Hope In The Hopeless

2 Cor. 1:3-4 (ESV) “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

Hope in the Hopeless

Shocked, saddened or heartbroken, that is the reaction you get when you tell people your diagnosis. The Big C has always carried with it the equality of a death sentence. They don’t see the hope of Christ living in us and working through us, they see disaster, dread, empathy, basically, they see death in us.

I’ve learned in my life that Jesus overcame death and it is not something to be feared. If we feared death with every downfall we have in our life, every affliction, every illness, and disease, we would see it as a disaster about to happen. Opportunity knocks in the strangest of situations. Some people are used to show you the Glory of God in an affliction as we show you the Light of Christ shining through us.

There IS hope in the hopeless; you just need to be willing to see past your own hardened observations. Empathizing is a lot different than sympathizing.  Empathizing is almost like feeling sorry for a person going through a difficult stage in their life where sympathizing is feeling equal in understanding what the person is going through. 

Definition of:
Empathy – the psychological identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

Sympathy -- harmony of or agreement in feeling, as between persons or on the part of one person with respect to another.

When my Dad, Aunt, and Uncle were all battling this same disease, I felt sorry for them because I couldn’t do anything so I felt helpless and I didn’t understand what they were going through because I had never been through the same thing. As individual and unique as this disease is, we all handle the diagnosis and treatment differently. 

Many are conditioned to see a death sentence. Many see no hope in the hopeless, many also would rather turn their heads to ignore the situation than bringing HOPE to the hopelessness people feel.

I’ll admit, after hearing the initial diagnosis, it crumbled me like a cookie. I saw my life slowly flash before my eyes and I saw an imminent death sentence awaiting me. The oncologists fed me their lies and I believed them, even after I had accepted this illness, they continued to shovel in the fear and hopelessness. I would enter the office full of hope, I would leave wondering where the broom was to sweep up the mess I’d leave behind. 

I would regain the hope I walked in with not long after leaving the office and I promised myself I wouldn’t put myself through that series of negative mud-slinging ever again. I would build on my strength with the Lord and I would walk a path few are brave enough to face. Even if it is not considered bravery, there needs to be an inner strength and willingness to walk the path that might look dim to others but to you is a path of Light.

I see hope in the hopeless. Just like the rain filled days, I always saw the sun shining through. The stationary bike is a perfect example. I could see the days on end of rain as taking my newly formed walking routine away from me but instead, I saw the bike in the basement as a ray of light! And this week, I learned from hubby’s mom, who gave us the bike, that it had a story behind it.

Just a reminder, things always walk through my door free of charge or of minimal price when I need them the most, the bike rode in when my husband was suffering from blindness. The bike sat in his mother’s basement doing nothing and she didn’t want to get rid of it, but when her son needed something to keep his idle body busy, she offered the bike to us.

Many years ago, his mother had found out that someone had entered her name in a raffle. She is not one to sign up for raffles for her own reasons but this person signed her up and guess what she won? The bike! It’s a nice stationary bike, a Schwinn to be exact, with an arm exerciser as you peddle too! She took it not knowing what to do with it so it sat in her basement, years on end until her son went blind and she offered it to him. Little did she know that it would be a blessing to me also. We moved to Nebraska eight years ago BECAUSE of his blindness and had we remained in Texas, no bike, no story. His sight was restored in another miraculous moment that I wrote about, years ago.

God works in mysterious ways of bringing HOPE to the hopeless! I frequently see meme after meme telling me not to donate to the Goodwill because they are making millions off of us people. I have to disagree, I have never gone into a Goodwill where a Cadillac was parked outside and the manager was wearing an expensive Armani suit. No, I see people of my class or lower, working the register, working the backroom unloading donations, I see people WORKING and not for millions of dollars either. That is the only place where I can go and AFFORD nice jeans and clothes and I’m not ashamed to admit it either! I donate clothes to them and I buy clothes from them. 

Hope in the hopeless, from a 2011 post of mine: “Ok, Shady Brooks is a place in my mind where water ripples downstream, I create the illusion of the rainbow permanently above my head inspiring me to move forward in life, sitting on the edge of the water with my notebook in hand. No laughter, just the rushing water, wind-chimes off in the distance and me sitting there, alone, waiting for sanity to brush my face and as they slowly appear, I realize, they are all new people, that have entered my life and are lifting me to the heights that I need to be.”

It isn’t just me bringing hope to the hopeless; it is my friends bringing hope to me, too. They are surrounding me with support and without them, I don’t feel this path would be as easy going as the past four months (fourteen years of friendship for that matter) have been. Sure I have my down days but there is HOPE waiting for me at the beginning and end of every single day! I make the most of a day and I find a peace in my affliction and will continue to share my HOPE and Light with you!

God Bless You, one and ALL! 

Pss. 111:1 “Praise ye the LORD. I will praise the LORD with my whole heart, in the assembly of the upright, and in the congregation.”

There is no one like our God!

God of this City

A New Way Of Living

Prov. 28:1 (KJV) “The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion.” 

A New Way Of Living

When I first went to the doctor in January (and successive doctors) they all seemed to ask the same questions of me and one of the main symptoms of this disease surfaced, “Have you experienced rapid weight loss?” 
“Nope, I sure haven’t; I’ve been a pretty steady weight person not rapidly gaining or losing."
“Bleeding?”
“Nope.”
“Leakage?”
“Nope.” Nothing about me said I had this disease but here I am, four months later battling the disease of a lifetime. 

Everything changed on January 25, 2017. That was the day of my diagnosis; the day my world flipped upside down and everything changed for me. I would never be the same person again after this day. I would be a new tried and true transfiguration of the old me in the coming months. I would be the same me but physically, spiritually and mentally everything would be thrust into overdrive and I’d be in the race of my life, for my life.

While people are out there in the world trying every weight loss concoction imaginable from Slim Fast to Weight Watchers, to Jenny Craig, so you can spend hundreds of dollars on their product to lose the weight you’ve struggled your life to lose. From pills to shakes to patches, everything under the sun is used to promote these products. Do you know the one thing that is cheap and isn’t readily accepted? Change in the diet! A new way of living.

While I don’t know or understand the struggles of losing weight I am not one to inform you on the nutrition craze of the race I’m in. Promote nutrition? When doctors across the world are promoting drugs and pills, surgery, and lifelong commitments to their ‘programs of pharma’, the people who promote nutrition and health are laughed and scoffed at, only because we live in a world of quick fixes.

Yesterday I faced and overcome a battle I knew would take place. I did not allow fear to have me flee, instead, I faced a Q&A from the family. My hubby’s aunt and three uncles were in town from different parts of the U.S. for their yearly get together on Memorial Day and while I didn’t want to be a part of a Memorial Day cookout, his aunt had told me at the wedding a couple of weeks ago, that she’d come out to my house to see me if we didn’t come to the cookout. We went to his moms on Sunday instead where we chatted.

His aunt asked all of the questions, from what are you eating, why no nuts, to my stance on no chemo. I was okay with it, I didn’t feel intimidated or persecuted instead I felt love and compassion. This is the awesome family I never had as a child and I am blessed to even be in their lives. 

I told them how I’m utilizing my Frankincense and soon to be added Myrrh, which is still under clinical studies (and will be for many more years) as to the promise in treating this dastardly disease. I told his, sound biblical family, how the wise men brought these things to Jesus at His birth because these elements would be used at His death, they knew because they were Wise Men. *Chuckle chuckle laugh laugh.*

His family sat mesmerized and quite amazed at my transformation in four months and his aunt offered, you’ve really done your research. I mentioned once again that I’m a writer and that is what we do so we can bring you the most knowledgeable information we have. We try to bring you the truth as we know it so our writing holds credibility. She was pleased. His aunt with the cherubic face was pleased. 

