalists will come around and start accepting and allowing non-conventional treatment. I can’t afford to go to twenty different doctor’s to find one that’ll work WITH me, the closest Naturopath is over 100 miles away in Lincoln. All I have where I am is TWO (yup TWO) extremely conventional oncologists. 

While I usually go over to my other FB account to visit my nieces and all their baby pictures, I get bombarded by GMO’s are good posts. I’m slowly eliminating any view of the continuous feed of misinformed conventionalists. I am also subscribed to Breast Cancer Alternative Treatments and even they are depressing. While I go for support of other women doing the alternative route all over the world, there are too many women posting that they went conventional, are now sorry and need information to guide them. As much as I love helping people, I’m not at the stage where I feel knowledgeable enough to help in this field.

My healing is dependent upon love, friendship, support and positive flowing energy. I know all this ‘energy’ talk may go against your conventional methods but as you can read, I’m a quack amid the good company of men and women in the medical field that also are choosing to go against the grain of traditional methods to HEALING!

What I don’t understand is why is there even a market for the organic growing of fruits and vegetables, vegetarian fed chickens and meat, or raw milk if GMO’s are so healthy for you? You’re not going to tell me that vegetarians and vegans had this impact all by themselves. I think people realized you know what, why do those eggs fresh outta my friends chicken taste better than store bought processed eggs? 

Why are farmers afraid to admit that eating pesticides is like adding one too many dashes of salt to your food, you’re going to pay in the end. Is it all about money? Will they make less money and lose more crops if they DON’T use fungicides, pesticides, Round-up? I know there was a time when farmers used to depend on good ol’ God for taking care of their fields; I guess they gave that up to the rising economy. 

After going to the food store one too many heartbreaking times, I need to isolate myself from basically the world and all of the negativity. This is a sad world and it isn’t going to change because Joni’s sick. Nope, I have a funny feeling it is just going to get sicker and sicker, blinder and blinder, darkened and more darkened. And to think they wanted me to spend the last days hooked up to a poison machine? No thanks, I’ll drink in God and await His arrival. 

I have to thank my special friends who take their time and their money to think of me. When I get down and grumpy, I need to see some kind of light at the end of the tunnel and in all honesty, they are all I have besides God, to lift me up where I need to be… HEALING that’s where I need to be! You are truly a blessing to me. You know who you are. <3 and="" b="" hugs="" tight="">

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Back In The Saddle

Heb.10:38-39 “Now the just shall live by faith: but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him. But we are not of them who draw back unto perdition; but of them that believe to the saving of the soul.”

Back in The Saddle

On what you deem Easter Sunday, that was the day I celebrated my New Year. Everyone else celebrates his or her New Year on January first but to me, that is just the changing of the calendar; Easter to ME is a pagan holiday whereas Resurrection Sunday is my New Year, the day I celebrate new life, new living, and new breath breathed into my being. That day has been my New Year celebration for about thirty years now.

If ever I was the kind of person to make resolutions, this would be the day I’d commit; after Lent, after fasting and after the Resurrection! But this year has been a forced kind of change, I’m not complaining because to me it just meant a forced change that was needed and welcomed. Granted I didn’t want an illness to force me to change but then again, how else is one to change if they don’t know something needs fixing?

While this illness is all still new to me being only twelve weeks in, I’m healing and visually SEEING the healing taking place. This is why I write so as to share with you my wonderful journey of faith, hope, and promise. Faith leads me where I need to go, it also means I have no need for a backup plan if things were to go south. I DON’T CARRY THAT KIND OF DOUBTFILLED NATURE! Faith is just what it says, 100% trust in my Lord and Savior. Not, what if He falls short? Bite your tongue! My Savior NEVER falls short, thank you very much.

Sunday I had to miss the yearly family get-together; the first time in eight years that we missed. It wasn’t that I wasn’t feeling well I was protecting myself. I did tell hubby he could go and enjoy all the food that would be there along with candy dishes placed all over. I spared myself the torture of watching people gobble unhealthy food down and trying to remain quiet as I what, ate fruit and celery? Then the questions… nope, not going to put myself through that.

Hubby was sweet enough and wanted to stay home with me, so I made him a nice meal of chicken and mashed potatoes and gravy. I had my own dish of noodles that he found at the store that had zero carbs/sugar and made out of yam flour! He works at an awesome store that carries some of the strangest stuff (in a good way) and hubby is always on the lookout for food that I can eat. I actually cried when I saw the noodles because he knows how I miss my spaghetti! Ya gotta love, ‘im! 

Finding meals is difficult since the no carb, no sugar, dairy, processed foods, or GMO meat is allowed in fighting this disease. The things you CAN’T eat outweigh the foods you can eat. And so my meals are basically raw salads, fruit, and vegetables. After the first four weeks of all veggies and fruit, (the first two weeks I didn’t even have fruit) I allowed myself a small amount of vegetarian fed, non-GMO chicken, and eggs. Example: 2 scrambled eggs for breakfast, and a chicken breast topped salad for dinner. He buys two chicken breast per pack, I cut them in half to make four meals out of them. My stomach has shrunk and I don't need a ton of food to sustain me. 

Hubby even found grass fed, non-toxic beef! I made a delicious meatloaf that we all enjoyed because I don’t like beef so I shared but it sure was good tasting a nice meatloaf with REAL beef. Then there is the supplement intake...

