Living Testimony

1 peter. 4:10 “As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.”

Living Testimony

Did you know that people who are terminally ill don’t have a choice where or when they die?

"As of June 2016, human euthanasia is legal in the Netherlands, Belgium, Colombia, and Luxembourg. Assisted suicide is legal in Switzerland, Germany, Japan, Canada, and in the US states of Washington, Oregon, Vermont, Montana, and California."

A couple of months ago my husband went for a yearly check-up and we were told about A Living Will. His doctor said, that although we were young and presumably healthy, we should have one prepared in the event that if anything happened to either one of us, where our families might feel they know what we want in the end, this would be our notarized decision.

I boldly told hubby that I would never want to be kept alive by feeding tubes or on machines. We’ve never thought of stuff like that before and oddly this was what we were to think about but never got around to and here I sit today.

No, don’t worry, this is not going to be a downer post this is going to be the uplifting inspiring posts that you’ve come to expect from me! You see, nobody wants to think of death, yet it is a natural part of life. We want to think of uplifting positive journeys and what we need to do before, well you know, the time comes when we’re called home.

1 Pet. 4:11 “If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God; if any man minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth: that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.”

I always see the positive in the negative and this illness is no different. I don’t see this as a time to roll over and let the doctors do with me what they will, I see this as a time to stand up as my ancestors before me weren’t strong enough to do. I’ve always been a rebel of sorts, going against the grain. For crying out loud, I chose St. Joan of Arc as my patron Saint when I was a young girl in a Catholic school when the nuns were against my CHOICE.

I’m no longer a practicing Catholic but I still do somewhat admire Joan of Arc for all she stood for. Standing for Christ when all others rejected her and thought that she shouldn’t fight in a long-running war at a very young age. What is strangely odd is that unbeknownst to me, her father's name was Jacques d’Arc. Years ago, I named one of my dogs Jacques. Yup, same spelling. Weird, huh?

Some St. Joan of Arc quotes:

“I am not afraid... I was born to do this.”

“If I am not, may God put me there; and if I am, may God so keep me.”

“I was in my thirteenth year when I heard a voice from God to help me govern my conduct. And the first time I was very much afraid.”

From History. Com. “Against the advice of most of his counselors and generals, Charles granted her request, and Joan set off for Orléans in March of 1429 dressed in white armor and riding a white horse.”

I only bring Joan of Arc up because this is what I feel like from the doctor’s trying to force me to get chemo and feel they will burn me at the stake as soon as I mention talking to God about this decision. They can’t burn me at the stake here in a free country but if I was under eighteen, you can bet they WOULD force me single-handedly to take the chemo route. 

My mother's aunt had breast cancer, went the chemo/butcher route and it was the family’s belief that by opening her up it allowed the disease to spread. The same thing happened to my father’s aunt and my own aunt and uncle. Ancestrally, many family members all went the same route and I’m not defying the doctor’s, besides me doing this with God, I am doing this for my deceased family members who might not have known any better or any other treatments at the time. I’m doing it for my son, my nieces, and nephews and their children who might find themselves dealt the same hand as I am dealt. I am doing this for God who keeps reminding me of Romans 8:31 “What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?”

They need to know that it is okay to go against the grain! It’s okay to be a martyr and listen to God! It’s okay to swim against the tide, away from the fish all heading in the same direction. Stand alone if you must but always think of the greater things outside the box. This is the one legacy I’ll leave to my son and my nieces and nephews. They’ll know first and foremost I stood with God and this is where He led me and never did I doubt or fear where I was being driven. I trust Him with my life, literally. That’s what we all must do. 

As you thought this post would be a downer, you were led to a place of hope. Hope in tomorrow and hope in the Lord our God and where He leads us. The hardest part is giving Him 100% trust but when we do… I can’t explain the liberating freedom that comes along with the trust. All I do know is that I’d rather be in no other hands but His! Praise Be to God!

1 Pet. 4:12-13 “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”

Rejoice! Healing Taking Place!

                                       

Pss.5:11 “But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee.”

Rejoice! Healing Taking Place!

Many might not see this as a healing taking place but let me tell you, witness a HEALING taking place. As many know I had a new oncologist visit last week and also a PET scan. Read over the past weeks posts to see my take on the onc.2 and all he had to say. Once again the issue of chemo is trying to be forced on me and I’m standing with God as I trust HIS healing over mans.

On Monday the 6th of March, I got a call ‘to inform me of my doctors appointment’ on Tuesday. Last week I told the doctor and his assistant that I COULD NOT come there this week as my husband HAS to work. He only has a part time job due to his disability and has already been missing too much time. I guess it went right over their head and they put me down anyway for an appointment on the 7th of March. I called, the woman put me on voicemail where I left a message that I was NOT able to make the visit.

On the 7th, my doctor called. His message went something like, “I have your PET scan results and you didn’t show today for your scheduled appointment.” I called right back and he was supposedly in a conference, but ironically he called me back immediately. Short conference? 

“Joni, your scan shows that your cancer is only in left breast. Good news, it is not spreading. Now we treat this with chemotherapy. You make an appointment.”

I repeatedly told him, “Not now, I have to see what else it out there, I need to look into alternative treatments, are there any clinical studies out here in Nebraska I can get in on?” Twenty different statements all with him piping in, “we have chemo, it is scientifically proven to heal you ninety percent guarantee! You come in. If you knew what I knew, you would come in right now.” He has a very strong Bulgarian accent and he is very pushy as most doctors are because they believe themselves to be Gods and the owner of your soul. 

I told him AGAIN that this is MY decision, MY body, MY choice. He said, “We no can help you if it spread and go stage four.” THAT, my friend, is a bold lie! In all my research there IS help for three-hundred pound tumors and stage four cancers. He either hasn’t done his homework, or he is set on telling lies to get his patients to commit. I like to call this ‘strong-arming’! And keep in mind, he had just got done telling me that this crud I've been carrying noticeably for a year, HAS NOT SPREAD!

I went on to tell him that I’m being hit with two thousand dollar doctor bills and tests that my insurance isn’t covering. I again said I cannot come in because my husband NEEDS to work to pay for these bills! My husband is on S.S. and works part time; he NEEDS to work. Good old doc pipes in, “we help, we get you financial assistance.”
He said he’d get his navigator to call me to talk about where we can get financial assistance for these mounting bills. I said, ‘fine’, we said our good-byes and the call ended. I felt liberated; this crud IS NOT SPREADING!!! I said my peace and left it at that. I then went to spread the good news to my dear friends and my naturopathic niece who are an immense support system at this time.

Later in the day on my voicemail, there was a message, the nurse navigator lady. “Hi, we’d like to set up an appointment for you to come see the Dr.” I believe this is getting to be borderline harassment! How come what I say goes in one ear, out the other but I’m supposed to jump at their very fear tactics? I hope they know all this is being documented. 

My niece said, “If he can guarantee 90% healing through chemo, I can guarantee 100% through alternative routes!” She is a storm trooper! My friends all said, good news, keep up the good work, let God continue to heal. See there it is! It is GOD who is doing all the healing. I don’t believe for one minute that chemo can HEAL me and thus it WILL NOT heal me. I BELIEVE God CAN and WILL heal me and I’m sticking to my dedication to Him! The Almighty Healer.

Now don’t get me wrong, if you went the chemo route and it worked for you, then praise be to God that it worked FOR YOU. I don’t believe it will work FOR ME and that is the only reason I’m choosing to go a different route. 

Matt. 9:35 “And Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people.”

Now someone keeps asking about surgery and the size, etc.. Let me make this clear, I am not depending on God to heal a portion of me, I KNOW He will heal ALL OF ME!!! I will not go the 'butcher me up and radiate me' route. Read that again, GOD IS THE ALMIGHTY HEALER! I TRUST HIM FOR HEALING ALL OF ME!