It was an informative weekend as I learned that his aunt, who is eighty or nearing it, who drives from South Dakota to visit her family in Nebraska, was also having medical issues of her own, and that she was a STUDENT OF TAI CHI! 

I left feeling good about the visit and the only thing I feel I left hanging was the error of them assuming I’m against medical intervention where health is concerned. I need my writing community to understand I am not against MEDICINE or the medical community because I KNOW people are still alive today BECAUSE of the drugs they are given by the doctor! What I AM against is the doctors closed minds to anything nutritious that would benefit you. There are doctors out there willing to work with you, but where I am? They’re far and few between!

Like his aunt taking Tai Chi. She said that the class was held, ironically, at a Cancer Center and it is offered to patients (cancer and otherwise) at a reduced rate, to HELP them with what they are experiencing medically. Since moving is not an option, I have to try whatever works for me out here in the middle of nowhere.

While people are out in the world struggling with their weight and other health issues, they’d much rather sink hundreds if not thousands of dollars in programs that are essentially a quick fix to what really ails them and that is their HEALTH! It can all be changed by CHANGE in your diet! There are herbal remedies for thinning your blood, there are herbal diuretics, homeopathic remedies that could possibly eliminate your heart medication and so much more is out there waiting for you to harvest. 

I’m not against the medical community, I’m against them not giving you the entire spectrum of what will heal you. I’m against lies and deception. Whether that is the medical community, political community and yes, even the religious community. I’m against the wicked machinations of them trying to relinquish me to a trembling fear-laden woman. I’d rather fight like a LION and come out roaring. If I live or die in the process, I can say I didn’t succumb to conformity. The easiest not-so-easy diet doesn’t cost a lot of money, it cost a new way of LIVING!

Gen. 6:12 “And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth."

Quotation Saturday ~ Healing, Health, Faith

Pss. 143:1 (KJV) "Hear my prayer, O LORD, give ear to my supplications: in thy faithfulness answer me, and in thy righteousness."

Disease

“Don't destroy yourself by allowing negative people to add gibberish and debris to your character, reputation, and aspirations. Keep all dreams alive but discreet, so that those with unhealthy tongues won't have any other option than to infect themselves with their own diseases.” 
― Michael Bassey Johnson

“The physician should not treat the disease but the patient who is suffering from it” 
― Maimonides

“In examining disease, we gain wisdom about anatomy and physiology and biology. In examining the person with disease, we gain wisdom about life.” 
― Oliver Sacks

“Today we fight. Tomorrow we fight. The day after, we fight. And if this disease plans on whipping us, it better bring a lunch, 'cause it's gonna have a long day doing it.” 
― Jim Beaver

Health

“Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.” 
― Hippocrates

“Top 15 Things Money Can’t Buy
Time. Happiness. Inner Peace. Integrity. Love. Character. Manners. Health. Respect. Morals. Trust. Patience. Class. Common sense. Dignity.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“The individual who says it is not possible should move out of the way of those doing it.” 
― Tricia Cunningham

“The First wealth is health.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

HEALING

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” 
― Jalaluddin Rumi

“Each of us has a unique part to play in the healing of the world.” 
― Marianne Williamson

“As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation -- either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.” 
― Martin Luther King Jr.

“Listen to God with a broken heart. He is not only the doctor who mends it but also the father who wipes away the tears.” 
― Criss Jami

FAITH

“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” 
― C.S. Lewis

“Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.” 
― J.R.R. Tolkien

“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.” 
― Corrie ten Boom

“The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.” 
― Søren Kierkegaard

“I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you're going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.” 
― C. JoyBell C. 

“As the disease washes over me, I look at my health and discover a healing path through my faith; a road I’m willing to take.”
~ Joni Zipp

Seeing The Light

Eph. 5:26 "That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,"

Seeing the Light

After many days of rain and no sunshine, I finally saw the light the other day and I ran and got my camera. I took a couple of pictures just to prove I knew the orb was still out there in the universe spinning! Without it, I lack Vit. D in a big way and leaves me with stress in trying to bring vibrancy and the vitamin into my world via supplementation. For what seems like months, the sun has been a rare event as well as warmth which can sadden anyone in what is supposed to be Spring! 

Out here in Nebraska, we had such a warm and mild winter, the farmers thought they’d start early with tilling the fields and planting. That turned out to be a bad idea since we’ve had freezing temps and many of the fields need to be redone. Also, we’ve had so much rain the fields flooded out making the farmers well aware that no matter what they do, He is still in charge! 

Recently I read the sad news that I shouldn’t be eating the nightshade vegetables. The ones that are more than likely causing me inflammation are peppers (red and green), cayenne pepper, and tomatoes! I’m going to try and cut back on these. I know I overindulge in these but only because I read they were on the non-acidic list or the alkaline list. I didn’t look into what was causing the flare up of my arthritis and while my Boswellia has a remarkable effect I still have some back pain and I now KNOW it is from my overindulgence in red bell peppers and tomato everything!

Goodness, what things we need to learn to regain our health! This is the nightshade list and while I don’t have a problem with many, the peppers (cayenne, hot, and bell) and tomatoes jumped out at me as my over indulgence lay glaring in my face like the once hidden sunshine.  

Ashwagandha
Bell peppers (a.k.a. sweet peppers)
Bush tomato
Cape gooseberry (also known as ground cherries—not to be confused with regular cherries)
Cocona
Eggplant
Garden huckleberry (not to be confused with regular huckleberries)
Goji berries (a.k.a. wolfberry)
Hot peppers (such as chili peppers, jalapenos, habaneros, chili-based spices, red pepper, cayenne)
Kutjera
Naranjillas
Paprika
Pepinos
Pimentos
Potatoes (but not sweet potatoes)
Tamarillos
Tomatillos
Tomatoes

Like I said in my 5 25 17 post, four things cancer finds comfort in and snuggles up to is a virus, inflammation, bacteria, and fungus; all four of which I’ve battled throughout my life with and I realize NOW as the root cause of this disease eating away at me. No, I wasn’t sent to battle ONE illness, I have three or four, yay me! I AM a warrior! 

With Memorial Day approaching as the call to honor war veterans who have died in battle, I think of the ones who lived with the battle circling around them as they fought, trying to survive the killing war. I guess that would be what Veterans Day is for. I also think of all of the people who lighten the somber weekend with a cookout and have the day off of work rejoicing in a three-day weekend, giving nary a thought of the men who died in battle.

While I respect the Armed Forces and all of the government holidays celebrating them, my Memorial Day will be filled with thoughts of all of the family members I lost to the Battle of Cancer. There is no national holiday memorializing their loss and cancer has wiped out millions! 

I am not minimizing the Veterans of war; I have many members of my family who have served. I salute them for their service. But I have every right to memorialize my family members who lost the battle of their disease because there will be no government holiday remembering those victims. 

This week has been a somber week as I try and maintain my optimism. While I see the Light at the end of this tunnel and continue to wake thanking the Lord for being allowed to be a voice to the people, I have my days where optimism wanes. Four months in and it is quite difficult to daily wake up and be the pep who can’t eat peppers, the zip with a zing, the life amid so much death.