Not that I trust WebMD but for those who think I may be taking a toxic level of supplements, put your mind at ease. I'm doing my homework on what my body needs and is lacking.

With this illness, it became OBVIOUS that I am deficient in many vitamins and nutrients. No, the taking of supplements will not cure this disease but the drastic change of my unhealthy eating lifestyle CAN. No disease can live in a clean body. So you clean out the liver, kidney, and colon; it's called detoxifying. You change all the toxins that go in and with success, all the toxins will come out.

I didn’t only change my eating habits and switched to purified water, I changed what goes onto my skin like lavender deodorant, almond soap or aloe vera body wash; what I breathe in, I now use a cleansing diffuser; my exercise, now up to two twenty minute walks a day (weather permitting); also my daily prayer, worship and meditation. Everything changed, not just the foods I ate and the supplements I take. I learned a great deal from The Truth About Cancer. Namely the seven ESSENTIALS to fighting the disease.

Let food be your medicine - healthy eating leads to a healthy body, inside and out
Detox your body - highly important or supplements are useless
Balance your energy - POSITIVE needs to outweigh the negative
Heal any emotional wounds you carry around- stress is detrimental
Biological dentistry – your mouth is the doorway to illnesses.
Herbs (herbal teas included) and vitamins - nutrients your body NEEDS to be sustained. 
TRUE PREVENTION – not what the government feeds you to believe.

You’d be surprised how important sleep (true prevention) that eight hours of it, is to your overall health. Each doctor I went to asked me how much sleep I got and I told them eight hours and they looked puzzled. I could feel them thinking, people really get eight hours of sleep? I do and I can feel the sleep importance with each hour. A good night's rest allows all the supplements and nutrition from the day to work the physical and mental cogs of my body.

With my new year has come an even keel. I don’t want to read any more about this illness, I don’t want to listen, I just want to move forward on this plane of existence to my healing. Yes, I know knowledge is good but I really need to stop all the info and utilize what I’ve learned thus far. It’s balancing my energy where it needs to be placed.

While I appreciate everyone’s thoughtfulness, a girl can only take so much and I just need to breathe. I may be happy go lucky the majority of the time but I have my bad days where I don’t even want to turn on the computer out of fear of what will be pushed on me on any given day. I need positivism, I need prayer, I need love. Without those three things, stick a fork in me, I’m done. 

I keep on keeping on and I’m in this race to the end building my strength daily. With God for me…who can be against me?

Pss. 30:2 "O LORD my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me."

Monday, April 17, 2017

A Little Scare

Luke 12:2-3 “For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known. Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops.”

I Had a Little Scare

I’m baaaaack! Did ya miss me? <3 b="" nbsp="">

Last week my hubby came down with a cold, just as Holy Week was beginning. On the eighth, he had to come home early from work because his head was more congested than a California highway during rush hour. He really gets bad this time of year with allergies and his asthma. I kicked into high gear and made him a small pot of chicken noodle soup, all for himself. 

By nighttime, his head was more clogged than the New York City streets on New Year's Eve and the box of Kleenex had dwindled. I asked him if he’d be willing to take a dose of vitamin C for me and he felt so bad, he complied. He had been talking earlier about going to the doctor on Monday so here he was, desperate (as all men become when sick) seeking the vitamin I offered. It’s a 5,000 mg powdered version that I take for my illness, and he drank it reluctantly but got it down like a good boy. 

When he rose from bed Sunday morning, his congestion had subsided and it was minimal. By Monday, he felt fine enough not to call the doctor and even did little things around the house. This is where my little scare came into the picture. 

While I was feeling fine, my throat was a little sore and I thought of the TTAC series that I had watched. What came to mind was a doctor saying, “It’s not cancer that will kill the person [fighting the illness] it’s the common cold. It’s pneumonia.” Patients fighting this illness are already immune-deficient and a cold could be detrimental. 

So, knowing the possible cold germs were invading my home, I had to be careful. Have I been taking supplements long enough for them to boost my immune system enough for me to evade this common cold bombarding my house? I’d have to wait and see. My diffuser was turned on and the air was being cleansed as I wrote. 

I rose Tuesday feeling somewhat fine but by midday, my congestion won out, I was on the sofa, head in hands saying, “what now Lord?” That’s when a little scare crept in. I’ve been doing so good in my healing, would the Lord allow this little invader to take me out? I know He wouldn’t but I also know what would! The place of fear and doubt and whoever is placing THOSE thoughts would take me out!

I turned to prayer and worship! I went on facebook and asked all of my spiritual friends to lift me in prayer as I fight this enemy, right now in the form of a common cold. I prayed and prayed along with meditation and some great worship music to soothe my soul, please be allergies! By nightfall, I was well ready for bed and looked forward to sleeping for eight hours. 

I woke to a sore throat. It felt as if I had swallowed razor blades. I needed something hot on my throat. I allow myself two cups of coffee and it was a sweet reward after a good eight hours rest. Then the sneezing began coupled with blowing my nose, numerous times. Here’s hoping it's just allergies from the seasonal blooming trees. The more the wind howled, the more I sneezed.

I could tell a force of nature, possibly a dark force, was driving this fear of a cold. I opened my email to see some spammer had tried commenting on my blog. This is the reason I have to verify comments but I haven’t seen a spammer in a couple of years since ‘modifying’ comments.