You all might be wondering about my arthritis and my inability to walk very well? Let me tell you, I went to WalMart the other day, I usually let hubby do the shopping but Sunday I said that I wanted to go. I WALKED to the front door, went to the garden section, walked all the way to the back of the store to the car dept., then headed over to the food portion of the store, shopped, checked out and walked back to the truck. 

I asked my husband as we got in the car, “Did you see me?” He noted, “Yeah, I did, I see a difference!” He has seen my body basically deteriorate over the years and yet here he stood, seeing a difference in just ONE MONTH of my holistic healing!

Like I said, God is not healing a PORTION of me. He’s not just carrying one illness, He’s taking hold of my entire body! This my friends is what trust and faith is doing for ME!

The other day the woods too close to our home caught fire. On a 35 mph, sustained wind day with gusts of up to 50 mph carried the towering flames higher and higher but AWAY from our home. I sat in the house so as not to toxify my lungs with the strong odor that hung in the air. But the blackness could be seen too close for me. I remained calm and prayed. My newly mopped floor was covered in soot; you could feel it skidding under your feet.

Do you see the raging battle? Are you paying attention to all that I’m writing? Where something can be seen as devastating, I am turning it into a positive. Where something is trying to control ME, I control the situation. Where things around me try to dim my light, I only shine brighter and brighter!

I am REJOICING in the HEALING taking place in my body! I am moving forward not backward! All praise and Glory to Him who is Most High!

Pss. 9:2 “I will be glad and rejoice in thee: I will sing praise to thy name, O thou most High.”

My Lil Primrose

Matt. 5:6 “Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.”

My Lil Primrose

It’s been a little over a month now since my diagnosis of the illness. January 25th will be forever etched in my mind but as February 25th came and went I almost forgot it had been a month that had passed and seemed like this crud had slithered into my body quite some time ago.

Well, actually it has resided in me for quite some time. The lump became known in December of that terrible year of 2015 that I had three deaths in the family, including my father. It was a tiny and small lump and I paid it no mind thinking it was just a cyst of some sort. They happen sometimes when you’re pre-menopausal. 

Everybody says don’t go to google, so I didn’t because google searches always lead to death in some way, so I steered clear as I mended from the losses. I knew the lump had to be taken care of but it was not in my hands, God held this the entire time and made the moves necessary for it to be diagnosed when the timing was perfect.

People probably wonder if I feared the imminent diagnosis and I can say, no, not really. I’m sure some small part of fear was lurking in there somewhere but when you’ve overcome so many hurdles like I have in my life, you kind of pretty much place the fear in God’s hands, have faith and trust Him with where everything goes.  

What I do fear is a system that tries to force their self-righteous indignation down my throat. A friend reminded me that I am doing battle with worldly-minded people and it hit me, that’s exactly what these doctors are, worldly-minded trying to push their worldly beliefs on me, the weak at the moment child of God. I stood up, looked in the mirror and repeated what I said to myself out loud, “I AM A CHILD OF GOD.” 

I remember a couple years back when I had to have my teeth pulled and the dentist gave me nothing for pain and no antibiotics to go home with to care for myself. He just told me to ‘gargle with salt water and let the body heal thyself’. Kind of shocking, eh? A doctor who don’t believe in pacifying his patients with drugs?

This was around the time I was diagnosed with lower lumbar facet joint arthritis. I believe this was the time that the c-cells were awakened. No, I’m not one hundred percent sure, they could have been triggered by the loss of my daughter thirteen years ago and they just slowly progressed to where I was most weak. All my research this month has pointed to stress and fear being underlying culprits in the c-cells stretching, yawning, then attacking! A one-two punch, so to speak. The above link is an informative six-part series on healing cancer. 

Throughout these years, I’ve been healing, growing and mending. I’ve grown in my faith, become stronger in my belief, and held fast to the garments of Christ's robe dangling in my face as I crawl toward Him to get one gentle touch. 

I’m reminded of the temptation of Christ where Jesus was being tempted by satan. He offered him the world, just like my doctors are offering me, life, a precious few years added to my life if I walk with them and go to their healing place. This diagnosis is my temptation, this is where they instill fear in me so I walk with them, but no, I am reminded of Jesus’ words.

Matt. 4: 1-11 “Then was Jesus led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil. And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred. And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread. But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple, And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone. Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God. Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them; And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me. Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve. Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.”

As everyone knows me and who has read my blog over the years, they know I’ve done a Lenten series. This year I was distracted from that with this illness but lo, look at the past month. I have somewhat been forced to fast; no carbs and no sugar. I am being weakened by the doctor's dire prognosis, but I AM STRONG, I need you to know that THIS is my temptation! This is satan trying to lure me into his pit and my only strength is coming from the spiritual family that God has chosen to surround me with prayer at this time and Jesus Himself being the only set of footprints I see on the shore of healing. 

Primrose. You may remember a month ago my mother-in-law coming out to see me; she was bearing a gift of the primrose plant. It was a sad little plant wilting and hanging low. My MIL informed me the next day that she was sorry the plant looked so sad and she’d have to replace the little fella. I told her not to worry about, this lil guy was going to be just fine! 

Each day as its leaves curled and petals fell from the stem I tended the small tender plant with sunshine, love, and care. As I write today my lil survivor is now the beauty I knew it would be. He overcame the sadness with love and care and now has NEW flowers to show me as it basks in the Son! 

My visit to the Dollar Store this weekend found me purchasing a door hanger that said, 

“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.” I BELIEVE in tomorrow!

God bless each and every one of you as you are faced with your own temptations and know that the Lord your God is with you all the way! 

Matt. 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.”

Power in Prayer Part II

Job 15:4 “Yea, thou castest off fear, and restrainest prayer before God.”

Power of Prayer Part II

Since being diagnosed with this illness, what fell into my lap at the precise timing were online modules, Chris Beat Cancer (CBC) with Chris Wark, and The Truth About Cancer, a docuseries with Ty Bollinger.

The CBC modules told how as a young man Chris was diagnosed with colon cancer. They operated on him and afterward wanted him to do chemotherapy immediately and he refused. At the time, he could afford to say no and went the holistic healing route.

He flew to different states talked with different doctors, found a doctor who would inject him with vitamin C as he searched and searched for healing remedies. Twelve years clean of the ickyC, two children later, and thousands of dollars on vitamins and herbs, he put together a ten-part series on how he won the battle.

A Christian man from the beginning, Chris first went to his church where he was a part of the worship team and informed them of his diagnosis. What did his church family do? They prayed over him to be guided in his healing. They surrounded him with prayer and support as he pursued the holistic way of healing.

He was told at the beginning of his diagnosis of all the ugliness surrounding chemo. How chemo destroyed your immune system, how he’d never be able to have children and how sick he would be on chemo. He right then and there said no way to chemo and went his own way finding a Naturopathic Doctor to assist in his journey. 

From google: How does chemo affect your immune system?
Cancer can weaken the immune system by spreading into the bone marrow. The bone marrow makes blood cells that help to fight infection. The weakening of the immune system happens most often in leukemia or lymphoma. But it can happen with other cancers too.

What chemo does to the body?
Chemotherapy drugs are powerful enough to kill rapidly growing cancer cells, but they also can harm perfectly healthy cells, causing side effects throughout the body. Chemotherapy can interfere with the body's ability to produce healthy blood platelets, red blood cells, and white blood cells.

Can chemo kill you?
If you take chemotherapy and it doesn't kill all the cancer cells, you will find yourself in a very vulnerable position with a decimated immune system. You will have little defenses left to prevent any remaining cancer cells from reproducing. ... Most chemotherapy drugs are carcinogenic, that means they CAN cause cancer.

How effective is chemo?