Hubby’s family will have another get-together next week and it will be yet another one I miss. I will be ready to celebrate with them by Christmas I hope, but I am still not ready yet for questions, unhealthy food, and celebration. I’m still in the early stages of acceptance of this disease, which is more earth-shattering than my psoriasis or arthritis, that’s for sure. They only know I’m battling the ‘C’ and arthritis and while they love me, they still have questions as to my choice in this path. I can hear everyone’s thoughts, “What, no drugs? Is she insane?” I can assure you I’m not, I’m saved!

Prov. 17:22 (NIV) “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” 

As I move forward and accept the fact that some ‘friends’ have given me the cold shoulder, I move forward into the Light and pray for their wounded souls. I don’t pray for myself as often as I should because there seem to be so many more people out there in the world worse off than me and they need my prayer.

As I seek and find the source of my optimism I stay in touch via my writing as often as I’m led to the words that fill me, I offer them to you. Remember, we are all members of one body. As you unknowingly hurt one, you hurt the other members and as you knowingly seek out to hurt one, you hurt the many. 

From my morning devotional from Bible Gateway: “Solomon assures us a cheerful heart is good medicine for the soul, the mind, and the body. Positive thoughts lead to a positive outlook which leads to a positive heart and a positive life. Negative thoughts lead to a broken spirit which impacts our minds, emotions and our lives.” Life in the flesh is another toxin invading the battlegrounds.

May God bless you all this weekend with loving memories of Veterans who have passed as well as family members who have passed. May your heart and soul be filled with love.

Romans 12:3-5 (NIV) "For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ, we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others."

Fort McHenry

Locust Point, Baltimore, Maryland

My hometown

Continued Healing...

Prov. 14:30 (NIV) "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones."

When people say that all I’m doing to heal this most dreaded disease on the planet is hokey stuff, well turn yourself around, this hokey stuff is of sound doctrine you know? Look at the above verse. A heart at peace gives LIFE to the body!

You see, the Bible tells us to use the herbs of the land. It tells us to eat the right foods and the GMO filled toxic food is NOT biblically sound food to eat. I realized something this week with our shopping journey, it’s not just the food that I can’t eat that brings me down, it’s looking at a sick nation consumed with overeating. 

We’re not just living in an overweight nation, we’re living in an obese nation. I’m not pointing fingers at people or judging you because maybe there is a medical reason for your weight issues; I’m talking about looking out into the world and seeing people being consumed by food, not the other way around.

If you’re a label reader as I’ve now become you’ll see the processors of food have used manipulative ways to get you to buy their product with words like ‘all natural’, ‘healthy’, 'vitamin filled’ but when you read the ingredients, safflower, soy, lecithin, oils. Oils of any kind are not natural and healthy. colors and dyes are not natural and neither are dextro- anything or -oxides.

In biblical times the overweight people were reserved for the kings of the land. The rich over indulged while the poor withered away to nothing. Today it is the poor that are growing in size and the rich are affording the only healthy food on this planet. Do you know why? Because we’ve been manipulated by the system!

People go on diets all the time, they try and try to lose the weight, they use every (processed) source of achieving their desired weight and then in a couple of years, the battle has to resume because the diet failed or is it because they weakened? 

In these past four months, I’ve learned a lot about myself, that’s usually what fasting does, clarifies spiritual insights to yourself that need tending. I obviously needed to be more aware of my health and basically this change in food lifestyle (I will not call it a diet) was forced on me and I’ve learned I have the willpower and strength of some Super Hero of the comic books! 

What I’ve also learned is that cancer likes four things: virus, bacteria, inflammation, and fungus. These four things are the breeding ground for the disease. All four of which I've struggled with my whole life. You add emotional stress and trauma to the mix and your C cells start multiplying like rabbits. 

While we live in a nation that believes in the Big Pharma ways of healing, teaching doctors to slice and dice patients and drugging them, there is a small portion (growing by the minute) that teaches different ways to heal that doesn’t start with fear, slice, dice, and radiate. Why would our people be against the natural type of CURE for a disease that is sweeping the nation and taking out people like fumigating ants?

I find it quite admirable when people are trying to lose weight and better their health. They need the strength of a Super Hero and sometimes they find it in the Will of God, or by giving up what they lust after, one can lust after unhealthy food, you know. People say I don’t know WHY I ate that five pounds of chocolate, or that extra helping of mashed potatoes, or that extra thick juicy steak. They know why, they craved it, lusted for it and became filled with it and afterward they rejoiced but then in their mind, they live with regret as they feel bloated, gassy and pain-filled. I know their doctors are sure happy. 

True contentment in life isn’t about having what you want and crave, it’s about being appreciative and grateful for what you already have. I have a disease. I’m thankful God didn’t wipe me out; He awakened me and gave me a second chance. When people are told they have this disease, do you think that’s what they’re saying? Thank you, Lord? I don’t think so because I know what my initial reaction was and I know the God slap moment I had almost immediately in the following days. 

I have dug and dug, research upon research and am finding quite an arsenal of unconventional healing techniques out in this world that I hope and pray are one day the more conventional method of treating this disease. I can tell by people’s reaction to my method of healing, that this world has a long way to go in understanding everything. 

People say they believe in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, but when someone turns to this method of healing, they’re frowned upon. It’s as if those pedestal-people feel they hold all the truth and knowledge about God and His kingdom, and no ditzy blond in the twenty-first century is going to tell them anything differently! 

Heb. 11:1 “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

I know to heal from this disease no method is going to work if I don’t believe in it and that is one of the main things that Naturopath agree upon. If you believe chemo will work, it works and they head you in that direction. If you don’t believe chemo will work for you (like me) it won’t work, it’ll be more disastrous. I am not buying into the disaster route. I’m following the healing route all the way!

To HEAL you must start with your Spirit. God sent the Holy Spirit to fill us and the Holy Spirit is not just in us to praise and worship it is there for us to find healing! With calling on the healing the Spirit brings with Him, we tap into our mind which is the storehouse of past traumas, events, negative and positive that we’re going to call on the Holy Spirit to heal with us, together, never ever alone! Only then can we think that the change of lifestyle and supplementation will be the powerhouse to our healing.

If you’re fighting overweight issues and not seeing results, maybe you went about it backward; supplementation, therapy, then turning to God. This ditzy blond is going to tell you, that’s not how it works. This is what I’ve learned over the past four months. Much of this is new to me, especially where the Big C is concerned. 

I’ve always been tuned into God, but I gave no care for my mind or body. I assumed things could all just stay neatly in the closet while I lived. Nope! Spring cleaning people! HEAL with the Spirit, unconventionally tackle the mind, THEN turn your body into the flourishing temple God created!

2 Corinthians 12:9 (KJV) “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

An Emotional Healing

Jer. 30:13 “There is none to plead thy cause, that thou mayest be bound up: thou hast no healing medicines.”

Emotional Healing

I am so grateful that I’m a writer. I sit and wonder now if this wasn’t Gods plan all along; writing being my emotional healing tool during this phase of my life. I don’t even think I can put into words the elation I feel writing to you all and expressing my inner emotions. Some people have a hard time verbally communicating let alone penning their thoughts.

I find writing to be a part of my emotional healing. Healing that isn’t going to take place unless I heal emotionally as well. I can physically see and feel different aspects of my healing taking place. I believe I’ve penned everything there is to emotionally heal from unless there is some dark sinister revelation inside me churning that will spring up in time and devastate all the progress I’m making. 

I don’t see anything unknown popping up because, throughout my life, I’ve always been an open book where anyone who meets me whether online or face to face sees the real me, not a mask-wearing woman with hidden closets waiting to be cleaned out. 