On an older, My Spiritual Friends post this woman was offering me a voodoo doctor. Seriously? A voodoo doctor? I’m obviously a spirit filled person for GOD why would someone think I’d be interested in voodoo? Then my husband on his YouTube channel posted opening and closing credits of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, yeah, don’t ask. I was being hit all around by the dark side, literally. I just added extra garlic to my morning breakfast. Hahahaha, that’s a joke!

I don’t fear the dark side attacking me instead, I prepare and fight back. Monday night my movie pick was God’s Not Dead! Ha, take that. Along with my bible reading and praise and worship the dark was sitting a mile up the road in way of darkened skies and cold temps. Monday, April 10th our high was 43 degrees with a windchill of 30! That’s spring for ya. 

Although the clouds, high winds and cold have kept me from my daily walk, I’m okay with it because I see it as God telling me I need a rest. For every negative, I see a positive! With this cold, I see it as seasonal allergies. With the cold weather, I see it’s time to do some inside cleaning of the house. As dark tries to creep in, I shine my Light so it has no place to dwell!

Wednesday night my movie pick was God’s Not Dead 2, Thursday Prince of Egypt, Friday’s pick Exodus, Saturday a documentary on Christ. My Holy Week had me drowning in the Holy and loving every second of it. No writing on my blog to bog my friends down with Joni’s woes, nope, I shared my heartwarming poetry for the entire week! This week I’ll be back writing, letting you all know how I know what I’m doing is working, maybe share some recipes of my new boring forced diet, and possibly share the dozens of supplements I’m taking. 

*By Saturday the 15th, whatever it was that had gotten to me, a cold, allergies whatever, it was gone and I was feeling almost back to normal. Not 100% but well enough to do some work around the house. 

I wrote this post during Holy Week because well, you just can’t keep a good writer down! I’ll update* this if need be but I hope you all had a most blessed Resurrection Sunday! 

Rom 5:1-5  “Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: [5] And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.”

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Resurrection Sunday ~ My Happy New Year!

1 Peter 2:24 KJV “Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.”

Resurrection Sunday ~ My New Year Begins

By the blood of Christ, I am healed
The truth of Him to me revealed
I do not walk in doubt and fear
From Him I’m fixed it’s ever clear

My suffering is but a small measure
Of the life I live, one that I treasure
Although a shell, my soul’s at home
My body on earth is free to roam

Slithering in the illness came
The ashen rider with death as a name
Catching me weakened and off guard
Knocking me down, leaving me scarred

I rose from the ashes scattered about
Reached for the Lamb, behind me doubt
Fear melted faces of those around me
Until the Light was all they could see

An orchestra of Angels plays a tune
Wraps me in their heavenly womb
I walk with Light and love by my side
The Lord is my Shepherd, my only guide

As Holy Week ends with a signified seal
My journey goes on, I continue to heal
The sidelines are full, friends and angels cheer
On this day I begin my Happy New Year!

Acts 4:22 “For the man was above forty years old, on whom this miracle of healing was shewed.”

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Holy Week ~ One Day I Will Die

Matt. 4:16 “The people which sat in darkness saw great light; and to them which sat in the region and shadow of death light is sprung up.”

~ One Day I Will Die ~

One day I will take my last breath
what will you remember of me?
My intense love of life
My emotional good spirit
or God’s Light that has set me free?

Will you hold my laughter in your hand
Will you see the joy I shared
Am I the girl you’ll always say
“Now there’s a woman who cared.”

One day I’ll whisper my last breath
What will I leave behind?
The pureness of heart
A well lit path
For you to try and find?

Will my passion for nature linger
Will my presence always bloom
Am I the one you’ll remember
Who lit an entire room?

One day I’ll breathe my last breath
The memory of me you’ll trade
Will any portion 
Of me remain
Or will my essence fade?

God light the fork before me
So I know which road to take.
Allow them to keep a part of me
That I know I dare not take. 

Matt. 22:5 “But they made light of it, and went their ways, one to his farm, another to his merchandise:”

God Bless you all! 

Angel Always, Godspeed....

Friday, April 14, 2017

Holy Week ~ I See Him

Eph. 3:3-4 “How that by revelation he made known unto me the mystery; (as I wrote afore in few words, Whereby, when ye read, ye may understand my knowledge in the mystery of Christ)"

I See Him

I see Him in the light of day
I see Him in the clouds that sway
I see Him in the breeze He breathes
I see Him in the soul that seethes

I hear Him in the songs of praise
I hear Him in intuitive ways
I hear Him in the reprimand
I hear Him in the Promised Land

I touch Him in my daily need
I touch Him in diurnal deed
I touch Him with my active prayer
I touch Him with each wisp of air

I taste Him in the scented dew
I taste Him in His words so true.
I taste Him in the daily bread
I taste Him in the cross He bled

I see, hear, touch and taste
The scent of Him in honor placed
For all I see and all I do
It is my God I share with you.

Deut. 4:29 "But if from thence thou shalt seek the LORD thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul."

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Holy Week ~ God Is Crying

Isa. 22:5  "For it is a day of trouble, and of treading down, and of perplexity by the Lord GOD of hosts in the valley of vision, breaking down the walls, and of crying to the mountains."