What does exposure feel like?
Large doses of ionizing radiation in a short time period lead to Acute Radiation Syndrome (ARS), aka radiation poisoning. The severity of ARS symptoms depends on the level of exposure. A radiation dose as low as 0.35 Gy could feel a bit like you have the flu—expect nausea and vomiting, headaches, fatigue, and fever.

What does radiation do to the body?
Ionizing radiation—the kind that minerals, atom bombs and nuclear reactors emit—does one main thing to the human body: it weakens and breaks up DNA, either damaging cells enough to kill them or causing them to mutate in ways that may eventually lead to cancer.

There is so much more on the destruction of your cells from chemo and when I asked my oncologist #2 about it, he said he didn’t know where I heard that info (why, google of course) and that the cells regenerate and I’d be fine. What? He also NEVER informed me of ANY of the statements above from google, just sign here on the dotted line to be fed into the chamber.

The Ty Bollinger series on The Truth About Cancer (TBAC) is about hundreds (possibly thousands) of testimonials of people who just said NO, to chemo! One young man was given four months to live, he had heard about cannabis oil but where he lived in the UK it was illegal. He went through channels to get the oil and four months later he went back to the doctor for a screening and the tumor was shrinking and the C was leaving his body. His doctor told him whatever he was doing, to keep it up.

There is a testimonial where the government FORCED a woman and man to put their child through chemo and threatened to take their other kids away. They secretly were giving their child holistic remedies and their child was responding while the other children in the ward were getting sicker and sicker and many losing the battle.

I could go on and on about the amazing testimonials I watched in the past month on the power of prayer and the healing of our Lord. Yes, what all these people had in common was FAITH in God!

Pss. 4:1 “Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness: thou hast enlarged me when I was in distress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer.”

When I was first diagnosed, I told my dear spiritual family I didn’t want to go the chemo route and the majority prayed for me and told me to listen for God’s answer. God spoke to me in the way of those two modules that coincidentally were FREE (now they cost) and fell in my lap when I prayed to God for guidance. (You know me, I DON’T believe in coincidence!)

Some will say, “That’s not God talking, you need chemo, the big C is a killer.” Well people, it isn’t cancer that’s the killer and the sooner you accept that the more enlightened you will become.

God may have told you to go the chemo route, He might have said I’ll hold your hand and be with you every step of the way, but FOR ME, He did not say that. I was told by four doctors already that my cancer is unique to me, UNIQUE because no two cancers are alike. Like a thumbprint we are all genetically made different in every aspect, so is this illness, and so should treatment be treated that way. 

Pss. 55:1 “Give ear to my prayer, O God; and hide not thyself from my supplication.”

Let me ask you this, if my illness is so unique to me, why not treat me in a unique manner? Why offer me the exact same conventional treatment every other patient is offered? Why? Because that’s not how it works in the world of oncology. I do understand the concerns of the doctors. If they lose me, they feel as though they didn’t do their job. It is MY body, not theirs to decide what to do, and even more importantly, I’m LISTENING to God a HEALER, not a doctor, the pacifier.

I think once again I’ll go against the grain, not swim upstream with the fishies and walk on water with the Sweet Lord Jesus! The one thing all of the successful testimonies of holistic healing have in common is The Power of Prayer! Have faith people GOD IS ALIVE!

Pss. 5:3 “My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.”

Power in Prayer

Mark 1: 28-29  “And when he was come into the house, his disciples asked him privately, Why could not we cast him out? And he said unto them, This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting.”

Power in Prayer

When this New Year began I was not expecting to be on a journey of my lifetime. I thought I’d sail through the year until another one began. People wonder why I have such a firm belief? Because I KNOW my ways are not His ways, just as my plans are not His plans.

Isa. 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

We always THINK we are in total control but as you can see, nothing is ever in our control, like melting wax it is ALWAYS dripped into His hands and carried.

Did you ever wonder why the Asians (or people in other countries) are healthier than Americans? They knew something we didn’t and still don’t. They knew of prayer and meditation long before we ever did. When we hear of these herbal remedies and holistic healing, the Chinese are usually the first thing that comes to mind. We here in the Western World are not allowed to believe in that hokey stuff, we’re to believe what we’re brainwashed to believe. As evidenced, as a statement of FACT, we Americans are fed toxins! And we buy what they sell us, believe it won’t hurt us, yet we have one of the highest cancer rates in the world.

God placed these herbal remedies, natural cures here for us and as much as we say we read the bible we look over the parts of what they ate, what spices they used and what herbs were used as natural remedies for the ill. Mistletoe is just now being studied at the Bethesda Cancer hospital in Maryland, it's been studied in Germany for YEARS, frankincense is another element under study as a cancer cure, CURE people, not a pacifying drug that will mimic additional years added to your life!

Another cure surrounded by stigma sits in the facts in way of cannabis oil. The state of Nebraska has shot down the bill that would legalize the oil medicinally meaning guess what, cancer patients have to DIE or obtain the stuff illegally or move to a state where it is legal. Their reasoning? Legalizing medicinal Cannabis oil would encourage kids to smoke pot! How stupid is that? THAT’S what our country faces, people and politicians who don’t WANT what is best for the ill but what looks good and acceptable to the easily manipulated older folks. They accept whatever the government feeds them. I cannot comprehend why we are so far behind in finding cures. They say we need more money but what is the money for, to pay the researchers? A billion dollar industry doesn’t become that way unless funds are being misspent.

Why would medicinal oil encourage kids to smoke marijuana? They’re going to smoke weed anyway and they could care less about the medicinal oil hiding within the hemp plant. This from a government who has a nation addicted to pharmaceuticals. Does any of this make sense? It sure doesn’t to me. I’m a victim and the government is the abuser. They say it is my body and my choice but it certainly doesn’t feel like it as they try to force me into submission.

So what’s left? Prayer, that is the one mighty power that the government can’t control, charge money for or withhold from the people. Prayer is the one healer that doctors have zero belief in or control over. Prayer is my most powerful tool in beating this crud that’s decided to take up residence in me. My mind, my body, my soul CRAVES healing and in the Power of Prayer I WILL RECEIVE healing. 

When I got my PET scan the other day it was prayer and meditation that got me through the ninety-minute ordeal. After the young lady checks your blood sugar, mine was eighty, she injects you with radioactive dye. She then shuts the light off and leaves you alone for forty-five minutes as it goes through your system. They need minimal brain activity so you’re left in solitude.

Those forty-five minutes went pretty quickly as I wrapped myself in prayer and meditation. When the girl returned to the room, it had only seemed like twenty minutes. Just twenty more minutes left under the lights of the scan. Being claustrophobic, meditation is what I used to see me through the tube.

Now onto twenty minutes in the tube. The machine wasn’t the BIG O CT scan looking machine; the O was a much smaller and a tighter fit. The onc. doctor had given me a pill to take to calm me down before my scan but I, not liking to take drugs, didn’t take it and trusted God to be with me and get me through this. The machine hummed into life as I was being fed into its mouth. Eyes closed, as the humming and flashing of lights whirled around me, meditation began.

When I heard the words, “We’re done” it was music to my ears. I mistakenly opened my eyes as I was being backed out of the tube and I thanked the Lord for holding my hand during the entire ordeal. I was free to go on with my day, radioactive for eight hours, whatever that means. Was I now in the position to turn into the Incredible Hulk?  

I stopped by the Herbal Supplement store and there stood an elderly lady at the register, known by her fist name by the cashier. The small store was bustling with business. I guess this is only the first or second store in this area of this kind. Living in a state that is broken into counties by 70 miles or so, these kinds of stores are rare. Nebraska is way behind in the times. Actually, I feel like I’ve gone back in time where the only thing available is what is offered unless you feel like traveling. I’d be very comfortable in a horse and buggy on these dirt roads. 