Since I found out that stress and anxiety are partly to blame for this diagnosis, I had to dig really deep because I wasn’t even aware of the anxiety eating at me on a very cellular level. Dig and dig again finding the minutest of reasons for any anxiety I might be harboring. 

I have prayed and meditated for years but what I do now is an added meditation where I clean out my entire system from the inside out. You know how when Spring comes you’re inclined to clean out the closets and throw away old clothes and junk that has accumulated over the years? Well, our bodies need this same cleaning out and on a daily basis if we are ever to be healthy, non-toxic, non-drug induced creations. 

Anxiety stems from fear and God is not of fear. There is an enemy just waiting to pounce on the smallest inclination of any fear that hides in you. You might be of the chest pumping variety that says, I’m not afraid of anything, but let me ask, would you toss out those hundreds of dollars worth of meds? Why? Because you fear what might happen if you do? Fear is fear and yes that is a fear! Oh I can hear some saying that tossing meds is just plain stupid, but I’m saying, you wouldn’t even NEED those meds if you cleaned the TOXINS from your life.

Stress and worry are debilitating. Something as small as, will I be able to pay the bills this month, or will I have money to feed my family? They are worries and stress on levels you don’t even realize that eat at your immune system and as soon as your immune system is weakened, a disease strikes like a snake lashing out to bite its victim.

The root cause of much of my anxiety was my previous marriage. I’m not even joking a little bit here. I know many people who will say when there’s a problem within the marriage it is Godly to work it out and stay. I say whatever works for you does not work for all. And there IS a reason people divorce because they did try to work it out, they stayed until they suffocated trying to hold pieces of the marriage together. 

I was married at the tender age of seventeen and stayed in a toxic filled, anxiety-laden marriage for TWENTY YEARS! I can guarantee ninety percent of what I have attacking my body is because of my previous marriage. I could feel healing taking place the moment I left home but the damage had already been done, the cells were falling apart, the immune system had become unraveled and an illness slapped me upside the chest, quite literally.

After I left home, so many aspects of my past haunted me for years. I was out here with my Savior by my side the entire time and the enemy was back home sending out the whipping tool trying to rein me in via guilt and shame. I didn’t succumb and even after discussing divorce with my ex, he still thought he owned me and could wait years upon years before ever filing for divorce. 

My ex would never be a man and face the damages he caused, and not taking care of his son was taking its toll on my son and me. This was a layer of the onion exposed. It was bitter, it hurt peeling the reality away, it scarred me and I’m now paying for that weakened part of me. 

I filed for divorce and stood on the solid ground knowing this is what I had to do if I was ever going to heal completely. The marriage wouldn’t evaporate all by itself. The years of pain and contamination festered inside of me until it bubbled over into a deathly disease. I believed I was healing all of those years away from home and I was but like I said, the mutilation had scarred me and had detrimental results.

I am now on a path of emotional cleansing from my past. It wasn’t just the marriage but the family also. It is kind of hard throwing all of those skeleton bones out of the closet when they had been such a big part of my life for such a long time. I need to let go to heal. I’m freeing myself of the ties that had me bound. I am standing on the solid Rock of my Lord who has blessed me unconditionally all of these years and it’s the only emotional cleanser I can use.

I have people whom I thought were my friends abandon me and I have to release them too from any obligation of caring for me. I need real friends to surround me and lift me up and not abandon me when I NEED them the most. I’m not in this alone, if you say you’re my true friend, you are with me on this journey, like it or not, God has called you to CARE!

From the link above: “Take the time NOW to do an inventory of individuals you can count on. Who can you truly rely on to be there in your darkest hour? Who may have a listening ear? Stay away from those who leave you burnt out and stressed.”

I need to release some people to feel the full crux of the healing aspect. This realization of a traumatic marriage is a good part of my cleansing taking place. I have to release guilt, shame, and blame to free myself to accept the mending of my immune system. Emotional healing is never fun but it is an exhilarating portion of the patchwork quilt that will cover me, comfort me and HEAL me for the rest of my life.

All praise and Glory to God!

Acts 10:38 “How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him.”

The Onion: Peeling Away Layers

1 John 1:5 “This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.”

The Onion: Peeling Away the Layers

An onion, peeled away, layer by layer unveils a richness of flavor and health benefits; onions are good for you. As I peel away layers of my life, portions I had long forgotten and portions I’ll never forget are resurfacing. Sometimes it takes an earth-shattering diagnosis to make you stand up, take a full inventory of what you’ve stored and what needs to be let go. 

It has only been four months (this coming Wednesday) of my diagnosis that I began peeling away every essence of my being. At first I was distraught and I wanted to surrender to a slow death but instead, God had me rise above; He had me begging for life and only a life on earth with Him would suffice.

I began by peeling away layers of myself with God beside me with a broom and dustpan. He swept away the layers that brought me to this diagnosis and together we walked the healing path. Never alone I walked away from the hindrances that society would have me enslaved to, I parted ways with the negative influences that carried me here and I rose above the toxic world to find the Light of a healing path.

Isa. 18:2 “That sendeth ambassadors by the sea, even in vessels of bulrushes upon the waters, saying, Go, ye swift messengers, to a nation scattered and peeled, to a people terrible from their beginning hitherto; a nation meted out and trodden down, whose land the rivers have spoiled!”

Did you know the 555 ft. Washington Monument construction began in 1848 and six years later had to be stopped for lack of funding? It would be twenty-five years before reconstruction began again. Jesus began his ministry and it wouldn’t be complete for a couple of years but he went out building the world with miracles, His word, and laying down the path we might want to take if we are to finish being constructed in His image.

God began our individual construction the moment our mother and father lay together and produced something of a miracle inside the womb. We are all partakers of the tastes of a miracle if we are living and breathing today. Slowly we deconstructed what God built by poisoning the very building blocks He placed in us to learn, grow and beautify His creation.

We sit here today realizing the onion we are, knowing we need to peel away the years of destruction if we are ever to taste the miracle that we were created to be. Some sit in arrogant denial and feel completed but deep down they know they are far from completion. It’s going to take years to peel away the obstructions, years to rebuild all that was lost, and it will take the rest of our lives to bring forth a message. The message that God planted in us at birth needs to be exposed, expressed, delighted in, honored and respected.

I hate to break the news to you but we were not the beautiful flower seeds we believe ourselves to be. When we see a newborn infant with his or her little pudgy wrinkled up body, we are not looking at a beautiful flower, what we see is the miracle of creation. In all honesty, newborns are funny looking, wriggling little creatures, but the beauty is the breadth of the miracle we witness. 

As the child grows construction comes to a halt as we have to watch our uncompleted work go out into the world and finish what we, God, father, mother began at conception. Either the toxic work of the world takes hold, or the solid foundation that we used as building materials is built upon. Our children too will one day see the layers that need to be peeled away before seeing a completed work of art.

Even the healthiest, fit, faith-based families will need to peel away layers. They are not plucking away beautiful perfect petals of a flower, they are peeling away layers of the onion, the pain, the heartache, the would’ve, could’ve, should’ve of their entire life. The regrets falling to the floor, the resentments being placed on the dustpan, the sin that consumed us tossed in the garbage bin. We are being perfected in Christ with every blemish on our soul. 

When oncologist #2 asked me, quite frankly, “Aren’t you afraid of dying?” A smile washed over my face as I thought of meeting the Lord and said in my most serene, humble voice, “No, not at all.” While he sat perplexed at my response, I knew right then and there where I was heading. I may have a few more layers to peel, but construction of completion is underway.