God is Crying

God is crying once again
The ground is wet with shame
Man can’t see the pain God’s in
Your senseless acts to blame.

God is crying can you hear
The rumbling sounds that stir.
Heaven shakes as tears roll down
The earth to Him’s a blur.

God is crying can you see
The echoes mount the sky
Signs that leak from the clouds
But man dare not ask why.

God is crying do you know
More souls ascend, He bleeds
Fear tears down our only hope
Of fruit within his seeds.

God is crying can you taste
Corroded corpses embers
Here among the righteous 
Godly earthbound members.

God is crying can you feel 
The trembling of His feet
Earth erupts in quaking stance
To rhythmic tapping beat.

God is crying feel his grief
For man has left Him lonely.
I alone will take a stand
To hug Him once if only.

© Joni Zipp

posted on: July 15, 2016

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Holy Week ~ Praise The Father, Praise The Son

Pss. 37:30 “The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment.”

In the Day ~ Praise the Father, Praise the Son

Praise the Father, Praise the Son,
Praise the great and Holy one.

In the day when no love shines
The haughty man will rise
Holding there within his hand
The truth behind his lies.

In the day when people think
That wisdom comes from shores
It sails along the currents feed
Right into open doors.

In the day when man is fooled
By fancy ways of talking
Finding face with a false god
A feeble form of walking.

In the day when man can serve
Two masters in his pride
Humanity will surely fall
And nowhere can man hide.

In the day when man can love
Relinquish earthly hate
Walk along the path with Christ
And enter Heavens gate.

Praise the Father, Praise the Son,
Praise the Great and Holy One.

Pss. 111:10 “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever.”

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Holy Week ~ In His Glory

Luke 23: 34  Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.

~ In His Glory ~
(c) Joni Zipp 

I’ll deeply inhale the mornings' breath
walk through the day of your death;
Weep as tears falls from the sky
raise my eyes to ask You why?

Why did you leave us, why let man win
to bury the burden of human sin?
Will we sit idle and watch as you hang
forgetting all the Hosannas we sang?

Will we remember the blood on the cross
as we lust for life forgetting the loss,
can a man walk ‘round with his head held high,
knowing you came if only to die?

Agony washes through my veins
my heart laments for all of your pains.
I don’t pretend as hypocrites do
to immerse in honor every holiday or two.

I walk in the path that is set before me
trying to bathe in all your glory.
You rise to bask in heaven's glow,
and gave to me the right to sow.

I’ll carry your words, I’ll heal my heart
knowing that you will never depart.
Man tries to mask all that you’re seeing
not knowing You’ve leaked into his being!

I drench myself in the beckoning light,
that cradles me through day and night.
I drink from the cup of all your words
that fill my soul like fluttering birds.

My heart weeps red but unlike you
it only seeps my garments through.
Your bloodshed gives to me new birth
a righteous soul unveiled on Earth. 
All rights reserved: © Joni Zipp

Matt.28: 19-20 “Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.”

GodBless you ALL! 

Monday, April 10, 2017

Holy Week - The Multitudes Shall Eat

Matthew 21:9 And the multitudes that went before, and that followed, cried, saying, Hosanna to the Son of David: Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest.

 The Multitudes Shall Eat

Wayward legs they followed Him,
into the desert they strode.
Not for care of food to eat;
the pace was surely slowed.

Compassion for the multitude
He raised a hand to speak.
“Feed the hungry as they come
for all the ones that seek.” 

Five loaves of bread to feed the many,
two fish to fill the crowd.
Gathered were the faithful, 
now sitting all heads bowed.

“Bless this bread, I give to thee,”
He broke the loaves in two.
Dispersed to his disciples,
with divinity, it grew.

“Fill not only with food you eat,
but also with my Word.
Remember My Father blesses thee,
with all that you have heard.”

Matt.14: 14-21 "And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick. And when it was evening, his disciples came to him, saying, This is a desert place, and the time is now past; send the multitude away, that they may go into the villages, and buy themselves victuals.
But Jesus said unto them, They need not depart; give ye them to eat.
And they say unto him, We have here but five loaves, and two fishes.
He said, Bring them hither to me.
And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass, and took the five loaves, and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed, and brake, and gave the loaves to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude.
And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the fragments that remained twelve baskets full.
And they that had eaten were about five thousand men, beside women and children."

In honor of National Poetry Month and my very spiritual Holy Week, I will share a worthy reposted poem each day ending with Resurrection Sunday!
May God bless you all as you move through this week
remembering what was sacrificed for you.
May you do just a morsel for Him! 
My love to all!

Sunday, April 09, 2017

Poetry Sunday ~ Hosanna! Hosanna!

Mark 11:9 "And they that went before, and they that followed, cried, saying, Hosanna; Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord:"

Hosanna! Hosanna!

He gave life to the dead, cleansed the impure
healed the sick, became all lepers cure.
Fed the hungry, gave sight to the blind,
revealed the innocence of a child's mind.

If you were thirsty, He gave you to drink,
Washed away sins with nary a blink;
Of his eyes we shined while light was dim
righteousness filled our cup to the brim.

Turn your cheek from the one that maims
seventy times if you burn with flames
Forgive, forget, move on I say
I’m reaching out to show you the way.

Disciples slept, while Jesus pleaded
to let him live unless he was needed.
Crying out, He returned to die
while all looked on, not batting an eye.