This illness is not a death sentence as so many are misled to believe. I do have a choice and I choose to live. I will walk hand in hand with my Father as we sail through the storms of life. He has calmed the storms for me and in prayer, we communicate on an hourly basis. I’m reminded how the Healer HEALS. Those are not just words thrown into a book for show, the healing words are the TRUTH that we all live and believe, right? I know I do, there is POWER in PRAYER! Alleluia AMEN!

Pss. 34:18-20 “The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all. He keepeth all his bones: not one of them is broken.”

The Doctor Did His Job

Psalm 73:25-26 KJV “Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.”

The Doctor Did His Job

He set out to break the barrier of positivism and hope down, and he somewhat succeeded. Let me just say that if he thought for one minute anything I was taking was toxic to my system he wouldn’t have hesitated in pointing out that hey, they’re toxic. In my research on cancer cures, turmeric, Vitamin C, garlic, ginger, ginseng and a host of other things are NOT toxic. Even mixed together in a cocktail all at one time these supplements WOULD NOT be toxic. Although I’ve found sufficient evidence to PROVE chemotherapy IS toxic.

The doctor did his job of instilling DOUBT and FEAR with words like, death, dying, my ability to see my grandchildren one day, and I’m sure many who have gone the chemo route are more than happy to have the chance to see their grandchildren. He also used the fear tactic, that if I was his underage child, he would get a COURT ORDER to MAKE me get the chemo, “But, you’re not underage so you have to decide,” he said in his strong Bulgarian accent.

God keeps telling me, “I can give you LIFE”, “I can fill you to the brim with Hope”, “I HAVE THE POWER TO HEAL if only you have the FAITH of a mustard seed.” His words are most definitely more comforting than what the doctor offered. Now I ask you, who am I to listen to? 

I remember talking to my GP last week and telling her that if I don’t BELIEVE that chemo is going to help me and my mind won’t ALLOW it to help, can it really help me? Isn’t the mind, body, and soul an empowering tool of ours? She looked at me and said, “There is some truth to that!” She went on to tell me that all I AM doing to change, my diet, my supplements, my exercise would only add to the beneficial treatment of chemo. Funny thing is, the onc. doctor said “Meh, you won’t need them with chemo. Chemo will save you alone.” As if chemotherapy was the Superman of cancer and not the kryptonite to Superman. You see how one can be broken down by a doctor who thinks like that? He’s right, I’m wrong, God’s wrong, and any and all supplements are wrong. Even though these supplements have been PROVEN but are still in the ‘clinical’ stages that I’m not eligible for. 

I’m watching another series on cancer The Truth About Cancer series. Did you know that in Switzerland, over twenty years ago a cure was found? You didn’t know that did you? A micronutrient synergy in the form of vitamin c, quercetin and green tea (that’s not the entire protocol) was saving lives but when brought to the medical board they were laughed at and scoffed at because the pharmaceutical companies had no stake in this flighty ‘micronutrient saving grace’. These were doctors of the Dr. Rath Institute in California, who brought this exciting fact-based plan to light and they were shot down. 

Doctor Matthias Rath 
and 
Dr. Alexandra Niedzwiecki 

These two are no fly by night doctors in the Cancer Research arena. These are the very faces that HAVE the cure! Why does the government not want this knowledge in the hands of patients? Why does the government stand by the chemotherapy route? Have you ever considered that we’re no different than the Jews so many years ago being led into gas chambers, all a part of a mass exodus to be rid of us? Why is God's Herbal Medicinal Healing, HEALING shunned when pharmaceuticals are PUSHED even on our small children with the likes of that new illness ADHD? Kids, OUR KIDS are being drugged too, not HEALED!

Are you getting the picture here? Well, I sure am and even if the PET scan comes back and says its spreading to my brain, I’m going to fight tooth and nail to not go the chemo route. It has only been a month of this protocol I’m on and I’d like more time! The docs can try to break me but my God is the only one who can destroy me completely! Since I have lived with this tumor growing in my body for possibly well over five-ten years, then what is the hurry in getting hit by kryptonite? I mean chemo.?

What scares me so? The Port. It's this small wire and a plastic button placed under your skin that would feed chemotherapy (radioactive therapy) directly to your bloodstream. The port stays in you for years until you are cancer free and then you have a choice to have it removed or not. Let me tell you a quick story. My aunt had cancer, was in remission, had the port removed, cancer came back more aggressively and she died. My uncle, had lung cancer, was in remission, had the port removed, cancer came back, port returned with chemo, and he died. A long slow, painful, deteriorating death. My aunt was 130 lbs when she died, (previously a 250 lb or more woman), my uncle a burly 180 lbs. died underweight also. My dad had throat cancer, he was in remission five years and he chose NOT to remove the port. He eventually died of COPD after being in the hospital for a month. 

So you see, losing THREE family members in the same year also has me wanting to fight AGAINST chemo treatment. They didn’t fight, they basically followed the leader and lost the battle! I will NOT follow the leader! I will follow Christ and what He wants me to do!

So maybe the doctor didn’t win in the end. He placed doubt and fear deeply in our visit and I’ve carried it, now I need to be rid of it, NOW! Prayers are always my saving grace. Praise be to God.

Well, I just found out that the PET scan is going to cost us over $1,000 dollars that we don’t have. GREAT! Whatever is in that fund up there will be used to pay for it. I’ve got enough supplements for I believe 30-60 days. Whoa…just… falls silent …..

Where I Go From Here...

Isa. 41:10 “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”

:13 “For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.”

Where I go from here…

If you’re not an expert in the field, then please refrain from judging ME and MY way of healing MY body! Your comments HURT more than help and I am in a very FRAGILE state as I face this cell-biting funk in my body! I’m not here to judge the toxins you put in YOUR body daily, I’m here to judge MY daily intake of toxins.

Expert opinions

“All the so-called natural deaths are nothing but the terminal point of high body acidity,” -- George W. Crile of Cleveland, one of the most renowned surgeons in the world.

“The innumerable names of the diseases are not important, but the fact that they all stem from the basic causes is -- too much acidity in the body.” -- Dr. Theodore A. Baroody, book “Alkalise or die” 

“Increased acidification of the body is the cause of degenerative diseases. If there is an imbalance and the body begins to store toxins and acidity to a greater extent, your body will start to experience diseases “- Dr. Robert O. Young.

Saturday, I unintentionally got knocked down a rung or two by a comment and with my impending new oncologist visit on Monday, it almost knocked me back to square one. A social media fast is in order and if you haven’t bookmarked my blog, then you’ll have no idea I’m continuing to write.

One comment, that’s all it took to get my heart racing and my hands shaking allowing doubt and fear to slither in; albeit unintentional, it kicked me in my fragile butt! Sunday I was a mess, even after a sermon and praise. I don’t like to delete people but at this juncture, I am more focused on MY healing than YOUR feelings. 

Monday morning came and a visit with a new oncologist was in order for the day. My anxiety felt high, but I winged it with a great blood pressure reading and not a tear fell down my cheek!
My GP led me to this doctor last week. This was not HER pick, it was MY pick out of the IBS (IckyBoobSyndrome) doctors available. I looked at the faces, I looked at the eyes and this was whom I chose. Little did I know that he is probably one of the TOP oncologists in the STATE of Nebraska, affiliated with a pretty highly ranked Big C Center. It was worth the forty-five-minute drive to me, to US. 

Someone warned me that this man was pretty adamant about not allowing patients to walk out the door without committing them to Chemotherapy. I was warned so I was ready with what little armor I had (I was weak going in, thanks to the unintentional hurtful comment over the weekend) and the doc was extremely almost forceful (hugging me seven times to sway me?) in making his call of having me commit. He wanted to call my son at home, he demanded I commit now before leaving, or he’d lose me (played the guilt card). Almost two hours of pressure but I walked out, informed, enlightened and aware. This was MUCH better than the first oncologist. And no bruising to show for it today!