All praise and Glory to the Creator!

Matt 13: 37-40 “He answered and said unto them, He that soweth the good seed is the Son of man; The field is the world; the good seed are the children of the kingdom; but the tares are the children of the wicked one; The enemy that sowed them is the devil; the harvest is the end of the world; and the reapers are the angels. As therefore the tares are gathered and burned in the fire; so shall it be in the end of this world.”

The Rains Came

Job 21:18 “They are as stubble before the wind, and as chaff that the storm carrieth away.”

The Rains Came…

Throughout April we had a lot of rain. Endless days of clouds, drizzle, cold, and darkness lay over the land. We even had snow late in the season, which is usually rare, but the way the weather has been for the past couple of years, I guess it is the new normal.

Lucky for me, I have a flurry of friends who lift my spirits on a daily basis, except when I’m in a withdrawn mood and have no contact, then I’m left on my own with the elements I’m dealt.

I like to switch things up so my daily exercise routine doesn’t become mundane and boring. I had to make the switch of having my stationary bike being brought from the basement and I placed my Health Rider down there for Adam. Since the rains came and put a damper on my daily walks, my bike has been a blessing. 

I still do my twenty-minute walks when the weather allows but when it doesn’t I hop on my bike. The other day I pulled the mower out thinking I’d do twenty minutes but I wound up out there for an hour. The weight-loss and workout does wonders for my arthritic knees. 

When my M-I-L gave us the bike eight years ago when we moved to Nebraska, it was placed in the basement. Hubby, when blind, used to go down there daily to break up his days that were filled with darkness. I bought a Health Rider at a garage sale for twenty-five bucks and that was my nice piece of equipment for me before arthritis set into my bones.

Doing all the research that I am, exercise is an important part of my healing. I didn’t know how detrimental something as simple as a cold was to me so my walks on the cold, blustery days came to a halt. Inside equipment was going to become a new part of my daily routine in my healing.

Then there’s the sun, another pivotal portion of my healing since it holds non-fabricated vitamin D! I have obtained a supplement also but the sun, that which I can’t control was what I needed. Not only for the warmth and lifter upper elements it carried, but the nutritional value people often take for granted.

The rains came…along with that, days on end of no sun. That alone is enough to drag you into the trenches of a depressed state. March and April were so filled with ominous clouds and winds, my spirit was being put through a whirlwind as if I was in the center of a tornado being sucked through the vortex drinking in all of my energy. 

May has allowed a couple of warm days, some sun with no winds; a couple of days, not a lot. Again, the storms and rains have washed over the fields and this month we’ll see once again (as in April) record low temperatures and a lot of rain.

As in life, storms come and storms go but what normally happens after a storm is the sun comes out in all its brilliance and shines allowing a rainbow to pan across the sky. Since this diagnosis, I’ve seen rainbows in the darkened clouds, swirling in the winds, and vaporized in every breath.

Is that normal? Scientifically people will say you need the sun’s reflection to create a rainbow, but let me ask you this, has anything that has happened in the storms of your life been explained by science? Do we really live so science can define us?

When I was diagnosed I had four doctors (yes four) ask me the questions they ask all victims of this disease. They were looking for the ‘normal’ symptoms, none of which I had. They looked perplexed, scratched their heads with furrowed eyebrows and said, Hmm… interesting. 

Pss. 83:15 “So persecute them with thy tempest, and make them afraid with thy storm.”

Again, when I was not ‘committing’ to their way of doing things, they looked perplexed. Their science was telling them that there is only ONE way to go and this woman is NOT committing to our way of doing things. They threw fear around like putting candy in a child’s bag on Halloween, toss it here, toss it there, these kids love their candy, note: handing them the disease! But the thing was, I didn’t like the candy they offered.

Back in Texas when my son was little, we would take him trick-or-treating. I didn’t believe in having a child beg for candy, but all of his friends were doing it, so being a homeschooled kid, we took him. When he got home he’d go through the candy and pick out what he wanted. He’d pause a few times when there was a small bag with a note attached. The note would have a Bible verse printed. I had never seen this before but then again, I didn’t do the Halloween thing but I thought it was a great idea that this dark holiday had one ray of Light in the evening. 

Do you see where I’m going with this? In the darkness of the dismal diagnosis, I SAW THE LIGHT! Instead of seeing it as a raging storm, I saw it as an offering of Light. This was a time to heal, to change and to grow! No one said a change was easy and quite often it will be one of the most difficult tasks in your life. Change is necessary to grow!  But if you never weather the storms of life and see rainbows, you are committing yourself to stagnation of an over-flowing society based on science. 

God is not science. He does not exist to be proven, He exists to be felt, known and loved. My God is not a God of confusion and perplexity, He is a God of certainty, surety, a solid rock! So when men and women of science ask me to commit to their way of doing things I have to stand firm and declare my faith to be based on Solid Ground, not sinking sand. Let the rains come, let the storms rage, let the winds blow and let the dust move. Me…I’m standing on solid ground. All praise and Glory to Him! 

Isa. 4:6 “And there shall be a tabernacle for a shadow in the daytime from the heat, and for a place of refuge, and for a covert from storm and from rain.”

Love!

1 John 4:8 “He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.”

I LOVE YOU!

Three simple words can change someone’s day, make their life feel worthwhile, send out positive signals of endorphins to move you and motivate you to go and have a positive productive day. 

I found this interpretation of love extraordinarily spot on! A good read on understanding the different levels of love. 

While love seems hard to define, my simplest explanation is this; God is love! If you can feel an intense compassion for everyone and everything in this world without being wrapped up in hate and finger pointing, you have found God and know all that He is! He IS love!

2 Tim 1:7  “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

When someone asks me how I’m doing, I’m thinking to myself, ‘well, I’m getting through every day and every single moment in love.’ Love is my emotional blanket and the one thing I will carry with me to my death. God is my love. This might sound weird but Jesus is the first man I fell in love with and to this day I still love all that He is to me. 

God is not anger, God is not frustration, so when you feel these things toward people you are not feeling God or displaying all that He is. The past couple of days feeling those emotions sent me into a repentance phase. Anger and frustration are not me and if any of my friends know one thing about me is I’m all about love. They see God in me through the love I emit.

Angry and bitter people say, ‘I have a right to be angry’ and maybe they do but it is not of God. I understand being angry some of the time but to consistently every day spew hate, anger, and frustration is a negative aspect that really hurts innocent people. Is that the intention of the grumpy angry person? It is certainly not who I am! When I feel that way I feel utterly remorseful and feel a need to repent and search my soul.

Just like this disease I’m carrying around, I didn’t see what my bad eating habits were doing to my body until it was too late and inside smothering me. This is the same effect that anger and hatred have on the people around you, you won’t know the damage you’ve caused until it is too late.

This isn’t just about food and what I can and cannot eat. I may come off as being consumed with telling you all of my eating woes. It has some to do with the Season of Family gatherings. When you say very clearly I can’t go to a restaurant or a reception where meat, booze, and more unhealthy stuff abounds because I don’t eat meat, I only eat organic veggies and fruit. They say oh, I understand, but then turn around and ask if they’ll see me at the Memorial Day cookout they have (every year). Well, the answer is NO, but then I’m explaining myself all over again! And no, booze is never ever served at their family gatherings.

I don’t want people to change for me, I want them to change for themselves. But please don’t expect me to be the same person I was a year ago because guess what, my life HAS CHANGED DRASTICALLY! I am not the same and I am all the better for it, too!