They rejoiced and sang; praised his name
Hosanna! Hosanna! Into town he came.
Fronds of palms were laid at his feet.
All glory to Jesus our Savior we greet.

But lo and behold this man betrayed,
was scourged and beat but never swayed!
“My Father My Father why have you forgot,
I gave them all that you said they’d have not.”

With one last breath, he gave up the ghost,
shedding blood where man needed it most.
Our sins are forgiven our God came as man
in a wondrous fete generations will span.

Will we remember the sacrifice made?
Can we ever honor the price that was paid?
Do we respect all things that He taught
our souls are free for sins his death bought.

My Glorious redeemer, Savior and King,
I bow with honor my soul shall sing.

Luke 23: 34  Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.

Thursday, April 06, 2017

Questions and Answers

Pss. 145:17-18 KJV “The LORD is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works. The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth.”

Questions and Answers

I think people have more questions than I do answers but I will try my best to give you the most asked questions as I face this battle of a lifetime. I don’t mind answering questions as long as you don’t counter with a negative response, it could cost me what I deem a valuable friendship.

Question: What made you opt out of doing chemo?

Answer: Well, as the oncologist would have me believe, fear. You see they instill fear so you react in fear. Meaning, they give you dire consequences before allowing you to think for yourself and possibly finding an alternative route. 
What made me opt out? Prayer, God’s answers to my prayers, and finding that there ARE options that the doctor’s don’t allow people the chance to know. 

Question: Are you sure you’re not reacting in fear? What makes you so confident?

Answer: Let me ask you, what would make YOU choose chemo, and be honest? How would YOU react and WHY? 
For me, the doctors handed me a dire diagnosis in my eyes. They wanted me to act quickly, so quickly red flags went up in my head overriding the fear. All I asked for is TIME; time to think things through. Their reactions of  ‘Joni’s not committing’ and words like ‘all I hear is fear in your voice, let us help you’, again raised red flags. THEY are the ones I fear; not the diagnosis. I knew right then and there God was answering my prayer. ‘Don’t do it’ He said. So I opted to ‘Just Say No To Drugs’; a motto that carries a lot of weight with me, a thirty-year reformed drug addict.

1 John 5:14, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.” (NIV)

Question: Why do you have such confidence that you’ll beat this?

Answer: My faith gives me confidence. I’ve been through so much in my life that God has led me through, walked with me, never once led me astray, and now has chosen to lead me again, so I go with confidence in my Lord.

Question: Are you saying my faith isn’t as strong as yours?

Answer: In NO WAY am I saying my faith is stronger. We each individually have our own strengths and weaknesses. Your faith is not my faith and my faith is not your faith. As unique as this diagnosis is to every person, so is our faith and so we must do what we feel is right to US. I would never judge you for choosing chemo, or drugs for what ails you. This is MY walk and MY path and I’m just sharing with you on MY journey. If you ask for what is working for me, by all means, I’ll give you an honest answer but don’t be surprised if it turns into a God talk. *smile* 

Question: Why don’t you say the  C word, is it fear?

Answer: Saying the word c-a-, yeah I can’t even write it; it is not fear that drives me, it is empowerment. If I say it, over and over again, I’m owning the disease. I will not own this illness, this is going to flee from me and it will be the diagnosis and word for other people, just not me. Don’t judge me.

Question: How will you know you’re healed? What does your doctor say?

Answer: Like everything else in my life, I will let God tell me. I prayed for healing and He says through His stripes I am HEALED and I believe that with every fiber of my being. 
My doctor’s not surprisingly have disowned me, washed their hands of me. I imagine them pouting because they failed the pharmaceutical company that drives their pocketbook, but seriously, they’ve moved onto their next victim to instill FEAR into. 
I asked my GP if there were test she could do as I face my recovery and she said flat out, NO, there is no test. Hmm… no scans? No blood test? No measurement? No, nothing? I find that odd! They sure had a lot of toxic tests to diagnose me, but now that I’ve refused chemo, there is no test to see how I’m HEALING?
Again, I’m going to trust God on this one. The One who has NEVER let me down!

Question: What are you doing to heal?

Answer: For one, I searched and researched facts! Second, it is a fact that diet plays a key role in the c-factor. No refined sugars, no carbs, no dairy, no meat, no processed food, no grains (grains are sprayed with pesticides). All toxins need to be eliminated to the BEST of your ability. I switched immediately to a majority of all organic fruit and vegetable diet! Only recently have I allowed, non-chemical laden chicken and eggs into my diet, only because MY BODY was/is telling me what to eat and drink!
I drink purified water, green tea, detox tea, and hibiscus tea. Exciting sounding, isn’t it?
I wash my body with my new Almond soap (no toxic chemicals). I’ve changed deodorant; I now use lavender spray. I have an essential oil diffuser to cleanse the house of toxic mold and pesticides from the fields sneaking into the house. I also now exercise. I take two twenty-minute walks a day (it started out as one fifteen minute walk), weather pending!
I’m taking supplements and I’ve recently discovered the healing power of the sounds of meditative multidimensional music. (No, not rock or classical). Music being used as a healing power, who would’ve thought? Me, that’s who! Yeah, I’m weird like that. 
I’m listening. My body is telling me what I need and God has a trumpet in my ear telling me “You are HEALED! You are HEALTHY! You are WELL!” Onward Christian soldier I go, marching as to war, with the cross of Jesus, going on before. 