What I DID commit to was a PET scan, only for the very reason being, to know if this crud is spreading through my body. I NEED to know as I continue on with my fight. If it is spreading, I may HAVE to do chemo. So I can live. As he put it, without chemo he gives me a year of cancer eating my brains and bones (with my former unhealthy lifestyle, mind you) to live, WITH chemo he was pretty confident an additional fifteen years. He put up a good argument but like I said, I still had my faith and strength in tact! “What’s stopping you?” Doc asked. My hubby, who was in the room with me, spoke up and said, “We need to pray about this! She’s told you her reasons why. Now we need time.” The man was not giving up! 

This is how firm he was. He ordered the PET scan from his office to my local hospital and of all the nerve, he wanted me to visit his office forty-five minutes away after my PET scan to sign up for the chemo!!!! He almost demanded and I said NO! If any of you have had a PET scan you know the twenty-four hour protocol? No eating, no drinking etc.? He needs results before I make ANY sort of commitment because it will change the plan a little that he had set out for me. “Friday, how about Friday?” he demanded. “NO!” I shot back! Pressure! My chest felt a tight pressure closing in on me!

His navigator lady was extremely helpful and very explanatory and also said, “In the end, it is YOUR body! YOUR decision!” I have to remember that I need to stop being a people pleaser for this duration. I only agreed to this visit to appease my GP. I wanted to go back home before entering the office and hubby started the truck and said, “Let’s go!” I told him I NEEDED to hear what this man had to say for my own sanity, good or bad, I NEED to hear it and that I did. 

I left the office with no other commitment but a PET scan on Thursday. He wanted me to schedule a visit for next week but I had to decline so I can see what my husband’s schedule is going to be like. Pressure! Pressing down on me. I do hold in my hand a copy of the results of my tests on January 25, a booklet on the guide to reading those tests and what they mean, and a book ‘Straight Talk about BC’. 

It sure doesn’t feel like MY life and MY decision but I guess this is normal. 
I’d like to add that with each doctor (4) now, they have seen my arsenal of supplements and my new eating habits. I get the feeling they know I’ve done my research and each supplement is targeted at my cells!

I pray that God gives me the strength to hear and follow what He wants me to do and I pray I’m hearing rightly and not blinded by what I want. I need continued prayer from the warriors who’ve been praying. Please don’t let up. Put my name in Prayer requests in all of your churches. PRAY FOR ME! 

Isa. 11:2 “And the spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD;”

I Follow HIM

Pss. 9:1 “I will praise thee, O LORD, with my whole heart; I will shew forth all thy marvellous works.”

I Follow Him

First and foremost, I follow the Lord and I always listen even if it’s something I don’t want to do. I sometimes feel like I come off as a flighty dumb blond walking into a flaming fire because I stand with Christ and Christ alone. 

I remember the story of Peter when Jesus asked him to walk on water, did you know he did step out onto the water, at first, but doubt and fear won out and he sunk? Jesus asked Him, “Are ye of little faith?” Some people say they have faith but if Jesus Himself came and said walk on the water with me, I can bet MANY would sink!

Matt 14: 25-31 NIV- “Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

I’d like to think my faith is so strong that I WOULD walk on water for Him. He’s asked me to trust Him with my cancer and all of the HEALING treatment that He Himself has chosen for me. I say, God, lead me on still waters. Wouldn’t you know it, the waters stirred, I DID NOT FEAR! I AM NOT and WILL NOT DOUBT Him. When people pile up against me, I stand my ground firmly with the Lord. Laugh, scoff, Jesus knows exactly what it was like to be condemned by the very people who claimed to follow Him. 

I have suffered and struggled all of my life. God entered into my pain and washed away the scars and allowed me to walk to Him, with Him and for Him! Anything I struggled with he carried for me and gave me the strength of an army, one small woman, felt like an army of angels had encompassed her on a daily basis just to get through a day, a month, a year.

God is not glorified in your pain and suffering, He is glorified in your healing and yes He’s used my pain, my suffering, my scar tissue to be seen as His Light shining through. If I show doubt in His ability to carry this disease, I will sink in the very water I KNOW I can tread.

Toxins. I was raised in a toxic family, shaped by toxic chemicals whether it was LSD, PCP or any other drug of choice at the time; also the environmental toxins that I breathed in daily. I suffered alcoholism, drug addiction, sexual abuse. I lied, cheated, stolen and all of my pain and shame is laid bare for the world to see. I have NOTHING to hide behind because it is for YOU to see how Glorious our God is in His grace and forgiveness! I did not have the advantage of growing up in a rose-colored-glasses kind of world.

We live in a toxic world. Man turns to a doctor because he trusts him and has faith in Him and when someone stands against that very person they put their faith in for drugs, and medication, they don’t see the drugs and medication as toxins, they see my walk without the pacifier I call the medical toxic community as my guide, a toxic decision. So are vitamins, herbs and minerals toxic to my body? I’ll take my chances on that one. 

I think some people think I’m making this decision of no chemo. on my own in my naïve stupid young girl fashion. Seriously? If that is what you think of me, then you are not my friend. If you read my blog to pick out grammatical errors, you are missing an entire portion of me, back away from me, please! I follow HIM and Him alone in my quest for healing.

I watched as my grandmother had a stroke, then came out of the hospital and changed nothing and lived on meds the rest of her days. I watched as my aunts and uncles battled cancer, changed not one bit of their unhealthy lifestyle, I watched as my dad after heart surgery and a good three months of recovery returned to his old ways and eventually died. I've lived as two of my children have died!

You see, I’m coming into this diagnosis with my eyes wide open! I’ve seen, I've watched, I’ve lived, and most of all I LEARNED! I come into this cell attacker with three things none of my family members EVER had. 1) Knowledge 2) Wisdom 3) An undying unwavering FAITH!

The very first thing I did with this diagnosis? DRASTICALLY changed my unhealthy eating habits! I cut out sugar and carbs, meat and dairy, which left me with nothing but fruits and vegetables. I researched, researched and researched chemo, vitamins, herbs, cures, toxins, success stories. I’ve already been a witness to too many unsuccessful stories of illnesses from heart disease, diabetes, arthritis and a host of other illnesses. The one thing they ALL had in common was medications and an unhealthy lifestyle. 

Many people are unwilling to make a drastic change in unhealthy living. They’d much rather depend on a doctor to pacify them with drugs and a false sense that they are gods and are going to make them well. Did you ever notice, doctors are not in the business to make you well? Once you’re on medication you will NEED them for the rest of your days. You will never be healed because you then become an addict, addicted to meds. 

Did you know that God placed natural herbs here for us? Did you know God built our bodies to heal and regenerate? After we’ve totally destroyed our immune system, we need to try HARDER to restore what was lost and not trust doctors to destroy MORE for us. I’m trusting God on this one. Right or wrong, my God is the carrier of ANY burden, sickness, or pain I bring to Him. He is the Almighty Healer, Doctor and cure-all! If it bothers you that I think this way, please, feel free to reexamine your absolute faith and trust in Jesus Christ. The world desperately needs to see Jesus alive and Christians are the only ones to bring him to the world for all to see. He didn’t come to be glorified in our illness, He came to be glorified in our HEALING! THAT, my friends, is the ROCK *I* stand on!

All praise and glory be to GOD! Alleluia AMEN! Godspeed…

James 1:26 “If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.”

This is me and how I feel and LIVE!


The more I seek you
The more I find you
The more I find you
The more I love you

I want to sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand
Lay back against you and breathe, feel your heart beat
This love is so deep, its more than I can stand
I melt in your peace, its overwhelming

*it's a link to the song

My Body Is A Temple

Pss. 34:4 “I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.”