People don’t understand when a person is consumed with love and trying everything in their power and the Higher Power to bask in a healing waterfall. They only understand love when the need arises or when it fits their life. Can you imagine if God only loved you some of the time because He has a right not to love you ALL of the time? How unrealistic is it to feel that way? Well God does love you ALL of the time so what is so hard for people to love all of the time? I know... they're human. 

The enemy is out there lurking, trying to turn the love in the world into hate. I strive every single day to bring forth love and when I can’t, I close myself off from the world until I can come forth in the Light of Love once again to share a positive reflection of God in me. 

This week I lost an uncle, in April his ex-wife (my aunt) passed, and in December his son (my cousin) passed. Their deaths, three in the same family, have left me wondering, why has God taken them and left me alive? In the thirteen years that I’ve been away from my hometown I have lost seven family members that I can remember, it seems they just keep going. I know we all must go but seriously, why keep me alive? Is this the reason He brought me out here?

Mortality is not what I’m consumed with, I’m drinking in LIFE and LOVE and if you’re of the life and love portion of my life, I LOVE YOU; three words that can mean the world to someone. If you’re reading this, I THANK YOU for being on this journey, accepting me unconditionally and truly understanding what I’m going through! 

Thank you for reading. I’m healing and loving the world and embracing LIFE! Praise be to God! 

1 John 3: 22 “And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.”

Fusion Of Confusion

Job 23:12 "Neither have I gone back from the commandment of his lips; I have esteemed the words of his mouth more than my necessary food."

The Fusion of Confusion

I have to admit, what gets me down these days is the confusing mess of foods. For the past four months I’ve read this, that and the other thing. Eat this, don’t eat that, try this, this FEEDS cancer, leaving me in a total state of confusion and seriously just want to be left alone! 

A perfect example is this from this link.

“Your alkaline diet should be primarily based on organic leafy green vegetables, cauliflower and cabbages, broccoli, herbs and spices, root vegetables, beans, nuts and seeds, lentils and peas, onions, garlic, leek and chives, and non-gluten grains such as rice in small amounts.”

Now from ChrisBeatCancer and The Truth About Cancer says NO to nuts except almonds, and NO to beans and lentils and NO to grains! This kind of puts me in a state of confusion as I’m trying to fight this battle. I get so frustrated with so much mixed information!

This weekend was one of those weekends where everything I did seemed wrong, everything I touched seemed to break, and everyone I spoke to I feel I spat words instead of used encouraging words. I just wanted to be left alone. It was my anniversary and we already committed to going to our nephews' marriage. He is my husband’s sister’s step-son (from a previous marriage on her husband’s part) but an honorable young man none the less.

I knew being around all of those people was really going to put a strain on me, and my husband said it’s because I don’t like being around people. I think he’s wrong, I love people but here lately the enemy is filling me with doubts and judgments, anger, frustration and disgust.

It hasn’t even been four months since my diagnosis and I’m just expected to be the old me who wasn’t told she has an illness. An illness that scares the world but I’m expected to wear a brave face constantly and I’m moving along in my stride, trying my best. Sunday the fourteenth I sat in repentance and now I need to heal from my sin. Writing helps me to actually SEE the errors of my ways, and humility will bring me sharing them with you, my reader, the ones who care for me and will pray for me.

The week before, we went to a graduation where there were hundreds of people. The graduation and people didn’t bother me as much as not being able to go out and eat afterward. Then the wedding, the same thing happened, I didn’t feel strong enough to go to the reception where food, booze and people (who all appeared healthy) were going to be. 

My husband is a people watcher. I’m sure many of you can relate. You go to the beach not to drink in the health of the sea, but to basically watch people. You go to carnivals and fairs and what do you wind up doing? Watching people, it’s human nature I understand that. Here lately, I do not feel human!

I feel like one of those old beat up, run down cars sitting on someone’s property, just there to one day be worked on, but in the meantime, it is just there. I go to a graduation and I’m just there, a wedding, just there. I’m rusty and corroded while everyone else is shiny, sporting new do’s, new clothes, ten-inch heels, strutting like they have no care in the world, looking like a picture of health and then there is me, I’m just there.

My neighbor, who is a hoarder, has three cars sitting over there, they’re broken down but they look like they work. They don’t look bad at all, other than them clogging up the property. That’s what I feel like, I’m just here clogging up the family, having them worried and concerned if what I am doing is not insane when there are drugs out there to help me. 

I allow myself some down time and then I repent because I KNOW I am stronger than this. I KNOW I can beat this and I am the most optimistic person in my corner. Pastor Bill said something that struck me, he said, “When you’re sick sure, go to the doctors but know who the ultimate physician is.” And he gave a scripture James 5:13-15. (look at that number that is the date that I got married.) 

James 5:13-15  "Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms. Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him."

So as the enemy works on filling me with doubts and having me second guessing myself, I’m trying to be the fixer-upper that I know resides in me. All of the negativity and hate that people spew is not helping the matter so I need to stay away for awhile so I can build the strength I need to get through this. 

Yes, in time I will have more strength. What I eat and what unhealthy living habits others eat and drink won’t bother me, but right now that is causing me to want to spew hateful comments and that is NOT WHO I AM!! I’ll continue to pray for you.

I just received a message from my mother that her brother has been placed in hospice and will be passing soon. His ex-wife just died in April and their son passed in December. Prayers are definitely needed as my God saves me while taking others. 

I have left my email address on my facebook account in case you don’t see me or hear from me, THAT is how to contact me. I will be deleting my other account soon so THAT is not an option of contact. 

I am grateful for those who have continued their support of me and I pray for those who don’t. I am not weak, I am STRONG and glad to be alive and find life so worth living, I am taking care of myself to see that I continue. 

God be with you all! 

2 Tim 1:7  “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

I Choose Alternative

Deut. 3:22 “Ye shall not fear them: for the LORD your God he shall fight for you.”

Alternative: Holistic Health

The definition of alternative is #1. Choice limited to one of two or more possibilities, as of things, propositions, or courses of action, the selection of which precludes any other possibility:

When I was diagnosed, oncologist one and two NEVER gave me an alternative, they gave me a basic death sentence, in the form of slaughter, drugs, radiate, more drugs with only a ten year added lifespan, no alternative! When I asked for time to make a decision, once again, no alternative, slice and dice me like I was some kind of fruit salad being thrown together, make me poorer than I already am and basically suck the life right out of me. “She’s not committing,” is what onc. 1 said. You’re darn tootin’! I’m not committing myself to a death sentence!

Did you know that before the synthetic world of creating drugs to pacify you was made into a billion dollar industry, herbs were used to heal? The map in the link didn’t work for me but the story is well worth sharing. Herbal remedies have been around for centuries. The Native Americans, Asians, and too many cultures to name, all used herbal remedies. It seems that the American man saw a dollar sign for creating synthetic drugs that made people THINK they were being healed but it was really a pacifier to keep man addicted so they needed the drug for the rest of their lives, making the pharmaceutical companies billions of dollars.

Now when people choose to take an alternative path they’re frowned upon. I do have friends that won’t even talk to me because of this route I’m taking, for whatever reason. This is why I’m not putting my vitamin and NUTRIENT intake out here yet because I’m still learning of how each one interacts with each other. I don’t want to give false and misinformed information. All of this information is going to be part of my book so I need to be precise. I’ll explain how I found the info and used it to benefit all of us alternative treatment warriors!