Question: Can you tell us the supplements you use? 

Answer: Maybe in another post (too many to mention) as I’m putting together facts for my book I’m writing so I need all of the facts and where I’ve been getting my information to take such supplements. I’m not going into this with blinders on and neither should you if ever diagnosed. Get educated! Gain knowledge! Walk with God!

Question: Don’t you need surgery? Are you going that route?

Answer: My body says NO! The doctor wants to slice me open but in all of my research, I found that it may cause the cells to spread out and go into other parts of my body. No chemo, no radiation, and no slice and dice! Fact: the tumor is not the disease! The tumor is a RESULT of damaged sick cells. Cells are tiny as dust motes. When doctors slice and dice, they take more out even if you say no, they are their own god’s and perform as such. My God is healing all of me not just a portion of me!

Question: Isn’t that asking a lot of your God? 

Answer: A RESOUNDING NO! My God created the universe. Was it too big of a job? Certainly not. He created you and every thread of DNA. Too big of a job? Not in any way, shape or form. My God is an awesome God, He reigns! 

You are free to ask me questions but this topic is not open for debate. I feel debates have a negative overtone and there is no healing in negativity! Am I crazy? Some might say I am, others say I’m brave and courageous, I say I’m just listening, to God, to my body, and the TRUTH! 

All praise and Glory to God in the highest heaven! 

Pss. 9:1 "I will praise thee, O LORD, with my whole heart; I will shew forth all thy marvellous works."

Tuesday, April 04, 2017

Being Bombarded

Fort McHenry
Pss. 89:1 “I will sing of the mercies of the LORD for ever: with my mouth will I make known thy faithfulness to all generations.”

Being Bombarded

How are you doing?

Is that a cordial question or do you really want to know? Well, let me tell you, have you ever been to a fireworks show and sat under the spray of tiny embers floating in the air after the big boom of the explosive light show? It’s like a safe bombardment not the one like Fort McHenry received all those many years ago.

I feel like I’m being bombarded with information. While I wake every morning grateful to be alive I can’t help but be drawn back when I realize this is me, this is the me I never expected to be; a victim of a killer disease. I try to take one day a week where I don’t even think about my illness but let me tell you, it was much easier giving up sugars and carbs than trying to clear my mind and screen from the bombardment of information surrounding me.

I’ve subscribed to newsletters, I’ve bookmarked links, I’ve written my heart out, I’ve read until my eyes literally hurt, and I’ve spent nights (not many, mind you) disrupted by thoughts. I normally get my eight hours of sleep but I guess it’s to be expected to have a couple nights where the thoughts won’t be silenced. Prayer calms my thoughts, meditation relaxes me, but sleep evades me when I’m so into prayer and meditation. I guess it’s just a healing mechanism.

I’m okay with healing as long as I can keep the negativity far away from me, but like trying to keep the toxins away, the fight is always a daily battle. People see the picture of me and think that looks like the picture of health. For one, that picture was taken two years ago on my wedding day and while I still look like that, now there is an enemy that has invaded my body and is trying to tear the fragility of my being down to its level.

While I am one strong woman, there is a volcano erupting inside me and no chemotherapy or radiation is going to calm the lava from overflowing. No, I need to change the view, I need to take care of myself from inside out, not out of fear out of necessity.

While I will give The Truth About Cancer and Chris Wark of Chris Beat Cancer much credit in my book Beating Cancer on a Budget, this disease is one enemy I don’t wish on the poor of society because I can tell you firsthand, we are the ones who lose in the end. No one wants to help us, not many want to reach out and save. There are a few who will, but if you don’t have thousands of friends, a voice like Oprah or Ellen fighting for your cause, you are basically on your own, kicking and screaming with no one hearing.

I don’t have the money to buy the TTAC series (praise God, I saw it free twice!) or the CBC series, or the numerous books from the newsletters I’m subscribed to, I don’t have thousands of dollars to fly off to Tijuana Mexico and head to a clinic that actually has a successful HEALING rate, no, I have $634. That isn’t going to pay the two thousand and more dollars in medical bills I have because guess what, insurance didn’t pay ALL of the bills. That isn’t going to cover the chiropractor visits I need, and while my decision to go alternative is not acceptable to the majority of people, I am going to BEAT this enemy on an extremely tight budget and give HOPE to the others out there not having success with the pharmaceutical owned, strong arm of the ancient treatment,  chemo. 

I am eternally GRATEFUL to my dear friends who came through for me. I have a feeling that there are people out there fighting the same battle as me and don’t even have the six-thirty four to buy the food or supplements they need. I am fortunate, I am loved, I am healing, and I will WIN!

While people, even my family, see a picture of health, I’m battling a devastating illness where I’m always looking out for the slightest toxin that can knock me on my butt! A simple cold could take me out because cells that want to eat me alive have bombarded my immune system. People will say, well just get chemo and you won’t have that problem. I’m sorry, I don’t believe that lie. It’s like going to the store and them selling me a lemon meringue pie telling me it’s good for me because it has lemon in it. You might buy what they’re selling, but I don’t. I might pay for my decision in the end, but you’re right about something, this is MY decision, MY choice, and MY way of handling something that wants to destroy me. You can support me or ignore me but I have a LIFE TO LIVE!