My Body is a Temple

I’ve heard, read and believed this statement but not until I was diagnosed with cancer did I fully understand what this meant. I knew it meant that I should treat my body, mind, and soul as a temple but did I believe that I would reap what I sowed. I don’t think so, I don’t think any of us do really.

I sowed and sowed,  at one time I smoked, did drugs, ate anything I wanted and never felt one time that I was going against all I knew and learned from the bible. The words in the bible were written for us today as much as for the people two thousand years ago. 

I see with many of the different religions of the world that elements of the Holy Bible are strewn in there to look like their very own religion. They are not called Christian but many have the same principles and most all have in some form of another how the body is the holiest of temples. How do we not see it?

Prov. 23:7 “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.” I think, therefore I am. Ring a bell?

I think it’s a part of conforming, doing what everyone else is doing, eating what they’re eating, drinking what they drink. If you have heart disease, diabetes, arthritis, cancer or any numerous other diseases, you are reaping what you’ve sown throughout your life. Your body is failing because it was not treated as the temple that it was formed to be.

Did you ever wonder why in the Old Testament, we read the precise food we’re to eat? Did you ever notice how altars were built to perfection? Noah’s Ark was built to perfection? Do you remember what happened when temples were defiled? They were destroyed. That is exactly what happens to our bodies when they become defiled by the ways of the world.

All the lessons are there for us to learn but yet we defile them daily. I am not exempt, obviously. I have cancer and my body is reaping what I’ve sown. I have eaten bad, I have treated my body as if it was mine when in reality it is God’s and has been all along. I got this wake-up call and repented immediately. I screamed out “forgive me, Father for what I have done.”

Every time we make unhealthy choices we are defiling the temple that God trusted us with and usually it takes something as a serious illness or disease to wake you up with a God-slap moment. We need to repent. We need to change.

Do you know what country that has the lowest breast cancer? Japan. And the highest rate of cancer? 
Highest: 
Lowest: 

It’s a fact, the Western Culture has some of the highest cancer rates and diseases because we’re gluttons. We’re not like the third world countries where we have minimum foods to eat like herbs, leafy vegetables, and fresh fruit. Think about it, we eat like kings compared to the Africans. We’re gluttons. We treat our bodies as if we can do what we want with no ramifications and if you’re dealing with ANY type of illness all you have to do is look at your daily eating habits. Your diet is your gluttony.

In the past four weeks the only meat that has gone into my body has been two pieces of freshwater salmon, the only vegetables were/are organic in nature meaning no toxins, and the only dairy was/is farm fresh vegetarian fed chickens eggs. I have all of the organic fruits I can eat and I'm feeling great! You could not tell I have any illness residing in me. Headaches, coughs, sinus problems can all be attributed to the foods you eat and the toxins you breathe in.  

I know what you’re thinking, ‘that’s not food you're eating!’ Well let me tell you, this is the best I’ve ever felt in my life! MY ENTIRE LIFE! Did you ever wonder why God chose manna to feed the Israelites? Why Jesus fed thousands with loaves of bread? Why didn’t He have hundreds of animals drawn to the people for them to slaughter and eat? Why didn’t He lead the people to bacon and fried chicken? Because He KNEW their bodies were His temples and treated them as such!

We don’t treat our bodies as His temples. We treat our bodies as they were conditioned to be treated; by man, for man, we eat for ourselves and no one else. I am not condemning you or judging you, I’m just relaying what I’ve learned in the past four weeks and I NEED to share this. It’s not mine to own!

I feel as though I have been placed on an eternal fast. My body is being cleansed and changing, it is reacting to the way I’m treating it, in a good way. My mind is releasing all the bad and I’m basking in all the good that is left behind. I’m no longer treating my body disastrously and reaping what I’ve sown there, I’m rejoicing in treating my body as the Temple I know that it is and can only be perfected for Christ and by Christ.

Only by His stripes am I HEALED! I am healthy! I am well!!! This is my new daily mantra thanks to Chis Wark of Chris Beat Cancer. I’m listening to his 10 [module] steps to beating cancer while they’re free and his module seven of the series was the solidifying game changer for me. It was all about having faith in doing what you’re doing, BEATING CANCER without drugs and chemo, the real new-age killer! 

Change the ye to chemo and you get how I feel about chemotherapy:

Ezek. 34:4 “The diseased have ye[chemo] not strengthened, neither have ye[chemo] healed that which was sick, neither have ye[chemo] bound up that which was broken, neither have ye[chemo] brought again that which was driven away, neither have ye[chemo] sought that which was lost; but with force and with cruelty have ye[chemo] ruled them.”

If I have all the faith I claim to have then I KNOW I can beat this. If Jesus healed many, He can heal me. He didn’t say, “I’ll heal you one day.” He clearly stated that he’d heal me NOW! And I believe that with every fiber of my being. The very LEAST I can do is treat my body as the perfectly constructed temple He entrusted me with. With every bite, with every breath, I honor and respect HIM! 

Praise be to God!

Rom. 8:28-31 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.

What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?”

My Doctor Visit

Pss. 6:2 “Have mercy upon me, O LORD; for I am weak: O LORD, heal me; for my bones are vexed.”

My Doctor Visit

Yesterday, many of you know I visited with my General Practitioner (GP from here on out). It was all that I expected from a doctor who actually cares about her patient and she didn’t let me down. 

I didn’t wait long in the nearly empty office that is usually bustling and as my name was called my heart raced a bit. Of course, my mind thinks good things but there is always that one little part that we all have that wonders what this visit will bring. 

I stepped on the dreaded scale in anticipation of what my forced diet would bring and to my surprise; I lost seven pounds in three - four weeks. That’s normal since I’ve had no carbs, no sugar, no meat and no dairy and a gallon of purified water a day. I’m an herbivore these days and it is paying off with energy, life, stamina, and peace.

The doctor came in and we talked. We talked about not doing chemo, and doing chemo, we talked about my illness and what I’m currently doing with my diet and exercise. She and the assistant were impressed that in four weeks (since I saw her last) I had changed so much!

She’d really like me to do chemo. It wasn’t the pressure I felt from the oncologist this was a subtle conversation between doctor/patient with eye to eye contact and compassion. I understood everything she said. I told her about the bad experience with the onc. and that we just didn’t click and I in no way said I ‘wasn’t committing’, I said I needed time!

She did say right off that my Breast Cancer doctor (remember, they’re colleagues/friends) had told her to keep an eye on me. That was the honesty I seek in a doctor, not an evasive reply. She offered that, I didn’t ask. I knew, but I still didn’t ask. That was her fifth or tenth brownie point in my eyes. 

She asked if I’d like to see another oncologist and I said YES, I’m not NOT committing, I need time to gather all the information I can. Her honesty showed again when she said, “I’m not a specialist in the field of oncology and that is who you really need to see to explain it more.” Monday the 27th, I’ll visit the new oncologist. He may also recommend a PET scan and I’m thinking, radiation and all, it might be for the best to know if the disease is spreading. I welcome your positive thoughts! Positive only!

We talked like old friends yet this was only my second time seeing her. She went on to tell me that this is a very successfully treated type of BC and that they have made great strides in treatment. Still only chemo treatments, but this time I was actually listening because she was actually taking the time to come down to my level, not putting on airs and putting herself above me.

She told me that all I’m doing with the vitamins and diet would only enhance the success of the chemo treatment and not hurt, I’d have to ask the new onc., but she was pretty sure. She said my mind, and my positive outlook can only be a good thing. Too many people go into this with, like I said before, that cancer is a ‘death sentence’.