There ARE alternative choices to drug, slice, and dice but you have to be willing to become a scientist, a researcher, a doctor, and a HEALER not a pacifier. You are not going to cover your illness in pharmaceutical drugs, you’re not going to hide behind meds to mask your pain, you are going to become a warrior! There is nothing like a death sentence to have you reshaping the you that you are now. You DO have an alternative to drugs!

You may feel a little whacky for some of the things I’m going to show you, but again, you have an alternative. You can go the drug route, damage your immune system, and for the rest of your life be a prisoner of Big Pharma or go the alternative route to real healing. The CHOICE is up to you. 

What is so ironic is that people choose alternative religions, gods, idols, political parties, food choices (generic or name brand) but choose an alternative treatment for a Life-Altering illness, go against what the herd of sheep being led to slaughter is doing and you’re the one in the wrong? I’m here to tell you, you are NOT in the wrong! YOU have a choice and YOU are choosing to LIVE!

Let me tell you another thing, you may feel very isolated and alone but you are NOT alone. You’ll find a support system in dear friends who will understand the death sentence you were given. You’ll find friends surrounding you and actually be supportive to you in your challenge to live. Keep these friends close, THEY are a part of the HEALING!



I wrote a poem quite a few years ago (late 80’s or early 90’s) titled Music Divine. When I wrote the poem I had in my mind the thought that music had healing properties. I even wrote a few blogs about it but this is the most recent. I believe with every fiber of my being that God was preparing me for this day. Through all the pains, struggles and stresses that life threw at me, God was preparing me, making me strong to handle this very day that I’m facing now.

~ Music Divine ~

Divine is the dancing pirouette of sound

Bathing in the luminosity of space

A bastion of baubles blazing boldly

Rhythm masking in the ticker-tape of time

Reverberating in reverent chime

Compliant to the composer of conceit

Fastidious to the feasible feast

Notorious notes nourish in sync

Melody meets a measure combine...

Divine is the dancing ~~ pirouette of sound!

copyright ©Joni Zipp

On our journey, I’m going to show you ways to allow music to be a fraction of your healing. We’re going to de-stress our lives via meditation on the word of God or whatever you choose to meditate upon it is YOUR choice. I’m not here to judge your choice; I’m here to simply guide you to an affordable way of healing.

While I’ve had to basically beg my friends for money (the majority of my family just don’t care or they think I have some hidden fortune and am able to magically heal myself or they think I can realistically afford the drug route, who knows.) Sitting here two thousand dollars in debt from just getting a diagnosis is another reason to go alternative. Vitamins and herbs are a lot cheaper than the slice and dice method.

I have seven hundred thirty-four dollars, plus an anonymous donor behind the scenes who has purchased vitamins for me and has sent me money (directly to my house), and it has allowed me to get a GREAT start on my healing via the purchase of the major supplements I NEED! It also helps with the organic purchases I need. As we all know, real nutrition costs money, that is why organic foods are so high in price, it costs to bring the most nutritious foods to your food market.

My friends are indispensable! They are with me on this journey and I know that without their support, this part of the healing would not be taking place. My best advice is to surround yourself with REAL friends who really care! My husband is out here struggling to pay all the regular monthly bills, besides what has hit us with this illness. He’s a trooper too, you know. Being disabled only allows him to work part time hours, but the man is totally behind me going the alternative route and fully supports this journey of mine.

Know the importance of having people behind you, this will give you the strength you need on this long arduous journey. In two years you should be able to loosen the grip of your strict, and I mean STRICT new healing diet! In the meantime, you are going to feel GREAT while many are out in the world struggling in pain and addicted to pharma, YOU ARE ON THE PATH TO HEALING! 

Here’s to US, WARRIORS! God Bless!

Isa. 9:5 “For every battle of the warrior is with confused noise, and garments rolled in blood; but this shall be with burning and fuel of fire.”

Honor Thy Mother

Ex. 20:12 "Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee."

Honor Thy Mother

This weekend coming up is Mother’s Day. I don’t usually celebrate these days but Mother’s Day has some importance since mother’s all over the world will be celebrated for giving birth and being a mother. Think about it, you would not be here without your mother.

Like any other inquisitive person I had to find out why we celebrate mother’s day in the first place. I was wrong in my assumption that we celebrated the day because we were celebrating Mary giving birth to Jesus or some other religious aspect. I learned something new today and want to share what I learned with you.

Info from my google feed:

Where does Mother’Day come from?

It is celebrated on different days across the world but is generally observed between April and May in the northern hemisphere. The modern holiday of Mother's Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in Grafton, West Virginia.

Why do we celebrate mother’s day?

Celebrations of mothers and motherhood can be traced back to the ancient Greeks and Romans, who held festivals in honor of the mother goddesses Rhea and Cybele, but the clearest modern precedent for Mother's Day is the early Christian festival known as “Mothering Sunday.”

Who came up with the idea of Mother’s Day?

Mother's Day started as an anti-war movement. Anna Jarvis is most often credited with founding Mother's Day in the United States. Designated as the second Sunday in May by President Woodrow Wilson in 1914, aspects of that holiday have since spread overseas, sometimes mingling with local traditions.

Interesting facts about the Dark History of Mother’s Day.

When did Mother’s Day originate?

In 1914, Woodrow Wilson signed a proclamation designating Mother's Day, held on the second Sunday in May, as a national holiday to honor mothers. Although Jarvis was successful in founding Mother's Day, she became resentful of the commercialization of the holiday.

***

I think you get the idea. Mother’s Day was all about honoring mothers and here in America we chose to see the almighty dollar and commercialized the day to the hilt. 

I have always just written my mother (and father, Father’s Day) a card on this day honoring them with respect with words from my heart. I think that meant more to them than any money (that I never had) to give them.

While my siblings showered my mother and dad on their respective holidays with money ($100 or $50 with an expensive Hallmark card), flowers, or food (A dozen steamed crabs excited my mother and are always pricey), my mother and father always looked forward to the poem I would write that would either make them laugh but more often than not, make them cry. 

As my mother was going through the personal belongings of my dad after he passed she found poems of mine that my dad had in his drawer, his wallet, or used as a bookmark throughout the years. I cried tears of joy and tears of sorrow when my mother told me that my dad kept many (if not all) of my poems close to him. How much of the money, food or flowers did they still have, none, but my poems held weight, my words had meaning!

So as you celebrate this upcoming Mother’s Day, don’t think of the flower, money or card you can give her, think of the words you’d like to say to her, (it doesn’t have to be a poem) and write to her. Whether your mother or mom, or significant mother is alive or deceased, write to her. Trust me on this one, your words will mean more than anything to you AND mainly to HER, the mother you’re honoring. And maybe one day in the future you’ll find your words tucked in a special place of hers that she cherished.

If your mom is deceased take the words to her gravesite or read them aloud to her. Let her know that these are the words you wished you had said while she was alive basking in the gifts but not your words. Don’t let Hallmark be your words this Mother’s Day let YOU be your words this Mother’s Day!

Have a most BLESSED week my friends!

2 Sam. 22:50 “Therefore I will give thanks unto thee, O LORD, among the heathen, and I will sing praises unto thy name.”

Joni, The Rocky Champ

James 5:16 KJV “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

Joni, The Rocky Champ!

I must admit, I feel a little guilty feeling so good. I saw my sister-in-law, yesterday on the 6th at my niece’s graduation and she said after looking me over with a broad smile on her face, “You look great!”

I responded with, “I feel great! You wouldn’t know I have this dreaded disease would you?” 