Many people don’t have the self-discipline it takes to survive these days. They will take drug after drug, med after med, script after script to sustain them for a couple more years but they won’t take the initiative to drastically change their eating habits to save their lives. People say organic eating is expensive and I’ll say, more expensive than the medications you ingest? Maybe you wouldn’t need all of those medications if you ate more healthy but hey, you only live once and meds will keep you going while you toxify yourself, it’s all good.

I am on a mission of healing! My niece has had a fundraiser going on another FB page of a clothing line that she is a part of, they’ve raised two-hundred dollars for me and again, total strangers are coming through for me! Our God is an awesome God, He reigns! And this my friends is the ONLY place that I find healing! 

Pss. 89:24 “But my faithfulness and my mercy shall be with him: and in my name shall his horn be exalted.”

Sunday, April 02, 2017

Poetry Sunday ~ Dry My Tears

Pss. 6:6 “I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears.”

Dry my Tears

The sun slants over the horizon
Fears in the night fall asleep
A new day dawns of which I wake
Darkness slides into the deep.

Tears they dry by mornings’ breath
I dare not tell a soul
My heart it hides a rhythmic beat
Broken body bears the toll

Silence slithers in morning mist
Unspoken words decay
Alone am I on desolate land
Dried are tears I face the day

Frost it hides from rising sun
Scattered is the cold
It is with Light I dry my tears
Amid the mornings gold.

Pss. 116:8 “For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.”

*This poem was worthy of a repost from Oct. 2016
(c) all rights reserved

Friday, March 31, 2017

The Path To Healing

Prov. 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

The Path to Healing

I myself am on the path to healing. My body is reacting to all the good I’m doing for it and yes, I’m sacrificing my (once thought of) sinful pleasures in life, mainly sugar, processed food, high carb intake, toxic GMO meat and dairy intake.

The willpower it takes to go Cold Turkey is basically almost impossible but I’m of the school, ‘With God, NOTHING is impossible’! Forward I go as I tackle full steam ahead the ‘illness of a lifetime’.

So many people are misled, they are all too willing to believe chicken little knew what he was shouting out from the rooftops that the sky was falling. This is how people see the world, they put so much faith and belief in lies that when the truth slaps them in the face, (the sky can NEVER fall), they become defensive in their fight to be right.

I myself am wrong more than I am right, obviously. I am NOT a doctor, nor claim to be one in this box you come to for a daily fix, I am LEARNING as I go along and if it works for me, yay me! If it doesn’t work for you, I’m not responsible, dig deeper to see what DOES work for you. I will not resort to name-calling as that is a juvenile behavior adults carry with them from childhood and never learn to let go and let God. I pray for them. I pray for a nation, a world that always buys what they are sold, and at a bargain price no less, namely putting a price tag on their life.

You might ask if I’ve given up all of the above listed foods, what is left to eat? First and foremost GOD is my guide before anything this here computer can offer me. That’s right, the Bible tells me what to eat, what is good for me and what WILL HEAL ME! Yes, the Bible says to eat meat but it was not talking about twenty-first century GMO laden chemical meat.

Some days it gets so hard for me, I cry, I bawl my eyes out. My face planted in my palms I admit defeat. I admit that it’s hard to go on every single day watching the world go by frivolously and me out here trying to live and people not understanding the lengths one has to go through to rid themselves of toxins in the world. Whether it’s toxic people, (including doctors), toxic food, or a toxic environment, it’s a struggle. Like feet in quicksand and me, trying to run, and there is no way to accomplish the feat. 

Imagine what life in a straightjacket must feel like. Knowing the key to unlocking the system is right there but you fight and struggle to free yourself and people walk by poking you, tormenting you as you wriggle and squirm. This is the suffocating life of a person fighting for their life, every single day!

What do I do? I breathe, slowly and deeply – I eat, I drink the well waters of Christ, I touch – the very thread of His garment, I’m filled. I meditate on Him, His Word. I grasp all that I’m shown. It may not be for you to see, we all have different walks, different paths. I can only share what is working for ME!

Pss. 1:2 “But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.”

What I eat? The greens of the earth from organic broccoli and lettuce, to cabbage, cauliflower and a host of other vegetables found in the produce section of the food store. Fruits, the natural sugars that God placed on this earth to sustain our need, our want for this sInsational taste bud arousal. (Yes grammar Nazi’s, I meant SINsational!) Fruit, so good it should be a sin to send this delectable treat into your body but instead it is nutrition. Nutrition, something you won’t find in the processed food section of the store.

If I can’t afford to buy organic fruits and vegetables, I go to a better grocery store where they actually take the time to bring you the BEST fruits and vegetables possible, remember their name is being held up to scrutiny so they do their very best for you, the consumer! My husband just so happens to work in a high-end grocery story out here. Our basics are bought at the WalMart supercenter but when this illness hit me, it’s his place of work where we found an incredible difference in our fruits and vegetables. The organic section isn’t closet sized like Walmarts, no, there is a HUGE section of organic fruits and veggies at hubby’s place of work, HyVee! More on that at another time. 