She was also honest about the holistic healing. I asked why doctors don’t know about these things that can save lives and she made sense in her reply where the oncologist just brushed me off. This doctor said because most holistic remedies haven’t been studied long enough yet or are still in the testing stages and as a doctor, she can only offer what is within her realm of treatment. Chemotherapy is tried and true. I got it, it made sense to me, I understood where the medical community was coming from. 

What we talked about didn’t change my mind on getting chemo but it did give me something to think about. Yes, we even talked about the bad side effects of chemo, and she sided with there is more good than bad and I’m sticking with there is more bad than good, for now. 

Ezek. 34:4 “The diseased have ye not strengthened, neither have ye healed that which was sick, neither have ye bound up that which was broken, neither have ye brought again that which was driven away, neither have ye sought that which was lost; but with force and with cruelty have ye ruled them.” (sounds like chemo - TO ME)

I live in a state where the next oncologist available is forty miles away. Remember, when my hubby needed a cornea transplant the only place in the STATE is three and a half hours away. I grew up in a tiny little state, where there were MANY top-notch hospitals available within miles of each other, University of Maryland and Johns Hopkins just to name two. And out here they have nothing but cows and farmland in such a BIG state; nothing innovative to write home about here. 

Nebraskans seem offended when I say stuff like that but I’m not saying it to offend anyone, I’m just AMAZED, in the twenty-first century, that the nearest airport is (besides those tiny plane ones) is over an hour away and oncologists are separated by forty miles or more!

THIS is the reason I’m doing more research. THIS is the reason I NEED to do more research. I can’t just up and move to a new state so I HAVE to take what is offered me here but *I* feel more in control when I can make the decision on my own and not be forced into something I don’t believe. I feel like they are trying to brainwash me and have me join their cult of beliefs, but now, I have more understanding of where they are coming from with this GP visit.

I’m continuing on my journey, I’m trying to remain positive and also trying to rid ANYTHING I deem as negative out of my life. I’ve done this spiritual cleansing many times over my life but now I need to put to use all I’ve learned. On we go, my friends! I’m so glad I have you along for the ride, this is one mountain climbing excursion that I’m glad to not be on alone. I can’t thank you all enough but remember where I FEEL the love, my prayers bounce back to YOU! Win/win guys…now journey on! 

Gen. 24:21 “And the man wondering at her held his peace, to wit whether the LORD had made his journey prosperous or not.”

Beating Cancer: One Day at a Time

Jer. 17:14 “Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise.”

You Are What You Eat

I think I’m officially a fruitivore, a term I stole from Dr. Morse. I’ve never looked at so many cancer-fighting videos/pages in my life, and more than likely, neither have you. Why, because cancer equals death in many a mind. We’ve been conditioned to believe that cancer is a death sentence, not a second chance to change your lifestyle and eating habits.

Many people hear the word cancer from their doctor and right beside those terms are chemotherapy and radiation treatments. They NEVER suggest a second option or even a possibility of a second option. They themselves have been conditioned, trained, to tell you that chemo is the only way to go and rarely will you find an oncologist that will render ‘other’ options.

You hear those words cancer/chemo and you allow fear to help you make the decision only because you yourself have believed all along that cancer equals death. Did you know that cancer is a billion dollar industry? That’s right folks, along with the pharmaceutical corporations, your cancer is right up there with the biggest money making ‘industry’.  

Doctor’s are not trained to tell you of other option and the only reason is because that is money lost, out the door, not in their pocket! They prescribe meds like a corner candy store and we the people assume they are right because well, that’s what we believe. After being told over a lifetime that doctors know what’s best for us, we begin to believe it and think ourselves less knowledgeable because we don’t hold a diploma from the medical field.

Never before in time has there been so much access to knowledge. Doc’s will say, you can’t believe EVERYTHING you read on the internet, this is true, but as a writer, I don’t take the first lie/truth as concrete, I dig and dig and find multiple places where these facts are. It’s called research! 

Some people are so quick to believe something they just read, they post it on social media without doing a little digging to see if it is the truth! Last year's election proved that lies are not concrete truth! And you know what else, you look like a sucker when you believed all the lies all along. 

That is exactly what is happening with the cancer industry. By the way, how does the term ‘cancer industry’ sound to you? To ME it sounds like I’m being taken for a ride because I have a disease that doctor’s use to make their money. Imagine if everybody sought out alternative treatment, these doctors would monetarily be in a heap of trouble. I imagine their caviar consumption would go down quickly.

Now let me tell you, had my oncologist told me if I don’t get chemo I’d die in six months, I might have jumped at the chemo just because I don’t want to die. It would have been a nice fear tactic and one I might have bought. Forget about all the people leaving this earth at the hands of chemo. But no, the oncologist didn’t tell me that and kind of brushed me off when I mentioned holistic healing as if my body, my disease was not a choice that I’m ALLOWED to decide on how to handle treatment. My instincts told me I was being swindled and I usually listen to my GUT INSTINCTS! 

What am I doing to heal myself? MASSIVELY changing my diet for one.
Every body is different and what works for some, may not work for others. With that in mind my research has led me all over the place in three weeks and what is working for me, is the massive change and added supplements to my diet. I could use more supplements but as I said the other day, no money, no more supplements than what I already have. And this is a two- year program to be completely rid of cancer.

Yesterday I listed all of the supplements I’m taking (yesterday I added a garlic tablet) although I eat gobs of garlic, I still felt I needed more. I’ve modified the diet I’m on to suit ME and the funds I have to spare on it, otherwise, this is all for naught and I might as well go the chemo route and die. 

You see, to ME, chemo is a death sentence, not cancer. Someone said to me something like, “If all that you need is hoity-toity supplements and change your diet, wouldn’t you hear about it more and of the survivors?” You know what I have to say to that? Did you have any idea Trump was going to become President of the United States? No? WHY? Because we are only told what the media and press WANT you to hear! Repeat after me, A BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY!

There are thousands of people out here surviving cancer WITHOUT chemo! Chris Beat Cancer was in stage four! He’s alive twelve years after skipping chemo. There are testimonies all over the internet that support the non-chemo route but you WILL NOT hear about them because the billion dollars they’re making on cancer would collapse and go bankrupt! They can’t allow that now can they? 

I’m going to do a You Are What You Eat series and take you on the journey of what I eat daily. This is just the beginning and this diet is a ninety-day process to see massive change! Three months to know if the cancer is going out the door or whether it is growing and spreading. I think six months of continued therapy MY way will tell me more. It is MY life, MY body and I control what is going to happen. Along with God, my greatest champion, I will either fail or succeed.  If my doctor says something on Tuesday that will change my course of action, then I’ll let you know. Continued prayers as I journey through this.

Jer. 30:17 “For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the LORD; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.”

Where Do The Funds Go?

Ecc.3:3 “A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;”

Where Do The Funds Go

I’m sure you’re wondering, why donate? Well, let me tell you. Any money you send me is going directly to food that I can’t afford on an income of Social Security. I myself cannot get SS disability because the only jobs I’ve ever had were taking care of the elderly, cleaning houses for meager pennies, so I have zero put into SS so I can receive nothing! Hubby is disabled and yes, he's worked all of his life to be able to receive the meager S.S. payment and few hours a week allowed by our lovely government. So where does that leave penniless cancer patients? In the cold, that's where!

Here’s the thing, when I was younger I gave my life over to God. I didn’t go halfway in I went all in. I always walked differently than any fellow walkers of God that I knew. When He says own nothing, I basically took that literal and to this day I own NOTHING. I always said that God will provide and sustain me and at times it has been hard driving that into people but God has NEVER let me down. God has and will continue to provide for me even now, whether you donate or not. 