The place we were at was a pretty big place with thousands of stadium style seating. It had an elevator to accommodate people or an open-aired staircase which allowed people to ascend via the stairs. 

Fear gripped me when I saw all of those steps, but seeing the family and their faces, telling me they’ve been praying for me made me feel ‘flighty’. I felt as if I could accomplish anything. So when my husband asked if I wanted to take the elevator, I boldly stated, “NO, I’ll take the stairs.” 

My other niece, daughter of my s-i-l, my mother in law, an uncle and I and hubby all began the ascent. Step, step, step, step I went, keeping pace with the floods of people in front and behind me as well as my niece and s-i-l. My sister in law gazed over at me at me keeping up with her and said, “Go Joni!” A platform then twenty more steps I went! I heard my husband behind me saying, “Show off.” Jokingly of course because all were quite amazed that this little woman who used to walk every step on a flat surface in pain, cringed with every hug because of my back pain, dreaded going to the store because of my pain, was now the Rocky Balboa of Nebraska ascending the stairs like a champ! 

Yes, I did a little fist raise at the top of the stairs, through panting breath I exclaimed, “I DID IT!!!” I was more raising my hands thanking the Lord for the strength than I was thinking of Rocky. But yes forty-some stairs and I made it. (Keep in mind the steps it took to get through the parking lot, to the front door, to see the stairs.)

While I felt I had the strength of a thousand men behind me, I looked at the stadium style seating with exasperation and fumed, I cannot go DOWN all those steps. Uncle said, “Why because you just made it up all of those steps?” A little out of breath I stated, “That, and my fear of heights!” After a little chuckle we found seating at the top and found they were pretty comfortable heavily plastic seats, not the bleacher style seats that we faced at a previous graduation two years ago, where I had been in so much pain, I had to leave the event and wait in the car.

Not this time, this time I was a champ! And to think I was hesitant in even wanting to attend the event. But my niece was graduating. This little lady has spent eight years trying to get this diploma to be a nurse. The course was full if I remember correctly when she first signed up and she was put on a waiting list where she tried to wait patiently. In the meantime she took on three jobs to fund her schooling, working at nursing homes and other duties of the field to prepare her for this day. She found the most money-making job in delivering pizza’s believe it or not.

I was hesitant in attending mostly because I would have to face many family members that I haven’t seen since my diagnosis. I prayed of course for guidance and God always tells me, “We got this!” So again, I took His word and barreled on. I didn’t attend the after party where too much food would be that I couldn’t eat. But we came, I conquered, and I felt GREAT! I made sure each and every one of them knew it too!

The other reason I was hesitant was my bladder. A forty-five-minute drive? Could I make it after having two cups of coffee and some water? Guess what people, I made it!!! We sat through an hour of the diplomas being handed out before I made my way to the restroom to relieve my bladder before venturing on another forty-minute drive home!

I’ll have to admit, I’m pretty amazed myself! When God said He was healing all of me, He meant it! He’s not laying down on the job expecting me to do all of the work, nope we’re a team! I’ll climb those stairs as long as He fills me with strength! I’ll bask in the sun as long as my friends and family are behind me cheering me on, I’ll continue on this promising road as long as God allows His Light to shine through me! Yesterday I was living proof for all of those who needed to see, SEE!

All Glory and Praise to Him on High!

Praise be to God!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 KJV “Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

AMEN!

I'm Gonna Let It Shine

1 Peter 1:7 “That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:”

I’m Gonna Let It Shine

Do you have a goal in life? I never really was a goal setter and I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I have since a young girl of about fourteen always had a plan, kind of, and that was for people to see Christ in me. 

You might say, well weren’t you a drug addict and alcoholic? And I would quite bluntly and honestly admit that yes, yes I WAS. BUT here’s the thing, people always saw God in me. Comments like, “Oh she’s that God person”, or “Don’t ask her for advice, she’ll give you a sermon.” stuck with me. I went through life thinking, I’m a God person, and that is what people see in me, even in my darkest days, they see a Light.

As an adult, in hindsight, I see that it wasn’t my plan after all; I think seeing God in me has been His plan all along. While being dragged through coals of fire, being darkened by pain and strife, I always saw God. People would often wonder how I could see God through raging storms of hell. Again, quite bluntly I responded with, “Because He never lets me down.”

Drug addiction and alcoholism didn’t break me, being sexually abused didn’t taunt me, the loss of two children didn’t crack me like an egg, I plowed on refining my light so that the world would see the brilliance shining from me. 

Last week I went to WalMart. I was standing inside as I waited for hubby to park the car. It was a chilly rainy day so I opted for being let off at the door instead of walking in the rain. I stood inside and my eye caught an older lady and man as they passed me. She had an ear-to-ear smile as our eyes met, then her hand went to her husband's arm as she was gently nodding towards me. Did she know me? Recognize me, what? I didn’t recognize her but I smiled back.

As I walked through the store, I felt like I had a neon sign on my forehead because for some reason I noticed more and more people smiling at me. Not just the smirky kind of smile, smiles that said, I SEE you! What? It was an interesting shopping event, to say the least. This week I went shopping but this time I was going to notice what and why the smiles were there.

I realized that I had a smile on my face for every passer-by. Whether a crotchety old woman, a disgruntled older man, a mom with a screaming child, I had a smile for each and every one of them and they could do nothing more but to look at me, and smile back!

My ego would say, oh yeah, I’m all that. But the portion of a realist in me says, they see me; they see CHRIST in me. Instead of looking at people and forming a judgment in my mind, ‘she wore THAT’, ‘she needs to lose weight’, or ‘take a chill pill dude’, I looked with an intense gaze and thought, GOD, BLESS YOU!

I think the drastic change in my diet has caused my mind to expand on some metaphysical level; I see God in everything. Yes, this has always been parts of me but lately, it is ALL of me not just a portion of me.   

It’s not easy looking intently into someone’s eyes and seeing their pain, like the crotchety old woman who had a bit of road rage on the way to the store. I offer a smile. To the grumpy older man who was hesitant in getting out of bed and going shopping on his own because he NEEDED his medication, I offer my smile. To the man who has a bit of impatience brewing while waiting in a long line, I smile and let him go ahead of me, silently blessing each and every one as they pass. 

Can you imagine what kind of world we’d live in if every person took it upon themselves to bless people? I know the world is set on destruction but individuals can make a difference by shedding a light in all the dark places. They’re everywhere you walk, they’re in every person you have eye contact with, bubbling under the surface, with a light and a smile, the anger can be dispelled.

My General Practioner’s office called the other day, Ashley said, “Dr. *** wanted me to call and see how you’re doing and if you need anything.” 

I said, “I’m doing GREAT! I didn’t go to chemo and I’m feeling GREAT!”

July is my sixth-month marker and I was informed the doctor will be leaving in July since she’s finished up her two-year residency. I told Ashley, I’d make a well patient visit before the doctor left. I WILL go and shine the light for all to see! Test or no test, this little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine! Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!!!

I thought I’d share this for you to keep in mind:
From the Purpose Driven Life: “The Bible often compares trials to a metal refiner’s fire that burns away the impurities. Peter said, “These troubles come to prove that your faith is pure. This purity of faith is worth more than gold.” (1 Peter 1:7) A silversmith was asked, “How do you know when the silver is pure?” He replied, “When I see my reflection in it.” When you have been refined by trials, people can see Jesus’ reflection in you. James said, “Under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.” (James 1:3).”

James 1:3  “Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.”