After a day of tear shedding for me yesterday, my husband who is trying so hard to be supportive in what has evidently turned our mundane routine lives upside down, picked out a movie to watch. Inside Out was his choice. We’ve seen it numerous times and I knew what message he wanted to get to me. Behind every tear is JOY! Every moment of sadness is followed by a moment of relief when you see the JOY standing there. I need to feel the sadness, experience the loss, of food, toxins, bitter friends and toxic people; I need to grieve if I’m ever to find a complete JOYFUL HEALING! 

The only place I find MY healing, is God and ALL that He has given us and shown us to be the truth! All praise and glory to God!

1 Tim. 4:15 “Meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all.”

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Putting The Puzzle Together

2 Cor. 8:2 “How that in a great trial of affliction the abundance of their joy and their deep poverty abounded unto the riches of their liberality.”

Putting the Puzzle Together

A lot of the time people ask, ‘why God, why me’ but me I ask what in the world did I do wrong? Then, as in years past, I begin to lay the puzzle pieces scattered about on the table, in this case, string together words, facts, and such, and begin to put the puzzle together.

Maybe this diagnosis was to get me to open my eyes and visually SEE all the wrong I’ve been doing over the years, mainly my eating habits. Connecting my ills to my eating habits was just one piece of the puzzle but we’re talking about a lifetime of puzzle pieces here. Research has helped me connect the dots.

First, let me say, I cannot say enough about The Truth About Cancer! If it was not for them educating me in all I NEED to know to battle this crud, I’d be sitting here today a victim of chemotherapy. I think it started with Chris Beat Cancer but I also think those two are now awesome collaborators together! They are shaking this disease up and making a true mark on the illness! Want to know what the BEST part of these two teaming up? They are BELIEVERS in God!

I am nine weeks into my HEALING and at this time I would have had two rounds of chemo, nearing my third. I’d be curled up in a ball, relinquished to my bedroom and on drugs to keep me from vomiting my guts out. The clumps of hair would have begun lining and clogging the tub, the weight loss would be from the toxic input of chemo, and I would now be a toxic fume in my house bothering the tenants with the remnants of odors emanating from me. It’s called second-hand chemo – and yes there is facts to back this up!

Instead, nine weeks out I’m walking twice a day, eating right and healthy, listening to calming music, healing parts of myself that I didn’t know needed healing, and finding supplements that will be a part of aiding my healing. But first, I need to know how I got this disease in the first place and TTAC has a module series (I’ve watched twice, for free!) that has helped me immensely understand these puzzle pieces. 

I have God front and center in this journey so don’t think for a minute I’m just listening to the worldwide web for my healing. God is first and foremost, front and center! My spirit-filled world is absorbing the healing and I’m being led to give YOU a message. It’s a win/win situation.

I’ve heard, on too many sites to list, that the disease has been inside me for a very long time. I needed to go back and see where it all began as POSSIBLE reasons. To begin to tie it all together were the vaccines we as children that we were given, mainly the polio vaccine. That’s just one tiny piece of the puzzle. And don’t worry, there are many government websites to say this is a fabricated lie, but who will you believe is up to you.

Another piece of the puzzle was traumatic events as a child, possibly before five years old. Now take note, these are not the CAUSES of this disease, they are merely contributing factors. These are pieces of the puzzle that many won’t look into, they will just hear the diagnosis and trust the oncologists with their fear, slaughter, and poison tactics and ‘get cured’. It’s NOT going to happen! If you haven’t looked into, researched and HEALED the cause, there is nothing in this world capable of finding a cure.

I had a traumatic event happen when I was three and a half, I won’t go into too much detail here, I’m saving it for the novel portion of my tale. I was being pushed too high on one those old aluminum swings. I feared it being tipped as I was being pushed too high. I jumped, catching and splitting open my wrist. Long story short, I now have the scars on my left wrist (I’m left-handed, BTW) looking to some as if I was suicidal at times. (a whole different story there) Rest assured, three and a half, traumatic event, another piece of the puzzle.

The next piece of the puzzle is the correlation to a loss. At sixteen the loss of a child had to top the traumatic events in my so far, short life; then another loss of a child at thirty-seven which is enough to cause anyone to be put out to pasture. Nope, not me, I kept fighting and standing strong. My Lord will protect me and He did! Many people around me wanted me to be mad at God but it is when He made me the strongest! 

Apparently, my puzzle is one of those fifteen hundred piece puzzles or more! 
The next piece of the puzzle is dentistry. From mercury fillings of which I had too many to number, to the root canals that I had, to the major dental infection I had just five or six years ago!

Then there is the messed up spinal column. Ironically, my back pain began right around the time of my major gum infection. Coincidence? I don’t, DO NOT believe in coincidences! This is when I began my B12 consumption because I read that the nutrient could repair nerve damage. I attribute vitamin B12 with my never needing drugs for my pain because it worked!

And now, here I am with the disease of a lifetime. I’ve connected the dots from birth until now and now KNOW the cause that led to this. Keep in mind, we all have different dots to connect. As unique as this disease is to every person, so is the treatment for each individual and the very reason you shouldn’t choose chemo because of FEAR! A decision made out of fear is usually the WRONG decision to make.

Now that I know the CAUSE, I will put a little physics into the equation! The action causes a reaction! (Sue me, I use too many exclamation points.) My EUREKA moment for all to behold!!! The actions of HEALING my body, inside and out, will cause a REACTION, inside and out. Praise be to GOD!

1 Pet. 4:12 “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:”

Sunshine Award

Sunshine award