Just like now, I have no money to beat cancer. I don’t have a savings account, fancy cars, I don’t own a home, we rent this little house out here on a rundown Turkey Ranch. Am I ashamed or embarrassed? Not at all, this was provided by God so why would I be ashamed? I wrote about it a few years ago. 

I totally get that people work hard all of their life for nice fancy stuff, big fancy house, top of the line vehicles, all the best of clothing, but that is who you are not who I am. I own nothing but own everything, to me. I have a roof over my head, I have all I need and have never lived to own all the things that I might someday WANT. I’m content on living, NOW!

So why beg for money if God can provide everything for me? Sometimes God uses people and their illness to bring out the true colors in people. We’re living in times where we don’t have time to hoard all of our riches and stow away our valuables, they ARE NOT GOING WITH YOU. Point blank, your materials will be dust in the earth.

When you see a homeless man on the corner and you drop him a dollar, that is a million bucks to him! To you, it is chump change but to him it is sustenance. That’s why I’m out here begging for money, so I can add a couple more years to my life to do God’s work. 

I need to be on this no carb, no sugar, no dairy diet for at least two years for it to beat the cancerous cells lurking inside of me. Add to that my dietary supplements and it’s going to be a costly journey. One that I’m taking you on with me and hopefully changing some peoples lives along the way. I’m a pioneer of sorts, showing you the way to adding years to your life. I’m going to take what I’m learning and pass it on to you and it will be a much cheaper solution than all that is offered out there because let's face it, you don’t have the money either.

A fruit and vegetable diet is costly especially if you go organic to keep all of the chemicals out of your system that feeds the cancer cells. When you help me, you’re helping every single person who is changed by what I’m writing. Just like when you hand a homeless person money, that money goes to a proprietor, who pays his employees, who has that job to feed THEIR families. So when you help one, you’re really helping many. Think about that.

Just like me, the vitamins I’m buying are not from the mega stores such as WalMart, or GNC, they’re from a health and nutrition supplement store that just opened and are trying to get their leg up on the market. I realize Nebraska is not the health state of the nation. They’re all about GMO’s, pesticides, processed food and unhealthy eating. Maybe that’s why this is the only supplement store around for forty miles. (a GNC store opened recently and is quite close but I haven’t checked them out yet.) 

Don’t get me wrong, I love Nebraska and the moral compass that I don’t see in other states I've been to, but the moral compass isn’t going to free me of cancer, only healthy eating will do that and healthy eating cost money, money I don’t have. Where do the funds go? To food and supplements! You’re allowing me to live. 

I bought a head of cauliflower, a bag of baby carrots, and a handful of brussel sprouts. I made up SEVEN baggies, and that fed me for SEVEN days! As this journey progresses I’m going to give you my recipes I've found, modified because of money, but still good to eat and filling. All this to add years to my life and possibly yours. You can modify my recipe to suit your taste if you want. 

Right now I’m on: turmeric, selenium, Cureamed (that’s a curcumin supplement), Vit. C (1000 mg powder) Iodine, and my B12 stress tablets. It’s a lot to take and in two months I’ll run out UNLESS I get more help and I’m positive God will provide! I’ll only give out my mailing address if asked. My email address is jonismuse@yahoo.com. I’m here and I am alive with God!

I’m going to put together a book called Beating Cancer on a Budget and in two years when I’ve beat this, I will seek a publisher for it! I have goals, I have a plan but most of all I have a wonderfully AWESOME and most AMAZING God who thought enough of me to tap me on the shoulder and say, “Wake up girl!” And now I’m awake and LIVING! God Bless you all! Thank you for your support. 

Pss. 30:2 “O LORD my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me.”  

I'm Alive!

Prov. 16:24 “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.”

I’m Alive!

Every morning I wake I want to shout out the door, I’m Alive! I don’t do it for obvious reasons so I just take a moment before placing my feet on the floor and say, thank you Lord, for granting me another day.

It has been three weeks since my diagnosis and while the medical community thought my illness was theirs to control, I asserted my body and took control of something I lost on the day of diagnosis. Since I’m a victim of sexual abuse as a child I’m going to be quite blunt here, I felt as if I had been raped on the day of diagnosis as they whisked me from one test to the other amid tears.

I wasn’t prepared, to say the least, can one ever be? But I seriously thought I was just going in to have my breast exam. I had no idea I was going to need a mammogram, CT scan AND a biopsy all in a succession of tests. I felt violated, I lost control of my body and it felt demeaning. I stayed strong because I had to, I would not succumb again the preying vultures. 

The last I saw or heard from the Breast Cancer doctor was moments before I was wheeled off to my mammogram when she said, “We’ll be with you all the way.” That was three weeks ago. She was the doctor my General Practitioner sent me to, her ‘colleague’. 

A week after the BC doctor visit, in comes the Oncologist to pressure me and make me feel even less in control when she uttered the words chemotherapy. The last I’ve seen or heard from her was two weeks ago. Oh, her navigator person has been in contact putting a little pressure on me to decide even though I asked REPEATEDLY about alternative treatment. The oncologist informed the BC doctor that, “Joni is not committing.” 

So the BC doctor had a person at the desk (there were five receptionists when I went in for my initial visit) call me telling me I needed to make an appointment. Doc. wanted to talk to me. I said I would call back. Tuesday of this week after navigator lady called to put the pressure on me, I told her BC doctor wanted to see me and after I see her, I’d get back to her, the navigator lady. I called BC doctor to make an appointment and one of her five receptionist said she’d call me back. She needed to see how much time to put me in for with the doctor. It’s Friday, she never called back.

Tuesday at five, my phone rang and it went to voicemail before I had the chance to pick it up. It was my General Practitioner calling to see how I was and if there was anything she could do for me. She even left me her cell phone number. I cried. This is the FIRST doctor who actually took the time out of their day to PERSONALLY call me!

I didn’t call her but by Thursday she made another call. She’s persistent but I needed that at that point and time. I called the office, the Desk Lady said that the doctor would like to see me, for a follow-up visit, a wellness visit (my guess, anything to get me into the office to see if I’m okay.) I began to cry, “Can you ask her if she is going to abandon me?” 

Desk Lady didn’t understand, but I went on to tell her basically what I told you above, I felt abandoned by the medical community because I uttered the words Alternative Treatment. She sounded not surprised at all and said, “It is YOUR body! You need to do what YOU want.” I told her that was the first time in three weeks I’ve heard those words from ANY of the offices! We’ll get you in here Tuesday of next week, she offered.

I don’t know about you but Dr. appointments are usually hard to come by but this place actually has walk in visits. This doctor has to be as busy as any other doctor but there was an opening on Tuesday in a couple of different time slots convenient to ME.

My mind suddenly began to spin paranoia webs of background deceit brought on by no other than the dark one. “Was she acting on BC doctor’s orders to put pressure on me? Is this all about who makes the dollar off of my Breast Cancer?” I immediately thought of my dream the other night where the webs were sucked from my system tossed into the sea.  

I felt a relief wash over me, I was back in control and someone in the form of my General Practitioner was out there, waiting to see me and willing to listen. That’s all I want in this mess of confusion is for someone to listen to me. I don’t want her to say what I want to hear, I want to listen to her too and see what she has to say about all of this. 

Chris Wark of Chris Beat Cancer is just ONE of the thousands of testimonials against chemotherapy. He’s not a new age guru, he’s a colon cancer SURVIVOR! People will never hear these testimonials because cancer is a BILLION dollar industry that doesn’t WANT you to hear them. Listen, I am not treading lightly in my decision, trust me, having three members die in one year is weighing heavily on my decision. They chose THEIR path and I am choosing my path! I walk hand-in-hand with God my heavenly Father! We’ve got this. I'm ALIVE!

Isa. 6:10 “Make the heart of this people fat, and make their ears heavy, and shut their eyes; lest they see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart, and convert, and be healed.”